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Speaker 1: When I release my insecurities, no matter how large or small,

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Speaker 1: I remember who I am. I feel secure that I

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Speaker 1: am good enough and smart enough.

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Speaker 2: What's going on? Everyone, Emily A body here.

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Speaker 3: You are listening to episode two hundred and fifty of Hurdle,

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Speaker 3: a wellness focused podcast. Reconnect with everyone from your favorite

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Speaker 3: athletes to top experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs,

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Speaker 3: toughest moments, and everything in between. We all go through

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Speaker 3: hurdles in life, and my goal through these discussions is

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Speaker 3: to empower you to better navigate yours and move with

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Speaker 3: intention so that you can stride towards your own big

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Speaker 3: potential and of course, have some fun along the way.

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Speaker 3: For today's episode, I am chatting with Liz Herz. She

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Speaker 3: is the creator of Wordiful, which is a video and

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Speaker 3: live event series that focuses on the importance of how

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Speaker 3: we communicate with ourselves and others. Plus, you can also

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Speaker 3: find some goodies from Wordiful, like their card game which

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Speaker 3: is wildly popular, as well as affirmation cards and the newest.

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Speaker 2: Release, a Wordiful Journal.

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Speaker 3: Liz herself is a former radio host and entertainment reporter

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Speaker 3: for Access Hollywood, and in today's episode, she talks about

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Speaker 3: the major life events, including the unfortunate loss of her mother,

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Speaker 3: which encouraged her to make a major pivot. In today's episode,

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Speaker 3: Liz talks to us about the major asque that she

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Speaker 3: made to get wordiful truly off the ground, totally one

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Speaker 3: of those if you don't go for it, you'll never

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Speaker 3: know moments that's going to inspire you to step outside

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Speaker 3: of your comfort zone asap. We also talk a lot

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Speaker 3: about grief and lessons that we can learn from grief,

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Speaker 3: and the science behind affirmations why repeating things, especially powerful

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Speaker 3: words and phrases to ourselves can really.

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Speaker 2: Make a major impact.

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Speaker 3: Make sure, if you're not doing so just yet, you're

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Speaker 3: following along with Hurdle over on social It's over at

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Speaker 3: Hurdle Podcast. I am over at Emily a body and

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Speaker 3: if you've got a question on your mind, I want

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Speaker 3: to answer it in an upcoming episode. Hit the show

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Speaker 3: notes and click the link to leave me a voice message.

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Speaker 2: I can't wait to see what you got.

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Speaker 3: Also, a last little bit of housekeeping, I added a

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Speaker 3: few more sweatshirts into the merch section on the Hurdle website,

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Speaker 3: so if you get in there fast, you may be

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Speaker 3: able to snaggle on for yourself. I promise there is

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Speaker 3: more merch coming soon, so stay tuned.

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Speaker 2: And with that, let's get to it.

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Speaker 3: Let's get to hurdling.

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Speaker 2: Today.

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Speaker 3: I am sitting down with Liz Hernandez. She's the creator

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Speaker 3: of Wordiful. How are you doing today, Liz?

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Speaker 2: I'm good, Emily, how are you so good?

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Speaker 3: I'm so happy that we're finally able to make this happen.

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Speaker 3: I feel as though knowing you and knowing wordiful, got

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Speaker 3: to ask you how you're doing.

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Speaker 1: Really, you know, it's nice to be able to say

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Speaker 1: that I'm in a really good place. I've been doing

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Speaker 1: a lot of the work, and I know that means

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Speaker 1: a lot of things, a lot of different things to everyone,

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Speaker 1: But you know, I took this past weekend to do

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Speaker 1: a digital detox, a lot of meditation, a lot of

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Speaker 1: just being with myself, and I will say, you know,

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Speaker 1: there's a reason why people tell us it really does work.

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Speaker 1: It helped neutralize my emotions, so I wasn't being impacted

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Speaker 1: by a lot of external elements. My emotions weren't up

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Speaker 1: and down. I could let my judge rest and I

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Speaker 1: feel really good. It was a nice way to start

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Speaker 1: my week. And I'm still in that space.

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Speaker 3: I love that I could let my judge rest what

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Speaker 3: a phrase.

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Speaker 4: Well, think about it.

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Speaker 1: Every time we get on social media, we become the judge, right.

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Speaker 1: We say this is good, this is bad, this makes

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Speaker 1: me happy, this makes me angry, this makes me We

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Speaker 1: have a thought about everything, and every thought we have

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Speaker 1: is either impacting us positively or negatively. And stepping away

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Speaker 1: from it, I realized how much more neutral I am,

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Speaker 1: how much more in control I am of what I

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Speaker 1: want to give my attention to.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and what beautiful awareness that is right knowing what

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Speaker 3: positively and negatively impacts you and taking the time to

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Speaker 3: do that inner audit something that you do regularly.

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Speaker 1: I just started. And I think this was the first

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Speaker 1: time I've stepped away from social media in such a

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Speaker 1: deliberate way. And I now having been out of it.

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Speaker 1: And when I say I stepped away from social media,

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Speaker 1: I also stepped away from being on the phone, no

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Speaker 1: text messaging, really deliberate of my phone, just being completely

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Speaker 1: away from me. And what I also discovered was we

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Speaker 1: go in searching for something, whether it's someone to validate

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Speaker 1: our mood that day, whether if we're already feeling victimized.

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Speaker 1: We're like someone's gonna post something that's gonna make me right,

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Speaker 1: or we feel triggered when someone makes us wrong. So

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Speaker 1: just being able to sit with myself and look at

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Speaker 1: what am I feeling today really and how can I

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Speaker 1: comfort myself as opposed to looking for validation or looking

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Speaker 1: for someone else to enhance that emotion.

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Speaker 4: So, yeah, that was it.

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Speaker 2: That was it.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's really interesting also recognizing that I'm looking

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Speaker 3: for something when I'm picking up my device right, and

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Speaker 3: that's something is either something that you know, like you're

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Speaker 3: seeking like oh I need to check the forecast, or

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Speaker 3: also it can be as you noted, unconscious. So knowing

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Speaker 3: that both can exist and having that awareness is super interesting. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: before we keep ongoing, obviously at the top of this

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Speaker 3: I mentioned wordiful. Why don't you tell the people that

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Speaker 3: don't know what it is all about?

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Speaker 2: What it is?

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Speaker 4: In a nutshell?

