Speaker 1: Find down with Janet Kramler and Michael Coffman and I'm
Speaker 1: her radio podcast.
Speaker 2: We're missing some gold because because Jana is making fun
Speaker 2: of our producer Mark.
Speaker 3: In fun of him, you know, we're all recording from
Speaker 3: our homes. And I just have like really grown to
Speaker 3: love mark ceiling fan. And I think it's a guy thing,
Speaker 3: like I think it's a it's a parent and and
Speaker 3: and guy thing, like guys love ceiling fans.
Speaker 2: Do you think it's I don't know if it's a
Speaker 2: guy thing. I know, Mark, to your defense, it wasn't
Speaker 2: until Jana and I got together that she was like, whoa,
Speaker 2: whoa woa ceiling fans. I was like, yeah, of course
Speaker 2: ceiling fans. And she's like, people don't do that.
Speaker 3: What do you mean people don't do that? But you
Speaker 3: don't see ceiling fans in houses now. Really they're more
Speaker 3: in like your parents' house.
Speaker 2: No, I mean, you've definitely conditioned me where now I'm
Speaker 2: judging Mcjudgerson, I'm like, ugh, how dare you ceiling fan?
Speaker 3: Like I get it for like outside and stuff. You know,
Speaker 3: I love a good sealing fan outside on the screen
Speaker 3: and porch, But I get it like I think that.
Speaker 3: I think what some fans are kind of cool like
Speaker 3: and if you have really tall ceilings like those living
Speaker 3: room fans from you know, those are kind of cool.
Speaker 3: But I don't know. Sorry Easton, what do you think
Speaker 3: about ceiling fans?
Speaker 4: I hate them. I hate them more than anything. We
Speaker 4: took them out as soon as we moved into this
Speaker 4: beautiful home. It was the biggest blemish on this work
Speaker 4: of art that's our our first home we bought together.
Speaker 4: We ripped those things out with prejudice, took them out.
Speaker 3: And why do you not like them so much? I
Speaker 3: would like to this. I feel like, by the way,
Speaker 3: this podcast is like a Seinfeld episode. We just talked
Speaker 3: about the most random things.
Speaker 2: And ceiling fans. Uh.
Speaker 4: You know, for being called a ceiling fan, I'm not
Speaker 4: a fan of them. It's they're Here's what I don't
Speaker 4: like about them. Here's my beef with the ceiling fan.
Speaker 4: I never know when they're on or off. They're always
Speaker 4: going at a weird speed. I never know if I've
Speaker 4: turned the monitoring.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 4: And I feel like, yes, they do circulate air light
Speaker 4: like fine, but I feel like our A C does
Speaker 4: just as good of a job. It doesn't look as bad.
Speaker 4: We can get much cuter lights. Uh, there's I mean,
Speaker 4: this was a ceiling fan at one point. Now it's
Speaker 4: you can't tell them the webcam, but it's a giant
Speaker 4: glowing orb. Now it's I don't know. I just feel
Speaker 4: like it limits you in the light department.
Speaker 3: I would have to agree, and Mark, you know what,
Speaker 3: I'm sorry if you're if you're the odd man out here,
Speaker 3: but I'm sure there's a lot of people on here
Speaker 3: that are on your side, are on team fan.
Speaker 5: There's two chains. One is for the light and one
Speaker 5: is for the fan.
Speaker 1: And I have never in my life guessed correctly right never,
Speaker 1: I will agree with that.
Speaker 3: It's so oh for one, it's so true. Mark, that
Speaker 3: is the most accurate thing ever, because it's like you're like,
Speaker 3: just right.
Speaker 2: All right, it's the one closest to the door next time,
Speaker 2: damn it. Well, welcome to another episode of Wine Down
Speaker 2: with Jenna Kramer and Michael Cousin. That's how we start.
Speaker 3: I love You're welcome. It's just cute. Yeah, no, I
Speaker 3: I anyways, fans, what else were we talking about when
Speaker 3: we started.
Speaker 2: This reading some of our book? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think we should Oh Costco. What happened?
Speaker 2: It's just Jana. I just got home, literally walked in
Speaker 2: the door five minutes ago from Costco, and Jane asked
Speaker 2: me how it was, and that's kind of out of breath.
Speaker 2: I'm just like Costco is overwhelming. It's just I feel
Speaker 2: like my head's on a swivel the whole time. Nothing's
Speaker 2: in the same place. The things that Jana asked me
Speaker 2: to get are like the smallest things that are possibly
Speaker 2: in Costco, like vitamin C gummies. You know, if I
Speaker 2: go to Public's or Whole Foods, I know exactly where
Speaker 2: they are. Go to Costco.
