WEBVTT - I'll Buy My Own Lotion

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<v Speaker 1>No thanks, I'll buy my own lotion. It's one more Thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm strong and getty.

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<v Speaker 2>One more Thing an odd.

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<v Speaker 1>Tale to tell before the end of the One More

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<v Speaker 1>Thing podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>But first, I can't believe we didn't get to this.

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<v Speaker 2>There was so much great stuff on the radio show today.

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<v Speaker 2>We just we left out a lot of really really

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<v Speaker 2>worthy material, including this.

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<v Speaker 1>We used to say all the time, a six pounds

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<v Speaker 1>show and a five pound bag, that's what we are.

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<v Speaker 2>Well we had like eight and a half pounds today.

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<v Speaker 2>But Jon Stewart the other day, talking about the Hunter

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<v Speaker 2>Biden Pardon, had all sorts of great comedic riffs. He

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<v Speaker 2>was as cynical as you ought to be about this.

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<v Speaker 2>But one of my favorite aspects of it is he

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<v Speaker 2>featured Jamie Raskin. Was he treated for.

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<v Speaker 1>Cancer or something at one point?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, because he was wearing a bandana over his

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<v Speaker 2>head a lot. He's evidently doing better now and he's

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<v Speaker 2>got his hair back. But he is a very eloquent,

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<v Speaker 2>utterly dishonest, hardcore or partisan on the left. But he's

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<v Speaker 2>very very bright, there's no doubting that. And John Stewart,

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<v Speaker 2>I think he sets this up pretty well. But he's

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<v Speaker 2>talking about Jamie Raskin.

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<v Speaker 1>This is what Biden's decision has done.

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<v Speaker 3>Look how confident and eloquent our Democratic representatives were back

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<v Speaker 3>when they thought they had the moral high ground on

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<v Speaker 3>this issue.

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<v Speaker 4>I've not heard a single Democrat anywhere in the country

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<v Speaker 4>cry fraud, cry fixed, cry rigged, a cry kangaroo court.

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<v Speaker 4>You don't hear a single peep out of any Democrats

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<v Speaker 4>saying that.

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<v Speaker 1>Why we believe in the rule of law.

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<v Speaker 3>And now look at what even he one of the

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<v Speaker 3>most verbally dexterous attorneys we have on Capitol Hill, has

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<v Speaker 3>been reduced to.

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<v Speaker 5>Do you think President Biden should pardon Hunter? Biden, So

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<v Speaker 5>there are lots of claims of political prosecution. Was Hunter

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<v Speaker 5>politically well, I mean, obviously that's a judicial point, and

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<v Speaker 5>then you've got to look at what the evidence is

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<v Speaker 5>and I don't know enough. I mean again, that is

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<v Speaker 5>a unilateral executive power, you know power that.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh and should he use it?

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<v Speaker 5>Well, you know, the power exists for the president to

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<v Speaker 5>show mercy for people.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I mean we have an executive and we

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<v Speaker 3>have a judicial and then a legislative and.

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<v Speaker 2>Then smoke bomb of me. That was that was that

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<v Speaker 2>girl on CNN yeah, whoever she is was that? But

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<v Speaker 2>what's her face? I can't remember her name because it

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't matter. She'll be unemployed next week. But uh to

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<v Speaker 2>her credits. I wish more interviewers would do that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, should he use it?

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<v Speaker 2>No?

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<v Speaker 3>No?

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<v Speaker 2>No? But could he? Should he just hold him to

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<v Speaker 2>make him answer the damn question?

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<v Speaker 1>Right?

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<v Speaker 2>That was great?

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<v Speaker 1>He yelled, smoke mom and jumps under his desk. That's hilarious.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it.

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<v Speaker 1>I found this funny yesterday. I'll see what you think

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<v Speaker 1>of it. So I live in a town where they

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<v Speaker 1>do this sort of thing regularly. It we're kind of

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<v Speaker 1>a communist town, and you know, there's a tiny bit

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<v Speaker 1>of truth to the whole Tim Walls boy, I almost

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't come up with the name when he said one

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<v Speaker 1>man's socialism is another man's neighbor Leinists or whatever, And

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<v Speaker 1>there's a tiny bit of truth to that. But in

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<v Speaker 1>my town, it's pretty common to like put out a

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<v Speaker 1>giant bucket of books and say, you know, take one,

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<v Speaker 1>leave one or whatever. Just that kind of stuff is

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<v Speaker 1>all over the place, dog food or or bags for

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<v Speaker 1>picking up dog poop or just things like that. And

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<v Speaker 1>then the idea is that we'll all share together because

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<v Speaker 1>we're all working together. But this is the funniest one.