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Speaker 1: Wordiful focuses on the power of words and storytelling and

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Speaker 1: how we connect through sharing our stories with one another,

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Speaker 1: and we do this by focusing on one word at

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Speaker 1: a time. So Worderful is an online video series. Our

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Speaker 1: main hub is through wordaful dot com, Instagram, and it's

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Speaker 1: usually myself or I love to bring in a guest

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Speaker 1: to share their one word and how that word has

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Speaker 1: impacted them, what they're learning from that word, maybe how

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Speaker 1: they were misusing that word, myself included. But it's really

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Speaker 1: just about connection and being able to see ourselves at

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Speaker 1: each other's stories.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so beautiful.

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Speaker 3: Now, obviously storytelling something that's been a passion of yours

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Speaker 3: for some time. Give us some background about when storytelling

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Speaker 3: started to become really important to you.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's whether I knew it or not, it's

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Speaker 1: always been in my DNA. As far as how much

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Speaker 1: I've I've just enjoyed it and it makes me come alive.

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Speaker 1: And so I started radio when I was eighteen years old,

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Speaker 1: and I was really lucky. I'll give you the fast rendition.

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Speaker 1: I started doing morning radio in LA when I was

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Speaker 1: twenty two twenty three, So in two thousand and there

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Speaker 1: was this beautiful connection that happened with at least my

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Speaker 1: experience with myself in the city of Los Angeles. This

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Speaker 1: is before Instagram and Twitter. This is I think right

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Speaker 1: when MySpace was starting to take off, So there was

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Speaker 1: no real seeing what's going on in other people's lives

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Speaker 1: other than the stories you're telling on radio, and you're

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Speaker 1: connecting people to what happened at the Laker game, what

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Speaker 1: happened in your life, and it was really beautiful just

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Speaker 1: to see the phones light up and other people share

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Speaker 1: their similar experiences. And so in my career of entertainment,

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Speaker 1: that took me then to television, and when I landed

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Speaker 1: in primetime television at Access Hollywood in two thousand thirteen

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Speaker 1: or fourteen, my mother was diagnosed. Gosh, it might have

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Speaker 1: been earlier than that, twenty twelve. Maybe my mother was

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Speaker 1: diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Well, it was dementia, but Alzheimer's is

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Speaker 1: what it would manifest into. And my mother began to

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Speaker 1: lose her words.

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Speaker 4: And my.

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Speaker 1: Mom was such a cheerleader in my life. I say

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Speaker 1: she was like the iPhone plug where she gave me

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Speaker 1: that charge and that juice to just remind me that

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Speaker 1: I was loved and that I had what it took

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Speaker 1: to do anything I wanted to do. She was really

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Speaker 1: that positive influence in my life. And so when her

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Speaker 1: words started to diminish, I realized that I would then

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Speaker 1: have to step up and learn to mother myself in

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Speaker 1: that way and be powerful with my own words. Again,

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Speaker 1: this didn't happen overnight. It was a long process that

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Speaker 1: I had to learn all of this. But with that,

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Speaker 1: as I was on the stage in Access Hollywood and

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Speaker 1: doing entertainment news, I thought, oh my god, what is

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Speaker 1: my message out into the world. It can't just be

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Speaker 1: what Britney Spears had for breakfast. There has to be

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Speaker 1: more to it. And so I decided I was going

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Speaker 1: to flip on a camera and do these sixty second

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Speaker 1: little vignette videos and upload them to YouTube and just

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Speaker 1: start talking about the power of words. And these videos

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Speaker 1: and this space became my diary, my journal, my confessional.

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Speaker 1: It was just a place to really open up and

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Speaker 1: express myself in a way that I was craving and

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Speaker 1: I think other people were craving that as well, because

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Speaker 1: then a community started to build and it has now

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Speaker 1: blossomed into wordful.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, thank you for sharing that story. How did

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Speaker 2: you continue.

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Speaker 3: To show up at your day job navigating all the

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Speaker 3: emotions that went hand in hand with your mother's diagnosis.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't pretty. It was a lot of.

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Speaker 4: It was an emotional role coaster.

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Speaker 1: There were moments where I'd be sitting in hair and

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Speaker 1: makeup and cry my entire face off because there I

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Speaker 1: didn't have anyone in my life who had been through

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Speaker 1: what I was going through, so there was no blue

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Speaker 1: There was no blueprint for how do you deal with

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Speaker 1: losing your mother. Whilst it wasn't like my mother had

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Speaker 1: cancer where I could talk to her about her illness,

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Speaker 1: my mother was mentally disappearing her memory. When you lose

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Speaker 1: your memories, you lose the blue the fingerprint of who

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Speaker 1: you are. You know, there were days where she didn't

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Speaker 1: even know me, so you're grieving. It felt like I

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Speaker 1: was going to small funerals every time I saw her.

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Speaker 1: There was a part of me that was having to

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Speaker 1: let her go. And then you have to go back

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Speaker 1: into your professional setting and put on a dress and

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Speaker 1: spanks and hills and makeup and hair and act like

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Speaker 1: you're the happy person who's bringing the news to the world.

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Speaker 1: And it was such a duality in my world where

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Speaker 1: I was so happy and proud to be standing on

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Speaker 1: a stage to represent, especially for other Latinas and Latinos,

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Speaker 1: that we belong here. And I've worked really hard in

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Speaker 1: my career to make it this far. But the actual

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Speaker 1: you know, I think what I learned is that when

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Speaker 1: people say it really is the journey, because sometimes you

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Speaker 1: get to the destination and you're like, this isn't actually

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Speaker 1: what makes me happy. I was proud that I made

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Speaker 1: it that far, but it wasn't what I wanted to

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Speaker 1: do with the rest of my life, especially when the

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Speaker 1: person I loved the most was dying. And yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was a balancing act constantly. It was I'm really appreciative

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Speaker 1: to be here, but so sad and grieving in this

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Speaker 1: moment that I'm losing my mother. And there were moments

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Speaker 1: I had to walk off stage and just can I

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Speaker 1: get five minutes just so I could keep it together.

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Speaker 1: There were moments where I completely lost it, where you

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Speaker 1: just you can't keep it together, and that's part of

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Speaker 1: being human. And I think, looking back now, it's like, gosh,

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Speaker 1: I wish I could have given myself so much more

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Speaker 1: compassion for the daughter that was grieving.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, wow, again, thank you for sharing that.

