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Speaker 1: What's up, Bachelor Happy Hour listeners. I'm back again this week,

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Speaker 1: riding solo. Michelle is still taking some time off and

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Speaker 1: focusing on herself and hopefully doing some self care after

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Speaker 1: all of the craziness that has been transpiring these last

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks. So it's just gonna be me today.

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Speaker 1: But I know I asked this last week, please give

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Speaker 1: Michelle some grace, some patience, some support, some kindness, and

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Speaker 1: whenever she is ready to join us back on Happy Hours,

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Speaker 1: she will be welcomed with open arms. But like I said,

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Speaker 1: you just get me today. So I have to say

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Speaker 1: as weird of an episode as it's going to be

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Speaker 1: in the beginning, just to catch y'all up in chit

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Speaker 1: chat for a bit. I do have a very exciting

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Speaker 1: episode planned because we're talking to somebody who I have

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Speaker 1: personally have been wanting to get on this podcast for

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Speaker 1: quite a while. I have followed her on Instagram forever.

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Speaker 1: She's absolutely incredible. She's somebody who is really doing their

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Speaker 1: part to create a better future for the next generation

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Speaker 1: of women. So shortly we will have Sarah Nicole Landry

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Speaker 1: aka the Bird's Papaya joining us, and I can't wait.

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Speaker 1: To hear all about her journey and what led her

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Speaker 1: into the world of body confidence advocacy. But before we

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Speaker 1: get into it with her, like I said, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: chit chat, You're going to listen to my voice for

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Speaker 1: some time, So I apologize in advance, but you know

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Speaker 1: I'm doing my best here and Happy Hour writing solo.

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Speaker 1: One thing that maybe some of you have picked up

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Speaker 1: on social media, if you've been on the Bachelor Happy

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Speaker 1: Hour Instagram page or anywhere else, is it's been a

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Speaker 1: lot this past week in the world of Bachelor Nation

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Speaker 1: and in breakups in general. And I personally saw a

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Speaker 1: lot of trolls on Instagram just demanding information from Michelle

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Speaker 1: and from Nate about if they're going to give any

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Speaker 1: comments or address the entire split, and just wanting details.

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Speaker 1: And like I said last week in this podcast, they

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Speaker 1: need some time. Going through a breakup in general is

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Speaker 1: one of the most difficult things, and it's never easy.

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Speaker 1: If you've gone through a breakup, you know that heartache

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Speaker 1: is one of the worst things to feel. Add on

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Speaker 1: the fact that Michelle and Nate are in the public

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Speaker 1: eye and have to see and hear things on social

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Speaker 1: media and with people reaching out to them. They also

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Speaker 1: are probably dealing with a ton of press inquiries and

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Speaker 1: articles being written about them, And I know from experience

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Speaker 1: when I was going through my last breakup, it was

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Speaker 1: so hard to endure because literally every week I would

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Speaker 1: have outlets and journalists and media platforms reaching out consistently

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Speaker 1: demanding answers, asking for a comment, saying they had some

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Speaker 1: sort of bit of information that they were going to

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Speaker 1: leak and they wanted to hear from me or my

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Speaker 1: friends or family, so they would email me, they would

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Speaker 1: DM me, they would reach out to friends and family,

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Speaker 1: and I can imagine that same thing is happening to

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Speaker 1: Nate and Michelle and their friends and family, and it

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Speaker 1: is a lot to handle, and it's not something either

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Speaker 1: of them probably ever expected to have to deal within

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Speaker 1: their lives. So once again, please give Michelle and Nate

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Speaker 1: some time and some space and some patients to just

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Speaker 1: process this all and stop demanding answers because they're not

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Speaker 1: ready to give it to anyone, and so just back

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Speaker 1: off a little bit. I feel like my mom a

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Speaker 1: bear and my just I don't even know what to say.

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Speaker 1: My mom a bear is just coming out for Michelle

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Speaker 1: right now, and you know all we can do is

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Speaker 1: support them through this time. I don't wish what they're

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Speaker 1: going through on anyone. And so just if you're on

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Speaker 1: social media and want to type out something or ask

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Speaker 1: them questions or think that you deserve answers, you don't,

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Speaker 1: so back off in some happier, more lighthearted news. If

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Speaker 1: you paid attention last week to the podcast when Thomas

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Speaker 1: was on, you'll know that it was his thirtieth birthday

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Speaker 1: and we had a great time over the weekend just

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Speaker 1: celebrating with his friends and family. We love a good

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Speaker 1: themed party, and because he was born in ninety two,

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Speaker 1: I had to go all out and throw him a

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Speaker 1: nineties themed birthday bash, which was an absolute blast. It

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Speaker 1: was like bringing me back to nineteen ninety eight, living

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Speaker 1: like in my jelly shoes with my Dunker Ruse and

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Speaker 1: my three d Doritos. It was so much fun. So

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Speaker 1: if anyone wants to plan a nineties themed birthday, please

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Speaker 1: dam me because I have a ton of snacks and

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Speaker 1: leftover decorations and extra outfits from the nineties, So let

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Speaker 1: me know and I will send them your away because

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Speaker 1: I do not want to keep it all here. Other

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Speaker 1: than that, that's mainly all that's been going on in

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Speaker 1: this world. Hopefully next week Michelle will be back again.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I just really want to give her

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Speaker 1: some time in space to heal, and whenever she's ready,

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Speaker 1: we are here with open arms. But in the meantime,

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Speaker 1: I think we should just bring on our guests because

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Speaker 1: she's somebody I'm so excited for. She is not only

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Speaker 1: a mom, but a huge, huge advocate for body confidence.

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Speaker 1: She's a speaker, a writer, an occasional model, and she's

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Speaker 1: even host of her own podcast called The Papaya Podcast.

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Speaker 1: So please everyone, welcome Sarah Nicole Landry aka the Bird's Papaya.

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Speaker 1: All right, Sarah, welcome to Bauch her Happy Hour. It

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Speaker 1: is so great to finally meet you, and I have

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Speaker 1: to disclose that you are somebody I have been dying

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Speaker 1: to have on the podcast for quite some time. No wait,

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Speaker 1: this is like a career high for me right now,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm so happy to be here. It's a career

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Speaker 1: high for me. So just to catch everyone up, how

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Speaker 1: are you? I am good. I have switched up my

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Speaker 1: life schedule and I feel like a happy human in

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Speaker 1: the last two days because I actually podcasting with somebody

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Speaker 1: who was like, if you don't schedule yourself care, you

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Speaker 1: won't do it. So I'm sort of trying to schedule

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Speaker 1: something in the beginning of the day, and it's so

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Speaker 1: hard for me to like roll myself out of bed,

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Speaker 1: like I just like to lay in bed and play

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Speaker 1: wordle and then like scroll every news story for an

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Speaker 1: hour and a half. And I was like, if I

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Speaker 1: treat me getting up and doing a workout or doing

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Speaker 1: whatever I need to do, like I need to catch

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Speaker 1: a flight, I would treat it so much differently. And

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Speaker 1: I'm always catching flights for work, So what if I

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Speaker 1: did that? And it's the last two days. It's been

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Speaker 1: two days, and I'm so proud of myself that for

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Speaker 1: two days I've been like, you have a flight to catch,

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Speaker 1: and I get up and I've been doing my thing,

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Speaker 1: and it makes me very happy and I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm in a very good mood because of it. I

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Speaker 1: love that I also can admit that I'm I've struggle

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Speaker 1: in the mornings, you know, I'm kind of like you

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Speaker 1: or I just want to lay in bed and like

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Speaker 1: online shop. And so lately I've told Thomas, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: make sure when my alarm goes off, I can't press news,

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Speaker 1: like I just got to get up and go, and

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Speaker 1: so it's just me. Yeah, it's just it's such a

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Speaker 1: good start to your day. So it's a big accomplishment, congratulation,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much. And it's the first time I

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Speaker 1: genuinely am approaching exercise as not a means to alter

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Speaker 1: my form, but it means to alter my mind. Does

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Speaker 1: that make sense? Like I'm just genuine like, if it

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Speaker 1: doesn't feel good mentally, I don't want to do it anymore.

