1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:05,120 Speaker 1: Find down with Janet Kramler and Michael Coffman and I'm 2 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,359 Speaker 1: her radio podcast. 3 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 2: We're missing some gold because because Jana is making fun 4 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 2: of our producer Mark. 5 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 3: In fun of him, you know, we're all recording from 6 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 3: our homes. And I just have like really grown to 7 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,440 Speaker 3: love mark ceiling fan. And I think it's a guy thing, 8 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,240 Speaker 3: like I think it's a it's a parent and and 9 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 3: and guy thing, like guys love ceiling fans. 10 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 2: Do you think it's I don't know if it's a 11 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 2: guy thing. I know, Mark, to your defense, it wasn't 12 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 2: until Jana and I got together that she was like, whoa, 13 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 2: whoa woa ceiling fans. I was like, yeah, of course 14 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 2: ceiling fans. And she's like, people don't do that. 15 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 3: What do you mean people don't do that? But you 16 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 3: don't see ceiling fans in houses now. Really they're more 17 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 3: in like your parents' house. 18 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 2: No, I mean, you've definitely conditioned me where now I'm 19 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 2: judging Mcjudgerson, I'm like, ugh, how dare you ceiling fan? 20 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 3: Like I get it for like outside and stuff. You know, 21 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 3: I love a good sealing fan outside on the screen 22 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,280 Speaker 3: and porch, But I get it like I think that. 23 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 3: I think what some fans are kind of cool like 24 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 3: and if you have really tall ceilings like those living 25 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,119 Speaker 3: room fans from you know, those are kind of cool. 26 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:16,160 Speaker 3: But I don't know. Sorry Easton, what do you think 27 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 3: about ceiling fans? 28 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 4: I hate them. I hate them more than anything. We 29 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,319 Speaker 4: took them out as soon as we moved into this 30 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 4: beautiful home. It was the biggest blemish on this work 31 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 4: of art that's our our first home we bought together. 32 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 4: We ripped those things out with prejudice, took them out. 33 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 3: And why do you not like them so much? I 34 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 3: would like to this. I feel like, by the way, 35 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 3: this podcast is like a Seinfeld episode. We just talked 36 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 3: about the most random things. 37 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:42,320 Speaker 2: And ceiling fans. Uh. 38 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 4: You know, for being called a ceiling fan, I'm not 39 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 4: a fan of them. It's they're Here's what I don't 40 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 4: like about them. Here's my beef with the ceiling fan. 41 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 4: I never know when they're on or off. They're always 42 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 4: going at a weird speed. I never know if I've 43 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 4: turned the monitoring. 44 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 2: Uh. 45 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 4: And I feel like, yes, they do circulate air light 46 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 4: like fine, but I feel like our A C does 47 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 4: just as good of a job. It doesn't look as bad. 48 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 4: We can get much cuter lights. Uh, there's I mean, 49 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 4: this was a ceiling fan at one point. Now it's 50 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 4: you can't tell them the webcam, but it's a giant 51 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 4: glowing orb. Now it's I don't know. I just feel 52 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 4: like it limits you in the light department. 53 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 3: I would have to agree, and Mark, you know what, 54 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 3: I'm sorry if you're if you're the odd man out here, 55 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 3: but I'm sure there's a lot of people on here 56 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 3: that are on your side, are on team fan. 57 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 5: There's two chains. One is for the light and one 58 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 5: is for the fan. 59 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 1: And I have never in my life guessed correctly right never, 60 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 1: I will agree with that. 61 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 3: It's so oh for one, it's so true. Mark, that 62 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 3: is the most accurate thing ever, because it's like you're like, 63 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 3: just right. 64 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 2: All right, it's the one closest to the door next time, 65 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 2: damn it. Well, welcome to another episode of Wine Down 66 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 2: with Jenna Kramer and Michael Cousin. That's how we start. 67 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:05,519 Speaker 3: I love You're welcome. It's just cute. Yeah, no, I 68 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 3: I anyways, fans, what else were we talking about when 69 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 3: we started. 70 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,840 Speaker 2: This reading some of our book? Oh? 71 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think we should Oh Costco. What happened? 72 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,639 Speaker 2: It's just Jana. I just got home, literally walked in 73 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 2: the door five minutes ago from Costco, and Jane asked 74 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 2: me how it was, and that's kind of out of breath. 75 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:27,080 Speaker 2: I'm just like Costco is overwhelming. It's just I feel 76 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 2: like my head's on a swivel the whole time. Nothing's 77 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 2: in the same place. The things that Jana asked me 78 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 2: to get are like the smallest things that are possibly 79 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 2: in Costco, like vitamin C gummies. You know, if I 80 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 2: go to Public's or Whole Foods, I know exactly where 81 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 2: they are. Go to Costco. 82 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 3: Why do we have because I kind of fought you 83 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 3: on the membership because I don't think we need the 84 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 3: membership because we only get two things from Costco these 85 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 3: Annie's cheddar. 86 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 2: Puffs that which they didn't have, So what. 87 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 3: Are you serious? 88 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 2: I looked high, low, left, right, up, down, I mean 89 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,119 Speaker 2: I looked everywhere. 