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Speaker 3: And it's so understandable, right, that emotion that comes with

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Speaker 3: that feeling as though you're attending a funeral regularly. That's

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Speaker 3: not something that anyone wants to go through, especially on

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Speaker 3: any sort of a public stage, right, So for you

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Speaker 3: to be able to endure that and still show up

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Speaker 3: for yourself or at least for the job. And the

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Speaker 3: capacity is truly it's impressive and it's beautiful. Now during

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Speaker 3: this time is Liz taking care of Liz.

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Speaker 1: So what I know we started the conversation where I

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Speaker 1: mentioned that I'm doing the work, and part of that

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Speaker 1: work for me is really tapping in. And I've heard

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Speaker 1: it so many times people say, oh, you have to

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Speaker 1: take care of your inner child, and I really I

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Speaker 1: understood it, but I didn't really get it till now.

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Speaker 1: And part of my daily practice is checking in with

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Speaker 1: my inner child, that little girl that does feel scared,

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Speaker 1: that is sad that she lost her mother, and saying, okay,

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Speaker 1: I take it from here, and what does she need,

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Speaker 1: the little Liz inside of me, What does she need

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Speaker 1: today to feel safe, to feel seen, to feel empowered,

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Speaker 1: to know that no matter what, I have her back,

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Speaker 1: that I'm now the caregiver, that I'm going to mother her.

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Speaker 1: And so it's taking all of the beautiful things that

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Speaker 1: I've learned in this lifetime and now being able to

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Speaker 1: apply it to my scared little girl who isn't so

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Speaker 1: scared anymore, which is nice because she feels safe.

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I was gonna say, tell me about that,

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Speaker 3: tell me about what it feels like now to not

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Speaker 3: feel as scared anymore. Despite I know we haven't covered

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Speaker 3: this yet, but the loss of your mother.

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Speaker 1: You know, when I remember it was probably the day

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Speaker 1: before she died, I felt like I couldn't catch my breath.

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Speaker 1: It was like there were it was kind of leading

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Speaker 1: up to it, and I knew it was coming, and

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Speaker 1: it felt like the best way I can explain it,

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Speaker 1: as if it's as if someone has taken you into space,

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Speaker 1: and you know how, you're in the space suit and

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Speaker 1: there's that cord that connects you to the spaceship. It

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Speaker 1: felt like someone cut it and now I'm just drifting

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Speaker 1: in space. I'm out in the abyss, and I'm not

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Speaker 1: ever going to come back, and I have no idea

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Speaker 1: what is going to happen. That's truly what it felt like.

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Speaker 1: And luckily I have such beautiful mentors in my life

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Speaker 1: that reminded me because I felt And the reason I

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Speaker 1: felt like that is because I felt a huge sense

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Speaker 1: of abandonment. The person I love the most is no

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Speaker 1: longer going to be here, So what does that mean?

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Speaker 4: For me.

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Speaker 1: And what I realized, thank God for some really beautiful

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Speaker 1: people in my life. My mentor had told me, I

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Speaker 1: now need to learn to mother myself because what really

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Speaker 1: causes what's really causing me pain was me abandoning me.

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Speaker 3: Wow, but that's really powerful, right, because abandoning it's like

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Speaker 3: you had so long to come to an understanding of

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Speaker 3: what life could be like without your mother, but then

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Speaker 3: when you finally met in this situation where you do

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Speaker 3: have to take care of yourself, ignoring how you feel

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Speaker 3: is like something that we're all so guilty of. But

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Speaker 3: if you don't come to terms with the fact that

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Speaker 3: that's what's happening, and you're going to be just stuck

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Speaker 3: in this constant cycle of anger and sadness and gosh,

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Speaker 3: so many emotions.

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Speaker 1: Right, And it's really easy. And when we're feeling that

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Speaker 1: way then to give our power away and say, Okay,

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Speaker 1: who's the next person I can cling onto that's going

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Speaker 1: to make me feel safe as opposed to making myself

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Speaker 1: feel safe.

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Speaker 2: So who did you cling on too?

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Speaker 1: I think you know, while my mom was in transition,

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Speaker 1: when she started on hospice, I was trying to backpedal

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Speaker 1: into my last relationship. It was like I knew it

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Speaker 1: was right to break up, and then as soon as

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Speaker 1: I lost that relationship, I was like, oh, what did

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Speaker 1: I do?

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Speaker 4: I'm on my own.

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Speaker 1: I feel this and I went back when I knew

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Speaker 1: it it wasn't the right thing to try to go back.

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Speaker 1: And so once my mother died, I think that I

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Speaker 1: had under already understood that and I felt supported enough

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Speaker 1: to where I wasn't trying to cling on to anyone.

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Speaker 1: I was just trying to understand what it now meant

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Speaker 1: to be without a mother.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So let's talk about what happens for you when

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Speaker 3: you leave Access Hollywood. How does that feel for you

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Speaker 3: at first?

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Speaker 1: You know, I think I had been mentally preparing myself

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Speaker 1: for months. I had been like mentally lining up my ducks.

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Speaker 1: And when I just remember my last day there and

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Speaker 1: driving off, I always say like it felt like I

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Speaker 1: was driving off like a college campus, like when you graduate,

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Speaker 1: and I'll never forget I drove off the lot and

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Speaker 1: I think John Mayer, I don't know if it was

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Speaker 1: one of his happy songs, something about the world's at

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Speaker 1: a better place.

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Speaker 2: Or I don't on the world to change, Yes, waiting.

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Speaker 4: On thank you.

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Speaker 1: That song was playing, and I drove off campus. I

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Speaker 1: drove off the lot, and I had never felt so

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Speaker 1: free for a lot of different reasons, one being that

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Speaker 1: now I had the liberty to be with my mother

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Speaker 1: and I could be with her every day, and time

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Speaker 1: was of the essence. There was a sense of urgency,

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Speaker 1: and I had also freed myself from something that I

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Speaker 1: was not. I was never the girl that was supposed

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Speaker 1: to be in the high heels and the tight drift.

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Speaker 1: I grew up a tomboy. I love storytelling. I love

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Speaker 1: meeting new people and hearing their stories. I love community

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Speaker 1: and what I realized in television, and you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: so grateful. This is never about I had a horrible

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Speaker 1: experience or I don't like that situation. You know, that institute,

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Speaker 1: it was just about a learning It was it was schooling.

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Speaker 1: And what I thrive off of is community and storytelling.

