Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with Broths and Gavin to
Speaker 1: Grab and I heard radio podcast. Welcome to another episode
Speaker 1: of How Men Think. My name is Brooks Like and
Speaker 1: this is the show where we dive into the male
Speaker 1: mind and we give you the male perspective on all
Speaker 1: things life. And we have a very special co host.
Speaker 1: We do not have our good buddy Gavin to Ground
Speaker 1: with us today, but we have a much more handsome,
Speaker 1: much more rugged Hey, we have another fantastic musician to
Speaker 1: sit in Gavin's chair and carry the load for Gab
Speaker 1: while he's not here. We have the country music star
Speaker 1: Mr Tyler Rich with us today. Tyler my brother. Welcome
Speaker 1: to the show. What's up man? Happy to be here, dude.
Speaker 1: I love One, I just want to say thank you
Speaker 1: for coming on the show. And two, I love having artists.
Speaker 1: I love like doing this show with gav artists in
Speaker 1: my I have a lot of artist friends, and you guys,
Speaker 1: sem to have just a real depth and interesting perspective
Speaker 1: on so many things in life, and you just come
Speaker 1: at things from a different angle. Um. So I always
Speaker 1: appreciate when artists come on the show and I just
Speaker 1: sit back and I listen, and we have producer Danielle
Speaker 1: and producer Tor with us as well. And sometimes artists
Speaker 1: will say stuff and we're just like damn, no wonder
Speaker 1: they can write songs and like, just so well, I've
Speaker 1: got I've got big shoes to fill because Gavin is
Speaker 1: one of the best. You don't you have. I've only
Speaker 1: met Gavin a couple of times in passing. Um, he
Speaker 1: lives in Nashville, I believe most of the time or
Speaker 1: all the time. So you know, we got some mutual
Speaker 1: friends and stuff. Um, I'm uh. I know Brett Young
Speaker 1: fairly well. We've toured together and stuff, and him and
Speaker 1: bred are super tight. Um. But Gavin man one of
Speaker 1: one of my big influences growing up. And so that's
Speaker 1: really cool to phillip spot for a day. Man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you got, you get you get a cote with like
Speaker 1: in a couple of days in the mail, you'll get
Speaker 1: a co host, a co host like Sheriff's badge. You
Speaker 1: can wear that around town if you want. Perfect Brett
Speaker 1: was on the on the show. I know Brett well
Speaker 1: as well, and I know you toured with Brett. I
Speaker 1: think right, you toured with Brett, was it? Yeah, we
Speaker 1: did the samet on tour is what it's called. Uh.
Speaker 1: And that was yeah, the end of God Man, time's flying.
Speaker 1: It was the end. It feels like it was yesterday.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. So I want to talk to you first.
Speaker 1: I want to get into what you're doing, Tyler, because
Speaker 1: you're doing something super cool. Um. And it seems to
Speaker 1: me that you have taken this quarantine time, this unique
Speaker 1: and crazy, chaotic time, and spun it into an amazing opportunity.
Speaker 1: UM because as an artist, you're not touring, you're not
Speaker 1: performing concerts and venues. And so then it seems like
Speaker 1: you said, Okay, I still love music. I have a
Speaker 1: passion for music. I need to get it to people
Speaker 1: people now more than ever. I know I'm consuming more
Speaker 1: music than ever before. Um, during this time. And so
Speaker 1: you've done something really unique where you go instant ground live.
Speaker 1: What is it every you do Sunday, but you also
Speaker 1: do it? Is it Wednesdays? What's the other one you do?
Speaker 1: It kind of depends on my schedule, but anywhere towards
Speaker 1: like the mid to the end of the week of
Speaker 1: the work week, Thursdays, Friday's depends, and you put on
Speaker 1: a live concert from your home. Yeah, man, this's couch trailer.
Speaker 1: Live from home, so cool, live at home, so you
Speaker 1: put on a live concert for fans for people to
Speaker 1: tune in for free and watch. Um, and have been
Speaker 1: creative with this? Has this been? I just want to
Speaker 1: ask you, like, how what has been your mentality and
Speaker 1: how have you turned this quarantine time into an opportunity
Speaker 1: to be more creative? Is it? Are you finding yourself
Speaker 1: more creative? Are you finding more time to write? Like?
Speaker 1: How how does this work for you as an artist? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean we've got we for sure have more time
Speaker 1: to write, you know, We've got all the time in
Speaker 1: the world. Um. It was. It was kind of crazy
Speaker 1: when it first went down because I was on tour
Speaker 1: with this band called Lanka Country bandon he got canceled
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, within one day, we
Speaker 1: were just everybody was home with no end in sight,
Speaker 1: and then I had a headlining It was gonna be
Speaker 1: my first sever headlining tour. I was so pumped. Um,
Speaker 1: We're kicking off at the Troubadoor, which I lived between
Speaker 1: Nashville and l a and so our place in the
Speaker 1: l A is I could walk to the Troubador, you know,
Speaker 1: and it's uh The coolest part though, still all through
Speaker 1: this in really quick, is that on the Troubadoor window
Speaker 1: still it says Tyler Rich sold out because it was
Speaker 1: a week before the show. So I've claimed to my
Speaker 1: steak at the Troubador. But you know, it was all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, we're all stuck at home and we've
Speaker 1: gotta figure out how do we maximize a brand new
Speaker 1: business model we know nothing about. And so and that
Speaker 1: is the Internet, right, We've all we're all toyed with it.
Speaker 1: We've all had Instagram Live for so long. We've had
Speaker 1: all these things for so long, but we've never fully
Speaker 1: at least my perspective of a lot of artists, I know,
Speaker 1: we would jump on in strogram Live for just a
Speaker 1: few minutes be like heay, what's up, I'm on a
Speaker 1: roller coaster. Look at me now. It's like, hey, I've
Speaker 1: got this staying at my fingertips. Where I could have
Speaker 1: created these relationships just for months and months and months
Speaker 1: and years with these fans that I've never fully connected
Speaker 1: with yet. And so immediately I was like, man, I
Speaker 1: see some people that are some fellow artists that are
Speaker 1: just jumping on and playing songs. I was like, I
Speaker 1: want to create a structure. I want to create a
Speaker 1: virtual tour. So every Tuesday I did the thing called
Speaker 1: sing behind the Scene Tyler and Friends sing behind the Scenes.
Speaker 1: So what that was is I would invite these songwriters
Speaker 1: that I've worked with before, people have written songs with before.
Speaker 1: You're just the best of the best in Nashville. And
Speaker 1: they've come on and they tell a story and play
Speaker 1: one of their hits, and then I would play a
Speaker 1: song that we've written together. Um, and then I would
Speaker 1: take a stab at covering one of their songs, and
Speaker 1: then they would afterwards do the same thing, play another song,
Speaker 1: telling story, et cetera. M Friday's Thursdays and Fridays and
Speaker 1: give I feel like it feels like Home the Couch series.
Speaker 1: And then that one is you know, at first it
Speaker 1: gets a little weird, man, because you're just playing music
Speaker 1: and you're used to interaction, you know, you used to
Speaker 1: hearing people and now the claps are just hoping. They say, man,
Speaker 1: I loved that song. You know, I didn't see this
Speaker 1: watching it kind of go down and um. And then
Speaker 1: Sunday's is my favorite. We do this. My wife is
Speaker 1: she's wild. It's crazy. She's fun, she's the life of
Speaker 1: any party she's at, always um. And we wrote a
Speaker 1: song called Leave Her Wild. It's about Sabina's wonderful thanks
Speaker 1: man I wonderful, crazy personality and my goal of I
Speaker 1: met her that way and it was my goal to
Speaker 1: leave her that way, and so I wrote that song
Speaker 1: about it. And it's kind of been this beacon we've
Speaker 1: realized for just you know, so many women and little
Speaker 1: girls man at concerts will jump on their dad's shoulders,
Speaker 1: you know, and they're like, this is my anthem with
Speaker 1: my dad, leave me Wild. And uh, it's been really cool.
