Speaker 1: Hey everyone, It's Jay Shaddy and I'm thrilled to announce
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Speaker 1: yours today. Your thoughts are not always true, Challenge them.
Speaker 1: Your thoughts are not always reality. Don't accept them at
Speaker 1: face value. When doubts appear, don't assume. Investigate when fear whispers,
Speaker 1: don't bow down. Look closer. When negativity rises, don't believe
Speaker 1: demand proof. Negativity thrives on blind acceptance. Negativity grows when
Speaker 1: you don't fight back. The number one health and wellness podcast,
Speaker 1: Jay Sety, Jay sheety Lyty. Hey everyone, Welcome back to
Speaker 1: On Purpose I'm so glad you joined me, And if
Speaker 1: you've not yet subscribed, click that button so that you
Speaker 1: never miss an episode. It's astounding to me the community
Speaker 1: that we're building together. And when you subscribe here, you're
Speaker 1: not only supporting this show, you're actually starting to support yourself.
Speaker 1: You're saying, this is a priority, this is important to me.
Speaker 1: I want to invest in my growth. Today's episode is
Speaker 1: all about what to do with those negative thoughts. If
Speaker 1: you're someone that experiences intrusive, negative, difficult thoughts, this episode
Speaker 1: is for you. If you're someone who walks out at
Speaker 1: a meeting and can't stop thinking about something negative that happened,
Speaker 1: or you were out with friends last week and you
Speaker 1: can't stop thinking about a moment or an experience that
Speaker 1: felt awkward or uncomfortable, this episode is for you. And
Speaker 1: if you're someone that finds yourself just caught in a
Speaker 1: negative spiral, this episode is for you. I'm going to
Speaker 1: give you a seven step method to actually master your
Speaker 1: thoughts and negativity. I want you to become unbeatable, undefeatable
Speaker 1: when it comes to negative thoughts. Because here's the reality.
Speaker 1: Negative thoughts will always arise, they'll always appear no one
Speaker 1: in this world can never have a negative thought. But
Speaker 1: you can make sure that a negative thought never controls you.
Speaker 1: You can win the battle and win the fight, and
Speaker 1: that's what we're doing today. Step one is you have
Speaker 1: to learn to recognize and acknowledge your thoughts. All of
Speaker 1: us have so many thoughts every single day, but we're
Speaker 1: not always sure about the systems. We're not always sure
Speaker 1: about the patterns. And I want to share a spiritual
Speaker 1: truth with you that is so important. You are not
Speaker 1: your thoughts. They're just visitors passing through your mind. You
Speaker 1: are not your thoughts. They're just noise, not the truth.
Speaker 1: You are not your thoughts. They're temporary, not permanent. Notice them,
Speaker 1: but don't let them define you. Name them, but don't
Speaker 1: give them your power. Watch them, but don't give them
Speaker 1: your identity. The moment you recognize them, they lose their grip.
Speaker 1: The moment you name them, they start to dissolve. The
Speaker 1: moment you see them clearly, you set yourself free. Negative
Speaker 1: thoughts are not facts. Awareness is your power. Negative thoughts
Speaker 1: are not your reality. Awareness is your protection. Negative thoughts
Speaker 1: are not who you are. Awareness is your path to
Speaker 1: emotional freedom. It starts with being aware of our thoughts,
Speaker 1: aware of which ones appear often, which ones don't appear enough,
Speaker 1: Aware of what we say when we first look in
Speaker 1: the mirror, Aware of what we say when things are
Speaker 1: not going well. How many of you are the quickest
Speaker 1: to judge yourself and critique yourself, but the first to
Speaker 1: congratulate someone else? Are you that person who when you
Speaker 1: make a mistake, you'll be really harsh and beat yourself up,
Speaker 1: but when someone else does, you're there to be empathetic
Speaker 1: and kind and compassionate. We're so quick to judge ourselves
Speaker 1: and so quick to celebrate others. It's so important we
Speaker 1: become aware of these patterns that we all experience so
Speaker 1: that we can begin this breakthrough. So I wanted to
Speaker 1: keep repeating that, and I want you to say it
Speaker 1: out loud. I am not my thoughts. You are not
Speaker 1: your thoughts. They're just temporary clouds floating across the sky
Speaker 1: of your mind. And neuroscience proves it simply labeling emotions.