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Speaker 1: And when I was on that stage in television, I

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Speaker 1: was looking into a teleprompter with words scrolling up, and

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Speaker 1: you're like looking into a dark black hole and there's

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Speaker 1: no one there to talk back to you. It just

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Speaker 1: goes out. And there was in what I was saying

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Speaker 1: had no value in my opinion, like I'm going to

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Speaker 1: talk about someone's divorce or someone's million dollar mansion, and

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Speaker 1: what what am I doing to serve the community in

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Speaker 1: that way or the person I'm talking about or myself?

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Speaker 2: Right, So much power in that realization, truly.

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Speaker 3: So it's during this time as well that you start

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Speaker 3: to concept then understandably, so what's next?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just took a leap of faith of you know,

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Speaker 1: word a ful had already started to really have some

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Speaker 1: momentum and have its legs, and I thought, Okay, now

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Speaker 1: is the opportunity for me to really breathe my whole

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Speaker 1: self into this brand that I believe in. And I

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Speaker 1: had no idea, emily what was going to happen with it.

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Speaker 4: None.

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Speaker 1: And I was really fortunate that I had so many

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Speaker 1: people that supported me and that believed in it as well,

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Speaker 1: and that also craved being seen and craved community.

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Speaker 4: That it worked.

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Speaker 3: So in the early stages, what did it working look like?

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Speaker 1: I have to say, you know, there was a lot

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Speaker 1: of beautiful, serendipitous moments. There was a lot of again,

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Speaker 1: a lot of support. I was really fortunate. So when

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Speaker 1: I say it just worked, I remember one of my

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Speaker 1: last interviews at Access Hollywood, and I already knew I

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Speaker 1: was leaving, but nobody else did. And I had one

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Speaker 1: of my last interviews was was with Oprah, and I

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Speaker 1: just kept thinking, if I could just.

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Speaker 4: Go work for the own network, that would be ideal.

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Speaker 1: Like that's where I That's the type of storytelling I

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Speaker 1: want to do.

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Speaker 4: That's the kind of energy I want in my career.

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Speaker 1: And one of my last interviews was with her, and

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Speaker 1: I asked her if I could show her a wordaful

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Speaker 1: episode and she said yes, and I showed her the

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Speaker 1: word thankful and we had a really lovely conversation and

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Speaker 1: we started talking about ed Cart totally and she says,

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Speaker 1: you know, I always tell my girls that Edgar said.

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Speaker 1: Edgart says, if you could only say one prayer, let

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Speaker 1: it be thank you. And we just had this incredible

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Speaker 1: exchange and my producer was so kind shout out to Lee.

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Speaker 4: She ended up.

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Speaker 1: I asked her, I said, can you do a They

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Speaker 1: had followed up with her. They said, oh, Oprah had

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Speaker 1: a great interview with Liz. We're really appreciative. And I said,

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Speaker 1: can you reply and just ask them if I can

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Speaker 1: take a meeting and they said yes, and I took

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Speaker 1: a meeting and within six months, Wordaful was on the

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Speaker 1: own network and that was just a dream come true.

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Speaker 1: But as another thing that had happened as well was

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Speaker 1: my first event. So I was doing live events. And

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Speaker 1: these live events, like three hundred people would show up

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Speaker 1: and it was just a way again to connect and

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Speaker 1: have community and share our stories. And when my mother

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Speaker 1: was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I knew Catherine Schwarzenegger and

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Speaker 1: she had come to eat. I had worked at E

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Speaker 1: News a few times and we had a mutual friend,

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Speaker 1: and so our mutual friend had told her, you know,

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Speaker 1: what was happening in my life. And Maria Shriver one

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Speaker 1: day just sends me an email and I'm like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, Maria Shriver's emailing me, like what is happening

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Speaker 1: right now? And she was so lovely. We jumped on

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Speaker 1: the phone and her father passed away from Alzheimer's, and

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Speaker 1: she said, I want you to be an advocate. You

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Speaker 1: need to turn your pain into purpose. Because my mother

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Speaker 1: was really private and I didn't know if I wanted

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Speaker 1: to share her story. I wanted to honor who my

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Speaker 1: mother was. At the same time, I understood what Maria

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Speaker 1: was saying to me, some other daughter is going to

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Speaker 1: go through the same pain if I don't talk about

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Speaker 1: what the warning signs are, if I don't use my

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Speaker 1: voice to not let my pain and my mother's pain

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Speaker 1: and her journey go in vain. So I say all

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Speaker 1: of that to say when I left Access and took

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Speaker 1: on Worderful full time, my first event was with Maria

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Speaker 1: Shreiver and it was just beautiful and it kind of

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Speaker 1: set the momentum for my company going forward.

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Speaker 3: So what would happen at these events?

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Speaker 1: So every event is very different. The one with Maria

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Speaker 1: she was releasing.

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Speaker 4: Her book, which I have somewhere behind me, but and

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Speaker 4: it was great.

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Speaker 1: We had a conversation about this book that was very

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Speaker 1: personal to her, and we also just talked about life.

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Speaker 1: You know, these events are very personal. It's really about

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Speaker 1: again talking about things that we've been through, challenges, heartaches, victories, losses.

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Speaker 1: I always say, as human beings, there's only so there's

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Speaker 1: only so many emotions that we can go through, right,

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Speaker 1: and no one's exempt You feel joy, I feel joy,

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Speaker 1: I feel sadness. You feel sadness, you feel heartache. I

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Speaker 1: felt heartache. And so these are just a collection of

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Speaker 1: us sharing all of these stories so that we feel

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Speaker 1: less alone in the journey.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and so when you stepped outside of your comfort

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Speaker 3: zone and started to share about your mother's story, how

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Speaker 3: did that make you feel?

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Speaker 1: First, it was really vulnerable. Like I said, there was

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Speaker 1: a part of me that again, my mother was extremely

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Speaker 1: private person, so I had to get over the idea

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Speaker 1: that I would betraying her and the guilt of not

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Speaker 1: honoring her. But the more I spoke up about it,

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Speaker 1: the more I saw other people step forward and say,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I think maybe this is what my

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Speaker 1: parent might have or yeah, my mother's done that, maybe

441
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,399
Speaker 1: it's time to get her tested, or other people that

442
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 1: had already been on the journey. And what I found

443
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 1: to be so beautiful was when I did my first

444
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 1: Alzheimer's walk. There were so many people that had stories

445
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,919
Speaker 1: similar to mine, and I felt so much less alone,

446
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 1: Like when they were like my mother used to do

447
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 1: this thing where she would hide the spoon. She would

448
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 1: gather all the spoons, as many spoons as she would

449
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 1: hide them in the closet. And when someone said, oh,

450
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 1: my mother hides the forks, I just started crying because

451
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, you get it, you get it,

452
00:26:55,400 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: and again there's something so beautiful even in the pain

453
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:01,959
Speaker 1: of having those things in common.