90 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: That's the thing with Costco. It's a needle in a haystack. 91 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 1: But they may have stopped selling needles, yes. 92 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 3: One see, that's so frustrating. That's the only reason I 93 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 3: really wanted you to go there and then to get 94 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 3: the chicken nuggets, the chicken nuggets that we like from there, 95 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 3: But like, why are we paying that much money for 96 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 3: two things? 97 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 2: That much money? It's like one hundred and twenty dollars 98 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:20,920 Speaker 2: a year. 99 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,599 Speaker 3: To me, that's see. So Michael and I have this thing, 100 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 3: but that's still money that we're not using. Like it 101 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,600 Speaker 3: just bothers me. I don't like it. This is where 102 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 3: I go, you know, I'm just. 103 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 2: I did get like a twenty pound brisket that I'm 104 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,839 Speaker 2: going to cook because I made that one last weekend. 105 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 2: It was amazing. And what else did I get? 106 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 3: Oh? 107 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 2: Remember when we first went to Costco and I was 108 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 2: complaining even on your Instagram about chicken bakes. Yes, and 109 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 2: I was like, this is like really the only reason 110 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:55,280 Speaker 2: I wanted to become a member was to get a 111 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,840 Speaker 2: chicken bake that you get at the little food place 112 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 2: after you check out. Well, to my surprise, I'm standing 113 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:06,279 Speaker 2: in line. I look up. There it is. It's on 114 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 2: the menu. 115 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,600 Speaker 3: It's back wow, gripping. 116 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,919 Speaker 2: So this a three ninety nine piece of heaven. I 117 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 2: go to the Kiosk, I order one, but the groceries 118 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 2: in the car I'm ready to take a big old 119 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 2: bite out of thing. Take a big old bite. It 120 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:23,159 Speaker 2: tasted like it's been marinating in the ocean water for 121 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 2: sixty days. Salt. This like. I couldn't get home fast 122 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 2: enough to get something to drink because I had nothing 123 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 2: in the car. I was like, this is not what 124 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 2: I remembered when I was ten and going to Costco 125 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 2: with my parents. 126 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 3: Did you eat it? 127 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 2: I ate half of it, and I was like, I 128 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 2: can't even do this. 129 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,279 Speaker 3: Oh that's so nasty. 130 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:45,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, so interesting. Anyways, that was my morning. Huh huh. 131 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 2: But I did want to start this episode off with 132 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 2: a more sentimental note until we got got into it. 133 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:59,279 Speaker 2: Shots fired, shooting at Mark and talking about Costco. Sentimental, yeah, 134 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 2: or just I think it's a good setup for stuff 135 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,279 Speaker 2: that we may read about our book. 136 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,919 Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, Like you said you wanted to bring something 137 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 3: up that was like sentimental. 138 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 2: I think yeah, amidst laughter, No, I think it's you know, 139 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 2: sometimes we get away from some relational stuff on here, 140 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 2: besides emails or dms that we bring up. But I 141 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,839 Speaker 2: think it's important, you know, because our whole thing is 142 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 2: talking about stuff we deal with and being open and everything. 143 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 2: And I was just driving around town today and you know, 144 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 2: there's some physical triggers around town where it's just like 145 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,479 Speaker 2: emotional for me, where it's man, I remember staying in 146 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 2: this hotel when shit went down, and you know, thinking 147 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 2: my life was over and our marriage was over, and 148 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 2: our family was over, and you know, and then thinking 149 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 2: about all the negative things that I've done to her, 150 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:05,359 Speaker 2: you and to hurt this family. And I think my 151 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 2: point is, you know, I try to do a good job. 152 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 2: I need to do better at acknowledging these things. Doesn't 153 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 2: have to be on a super regular basis, but at 154 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 2: least bring them to your attention, to let you know 155 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 2: that I am thinking of them, that I'm not just 156 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 2: moved on past them and everything's fine and there's no 157 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 2: worry in the world and it's just normal, you know. 158 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 2: But I am sorry for creating, you know, that environment 159 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 2: and these feelings that we have around whether it's physical 160 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,320 Speaker 2: triggers or just emotional triggers or whatever it is. Because 161 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 2: I know it's hard to you know, to be married 162 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 2: to me. I know it's hard to be married to 163 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:54,280 Speaker 2: someone who's caused you hurt and pain, no matter what 164 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 2: the situation for anybody, And so I just think my 165 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 2: suggestion suggestion to couples or people in coupleship listening to 166 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 2: this is just lean into your partner about things that 167 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 2: you might have done to harm them or harm your relationship, 168 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 2: even if it's not as obviously not as deep as 169 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 2: our wounds, but something service level where a fight you 170 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 2: had recently and just even if you feel like it's 171 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 2: been resolved, go back and just own your part again 172 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 2: or something, you know, just because that just anytime I 173 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 2: do that to you, you just you affirm me how 174 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,680 Speaker 2: much that means to you that because then you don't 175 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 2: feel I I can't speak for you, but usually what 176 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 2: you tell me is then you don't feel alone and 177 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 2: like the feelings that you feel and stuff. So no, 178 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 2: I just felt myself like getting emotional when I was 179 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 2: driving home. Of just fortunately it wasn't much shame, it 180 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 2: was just pain. It was just like, damn, like sucks 181 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 2: that I cause this, you know, sucks that we have 182 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,319 Speaker 2: to feel as sucks that we have to some of 183 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:04,439 Speaker 2: the issues that we deal with. But you know, so 184 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 2: I just want to come home and tell you that 185 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 2: and just ingratitude that I'm thankful that we're doing what 186 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 2: we're doing. 