Speaker 3: Why do we have because I kind of fought you
Speaker 3: on the membership because I don't think we need the
Speaker 3: membership because we only get two things from Costco these
Speaker 3: Annie's cheddar.
Speaker 2: Puffs that which they didn't have, So what.
Speaker 3: Are you serious?
Speaker 2: I looked high, low, left, right, up, down, I mean
Speaker 2: I looked everywhere.
Speaker 1: That's the thing with Costco. It's a needle in a haystack.
Speaker 1: But they may have stopped selling needles, yes.
Speaker 3: One see, that's so frustrating. That's the only reason I
Speaker 3: really wanted you to go there and then to get
Speaker 3: the chicken nuggets, the chicken nuggets that we like from there,
Speaker 3: But like, why are we paying that much money for
Speaker 3: two things?
Speaker 2: That much money? It's like one hundred and twenty dollars
Speaker 2: a year.
Speaker 3: To me, that's see. So Michael and I have this thing,
Speaker 3: but that's still money that we're not using. Like it
Speaker 3: just bothers me. I don't like it. This is where
Speaker 3: I go, you know, I'm just.
Speaker 2: I did get like a twenty pound brisket that I'm
Speaker 2: going to cook because I made that one last weekend.
Speaker 2: It was amazing. And what else did I get?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Remember when we first went to Costco and I was
Speaker 2: complaining even on your Instagram about chicken bakes. Yes, and
Speaker 2: I was like, this is like really the only reason
Speaker 2: I wanted to become a member was to get a
Speaker 2: chicken bake that you get at the little food place
Speaker 2: after you check out. Well, to my surprise, I'm standing
Speaker 2: in line. I look up. There it is. It's on
Speaker 2: the menu.
Speaker 3: It's back wow, gripping.
Speaker 2: So this a three ninety nine piece of heaven. I
Speaker 2: go to the Kiosk, I order one, but the groceries
Speaker 2: in the car I'm ready to take a big old
Speaker 2: bite out of thing. Take a big old bite. It
Speaker 2: tasted like it's been marinating in the ocean water for
Speaker 2: sixty days. Salt. This like. I couldn't get home fast
Speaker 2: enough to get something to drink because I had nothing
Speaker 2: in the car. I was like, this is not what
Speaker 2: I remembered when I was ten and going to Costco
Speaker 2: with my parents.
Speaker 3: Did you eat it?
Speaker 2: I ate half of it, and I was like, I
Speaker 2: can't even do this.
Speaker 3: Oh that's so nasty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so interesting. Anyways, that was my morning. Huh huh.
Speaker 2: But I did want to start this episode off with
Speaker 2: a more sentimental note until we got got into it.
Speaker 2: Shots fired, shooting at Mark and talking about Costco. Sentimental, yeah,
Speaker 2: or just I think it's a good setup for stuff
Speaker 2: that we may read about our book.
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, Like you said you wanted to bring something
Speaker 3: up that was like sentimental.
Speaker 2: I think yeah, amidst laughter, No, I think it's you know,
Speaker 2: sometimes we get away from some relational stuff on here,
Speaker 2: besides emails or dms that we bring up. But I
Speaker 2: think it's important, you know, because our whole thing is
Speaker 2: talking about stuff we deal with and being open and everything.
Speaker 2: And I was just driving around town today and you know,
Speaker 2: there's some physical triggers around town where it's just like
Speaker 2: emotional for me, where it's man, I remember staying in
Speaker 2: this hotel when shit went down, and you know, thinking
Speaker 2: my life was over and our marriage was over, and
Speaker 2: our family was over, and you know, and then thinking
Speaker 2: about all the negative things that I've done to her,
Speaker 2: you and to hurt this family. And I think my
Speaker 2: point is, you know, I try to do a good job.
Speaker 2: I need to do better at acknowledging these things. Doesn't
Speaker 2: have to be on a super regular basis, but at
Speaker 2: least bring them to your attention, to let you know
Speaker 2: that I am thinking of them, that I'm not just
Speaker 2: moved on past them and everything's fine and there's no
Speaker 2: worry in the world and it's just normal, you know.