454
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to give some love

455
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:14,159
Speaker 3: to my sponsor at Elements. Element is the maker of

456
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Speaker 3: delicious electrolytes, which are a part a staple of my

457
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Speaker 3: regular routine.

458
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 2: Now.

459
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 3: It's not only important to make sure you're getting in

460
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Speaker 3: electrolytes during before and after activity, but also just in

461
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Speaker 3: general because hydration it's not just about drinking enough water right.

462
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 3: To stay properly hydrated, you need to consume adequate electrolytes too,

463
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 3: and that's because they help their nerve impulses, fire regulate fluid, balance,

464
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 3: help produce energy, and support strong bones.

465
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Speaker 2: I am planning.

466
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 3: One of my first long bike rides of the beautiful

467
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 3: summer season. It's coming, I feel it, and aside from

468
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,119
Speaker 3: getting my bike ready, the first thing I thought to

469
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 3: myself was that I need to make sure stock up

470
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471
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472
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473
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474
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475
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476
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Speaker 3: com slash hurdle, you can get a free sample pack

477
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:31,320
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478
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 3: drink l mnt dot com slash hurdle to get a

479
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 3: free sample pack of all of the flavors today. Let's

480
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 3: get back to it, to dial back to kind of

481
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 3: removing yourself from your comfort zone, going out of your

482
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 3: way to ask Oprah and the team for another meeting.

483
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 3: For anyone else who may have an idea like you did,

484
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 3: what advice do you have to for them when it

485
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 3: comes to getting that idea off the ground.

486
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 4: Just you just you just got to take action. You know.

487
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: I think what can stop us, especially as women, is

488
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: we doubt ourselves a lot. We have the skill set,

489
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 1: we have the passion, we have the drive, we have

490
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 1: the good ideas, but we a lot we give so

491
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 1: much more energy to self doubt, into the inner critic

492
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 1: and negative self talk and you know, the what ifs,

493
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,479
Speaker 1: and you just got to do it.

494
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 4: You just got to do.

495
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: It because even if it if, even if it fails,

496
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 1: that's still information. I don't believe there is actual failure.

497
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,959
Speaker 1: I believe failure is just information for what we can

498
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 1: do better the next time.

499
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 3: For the person who hears that and then struggles with

500
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 3: getting over that inner critic, with beating that negative self doubt,

501
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 3: that negative self talk, what advice do you have for

502
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 3: them to be able to get over that hurdle.

503
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 1: Affirmations, affirmations, journaling, I think that is, and getting quiet

504
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 1: with yourself so you can actually be the observer to

505
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 1: how critical we can be sometimes just sitting and watching

506
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 1: that inner voice of knowing, Okay, what's going on here?

507
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: Why am I being so critical of myself? And you know,

508
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 1: one of the things I had to really learn is

509
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 1: usually how we handle ourselves is how a parent handled us. Right,

510
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: So if you had a critical parent, we tend to

511
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,719
Speaker 1: be critical of ourselves. Like my mom was both loving

512
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 1: and she was very strict and hard on me. So

513
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 1: I have to realize that while I can be very

514
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 1: loving with myself, I also can be very strict and

515
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 1: hard on myself and very rigid. And it's in that

516
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:56,560
Speaker 1: realization that I have to say, Okay, it's time to

517
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: mother live.

518
00:30:58,320 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 4: And I do that.

519
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 1: Through repeating affirmations. You know, Repetition is the fastest way

520
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: to train the brain. And when I that was one

521
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: of the tools I used when I was at Access Hollywood.

522
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 1: Every day in my dressing room, I would write out

523
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 1: one affirmation ten times and I would take it with

524
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: me throughout the day and I would just anytime I

525
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: felt uncomfortable, I felt sad, I felt stuck, I would

526
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 1: repeat it and repeat it and repeat it. And that's

527
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 1: literally what gave me the courage to then create my

528
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 1: own affirmations.

529
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,960
Speaker 2: For wordful hit me with some example affirmations.

530
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 4: Oh, I got them right here. What do you want?

531
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 4: What do you want?

532
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 2: You tell me? You tell me, I'm.

533
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 4: Going to give you secure.

534
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 1: So when I release my insecurities, no matter how large

535
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 1: or small, I remember who I am. I feel secure

536
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: that I am good enough and smart enough.

537
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 4: Read another, We're going to do the word release.

538
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: I release old thought patterns and habits that no longer

539
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: serve me. I let go of the need to replace situations.

540
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 4: In my mind. The past has no power over me.

541
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: The past has no power over me.

542
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 3: Oftentimes we hear about affirmations, and some of them can

543
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 3: be dramatically aspirational, and others, like the two that you

544
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 3: just listed for me, anyway, they definitely read a lot

545
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 3: more realistic, obtainable, something that I can truly say to myself,

546
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 3: and it can be something that I bring with me.

547
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 3: As you mentioned you did throughout the day. Have you

548
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 3: gone through times in your life where one of those

549
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 3: two categories has worked better than the other.

550
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. You know, I don't think there's any

551
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 1: right or wrong way to do to do life. I

552
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: think you have to do what works best for you.

553
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: The mantra I always go back to is life is

554
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: happening for me, not to me. And even in the

555
00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: toughest situations, I truly believe that something there for me

556
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 1: to learn. And if I'm willing to see the positive,

557
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 1: even in a really horrible situation and a really negative situation,

558
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 1: if I can find that one positive, then that one

559
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 1: positive is the seed for my growth and for me

560
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 1: to learn.

561
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, now you just reached back for that

562
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 3: deck of affirmations. When did the deck of affirmations and

563
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 3: some of the other products that word aful makes now

564
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 3: come into the picture.

565
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 1: Because affirmations were such a huge part of my grounding

566
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: every day when I was in television, I just thought,

567
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 1: you know, I always give credit to Louise Hay, who

568
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 1: is Queen of Affirmations. I was using her deck and

569
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 1: they felt very long, and they felt a little like

570
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 1: I honored them. But those were her words, and I

571
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 1: wanted affirmations that were my words that felt true for me,

572
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 1: if that made sense. And once Wordaful got going, it

573
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: was like it wasn't a matter of if, it was

574
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 1: just when when I was going to sit down and

575
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 1: do this project. And then during the pandemic and journaling too,

576
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,760
Speaker 1: we created a Wordaful journal that was really the first

577
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,720
Speaker 1: tool that I ever had. I've I've been gratitude journaling

578
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 1: for eighteen years and it really you know, you hear

579
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,800
Speaker 1: all these benefits to gratitude journaling, but when it really

580
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 1: hit me was when I was in my darkest hour

581
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 1: and I had just finished. I was standing in the

582
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 1: shower and you know, the water's coming over my head.