Speaker 1: It's we're like, well, Sundays, if Sabina can't go out
Speaker 1: on a rooftop and day drink and do normal brunch,
Speaker 1: you know, and I can't go and do that with her,
Speaker 1: why don't we take brunch tome. And so we created
Speaker 1: a show called Leave Her Wild Sunday Brunched, and we
Speaker 1: just we sit right here in this exact spot and
Speaker 1: we get super drunk um and we we have guests,
Speaker 1: you know, surprise surprise guests pop on and catch us
Speaker 1: up with what they're doing, and then we do a
Speaker 1: little bit of drinking trivia where we challenge them to
Speaker 1: this card trivia card game and losers have to take
Speaker 1: shots back and forth. Um, and we closed the show
Speaker 1: almost like a talk show man. We closed the show
Speaker 1: with the musical guests every week and somebody comes on
Speaker 1: and plays their new single and then it's over. Um,
Speaker 1: it's kind of created this whole. It really sucks, but
Speaker 1: we don't get out there man, in front of people,
Speaker 1: but it just creates created such an incredible and unique
Speaker 1: bond with my fans that I've never even remotely had before.
Speaker 1: I mean, you can get meat and greets, you can
Speaker 1: run into a fan of the bar exchange, you know,
Speaker 1: a little dialogue and whatnot. But there's been such because
Speaker 1: it's the same people every week, you know, same people
Speaker 1: tune in and to hang out and uh, it's it's
Speaker 1: been cool, man. It's been a extremely inspiring and from
Speaker 1: the fan perspective, they probably feel more than ever like
Speaker 1: they know you, like they're friends with you, even though
Speaker 1: they've never physically met you or something, or maybe they
Speaker 1: haven't yet been to one of your concerts. Maybe they
Speaker 1: were going to come to the headlining tour. But um,
Speaker 1: even digitally, I'm finding it more myself as well. People,
Speaker 1: people find ways. It's kind of the new It's kind
Speaker 1: of the new normal. People are finding ways to connect digitally,
Speaker 1: and friendships are forming that way and connections are forming
Speaker 1: that way. I think it's super cool that you involve
Speaker 1: your wife and your music. I think that's just like
Speaker 1: what atribute to her. And I think the Difference was
Speaker 1: was the Difference inspired by your wife as well? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so the Difference is actually one of the few one
Speaker 1: of the only songs I've put out. I didn't write
Speaker 1: um and so, but when I was in that song
Speaker 1: meeting and that song got pitched me and I heard
Speaker 1: the lyrics of it'sunny because Sabina would always text me,
Speaker 1: especially like that first year. If I would quickly be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm going to the store, I love you, she'd always say,
Speaker 1: I love you. There's a difference feeding me this song.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know needing to exist for like a
Speaker 1: year's time. And then we had a bunch of music ready,
Speaker 1: and I had got my record deal and we were
Speaker 1: getting ready to put out the first single. And it's
Speaker 1: that first single has to make a splash, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, and what's gonna be And so we
Speaker 1: did these songwriting meetings, and it was four hours into
Speaker 1: a pitch meeting and the different started playing. And as
Speaker 1: soon as I heard that hook in that course, there's
Speaker 1: a difference between love you and I love you, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to be the difference. I was like,
Speaker 1: So I texted, I text I was like, yo, babe,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. You've been feeding me this song for a
Speaker 1: year and I didn't take the bait. But I think
Speaker 1: I found the hit song. Uh, and I'm gonna record
Speaker 1: it and you're gonna love it. Ah. That's awesome, just
Speaker 1: that encoded energy. Man, that's so awesome. I love it.
Speaker 1: I love that you bring your love, that you bring
Speaker 1: your heart into your passion. And I've always wondered that,
Speaker 1: Like I have such a That's why I love doing
Speaker 1: the show with Gavin. I have such a respect and
Speaker 1: appreciation for artists one the ability to sing, the ability
Speaker 1: to create music, the ability to to express themselves through
Speaker 1: so much of myself. I find comfort and like a
Speaker 1: companionship in music, you know, But I've never been able
Speaker 1: to create it. I've never don't really creating. I played
Speaker 1: different instruments and stuff, but I've never tried to like
Speaker 1: express my heart through music and you guys, uh men
Speaker 1: and women that are artists. I just have such an
Speaker 1: appreciation for what you do. Somehow when you write songs,
Speaker 1: they speak to me in my life and I'm like,
Speaker 1: how it's it's almost like I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I couldn't have wrote this any better, you know, and
Speaker 1: it was it's something that you're going through. So from
Speaker 1: a fan perspective, like, I just want you to know
Speaker 1: that what you guys do is so important. You know,
Speaker 1: it's so vital and important, and especially now when the
Speaker 1: world is running high on emotions and not all the
Speaker 1: ones to have that kind of an outlet. Um. I
Speaker 1: just commend you for one bringing your music to people
Speaker 1: because you could have very easily. You don't have to
Speaker 1: do any of that stuff. You don't have to make
Speaker 1: yourself available or perform songs for people. You do it
Speaker 1: because you love it and it helps people. So I
Speaker 1: just want to commend you, man. I think it's really
Speaker 1: noble what you're doing. Thanks man, Thanks man, I appreciate it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, obviously, all all artists, all musicians
Speaker 1: are music fans. You know, that's where it starts. And uh,
Speaker 1: you know, as an artist. I feed off that exact
Speaker 1: same energy from people, and uh, you know, songs that
Speaker 1: inspire me, I feel the exact same way. How the
Speaker 1: hell did this person get that on paper make me
Speaker 1: feel this way? And why can't I write songs like that?
Speaker 1: So it's this content, Uh cons Evan flow for sure. Well, UM,
Speaker 1: my schedule is pretty open. So like Gavin was gonna
Speaker 1: feature me on his new record, you know, so you
Speaker 1: need can come in years. I can probably do that.
Speaker 1: You know, I've been man, I know nothing about ice skating,
Speaker 1: and we can, we can, we can swift. Well, dude,
Speaker 1: I love what you're doing. We'll get back. We'll get
Speaker 1: more into that at the end of the show. But UM,
Speaker 1: I want to I want to ask you some questions.
Speaker 1: We have some listener questions and we want you know.
Speaker 1: You're a married man, You're a very successful person. UM.
Speaker 1: I also love that you are a dreamer and an
Speaker 1: achiever of dreams. You didn't just end up as a
Speaker 1: country music star like you said. You are a fan
Speaker 1: of music. You created a life in music, um, and
Speaker 1: are literally living your dreams. So um a great role
Speaker 1: model for our community. So our community has some questions. Uh.
Speaker 1: Producer Tor is gonna read them and then you and
Speaker 1: I are just going to rip through them, uh and
Speaker 1: see if we serve our community the best from the
Speaker 1: male perspective, because the show is called Hell many things.
Speaker 1: So producer to fire away with question number one, please
Speaker 1: and thank you all right? Question number one? Moving in together?
Speaker 1: What is it a good time? Is it a quicker
Speaker 1: process us when you're older? Oh? How does this work
Speaker 1: to you? Go first? You and your wife? How long
Speaker 1: was it when you guys moved in? How long do
Speaker 1: you know each other? Uh? It's hard because we're we
Speaker 1: are still back and forth is an actors, and so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna so we go back and forth still in
Speaker 1: the same two places we lived when we met. Um.
Speaker 1: That being said, had we been in the same city,
Speaker 1: I feel like we would have steadily been staying together,
Speaker 1: probably within like five weeks. I think when you're older,
Speaker 1: it's easier. I think, Oh, no, I guess the full
Speaker 1: move is harder. When you're younger. I'm gonna say younger,
Speaker 1: it's easier. You've got less stuff stuff. I think the opposite.