Speaker 2: But I am sorry for creating, you know, that environment
Speaker 2: and these feelings that we have around whether it's physical
Speaker 2: triggers or just emotional triggers or whatever it is. Because
Speaker 2: I know it's hard to you know, to be married
Speaker 2: to me. I know it's hard to be married to
Speaker 2: someone who's caused you hurt and pain, no matter what
Speaker 2: the situation for anybody, And so I just think my
Speaker 2: suggestion suggestion to couples or people in coupleship listening to
Speaker 2: this is just lean into your partner about things that
Speaker 2: you might have done to harm them or harm your relationship,
Speaker 2: even if it's not as obviously not as deep as
Speaker 2: our wounds, but something service level where a fight you
Speaker 2: had recently and just even if you feel like it's
Speaker 2: been resolved, go back and just own your part again
Speaker 2: or something, you know, just because that just anytime I
Speaker 2: do that to you, you just you affirm me how
Speaker 2: much that means to you that because then you don't
Speaker 2: feel I I can't speak for you, but usually what
Speaker 2: you tell me is then you don't feel alone and
Speaker 2: like the feelings that you feel and stuff. So no,
Speaker 2: I just felt myself like getting emotional when I was
Speaker 2: driving home. Of just fortunately it wasn't much shame, it
Speaker 2: was just pain. It was just like, damn, like sucks
Speaker 2: that I cause this, you know, sucks that we have
Speaker 2: to feel as sucks that we have to some of
Speaker 2: the issues that we deal with. But you know, so
Speaker 2: I just want to come home and tell you that
Speaker 2: and just ingratitude that I'm thankful that we're doing what
Speaker 2: we're doing.
Speaker 3: Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it, and it does help,
Speaker 3: you know, because sometimes contrary to what maybe some people
Speaker 3: may say, like I don't bring it up every day
Speaker 3: how I feel it, you know, and sometimes I don't
Speaker 3: talk about it for weeks, and I think when knowing that,
Speaker 3: like you also recognize a pain, it's nice to know that,
Speaker 3: like I'm not alone in certain pains some days. So
Speaker 3: that's a nice So I really appreciate that.
Speaker 2: For sure.
Speaker 3: We never talked about it, but I'm curious if you
Speaker 3: would share on here. Did you ever figure out your
Speaker 3: man period?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: So that to like make like fun of it. But
Speaker 3: like the other day, Michael was like, I think I'm
Speaker 3: on my man period.
Speaker 2: So I have a name for it, Oh okay, which
Speaker 2: my therapist called it menopause. No, uh, it's my my comma,
Speaker 2: my comma. You guys have periods.
Speaker 3: Interesting because it was just so like, you know, because
Speaker 3: I could tell it you were in a little you
Speaker 3: were just quieter that day, and you know, you were
Speaker 3: kind of teary eyed when you were telling me like,
Speaker 3: I don't know, but I just feel like I'm on
Speaker 3: my period. But I like it. You're You're on your comma.
Speaker 3: So what is a comma?
Speaker 2: It's the male version of the period. Just sometimes you
Speaker 2: just have those days it just emotionally hits you. You
Speaker 2: don't know why.
Speaker 3: So there wasn't anything under it, not that.
Speaker 2: You can put your finger on. It was you know, uh,
Speaker 2: issues that are there always. But I think it was
Speaker 2: just just one of those days. I just as sad
Speaker 2: as it sounds, it was just one of those days.
Speaker 2: It was hard being me describe because of like my
Speaker 2: pain and shame, guilt of things that I've done, of
Speaker 2: things I haven't done, of just where it's just like
Speaker 2: most of your like you took it on. You wore that, Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like I wore it like instead of just powering through
Speaker 2: like I usually do, or it not affected me, or
Speaker 2: it being a fleeting thought or whatever. You know me,
Speaker 2: I'm naturally an optimistic, positive person. So it was just
Speaker 2: I don't know, it was just one of those days
Speaker 2: I just couldn't.
Speaker 3: You tried it out in it and you let it
Speaker 3: hang on you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you wore it. Yeah. So I mean everyone has
Speaker 2: can have those days and where it's just I'm sure
Speaker 2: to some people it makes a lot of sense. How
Speaker 2: I say, it's just hard being me, Like you know,
Speaker 2: to some people it might not make sense, like if
Speaker 2: they say that to themselves. But some can sit there
Speaker 2: and be like, yeah, it is hard being me today
Speaker 2: for whatever reason, because of stresses, because of responsibilities, because.
Speaker 3: Of depression, anxiety.
Speaker 2: Depression anxiety, clinical issues, addiction, whatever it is. It's just
Speaker 2: something that we're all allowed to have. That we're all
Speaker 2: allowed to have that day. Now you don't want to
Speaker 2: stay in it because then there's more issues around that.
Speaker 3: How long is your man comma?
Speaker 2: It was just that day, that day, Yeah, I'm good.