583
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 1: This is when my mother had started on hospice, My

584
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 1: relationship was over. I had just taken on wordaful. It

585
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 1: felt like a lot of pressure and I turned the

586
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: water off and I just literally buckled over and did

587
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: the ugly cry, and I was just so devastated. The

588
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,879
Speaker 1: person I love isn't here my mother's dying. There goes

589
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 1: my insurance and my secure paycheck. What am I doing?

590
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 1: And then Emily, it just sounded like a file downloading

591
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 1: like and it was like, You're grateful that you've had

592
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 1: a mother who loved you and you've had her for

593
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: seventy three years. You're grateful that you had a relationship

594
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 1: and someone showed up to love you. You're grateful that

595
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 1: you're crying in a shower that has hot water. You're

596
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 1: grateful to be standing in your home. You're grateful all

597
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 1: these things. And it was showing me that those at

598
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 1: the time fifteen years of gratitude journaling, it had the

599
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: rubber band effect. It let me bounce back instead of

600
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,879
Speaker 1: bathing in the negativity. All of a sudden, my brain

601
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 1: was like, Nope, We've worked this muscle and I'm not

602
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 1: going to let you stay there. We're going to bounce

603
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:53,640
Speaker 1: back faster. So gratitude journaling for me is that bounce back.

604
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 1: It's that even when you get a flat tire on

605
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,279
Speaker 1: the side of the road in the middle of four

606
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 1: or five in traffic, you can say, but you know what,

607
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 1: I've got triple a thank God that I was able

608
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: to pull over that I didn't cause a car accident.

609
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 1: There's so many other things we can focus on in

610
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 1: that moment, and it's hard, it's not easy, but at

611
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 1: least you had those tools.

612
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,839
Speaker 3: So right, So two things to double click on then,

613
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 3: the first being that so these products came to fruition

614
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 3: mostly during the pandemic, Is that right?

615
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 1: No? So the journal came throughout my like I said,

616
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 1: I've been generally for eighteen years really when I've always

617
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: known I wanted to do the journal. It's actually been

618
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,400
Speaker 1: in the works for the last two years and it

619
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 1: finally just dropped about a month ago, so I'm really

620
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 1: proud of it. The affirmation cards came right when Wadful

621
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:46,279
Speaker 1: pretty much launched, like maybe a year after. And then

622
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 1: what came during the pandemic is a game I created

623
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 1: called No Room for Small Talk because I was only

624
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 1: hanging out with two or three of my friends and

625
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,799
Speaker 1: you can only ask so many times would you do today.

626
00:36:58,320 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 4: Especially when we weren't doing.

627
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,759
Speaker 1: Any thing, and I thought, you know, wouldn't it be

628
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,799
Speaker 1: nice to know my friends on a deeper level and

629
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,480
Speaker 1: ask questions that are actually meaningful where I can get

630
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 1: to really know who they are, Like what is your

631
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 1: favorite memory about how you were raised, or you know,

632
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 1: just how far would you move for love? Things like

633
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 1: that that just help us connect in a way that

634
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 1: isn't just small talk.

635
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and so valuable that opportunity to connect on

636
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 3: that deeper level. The other thing I wanted to touch

637
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 3: back on was this recognition of the fact that there

638
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,280
Speaker 3: it can be both, right, Like, it can be both.

639
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 3: You have gratitude for the fact that you have a

640
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 3: warm shower, but you're also feeling deep pain. And I

641
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 3: think that sometimes that can be a challenging dichotomy for

642
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 3: some it's like, how am I supposed to keep this

643
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 3: gratitude journal when it feels like my world is crumbled?

644
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 3: But inversely, that's actually exactly the point, right, so that

645
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 3: you can recognize that both can coexist.

646
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,879
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean, I think that's been the balancing act

647
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:13,279
Speaker 1: of my life for the past seven years, was balancing

648
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 1: grief and gratitude. It doesn't erase, like you have to

649
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 1: fill the grief. You have to You can't push it away,

650
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,400
Speaker 1: you can't run from it. One of my dear mentors

651
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 1: and friends, he is his name's David Kessler, and he's

652
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:34,239
Speaker 1: a a grief and loss expert, and he explains this

653
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 1: story about buffaloes about how when a storm is coming,

654
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 1: buffaloes run towards the storm to alleviate how much time

655
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:46,800
Speaker 1: they'll spend in pain, where we as humans we run

656
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: from the storm, or we keep it to the side,

657
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 1: or we do everything to distract ourselves from going towards

658
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 1: the storm. And what I learned from that is he said,

659
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 1: grief doesn't need a lot of time, it just needs

660
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:02,800
Speaker 1: dedicated time. And so we have to feel, like David says,

661
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 1: we have to feel it to heal it, and it's

662
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,439
Speaker 1: really true. You have to be able to feel those

663
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:10,320
Speaker 1: emotions and go through it so that you can learn

664
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 1: what it is that you need to learn about yourself

665
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 1: and then you can apply the gratitude but also holding

666
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: them at the same time. Is yeah, it's what we do.

667
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:24,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, wow, I've never heard that buffalo analogy before.

668
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 1: You know, whatever we suppress is going to come out

669
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,319
Speaker 1: in another form, It's going to come out in a

670
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 1: different way, right, whether that's road rage, whether that's snapping

671
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 1: at someone, whether that's being constantly angry and aggressive, whatever.

672
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 1: Everyone has a different way, whether that's I'm crying for

673
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 1: no reason, and I don't know why I'm now addicted

674
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:50,360
Speaker 1: to video gaming because it numbs me. I'm addicted to

675
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: Netflix and you know, binge watching my favorite shows because

676
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 1: I'm just doing my best to avoid the thing that

677
00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:02,240
Speaker 1: needs my attention the most, and that's yeah.

678
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:06,320
Speaker 3: Right right, So these days what excites you with word

679
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 3: to Fall, you.

680
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 1: Know, for me, it's really just about expanding community. I

681
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 1: think what I've seen transpire within the last few years

682
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 1: is how many women showed up to events alone and

683
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 1: knew no one, and now there are they show up together.

