WEBVTT - Can You Put A Price Tag On Your Relationship? 0:00:02.160 --> 0:00:06.480 Hey there, everybody. It is Saturday, July eighteenth, and we 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:12.200 are discussing the role of money in your relationships. There 0:00:12.240 --> 0:00:15.640 was an article that was pretty funny. It was conducted 0:00:15.720 --> 0:00:19.639 by a casino group and they asked the question how 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:22.040 much money to leave your lover? They wanted to know 0:00:22.079 --> 0:00:24.560 how big of a jackpot it would take for you 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:27.440 to leave your partner. But it got us thinking and 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:31.360 talking about the role of money in our relationships and 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:34.400 why it seems to be on every list the number 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:38.120 one reason why we fight. And with that, everyone, welcome 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:41.720 to Amy and TJ. And this is something actually we 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:44.760 have disagreements about a lot of things. Have we ever 0:00:44.920 --> 0:00:47.000 actually thought about money? 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:49.960 Probably so because you took some money, a significant chunk 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:52.800 of money of ours recently. I don't know where it 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:53.760 is or how to access it. 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:57.600 I'm still I didn't even know what you were hurrying 0:00:57.680 --> 0:00:59.120 forgotten about that someone. 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:01.280 Now you brought this because this is one of these 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:03.880 And aybody, listen to the podcast that we Every once 0:01:03.880 --> 0:01:05.960 in a while, Robes will pull out some topics that 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:08.520 I am not up on, and these are all surprises 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:10.959 to me. So she is introducing this one. So Ropes, 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:12.640 I hadn't. I didn't realize we were about to talk 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:13.200 about money. 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:14.520 And since you. 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:17.600 Brought it up, yeah, you have a bone to pick. Well, 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:21.039 I honestly, I guess this is a good place to 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:23.760 be in a relationship. You did you have taken a 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:28.399 significant chunk of our money put it somewhere, no to 0:01:28.480 --> 0:01:29.080 benefit us. 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:30.720 It's insane it invested it. 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:31.399 Yeah. 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:34.040 So, but what I'm saying to you, if anything breaks 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:37.880 down with us today, I have zero way of accessing 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:40.240 that money. I have no idea where it is. And 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:41.400 yet trust it's. 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:43.200 Enough that somebody could start a new life. 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:47.640 Yes. Wait, didn't you see something this week where someone 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:50.480 stole money from someone to start a new life and 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:52.040 it was seven hundred and fifty dollars. 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:54.480 It was on one of those true crime shows I 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:54.960 was liking. 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:58.400 But yes, see, he left a note and I'm taking 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:00.800 seven hundred and fifty from the account start a new life. 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:02.600 I assume this is not what you're about to say. 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:04.280 The number one, and I assume he wasn't living in 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:04.760 New York. 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:06.560 This might have been Arkansas. 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:09.440 Actually, oh my goodness. BE kind of laughed about that, 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:11.960 but yes, full disclosure, that was a fun way to 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:14.800 say that, Yes, we actually do have trust because I 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:18.080 did obviously ask you beforehand and you said, fine, I 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:20.639 trust you. I did send you a link to the account. 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:22.680 It just must have expired. So yeah, you don't even 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:24.440 know what bank it is. You don't know how to 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:28.240 access it. You don't know the password or the username. 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:30.200 But I'm happy to share it with you once we're 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:30.960 done with this episode. 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:33.200 One last thing, is my name actually on that account? 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:33.640 Yes? 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:35.880 Okay, so I could. So I do have the right 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:36.240 to it. 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:38.000 I did say it was a joint account, and I 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:40.360 did put your information in it, your social Security number, 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:42.560 all of that. Yes, you do have a right to it. 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:44.600 If if we were to split, you would have a 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:47.079 legal remedy. You just I could just make it hard 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:47.320 for you. 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:50.840 Yeah, oh wow, okay, so I guess. So let's start 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:54.880 with that. If everybody's listening, if you if this were 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:58.120 done in your relationship with your significant other, would. 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:00.200 You trust it? Would you be okay? 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:02.560 If the person you are currently in a relationship with 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:06.760 took you all's joint money and put it somewhere, would 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:08.480 you just say okay, it's fine or be okay? 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:09.520 I don't know roes. 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:12.959 A lot of people say that's not good sound financial 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:15.799 advice or relationship advice moving. 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:17.520 Forward, I would say that it points to a level 0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:20.320 of trust in your relationship. And look, obviously you're joking. 0:03:20.360 --> 0:03:23.079 We have you can probably go find in your email 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:25.160 where the link is, like you couldn't find. 