Speaker 3: Now it is interesting too, And I feel like almost
Speaker 3: the timing of your comma was, you know, the night
Speaker 3: before we had like a conspiracy theory party where I
Speaker 3: wouldn't say party, but like just a get together with
Speaker 3: friends and we you know, just kind of had talked
Speaker 3: about things and it started to just I mean, I know,
Speaker 3: some of the conversations we were having about anti vaxxers,
Speaker 3: verse vaccinations, and you know, and just other things that
Speaker 3: like you've always thought and then someone's being like, well
Speaker 3: here's this and having that debate and then you just
Speaker 3: kind of like go to bed and you're like, has
Speaker 3: everything I've learned the last thirty six years of my
Speaker 3: life a lie you know, and just trying to differentiate
Speaker 3: between that. I figured I make up that that could
Speaker 3: cause like the heaviness as well.
Speaker 2: The next day, well for sure, especially when we touched
Speaker 2: on topics like you know, the Epstein Island and Pizzagate
Speaker 2: and the Wayfair stuff, and it's just I mean, you
Speaker 2: saw me getting animated where it's just and again, all
Speaker 2: of this was just We're just having healthy conversation with
Speaker 2: like three other couples and it was just we're all
Speaker 2: close friends, so no one's taking it personal or debating.
Speaker 2: We're just sharing our our beliefs or thoughts or whatever.
Speaker 2: It was just it was interesting. But when it comes
Speaker 2: to the kids stuff, it just I it just it
Speaker 2: just gets me. Yeah, you know what I mean, it
Speaker 2: just it absolutely destroys me internally, and it's like I'm
Speaker 2: naive where I want to believe that there's humanity is
Speaker 2: better than that overall, but the fact that there's so
Speaker 2: many people involved with all that, it just makes me.
Speaker 2: It made me sick.
Speaker 3: Well, moving on, let's get on to some other topics,
Speaker 3: but let's first take a break.
Speaker 2: Hey, Mark, do we have any emails?
Speaker 5: We do have emails. One actually mentions me by a name, which.
Speaker 2: Is very nice. Definitely do that one all right.
Speaker 1: It's from anonymous. She says, I'm pregnant and do soon
Speaker 1: with my second child. This pregnancy has been a struggle
Speaker 1: with so much, with so much anxiety surrounding the pandemic.
Speaker 1: We haven't seen our own parents, who all live pretty
Speaker 1: close by. I thought about the time I was ready
Speaker 1: to give birth, it we'd be in better shape, but
Speaker 1: it seems to have gotten worse for us here in Florida.
Speaker 1: One of my concerns is having or possibly not having
Speaker 1: visitors when we come home from the hospital.
Speaker 5: I don't know how much my parents.
Speaker 1: Are siblings would take it if we decided to keep
Speaker 1: my family away for a certain amount of time. Do
Speaker 1: I give a specific time frame, play it by ear
Speaker 1: as to when we feel comfortable, allow them to come
Speaker 1: over with masks sound, or just allow them to come.
Speaker 5: Over and hope for the best.
Speaker 1: I don't know if my reaction to want some time
Speaker 1: is a bit over the top or more of a
Speaker 1: normal reaction during a pandemic. I'd love to get some input,
Speaker 1: and I'm curious to know what Mark has to say.
Speaker 2: Did she say this is their second child? Yes, and
Speaker 2: they live away from them, yeah, but not terribly.
Speaker 5: Far away from them.
Speaker 3: I mean, Mark, I would like to know what you think.
Speaker 5: I think there's a way to do this. I think
Speaker 5: it would be.
Speaker 1: Here's the problem is, there's a major spectrum of how
Speaker 1: people tackle the pandemic. And it's not just the people
Speaker 1: who say it's all a hoax versus the people who
Speaker 1: never leave their house.
Speaker 5: There's everything in between as well.
Speaker 1: And if you are farther towards the careful side, you're
Speaker 1: going to be made fun of by the people that
Speaker 1: are closer towards the other side. No matter where each
Speaker 1: of you fall on the spectrum, it seems like people
Speaker 1: roll their eyes even if you're wearing a mask. Everywhere
Speaker 1: you go, the person with a face shield, you roll
Speaker 1: their eyes with them, you know what I'm saying. Like
Speaker 1: you judge everyone else on the spectrum. So if you
Speaker 1: say to your parents or your husband's parents, you cannot
Speaker 1: come over and see the newborn, I'm not comfortable.
Speaker 5: They're not going to be happy with that. But I
Speaker 5: think there is a safe way to do it.
Speaker 1: I think if you do it in your yard, if
Speaker 1: you do it outside and there are masks, I think
Speaker 1: it will be fine. I do think that that's the
Speaker 1: new world we live in, that we can go to restaurants,
Speaker 1: but it has to be outsided in masks.
Speaker 5: My daughters can go to dance class, but it.
Speaker 1: Has to be outside and in masks. That's the world now,
Speaker 1: and I think that I don't think that's dangerous. I
Speaker 1: think you're gonna be okay. And yeah, they might not
Speaker 1: be thrilled about it, but it's better than not seeing
Speaker 1: their new grandchild.