Speaker 1: Naming them activates the prefrontal cortex and calms the amygdala,
Speaker 1: reducing emotional overwhelm. Think of negative thoughts like popa, bads, annoying, distracting,
Speaker 1: but not permanent or meaningful. You can just hover over
Speaker 1: them and press the cross and they're gone. The problem
Speaker 1: isn't that they appear, it's that we believe them. Now,
Speaker 1: imagine you're on your desktop or your laptop and all
Speaker 1: these screens of pop ups just start turning up. You
Speaker 1: only get lost in them when you start filling out
Speaker 1: the form, when you get tricked into clicking on one.
Speaker 1: We don't want to double click on a negative thought.
Speaker 1: We want to allow it to pass through, like a
Speaker 1: pop up or a cloud. There's a beautiful zen story
Speaker 1: which talks about two monks watching the sky. Dark clouds
Speaker 1: rolled in, and one monk cried, it's a bad omen.
Speaker 1: The other simply said, clouds come and go. The clouds
Speaker 1: didn't change, only their reaction did. Your thoughts are clouds?
Speaker 1: Notice them, Name them, but don't become them. Here's an
Speaker 1: experiment I want you to try, a habit, a practical
Speaker 1: tip that I want you to give a go today.
Speaker 1: When you notice a negative thought, pause and internally say
Speaker 1: I'm having a negative thought about Just naming it can
Speaker 1: weaken its hold. Stop saying you're a negative person, Stop
Speaker 1: saying that you have negative energy. Switch that to I
Speaker 1: am having a negative thought about naming it can weaken
Speaker 1: its hold. Naming it can loosen its grip, and naming
Speaker 1: it gives you back the power because you're now aware.
Speaker 1: Here's a habit. I want you to set three thought
Speaker 1: alert reminders morning, midday, evening, and when it goes off,
Speaker 1: pause for thirty seconds to scan your mind and jot
Speaker 1: down any negative patterns that you see. When you start
Speaker 1: to understand the patterns, you have the power. Remember that
Speaker 1: when you understand the patterns, you have the power because
Speaker 1: now when that pattern emerges, you can do step two.
Speaker 1: Step two is challenge your negative thoughts now that you
Speaker 1: know that there's a pattern. Let's say you always feel
Speaker 1: negative when you first wake up in the morning. Let's
Speaker 1: say you always feel negative just before going to bed.
Speaker 1: Maybe you feel negative just before you walk through the
Speaker 1: door of the office. Right we have certain times in
Speaker 1: our day when negativity is really loud. Now that we're
Speaker 1: aware of them, we have to learn to challenge them.
Speaker 1: Not in the moment, because that time we need to
Speaker 1: focus on work, focus on sleep, focus on waking up.
Speaker 1: We need to challenge them when we become aware of
Speaker 1: the pattern in our spare time. Right now, that's what
Speaker 1: you're doing. I want you to remember this. Your thoughts
Speaker 1: are not always accurate. Question them. Your thoughts are not
Speaker 1: always true, Challenge them. Your thoughts are not always reality.
Speaker 1: Don't accept them at face value. When doubts appear, don't assume.
Speaker 1: Investigate When fear whispers, don't bow down. Look closer. When
Speaker 1: negativity rises, don't believe demand proof. Negativity thrives on blind acceptance.
Speaker 1: Negativity grows when you don't fight back. Negativity wins when
Speaker 1: you don't question it. Dig deeper. Beneath fear you'll find clarity.
Speaker 1: Beneath doubt, you'll find truth. Beneath noise, you'll find your power.
Speaker 1: One thought challenged is one chain broken. One thought challenged
Speaker 1: is one burden lifted. One thought challenged is one step
Speaker 1: toward freedom. Not every thought you have is true. In fact,
Speaker 1: negativity loves to wear the mask of reality. Cognitive behavioral therapy,
Speaker 1: or CBT, has long shown that challenging irrational thoughts reduces
Speaker 1: anxiety and builds emotional strengths. Ask yourself, is this thought
Speaker 1: a fact or just a fear? It's really important to know.
Speaker 1: Is this thought a fact or is it just a fear?
Speaker 1: So the next time you catch yourself spiraling, ask yourself,
Speaker 1: what evidence do I have that this thought is true?