187 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,960 Speaker 3: Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it, and it does help, 188 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,720 Speaker 3: you know, because sometimes contrary to what maybe some people 189 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 3: may say, like I don't bring it up every day 190 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,080 Speaker 3: how I feel it, you know, and sometimes I don't 191 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 3: talk about it for weeks, and I think when knowing that, 192 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,599 Speaker 3: like you also recognize a pain, it's nice to know that, 193 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,199 Speaker 3: like I'm not alone in certain pains some days. So 194 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,439 Speaker 3: that's a nice So I really appreciate that. 195 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:36,840 Speaker 2: For sure. 196 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,199 Speaker 3: We never talked about it, but I'm curious if you 197 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 3: would share on here. Did you ever figure out your 198 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 3: man period? 199 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 5: Oh? 200 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 3: So that to like make like fun of it. But 201 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,959 Speaker 3: like the other day, Michael was like, I think I'm 202 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 3: on my man period. 203 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 2: So I have a name for it, Oh okay, which 204 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 2: my therapist called it menopause. No, uh, it's my my comma, 205 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,000 Speaker 2: my comma. You guys have periods. 206 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 3: Interesting because it was just so like, you know, because 207 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,880 Speaker 3: I could tell it you were in a little you 208 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 3: were just quieter that day, and you know, you were 209 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,439 Speaker 3: kind of teary eyed when you were telling me like, 210 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,360 Speaker 3: I don't know, but I just feel like I'm on 211 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 3: my period. But I like it. You're You're on your comma. 212 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 3: So what is a comma? 213 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 2: It's the male version of the period. Just sometimes you 214 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 2: just have those days it just emotionally hits you. You 215 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 2: don't know why. 216 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 3: So there wasn't anything under it, not that. 217 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 2: You can put your finger on. It was you know, uh, 218 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 2: issues that are there always. But I think it was 219 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 2: just just one of those days. I just as sad 220 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 2: as it sounds, it was just one of those days. 221 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:08,199 Speaker 2: It was hard being me describe because of like my 222 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:14,199 Speaker 2: pain and shame, guilt of things that I've done, of 223 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:19,079 Speaker 2: things I haven't done, of just where it's just like 224 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 2: most of your like you took it on. You wore that, Yeah, 225 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,480 Speaker 2: Like I wore it like instead of just powering through 226 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 2: like I usually do, or it not affected me, or 227 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:31,240 Speaker 2: it being a fleeting thought or whatever. You know me, 228 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:36,520 Speaker 2: I'm naturally an optimistic, positive person. So it was just 229 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 2: I don't know, it was just one of those days 230 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 2: I just couldn't. 231 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 3: You tried it out in it and you let it 232 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 3: hang on you. 233 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, you wore it. Yeah. So I mean everyone has 234 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 2: can have those days and where it's just I'm sure 235 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,200 Speaker 2: to some people it makes a lot of sense. How 236 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,319 Speaker 2: I say, it's just hard being me, Like you know, 237 00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:00,560 Speaker 2: to some people it might not make sense, like if 238 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 2: they say that to themselves. But some can sit there 239 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 2: and be like, yeah, it is hard being me today 240 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:11,160 Speaker 2: for whatever reason, because of stresses, because of responsibilities, because. 241 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 3: Of depression, anxiety. 242 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 2: Depression anxiety, clinical issues, addiction, whatever it is. It's just 243 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 2: something that we're all allowed to have. That we're all 244 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 2: allowed to have that day. Now you don't want to 245 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,959 Speaker 2: stay in it because then there's more issues around that. 246 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 3: How long is your man comma? 247 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,839 Speaker 2: It was just that day, that day, Yeah, I'm good. 248 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 3: Now it is interesting too, And I feel like almost 249 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 3: the timing of your comma was, you know, the night 250 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:42,839 Speaker 3: before we had like a conspiracy theory party where I 251 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,599 Speaker 3: wouldn't say party, but like just a get together with 252 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:48,079 Speaker 3: friends and we you know, just kind of had talked 253 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 3: about things and it started to just I mean, I know, 254 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 3: some of the conversations we were having about anti vaxxers, 255 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,719 Speaker 3: verse vaccinations, and you know, and just other things that 256 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 3: like you've always thought and then someone's being like, well 257 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,480 Speaker 3: here's this and having that debate and then you just 258 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:04,439 Speaker 3: kind of like go to bed and you're like, has 259 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 3: everything I've learned the last thirty six years of my 260 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 3: life a lie you know, and just trying to differentiate 261 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,520 Speaker 3: between that. I figured I make up that that could 262 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 3: cause like the heaviness as well. 263 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 2: The next day, well for sure, especially when we touched 264 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 2: on topics like you know, the Epstein Island and Pizzagate 265 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 2: and the Wayfair stuff, and it's just I mean, you 266 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 2: saw me getting animated where it's just and again, all 267 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,719 Speaker 2: of this was just We're just having healthy conversation with 268 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,679 Speaker 2: like three other couples and it was just we're all 269 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,360 Speaker 2: close friends, so no one's taking it personal or debating. 