Speaker 1: I think the older is easier because you're like I
Speaker 1: think you just have a better grasp on where you
Speaker 1: are and where the relationship might be. When you're young,
Speaker 1: it's like you want your space and this one and
Speaker 1: like I'm like, what what did it stay out of
Speaker 1: my space? What did you stay there? Stay here? But
Speaker 1: as you're older, I think just the composure within a
Speaker 1: relationship changes, and so all the all the interactions like
Speaker 1: a moving in change. And I also think you get
Speaker 1: to the point when you're a little bit older of
Speaker 1: like is this real or just is this just kind
Speaker 1: of a facetious relationship. So when you're younger, I think
Speaker 1: you can be in a relationship longer without really knowing
Speaker 1: what it is. When you're older, I think you get
Speaker 1: down to the nitty gritty, like, yes, I'm invested in
Speaker 1: this person, they're invested in me, and so maybe you
Speaker 1: move in quicker. Um, that would be my answer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I could get that. That makes sense. The one is
Speaker 1: from Shannon What do men think about dating woman with
Speaker 1: a child? What are the drawbacks? Um, so, either you
Speaker 1: wanted to if I met a woman with a child,
Speaker 1: It kind of goes back to what you're saying with
Speaker 1: you know pretty quick if that's something you're in a
Speaker 1: fully invest in when you're um, at least my age
Speaker 1: if I met somebody you know and she had a kid,
Speaker 1: I mean that's a question. Uh okay, this is this
Speaker 1: is this is the show Man because it's we try
Speaker 1: and be honest. But also it's like so like I'll
Speaker 1: say it like I would, I would probably prefer to
Speaker 1: meet somebody who didn't have a kid, just in honesty
Speaker 1: that there's nothing wrong than having a kid. But just
Speaker 1: like I would prefer to meet somebody and and start
Speaker 1: my family fresh and new with them. Um to, people
Speaker 1: are gonna, you know, say what they want to say,
Speaker 1: but um, it just is I'd love to start a
Speaker 1: life and build a life together. Um you don't know
Speaker 1: what the history is of the other partner or if
Speaker 1: it's been good or bad. There's nothing wrong with a
Speaker 1: woman having a child, but um, just being honest to
Speaker 1: this show, I would prefer to meet somebody without a child,
Speaker 1: you know, just to start fresh new history. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I think yeah, I think the pre the preference is
Speaker 1: there for sure because you want that first it to
Speaker 1: be yours. You wanted to be that bond of you know,
Speaker 1: you and her and then the child. Whereas in a
Speaker 1: kid Man you nailed it with the ex thing you
Speaker 1: know who knows what you're dealing with with the other parent. Um,
Speaker 1: I travel a ton. I have to travel for work
Speaker 1: or seven. So my specific situation would be I would
Speaker 1: need um, a mobile partner and a kid, you know,
Speaker 1: with the X in another place, I can pose a
Speaker 1: lot of issues. So it kind of comes down to
Speaker 1: career and but preferably without. But yeah, not a game,
Speaker 1: not a not a deal breaker. I have one of
Speaker 1: my best buddies has four kids and met somebody with
Speaker 1: four kids, so now they have eight. And uh, I
Speaker 1: was like, I was like, you guys, gotta have one
Speaker 1: together just so you have nine. Then you have a
Speaker 1: full ball team. Yeah, you're good to good man. Um
Speaker 1: oh man, I think once you have for though, man,
Speaker 1: I think if you have four and you meet somebody before,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, yeah, that's what it is here we are, right, Tory.
Speaker 1: Next one. Next one is from Jessica, how to respect
Speaker 1: your boyfriend's relationship with his mother. She is so overbearing?
Speaker 1: Oh interesting questions. Thank you for that with Jessica. Interesting
Speaker 1: question because overbearing is a very general term. I'd like
Speaker 1: to know more in depth on what she meant by overbearing,
Speaker 1: like injects in their relationship or is still so motherly
Speaker 1: to the boyfriend, Like what kind of overbearing is it?
Speaker 1: But like looking at it from the opposite, you know,
Speaker 1: you also have to carve out your boundaries, you know,
Speaker 1: for Jessica, like if if I was looking at a
Speaker 1: father in law, if the father because like if I
Speaker 1: was dating a girl the father in law it was overbearing,
Speaker 1: I don't think I'd have to have a discussion and
Speaker 1: carve out some boundaries with both of them, one with
Speaker 1: with the woman and one with the dad. So maybe
Speaker 1: that's the conversation with the boyfriend and be like what's
Speaker 1: going on here? This is just what I see? Or
Speaker 1: maybe maybe a conversation with the mom too, I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you for sure have to. You have to
Speaker 1: immediately signal that you of the respect issue there you
Speaker 1: and you know you have to compliment sandwich it. You've
Speaker 1: gotta hit her immediately with like, I understand, this is
Speaker 1: your little boy, this is who you raised, and I
Speaker 1: understand that you raised in a certain way that you've
Speaker 1: been in control of his life, his entire life, and
Speaker 1: you know you're his mom. There's nothing to'll ever change that,
Speaker 1: replace that um and then figure out the nicest way
Speaker 1: to possibly say it's my turn and then end it
Speaker 1: with we love your input at the right time. But
Speaker 1: you are so good. I have a wonderful father mother
Speaker 1: in law, so I don't deal with that, but I
Speaker 1: have in the past to an ungodly extent. That's why
Speaker 1: you're so good at this. But how did you do
Speaker 1: the how did you do the middle of this? And
Speaker 1: which where you were like hey, bar pump your brakes,
Speaker 1: you know like that? I was no. I was terrified
Speaker 1: of her. I never had the talk and just let
Speaker 1: the relationship and I was no. She was a scary
Speaker 1: as well. What was the following up? Um, do you
Speaker 1: guys value the dad's input more or moms? As a son?
Speaker 1: I don't think you value one more than the other.
Speaker 1: What do you mean, like, oh from our parents? Yeah?
Speaker 1: As a as a son? Yeah. Whose opinions do you
Speaker 1: value more? Is it the moms or is it dad's speaking?
Speaker 1: Just from my perspective, I don't value one more than
Speaker 1: the other. Um, they're very different, but they they're very
Speaker 1: they're both very um influential and necessary and loving and
Speaker 1: kind um in their own ways. Um, I've always said
Speaker 1: this about my hockey career. My dad was very constructively,
Speaker 1: gave constructive criticism, always helping me to be better, wanting
Speaker 1: me to improve and be better. And my mom was
Speaker 1: always just like, you played your heart out, I'm so
Speaker 1: proud of you, Like I could never play a bad
Speaker 1: game with my mom. So they're both are very They're
Speaker 1: very different, but they're very important and the same as
Speaker 1: kind of in life, Like they show up different ways
Speaker 1: in life. But I don't put more stock or value.
Speaker 1: I respect my parents equally just how my life has
Speaker 1: turned out, but it might be different for somebody else, Tyler,
Speaker 1: what about you? Yeah, definitely. And I think in the
Speaker 1: perspective of if it's um the mom that's overbearing or
Speaker 1: the dad, and if you had to look at it
Speaker 1: that way. On that other side, I feel like an
Speaker 1: overbearing dad is a protective dad more than controlling. And
Speaker 1: I feel like every dad i've ever you know, other
Speaker 1: every girlfriend's dad that I've experienced, in their protective state.
Speaker 1: They also were a guy our age dating a girl
Speaker 1: at one point, you know, and a lot of the
Speaker 1: way they might be treating their daughter's boyfriend might be
Speaker 1: based off the way they treated girls when they were
Speaker 1: growing up for things experience with friends and UM, you
Speaker 1: just have Yeah, you have to. You've got to earn
Speaker 1: trust with with parents, you know, and their little girl
Speaker 1: might have been hurt. They might have been hurt. And
Speaker 1: every action is always there's always weight behind in action,
Speaker 1: you know. And if somebody is extremely overbearing, there's something
Speaker 1: deeper usually involved there. There's a fear there, and you've
Speaker 1: got to crack the fear and earn the trust, um
Speaker 1: and then compliment sandwich sandwiches all day every day. Okay.
Speaker 1: The next question is from t SI. What do you
Speaker 1: guys think about infertility slash help issues while dating? Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: I'll say health issue was um, just because I have
Speaker 1: very personal experience with that with with an x amount. Um,
Speaker 1: she had a really bad health issue for a few
Speaker 1: years that we dealt with together. UM. I did not
Speaker 1: know about it until about a year in or so,
Speaker 1: and I won't get deep into details, but UM, at
Speaker 1: that point we were super love and happy and everything,
Speaker 1: and so it was like it was an easy battle
Speaker 1: for me to fight with her. Um. It is definitely
Speaker 1: infertility and health issues are two completely different, you know,
Speaker 1: that could be two completely different topics. But um, I
Speaker 1: mean it all comes down to the bond, right. I
Speaker 1: would never drop something like that on somebody right away,
Speaker 1: but as soon as you do feel like it might
Speaker 1: be turning to serious because some people you know, prefer
Speaker 1: to adopt you know. I mean, it's not gonna be
Speaker 1: necessarily a deal breaker for somebody. You never know that. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, having having experienced with that as well.
Speaker 1: It's it's not an issue for me because you choose
Speaker 1: the person. Ultimately, if you are in a relationship, you
Speaker 1: are choosing the person, So you don't just choose parts
Speaker 1: of them. You choose them as a whole, and they
Speaker 1: choose you as a whole. And so if it is
Speaker 1: an issue for you, you know, get out of the relationship.
Speaker 1: It's not that's that's you're actually not choosing the person.
