WEBVTT - HOW-TO MINISODE WITH CARLOS WHITTAKER: How to human!

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<v Speaker 1>So what are we doing right now? Because I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like people got into this scared mentality of like, oh

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<v Speaker 1>my gosh, I have to hold so tight onto what's

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<v Speaker 1>mine and protect mine. And now it's like, that's not

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<v Speaker 1>that's not that's not how we flourish, that's not how

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<v Speaker 1>we thrive. And so with someone who has a tight

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<v Speaker 1>grip on their life, they're like, well, I can't. I

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<v Speaker 1>can't do this, Carlos, because you don't understand. My life

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<v Speaker 1>is too hard. Like if I if I lose grip

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<v Speaker 1>of anything that I have, or if I, like, if

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<v Speaker 1>I lighten up, or if I try to like get

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<v Speaker 1>outside of myself, it's all going to fall apart. Like

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<v Speaker 1>how someone who's so caught up in the scarcity mentality

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<v Speaker 1>and the fear mentality, how how does one start to

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<v Speaker 1>start to chip away at changing that? And I know

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<v Speaker 1>this is your book, so okay, let's do this. How

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<v Speaker 1>to be Human? How do you chip away at the

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<v Speaker 1>old limiting beliefs that do not serve us as humans

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<v Speaker 1>and us as a collective. How do we chip away

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<v Speaker 1>at these fearful judging Hey, hey, where we actually like

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes hate each other and don't even know each other?

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<v Speaker 1>How do we how do we shift that mindset and recalibrate?

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<v Speaker 1>And I know you talk about that in your book

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<v Speaker 1>How to Be Human, But like, what are some like

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<v Speaker 1>ways to just start stepping into that? Yeah? Uh, start

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<v Speaker 1>looking in the mirror more often than you're looking through

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<v Speaker 1>your telescope. Right, So it's like, okay, what is I mean?

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<v Speaker 1>I go through it in my book, like what is

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<v Speaker 1>the bias I have in my life? Like start asking

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<v Speaker 1>you and again this isn't I'm going to tell you

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<v Speaker 1>these things. But this isn't easy. I know people are

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be like, well, Carlos, that's not easy. I want

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<v Speaker 1>something easy. This isn't like like it's not you know,

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<v Speaker 1>but it is, um it is. It is going to

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<v Speaker 1>be so important to self reflect on exactly who we are.

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<v Speaker 1>So like, see your own bias biased me is like

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<v Speaker 1>what I don't like or what no bias biases? Is?

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<v Speaker 1>Uh something you believe about somebody else that isn't you

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<v Speaker 1>based on your own experience without like actually getting to

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<v Speaker 1>know So again, for instance, very you know I as

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<v Speaker 1>a black guy in the South, right, Like every time

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<v Speaker 1>I've been called the N word in the last few years,

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<v Speaker 1>you know that I've lived here in very traumatizing experiences, Dave.

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<v Speaker 1>It was every single time it was by like an

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<v Speaker 1>old white dude with like an American flag on their

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<v Speaker 1>bumper sticker or something. And so what what did that

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<v Speaker 1>do in me? It created a bias in me towards

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<v Speaker 1>old white dudes with life flags with the American flags, right,

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<v Speaker 1>And so that is a true bias in me. But

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<v Speaker 1>is that true about old dudes, most old dudes with

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<v Speaker 1>white American No, Like, that's not that's not true about them.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's a bias that was created because of true experiences.

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<v Speaker 1>So you know what I've gotta do is I've gotta

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<v Speaker 1>look that bias in the face and say, Okay, this

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<v Speaker 1>was true about six guys, but it's not true about

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<v Speaker 1>the rest of them, and I've got to break that.

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<v Speaker 1>I gotta break that. And so I just think if

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<v Speaker 1>we start looking at our own biases and we all

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<v Speaker 1>have them, I've got them, you've got them, everyone listening

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<v Speaker 1>to the podcast has them, and start calling them out,

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<v Speaker 1>facing them in the mirror. I think we're gonna start

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<v Speaker 1>to deconstruct some of those. But how do you protect yourself?

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<v Speaker 1>Because here it is, you've had six experiences with old

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<v Speaker 1>white dudes with American flags who called you the N word.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean that's something to make yourself want to be

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<v Speaker 1>protected against. And I feel like that that can be

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<v Speaker 1>Like the issue is like, how do you Yes, there's

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<v Speaker 1>a bias, rightly so, but how do we not have it?