270 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 2: We're just sharing our our beliefs or thoughts or whatever. 271 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,719 Speaker 2: It was just it was interesting. But when it comes 272 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 2: to the kids stuff, it just I it just it 273 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,439 Speaker 2: just gets me. Yeah, you know what I mean, it 274 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:56,160 Speaker 2: just it absolutely destroys me internally, and it's like I'm 275 00:13:56,400 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 2: naive where I want to believe that there's humanity is 276 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 2: better than that overall, but the fact that there's so 277 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,319 Speaker 2: many people involved with all that, it just makes me. 278 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 2: It made me sick. 279 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 3: Well, moving on, let's get on to some other topics, 280 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 3: but let's first take a break. 281 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 2: Hey, Mark, do we have any emails? 282 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 5: We do have emails. One actually mentions me by a name, which. 283 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 2: Is very nice. Definitely do that one all right. 284 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 1: It's from anonymous. She says, I'm pregnant and do soon 285 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: with my second child. This pregnancy has been a struggle 286 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 1: with so much, with so much anxiety surrounding the pandemic. 287 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,480 Speaker 1: We haven't seen our own parents, who all live pretty 288 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,440 Speaker 1: close by. I thought about the time I was ready 289 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: to give birth, it we'd be in better shape, but 290 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,880 Speaker 1: it seems to have gotten worse for us here in Florida. 291 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,840 Speaker 1: One of my concerns is having or possibly not having 292 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: visitors when we come home from the hospital. 293 00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,720 Speaker 5: I don't know how much my parents. 294 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,760 Speaker 1: Are siblings would take it if we decided to keep 295 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 1: my family away for a certain amount of time. Do 296 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 1: I give a specific time frame, play it by ear 297 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 1: as to when we feel comfortable, allow them to come 298 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: over with masks sound, or just allow them to come. 299 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 5: Over and hope for the best. 300 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 1: I don't know if my reaction to want some time 301 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 1: is a bit over the top or more of a 302 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: normal reaction during a pandemic. I'd love to get some input, 303 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 1: and I'm curious to know what Mark has to say. 304 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 2: Did she say this is their second child? Yes, and 305 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 2: they live away from them, yeah, but not terribly. 306 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 5: Far away from them. 307 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 3: I mean, Mark, I would like to know what you think. 308 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 5: I think there's a way to do this. I think 309 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:38,280 Speaker 5: it would be. 310 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 1: Here's the problem is, there's a major spectrum of how 311 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 1: people tackle the pandemic. And it's not just the people 312 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 1: who say it's all a hoax versus the people who 313 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 1: never leave their house. 314 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,400 Speaker 5: There's everything in between as well. 315 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 1: And if you are farther towards the careful side, you're 316 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 1: going to be made fun of by the people that 317 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,160 Speaker 1: are closer towards the other side. No matter where each 318 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 1: of you fall on the spectrum, it seems like people 319 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 1: roll their eyes even if you're wearing a mask. Everywhere 320 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 1: you go, the person with a face shield, you roll 321 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 1: their eyes with them, you know what I'm saying. Like 322 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,800 Speaker 1: you judge everyone else on the spectrum. So if you 323 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,440 Speaker 1: say to your parents or your husband's parents, you cannot 324 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,800 Speaker 1: come over and see the newborn, I'm not comfortable. 325 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 5: They're not going to be happy with that. But I 326 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 5: think there is a safe way to do it. 327 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 1: I think if you do it in your yard, if 328 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 1: you do it outside and there are masks, I think 329 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 1: it will be fine. I do think that that's the 330 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: new world we live in, that we can go to restaurants, 331 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 1: but it has to be outsided in masks. 332 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,760 Speaker 5: My daughters can go to dance class, but it. 333 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 1: Has to be outside and in masks. That's the world now, 334 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,040 Speaker 1: and I think that I don't think that's dangerous. I 335 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 1: think you're gonna be okay. And yeah, they might not 336 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: be thrilled about it, but it's better than not seeing 337 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 1: their new grandchild. 338 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 2: Honey. I agree, Yeah, I mean, I agree, it's it's 339 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 2: a spectrum. I mean, the thing is is ultimately comes 340 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 2: down to her and her husband what they feel most 341 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 2: comfortable with. Like, I would never want someone to fault 342 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,959 Speaker 2: us for being like that. But at the same time, 343 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,919 Speaker 2: when it's your family and you're not in a different 344 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,960 Speaker 2: state and you still see them from time to time, 345 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,920 Speaker 2: they're still in your circle of people you see on 346 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 2: a regular basis. Now, you don't want the brand new 347 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 2: friends you just meant to come over and see them. 348 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,399 Speaker 2: But if it's the people you see on a more 349 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,119 Speaker 2: regular basis, I don't see the issue. 