Speaker 1: You're choosing circumstance, you know. So, Um, for me, in
Speaker 1: my past and my history, UM, neither of those have
Speaker 1: scared me because I chose the person. So I would
Speaker 1: encourage guys to to look at that, and then women
Speaker 1: to look at that, like, I choose this person, and
Speaker 1: I'd have many friends who have I have a friend
Speaker 1: that just got married um recently whose partner has some
Speaker 1: health issues and they aren't concerned about it. They're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we know this, we were transparent about this. This is
Speaker 1: our life. I love this person. Um, life will continue
Speaker 1: with this person, and that's just part of our journey.
Speaker 1: You know, you accept that versus trying to change it.
Speaker 1: So if you choose the person, you accept that and
Speaker 1: you move forward with life. I find no issue. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like if you're looking when you're looking at
Speaker 1: a dating pool, very figuratively speech like speaking, if you're
Speaker 1: staring at a dating pool, you're not necessarily looking around.
Speaker 1: I never looked around cool. Who can I make a
Speaker 1: baby with? Who's completely healthy to have a life with.
Speaker 1: You look for somebody you connect with, right. You look
Speaker 1: for somebody that you know you're physically you're attracted to,
Speaker 1: and you love the personality and you love this about him,
Speaker 1: and you go through this cycle of dating and dating
Speaker 1: until you find the person that connects the most with
Speaker 1: you and you know your soul like your partner, and
Speaker 1: then everything else that comes on top of that. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not married to Sabina for the baby we might
Speaker 1: have one day. I'm married to Sabina because it's Sabina. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a that's a great point. That's a great lasting point. Wow,
Speaker 1: excellent Tori from Anna or Anna not too sure? What's
Speaker 1: the longest acceptable time to not have sex with the
Speaker 1: spouse or partner and it be okay? Whole depends on it,
Speaker 1: put a caveat on it depends if you are traveling,
Speaker 1: you know, like your your career. You said you you
Speaker 1: and Sabina live in different places back and forth, like
Speaker 1: especially when you would be touring or something. When I
Speaker 1: was playing hockey, Um, I was traveling a lot of
Speaker 1: let's just take that out of it. But if you
Speaker 1: are living in the same house, it's gotta be tough
Speaker 1: if you go over a month, Yeah, for sure. I
Speaker 1: mean life gets crazy, right, I mean we Sabine and
Speaker 1: I we haven't these two dogs, one dog I've had
Speaker 1: a fifteen years and then one dog that we just adopted.
Speaker 1: He's fifteen, found him for eight ten weeks. He's like
Speaker 1: a rehab project, trying to get him back up to
Speaker 1: a healthy anyways, and he's a lot of work, and
Speaker 1: there are a lot of work and we just candidly
Speaker 1: we just had to talk, like two nights ago, we're
Speaker 1: talking about when is the last time we had sex,
Speaker 1: and we guys like, is this what it's like to
Speaker 1: have toddlers? It's like, we have these kids that were
Speaker 1: taking care of the senior citizen dogs. And I think
Speaker 1: as long as yeah, as long as it's not something
Speaker 1: where you guys are one person is upset about it,
Speaker 1: you know, as long as it's not if it's something
Speaker 1: where you're so busy that you don't realize it, I
Speaker 1: think it's okay. But as soon as one person is like,
Speaker 1: why does this person not want to then it becomes
Speaker 1: an issue. Yeah. I also think you can prioritize it,
Speaker 1: like because I everybody talks about a work life balance
Speaker 1: or whatever, but there it's kind of just an integration
Speaker 1: of a back and forth. Like sometimes you might swing
Speaker 1: more into work, or like you said, it might be
Speaker 1: a busy time you're really writing a lot, you've got
Speaker 1: a couple or one new dog that you're really trying
Speaker 1: to rehabilitate, maybe some of your priority and your resources
Speaker 1: go there. But then it can also swing back to like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I now really want to connect with my wife, you know,
Speaker 1: and I want to focus on that and make at
Speaker 1: home date nights or your Sunday brunch thing and turn
Speaker 1: that into a romance or something like that. So I
Speaker 1: think I think sexuality is something that gets pushed down
Speaker 1: on the priority list on the totem pull for people.
Speaker 1: They're like work, kids, job, would ever got a clean house,
Speaker 1: get the groceries one of it. It's something that people,
Speaker 1: at least in my experience I have like pushed down
Speaker 1: versus holding up at the top, almost like living, eating, breathing. Um.
Speaker 1: So I think at some point you just have to realize, Okay,
Speaker 1: our connection has dissipated a little bit, Let's intentionally move
Speaker 1: back into this space, and even if we aren't feeling it,
Speaker 1: let's create even if it's not just naturally a pull
Speaker 1: like oh my god, we're all over each other, Let's
Speaker 1: create an atmosphere and environment or something where we are
Speaker 1: making time to be intentional about this and that can
Speaker 1: spark the natural poll too. Yeah. Absolutely, I would say
Speaker 1: you said a month, I'm saying two weeks. But I'm yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say two weeks a month. A month in
Speaker 1: the same house, in the same you know, constant, constant
Speaker 1: next to each other for a month without sex might
Speaker 1: seem like a long time to me. But I've also
Speaker 1: Spade and I the longest we've ever been together in
Speaker 1: the same in the house, it's just like three weeks
Speaker 1: around Christmas. Um, we're usually like on a on a
Speaker 1: five day rotation, you know, like give her take um.
Speaker 1: Whereas now we've been in the house for five months together, uh,
Speaker 1: for the first time ever. And but yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go two weeks, brooks aging. I agree with your two weeks.
Speaker 1: I think it's like alarms are sounded in a month,
Speaker 1: like we we But I agree with your two weeks.
Speaker 1: Two weeks. It's like, yeah, we should probably do something
Speaker 1: like I'd like some a month. It's like, oh, what's
Speaker 1: going on here? State of the Union? Okay? Next story.
Speaker 1: Next one is meg Montiana. How did men really feel
Speaker 1: about therapy? I'll talk about this one because I said
Speaker 1: this on the show. I've recently recently, like six eight
Speaker 1: months ago, I went to therapy, and call it what
Speaker 1: you want, therapy, counseling, um, you know, life counseling, whatever,
Speaker 1: life coach, whatever you want, Put any title you want
Speaker 1: on it. The stigma of therapy, I think shocks people.
Speaker 1: But after I saw this, I saw a woman I
Speaker 1: saw a guy and I saw a woman. UM to
Speaker 1: walk through trying to release hockey and some of the resentment, bitterness, anger,
Speaker 1: and and move through the the retirement process of hockey. UM.
Speaker 1: It was wonderful tool. It was amazing and every time
Speaker 1: I left, I was like, God, that was just an
Speaker 1: amazing conversation. I was able to express myself to somebody
Speaker 1: with an unbiased perspective. They asked me really unique questions.
Speaker 1: They had tools to try and pull more expression or
Speaker 1: emotion out of me that that maybe I had suppressed
Speaker 1: or it wasn't even aware that I was feeling. And
Speaker 1: so they were just equipped to have a very high
Speaker 1: level conversation with what I was going through. So I
Speaker 1: actually really enjoyed my my experience there and would be
Speaker 1: an advocate for it for anybody. Prior to that, I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't need therapy. I don't need this.
Speaker 1: I could deal with it. I deal with my own stuff.
Speaker 1: But after having gone to it, be advocate for it. Mhmm, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there is such a stigma about therapy. UM. I don't
Speaker 1: have the stigma about therapy personally. UM. I have never
Speaker 1: done an official like sit down therapy session. UM. But
Speaker 1: I'm completely not opposed to it, it just hasn't happened. Um,
Speaker 1: I yeah, I think therapy is incredible. Yeah, a couple
Speaker 1: of therapy, individual therapy, career therapy, whatever. People need to talk.
Speaker 1: Mental health is important, very important, and it's like, um,
Speaker 1: you know, if you want to improve your diet, you
Speaker 1: go to a dietitian or nutritionist. You know, if you
Speaker 1: want to get in better shape, you go to a
Speaker 1: physical train like a fitness trainer. You know, we don't
Speaker 1: do that for our emotions or our thoughts very much.
Speaker 1: And that's just what a therapist or counselor somebody is.