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:27.519 I'm not joking. I don't know where that money is. 0:03:27.520 --> 0:03:29.880 You're not joking, but I'm saying you're joking in the 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:31.600 fact that somehow I just took some money. 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:33.760 Oh yeah, I'm sorry. No, no, I'm sorry to make 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:36.520 sure sure. I didn't know it was coming off that way. No, no, 0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:38.880 she didn't steal money from me. No, no, no, no, that's not 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:39.400 what I'm saying. 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:43.760 Okay, thanks, just on the record, all right, No, but 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:47.400 listen to this. Does this surprise you? Fidelity did a 0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:50.640 study on finances and relationship and said forty five percent 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:55.040 of partners admit that they argue about money at least occasionally, 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:58.920 and the National Institutes of Health says forty percent of 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:01.280 couples regularly fight about money. 0:04:02.280 --> 0:04:02.840 That makes sense. 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:05.440 It does isn't always listed, but what are the number 0:04:05.440 --> 0:04:08.280 one things? Yeah, cause of divorce, money is always way 0:04:08.360 --> 0:04:11.040 up there. And you think about why people murder people money. 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:13.920 I mean, money is the source of pretty much most 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:16.560 problems in the world. Well, you think about it, so. 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:20.320 Financial arguments arguing over money. I would like to see 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:23.880 a breakdown of what those arguments are. You're spending too much, 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:26.360 you don't make enough, you're not working hard enough, you're 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:27.320 being irresponsible. 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:30.240 Yes, I think it's all of the disagreements on how 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.440 to make money, how to save money, and how to 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:36.359 spend money, and a lot of it is based on 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:39.520 how you were brought up, where your insecurities lie, and 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:41.599 all of this comes out. I mean, I just actually 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:44.200 started thinking about it. Money is the source of pretty 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:47.479 much all that's wrong in the world, so why wouldn't 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:50.920 that also be the source of so much conflict in relationships. 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:53.240 That does make a lot of sense. People are not 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:55.800 willing to just get divorced over financial problems. They're willing 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:59.719 to kill over it. We maybe have an unhealthy dose 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:02.039 of perspective on that, just because we do watch those 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:06.240 true crime stories and so often it is about money. 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:08.679 It's only sex and money. 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:10.920 I'm trying to think of a case with somebody murdered 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:15.000 just because they were mad I don't like you anymore? Then, Oh, 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.320 that was an insurance policy is taken out forty eight 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:18.680 hours before the death wait, but. 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:24.360 One in five primary decision makers admit to feeling resentful 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:28.800 about handling financial matters alone. I think what's primary like, 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:31.800 I guess it's the person who decides, hey, babe, I'll 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:35.040 pay the bills, and maybe you're maybe you're the money maker, 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:37.760 but you're a feeling that you have to make all 0:05:37.800 --> 0:05:40.120 of the decisions alone. It is so weird that we 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:45.120 don't communicate about money. We actually don't, and that is 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:50.200 a problem We don't generally, I don't say us we 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:54.080 don't talk about money a lot. We probably could have 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:58.400 better and more communication about money, about what we want 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:00.120 to do with it, how we want to spend it. 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:01.600 We don't plan. We don't. 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:04.200 Our problem, robe is that we are so like minded. 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:08.800 You and I just spend money the same way, and 0:06:08.839 --> 0:06:11.360 we don't have a problem with the other. If there's 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:13.440 anything you want to buy for the house, I get it. 0:06:13.480 --> 0:06:15.440 You don't need to, Okay that we both eat at 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:18.839 the same places, We even places we go to robes, 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.160 And yes, we have been blessed to be able to 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:23.279 go out to eat any time we want to anywhere. 0:06:23.279 --> 0:06:25.839 We want. I still got a problem with a thirty 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:26.400 dollars season. 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:29.560 You know, we were raised the same. We were raised 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:32.360 by parents who were like minded, who we didn't. We 0:06:32.360 --> 0:06:34.360 weren't raised with a lot of money. We were raised 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:38.080 with hard working parents who built themselves up from nothing. 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:40.360 And truly, that is how I would describe my parents. 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:42.440 I think that's how you would describe yours as well. 0:06:43.200 --> 0:06:45.719 But there's always a you hear about it. 0:06:45.760 --> 0:06:48.400 This a poor man's mindset, a poor man's mentality, no 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:49.520 matter how much you ever make. 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:51.400 And I'm that way. I want. I am tilled on. 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:52.800 I want a whore to give me all this. 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:54.680 I want to collect as much as I can, and 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:56.840 I don't like I'm trying to think of the most 0:06:56.880 --> 0:07:00.720 expensive thing. We don't splurge. We splurge on trashery. Yes, 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:03.400 but yeah, we sold food and travel. This is why 0:07:03.440 --> 0:07:05.600 we don't have to have a lot of financial discussions. 0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:07.239 We do need to talk about this money. You stold 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:09.440 that this somewhere that I don't know. But other than that, 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:09.960 we're good. 