350 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:28,159 Speaker 3: I agree, all right, I got something good from our 351 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,880 Speaker 3: book that I want to read. 352 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, what you got? Where's it at? 353 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 3: So? I'm going to only read some of it because 354 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:41,159 Speaker 3: I want you guys to finish it. I'll stop and 355 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 3: then i'll show you where to pick up. Okay, page 356 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 3: thirty three. Okay, So again I'm only giving. And there's 357 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:53,960 Speaker 3: something so juicy that we have not told anybody. After 358 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 3: this part, I'm going to read you the beforehand to 359 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,200 Speaker 3: get you hooked, and then you're going to go on 360 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 3: Amazon or on Mike dot com you can get the book. 361 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 3: Here we go. I remember when I heard your side 362 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 3: of the street in therapy. I quickly replied, oh, my 363 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 3: side of the street is shiny and clean, thank you. Next, 364 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,680 Speaker 3: it's easy as hell to point the finger at the 365 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,000 Speaker 3: other person, and I did it for years with Mike. 366 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,639 Speaker 3: I would always think, well, he's the one who looked up, 367 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 3: so why do I need to look on my side 368 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,639 Speaker 3: of the street when I've done nothing wrong. It's a 369 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,960 Speaker 3: very narrow minded response, I know. And even though yes, 370 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 3: I technically did nothing wrong to cause his affairs, how 371 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 3: I handled our repair is now part of my side 372 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,159 Speaker 3: of the street. You can play the blame game and 373 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,000 Speaker 3: point fingers for only so long. But this realization was 374 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 3: slightly annoying for me at first. And took some time, 375 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,720 Speaker 3: but I knew the marriage wouldn't work out if I 376 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,680 Speaker 3: didn't put the pointer finger away and start cleaning my 377 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:47,520 Speaker 3: side of the street. 378 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,000 Speaker 4: So how did I do that? 379 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,280 Speaker 3: What does that look like look like in action? And 380 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:54,120 Speaker 3: how did it make me feel? How did it help us? Well? 381 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:54,359 Speaker 5: For me? 382 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,399 Speaker 3: This happened while I was doing Dancing with the Stars, 383 00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,200 Speaker 3: which began only a few weeks after we separated. Mike 384 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 3: was in rehab and I was in an all out 385 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 3: war with my emotions. Most days I would push Mike 386 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 3: out of my brain and try to live in the 387 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 3: world as if he didn't exist. Other days I was 388 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,399 Speaker 3: too weak to push and I missed him, and I 389 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 3: hoped he would be in the audience watching me perform, 390 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 3: rooting for me, regardless of how I was feeling. Whenever 391 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,640 Speaker 3: he would call me from rehab, I would lash out 392 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 3: at him, tell him I didn't want anything to do 393 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 3: with him. I would hang up and realize that I 394 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,399 Speaker 3: had no idea what direction my life was headed in 395 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,360 Speaker 3: or what I should do. The only times that gave 396 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,920 Speaker 3: me calm was when I looked at our baby girl. 397 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,560 Speaker 3: I knew that, regardless of the outcome, I wanted the 398 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 3: best for her. One night We've never shared this. One night, 399 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 3: immediately after I'd finished doing the jive on the show, 400 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:47,959 Speaker 3: my manager Catherine sat me down and said, Mike filed 401 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 3: for divorce. I thought he did what. I called him, screaming, 402 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 3: how could you file for divorce? That's what I'm supposed 403 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,680 Speaker 3: to do? How dare you? He replied with Jana, you 404 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,159 Speaker 3: won't let me see our daughter. It's true. When he 405 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,639 Speaker 3: had called asking to see her, as it had already 406 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 3: been two months since their last visit, I was so 407 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 3: desperate to keep close to me. The one thing that 408 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 3: brought me calm that, even though I knew it was 409 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,040 Speaker 3: wrong and would hurt him, I said he couldn't see 410 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 3: her until I finished filming, which could take a month. Suddenly, 411 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 3: thinking about raising our daughter separately and the beginning of 412 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 3: separate parenting, separate holiday, separate everything, a voice in my 413 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,399 Speaker 3: head finally spoke up in defense of this man in 414 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 3: our marriage and Jolie. I knew what I wanted, No, 415 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:35,159 Speaker 3: I said to him, I want to try. And then 416 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,199 Speaker 3: from there I go into other things that I had 417 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:41,960 Speaker 3: to own, that I did wrong and that I needed 418 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,639 Speaker 3: to own, and stuff that I still don't want to 419 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:50,040 Speaker 3: say own the mic yet, so I really encourage y'all 420 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 3: to buy the book because that's the only way you're 421 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,240 Speaker 3: going to hear it. Michael, would you like to do 422 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 3: the rebuttal of that part? Yeah, the mic part. 423 00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 2: There were so many days, absolutely, There are so many 424 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 2: days during the first year of our reconciliation after discovery 425 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,480 Speaker 2: of my affairs, when we thought what the fuck is 426 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:11,360 