Speaker 1: There's somebody to help you move through what's going on
Speaker 1: in your heart and your mind. And I think, um,
Speaker 1: I think the stigma of therapy met people feel like
Speaker 1: they're broken or the you know, you're not broken. We
Speaker 1: all have doubts or concerns or is shoes that we
Speaker 1: want to process. This is just somebody to help you
Speaker 1: do that. So big, but develop on that. Why do
Speaker 1: you think men don't are as open to going to
Speaker 1: therapy in a generalized way because we think we're tough. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: while we can handle it. I'll deal with it, don't worry,
Speaker 1: I'll deal with. Like, we think we're tough. We UM
Speaker 1: guys are for the most part, very independent, guys want
Speaker 1: to solve issues themselves. There. For myself speaking, I'm very
Speaker 1: much an introvert um. You know, it's tougher for most
Speaker 1: men to express their actual truth and their feelings and
Speaker 1: be vulnerable and open up and cry and like let
Speaker 1: out their heart. It's tougher for men. UM. I don't
Speaker 1: know why. Truthfully, I don't know why. It wasn't something
Speaker 1: that my my dad told me you need to be
Speaker 1: this way or this is how a man acts. I
Speaker 1: don't know. We just it's just tougher for men. Yeah,
Speaker 1: uh yeah, there's the I mean yeah, I mean every
Speaker 1: man is right, and it's I don't really have many
Speaker 1: friends that open up about anything that's going on with them.
Speaker 1: You know, you gotta like, you gotta pride details out
Speaker 1: of you know, abuddy that's upset usually And yeah, to
Speaker 1: go and talk to a stranger sounds terrifying, but once
Speaker 1: you do it, everybody says it's incredible. It's um. Like
Speaker 1: you just said, Tyler, like, guys will get together, we'll
Speaker 1: talk about things, talk about the game, we'll talking about
Speaker 1: the new guitar. You guys, we're talking about the truck
Speaker 1: you're looking at getting or like what's going on? And
Speaker 1: talking about things we won't talk about, like how are
Speaker 1: you doing? Brother? Like how are you? How are you
Speaker 1: feeling with the uncertainty of losing the headlining tour and
Speaker 1: now having to perform from your couch? Like how is
Speaker 1: your heart doing? You know that guys don't generally do.
Speaker 1: I think females are far more advanced at that than males,
Speaker 1: you know, for sure. And it changes like an entire dynamic.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like anytime you're hanging out with the guys,
Speaker 1: it's always like a loud, rowdy, fun kind of experience.
Speaker 1: And then m as soon as somebody says something like that,
Speaker 1: like hey, how are how are you feeling? How's everything
Speaker 1: going on? You know, it's the whole mood. Everything's changes
Speaker 1: right away. And I think that's a change a lot
Speaker 1: of guys aren't comfortable with yet. Yes, great point. Well,
Speaker 1: this speeds in perfectly with Stacy. She asks how do
Speaker 1: I get my husband to open up more? He refuses
Speaker 1: to talk about his feelings. I really want to answer
Speaker 1: this question, Well, ty, do you have anything on it.
Speaker 1: I really want to honor this question. Yeah, honor the question.
Speaker 1: Sabina wants to get something out of it, like actually
Speaker 1: get me to open up and talk. She will. It's
Speaker 1: hard because I'm kind of a closed book a lot
Speaker 1: of the times, especially, and like even with her, like
Speaker 1: I'm not supposed to so, you know, be open with
Speaker 1: her about I'm feeling about everything. Um it's ah, it
Speaker 1: just goes back to the tough thing. Man. It goes
Speaker 1: back to the I've got this, I can handle anything.
Speaker 1: But when I do kind of break down and actually
Speaker 1: start talking to about stuff, it's usually um, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, she forces it out of me. So come
Speaker 1: and sit down and she'll be like you're talking to me,
Speaker 1: um or I'm not getting up. And but she can
Speaker 1: definitely tell like when a full mood changes, like if
Speaker 1: if someone's really bothering me. Mm hmm. It's that's a
Speaker 1: great question. It's hard, all right. So as a as
Speaker 1: a man, I wish I hadn't way more emotional capacity
Speaker 1: and emotional intelligence earlier in my life. And I really
Speaker 1: didn't really find it until um Tyler, we had two
Speaker 1: dogs and our dogs passed away, and once they passed
Speaker 1: my heart just broke open and it's the they just
Speaker 1: gave me such a gift, and it's a lasting gift
Speaker 1: that they gave me. There and that after that we
Speaker 1: had our our pastors say a prayer for him and said,
Speaker 1: I pray that this softens hearts, not harden's hearts. And
Speaker 1: it completely did that. The passing a Lexi and Harley
Speaker 1: completely softened my heart where now I am completely open
Speaker 1: to sharing everything inside of it. And it actually makes
Speaker 1: me proud to fully truly wear my heart on my
Speaker 1: sleeve that what you see is what you get. That
Speaker 1: I don't have to put on a facade or don't
Speaker 1: choose to hide anything or have to be protective or
Speaker 1: manly or macho like. Trust me, I can do that.
Speaker 1: I spent fifteen years on the ice with lions at
Speaker 1: the top level. I can do that. I don't need
Speaker 1: to prove that anymore. So for me, it's actually been
Speaker 1: amazing to like lower drop the armor and actually share
Speaker 1: my heart. Um. And I felt so much more alive,
Speaker 1: so much more expressed. Uh, so much less tension, so
Speaker 1: much less hate or anger or any anxiety. UM. I
Speaker 1: feel congruent, feel honest, and actually feel like you're honoring
Speaker 1: your partner. The person you're having that doesn't even have
Speaker 1: to be your spouse, could be just the person you're
Speaker 1: having that conversation with, you know. And I don't think
Speaker 1: anything has ever felt better than truly fully feeling fully
Speaker 1: expressed through my heart. UM. So I hope maybe Stacy
Speaker 1: play that clip for for your husband. But man, there's
Speaker 1: just so much greatness that comes. And I wish I
Speaker 1: didn't learn it until our our girls passed away, And
Speaker 1: I wish I was a better man and could have
Speaker 1: personally learned what that felt like. And that's why I'm
Speaker 1: just so grateful for the gift that they gave me
Speaker 1: and what I learned through that experience. But UM, I
Speaker 1: would say that a way to get a way to
Speaker 1: get a guy to open up, way to get your
Speaker 1: husband to open up, is exactly what just happened to
Speaker 1: have one of his friends another guy talk to him
Speaker 1: about how they've opened up and how it has helped
Speaker 1: their lives. Because hearing you just say that makes me
Speaker 1: want to open up more. It makes me want to
Speaker 1: go to therapy, It makes me want to talk to
Speaker 1: see more about stuff that's bothering. UM. Hearing how liberating
Speaker 1: it is to you and how it's uh, clearly just changed.
Speaker 1: You know, your mindset, your mental health, you're likely your
Speaker 1: physical health because I believe it's all you know intertwined. Um. So,
Speaker 1: if you can't get your husband to open up about stuff,
Speaker 1: you know, get one of your friends to inspire him
Speaker 1: to great answer. Wow, I hope that helps, Stacy from Clara.
Speaker 1: How do I create that spark in a marriage again?
Speaker 1: I've lost my spontaneous sexiness and he's lost his romance.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, mm hmm. Great question. I'm curious how long
Speaker 1: they've been married one. There's no no insight to that
Speaker 1: is there is Tori, there is not? Okay. Um And
Speaker 1: I think I think the same with anything, the same
Speaker 1: with if if you want a result in something, you
Speaker 1: have to put resources into it. You have to. Um.
Speaker 1: Let's be like, as an artist, you're probably not always creative,
Speaker 1: Like seven years on end? Are you always just creative?
Speaker 1: All songs come easy? They just come out of me,
Speaker 1: like all the time. No, it it leaves you and
Speaker 1: it finds you again. And and also like artists I
Speaker 1: think are exceptional that like I want to go here
Speaker 1: and write, I want to create an atmosphere and go
Speaker 1: to a place where I'm I just feel creative and
Speaker 1: creativity will come through me. Then, Um, I do that
Speaker 1: with my gym. You know, I'm I'm an artist in
Speaker 1: a different way. I create an atmosphere within the gym,
Speaker 1: And so when I show up into my gym, I'm
Speaker 1: not always just on fire ready to go, but like
Speaker 1: I create this space. I'll put on some music, I'll
Speaker 1: do some mobile and put resources into it and then
Speaker 1: that energy will come through me. So the same I
Speaker 1: think with marriage, within physicality and the marriage that you
Speaker 1: can create an environment, whether it's lower the lights, put
Speaker 1: on some light music, maybe get some flowers, maybe a
Speaker 1: cent in the house, maybe a bath, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: speak the love language of your partner, whatever that is,
Speaker 1: and actually put resources into creating this environment. Will be
Speaker 1: very intentful with it. Yeah. Um, and revisit, you know,
Speaker 1: like revisit old pictures, old videos. Um. Sometimes I'll go
Speaker 1: through my calendar and just look at random trips or
Speaker 1: like what we're to being and I doing this day.