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:12.040 I would say that it's about the money that I 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:13.200 invested for our future. 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:15.360 There it is, but no, this was interesting. 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:17.720 There I read a bunch of articles about this because 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:19.520 I wanted to get a fuller scope of it. But 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:21.520 the New York Times had an article and I love that. 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:24.120 I want to meet and talk with this person. He 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:27.840 is a financial and relationship expert, so he is good 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:32.280 at both. And he gave couples four tips on how 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:35.360 to handle finances, and I love his first one. You 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:38.480 need to sit down with your partner and define what 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:43.679 a shared rich life is. Does that make sense? He says. 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:45.880 The most common problem when it comes to money in 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:50.040 relationship is the lack of a shared rich life vision. 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:54.320 A rich life to one person can mean something different 0:07:54.520 --> 0:07:56.960 to another. So a rich life could mean traveling two 0:07:56.960 --> 0:08:00.520 months a year. A rich life could mean being able 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:03.280 to buy beautiful things like a cashmere coat or an 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:07.520 expensive watch. A rich life could mean having the freedom 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:09.480 to take your kids to school every morning. A rich 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:11.880 life could mean something very different. So you should have 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:15.960 a shared rich life vision. How do we want to 0:08:16.120 --> 0:08:20.280 feel rich? Basically, how do we want to spend our money? 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:23.480 What are our splurges going to be? Is it travel? 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:26.920 Is it things? Is it food? Is it a big house? 0:08:27.280 --> 0:08:30.720 But if you're saying rich life, my life is full 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:34.680 and it's rich because of things that are a part 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:37.120 of it that have nothing to do with finances. That 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:38.400 is that one way of looking at it. 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:41.520 You could, but it's still specifically talking about how you 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:45.280 spend your money and why you spend your money, and 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:47.440 that is something that people don't sit down and have 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:52.600 a conversation about. And so he said, the first thing 0:08:52.640 --> 0:08:55.720 you do, you start with one good money talk. You 0:08:55.800 --> 0:08:59.280 actually sit down and say, let's talk about money. And 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:02.360 he said, it is shocking how many couples never have 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:07.719 a positive conversation about money. It's always a negative or 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:10.440 that you're suspicious, or you're resentful, or you don't like 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:14.240 how the other person spends. And it's decide to say, 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:17.400 we're going to have a positive conversation about money. And 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:19.199 I do like that idea that you have an intention 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:21.959 behind the conversation, that it's not going to go negative, 0:09:22.320 --> 0:09:25.000 that it's about a shared vision. And then he said, look, 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:27.800 if you don't understand or agree with a big or 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:30.960 a small purchase, the other one makes react with curiosity, 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:34.720 not disparagement. And this is true with every conflict, but 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:37.680 specifically about money. He gave an iced tea example. He said, 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:40.480 okay or It could be coffee. You might be annoyed 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:43.640 that your your partner goes out every day and buys a, 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:47.560 you know, an eight dollars ten dollars latte or iced 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:50.120 tea when they can easily make it at home. And 0:09:50.200 --> 0:09:52.599 so your one partner may say, I want to go 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:55.040 get an iced tea. It's my little treat, it's my 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:56.959 break in the middle of the day. And the other 0:09:57.040 --> 0:09:59.280 might be saying, when I grew up, we didn't get 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:01.719 iced tea. He made it at home, and so that 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:04.480 can be something he'sn't for twenty five years. You could 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:06.160 have a couple. He said. He's talked to someone who 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:09.760 still were arguing over ice tea after a twenty five 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.679 year marriage. But they're not actually arguing over the ice tea. 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:16.959 It's about how you spend your money. How you get 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:22.400 that rich life feeling based on how you use your money. Yeah, 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:24.199 you can see how that would happen, and then I 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:26.760 this is one of my favorite parts, he said. One 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:30.680 of the biggest mistakes people make is they don't they 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:33.520 don't know how to spend their money. They know how 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:35.880 to earn it, they know how to save it, but 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:40.000 the skill of spending money meaningfully. Most people do not 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:43.680 learn it, and I think that's so cool. They say, you, actually, 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:46.800 the point of money is to use it to live 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:49.560 that rich life he's talking about. And he said, yes, 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:52.079 you need to save, Yes you need to invest. Obviously, 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:54.280 I think we all know that. But part of what 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:58.240 having a rich life means is the skill of spending money. 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:01.880 So that's what he wants most people to work on 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:04.720 as a couple. How are we going to spend our money? 