Speaker 2: going on? Honestly, most days were like that. We said 427 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:15,400 Speaker 2: so many hurtful things during those dog days, especially me. Unfortunately, 428 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,159 Speaker 2: when I began to get defensive and go into a 429 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,040 Speaker 2: place of shame, my initial reaction is to get mean 430 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:24,160 Speaker 2: and nasty and verbally fighting back, which is absolute, which 431 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 2: is absolutely the last thing Janet deserves after what I 432 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,920 Speaker 2: have already put it through. Needless to say, so many 433 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:34,640 Speaker 2: days were filled with pain, hurt, sadness, and despair. There 434 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,159 Speaker 2: isn't an adjective in the English dictionary that describes how 435 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 2: hard it was or how unattainable that so called light 436 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,200 Speaker 2: at the end of the tunnel seemed. But even throughout 437 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,119 Speaker 2: those days of misery, we were both still there. We 438 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,080 Speaker 2: both continued to show up, despite the fact that all 439 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,200 Speaker 2: it would take to end that pain was the signature 440 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,439 Speaker 2: at the bottom of divorce papers. We just kept showing up. 441 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,680 Speaker 2: But the more therapy we went to, the more tools 442 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,320 Speaker 2: we learned and began practicing with one another, and more 443 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 2: we saw that light that once seemed unattainable. That's how 444 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,679 Speaker 2: we knew it was all worth it. It was never 445 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 2: an Aha moment. It was about getting down and dirty 446 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,920 Speaker 2: with one another, trudging through the darkest time of our lives. 447 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 2: Nowhere was dirty or during those days than my side 448 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 2: of the street. And like every act of serious, deep cleaning, 449 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:21,000 Speaker 2: sometimes it could be daunting. In my case, some days 450 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,639 Speaker 2: it was daunting to the point of paralysis. But the 451 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 2: promise of keeping my side of the street clean was 452 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 2: ultimately the reason I was able to stay. Now, some 453 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,840 Speaker 2: of you may scoff at my saying that I chose 454 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,440 Speaker 2: to stay. Some of you are probably thinking he was 455 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,200 Speaker 2: the one who looked up. Why would he consider not staying? 456 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,119 Speaker 2: I get it, and Janet even said that to me 457 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 2: your time or two. But it takes work on the 458 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 2: part of both people to make a relationship worthwhile. 459 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:52,040 Speaker 3: Boom, go get your book mark. Are you so excited 460 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 3: for all the juicy details that are. 461 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 5: To come that's pretty good, pretty good stuff. 462 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,399 Speaker 3: I'll never forget when that happened. 463 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 2: I was so that call when you called me. 464 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,000 Speaker 3: Oh, I was furious and you're like, well, it's just 465 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 3: like it's just you know, we can always go I 466 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 3: was like, you don't understand if I if I now 467 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,200 Speaker 3: like and put it in papers too. I was like, 468 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 3: it's done. There's no going back. Like my lawyer wouldn't 469 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 3: have it like we would. We would just go for it. 470 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,480 Speaker 2: And I was like, I want to see my daughter. 471 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:27,879 Speaker 2: It's been seventy days. 472 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,920 Speaker 3: Well, you could have called me and told me. 473 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 2: I tried, you kept hanging up and mothercking me. 474 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,399 Speaker 3: I'm just saying next time. You could have been like 475 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 3: if you don't like you, I would have liked the threat. 476 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,560 Speaker 2: Okay, fine, no the threat. No, you wouldn't even take 477 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 2: my call. So I didn't. I couldn't even get the 478 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:50,639 Speaker 2: threat across and then go ahead. 479 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 5: When she called when she said I want to try, 480 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 5: what was your reaction like? Was it relief? Was it 481 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:57,879 Speaker 5: excitement or. 482 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 2: Was it She didn't say she said it to herself. 483 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:02,760 Speaker 2: She will so you no. 484 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,639 Speaker 3: What I said to him, I was like, you have 485 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,000 Speaker 3: to reverse it. If you do not reverse this divorce 486 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,920 Speaker 3: right now, like you do not understand, I'm gonna have to, 487 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 3: like because my lawyer was like, you need to file now, 488 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,200 Speaker 3: and I was like and and my friend Catherine was 489 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:18,960 Speaker 3: just like, but isn't this what you want? And I'm like, 490 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 3: I don't know what I want, Like I don't know. 491 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,200 Speaker 3: I just know that I don't want to make such 492 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 3: a like rash decision. And if he files, then I 493 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 3: have to like counter file. And I'm like, I just 494 00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,520 Speaker 3: need him to just stop and like reverse this. And 495 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:30,879 Speaker 3: he's like, well, I can't reverse it, and I'm like, 496 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,159 Speaker 3: then then we're done. And he's like, well, what do 497 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,520 Speaker 3: you want. I'm like, I just need more time, like 498 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 3: and that was like, honestly what I need. In that moment, 499 00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,960 Speaker 3: I was like, I like, just reverse it and then 500 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,880 Speaker 3: we can sit and talk because I haven't I hadn't 501 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,200 Speaker 3: seen him face to face. I'm like, it just was like, 502 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,600 Speaker 3: if you do this now, we are done. So if 503 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:52,000 Speaker 3: if you go forward with this tomorrow morning, there will 504 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 3: be a reverse like there will be me counters divorcing 505 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,720 Speaker 3: you and we are done. And he's like, well, we 506 00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 3: can take it off the table. I was like, you 507 