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Speaker 1: So it's just been nice to be like, this is

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Speaker 1: for you, this is your moment, have some time, and

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Speaker 1: it's just it's just putting me in the best state

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Speaker 1: of work and mood that I've been in for Like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, out of the last three days, my last

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Speaker 1: tunings have been amazing. So I attributed all to this

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Speaker 1: do change. I love that. What kind of workouts do

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Speaker 1: you like? What do you gravitate towards? So there's this

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Speaker 1: one woman on Instagram that I found called Lauren Level,

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Speaker 1: and she does like these amazing just like bar classes

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Speaker 1: and stretches, So I do her like on leisure when

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Speaker 1: I want to. And then I love a twenty minute

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Speaker 1: Cody words by Peloton Ride. Oh I don't work, but

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Speaker 1: like incredible on just like today, he was like, We're

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Speaker 1: going to ride these hills like they are your titties.

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Speaker 1: We are going to do this speka like they are

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Speaker 1: the mounds of the breast. And I was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know where did he come from? I love it

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Speaker 1: so much. He is a true gem of a human.

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Speaker 1: I have never met him, but I like what you said,

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Speaker 1: where does he come up with this? Like the shit

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Speaker 1: that he says to motivate people. I'm like, this is

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Speaker 1: so wild, but it's so wonderful and so motivating. He

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Speaker 1: I will watch his videos and I won't even work out.

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Speaker 1: I'll just watch yeah now, yeah, if you got it

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Speaker 1: all over the place, They're like motivational speeches. I've slid

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Speaker 1: into his DM so many times yet I've not gotten

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Speaker 1: a response, but I just constantly need to tell him

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Speaker 1: how amazing he is so that one day he'll open

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Speaker 1: it up and one probably block me, and two just

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Speaker 1: like genuinely feel like, Wow, I'm actually making them back

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Speaker 1: in this world. If he doesn't know already. My favorite

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Speaker 1: thing that he's ever said during the workout is he's like,

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Speaker 1: you are not I don't never know what he said.

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Speaker 1: He's relating somebody to like a chili's entrain. He's like,

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Speaker 1: you are not a You are this sizzling chicken fahita

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Speaker 1: that as you walk by, you smell great, you look great,

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Speaker 1: and everyone whips their heads to look at you. And

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Speaker 1: I actually said that to my fiance and just like

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Speaker 1: the clip of him saying that, I know every time

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Speaker 1: I'm like feeling down, he's like, you are a sizzling

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Speaker 1: chicken fahita platter, like thank you, thank you so much,

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Speaker 1: but we need. That's what we need. And this podcast

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Speaker 1: is turning into the Cody Riggsby I love it, just kidding.

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Speaker 1: So I want to get into all that you are

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Speaker 1: doing because you are absolutely incredible. I have followed you

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Speaker 1: for so long and I feel like I have so

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Speaker 1: many freaking questions and I feel like I'm going to

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Speaker 1: go off on a thousand tangents, so I apologize in advance.

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Speaker 1: But everything that you're doing is so inspiring. So also

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Speaker 1: kind of like Cody Rigsby, so motivational, not even for

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Speaker 1: young women, but just women in general. So since you

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Speaker 1: inspire all of us so much at least me on

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Speaker 1: a daily basis. I want to know who or what

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Speaker 1: truly inspires you. I feel like it changes all the time.

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Speaker 1: I think at one point in my life, I really

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Speaker 1: realize that we know there's no such thing as original thoughts.

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Speaker 1: So everything we think is something we've picked up along

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Speaker 1: the way. It's something that we've gravitated to, and it's

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Speaker 1: something we've absorbed and taken on as our own, Like

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Speaker 1: our original words were the words that our mothers say,

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Speaker 1: which has always made me a really intentional thinker, as

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Speaker 1: opposed to like when I speak around my children like

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Speaker 1: you're the first language that I learned, So I can

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Speaker 1: never really pinpoint it to like one person or one

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Speaker 1: inspirational thing. I feel like my entire life is a

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Speaker 1: culmination of just inspiring people that I've paid attention to

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Speaker 1: and a lot of times getting it wrong. But also

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Speaker 1: like ending up in a place where I feel like

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Speaker 1: I am hopefully a collection of some incredible women who

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Speaker 1: have led incredible conversations with me and with other people

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Speaker 1: on social media whatever that have now somewhat become the

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Speaker 1: baseline of my own thoughts, which I think is so

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Speaker 1: what is so beautiful about social media? I want to

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Speaker 1: take it back just a bit, just so our listeners

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Speaker 1: can actually know and understand you a bit more and

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Speaker 1: what exactly the bird's papaya is. So just give all

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Speaker 1: of our listeners a background, and then I obviously want

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Speaker 1: to get into way more of everything that you said.

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Speaker 1: So I actually the birth papaya was birthed at a

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Speaker 1: time that I had moved far away from my family

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Speaker 1: with my ex husband for a job that he had.

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Speaker 1: So I was a stay at home mom in this

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Speaker 1: new city that I knew nobody, and I had this

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Speaker 1: like broken laptop and this dream of I don't know,

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Speaker 1: finding connection. And it was at a time of like

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Speaker 1: the birth of blogging, and I remember finding mommy bloggers

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Speaker 1: and it was like the first time I didn't feel

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Speaker 1: alone in doing everyday task, whether it was like making

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Speaker 1: meals or decorating or home and at the time, that's

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Speaker 1: what blogging was. And I just I felt so good

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Speaker 1: when I had a I was twenty three at the

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Speaker 1: time and I had a toddler and I had a

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Speaker 1: baby in this new town and young and married and

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Speaker 1: really just looking for a place to connect. It was

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Speaker 1: a very lonely time for me, and so I like

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Speaker 1: googled how to code my own blog, and I started blogging,

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Speaker 1: and it was probably could win awards for being one

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Speaker 1: of the worst blogs. It was so bad, but that's

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Speaker 1: like where I got my start. And I love when

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Speaker 1: people I love them were so bad at something, because

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Speaker 1: then you know that's the beginning, Like we all have

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Speaker 1: to do video now, and I'm like, this is going

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Speaker 1: to be so bad, but this is great because this

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Speaker 1: is like the ground floor. I know what it's like

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Speaker 1: to work from the ground floor of like googling how

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Speaker 1: to make a blog and just going after it. So

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Speaker 1: I spent almost a decade sort of spinning my tires

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Speaker 1: in this creative space and never really getting anywhere. But

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Speaker 1: I loved it so much because I just loved I

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Speaker 1: loved finding connection with other people. And I also just

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Speaker 1: loved I'm a talker. It's been on every report card

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Speaker 1: in my whole life that I talked too much, and

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Speaker 1: it just felt really nice to be able to have

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Speaker 1: a space that was my own to talk and share from.

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Speaker 1: And then we moved. I had a third child I'm

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Speaker 1: now post part of my three kids at twenty five.

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Speaker 1: I moved home to my hometown at twenty eight and

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Speaker 1: at that time, I just suddenly I struggled with my

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Speaker 1: weight my whole life. I'd always been the biggest girl

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Speaker 1: in my class and growing up, and I was very

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Speaker 1: used to relying on my personality to get through friendships

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Speaker 1: and being around other people. I'm very much used to

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Speaker 1: being the butt of the joke and like making the

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Speaker 1: butt of the joke to sort of like claim that

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Speaker 1: ownership over when I knew everyone was staying behind my

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Speaker 1: back anyways. And so when I moved home to my hometown,

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Speaker 1: I was a lot. I had gained a lot of

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Speaker 1: weight through just like being so isolated, living far away

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Speaker 1: and having three kids and the natural flow of like

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Speaker 1: your body changing. But I didn't have any positive messages

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Speaker 1: around that. I had a lot of negative ones, and

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Speaker 1: I was so determined if I was going to be

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Speaker 1: back in my hometown. It actually, actually, truthfully, it started

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Speaker 1: because somebody tagged me in a photo on Facebook where

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Speaker 1: I was at a baby shower, and it broke me.