Speaker 2: Honey. I agree, Yeah, I mean, I agree, it's it's
Speaker 2: a spectrum. I mean, the thing is is ultimately comes
Speaker 2: down to her and her husband what they feel most
Speaker 2: comfortable with. Like, I would never want someone to fault
Speaker 2: us for being like that. But at the same time,
Speaker 2: when it's your family and you're not in a different
Speaker 2: state and you still see them from time to time,
Speaker 2: they're still in your circle of people you see on
Speaker 2: a regular basis. Now, you don't want the brand new
Speaker 2: friends you just meant to come over and see them.
Speaker 2: But if it's the people you see on a more
Speaker 2: regular basis, I don't see the issue.
Speaker 3: I agree, all right, I got something good from our
Speaker 3: book that I want to read.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what you got? Where's it at?
Speaker 3: So? I'm going to only read some of it because
Speaker 3: I want you guys to finish it. I'll stop and
Speaker 3: then i'll show you where to pick up. Okay, page
Speaker 3: thirty three. Okay, So again I'm only giving. And there's
Speaker 3: something so juicy that we have not told anybody. After
Speaker 3: this part, I'm going to read you the beforehand to
Speaker 3: get you hooked, and then you're going to go on
Speaker 3: Amazon or on Mike dot com you can get the book.
Speaker 3: Here we go. I remember when I heard your side
Speaker 3: of the street in therapy. I quickly replied, oh, my
Speaker 3: side of the street is shiny and clean, thank you. Next,
Speaker 3: it's easy as hell to point the finger at the
Speaker 3: other person, and I did it for years with Mike.
Speaker 3: I would always think, well, he's the one who looked up,
Speaker 3: so why do I need to look on my side
Speaker 3: of the street when I've done nothing wrong. It's a
Speaker 3: very narrow minded response, I know. And even though yes,
Speaker 3: I technically did nothing wrong to cause his affairs, how
Speaker 3: I handled our repair is now part of my side
Speaker 3: of the street. You can play the blame game and
Speaker 3: point fingers for only so long. But this realization was
Speaker 3: slightly annoying for me at first. And took some time,
Speaker 3: but I knew the marriage wouldn't work out if I
Speaker 3: didn't put the pointer finger away and start cleaning my
Speaker 3: side of the street.
Speaker 4: So how did I do that?
Speaker 3: What does that look like look like in action? And
Speaker 3: how did it make me feel? How did it help us? Well?
Speaker 5: For me?
Speaker 3: This happened while I was doing Dancing with the Stars,
Speaker 3: which began only a few weeks after we separated. Mike
Speaker 3: was in rehab and I was in an all out
Speaker 3: war with my emotions. Most days I would push Mike
Speaker 3: out of my brain and try to live in the
Speaker 3: world as if he didn't exist. Other days I was
Speaker 3: too weak to push and I missed him, and I
Speaker 3: hoped he would be in the audience watching me perform,
Speaker 3: rooting for me, regardless of how I was feeling. Whenever
Speaker 3: he would call me from rehab, I would lash out
Speaker 3: at him, tell him I didn't want anything to do
Speaker 3: with him. I would hang up and realize that I
Speaker 3: had no idea what direction my life was headed in
Speaker 3: or what I should do. The only times that gave
Speaker 3: me calm was when I looked at our baby girl.
Speaker 3: I knew that, regardless of the outcome, I wanted the
Speaker 3: best for her. One night We've never shared this. One night,
Speaker 3: immediately after I'd finished doing the jive on the show,
Speaker 3: my manager Catherine sat me down and said, Mike filed
Speaker 3: for divorce. I thought he did what. I called him, screaming,
Speaker 3: how could you file for divorce? That's what I'm supposed
Speaker 3: to do? How dare you? He replied with Jana, you
Speaker 3: won't let me see our daughter. It's true. When he
Speaker 3: had called asking to see her, as it had already
Speaker 3: been two months since their last visit, I was so
Speaker 3: desperate to keep close to me. The one thing that
Speaker 3: brought me calm that, even though I knew it was
Speaker 3: wrong and would hurt him, I said he couldn't see
Speaker 3: her until I finished filming, which could take a month. Suddenly,
Speaker 3: thinking about raising our daughter separately and the beginning of
Speaker 3: separate parenting, separate holiday, separate everything, a voice in my
Speaker 3: head finally spoke up in defense of this man in
Speaker 3: our marriage and Jolie. I knew what I wanted, No,
Speaker 3: I said to him, I want to try. And then
Speaker 3: from there I go into other things that I had
Speaker 3: to own, that I did wrong and that I needed
Speaker 3: to own, and stuff that I still don't want to
Speaker 3: say own the mic yet, so I really encourage y'all
Speaker 3: to buy the book because that's the only way you're
Speaker 3: going to hear it. Michael, would you like to do
Speaker 3: the rebuttal of that part? Yeah, the mic part.