Speaker 1: You know four years ago, what was going on in
Speaker 1: either your computer or your phone. You've got you know,
Speaker 1: you've got memories on there. Go back and revisit it
Speaker 1: and kind of what you're saying, where I don't just
Speaker 1: write songs all day, you know, it's gotta creativity comes
Speaker 1: from other creativity and stuff. And it's like, I've got
Speaker 1: to revisit if I'm feeling uninspired, if I just pick
Speaker 1: up my guitar and I just start playing it, or
Speaker 1: I start playing one of my favorite songs, or I'm like,
Speaker 1: I want to learn how to play this song on
Speaker 1: the radio. As soon as I start playing my own
Speaker 1: creative juices and ideas start coming um slowly but surely.
Speaker 1: And so if you sit on the outside and you
Speaker 1: look at yourself as a couple and you think, man,
Speaker 1: how do I get this spark back? What do I do?
Speaker 1: And you just sit there, it's never gonna happen, you know,
Speaker 1: Like it's it's slowly, it's it's little moves, it's a
Speaker 1: little revisiting things, it's a little dates again, and it's
Speaker 1: it's not gonna change overnight. You know, it's gotta you
Speaker 1: just kind of gotta enter your way back in, I guess,
Speaker 1: and then it's gonna explode. It's gonna go crazy. But
Speaker 1: I have like two thoughts to two other things upop
Speaker 1: my brain. I think one um is appreciation. I think
Speaker 1: sometimes appreciation is lost, and I think that can dimmer romance.
Speaker 1: And when you actually look at a person and and
Speaker 1: not for what they do for you, not for what,
Speaker 1: just like appreciating who that person is, um, loving that person,
Speaker 1: loving the way they are in the world, loving what
Speaker 1: they give to the world. Um. Just like full on
Speaker 1: appreciation I think can bring back that that romantic look
Speaker 1: at somebody. And then the other thing that I think
Speaker 1: that just popped in my brain is just like a
Speaker 1: little bit of a little bit of surprise and and
Speaker 1: spontaneity of like maybe you leave a little note here,
Speaker 1: you play a little sex game or something, or you
Speaker 1: make a little sex bed on something, or like just
Speaker 1: get playful again, right, like get playful again and whatever
Speaker 1: way that is for you for the couple, Like get
Speaker 1: playful in a way that actually brings some spontaneity, some
Speaker 1: laughter and some like just joy and connection back to
Speaker 1: one other. And then hopefully from that will stand more
Speaker 1: romance and more spontaneity and more connection. Yeah, absolutely all right.
Speaker 1: Next is from Carol. Do you guys care if a
Speaker 1: wedding is postponed due to coronavirus just like us girls care.
Speaker 1: I would say, yeah, I mean we just got married
Speaker 1: September of last year, and um, I'm assuming this question
Speaker 1: means does the groom care as much as the bride
Speaker 1: does that their their wedding got postponed. Um, I would
Speaker 1: say it's I mean, the wedding is supposed to be,
Speaker 1: you know, as exciting on both sides, um, And a
Speaker 1: lot of planning, you know, a lot of hard work
Speaker 1: and very strategic planning and very seasonal planning, and you know,
Speaker 1: it's a lot goes into a wedding. And I just
Speaker 1: I've thought about it so many times that if we
Speaker 1: would have got married this year and had to postpone
Speaker 1: everything we put into that wedding, it would be OK. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have friends that had to postpone their wedding in
Speaker 1: my heart absolutely breaks for them because reflecting on my
Speaker 1: wedding and how that was just the greatest time of
Speaker 1: my life, I just want everybody to have that experience
Speaker 1: and that memory of your world, her world, both worldwiding,
Speaker 1: the people you love the most in the world coming
Speaker 1: together to celebrate love. UM. I just want that for people,
Speaker 1: and it breaks my heart to hear weddings being postponed,
Speaker 1: and so my perspective would be, yeah, from the guy's standpoint,
Speaker 1: is as disappointing or saddening if the wedding has to
Speaker 1: be postponed. How much were you guys involved in your wedding?
Speaker 1: Did you guys have any groom duties? Like, I feel
Speaker 1: like I need to be honest. Men are as passionate
Speaker 1: about what the food is, what what song you walk
Speaker 1: down the aisle too. There's a lot of details women
Speaker 1: do that men aren't involved in. So if you're excited
Speaker 1: about it, what were you excited about for your wedding? Well,
Speaker 1: the involvement level went like it's like to me what
Speaker 1: There's also like a recognition like who's better at this?
Speaker 1: You know, like who's better at picking flowers or picking
Speaker 1: design of something or color matching or palette or like,
Speaker 1: let's be honest, I spent my life in a freaking
Speaker 1: hockey rink, right, like somebody better at that. Somebody's better
Speaker 1: at that than I am. Um. But then where I
Speaker 1: was helpful, where I was like, Okay, if you're stuck
Speaker 1: on a decision, full faith in you in what you're decided.
Speaker 1: But if you're stuck on a decision. Bring me two options,
Speaker 1: and I will help us hammer out a decision. Yeah. Man,
Speaker 1: So well, your wedding was one of my wife's favorite
Speaker 1: things she's ever seen, and so she bookmarked and pictured
Speaker 1: all these things, and she's like, I want this, you know.
Speaker 1: And then but choices and planning stresses to being out
Speaker 1: to the like the full extent of stress. And so
Speaker 1: she told me everything she wanted and we got, you know,
Speaker 1: an incredible wedding planner. H And I have been performing
Speaker 1: obviously my whole life, but I've been putting on events
Speaker 1: my whole life, you know. So planning and structuring and
Speaker 1: stuff has been part of my my whole existence. And
Speaker 1: so um, I actually found a lot of fun in
Speaker 1: the fact that I pretty much planned our entire wedding.
Speaker 1: It was super stressful, but I also, you know, it's
Speaker 1: a sli ish I'm looking around cause I'm afraid she's listening.
Speaker 1: If she looks at all of these choices, she would
Speaker 1: stare at him for hours, hours and hours and hours
Speaker 1: maybe days. Whereas and I can make an executive decision
Speaker 1: pretty quick. And if she didn't like it, you know,
Speaker 1: she wasn't she wasn't at the meeting. But the wedding
Speaker 1: was perfect. It was everything we could have ever imagined.
Speaker 1: And yeah, my heart goes out to everybody that has
Speaker 1: had to postpone, extremely sad. Yeah, this is the last
Speaker 1: question going out to all the men who are looking
Speaker 1: for their future bride. Some days from Heartbeak in two
Speaker 1: and one, advice on how to get out of the
Speaker 1: friend zone. Oh so this is a I is from
Speaker 1: a guy. I mean it goes either way to go
Speaker 1: for anybody stuck in the friend zone. Oh tailor as
Speaker 1: old as time. Um, honestly ringe when we get asked that, Tyler.
Speaker 1: Just the coldest, hardest, bitter truth is if you're in
Speaker 1: the friend zone, you're supposed to be personally my experience,
Speaker 1: it's and it's like and that doesn't mean friends can't
Speaker 1: eventually you know, phone of or that one person isn't
Speaker 1: you know. But I would say in most cases, if
Speaker 1: that person that you like is asking you for about
Speaker 1: other people because they're you know, dating other people, and
Speaker 1: you don't get that vibe at all, that like maybe
Speaker 1: they're shy to talk to you about it about you guys,
Speaker 1: then that means there's probably just not that same spark
Speaker 1: they're Unfortunately, I could be wrong. I'm just thinking of
Speaker 1: what what's his name in the movie The Ugly Truth?
Speaker 1: Where you did you ever see that? With Truth? It's
Speaker 1: kind of like perfect for this how men think um?
Speaker 1: With Gerard Butler? Correct Gerard Butler. Oh my god, Gerard Butler.
Speaker 1: It's so funny. And he literally just like he does
Speaker 1: this and he says something along those lines of you know,
Speaker 1: he's just not that into um. But let's say that
Speaker 1: there is something that could be there. But you're in
Speaker 1: the friend zone? Do you risk at all to try
Speaker 1: not to be um? Have you? Brooks's question for you?