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 3: don't understand and there's you can't take that off when 508 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,960 Speaker 3: I'm when I file, it's done. 509 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,679 Speaker 2: Legally, you can take it off the table can. 510 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,159 Speaker 3: But like then you know, it's not like it's like, 511 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,119 Speaker 3: oh you filed, it's papers and like you don't get it, 512 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 3: like you don't get the like the weight of all 513 00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,440 Speaker 3: that stuff, like it's just for me. It's just like 514 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 3: it's it's it's emotionally like like don't do that, like 515 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:22,359 Speaker 3: let's just. 516 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 2: Take I wasn't doing it as a game. I was 517 00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:26,879 Speaker 2: just forcing your hand. I was just like, all right, 518 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,159 Speaker 2: if you're not gonna let me see my daughter, I 519 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,639 Speaker 2: need to do what I need to do to protect 520 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:30,359 Speaker 2: myself and see. 521 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:36,280 Speaker 3: Her well and left the call before Janna. 522 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 2: Even goes, well, if you really wanted to see her, 523 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,840 Speaker 2: you're just shown up, and she was I was like really, 524 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 2: I was like, you won't even take my phone call 525 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 2: or text message and you just want me to surprise. 526 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,440 Speaker 2: I get it. 527 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,200 Speaker 3: I just would have liked it more of a like, hey, 528 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:52,680 Speaker 3: I'm going to file if you don't let me say, 529 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 3: and I'd have been like okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. No, 530 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,600 Speaker 3: you wouldn't have you'd have been like you said you 531 00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,320 Speaker 3: were going to file one thousand percent, because that's not 532 00:25:58,359 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 3: what I wanted. 533 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,920 Speaker 2: You wouldn't believe me. You wouldn't believe me, and you 534 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 2: would have been like, F you you don't get the file, 535 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:04,560 Speaker 2: a'll file. 536 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:13,160 Speaker 3: I probably would have yes, like I know you where 537 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:14,960 Speaker 3: I was at then? Yeah, sure, you know what. 538 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,240 Speaker 2: I don't think I've I don't know if I shared 539 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:23,679 Speaker 2: this on here or not. I don't know. So were 540 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,520 Speaker 2: you reading that stuff when you're talking about dancing in 541 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 2: the stars reminded me of this sad, sad memory of that. 542 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 2: And it was when it was when was it that 543 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:39,119 Speaker 2: you guys danced at the Grove? Were you already voted off? 544 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,280 Speaker 3: I was voted off? It was that was the finale 545 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,920 Speaker 3: and I was singing right, that was it? That hurts 546 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:44,879 Speaker 3: my heart too, I know. 547 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,720 Speaker 2: So at that point I was in la with them. 548 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 2: It was a finale. I'd gone. You had me at 549 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 2: one show, the show that. 550 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 3: We really messed up on the semi finals where I 551 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,080 Speaker 3: like fell, blood. 552 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 2: Fell, Yeah, Glove was Glove was nervous. Oh Jesus, the 553 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 2: man was back. No, it's uh, it was it was 554 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:14,439 Speaker 2: a finale and you know you had some of your 555 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,320 Speaker 2: girlfriends there and like your former music manager and stuff 556 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:18,960 Speaker 2: like that, and they were all with you, and I 557 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,000 Speaker 2: was just kind of that whole time. I was just 558 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,439 Speaker 2: uncomfortable being there anyway around you and around your people 559 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:31,480 Speaker 2: and stuff. So they all were like inside the gates 560 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 2: at the Grove like with you. I was not. So 561 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 2: I'm at the Grove trying to find a space to 562 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 2: watch I'm at that uh, that Italian restaurant there on 563 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 2: the corner right by where the fountain is where they 564 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 2: put the stage, and I'm like trying to find a 565 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,840 Speaker 2: place to get close and see her. And so I 566 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 2: go upstairsly this like second floor balcony that kind of 567 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,600 Speaker 2: overlooks it. I was like, oh, this perk spot just 568 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 2: kind of stand here in this corner. And this guy 569 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,040 Speaker 2: that's i don't know, working security or something comes over 570 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 2: to me and he's like, hey, this is like a 571 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 2: private party up here. You can't be up here, and 572 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,720 Speaker 2: I was like, I'm sorry to intrude. I was like, 573 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:12,000 Speaker 2: my wife is gonna sing. She's right down there, like 574 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:13,639 Speaker 2: she's gonna sing, like you know. I just wanted to 575 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,159 Speaker 2: get spot to watch her. And he was like no, no, 576 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,399 Speaker 2: like you can't be up here. So I was like, 577 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 2: I get it, but my wife. He's like, if that 578 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 2: was your wife, you would be down there. And I 579 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:29,119 Speaker 2: was just like and so I just walked away. I 580 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,520 Speaker 2: went downstairs, and I just left the grove and I 581 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:35,400 Speaker 2: was just I just walked till I met you. Tell 582 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,160 Speaker 2: you guys were done, and I met you guys back 583 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,480 Speaker 2: at your trailer. I was able to get back around there, 584 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,840 Speaker 2: but just having that guy look at me like I 585 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:46,360 Speaker 2: was just so small and just insignificant as like a person, 586 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,400 Speaker 2: not like stature, but just as a person, just being like, dude, 587 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,240 Speaker 2: you're a freaking joke, Like if that was your wife, 588 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,520 Speaker 2: you would be down there. And I was just like 589 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 2: I felt like I was an inch tall. I'm sorry, 590 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 2: come on, I mean it's you know, it's just one 591 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 2: of those memories. 