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Speaker 1: And as I went on to lose weight by without

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Speaker 1: any help from a professional or nutritionists or any proper guidance,

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Speaker 1: just downloading an app and definitely not eating an app,

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Speaker 1: and way over exercising the headline was really bad Facebook

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Speaker 1: photo encourages woman to lose one hundred pounds, And at

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Speaker 1: the same time, showing up online with a weight loss

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Speaker 1: story was like my ticket into everything I ever wanted.

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Speaker 1: And not only did people treat me differently, but I

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Speaker 1: was given this pass into like a following, a career

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Speaker 1: making money based on changing myself constantly. And that was

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Speaker 1: a really exciting time, especially after like ten years of

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Speaker 1: sort of like grinding through. I suddenly had this mass

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Speaker 1: following of people really excited for me that I lost weight.

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Speaker 1: The reality was, as I went down this line, the

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Speaker 1: pressure to constantly change, to get smaller, to get prettier,

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Speaker 1: to get thinner, to get you more and more quote

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Speaker 1: unquote healthy, was actually killing my body and killing my spirit.

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Speaker 1: And you know, this restrictive lifestyle was restricting me from

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Speaker 1: every angle. And I was also going through a divorce,

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Speaker 1: and so I was now thirty years old in the

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Speaker 1: most oppressed state I've ever been in, living at my parents'

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Speaker 1: house with my three kids and going through all of this,

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Speaker 1: and all anybody looked at me and said was, oh,

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Speaker 1: my gosh, congratulations, you look so good. And all I

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Speaker 1: could think was, if only you knew I'm in like

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Speaker 1: not only that my health was declining, I actually lost

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Speaker 1: the feeling of my legs. I never got formally diagnosed

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Speaker 1: with an eating disorder, but I had to face the

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Speaker 1: reality that I definitely had one, and I was terrified

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Speaker 1: to eat without constantly exercising to erase it, to kind

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Speaker 1: of exist in the world, to be around people, to

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Speaker 1: grow assize anything. And so I remember there were some

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Speaker 1: people on social media that had very similar stories. There

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Speaker 1: was actually a lot of people who seemed to have

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Speaker 1: lost weight and now they were like, ah, that didn't

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Speaker 1: actually solve all my life problems. And I found I

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Speaker 1: used to hate these accounts. I used to just see

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Speaker 1: them and be like, no, that's like so unmotivational, like

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Speaker 1: why would you even put that out and into the world.

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Speaker 1: And then I found them being like this warm blanket

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Speaker 1: of security that I needed during the darkest time of

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Speaker 1: my life. And the more I started to show up

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Speaker 1: as myself without the conditions, without the editing, without the

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Speaker 1: constant need to be smaller and quote unquote better, I

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Speaker 1: found myself really actually truly showing up in my world

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Speaker 1: more and more and more, and there were some viral

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Speaker 1: moments along the way, like the first time my stretch

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Speaker 1: marks were shown and it went viral, and at the time,

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Speaker 1: this is like four years ago, nobody had done this

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Speaker 1: before that I had ever seen. So there was just

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Speaker 1: a lot of these moments where I just realized, all

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Speaker 1: this time, I've been seeking connection by becoming something, by

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Speaker 1: being this mold that I thought I needed to be

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Speaker 1: in order to be accepted by other people. It's almost

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Speaker 1: like growing up and like waiting for party invitations, Like

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Speaker 1: you just want to be invited to the party so bad,

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Speaker 1: so you need to become that person that gets invited

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Speaker 1: to the party, only to turn around and go, I

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Speaker 1: actually don't like this party. I don't even like the

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Speaker 1: people in this room, Like I don't like being here.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm going to start my own party. And

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Speaker 1: everything shifted for me. I lost a lot of the

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Speaker 1: original followers, and then I gained two million new ones.

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Speaker 1: So it was like what I thought was going to

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Speaker 1: tank me turned into my greatest success story, which was

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Speaker 1: how do I show up in my life right now

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Speaker 1: as I am, no matter how that is and how

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Speaker 1: that changes, and trust me, I've been challenged by that

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Speaker 1: in the last two years. In postpartument pregnancy that was complicated,

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Speaker 1: and now I just want to show up and continue

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Speaker 1: to be just a vulnerable self. But I'm also dancing

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Speaker 1: with the understanding of humanity and how shame works, and

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Speaker 1: sort of working towards dismantling my own like fat phobia,

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Speaker 1: my own like standards for myself, my own shame, my

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Speaker 1: own issues, and doing it in a journalistic way on

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Speaker 1: social media. And that's essentially what I've done over the

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Speaker 1: last four or five years, which is in a bumpy

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Speaker 1: but beautiful ride. I mean, I have to commend you

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Speaker 1: are You are so fun to follow because it's so

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Speaker 1: real and it's so raw, and like for anyone watching you,

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Speaker 1: it's like I feel like, speaking for myself, I can relate,

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Speaker 1: and I'm sure most people men and women have gone

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Speaker 1: through different struggles like that, And you're such a catalyst

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Speaker 1: to like actually put it out in the universe to

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Speaker 1: have people feel like, you know, I'm not alone in this.

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Speaker 1: Why is body confidence advocacy is so important in today's world,

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Speaker 1: especially from somebody who has such a big platform and

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Speaker 1: who has children that she's trying to raise to probably

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Speaker 1: just be the best versions of themselves one day. Why

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Speaker 1: is it so important. My biggest why is comes a

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Speaker 1: lot around. I cry every time I talk about this.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, I'm okay, brief everybody. I had three kids

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Speaker 1: by the time I was twenty five, and I was

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Speaker 1: so ashamed of my body that I just didn't show

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Speaker 1: up in their childhood. There was so many times they'd

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Speaker 1: asked to do things that I would say no. There

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Speaker 1: was times it would get in the pool and I

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Speaker 1: would just sit on the sides. And now I have

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Speaker 1: this baby. My kids are now teenagers and I have

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Speaker 1: this new baby and I look at her and I go, oh,

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Speaker 1: my gosh, I've missed so much with them, and I've

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Speaker 1: missed so much with like even my husband, my now husband.

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Speaker 1: The first years of our relationship, I like wore a

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Speaker 1: full outfit in bed, like I just had so much

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Speaker 1: that I robbed myself, like my own joy, my own intimacy,

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Speaker 1: my own pleasure and happiness. I robbed myself because I

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Speaker 1: sidelined myself based on what somebody else might think, that

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Speaker 1: I've decided that they think of me, or that they

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Speaker 1: judge me for. And now I look, I look at

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Speaker 1: this little girl, and I look at this soft timmy.

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Speaker 1: She gave me and I thought like no, like I'm

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Speaker 1: not doing this again, and I have to show up

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Speaker 1: and I have to keep showing up and I have

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Speaker 1: to be here because I get it now as I

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Speaker 1: watched my daughter who's sixteen, and I look at our

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Speaker 1: and I don't get that back, like I only you

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Speaker 1: only get I know they always say those lines you

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Speaker 1: only get eighteen summers, But like how true that is?

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Speaker 1: Like I think we just act like everything like it's fine,

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Speaker 1: like if I'll go on the vacation when I look

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Speaker 1: like this, or when I'm here, or I'll go do

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Speaker 1: this thing when when when? And we hinge our life

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Speaker 1: on what we look like, and we hinge our experiences

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Speaker 1: based on meeting goals, which goals aren't a bad thing,

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Speaker 1: but you can't not live while you wait to meet them.