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<v Speaker 2>Just don't enforce it at the government's gunpoint place.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah, No, I'm fine with it. In fact,

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's really nice. But somebody had put out

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<v Speaker 1>a box full of just like crap they had and

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<v Speaker 1>a sign that said free, and it was in the

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<v Speaker 1>lawn as we're walking to the gym, and I stopped

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<v Speaker 1>and took a picture of it. Now, I was looking

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<v Speaker 1>over the stuff because I it's funny the way human

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<v Speaker 1>beings are built. I like, couldn't help myself but look

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<v Speaker 1>through to see if there's anything I need there. Even

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<v Speaker 1>though I can go out and buy any of these

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<v Speaker 1>things if I wanted to, it's just it's a human

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<v Speaker 1>nature thing. I guess. Like there was a can of

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<v Speaker 1>break fluid, like a half a can of break fluid, okay, ah,

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<v Speaker 1>you never know. Mineral oil, which is also for your

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<v Speaker 1>break lines, okay, a can of for breeze okay, one of.

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<v Speaker 2>Those just set the.

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<v Speaker 1>Stuff you spray around your house to make all of that, okay, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I can see. Here's a some canned goods, like some

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<v Speaker 1>uh canned raspberries and canned beans of some sort.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, there's three m I could whip up Grandma's old

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<v Speaker 2>cranberries and beans recipe.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, and again, you don't know how old this stuff is.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, could you look at the dat or what

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<v Speaker 1>it's been doing in terms of heat and cold? This

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<v Speaker 1>is in your garage for five summers, or.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a little bulgy, But what the heck? How bad

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<v Speaker 2>could it be?

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<v Speaker 1>Three cans of A and W root beer pretty dented

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<v Speaker 1>and dirty. You'd definitely want to wash these off before

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<v Speaker 1>you open them up. I mean that you're talking about

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<v Speaker 1>thirty cents worth of material here. But you know, again, as.

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<v Speaker 2>Sins go, this is very, very minor. But if I

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<v Speaker 2>have three cans of Sodi pop, I don't want how

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<v Speaker 2>instead of just pouring them down the sink and putting

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<v Speaker 2>the cans in the recycling, do you decide? You know

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<v Speaker 2>what I'll do. I'll put these out front in case

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<v Speaker 2>there's somebody thirsty for dent toit. A and W and

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<v Speaker 2>otherwise can't. I don't. I would never have that impulse.

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<v Speaker 6>They probably figured some homeless person was gonna come by

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<v Speaker 6>and just swipe the whole box and get rid of

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<v Speaker 6>their crap.

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<v Speaker 1>Is what I'm thinking. Yeah, this is not a neighborhood

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<v Speaker 1>where a homeless person's gonna come by, So maybe I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. Uh, A container, half used container of tumbs?

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<v Speaker 2>What he feels better? Okay, he wants to share with

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<v Speaker 2>his fellow human being. Maybe you drink the ANW rope

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<v Speaker 2>beer too fast? O my stomach?

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<v Speaker 6>Don't you keep the thumbs around just in case though,

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<v Speaker 6>like you're going, I mean, you're gonna get a stomach

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<v Speaker 6>ache again.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I don't want to stick my fingers into a

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<v Speaker 1>container of tumbs that who knows who has had their

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<v Speaker 1>hands in before? I mean, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe maybe the raspberries and beans aren't sitting well, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know right, was it raspberries or cranberries? Raspberry, raspberries

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<v Speaker 2>and beans?

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe the A ANDW root beer had gotten one hundred

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<v Speaker 1>and ten degrees than twenty nine degrees? Too many seasons

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<v Speaker 1>in a row, and I need the tumbs.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a little congealed.

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<v Speaker 1>A deck of playing cards, which I almost grabbed. I thought,

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<v Speaker 1>what am I? Where am I in my life that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm doing this?

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<v Speaker 2>What was the theme was it? Was it like a

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<v Speaker 2>souvenirs or was it just like your classic.

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<v Speaker 1>Just like your regular playing cards, which is what got

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<v Speaker 1>my attention. An empty glasses case. Anybody who wears glasses

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<v Speaker 1>or some glasses at all, has like a million of

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<v Speaker 1>these laying around.