Speaker 1: What evidence do I have that, in fact, this thought
Speaker 1: is not true. You're almost becoming a lawyer in your
Speaker 1: own life, learning how to negotiate, learning how to persuade,
Speaker 1: learning how to build and stand up for an argument, because,
Speaker 1: guess what, the lawyer in your mind that critique is
Speaker 1: winning every case. But that's because we don't know how
Speaker 1: to challenge our thought. If you think that lawyer in
Speaker 1: your head is on your side, you lose every case,
Speaker 1: you lose every battle. But when you realize that you're
Speaker 1: not your thoughts, you're allowed to have a defense, You're
Speaker 1: allowed to have a case. That's when you recognize that
Speaker 1: you don't need to accept a thought that has no evidence,
Speaker 1: and what you want to do is present the counter
Speaker 1: evidence to your mind systematically. Here's a daily habit to
Speaker 1: make it easy. Create a daily thought challenge. Each evening,
Speaker 1: write one negative thought from your day, challenge it with evidence,
Speaker 1: and rewrite it into a more balanced, empowering statement. If
Speaker 1: you go to bed that way, you'll wake up with
Speaker 1: more energy and naturally feel disconnected from the weight of
Speaker 1: that thought. I couldn't be more excited to share something
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Speaker 1: sure you use the code on purpose. Step number three
Speaker 1: is reframe your thoughts. My favorite quote is from Wayne Dyer.
Speaker 1: He said, when we change the way we look at things,
Speaker 1: the things we look at change. Your thoughts are a story.
Speaker 1: But here's the best part. You can write the next
Speaker 1: line right now. Actually, you get to choose the title
Speaker 1: of the next chat right now. You get to write
Speaker 1: the next few pages right now. When you change the story,
Speaker 1: you change the feeling. When you change the perspective, you
Speaker 1: change the power. When you change the lens, you change
Speaker 1: your life. Negative stories exhaust you. Positive reframing energizes you.
Speaker 1: Negative thinking shrinks you. Positive reframing frees you. Small changes
Speaker 1: in your viewpoint can lead to big changes in your vision.
Speaker 1: Let me give you an example. You're running late to
Speaker 1: work because someone cut you off in traffic. You get
Speaker 1: to work, and now you're telling everyone that story of
Speaker 1: that person who cut you off in traffic. What you
Speaker 1: forgot to mention was the person who smiled at you.
Speaker 1: What you forgot to mention was the fact that you
Speaker 1: still got to work on time. What you forgot to
Speaker 1: mention is that you survived. Nothing bad happened. The other
Speaker 1: side of the story was makes you feel rushed, makes
Speaker 1: you feel overwhelmed, makes you feel stressed. Just reframing, it's
Speaker 1: not that it didn't happen, it's that you're still here right.
Speaker 1: Positivity doesn't mean I ignore things that happened. It means
Speaker 1: I see everything about what happened, the fact that I'm alive,
Speaker 1: the fact that I'm here, the fact that I'm on time,
Speaker 1: the fact that I'm smiling at someone someone smiling at me,
Speaker 1: that simple connection. How you frame an experience changes everything
Speaker 1: about how you feel it. Let me say that again.
Speaker 1: How you frame an experience changes everything about how you
Speaker 1: feel it. If you frame and experience as negative, you
Speaker 1: feel bad. If you frame an experience as useful, insightful, powerful, fulfilling,
Speaker 1: it transforms you. Research shows that reframing negative experiences in
Speaker 1: prove resilience and overall wellbeing. It's not denial, its conscious
Speaker 1: perspective shifting. Two people can face the same storm one
Speaker 1: sees destruction, the other sees renewal. I really love this
Speaker 1: idea that two people can experience the same thing but
Speaker 1: react to it differently. It is up to you to
Speaker 1: choose to reframe a narrative, reframe and experience, and it's
Speaker 1: all about practice. The first time you try and do
Speaker 1: this is going to be really hard. By day five,
Speaker 1: it's going to be easier. By month five, you're going
Speaker 1: to be flying and flowing. You will be unbeatable. A
Speaker 1: negative experience or a negative thought won't be able to
Speaker 1: control you because you've practiced reframing an experience. That person
Speaker 1: who you feel doesn't care about you, they just lost
Speaker 1: a great friend. That person you feel doesn't that tell
Speaker 1: you they just disconnected from a gift in their life.
Speaker 1: We have to reframe and understand differently the experiences we
Speaker 1: go through. Here's an experiment today, when a small inconvenience happens,
Speaker 1: pause and reframe. How could this actually be working for me?
Speaker 1: And here's a daily habit. Start a reframing jar. Each night,
Speaker 1: write down one negative event and intentionally reframe it in
Speaker 1: a neutral or positive light before placing it in the jar.
Speaker 1: What's your mindset shift over weeks, you'll literally feel yourself
Speaker 1: rewiring your brain to notice different things. Our day feels
Speaker 1: bad because we notice the bad more than the good.