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Speaker 1: And so my why remains deeply in regret of a

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Speaker 1: loss of experience and awareness of that we really just

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Speaker 1: like remember the tooth isn't like late two thousands when

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Speaker 1: everyone said yolo, but like, truly we only get one shot.

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Speaker 1: Nobody else is gonna everyone's gonna forget you in like

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Speaker 1: a little bit. But like the people who love you

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Speaker 1: like they want you here, They don't. Actually, they might

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00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 1: know what you look like, but they don't care. With

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Speaker 1: my kids have never that our relationship hasn't changed based

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Speaker 1: on my weight. My husband and I our relationship hasn't

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Speaker 1: changed based on our weight. And I realize that's not

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Speaker 1: everybody's story, but that is truly a story that is

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Speaker 1: possible and beautiful. So I just fight to not sideline

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Speaker 1: myself and it is very hard some days and it takes.

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Speaker 1: And I won't be the kind of person that goes

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Speaker 1: just wear the bikini and go do the thing. If

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Speaker 1: you need to wear like a long sleeve shirt and

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Speaker 1: jeans to the beach, I don't care. Are you there? Like?

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Speaker 1: That's the point I think at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: is like how can we show up even in the roughest,

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Speaker 1: toughest of days, because there's a lot happening and I

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Speaker 1: don't want to miss it based on my fears of

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Speaker 1: what other people think and say. I love how you

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Speaker 1: just asked like are you there? Are you present? Are

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Speaker 1: you enjoying what life has to offer in that moment?

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Speaker 1: And I'm sure anybody can relate to having those moments

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Speaker 1: where they stepped out of something that they wanted to do.

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Speaker 1: And said no because they didn't feel okay or presentable

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Speaker 1: or whatever it might be. I don't even want to

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Speaker 1: say confident, but just feel like themselves in their own body. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: One thing, So I came across one of your posts

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Speaker 1: that actually I think YAHOO wrote an article about which

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Speaker 1: I loved. Is you so many people asked you, I'm

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Speaker 1: sure on your blog and on Instagram, you know, like

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Speaker 1: you're so confident. How do you feel so confident all

432
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,560
Speaker 1: about that one word? And you change it and you're like,

433
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,680
Speaker 1: it's not confidence, I just am coming home or it's

434
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 1: that type of thing. Can you get into more about

435
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 1: that and explain that thought process. Yeah, my friend Ariel

436
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: a story I just did this incredible voice thing where

437
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 1: she also sentimented the same thing that I've written about,

438
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 1: where it's like people are always like I just want

439
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,440
Speaker 1: to like get my body back, or I just want

440
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 1: to like find myself, like you didn't go anywhere you've

441
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 1: been here this whole time. Like it is not about

442
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: going in, finding yourself out in the world or finding

443
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,960
Speaker 1: yourself through these things. It's coming home to yourself. All

444
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 1: of us, I think, are inherently like when I go

445
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,639
Speaker 1: back into the roots of who I am and what

446
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,880
Speaker 1: I fought to become. It wasn't fighting to become anything,

447
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:20,879
Speaker 1: It was returning to who I was, almost a childlike

448
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: version of myself. Like who I was then is very

449
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 1: much the essence of who I am now. This like

450
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 1: old girl who loved stages, who love to talk, who

451
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 1: love to share, who wanted to do all these things.

452
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: And I think we shush that person over time, we

453
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: slowly but surely shush her because we've just taken in.

454
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 1: As much as we taken these and sponge these positive things,

455
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 1: we also sponge negative stuff and it starts to form

456
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,880
Speaker 1: and shape us in new ways. And I think so

457
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,440
Speaker 1: many of us are just like searching for like where

458
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 1: am I? And how to in this imposter syndrome of

459
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 1: like where do I fit? And where do I go?

460
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 1: And I think the more we realize that like a

461
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,919
Speaker 1: lot of us struggle on like how to get dressed

462
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 1: every day, a lot of us struggle on like do

463
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,479
Speaker 1: they like me? And they struggle in am I worthy?

464
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: In my job? Am I allowed to do this? The

465
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,160
Speaker 1: more we realize that a lot of us are having

466
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: these thoughts and it's actually just those who are choosing

467
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,479
Speaker 1: to continue to step forward who are getting more is

468
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: sort of a very eye opening thing, and I think

469
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 1: is what continues to drive me personally is just like

470
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: really coming home to the essence of who I've always

471
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:26,479
Speaker 1: been and kind of shushing out the other side, shushing

472
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: out the people who have a lot more to say,

473
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 1: because they're always going to have something to say. I'm

474
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 1: learning this so much, lady, Oh, I feel you. I mean,

475
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 1: I've only been in the public eye for a couple

476
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 1: of years, but I've learned like, You're never going to

477
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 1: please everybody. You could do the best thing on the planet,

478
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 1: and we will still have haters. You will still have

479
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: people trying to drag you down. And I love listening

480
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 1: to you speak, and I just love all of your

481
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 1: posts that I've been reading and even your captions on Instagram.

482
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 1: And somebody wrote in to one of your posts, and

483
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 1: I think like the sentiment just entails it so well

484
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 1: as they said, you are a wordsmith and a warrior.

485
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 1: Do you ever feel like you know, because you are

486
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 1: on this public platform and you do have so many

487
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: followers watching along, I'm sure, I mean, you have to

488
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: know you are inspiring to so many people, But do

489
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: you ever feel like that pressure of like trying to

490
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 1: keep that up as well. Oh, I'm like the biggest

491
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,679
Speaker 1: people pleaser, and I think I also often forget, like

492
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,359
Speaker 1: I've been doing this for so long, so when you

493
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 1: start like sharing about your life, it just becomes an

494
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 1: extension of you. I didn't like suddenly fall into this.

495
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 1: I've been doing this for fourteen years, so I think

496
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,400
Speaker 1: sometimes it sort of like wakes me up to like, oh,

497
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: when I say something randomly in my stories, I have

498
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 1: to be braced for a lot of people to have

499
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,400
Speaker 1: a thought back, Like it is a lot to take

500
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 1: in a lot of people's opinions. But I'll give an example.

501
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 1: I'm such a huge advocate of everyone choosing for themselves.

502
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 1: And even though I work in the arenas of like

503
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 1: self love, I also am like work in the arena

504
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 1: of like if you want to fully go do like

505
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 1: an entire body makeover, like, do not expect me to

506
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: boobooing on the sides, like I will be there, like

507
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 1: with bandages if you meet them, like, I am not

508
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 1: here to judge anybody else's for their choices. But yeah,

509
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 1: I wasn't giving myself that same grace and opportunity, and

510
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: a few months back, I very privately went and got

511
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 1: botox in my jaw and it was helping astronomically with

512
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 1: my headaches and migraines. And yet people were always assimulated,

513
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:31,879
Speaker 1: do you get botox? Do you get botox? And I

514
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 1: was like yeah, but then I was like stuttering and

515
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 1: like feeling ashamed that I was like saying yes, But

516
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 1: I'm like I would literally not care if anybody was

517
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 1: doing this for cosmetic reasons or for migraines or anything,

518
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,159
Speaker 1: like why am I feeling so much shame? And the

519
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 1: shame took over so much or the like the fear

520
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 1: of disappointing people, to the point that I didn't rebook

521
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,119
Speaker 1: an appointment. And then I landed in the hospital on

522
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 1: my daughter's sixteenth birthday with a migraine and my husband

523
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,680
Speaker 1: was like, You've got to go back and get this done,

524
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I just I hate having to answer

525
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: this question by people. And today I very much was

526
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 1: like very vocal of like I can't keep disappointing myself

527
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 1: at the like out of fear of disappointing other people.