684
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 1: They show up in like groups of five, and they've

685
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 1: all coordinated and they're they're there for one another. It's

686
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 1: like I'm I was able to just be the catalyst

687
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:36,919
Speaker 1: to bringing them together and now they're dependent on They're

688
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:40,800
Speaker 1: making sub communities within the bigger community, and that really

689
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 1: excites me. And being able to invite different guests now

690
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 1: that people understand what word aful is more having other

691
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 1: people share their stories, because really, when it started, I

692
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,319
Speaker 1: didn't know what I was doing, and now that it's

693
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:58,959
Speaker 1: grown into what it's grown into, eventually I would love

694
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 1: to step back and be more of a producer on

695
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 1: it than the constant storyteller. Not that I don't, because

696
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: I still love sharing and I'm going to learn for

697
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 1: the rest of my life, and there's always something to share.

698
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 1: There's always going to be something you want to share.

699
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 1: But I'm really fascinated in hearing what other people have

700
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 1: experienced in their lives as well.

701
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 3: How does it feel for you to be such a giver?

702
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a double edged sword, right, because what I'm

703
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 1: learning currently in this season of my life is that

704
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 1: when we are constantly the caregiver, we don't give space

705
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 1: for other people to show it for us. And I

706
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 1: am now learning that sometimes I need to just say,

707
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not going to call that person

708
00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 1: today and check on them, and iron that person will

709
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 1: end up calling.

710
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 4: Me checking on me.

711
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 1: So that's probably the best example I can give. But

712
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 1: it does feel it really does feed my soul to

713
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 1: pay forward everything that I'm learning that has been instrumental

714
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 1: in my healing and growth. You know, it's like you I,

715
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 1: at least for me, I get very excited when I

716
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 1: learn something new that has it's like another tool in

717
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 1: my tool belt for life, and I'm like, oh, this

718
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:32,760
Speaker 1: is going to help you build the house.

719
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,399
Speaker 4: Look what I found today. I found a screwdriver. Look

720
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,280
Speaker 4: what I found yesterday? A hammer? I found a saw.

721
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: And you just want to be able to share these

722
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: tools with everyone because they've impacted your life so deeply.

723
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:50,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's really beautiful and I can totally totally

724
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,880
Speaker 3: relate with this, right. It's it's being at the helm

725
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,840
Speaker 3: of a community and wanting nothing more than to be

726
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 3: able to provide whatever resources you have. But in doing that,

727
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 3: it's this constant battle and reminder of self. It's like, hey,

728
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 3: where's your oxygen mask?

729
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 2: Right?

730
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 3: If you're constantly just putting everybody else's oxygen mask on,

731
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 3: then you end up realizing that you can only do

732
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 3: it for so long until you run out of it yourself.

733
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 3: So to hear you talk about your passion and excitement

734
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 3: for lifting up your community and especially them coming together,

735
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:25,840
Speaker 3: it's so special. But it's also just such an important reminder,

736
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:29,280
Speaker 3: right of the importance of taking care of you well.

737
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,399
Speaker 1: And I want to add to that, Emily, because one

738
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 1: thing that I'm also as part of my practice, I

739
00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 1: call it the boomerang. I am such a meet everyone's

740
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 1: needs or I'm going to say I've been because I'm

741
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:46,319
Speaker 1: changing how I would show up is I always felt

742
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 1: like I needed to meet everyone's needs, whether that's my father's,

743
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 1: my sisters, my partners, my dogs, my employees, or my employers,

744
00:43:56,840 --> 00:44:02,359
Speaker 1: even my employees. And before or I have the knee

745
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 1: jerk reaction to let me give them what they need,

746
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 1: I stop and I take a breath now, and I say, okay,

747
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:13,840
Speaker 1: but first, what do I need? So it's the boomerang

748
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 1: as soon as I jump up to say, oh, that

749
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 1: person needs this or that would be really nice if

750
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: I did this for that person. What would be really nice?

751
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:22,919
Speaker 1: What would be a really nice thing that I could

752
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: do for myself?

753
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:24,359
Speaker 4: First?

754
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I love that.

755
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 1: You know.

756
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 3: It also makes me think of the concept of react

757
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 3: versus respond, right, And it's so easy for us to

758
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 3: quickly react. Let's say to an email that pops into

759
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 3: our inbox. It's like, oh, let me just like get

760
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,799
Speaker 3: back to this really quick. But is how you would

761
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 3: react in this moment different than how you might respond

762
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:48,800
Speaker 3: with a little bit more breathing room in twenty four hours.

763
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,320
Speaker 3: If it is, if you can have that level of

764
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 3: self awareness, then maybe you need to be more diligent

765
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 3: and focusing on only the response and less of the reaction, right,

766
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:02,720
Speaker 3: because reacting does and always serve us. But responding clearly

767
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 3: and getting your message message across and being cognizant of

768
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 3: whatever it is that you want from that interaction is

769
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 3: what will eventually help you in the long run.

770
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 1: Absolutely, when we're reacting, we're not looking at all of

771
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 1: our options. But when we take a moment to respond,

772
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 1: we're coming from a whole place. We're responding with the wholeness,

773
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 1: and that gives us Okay, what are my options here,

774
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 1: and how do I want to handle this situation or

775
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 1: this email or whatever the situation is.

776
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:37,920
Speaker 3: You know, what would you say has been one of

777
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 3: the biggest lessons that you have carried with you in

778
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:45,880
Speaker 3: navigating loss and grief.

779
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 4: I would say that.

780
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 1: When when I am grieving, and so many times we

781
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 1: want to question, like why am I still sad? Or

782
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,279
Speaker 1: why does it hurt so much? Or oh my god,

783
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:04,279
Speaker 1: I can't believe I'm still crying, or it's just a

784
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:08,760
Speaker 1: testament to how much I loved my mother. That's really

785
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,239
Speaker 1: what grief is. It's part of being, it's part of

786
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 1: the human journey, it's part of the human process. And

787
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 1: anytime we grieve anything, it's because we cared or we loved.

788
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 3: And it can be so frustrating at times, right, because

789
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 3: it doesn't make it easier to navigate knowing how great

790
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 3: the love was.

791
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean even during the pandemic, think about how

792
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:35,400
Speaker 1: much we grieved, right, We grieved the loss of our freedoms.

793
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 1: We had so much freedom that we didn't realize and

794
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 1: we had to grieve that. But because now there's a

795
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 1: sense of gratitude, right.