Speaker 1: Our day feels hard because we notice the difficult more
Speaker 1: than our determination. Our day feels long because we notice
Speaker 1: the hardship more more than we do the beautiful relationships.
Speaker 1: Shift your perspective. Step four is practicing mindfulness and meditation.
Speaker 1: Take a moment to pause and breathe deeply right now.
Speaker 1: Mindfulness means simply noticing your present experience, let thoughts pass
Speaker 1: without holding onto them. Pay attention to your breath. It's
Speaker 1: your anchor. Meditation doesn't require perfection, just consistency. Practice letting
Speaker 1: go of anything you're holding onto. Quieting your mind, even
Speaker 1: briefly can reset your entire day. It's the oldest wisdom
Speaker 1: in the book. But taking a few breaths can reset
Speaker 1: you when you're nervous, when you're anxious, when you're stressed,
Speaker 1: when you have negative thoughts. Your breath is faster, shallower.
Speaker 1: As soon as you breathe, you make it deeper slower,
Speaker 1: and you regain your power when you're moving fast. Think
Speaker 1: about it. If you're driving a car really fast and
Speaker 1: something comes out in front of you. It's really hard
Speaker 1: to maneuver around it. Right, So when a negative thought
Speaker 1: comes at you, if you're already moving really fast, chances
Speaker 1: are you're going to collide. And that's what we experience
Speaker 1: every day, collisions with our negative thoughts. But imagine if
Speaker 1: you are driving a little bit slower, you could slow
Speaker 1: down just ahead of that disruption and swerve comfortably, coolly, calmly.
Speaker 1: That's what regular mindfulness practice allows you to do. Mindfulness
Speaker 1: is about being where you are, not racing ahead, not
Speaker 1: clinging to the past. Research from cabots In shows that
Speaker 1: even short, consistent mindfulness practices can reduce anxiety and depression significantly.
Speaker 1: Mindfulness is like clearing a cluttered desk. You create space
Speaker 1: for clarity. So here's the experiment I want you to do.
Speaker 1: Set a five minute timer today, Focus only on your
Speaker 1: breathing when thoughts wonder gently, return attention to your breath
Speaker 1: without judgment, And for every one hour, stop and breathe
Speaker 1: deeply for one minute and watch how you start getting
Speaker 1: the pace to actually maneuver and shift. Number five is
Speaker 1: something we don't do enough of engaging in joyful activities,
Speaker 1: you can't always avoid difficult emotions, but you can decide
Speaker 1: how long they stay. You can't choose every result, but
Speaker 1: you can choose what you learn from it. You can't
Speaker 1: always avoid setbacks, but you can decide how they shape you.
Speaker 1: You can't choose others' perceptions, but you can choose your
Speaker 1: own self worth. You can't erase past experiences, but you
Speaker 1: can choose how they influence your future. You can't control
Speaker 1: the world's chaos, but you can choose to create your
Speaker 1: own peace. Studies show that regular engagement in enjoyable activities
Speaker 1: lowers depression significantly. Doing what you love is an indulgence.
Speaker 1: It's essential maintenance for your mental health. So here's what
Speaker 1: I want you to do today. Spend at least fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes doing something you genuinely love, having your coffee, reading, gardening, dancing, painting,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, and notice your mood before and after.
Speaker 1: Schedule a daily joy episode. Block out twenty minutes each
Speaker 1: morning or evening just for an activity that nourishes you right.
Speaker 1: Think of it like a joy meeting or a joy episode.
Speaker 1: Being able to do that allows you to tap into
Speaker 1: joy and reduce stress. This is such an important part
Speaker 1: because ultimately negativity and positivity are both contagious. Have you
Speaker 1: ever met someone and you just feel positive. Have you
Speaker 1: ever done an activity and you just feel positive, Well,
Speaker 1: you can be that person. That person wasn't born that way.
Speaker 1: They're practicing, they're developing that skill, and you can as well.
Speaker 1: Step number six is looking after your temple your body.
Speaker 1: Your body isn't separate from your mind. It's the vehicle
Speaker 1: that carries your spirit. Regular exercise reduces depressive symptoms by
Speaker 1: up to thirty percent. Hydration boost brain function, sleep resets
Speaker 1: your emotional baseline. It's simple, but it's foundational. A Zen
Speaker 1: student once asked his master, how do I attain enlightenment?
Speaker 1: The master applied when hungry, eat, when tired, sleep, when sad, move.
Speaker 1: Caring for the body wasn't secondary, it was sacred. I
Speaker 1: also love this idea because when we're out of food,
Speaker 1: we eat. When you're out of growth, you choose to grow.