528
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,440
Speaker 1: And that's really hard to do when you have a job,

529
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 1: and a lot of people have jobs like this where

530
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,920
Speaker 1: you come into a performance review every single day, people

531
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 1: will tell you what they think of you every moment

532
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 1: of the day, and you have to come to grips

533
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 1: with like what parts of these are real and things

534
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 1: that I care to hear about, and what parts are

535
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: things that I need to really quickly let go of.

536
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 1: But being a people please are in navigating social media,

537
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 1: it is very hard and it is an ongoing work

538
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: to sort of push through those kinds of I know,

539
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 1: you know, but like it is, people will judge from

540
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 1: the sidelines, from shoes they have never walked in, and

541
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: that's a hard thing to deal with for sure. I

542
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 1: ran just talking to right now. I feel like you're

543
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:59,479
Speaker 1: inspiring me to think differently too, because I at times

544
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: am like you were all you know, it's like, yes,

545
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: I'm doing something, but and I'm trying to like explain

546
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 1: it away or give a reason, and when in reality

547
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 1: we don't have to do that, right, Like, it's really

548
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 1: no one else's business in anything, And so I feel

549
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:14,959
Speaker 1: like I'm going to try to be better about that.

550
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: If I feel like I need to defend myself or

551
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 1: defend why I'm doing something or whatever it would be,

552
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: you know, like yeah, I think because we're like always,

553
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 1: we're gifting so much of ourselves and to know, like

554
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: what and I love that, Like I genuinely love sharing,

555
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: but I also love having good mental health and like

556
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: drawing the line in the sand when I need to.

557
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:37,880
Speaker 1: And I think I also just have to come back

558
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 1: to like why am I holding back and my holding

559
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: back because I'm ashamed or my holding back at a

560
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: fear of judgment, And those are two very different things, right, Like,

561
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 1: if I actually own my choices and own my decisions,

562
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: then I should be free to share them, even with judgment.

563
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 1: But if I'm feeling ashamed, that's something I have to

564
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: work on. And I have to look at the roots

565
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:58,479
Speaker 1: of why I'm feeling shame, because for me, my worst

566
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 1: self esteem issues meant health issues stem from pockets of

567
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 1: shame that we have, and that's where I'm like, we

568
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 1: need to work on some things to figure out why

569
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 1: we're feeling this. I feel like your kids hit the

570
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: jackpot with you as a mother, and motherhood is such

571
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 1: an important part of who you are and overall branding.

572
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: I want to know overall that you've experienced in the

573
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:22,239
Speaker 1: past sixteen years with your children, what has been one

574
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 1: of the best parts of being a mother and one

575
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 1: of the hardest. I think one of the best parts

576
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 1: is like from the womb, they are who they are

577
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 1: and you're just sort of like jumping in to guide them.

578
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of times we think like

579
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 1: the way, sure, the way we parent them might structurally

580
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 1: change things, but like who they are is who they are.

581
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: Like just I've seen it so much with my kids,

582
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: Like who the way they behaved in the womb like

583
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 1: actually translated to their personalities. And that's like one of

584
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: my favorite things is like truly the honor of sort

585
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: of sitting in the passenger seat of somebody else's ride.

586
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 1: And I also I didn't connect with a lot of

587
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 1: other moms and mom groups and like mom blogs in

588
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 1: that way, Like I liked that there was other people

589
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: doing what I was doing, but I didn't really want

590
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 1: to talk about my kids all the time. What I

591
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: love about parenthood and like my own motherhood is that

592
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 1: it is like it's your own choice, Like they're my

593
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 1: own spawn, Like I kind of get to write this

594
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 1: map a little bit. I actually get to enjoy the

595
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 1: parts that I do the most, and I don't have

596
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 1: to do I don't have to be like mother Goose

597
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 1: Martha Steward of parents, Like I can be whatever kind

598
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 1: I want to be. And I'm so glad that I've

599
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 1: leaned into what is the most fun and what I'm

600
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 1: really good at and not trying to be this version

601
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 1: of a mom that I'm just not. And I would

602
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,680
Speaker 1: say the hardest part is the fact that it is

603
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 1: like having four heartbeats walking outside of you that you

604
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 1: have zero control over. You know the Finding Nemo movie

605
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 1: where he like constantly is protecting Nemo. And every year

606
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 1: when the kids are about to start school, I watch

607
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 1: Finding Nemo, and I watch the entirety the movie for

608
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 1: one single line, and that's when Dory says to Marlon,

609
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 1: if you don't let anything happen to him, nothing will

610
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: ever happen for him. And then it always cluds me

611
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: and like, my job isn't to just protect them. My

612
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 1: job is to actually teach them how to navigate this world.

613
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: And I think that like brings me into like a

614
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: whole other mental space when I'm like, it is not

615
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: my job to like keep you at home and keep

616
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 1: you sheltered, It's to teach you how to go out

617
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: and be in this world and it's the hardest part

618
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 1: and it's the best part all in one. Oh my gosh,

619
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 1: I you just listen off all these things. It's already

620
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 1: I don't even have a baby yet. I don't even

621
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: have a child, and I feel like I already am

622
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: going to think that way. I just know me, I

623
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 1: know how I operate, and every like my mom tells

624
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 1: me every day, like you have to let go of control.

625
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 1: You have to just want to be like, you know,

626
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 1: you just have to take it day by day and

627
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 1: go with motherhood whatever strown at you. And I'm like,

628
00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna be so anxious, you know. So I

629
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 1: think that's beautiful that you even say that, just to know,

630
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 1: like moms and dad's parents probably feel that on a

631
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 1: daily basis, and it probably won't ever go away. You

632
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 1: just got to do your best to navigate through. And

633
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: moms with mental health like anxiety can still be incredible mothers.

634
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people feel like they're exempt

635
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 1: or that they will never be able to qualify for

636
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: parenthood because they struggle with mental health or that they

637
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: struggle with anxiety. I can tell you firsthand, growing up

638
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 1: in an environment where my mom struggled with anxiety and depression.

639
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: Made me more empathetic, made me more understanding, made me,

640
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 1: I think, a better person. So I think to anybody

641
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 1: listening who's like I could never deal with that anxiety,

642
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 1: you can. And it'll actually shape your children into being

643
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 1: very beautiful people because of it, because they will also

644
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: feel safe and supported to struggle as well, so that

645
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: you can kind of lean in on each other. Okay,

646
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 1: So I also want to ask you this because more

647
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 1: people around me, a lot of my friends an sister,

648
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: are having babies, and so what is some advice you

649
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 1: would give to mothers to still feel sexy or to

650
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: still feel like themselves while going through a pregnancy, a

651
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 1: birth and just raising children. Now, I think for me,

652
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 1: it comes down to stop trying to like reach back

653
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 1: into who you were and instead figure out how to

654
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 1: move forward. So instead of bouncing back, bounce forward and

655
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: also like honor and like own what magnificent things you've done,

656
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 1: and don't just make it in the way that like, oh,

657
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 1: my body is carrying life now, so now it's like

658
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 1: a valuable thing knowing your body has always carried life

659
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 1: and now it's carrying more like honor. The hell out

660
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 1: of it, through every stage, even afterwards when it's no

661
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 1: longer being celebrated and the doors aren't opening for you

662
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: everywhere anymore because you're no longer pregnant. It takes a

663
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 1: grieving process to go through that, and grief in the

664
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 1: way of when we go through change, you have to

665
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 1: acknowledge it. You can't just like try and race it.

666
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,959
Speaker 1: If you face it and you understand it, and you say, like,

667
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 1: I missed who I was before, to give room for

668
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 1: who you're becoming, to find your sexuality again, to find

669
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,879
Speaker 1: who you are again, to like own the like powerhouse

670
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: that you are as you've become that instead of feeling

671
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 1: like society teaches us that we become less and less

672
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,680
Speaker 1: and less valuable the more like everyone wants you to

673
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 1: have a baby, until you have a baby, and then

674
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 1: they're like, can you just like make that look like

675
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 1: it didn't happen, Like can you just make that go away?