592 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 3: Well yeah, but life. Look at us now, We've got 593 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 3: a book. It's coming out together. We're fighting a good fight. 594 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 3: That's right, baby, Mark, will you will you read us 595 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:32,880 Speaker 3: an email? 596 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:34,040 Speaker 2: Sure? 597 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,640 Speaker 1: This is also anonymous. My boyfriend and I have been 598 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 1: together for just over a year. When we started dating, 599 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,000 Speaker 1: we both knew I was moving to Australia to do 600 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:44,240 Speaker 1: my master's degree. In February of twenty one, we moved 601 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,280 Speaker 1: in together after six months of dated because it was 602 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,840 Speaker 1: important to me to know that how that would go 603 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,080 Speaker 1: before we decided if he was going to come with me. 604 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,440 Speaker 1: This entire time, he has been unwavering saying he is 605 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,000 Speaker 1: coming with me to Australia. However, it's now time for 606 00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 1: us to start getting things paid for and sorted out, 607 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,360 Speaker 1: and he isn't formed me that he has not started saving. 608 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: I laid out his expenses for him months ago, but 609 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,760 Speaker 1: didn't want to go so far as policing his finances 610 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,680 Speaker 1: for him. He makes twice as much as me. I've 611 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,280 Speaker 1: been laid off because of COVID. I'm going to have 612 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 1: tuition on top of other expenses, and I'm ready. 613 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,520 Speaker 5: So why isn't he? Is it wrong that I'm frustrated 614 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 5: in questioning our future because of this? 615 00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:26,200 Speaker 3: No, No, I don't think so at all. I think 616 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,160 Speaker 3: that's something you have to do. I think it's a 617 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 3: conversation that you know, we have. I think I think 618 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,560 Speaker 3: a lot of marriages have conversations about money and budgets 619 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 3: and every respect and yeah, I think every marriage, And 620 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,280 Speaker 3: I think that's healthy to have that. And I don't 621 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 3: think that's I think that's a conversation that you know 622 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,920 Speaker 3: needs to have so that you guys are on the 623 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,080 Speaker 3: same page because you don't want that to that's that's 624 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:56,240 Speaker 3: it shows kind of his value of the dollar and 625 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:56,800 Speaker 3: everything too. 626 00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, It's it's almost like it was a you and 627 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 2: test in this, like in this situation of how he 628 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:09,440 Speaker 2: would be with finances, not forever, but in the foreseeable future. 629 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 2: Because if she just said, out of responsibility, hey, this 630 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:13,720 Speaker 2: is what we need to do. She even laid it 631 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:15,560 Speaker 2: out for him, Hey, if you're really serious about this, 632 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,080 Speaker 2: like this is what we need to do to make 633 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 2: it happen, and he just dump paying the attention to it, 634 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:21,480 Speaker 2: I'd be. 635 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 3: Like, hmm, oh, well, I think too. It's like, don't 636 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 3: just like be like I can't do this, I'm done, 637 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,160 Speaker 3: but just have more of a conversation around it two 638 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 3: to be like, hey, this kind of bothered me and 639 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,680 Speaker 3: frustrated me, and I'm a little concerned. 640 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh for sure, But I feel like. 641 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 3: That puts a lot of pressure on you too, Like 642 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 3: if someone moved out for me, Like I mean, I 643 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,240 Speaker 3: remember talking to my high school sweetheart about it when 644 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:47,960 Speaker 3: I lived in California. I almost felt like a responsibility 645 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,680 Speaker 3: that like I would have to then stay with him 646 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:53,120 Speaker 3: because I'm the reason that he would have moved out 647 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:56,600 Speaker 3: to California. So then I would have like maybe stayed 648 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,320 Speaker 3: with him longer because I felt bad that I relocated 649 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 3: him and that that sucks too for that person. 650 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:06,640 Speaker 2: Well, Jack, just like when I moved to Nashville for you, you, 651 00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:11,160 Speaker 2: Janna was trying to pimp me out to every like 652 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 2: boyfriend or husband, to all of her girlfriends, like anytime, Oh, 653 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 2: get each other's numbers? Do you like golf? Oh he 654 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 2: likes off? Do you like this? Do you think I'm 655 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:22,520 Speaker 2: just like honey, like it'll happen like platonically, Like you 656 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,000 Speaker 2: can't just be like take one number, take take his number, 657 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:26,440 Speaker 2: take his number. Okay, no, I want to see you. 658 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:28,560 Speaker 2: You know, it's awkward when guys like get each other's number. 659 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,080 Speaker 2: I don't know why. I just kind of is sometimes 660 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 2: and Jan's like sitting there watching us to make sure 661 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 2: we get each other's. 662 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 3: Number, and it's like, Okay, I just want you to 663 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:36,680 Speaker 3: have friends, I. 664 00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:38,440 Speaker 2: Know, But that's what I'm saying. To your point, you 665 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 2: took on the responsibility. It's like my happy, my happiness. 666 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 2: You made your responsibility because someone moves moves somewhere for you, 667 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 2: So I could see how that is a lot of 668 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:52,960 Speaker 2: pressure on the person that's you know, the inspiration for 669 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:53,680 Speaker 2: someone to move. 670 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,200 Speaker 3: All right, bye guys. 671 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:00,920 Speaker 2: Yeah,