Speaker 2: There were so many days, absolutely, There are so many
Speaker 2: days during the first year of our reconciliation after discovery
Speaker 2: of my affairs, when we thought what the fuck is
Speaker 2: going on? Honestly, most days were like that. We said
Speaker 2: so many hurtful things during those dog days, especially me. Unfortunately,
Speaker 2: when I began to get defensive and go into a
Speaker 2: place of shame, my initial reaction is to get mean
Speaker 2: and nasty and verbally fighting back, which is absolute, which
Speaker 2: is absolutely the last thing Janet deserves after what I
Speaker 2: have already put it through. Needless to say, so many
Speaker 2: days were filled with pain, hurt, sadness, and despair. There
Speaker 2: isn't an adjective in the English dictionary that describes how
Speaker 2: hard it was or how unattainable that so called light
Speaker 2: at the end of the tunnel seemed. But even throughout
Speaker 2: those days of misery, we were both still there. We
Speaker 2: both continued to show up, despite the fact that all
Speaker 2: it would take to end that pain was the signature
Speaker 2: at the bottom of divorce papers. We just kept showing up.
Speaker 2: But the more therapy we went to, the more tools
Speaker 2: we learned and began practicing with one another, and more
Speaker 2: we saw that light that once seemed unattainable. That's how
Speaker 2: we knew it was all worth it. It was never
Speaker 2: an Aha moment. It was about getting down and dirty
Speaker 2: with one another, trudging through the darkest time of our lives.
Speaker 2: Nowhere was dirty or during those days than my side
Speaker 2: of the street. And like every act of serious, deep cleaning,
Speaker 2: sometimes it could be daunting. In my case, some days
Speaker 2: it was daunting to the point of paralysis. But the
Speaker 2: promise of keeping my side of the street clean was
Speaker 2: ultimately the reason I was able to stay. Now, some
Speaker 2: of you may scoff at my saying that I chose
Speaker 2: to stay. Some of you are probably thinking he was
Speaker 2: the one who looked up. Why would he consider not staying?
Speaker 2: I get it, and Janet even said that to me
Speaker 2: your time or two. But it takes work on the
Speaker 2: part of both people to make a relationship worthwhile.
Speaker 3: Boom, go get your book mark. Are you so excited
Speaker 3: for all the juicy details that are.
Speaker 5: To come that's pretty good, pretty good stuff.
Speaker 3: I'll never forget when that happened.
Speaker 2: I was so that call when you called me.
Speaker 3: Oh, I was furious and you're like, well, it's just
Speaker 3: like it's just you know, we can always go I
Speaker 3: was like, you don't understand if I if I now
Speaker 3: like and put it in papers too. I was like,
Speaker 3: it's done. There's no going back. Like my lawyer wouldn't
Speaker 3: have it like we would. We would just go for it.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I want to see my daughter.
Speaker 2: It's been seventy days.
Speaker 3: Well, you could have called me and told me.
Speaker 2: I tried, you kept hanging up and mothercking me.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying next time. You could have been like
Speaker 3: if you don't like you, I would have liked the threat.
Speaker 2: Okay, fine, no the threat. No, you wouldn't even take
Speaker 2: my call. So I didn't. I couldn't even get the
Speaker 2: threat across and then go ahead.
Speaker 5: When she called when she said I want to try,
Speaker 5: what was your reaction like? Was it relief? Was it
Speaker 5: excitement or.
Speaker 2: Was it She didn't say she said it to herself.
Speaker 2: She will so you no.
Speaker 3: What I said to him, I was like, you have
Speaker 3: to reverse it. If you do not reverse this divorce
Speaker 3: right now, like you do not understand, I'm gonna have to,
Speaker 3: like because my lawyer was like, you need to file now,
Speaker 3: and I was like and and my friend Catherine was
Speaker 3: just like, but isn't this what you want? And I'm like,
Speaker 3: I don't know what I want, Like I don't know.
Speaker 3: I just know that I don't want to make such
Speaker 3: a like rash decision. And if he files, then I
Speaker 3: have to like counter file. And I'm like, I just
Speaker 3: need him to just stop and like reverse this. And
Speaker 3: he's like, well, I can't reverse it, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: then then we're done. And he's like, well, what do
Speaker 3: you want. I'm like, I just need more time, like
Speaker 3: and that was like, honestly what I need. In that moment,
Speaker 3: I was like, I like, just reverse it and then
Speaker 3: we can sit and talk because I haven't I hadn't
Speaker 3: seen him face to face. I'm like, it just was like,
Speaker 3: if you do this now, we are done. So if
Speaker 3: if you go forward with this tomorrow morning, there will
Speaker 3: be a reverse like there will be me counters divorcing
Speaker 3: you and we are done. And he's like, well, we
Speaker 3: can take it off the table. I was like, you
Speaker 3: don't understand and there's you can't take that off when
Speaker 3: I'm when I file, it's done.