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<v Speaker 1>How do you not walk into that? Well? You have

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<v Speaker 1>to protect you have to protect your I mean, listen,

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<v Speaker 1>don't stand on issues. I don't stand an issue. To

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<v Speaker 1>walk with people doesn't mean I'm going to place my

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<v Speaker 1>mental health uh in a in a in a bad place.

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<v Speaker 1>It doesn't mean I'm gonna go like like like, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not going to go find a KKK rally tomorrow and

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<v Speaker 1>walk in and go like, hey guys, my name's Carlos.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm ready to be your friend, right Like, No, there's

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<v Speaker 1>protections that have to place around my my mental health

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<v Speaker 1>in order to do this right. So we have to

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<v Speaker 1>be smart. There's gonna be people that you're not gonna

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<v Speaker 1>be able to walk with. There's gonna be people that

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<v Speaker 1>you're not going to be able to stand with. There

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<v Speaker 1>there will be, but there will be people that you can.

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<v Speaker 1>So again, just because you can't with one person doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>mean you throw the baby out with the bathwater. Find

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<v Speaker 1>those that you can. There will be ones that you

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<v Speaker 1>are able to stomach. Right, me and my best friend

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<v Speaker 1>on planet Earth stand on completely opposite sides of the

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<v Speaker 1>aisle politically, okay, like vehemently opposite sides, Like we we

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<v Speaker 1>really disagree on a lot of important things. Really jacked

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<v Speaker 1>us up our friendship. So you know what I said,

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<v Speaker 1>We're going to find something to root together with together on.

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<v Speaker 1>So we bought Nashville SC Soccer tickets and we go

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<v Speaker 1>on when Nashville st Is playing, we go to Joda's Park.

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<v Speaker 1>We stand next to each other and we high five

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<v Speaker 1>and we scream and we root for Nashville s C.

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<v Speaker 1>And what is that doing? We found something that we

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<v Speaker 1>can cheer for together and it's healing us. So I'm

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<v Speaker 1>walking next to him, I'm walking with him. Walking with

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<v Speaker 1>somebody doesn't mean changing their mind on something. It just

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<v Speaker 1>means walking with them. So how are we going to

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<v Speaker 1>seek this into the heads of the politics, like the

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<v Speaker 1>people who are actually running? And I know you have

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<v Speaker 1>Sharon Sesso as you are. I don't even know her

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<v Speaker 1>real name, but Sharon Sesso who is to be? I like,

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<v Speaker 1>don't follow a lot of news or media because I

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<v Speaker 1>don't like hearing all of the biased opinions out there.

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<v Speaker 1>But Sharon is the one I follow because I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like she gives the best factual information across the board

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<v Speaker 1>about what is happening in politics. And she knows everything

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<v Speaker 1>about history and laws, and you brought your forward, which

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<v Speaker 1>is amazing. So like, women, is it like people like

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<v Speaker 1>her that is going to just slowly change the higher?

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<v Speaker 1>I think? So I think, you know, um, I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's who we vote for, right, so like like like

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<v Speaker 1>we're actually in charge. So like what if you can't

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<v Speaker 1>like what if you can't stand with either one because

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<v Speaker 1>you're like that they both have Like that's where I

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<v Speaker 1>like this Mark rom Like there's like such downfalls to

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<v Speaker 1>like all of it, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, you

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<v Speaker 1>know there. I don't think there's gonna be a perfect solution, um,

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<v Speaker 1>and there's definitely not a perfect party, you know, but

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<v Speaker 1>but you have to I just think if we can

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<v Speaker 1>put more passionate, empathetic people that even that may vehemently

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<v Speaker 1>disagree with each other. But I mean I look at

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<v Speaker 1>that like nineteen eighties, like Tip O'Neil and Ronald Reagan.

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<v Speaker 1>Literally the Speaker of the House in the president United States,

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<v Speaker 1>vehemently opposing different political parties. Were best friends, like like

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<v Speaker 1>their kids called each other uncle's right. Like so it's

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<v Speaker 1>like it's possible to humanize each other while you still disagree, right,

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<v Speaker 1>And that's the part that we're missing. And so that's

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<v Speaker 1>what you're really trying to remind us all that, Like

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<v Speaker 1>we don't just have to hate each other, like literally

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<v Speaker 1>we can totally agree, but like I feel like that's

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<v Speaker 1>what's happened, Like we just hate each other. It's like

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<v Speaker 1>we disagree and then it just hate and then not

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<v Speaker 1>only just hate us, like that person needs to like

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<v Speaker 1>go down, you know. Yeah, that's true, and we can't.

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<v Speaker 1>We can't live it that way