676
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: And like what if your husband doesn't want to have

677
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 1: sex with you anymore? Like forget all of that, Like

678
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: if you own how magnificent you are. And this is

679
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 1: something I've worked on mentally, because I went from saying

680
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,760
Speaker 1: all of these things and then hiding in the closet

681
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: to change after I gave birth, and my husband's like,

682
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 1: what are you doing? Like I don't understand, and I

683
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 1: was like, I'm just struggling because after this baby, I've

684
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 1: had like an overhanging stomach. And he's just like, yeah,

685
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 1: it's like a kangaroo pouch. It's like science, it's like

686
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 1: how skin works. Like, what are you doing? I want

687
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: you here? And I was just struggling so much. I

688
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,800
Speaker 1: had to grief and if I kept trying to hide

689
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 1: and feel shame and put myself away, I wasn't going

690
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 1: to be able to get to where I am now,

691
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: which is like boning in the shower in the morning.

692
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 1: It's great, figured out, we got back. We got back there.

693
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: Oh I love that. I mean, I if a way

694
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: I ever do decide to get pregnu or have babies,

695
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 1: I'm calling you up and we're just get a chat.

696
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 1: And oh my gosh. I love that well. And it

697
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 1: sounds like you have such a supportive partner too, and

698
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 1: I think that's a huge part of your life. And

699
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 1: it's just it's nice so you have him as a

700
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 1: support system to be like, I still want to do

701
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 1: this life with you. Don't hold up and shell up,

702
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 1: and you know, wait till you feel better one day,

703
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 1: Like I still want to experience all of the ups

704
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,879
Speaker 1: and downs with you. Yeah. I wrote this whole post

705
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,760
Speaker 1: because when I met him, I was actually at my thinnest,

706
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,400
Speaker 1: and so I wrote this and I'll just read it quickly,

707
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 1: but it says I'm fifty pounds heavier than when we met.

708
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: And I think about that sometimes when the dobt creeps in,

709
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: and when I feel unlovable for simply changing. But then

710
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 1: I remember the journey we've been on. I remember that

711
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:10,720
Speaker 1: this change is actually a beautiful one. It's first dates,

712
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 1: it's second dates, it's the thousands of them more. It's

713
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 1: the travel, the taste of it, the laughing till we're sore.

714
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,280
Speaker 1: It's cocktails on a Friday, curling up on a Sunday.

715
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 1: It's sickness overworking, joy and healing. It's having a baby together,

716
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 1: woven inside my body. It's fifty pounds of what's made

717
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 1: our family. So when I think about it in the

718
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 1: doubt creeps in, I ask myself, what would you rather

719
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 1: have this life or be thin? And I smile at

720
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:36,919
Speaker 1: him and I look at our life. It's not even

721
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:40,760
Speaker 1: a question. I would do it all again. Oh God, Okay,

722
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 1: tears and chills right now. I just have such a

723
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 1: heart for like women going through change in the way

724
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 1: that we like erase ourselves and sideline ourselves from our

725
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:53,320
Speaker 1: partners and our experiences. So like that's my heart today,

726
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 1: and like I feel like I'm like on a tangent,

727
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 1: but like it's oh yeah, I love that. I mean

728
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 1: even from my experience, like meeting Thomas in the past year,

729
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 1: I I definitely and there are days where I'll get

730
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:09,800
Speaker 1: done because like, oh, Thomas Sawyer, I was cooking together

731
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 1: and eating and drinking and like just enjoying life. Yes,

732
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 1: but I and some days I'll wake up and I'll

733
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 1: be like I just feel lethargic, and like I gained

734
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 1: weight since we started dating, and I want to go

735
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,359
Speaker 1: back to like when we met on Paradise saw the things,

736
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 1: and He's like, you're beautiful, And I think about this

737
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 1: past year has been the best year I've ever experienced

738
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 1: in my life. Like there's been so many moments where

739
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 1: we've been able lucky enough to indulge with each other

740
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,800
Speaker 1: and just partake in all that life has to offer.

741
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 1: And I'm like I would. I wouldn't change that, you know,

742
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 1: like there days where I get down, but I would

743
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 1: do it all over again. And I hope I can

744
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 1: still keep doing this for the next fifty sixty years. Yes,

745
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 1: because it's so special in that post, I honestly want

746
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 1: to print that off and just at the top of

747
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 1: my Instagram right now. But like to your sentiment, I

748
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: wish more women shared stories like this because we when

749
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 1: we look at the most joyous times in our lives,

750
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 1: it's usually in an in a time of gain. And

751
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 1: that's a gain across the board. It's a gain on

752
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 1: your body, and it's a gain in your health, and

753
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,359
Speaker 1: it's a gain and your joy. It is a game

754
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:11,240
Speaker 1: across the board. And I think the more we share

755
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,719
Speaker 1: stories like that, we allow more ebbing and flowing up

756
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 1: and down across whatever it is, and really allow space

757
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 1: for that. So thank you for joining that, because that's like, oh, like,

758
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: I just think that that's like the message that we

759
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:23,879
Speaker 1: need to hear more and more and more because we're

760
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 1: we've so been conditioned to see a before and after

761
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 1: photo and the first one she's so sad, and the

762
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:32,839
Speaker 1: second one she's so happy, and that like relates it

763
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 1: to like an inner joy, and that's not always the case. Like,

764
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,800
Speaker 1: wouldn't it be so cool to see before and afters

765
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 1: of like people genuinely like this has been the best

766
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 1: year of my life and like look what I've gained,

767
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 1: Like that's so cool. I love the way that things

768
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 1: are changing. I love that. Before we get into that game, though,

769
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: I feel like we haven't even really talked about your podcast,

770
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 1: but the Birds probably cover so many topics. What is

771
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: one of your favorite episodes that you've ever done, or

772
00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:02,239
Speaker 1: who has been one of your favorite guests on that Okay,

773
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: favorite guest. I've had them on twice and it's been

774
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 1: so good both times. As JABN like Japan was like,

775
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 1: write down your absolute favorite person that you would ever

776
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 1: like to have on your podcast, and I wrote it

777
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 1: down in year one and then in year three. Have

778
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:19,399
Speaker 1: now had them on twice and just like a genuine

779
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: human that's just so open to sharing with the world

780
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 1: and has like, I don't know, just like one of

781
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 1: the best people. I love being in podcasts with them.

782
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 1: One of my favorite things about podcasting is it's like

783
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 1: the ultimate experience of like putting your phone down and

784
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 1: having a conversation and I could talk to anybody about

785
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 1: anything for hours, so I don't really plan them, I

786
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,760
Speaker 1: don't structure them. I sit down and I ask really

787
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,919
Speaker 1: curious questions for like half an hour. And it's called

788
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: the Papaya Podcast because I couldn't think of anything else

789
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 1: because it was an adorable little nickname, and then it

790
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 1: kind of stuck. So it's the Papaya Podcast. It comes

791
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:58,320
Speaker 1: out every Monday, and we've been going strong for three years.

792
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,439
Speaker 1: It's like it was like this, this like side gig

793
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 1: I was doing that now has become such a huge

794
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 1: part of my world and I love it so so much.

795
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 1: It's such a good outlet. I mean I've said this

796
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: on our podcast before and Happy Hour that yes, it's

797
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 1: technically I'm getting paid and it's a job, quote unquote

798
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:18,839
Speaker 1: a job, but it doesn't feel like that. It's just

799
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,919
Speaker 1: such a fun experience where you can just go, I'll

800
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,360
Speaker 1: hold up in my happy place, I love my coffee.

801
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: I'll just sit and talk to incredible people like you.