Speaker 1: Have you ever been in that situation where somebody want
Speaker 1: to be more than friends with you and you blew
Speaker 1: them off or vice versa. Oh what a great question. No, man,
Speaker 1: I gotta go back into the drives because if we
Speaker 1: take are, if we take personal accountability for this, you
Speaker 1: might be able to give a better response. Um. I
Speaker 1: So I do agree with you. I think you're right.
Speaker 1: If you are in the friend zone, it means you're
Speaker 1: probably where you're supposed to be. But if it's a
Speaker 1: new friend, if it's an old friend you grew up with,
Speaker 1: that could change. But I feel like, if it's somebody
Speaker 1: new in your life, right, I actually think that way.
Speaker 1: I think if it's an old friend, you're probably there
Speaker 1: because you're supposed to be there. If it's a new one,
Speaker 1: you might have a chance to like switch it up.
Speaker 1: But I don't know, but I will say you agree
Speaker 1: with you. I do agree with you that if you're
Speaker 1: in the friend zone, it's probably where you're supposed to be.
Speaker 1: But as there's an exception to all rules, as they
Speaker 1: say or whatever. I know two people. I know somebody
Speaker 1: who was in the friend zone for twelve years, knew
Speaker 1: this girl for twelve years, was in the friend zone,
Speaker 1: saw countless boyfriends whatever, and ended up um proposing to her.
Speaker 1: They ended up dating. They ended up dating, ended up
Speaker 1: getting engaged. They're not Verry Corona and stuff. But they
Speaker 1: are now engaged. And he was in the friend zone
Speaker 1: for a decade plus. He this is what I would
Speaker 1: say to people. If you yeah, that's a question, how
Speaker 1: do you get out? He shot a shot, He shot
Speaker 1: He shot a shot multiple times. Actually tried once like
Speaker 1: five years ago and it didn't work, And then he
Speaker 1: tried again. She was single again a couple of years
Speaker 1: ago or something, and He's like, listen, I'm not just
Speaker 1: your friend, like I see you as more than that
Speaker 1: in my life, Like, why do you think I'm around you?
Speaker 1: Why do you think I'm invested in you? Like I
Speaker 1: I love you. I don't know if you said that
Speaker 1: on the first on that conversation, but like that was
Speaker 1: the intention. I see you as more than a friend. Um,
Speaker 1: And so he shot a shot. Man, I think, listen,
Speaker 1: if you never shoot your shot, it's never going to change.
Speaker 1: And at least you just got to shoot. And yeah,
Speaker 1: at least if you shoot your shot, you know, and
Speaker 1: you'd be like and you can be adults about you, like, hey,
Speaker 1: I tried. I had to try. I had to try,
Speaker 1: otherwise I maybe live with regret the rest of my life.
Speaker 1: The fact that I tried shouldn't make shouldn't end our friendship,
Speaker 1: you know, So you're not that kind of thing. If
Speaker 1: that did work to like that kind of a long
Speaker 1: friendship and then you guys start dating, that's uh, that's
Speaker 1: one of those probably moving quick situations. I would guess
Speaker 1: if you've got all that history, right, Uh, Tori, what
Speaker 1: about you? What about me? How would you answer that?
Speaker 1: If you are if you are a woman, and you
Speaker 1: are in a friend zone, and but you like this,
Speaker 1: if you if you are a woman, if I am
Speaker 1: being a woman hypothetically speaking very PC of you, um,
Speaker 1: I I am guilty of friend zoning a lot, friend
Speaker 1: zwing yourself or friend zwing guys, probably both ways. Um.
Speaker 1: But if I were a girl in a situation where
Speaker 1: I wanted to kind of like put myself back out there,
Speaker 1: I would just start asking for a lot of one
Speaker 1: on one time with that person, besides doing like group situations,
Speaker 1: just being like, hey, like the game's on, want to
Speaker 1: bring a beer over and watch or kind of whatever,
Speaker 1: just to ease my way in there. And then if
Speaker 1: you guys are like on the couch and maybe he
Speaker 1: sits closer to you, like, there's ways to inch that,
Speaker 1: but you have to get your alone time in their
Speaker 1: strategy and you gotta be you gotta be extremely strategic.
Speaker 1: And if they like that thing comes through that text
Speaker 1: comes through a friend of mine and says, hey, you
Speaker 1: want to come over and grab a beer and watch
Speaker 1: this game, I'm immediately going to think maybe this is
Speaker 1: maybe this is a is this like a subtle date
Speaker 1: kind of a solo hang And then you can easily
Speaker 1: say oh, I've got something going on to be busy
Speaker 1: and never even have to cross that road of having
Speaker 1: an awkward friendship moving forward, because none of us are dumb.
Speaker 1: We've been through this so many times. Uhumb just used lightly.
Speaker 1: Men are kind of oblivious. Let's just point that out there.
Speaker 1: I could be like, hey, leaning in for a kiss
Speaker 1: and they're like, all right, so you know later like
Speaker 1: she's not enemy, and it's like I gave you all
Speaker 1: the signs, all right, are you trying to smell my face?
Speaker 1: I would probably because I think I would. I think
Speaker 1: I'd be like terribly oblivious. Yeah, like truthfully, like I
Speaker 1: think i'd be terribly oblivious. Oh I didn't. Maybe now
Speaker 1: I'm better as I've gotten older, but like, oh when
Speaker 1: I was younger, for sure, like in my twenties, I
Speaker 1: probably didn't even have a clue what was going on.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's twenties. Is that's like a whole another lifetime though, right,
Speaker 1: All these answers, all these answers for me are coming
Speaker 1: from a thirty four year old male perspective, so different
Speaker 1: than in the twenties. What was our conversation the other day, Tory,
Speaker 1: we we're talking about like for a man if he's
Speaker 1: thirty four, you have to for a man, you have
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so for when you date a man, maturity wise,
Speaker 1: you subtract four years. So I'm twenty five. If I
Speaker 1: date someone who's twenty five, I subtract four years, so
Speaker 1: I'm really dating ad Yeah, got it, got it. It's
Speaker 1: pretty accurate. Thank you. Yeah. Research and they say girls
Speaker 1: are more mature. You have to add before correct. It's well,
Speaker 1: we're just perfect. So we just come perfectly package. We
Speaker 1: just run around it. Yeah. Um yeah, so that's I
Speaker 1: don't know, just shoot your shot. If anybody stuck in
Speaker 1: the friend zone, you have to. You just have to
Speaker 1: at least for one on one time, ask for one
Speaker 1: on one time. Yeah. I love that approach. I really
Speaker 1: love that approach. Um. And you know what, throwing it
Speaker 1: back again one of the other questions, and so we're
Speaker 1: talking about, Uh, ask them real, real questions, you know,
Speaker 1: not surface Get them to open up a little bit too.
Speaker 1: Hey how are you doing? Like, how is it this
Speaker 1: affecting your career right now? Um? And uh, the more somebody,
Speaker 1: the more I've opened up to people in the past,
Speaker 1: the more emotionally connected I've felt to him, and I
Speaker 1: think that's a pretty standard feeling. Uh So that's our
Speaker 1: that's our couple of tips of how to lure them
Speaker 1: in the friends Zone. I guess, well, the Vaughans and
Speaker 1: Friends Zone. Maybe we should do a whole episode Tori
Speaker 1: on the friend Zone. I love it. Everyone can relate.
Speaker 1: Everyone's been there, right, I appreciate your brother. Dude, you're
Speaker 1: great at this. You should like, no wonder you can
Speaker 1: tell they've been on camera and you've been like can
Speaker 1: You're fantastic? Like some people come on. You have to
Speaker 1: like get them to say something like you actually enjoy
Speaker 1: conversing and like being in front of an audience, and
Speaker 1: so you're you're great at Thanks. Yeah, I was sick
Speaker 1: of the whole time. I was like, I need better answers, teller,
Speaker 1: think better, think for what they want to hear. It's old.
Speaker 1: Then I'm like, they're relying on us right now. Think
Speaker 1: it's kind of the fun, Like it's kind of That's
Speaker 1: what I love doing the shows where our listeners send
Speaker 1: in questions and we get to answer because it just
Speaker 1: comes out organically, like and to try and honor the question,
Speaker 1: like how can we serve this person? How can we
Speaker 1: help this person see what like be inside a man's mind,
Speaker 1: like this is how we see things, um so. But
Speaker 1: it's also it keeps your knife sharp, you know when
Speaker 1: you do it live versus like, Oh that's why I like,
Speaker 1: I don't get the They send me the questions before,
Speaker 1: but I don't like reading them because I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just want to answer with like what's truthful and honest
Speaker 1: to me, versus curating some sort of answer. So, um so,
Speaker 1: I appreciate your willingness to answer them. Brother, Um, I
Speaker 1: think it's fun. Man. I've never done anything quite like that,
Speaker 1: so it's fun. So once again, where can people let's
Speaker 1: touch on this, where can people find you so they
Speaker 1: can tune into your your live at home Instagram? Yeah,
Speaker 1: every everything is just always under my name. So my
Speaker 1: Instagram is just Tylerer less m is rich uh spelled
Speaker 1: like rich um and everything Tyler's just across the board
Speaker 1: everywhere you can get music, all that good stuff beautiful.