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<v Speaker 2>How many would you like? Write us a mail bag

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<v Speaker 2>and arm between the whole team. I'm sure there's quit

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<v Speaker 2>amphew Lee's. We could open them a store.

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<v Speaker 1>But there's like a whole bunch of theirs for Breeze,

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<v Speaker 1>there's Lysol. I mean, I don't know what they're doing

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<v Speaker 1>in their house, but there's like five different brands of

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<v Speaker 1>spraying around to try to make your house not smell

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<v Speaker 1>so bad. I don't know what their deal is. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>the raspberries give you the winds. Yeah, I was thinking, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly. But finally they took a half a roll

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<v Speaker 2>of tombs and felt a lot better and thought, we

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<v Speaker 2>don't need all this deodorizer anymore apparently.

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<v Speaker 1>But though, for whatever reason, the one that grossed me

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<v Speaker 1>and my son out the most was this a third

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<v Speaker 1>bottle of lotion.

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<v Speaker 6>Ah Okay, We're both like, oh my god, the case

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<v Speaker 6>miss item Okay, P Diddy, I just I don't want.

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<v Speaker 1>Somebody else's two thirds used bottle of lotion. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know why I find that so gross, But it's just

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<v Speaker 1>something weirdly off putting about that to me.

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<v Speaker 2>Did this person's bean eaten root beer drinking upset stomach

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<v Speaker 2>to smelling dry skinned? Room card enthusiast obviously did they?

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<v Speaker 2>Did they move out or what they? You know, this lotion,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't use this.

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<v Speaker 1>They only took their glasses. Hilarious. Well, when I'm playing

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<v Speaker 1>cards and eating raspberries, I get the exuma, so you

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<v Speaker 1>know how it is.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just around my skin, dry is out.

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<v Speaker 1>Cause me to flatulate, in which case I need all

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<v Speaker 1>the f breeze all I saw or four other kinds

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<v Speaker 1>of products I'd barely ever heard of. Wow, I just

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<v Speaker 1>thought that was a fun assortment of things.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, random, And yet oh it's a person who does

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<v Speaker 2>their own breaks.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah exactly. I hadn't even zoomed in

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<v Speaker 1>on this one. Can Progresso New England clam chowder. Now

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<v Speaker 1>that's something you want to know where that can's been

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<v Speaker 1>before you open that up.

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<v Speaker 2>Anything with seafood in it. I check the Best by

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<v Speaker 2>day just you know, I'm not paranoid, but the idea

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<v Speaker 2>that yeah, yeah, the seafood's been in your garage for

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<v Speaker 2>three years or whatever. Yeah, or just you left it

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<v Speaker 2>in your car for an afternoon and it heat it

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<v Speaker 2>up to a No. No, I'm gonna need those tombs.

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<v Speaker 2>Glad I grabbed them.

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<v Speaker 1>And this is not uh, I don't want to sound

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<v Speaker 1>like a certain sort of person. It's just because of

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<v Speaker 1>real estate in California, everything like that, what everything costs.

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<v Speaker 1>This is in the yard of a house that probably

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<v Speaker 1>costs one point four million dollars.

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<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 1>Sure somebody else's old lotion.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 6>I don't know that I've ever thought about that bothering

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<v Speaker 6>me before, but that really grosses me out.

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<v Speaker 2>Well well, well, yeah, I mean the potential for horror

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<v Speaker 2>is a tad high. I mean, you're you're rubbing it

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<v Speaker 2>on your skin, But now tell me.

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<v Speaker 1>That your shade depending on the sort of person you are.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow, that's a that's a silence of the Lamb.

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<v Speaker 1>Texas chainsaw massacre. Yeah, exactly, with the weird old clam

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<v Speaker 1>chowder and dexa card.

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<v Speaker 2>Was it the sort of lotion you would like I

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<v Speaker 2>have to shake out and your hand or was it

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<v Speaker 2>a pump?

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<v Speaker 1>It was the tube like you would squeeze it out

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<v Speaker 1>on your hand. Oh, and it would have some remnants

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<v Speaker 1>around the top of whoever used it before.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't remnants, please. You know, I'm picturing this person,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe as a carnie, and they used to know they

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<v Speaker 2>used to break the break fluid to you know, oil

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<v Speaker 2>up the tilta whirl or something.

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<v Speaker 1>Pieced it together. Colombo, Well, I guess that's it. That

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<v Speaker 1>was funny. Get card playing.