802
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 1: It's just it's such a joy and something I never

803
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:30,919
Speaker 1: thought I would be able to do and have conversations

804
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 1: that I never thought I would and so it's I mean,

805
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 1: I just feel so grateful for this opportunity and so

806
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 1: happy that you joined us today. Okay, I'd be remiss

807
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 1: if I didn't ask you this, since it is botched

808
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:42,479
Speaker 1: our happy hour. Are you a fan of the show.

809
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:46,879
Speaker 1: Have you watched it before? Oh? Yes, I watched it

810
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:51,919
Speaker 1: a lot, and I have slowly crept my way into

811
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation because of Caitlin. I was on her podcast

812
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 1: like three years ago and was like, man, I'd love

813
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: to be friends as hard and now we are friends.

814
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:02,240
Speaker 1: I love that, And she's just been like she's connected

815
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 1: me with a bunch of people. But like, Bachination is

816
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 1: such a special little place. But I love the show.

817
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 1: I mostly love watching the show to sit with my

818
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 1: husband and have him like be so frusty. He's like,

819
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: I don't care about the show, and then he's so

820
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 1: opinionated about it. I have watched for years and years,

821
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 1: and I get so caught up in all of it.

822
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,280
Speaker 1: I loved the I only watched Paradise for the first

823
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: time on your season, Like that was the first Paradise

824
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: I ever watched, So I'm hooked on that now. I

825
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 1: might love it even more. Do I do? I have

826
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 1: things that I would like love to come in and

827
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 1: change about the show. Yes, but I also like, I'm

828
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 1: so done with having guilty pleasures. It's a pure pleasure

829
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,759
Speaker 1: for me. I genuinely enjoy it. I love that my

830
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 1: only reality show. Usually I'll ask our guests at the beginning,

831
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 1: but we've had such a good conversation, Like I gotta

832
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: as if she's even a fan, but I love of thoughts.

833
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 1: How do you well? So I want to ask you,

834
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 1: how do you feel about the upcoming season with two baturretts.

835
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 1: I just need clarification, Like I just need to know

836
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:04,720
Speaker 1: what you and all of the world. Yeah, I'm interested

837
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 1: to see how it's going to work out. I do

838
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 1: love that it's showcasing what it would look like because

839
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,359
Speaker 1: this entire thing I always am like, are they following love?

840
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,759
Speaker 1: Are they just in competition? Because that can be confusing.

841
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 1: So I think this is really neat that we have

842
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 1: two people that genuinely were in competition but also allowed

843
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: to set that aside to be each other's friend. And

844
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 1: I think that there's times in our lives that that

845
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 1: truly happens. So to watch that, like if you think

846
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: about you and a friend going for the same job,

847
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 1: or like just even a fellow woman doesn't even have

848
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 1: to be a friend or like getting an opportunity that

849
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:39,320
Speaker 1: you had really hoped for. It takes a lot, especially

850
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 1: as women, especially knowing that, like statistically there's really only

851
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 1: one spot for women at a table of six men,

852
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: we inherently will be competitive. So the notion that we

853
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 1: brought two people to I'm now part of it all.

854
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 1: The show has now taken two women that were in

855
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 1: competition and put them into supportive role for each other.

856
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:04,399
Speaker 1: Like love it. I can't wait. Oh man, I'm gonna

857
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 1: have to be DMan. You in the middle of this.

858
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts? I'll maybe we'll have you back

859
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,880
Speaker 1: on the podcast again. I would love to. Yeah, no,

860
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:16,400
Speaker 1: I love this kind of chat. Um. Okay, Miss Sarah.

861
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:18,919
Speaker 1: We are going to play a quick game that would

862
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 1: do with all of our guests. So this is basically

863
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 1: rapid fire, but it's just giving all of our listeners

864
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 1: an opportunity to learn more about you and partially getting

865
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,839
Speaker 1: your advice. So I'll just ask you a question and

866
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 1: first thing that comes to mind, easy enough, okay, So

867
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:36,840
Speaker 1: what is the favorite way that you treat yourself? S

868
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,800
Speaker 1: gtt care get care. I love that kind of the

869
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 1: beginning and end of the day. It's the book ends.

870
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 1: So if I can get that and it's only five minutes,

871
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:45,919
Speaker 1: it's enough. So it's scare I love it. I love

872
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:49,279
Speaker 1: how fast that was too. What is your favorite thing

873
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 1: to do with your family? Anything that's like group activity related,

874
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 1: even if it's like just going to the movie or

875
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 1: going to an arcade. I love when their energy levels

876
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 1: like up. And also, like Mario Kart, We're a big

877
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 1: look Mario Kart family, and I'm so down for that.

878
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 1: You don't even know. Thomas found his Mario Mario Kart

879
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 1: in the garage a couple of weeks ago, and every

880
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 1: night now I just hear this theme song going and

881
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 1: I'm so over it. I'm like, if I have to

882
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,240
Speaker 1: hear this Mario Kart theme song music one more time,

883
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,839
Speaker 1: So anytime you're in southern California, let me know, come

884
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 1: over listen. I have an actual league back. I love this.

885
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,359
Speaker 1: I love this. Yeah, I'm terrible at it. I'm so

886
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:34,600
Speaker 1: bad at it. I oh, I'm also very bad. I

887
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:37,600
Speaker 1: rely on getting that like rocket that like in third place,

888
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 1: like all the time. But I just love it. I

889
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 1: don't know. It's like something about like being with family

890
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 1: and like competing against you, so it's a healthy, happy competition.

891
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 1: What did you want to be when you grew up?

892
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 1: Fascinating because I actually thought that I would do something

893
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 1: on a stage. But that's like I thought like an

894
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 1: actress or a singer. But I actually had really brewed

895
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 1: rutle stage fright when it came to acting. And even

896
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 1: though my our parents put me through a lot of

897
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:08,400
Speaker 1: music school, I have a stage fright that shakes my voice.

898
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:11,239
Speaker 1: So I never became a singer and I always felt

899
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: really lost, Like I thought I was going to be

900
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 1: on a stage. I thought I was going to do

901
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 1: this thing, which is so cool because if you think

902
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 1: about like six year old Sarah thinking she was going

903
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 1: to be on a stage one day, the stage of

904
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 1: social media didn't exist. The stage to which I would

905
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,879
Speaker 1: do like public speaking that I do now or even

906
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:28,520
Speaker 1: a podcast was not even in the realm of possibility.

907
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 1: So the fact that that's like a thing now and

908
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 1: the fact that I dreamt of something that didn't exist

909
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:37,439
Speaker 1: yet was I think is really cool. Okay, one more

910
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:40,720
Speaker 1: question before we do a Rosenthorne, what is your advice

911
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: for women who want to add a little spice to

912
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:45,759
Speaker 1: their lives, any kind of spice, whatever it might be.

913
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what is a spice? I hope you

914
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 1: just say pepper. So after I finished breastfeeding, so I

915
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:59,799
Speaker 1: can't drink alcohol anymore because I really trigger migraines. But

916
00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:03,319
Speaker 1: I tried like edibles and they're legal here, So we

917
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:05,879
Speaker 1: tried edibles. And what I don't think that many women

918
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 1: understand is it like elevate sex, like quadruple, Like it

919
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 1: is so wild and for us that has like totally changed.