Speaker 1: So today's experiment is go for a twenty minute walk
Speaker 1: today for a gentle stretch, and pay attention to how
Speaker 1: your mind feels afterwards. If you want to boost your day,
Speaker 1: it's as simple as this. Seven hours of sleep, eight
Speaker 1: glasses of water, and fifteen minutes of movement, go on
Speaker 1: that walk, get outdoors and watch how your mood and
Speaker 1: mind change. And finally, number seven is limiting our exposure
Speaker 1: to negativity. I was recently on a podcast and I
Speaker 1: was talking to Tinks and we were talking about this
Speaker 1: idea of how the challenge today is our news finds us.
Speaker 1: We don't find our news. Before people would open up
Speaker 1: the newspaper to see what the news was. Today, you're
Speaker 1: on social media trying to figure out what your friends
Speaker 1: are doing, and you're reading about something happening halfway across
Speaker 1: the world. You're about to send a message to a
Speaker 1: family member and someone sends something in the group chat
Speaker 1: which is about a news update. We no longer find
Speaker 1: our news. Before you were primed, you were prepared. I'm
Speaker 1: going to look at the news to see what's happening
Speaker 1: in the world today. You're trying to connect, you're trying
Speaker 1: to show empathy, you're trying to love, you're trying to
Speaker 1: have fun, and you're finding the news at that time.
Speaker 1: It's extremely confusing and draining for your mind, which is
Speaker 1: looking for love and being overloaded by other information. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying the news is not important. I'm saying
Speaker 1: It's important to be informed, but our mind is better
Speaker 1: when we've chosen what we're doing. If your mind knows
Speaker 1: you're watching the news, you're about to pick up a newspaper,
Speaker 1: or about to read a news site or a newsletter
Speaker 1: that you love, the mind is prepared and primed. You
Speaker 1: can't avoid negativity, but you can look for the good
Speaker 1: around you. You can't stop people from criticizing you, but
Speaker 1: you can decide which feedback matters. You can't erase stress completely,
Speaker 1: but you can find healthy ways to handle it. You
Speaker 1: can't avoid every bad day, but you can appreciate the
Speaker 1: good ones. You can't stop difficult moments, but you can
Speaker 1: decide what they teach you. You can't control others attitudes,
Speaker 1: but you can protect your own mood. You can't always
Speaker 1: avoid negativity, but you can choose how much you allow.
Speaker 1: In study show fifty six percent of adults report higher
Speaker 1: stress due to constant news and social media consumption. Remember
Speaker 1: you are what you consume. It's important to create a
Speaker 1: digital diet, a digital fast, and a digital detox, and
Speaker 1: a digital plan to support the mind that you want.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite zen stories is when a student
Speaker 1: asked their teacher, how do you remain at peace despite
Speaker 1: the chaos of the world. The Master smiled and said,
Speaker 1: I simply don't argue with reality. Most of our tension
Speaker 1: is created because we want things to be different, when
Speaker 1: in reality, when we accept what's happening and we work
Speaker 1: to make them different, we improve. When you want something
Speaker 1: to be different and when you work for something to
Speaker 1: be different, it's two different experiences. When you work to
Speaker 1: make something different, you feel closer to the solution, so
Speaker 1: the problem feels smaller, whereas when you want something to
Speaker 1: be different, standing away from the problem, and it feels
Speaker 1: bigger and uncontrollable. If you've been really overwhelmed recently, take
Speaker 1: a twenty four hour media detox today, no news, no
Speaker 1: social media, no negativity, and observe how your mind feels
Speaker 1: and build a positivity shield. Limit news to one short
Speaker 1: daily check that you define, look at the news at
Speaker 1: one time in the day. Mute negative accounts, and deliberately
Speaker 1: subscribe to uplifting podcasts or inspiring content, and unsubscribe from
Speaker 1: the others. I hope this seventh step ritual and method
Speaker 1: creates less negative thoughts and more importantly, control over the
Speaker 1: ones that do get through to you. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for listening. Make sure you've subscribed, Send this episode
Speaker 1: to someone who'll appreciate it, and I'll see you on
Speaker 1: the next one. If you love this episode, you'll enjoy
Speaker 1: my inter you with doctor Daniel Aman on how to
Speaker 1: change your life by changing your brain. If we want
Speaker 1: a healthy mind, it actually starts with a healthy brain.
Speaker 1: You know, I've had the blessing or the curse to
Speaker 1: scan over a thousand convicted felons and over one hundred murderers,
Speaker 1: and their brains are very damaged.