Speaker 2: Legally, you can take it off the table can.
Speaker 3: But like then you know, it's not like it's like,
Speaker 3: oh you filed, it's papers and like you don't get it,
Speaker 3: like you don't get the like the weight of all
Speaker 3: that stuff, like it's just for me. It's just like
Speaker 3: it's it's it's emotionally like like don't do that, like
Speaker 3: let's just.
Speaker 2: Take I wasn't doing it as a game. I was
Speaker 2: just forcing your hand. I was just like, all right,
Speaker 2: if you're not gonna let me see my daughter, I
Speaker 2: need to do what I need to do to protect
Speaker 2: myself and see.
Speaker 3: Her well and left the call before Janna.
Speaker 2: Even goes, well, if you really wanted to see her,
Speaker 2: you're just shown up, and she was I was like really,
Speaker 2: I was like, you won't even take my phone call
Speaker 2: or text message and you just want me to surprise.
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 3: I just would have liked it more of a like, hey,
Speaker 3: I'm going to file if you don't let me say,
Speaker 3: and I'd have been like okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. No,
Speaker 3: you wouldn't have you'd have been like you said you
Speaker 3: were going to file one thousand percent, because that's not
Speaker 3: what I wanted.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't believe me. You wouldn't believe me, and you
Speaker 2: would have been like, F you you don't get the file,
Speaker 2: a'll file.
Speaker 3: I probably would have yes, like I know you where
Speaker 3: I was at then? Yeah, sure, you know what.
Speaker 2: I don't think I've I don't know if I shared
Speaker 2: this on here or not. I don't know. So were
Speaker 2: you reading that stuff when you're talking about dancing in
Speaker 2: the stars reminded me of this sad, sad memory of that.
Speaker 2: And it was when it was when was it that
Speaker 2: you guys danced at the Grove? Were you already voted off?
Speaker 3: I was voted off? It was that was the finale
Speaker 3: and I was singing right, that was it? That hurts
Speaker 3: my heart too, I know.
Speaker 2: So at that point I was in la with them.
Speaker 2: It was a finale. I'd gone. You had me at
Speaker 2: one show, the show that.
Speaker 3: We really messed up on the semi finals where I
Speaker 3: like fell, blood.
Speaker 2: Fell, Yeah, Glove was Glove was nervous. Oh Jesus, the
Speaker 2: man was back. No, it's uh, it was it was
Speaker 2: a finale and you know you had some of your
Speaker 2: girlfriends there and like your former music manager and stuff
Speaker 2: like that, and they were all with you, and I
Speaker 2: was just kind of that whole time. I was just
Speaker 2: uncomfortable being there anyway around you and around your people
Speaker 2: and stuff. So they all were like inside the gates
Speaker 2: at the Grove like with you. I was not. So
Speaker 2: I'm at the Grove trying to find a space to
Speaker 2: watch I'm at that uh, that Italian restaurant there on
Speaker 2: the corner right by where the fountain is where they
Speaker 2: put the stage, and I'm like trying to find a
Speaker 2: place to get close and see her. And so I
Speaker 2: go upstairsly this like second floor balcony that kind of
Speaker 2: overlooks it. I was like, oh, this perk spot just
Speaker 2: kind of stand here in this corner. And this guy
Speaker 2: that's i don't know, working security or something comes over
Speaker 2: to me and he's like, hey, this is like a
Speaker 2: private party up here. You can't be up here, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm sorry to intrude. I was like,
Speaker 2: my wife is gonna sing. She's right down there, like
Speaker 2: she's gonna sing, like you know. I just wanted to
Speaker 2: get spot to watch her. And he was like no, no,
Speaker 2: like you can't be up here. So I was like,
Speaker 2: I get it, but my wife. He's like, if that
Speaker 2: was your wife, you would be down there. And I
Speaker 2: was just like and so I just walked away. I
Speaker 2: went downstairs, and I just left the grove and I
Speaker 2: was just I just walked till I met you. Tell
Speaker 2: you guys were done, and I met you guys back
Speaker 2: at your trailer. I was able to get back around there,
Speaker 2: but just having that guy look at me like I
Speaker 2: was just so small and just insignificant as like a person,
Speaker 2: not like stature, but just as a person, just being like, dude,
Speaker 2: you're a freaking joke, Like if that was your wife,
Speaker 2: you would be down there. And I was just like
Speaker 2: I felt like I was an inch tall. I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: come on, I mean it's you know, it's just one
Speaker 2: of those memories.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, but life. Look at us now, We've got
Speaker 3: a book. It's coming out together. We're fighting a good fight.