920
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 1: Not only that, but like I feel so liberated in

921
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 1: my body because it's like so it's so like sensation

922
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,319
Speaker 1: driven and so that has been like that has been

923
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: the spice in my life. I love it. Okay, So

924
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 1: we have our last part of the podcast, which is

925
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: Our Rose and Thorn. So basically we ask everyone each

926
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 1: week what was your rose, which is like the best moment,

927
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 1: the highlight, or the thorn which was the worst, the messiest,

928
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 1: worst part of the week. Oh okay, I'm gonna start

929
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: just to make it easy. The thorn worn this week

930
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 1: is kind of a random one. So a couple of

931
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 1: weeks ago on the podcast, it was actually right after

932
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:58,239
Speaker 1: Thomas and I announced our engagement, and we're giving the

933
00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:00,200
Speaker 1: whole story of like the day leaving up to the

934
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: big event, and one of the parts we talked about

935
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:06,320
Speaker 1: was that morning we had walked through the farmer's market

936
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:09,279
Speaker 1: and found this woman who was there. She was there

937
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:13,720
Speaker 1: with the jewelry company, but she randomly just started talking

938
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,719
Speaker 1: to us and like reading our tarot cards and just

939
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:19,479
Speaker 1: kind of like having this whole spiritual media moment. Yeah,

940
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:22,359
Speaker 1: So we talked about this, We raved about her, and

941
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 1: she ended up getting let go from where she was

942
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:29,800
Speaker 1: working because I don't know if it was an issue

943
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: with her boss or what it was. So I felt

944
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 1: terrible when I found this out because she was absolutely incredible.

945
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,399
Speaker 1: So I was like, I feel terrible if we had

946
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,799
Speaker 1: any part of her not being able to sell at

947
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:45,280
Speaker 1: the farmer's market anymore. So I'm gonna turn the thorn

948
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 1: into a rose right now and give a shout out

949
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 1: to Shelby because she is absolutely amazing. She said some

950
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 1: spot on, just incredible, really crazy stuff to Thomas and

951
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 1: I that day before we got engaged about just us

952
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 1: in general and about my father. So if anyone wants

953
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 1: to check her out, her name is Shelby. Her Instagram

954
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 1: handle is at spiritually sitting pretty underscore. We've just gotten

955
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: the show Shelby some love Okay, Oh I love that. Okay.

956
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:24,720
Speaker 1: My thorn this week would be that I broke community

957
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:26,920
Speaker 1: guidelines on TikTok and was a little bit banned for

958
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 1: a hot second. What did we break? I actually don't know.

959
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 1: I was probably just in my underwear too much. It's typical.

960
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 1: And my rose this week is going to be that,

961
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:43,640
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I have so many There's so much

962
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 1: good stuff happening right now. I'm trying to just like

963
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 1: pick one to be grateful for, you know what, I'm

964
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:51,160
Speaker 1: gonna just like throw it to two different things. One

965
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 1: that I owned my own needs and I went and

966
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 1: got the boatox from my migraine, which was like really

967
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 1: causing issues for me. But like two, my kids are

968
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 1: all like gradually and they're like finishing school and they're

969
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 1: like they're just like doing such amazing things and I'm

970
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 1: very excited for that. And another rose is that m

971
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 1: so you know Jillian Harris for my friend Laurette As

972
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 1: This ties into the show. We just found out we're

973
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,279
Speaker 1: going on the same Disney cruise together, so we get

974
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 1: to hang out that realization was so exciting. And so

975
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 1: I've never gotten to like hangout with her family before.

976
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 1: We've only ever seen each other at a workstep. So

977
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 1: I'm so excited that not only are we like going

978
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 1: to get to hang out, but like our families are

979
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:31,839
Speaker 1: going to be there. It's coming up so soon. And

980
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:34,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't like I'm a Disney cryer, Like

981
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:36,399
Speaker 1: even looking at the videos, I just sabbed and solved

982
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 1: and sold, Like I can't even go on YouTube about Disney.

983
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,200
Speaker 1: So I am that was like a really exciting thing

984
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:42,560
Speaker 1: to happen this week. I was like, oh my gosh,

985
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 1: Ally we're going, but there's like somebody else there that

986
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 1: I get to hang out with. I'm just yeah, that

987
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 1: is even to be such a blast. Oh my god.

988
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 1: I might just have to invite myself. I will carry

989
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 1: your luggage, I'll do whatever. Oh my gosh, I absolutely

990
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 1: love It's going to be much fun. She's an energizer

991
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 1: bunny of a yes, some would say a golden retriever.

992
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 1: She is just salt of the earth, amazing and also

993
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:08,799
Speaker 1: just such a blast. So I'm really excited to go

994
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,719
Speaker 1: with her. Yeah, I absolutely love her. Oh my gosh.

995
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 1: That is going to be so much fun. And I

996
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 1: have to also say this has probably been one of

997
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 1: my roses, one of my favorite episodes. And I'm not

998
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 1: just saying this because you're here right now. One of

999
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 1: the favorite, my most favorite episodes that I've ever recorded.

1000
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 1: It really is. I really think it's gonna be such

1001
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 1: a fun listen for everyone and just a real raw conversation.

1002
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 1: Like I definitely orge everybody to go check you out

1003
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 1: really quick. For all of our followers, where can they

1004
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 1: find you? On your blog, Instagram handle all of the things.

1005
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:44,319
Speaker 1: If you go to the Bird's Papaya on ig that's

1006
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 1: the wheelhouse. Most people come from my Instagram stories. You

1007
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 1: might stick around. You're either going to laugh or cry,

1008
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 1: there's really no in between. Might come and like be

1009
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 1: a part of Instagram. That's where everything will link to

1010
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 1: everywhere else. So that's the best place to find me.

1011
00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:00,400
Speaker 1: I'm also on TikTok, but like somebody stole my handles

1012
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:03,480
Speaker 1: on like the dot birds dot Ohiah. But yeah, you

1013
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:06,400
Speaker 1: can find me everywhere. You have been incredible. I would

1014
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 1: love to have you back if you're ever willing. I

1015
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:12,279
Speaker 1: would love that, especially we talk about bachelor's stuff and

1016
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 1: bachelorette stuff, no, and I really appreciate that and for

1017
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 1: everyone listening, Like I spend four hours a day in

1018
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 1: dms and comments, so like community is like where I'm at,

1019
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 1: and I I love people coming and joining us there

1020
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 1: and just like finding different ways to connect and like

1021
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 1: intersect our lives. So I'm in for it all. Thank you,

1022
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:32,279
Speaker 1: thank you, Sarah. Well, it was such a pleasure having you.

1023
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 1: Please stay in touch. Thank you so much. Well that's

1024
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:39,280
Speaker 1: your happy hour, listeners. That was such a fun episode

1025
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 1: to record. I hope you enjoyed it. Sarah is such

1026
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:45,360
Speaker 1: a pleasure, such a gem to talk to. And even

1027
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 1: though this episode this week wasn't solely focused on the Bachelor,

1028
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 1: I hope you still took something away or can at

1029
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 1: least go check her out and see all of the

1030
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:55,880
Speaker 1: incredible things she's doing because she is just She truly

1031
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 1: is inspiring. And we have a lot of Bachelor coming

1032
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 1: up in a few short weeks. We will have the

1033
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,319
Speaker 1: full season to get into. We will get our fix

1034
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 1: at that point. So it's been fun these past couple

1035
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,320
Speaker 1: of weeks not having to recap a season and getting

1036
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:12,320
Speaker 1: totally knee deep in boucher and just giving everyone a

1037
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:14,560
Speaker 1: little bit of a break, but have no fear it

1038
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:18,320
Speaker 1: will come back very soon. So thank you to Sarah

1039
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 1: for being here, and thank you to all of our

1040
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 1: Bachelor Happy Hour listeners. Please make sure to hit us

1041
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 1: up on social. You can follow us at boucheler happy

1042
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,440
Speaker 1: Hour on Instagram and from there you'll be able to

1043
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:30,319
Speaker 1: find everything that you need to follow us on both

1044
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 1: Twitter and TikTok. Boucher Happy Hour is available on Apple Podcasts,

1045
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:37,720
Speaker 1: Amazon Music, or wherever you listen, and you can always

1046
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 1: listen ad free by subscribing to Wondering Plus in Apple

1047
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:44,080
Speaker 1: Podcasts or the Wondering app. Thanks everyone, and we will

1048
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:47,800
Speaker 1: see you next week. Have a good one.