796
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

797
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 1: So that's the thing I've realized with losing my mother

798
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,919
Speaker 1: is as sad and as painful as it has been

799
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 1: and continues to be, anytime I go to that place,

800
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 1: I just think, oh, that's how much I loved her

801
00:46:58,080 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 1: and how much she loved me.

802
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, what are you looking forward to in your next chapter?

803
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:10,280
Speaker 1: Showing up for myself and showing up for my inner child,

804
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 1: you know, really giving myself the love and the attention

805
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 1: and the nurturing that I crave and knowing that the

806
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:30,439
Speaker 1: deepest love that I've been craving is my own and

807
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:33,800
Speaker 1: that comes in so many different forms. Whether that's speaking

808
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:38,600
Speaker 1: up for myself, whether that's honoring my boundaries, whether that's

809
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:42,320
Speaker 1: just checking in and getting quiet and asking myself every

810
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 1: single day, What does Liz and little Liz need to

811
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 1: feel safe? So it's just using my words to love

812
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:53,400
Speaker 1: on me.

813
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 3: Oftentimes were made to feel like it needs to be

814
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 3: such a drastic choice to take care of self.

815
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 1: You know, what I'm learning, Emily is that the truth

816
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 1: is really simple. People think like, oh my god, when

817
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 1: you do the work, it's going to be so hard

818
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 1: and ugly and painful, and I get it, a lot

819
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 1: of it can be. But I'm also learning there's a

820
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 1: side of it that's really light and lovely. And the

821
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:22,280
Speaker 1: truth is for me, the truth has been very simple

822
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 1: and easy to lean into.

823
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 3: When you say like light and lovely, it makes me

824
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 3: think of like a Sunday afternoon when I have an

825
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 3: opportunity to like sit outside on a bench and write

826
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:35,840
Speaker 3: or read. Write like that is even a simple way

827
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 3: of doing the work. And I think that oftentimes that

828
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:42,359
Speaker 3: phrase gets like so much hate on it, right, it's like, oh,

829
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 3: she's doing the work, Like.

830
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 1: Well, here's what I want to say so that people

831
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 1: don't think I'm being just like what do they call that, Pollyanna?

832
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,480
Speaker 2: I don't know, like fluffy, yeah.

833
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 1: Or just that I'm positive, you know, I don't want

834
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 1: anyone think that this is any kind of toxic positivity,

835
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 1: because it's not. What I've found to be painful is

836
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 1: when I didn't do the work. It wasn't having the tools.

837
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:09,840
Speaker 1: It was sitting in a place where I felt stuck.

838
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 1: It was not knowing why I've been so hard on myself.

839
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:18,360
Speaker 1: It was not knowing why I was seeking bad relationships.

840
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:22,720
Speaker 1: It was not having understanding that was causing me pain.

841
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 1: And so the minute you take the step towards I'm

842
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 1: going to now get into therapy, I'm going to have

843
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:32,520
Speaker 1: mentors around me that are influencing me in a positive way.

844
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 1: I'm going to be mindful of what I'm taking in,

845
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 1: whether that's through the books I read, whether that's through

846
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 1: positive affirmations, whether that's through the music I listen to.

847
00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 1: I'm going to do a deep cleansing of me. If

848
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 1: that's signing off my phone for a weekend to just

849
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 1: be with myself. That feels so much better to me

850
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:56,840
Speaker 1: than to just allow life to just happen to me

851
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 1: and just float along and be like, well, I'm in

852
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,240
Speaker 1: pain now and I don't know why, and I'm.

853
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 4: Just going to try to get through.

854
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:08,400
Speaker 2: No, thank you, that is not what we want that

855
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:09,439
Speaker 2: is not what we want.

856
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:13,680
Speaker 3: Right now, someone comes to your Instagram page, they see

857
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 3: this beautiful woman, the creator of word a full But

858
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 3: when you look in the mirror, what is it that

859
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 3: you see looking back at you?

860
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:23,000
Speaker 4: Huh?

861
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 1: You know, it changes, It's never the same. And I've

862
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 1: learned to give myself a lot of space to get

863
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 1: curious of who is she today? And you know, it

864
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:44,239
Speaker 1: is really easy to focus on the things I.

865
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:44,160
Speaker 4: Don't like about myself.

866
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 1: We're critical on myself and every time and again this

867
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 1: is because I've done a lot of practicing of when

868
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 1: I do go to that place of oh, look at that,

869
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 1: I say, no, no, inner critic, We're going to be

870
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 1: really kind because we deserve it. And so when I

871
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 1: look in the mirror, I just see someone that is

872
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:13,680
Speaker 1: really trying her best every day and showing up for herself,

873
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:17,399
Speaker 1: and someone who's actually really brave and courageous because she's

874
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:19,879
Speaker 1: choosing to focus on the good and not on the.

875
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:24,359
Speaker 3: Negative, choosing to focus on the good. Liz, I'm so

876
00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:27,280
Speaker 3: happy that we're able to make this time today. Before

877
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 3: I let you go, I've got to ask you this question.

878
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 3: Right now, you have an opportunity to offer yourself a

879
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 3: piece of advice before you started doing the work, when

880
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 3: you were in that tough place, that place that felt

881
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:43,720
Speaker 3: so dark and frustrating. Knowing what you know now looking

882
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 3: at that Hurtle moment, what do you tell yourself?

883
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 1: I would just tell her to give herself patience and

884
00:51:55,640 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 1: compassion and grace, you know, just to to be really

885
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 1: compassionate with herself because she's learning, she's learning.

886
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 3: She's learning amazing. I'm so happy that we were able

887
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:12,759
Speaker 3: to do this. How do the hurdlers follow along with you?

888
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:15,400
Speaker 3: If they don't yet? Give us your information?

889
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:18,439
Speaker 1: And Emily, I just first of all want to say

890
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 1: you are such a gracious interviewer and it's just so

891
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,319
Speaker 1: nice to share this space with you, so thank you.

892
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:24,319
Speaker 2: Thank you.

893
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 1: So they can find me at Liz Hernandez it's all

894
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:34,359
Speaker 1: my handles are there, and then Wordiful is at WO

895
00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 1: R D A f U L and it's all the.

896
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,280
Speaker 2: Handles amazing, amazing.

897
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:42,280
Speaker 3: I'm over at Emily a Body and at Hurdle Podcast

898
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 3: Another Hurdle Conquered.

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00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:45,520
Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.