Speaker 1: And then you go Thursday Friday. Do you put it
Speaker 1: out in advance or do you kind of just pop
Speaker 1: on like, hey, I'm live now, or do you will
Speaker 1: you say like akmorrow at this time, I'm going live? Um,
Speaker 1: I will usually drop the fields like home one UM
Speaker 1: a day before or the morning of UM. And then Sundays,
Speaker 1: unless I'm out of town or doing something, you can
Speaker 1: always pretty much count on our Sunday brunch happening UM,
Speaker 1: and that's always at one o'clock and it's fun. But
Speaker 1: if you're gonna watch our Sunday brunch, have liquor because
Speaker 1: it's a or some type of drink. And if you
Speaker 1: don't drink, that's fine. You know, you can drink whatever
Speaker 1: you want. But if you do drink, feel free to
Speaker 1: partake with us because even though we can't see you,
Speaker 1: it becomes a hell of a lot more fun when like,
Speaker 1: for instance, Brooks' I'm gonna drag you on. You're gonna
Speaker 1: be my surprise guest one of these times now, But
Speaker 1: so so you The deal is basically when we do
Speaker 1: this drinking trivia and I'll say, hey, everybody at home,
Speaker 1: it's watching. You're either team Brooks or your team Tabina.
Speaker 1: And to be if we have to take a shot,
Speaker 1: you have to take shot. If you have to take shot,
Speaker 1: they have to take shot. UM. And it's funny, man.
Speaker 1: People get people get hammered and they start like you're
Speaker 1: trying to answer the triviae questions in the in the
Speaker 1: commons threads, and um, it's a lot of fun. We
Speaker 1: have a good time. Yeah. The other day, I was
Speaker 1: at my lake house and I played a game with
Speaker 1: some friends. Um, I don't drink. It's something I don't drink.
Speaker 1: I haven't drank in a couple of years. Kind of things,
Speaker 1: just personal choice. But um, the friends I was with
Speaker 1: didn't drink. Um, I can't have a drink or not.
Speaker 1: I just whatever. I just prefer not to. But they
Speaker 1: don't drink. Um. But two of our friends really like
Speaker 1: energy drinks, you know, like Monsters, rock stars, whatever, rain whatever,
Speaker 1: like energy drinks. And we played this card game where
Speaker 1: when you lost, you had to take a shot of
Speaker 1: an energy drink. And I hate energy drinks. I never drink.
Speaker 1: I don't need the energy. But they're also just like
Speaker 1: not good for you. And we played this game where
Speaker 1: you had to take this shot the energy drink if
Speaker 1: you lost, and it was just a freaking nightmare. By
Speaker 1: the end of it. Everybody's just like fly, every just wired, wired,
Speaker 1: And it kind of just made it a fun stupid
Speaker 1: like it kind of elevated a stupid little experience, but
Speaker 1: it was it was actually really really enjoyable. And I
Speaker 1: haven't had a because I tried a red Bull when
Speaker 1: I was like twenty four, when I was playing hockey.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm tired and I might need a red Bull.
Speaker 1: I tried on my heart just about blew out my
Speaker 1: chest and I'm like, yeah, I can't drink that crap um.
Speaker 1: So I hadn't had one in like thirteen years. And
Speaker 1: then we tried like shots of an energy drink the
Speaker 1: other day and I was just like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: what was my life coming? Dude? Your body was probably
Speaker 1: going crazy. And then we've got you know, we've had
Speaker 1: guests on the show that you know, we've had musical
Speaker 1: guests at the end that are nineteen years old, you know,
Speaker 1: and like or just you know, some of my friends
Speaker 1: that don't drink and they come on and uh, they'll
Speaker 1: do you know, shots of iced tea or like thin.
Speaker 1: It's it's you know, it's not necessarily the alcohol. It's
Speaker 1: it's the engagement that's fun. Yeah, you should make them
Speaker 1: do not something nice though, they should do like a
Speaker 1: shot of vinegar or a shot of pickles or like
Speaker 1: something where it's like, oh, God, pickle juice. Pickle juice
Speaker 1: is the jam man our pickle juice like a pickleback
Speaker 1: is our favorite thing. I could drink pickle juice out
Speaker 1: of the jar. Oh my buddies. If somebody I was like, man,
Speaker 1: you gotta drink pickle juice. The shot is punishment, like
Speaker 1: as much as you want, man, jeez um. And then
Speaker 1: can you tell us about when Live at Home the
Speaker 1: EP is out on what is July thirty? Is this
Speaker 1: coming out? Yeah? So my whole idea with Live at
Speaker 1: Home was, I mean, obviously we don't have any end inside.
Speaker 1: We don't know when quarantine is gonna be over, we
Speaker 1: don't know when I'm gonna get to start touring again.
Speaker 1: And um, just kind of like an ode to all
Speaker 1: of the fans that have been tuning in every week
Speaker 1: to watch me play guitar on my couch. Uh. And right,
Speaker 1: a lot of people will go and they'll play the Rheman,
Speaker 1: or they'll do a big show and they'll release a
Speaker 1: live full band live from the Rieman. And I was like,
Speaker 1: when all this is over, you know, say a year
Speaker 1: from now, touring and stuff, there's gonna be a bunch
Speaker 1: of fans like, man, remember when Tyler. We just just
Speaker 1: watched Tyler hang out in couch play songs all the time.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to give them that as something to keep.
Speaker 1: So I recorded five songs at home. I don't know
Speaker 1: what I'm doing. I have zero technological education as far
Speaker 1: as recording. I just set up Mike's played five songs
Speaker 1: acoustic within saying no production, no edit, is just me
Speaker 1: and my guitar, quote unquote, live at home, and uh
Speaker 1: it's that comes out next week thirty one, super super
Speaker 1: a super stript. I love that because I think what
Speaker 1: I love about that and why I appreciate and respect
Speaker 1: that is I believe a musician should be able to
Speaker 1: sit there with their guitar and nothing else around them,
Speaker 1: no lights, cameras, dancers, fire works, whatever, and play music.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, like that's otherwise you're just kind of
Speaker 1: a performer, but not like like, give me a guitar,
Speaker 1: let me sit here, and I can entertain you without
Speaker 1: anything else around. That is an artist. That is true
Speaker 1: like honoring of the craft and then you can build
Speaker 1: the other stuff around you. But like, I just love
Speaker 1: that you're able to sit and do that. So I
Speaker 1: can't wait till it comes out. Anytime you want me
Speaker 1: to come on the brunch, I am there and also,
Speaker 1: like I have, I'm pretty busy, but I'm sure i'll
Speaker 1: find in phase space to be featured on your next album.
Speaker 1: Like we'll have to talk to Gav wanted me to
Speaker 1: be exclude, so you know, so, um, it is what
Speaker 1: it is. But we're all friends. And yeah, you know, Gavin,
Speaker 1: well this arm wrestler or something you know, who could
Speaker 1: take as many shots pickle juice. You know, we'll figure
Speaker 1: out a competition to earn your ear to earn your due. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Kyler rich my man, I appreciate you, wishing you and
Speaker 1: Sabinea the best. Also, I love that you have uh
Speaker 1: two dogs. I'm a husky owner myself, so amazing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're the best. She's walking around back there right now.
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me, man, this has been an absolute
Speaker 1: blessed Thank you, buddy. I appreciate your insight and love
Speaker 1: to have you back on the show and love to
Speaker 1: meet you when this whole thing kind of blows over,
Speaker 1: I come to Nashville or something hang out. Um and
Speaker 1: everybody that sent in your questions, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: The show was for you, guys. Thank you for sending
Speaker 1: in your questions. Continue to do so. Men at I
Speaker 1: Heart radio dot com is where you can email us
Speaker 1: until next week. Take care of one another, love one another,
Speaker 1: and we'll see you back here for another episode of
Speaker 1: How Men Think