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:06.120 Not how we're going to save it, not how we're 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:07.760 going to invest it, how we're going to spend it. 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:11.360 Oh, and then the problem there in lies is that 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:16.600 the couple is oftentimes not he wants something, she wants something. 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:25.000 He wants a new trek bike. Yes, she wants to 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:27.480 go to Sepphora and get the latest whatever. I mean, 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:30.120 there's just what do you do? I guess this is 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:33.800 all a part of it. Where is that conversation when 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:37.080 you're disagreeing about how we spend our money together? 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:38.200 Don't we have to? 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:40.800 Is that a sense that you need to okay or 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:43.240 give permission to a certain degree. That's a terrible word, 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:45.880 but I'm saying, make sure the other person feels okay. 0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:47.360 With spending money every day on. 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:48.960 That ic if they want to do right, and I 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:51.040 just think there's going to be acknowledgement. This fills my 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:54.280 life up. This gives me joy, This makes me happy, 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.480 This relieves stress. And people might think, why would you 0:11:57.559 --> 0:11:59.160 pay someone to mo your lawn when you can do 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:02.079 it yourself? Is now I have time to relax, Like 0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:04.320 there are just but these are conversations that almost no 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:05.040 one has an eye. 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:06.520 Well, that's Robes, that's you talk about. 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:09.760 The reason you and I are on good footing is 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:11.120 because we were raised the same. 0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:12.320 That's true, because we were. 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:13.920 Brought up the same and have its so you don't 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:15.240 have to be worn with a silver spoon in your 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.200 mouth kind of thing. What you just brought up, Robes 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:22.240 is a fundamental difference that I think people can't neither 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:24.920 side are gonna it's ever going to come around to 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:28.120 the other side on the mowing the lawn thing. Yeah, 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:31.080 raised in such a way that I can do this, 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:33.360 Why don't need to pay somebody? That's money we can have. 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:36.440 Like people are firm in that. I'm not gonna change. 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:39.280 I was taught that way, yep. But then the other side, Robes, 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:42.600 it also makes sense that we make the money so 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:43.959 we don't have to do this, and. 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:45.560 Then we can spend more time together. 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.440 Maybe we could sit down at breakfast together instead of 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:50.040 you being out there for two hours. 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:50.240 On a Saturday. 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:51.840 Exactly what I'm saying. 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:54.360 Those two sides, are they ever going to get together 0:12:54.400 --> 0:12:58.400 and respect each other enough to make what compromise there? 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:00.560 I think relationship extis. People say yea, but you have 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:02.400 to have the conversation first, and you just have to 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:04.600 assign the meeting behind it and then understand where your 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:06.760 partner's coming from. Look, I think it's interesting you and 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:09.319 I with money. I have felt so that's one of 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:12.280 the things that I feel so in sync with you on. 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:14.240 The only thing that I'm not in sync with you 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:16.920 on is your refusal to rent a movie. 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:19.000 This is what Look. 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:21.480 Look, I'm a fall on that sword in this relationship 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:24.120 and that this will be the dumbest breakup in the 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:28.800 history of the world. It's the reason for divorce movie rental. 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:31.800 He wouldn't let me rent the Amazon Prime Video for 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:32.680 three ninety nine. 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:34.199 Okay, y'all are with me on this, right? 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:35.120 Just or not? 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:37.000 This is a quick aside. This won't take any more 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:41.920 than thirty seconds. There is an infinite amount of entertainment 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:47.640 available to stream. We pay for Amazon Prime, Netflix, Hbo Max, 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.280 I think three accounts even we just figured that out. 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:53.920 We got Hulu, we got everything available. Don't throw in 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:56.280 Apple TV Plus and ropes. How much a month are 0:13:56.280 --> 0:14:00.000 we spending on streaming services? Hundreds a lot, no doubt 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:02.960 out hundreds and hundreds of dollars. So it's time to 0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:05.480 sit down for movie night. And you're telling me those 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:08.720 hundreds of dollars. You want me to spend another twenty 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:12.280 four to ninety nine to purchase a movie because we 0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:15.199 can't find one that's available for free. 0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:16.840 That is just a principle. 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:19.120 It's a principle for you. But I would say if 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:21.560 that blockbuster movie came out that we didn't have the 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:24.040 chance to see at the theater, and I really want 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:26.360 to see it because it just came out for twenty 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:28.880 four to ninety nine from my couch. I want to 0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:32.840 be able to say, you know what, let's rent it. Okay, 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:34.480 HEJ says, no. 