Speaker 3: That's right, baby, Mark, will you will you read us
Speaker 3: an email?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 1: This is also anonymous. My boyfriend and I have been
Speaker 1: together for just over a year. When we started dating,
Speaker 1: we both knew I was moving to Australia to do
Speaker 1: my master's degree. In February of twenty one, we moved
Speaker 1: in together after six months of dated because it was
Speaker 1: important to me to know that how that would go
Speaker 1: before we decided if he was going to come with me.
Speaker 1: This entire time, he has been unwavering saying he is
Speaker 1: coming with me to Australia. However, it's now time for
Speaker 1: us to start getting things paid for and sorted out,
Speaker 1: and he isn't formed me that he has not started saving.
Speaker 1: I laid out his expenses for him months ago, but
Speaker 1: didn't want to go so far as policing his finances
Speaker 1: for him. He makes twice as much as me. I've
Speaker 1: been laid off because of COVID. I'm going to have
Speaker 1: tuition on top of other expenses, and I'm ready.
Speaker 5: So why isn't he? Is it wrong that I'm frustrated
Speaker 5: in questioning our future because of this?
Speaker 3: No, No, I don't think so at all. I think
Speaker 3: that's something you have to do. I think it's a
Speaker 3: conversation that you know, we have. I think I think
Speaker 3: a lot of marriages have conversations about money and budgets
Speaker 3: and every respect and yeah, I think every marriage, And
Speaker 3: I think that's healthy to have that. And I don't
Speaker 3: think that's I think that's a conversation that you know
Speaker 3: needs to have so that you guys are on the
Speaker 3: same page because you don't want that to that's that's
Speaker 3: it shows kind of his value of the dollar and
Speaker 3: everything too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, It's it's almost like it was a you and
Speaker 2: test in this, like in this situation of how he
Speaker 2: would be with finances, not forever, but in the foreseeable future.
Speaker 2: Because if she just said, out of responsibility, hey, this
Speaker 2: is what we need to do. She even laid it
Speaker 2: out for him, Hey, if you're really serious about this,
Speaker 2: like this is what we need to do to make
Speaker 2: it happen, and he just dump paying the attention to it,
Speaker 2: I'd be.
Speaker 3: Like, hmm, oh, well, I think too. It's like, don't
Speaker 3: just like be like I can't do this, I'm done,
Speaker 3: but just have more of a conversation around it two
Speaker 3: to be like, hey, this kind of bothered me and
Speaker 3: frustrated me, and I'm a little concerned.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh for sure, But I feel like.
Speaker 3: That puts a lot of pressure on you too, Like
Speaker 3: if someone moved out for me, Like I mean, I
Speaker 3: remember talking to my high school sweetheart about it when
Speaker 3: I lived in California. I almost felt like a responsibility
Speaker 3: that like I would have to then stay with him
Speaker 3: because I'm the reason that he would have moved out
Speaker 3: to California. So then I would have like maybe stayed
Speaker 3: with him longer because I felt bad that I relocated
Speaker 3: him and that that sucks too for that person.
Speaker 2: Well, Jack, just like when I moved to Nashville for you, you,
Speaker 2: Janna was trying to pimp me out to every like
Speaker 2: boyfriend or husband, to all of her girlfriends, like anytime, Oh,
Speaker 2: get each other's numbers? Do you like golf? Oh he
Speaker 2: likes off? Do you like this? Do you think I'm
Speaker 2: just like honey, like it'll happen like platonically, Like you
Speaker 2: can't just be like take one number, take take his number,
Speaker 2: take his number. Okay, no, I want to see you.
Speaker 2: You know, it's awkward when guys like get each other's number.
Speaker 2: I don't know why. I just kind of is sometimes
Speaker 2: and Jan's like sitting there watching us to make sure
Speaker 2: we get each other's.
Speaker 3: Number, and it's like, Okay, I just want you to
Speaker 3: have friends, I.
Speaker 2: Know, But that's what I'm saying. To your point, you
Speaker 2: took on the responsibility. It's like my happy, my happiness.
Speaker 2: You made your responsibility because someone moves moves somewhere for you,
Speaker 2: So I could see how that is a lot of
Speaker 2: pressure on the person that's you know, the inspiration for
Speaker 2: someone to move.
Speaker 3: All right, bye guys.
Speaker 2: Yeah,