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:36.520 This is going to be the end of us. We 0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:37.680 were somewhere once. 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:40.280 I swear you made me buy something for like a 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.720 dollar ninety nine, and I was still uncomfortable. 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:47.000 You you are a Larry us. But this I just 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:48.920 I wanted to say, and then we'll move on after this. 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:51.040 But I thought this was a cool thing to think about. 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:54.560 He said that he feels like one of the biggest 0:14:54.760 --> 0:15:00.160 tragedies in life is to basically to end your life 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:03.320 with way too much money, never having built the skill 0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:06.680 of spending it, never having taken the moment to enjoy it. 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:09.240 And I did hear one person say, sometimes we all 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:12.120 because when we were raised a certain way, we forget 0:15:12.120 --> 0:15:14.280 that one of the best ways you can spend money, 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:16.160 one of the best ways you can bring joy to 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:20.040 your life by using money is buying time. And that 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:23.400 is outsourcing things that you were taught to do yourself, 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:26.400 whether it's cleaning your house or doing the yard work 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:30.640 or driving somewhere. If you can actually free up time 0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:33.800 for you to focus on your family, that actually is 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:36.880 a very joyful way to spend your money. 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:38.440 We should beat that drum more often. 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:40.960 That is, I think people don't realize how much you 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:45.640 do add to your life by getting someone to free 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:49.960 up your time to do something more meaningful. And yeah, 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:52.760 you're you're you're passing on you're paying somebody else, You're 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:53.840 you're employing somebody. 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:57.440 Everybody wins. I do. I do believe that. All right, 0:15:57.480 --> 0:15:59.400 when we come back, we're gonna have a little fun. 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:01.680 Because I mentioned this at the top, there was a 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:05.800 new survey of Americans that was conducted by Casino Guru 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:09.359 and apparently it was National Lottery Day on July seventeenth. 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.240 I didn't know this, but because of that, in honor that, 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:16.680 they put out this hilarious poll and the question is, 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:19.480 could you put a price on how much you love 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:22.320 your partner? We'll give you the results when we come back. 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.000 Welcome back everyone to this episode of Amy and TJ. 0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:38.440 We were talking about relationships and money, but there was 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:42.200 a funny adjacent story here, and I mentioned it was 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:44.960 by Casino Guru. There was a new survey ahead of 0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:47.080 National Lottery Day and they asked, could you put a 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:50.320 price on how much you love your partner? They said 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:53.080 most people said no, but they believe everyone's lying because 0:16:53.080 --> 0:16:56.000 at least twenty five percent admitted that there is a 0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:59.000 price where they would leave their lover. Is there a 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:01.800 price you would say? Someone said, I'll give you twenty 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:05.240 million dollars to leave Amy and never see her. 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:08.800 Again, it had to be much higher. 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:10.520 There is a price. 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:13.359 We let's not be ridiculous, offers me a one hundred 0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:18.960 billion dollars. We have a good last week though, and 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:21.119 you and I would immediately start plotting to find a 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:24.840 way to see each other again. But you know, even 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:27.440 after saying that, I don't, I don't think there is 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:30.520 a price. Yes, after saying that out loud, I mean 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:35.080 it seems ridiculous to pass up one hundred billion dollars. 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:36.680 I don't think there's a number. 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:39.040 The truth is, if you really love someone, there isn't 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:41.359 a number. And look, I thought this was a cool quote. 0:17:41.400 --> 0:17:45.320 Money is never just money, its identity, its security, and 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:48.960 maybe it's even a story. But a windfall of money 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:52.960 doesn't create unity. It reveals whether there was anything there 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:55.040 to begin with. So a lot of times people who 0:17:55.080 --> 0:17:58.240 win the lottery, you hear these stories where their marriages 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:01.600 fall apart, their life falls apart, because this money didn't 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:05.639 actually make their life better. It actually exposed so many 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:07.960 of their problems in their life to begin with. It's 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.120 so we all think we want to win the lottery, 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:13.560 but actually I mean I do, But you know that 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:16.280 there are so many stories of lottery winners where their 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:17.639 relationships fall apart. 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:22.000 Oh, lives fall apart. 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:22.240 Breed takes over? 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:23.840 It does man? 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:26.800 Yeah, so you should always or there's no amount of 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:29.120 money anybody asking them, so you can even take a beat. 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:31.320 Just like I played it out for a second. I said, well, 0:18:31.320 --> 0:18:32.919 I'm sure there is a number, but then after I 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:37.040