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Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's The Velvet's

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Speaker 1: Edge Podcast with Kelly Henderson. Okay, I'm here with case Kenny.

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Speaker 1: You're a writer, podcaster, DJ of Zin disco, honestly so

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Speaker 1: much more. When I've found you, I was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, there's another person like me who has eight

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Speaker 1: hundred jobs. Do you ever feel like you don't know

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Speaker 1: how to describe the people what you do for a living? Uh? Certainly.

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Speaker 1: I definitely don't know how to describe it to my parents.

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Speaker 1: And that's usually a good test, uh, to see if

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Speaker 1: you can do that. Uh yeah, I mean it's it

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Speaker 1: is a little difficult. I mean usually I just land

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Speaker 1: on I'm a podcaster and writer because that's the majority

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Speaker 1: of what I do, and everything else is kind of

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Speaker 1: an extension of it. Yeah. Well, I mean you even

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Speaker 1: have three books now, which obviously falls under the writing category,

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Speaker 1: and I want to get to all of those jobs.

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Speaker 1: But I personally found you on Instagram, Um, and you

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Speaker 1: do these quotes on these coffee cups, which of now,

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Speaker 1: now that I started following you, I don't know. If

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Speaker 1: it's like the algorithms they pop up everywhere maths speed

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Speaker 1: from other people reposting them. So do you ever think

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Speaker 1: that that would take off the way that it did? Not? Really? No,

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Speaker 1: And yeah, it's funny a lot of people like to

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Speaker 1: post them now, Um I just wanted to find a way,

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Speaker 1: Like inspirational quotes on the internet are a diamond doesn't

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Speaker 1: obviously it's like the cliche, right, And um I wanted

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Speaker 1: to find a way to bring my thoughts to life

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Speaker 1: in a way that was a little bit more relatable

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Speaker 1: and like realistic, like not just like a digital quote,

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Speaker 1: but something that like had place and energy in your life.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, what do I do every day

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Speaker 1: that other people also do? I was like, well, I

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Speaker 1: drink a lot of coffee. The other people drink coffee.

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Speaker 1: Why not just start writing them on uh coffee cups?

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I kind of just took off from there.

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Speaker 1: I didn't expect it to, but it did, and it's

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Speaker 1: pretty cool and now a lot of people do it,

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Speaker 1: so you know, kind of introduced the idea, I suppose.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure people did it before me, certainly, but

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Speaker 1: I kind of got lucky, definitely, and it kind of

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Speaker 1: took off. Well, you talk a lot about relateationships and

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Speaker 1: mostly the relationship with yourself, which I really appreciate because

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Speaker 1: I think we put so much focus on finding the

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Speaker 1: right person I know personally in my life. That's been

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Speaker 1: one of the biggest lessons to learn is it's not

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Speaker 1: all about the person, It's about your relationship with yourself.

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Speaker 1: So I kind of just have a ton of questions

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Speaker 1: for you. How did you get to that discovery first

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Speaker 1: of all, and then second of all, why do you

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Speaker 1: want to share that with everyone else publicly? Yeah? Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean the funny thing is I never set out

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Speaker 1: to do relationship content. Ever, I still think it's kind

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Speaker 1: of funny that I do it. Like I go on

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Speaker 1: I'll go on like TV or do an interview, and

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Speaker 1: I'll be introduced as a relationship expert, which is just

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Speaker 1: the funniest thing in the world to me. To be honest,

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Speaker 1: I'm a dude in his early thirties, uh, not married,

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Speaker 1: who you know most people will be like, well, marriage

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Speaker 1: is the the sign that you know, you found you,

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Speaker 1: you were successful or whatever. So it's it's just a

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Speaker 1: funny thing to me. Never set out to do it.

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Speaker 1: I set out to do what I think I do well,

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Speaker 1: which is the practice of mindfulness. How to simplify your emotions,

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Speaker 1: how to increase your self awareness in life. That's something

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Speaker 1: that I've practiced for a long time, and it's something

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Speaker 1: I have a lot of experience in writing and studying.

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Speaker 1: Um there uh, but you know, all roads lead to

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Speaker 1: other areas of life, and you gotta listen to people,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I do all this mindfulness content and people,

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Speaker 1: you know, we're always like, well, you know, case, you

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Speaker 1: talk so much about self awareness and confidence and self love, Like,

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Speaker 1: I would love your thoughts on how this applies to

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Speaker 1: relationships and ghosting and breakups and all these things. I

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Speaker 1: was like, all right, you asked for it, Like this

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Speaker 1: is my idea that you asked for it, And I

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Speaker 1: started doing it and that's when people were like, wow,

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Speaker 1: this is really helpful. And then I took a step

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Speaker 1: back and realized that, you know, there's really no outside

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Speaker 1: of certain industries, you know, finance or you know, engineering, Like,

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Speaker 1: what is the qualification to talk about something? Well, I

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Speaker 1: think it's I think it's the fact that in my

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Speaker 1: life I have been happily dating and happily single. I'm

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Speaker 1: thirty three now, um, for quite some time. And if

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Speaker 1: I can share my version of what makes me happy

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Speaker 1: in that sense, then I think it's worth sharing. And

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Speaker 1: I've really doubled down on that, and now I share

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Speaker 1: a lot of content around dating and being single and

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Speaker 1: relationships and everything in between. UM because people say it's

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Speaker 1: helpful perspective, um, and not just helpful perspective, it also

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Speaker 1: like relatable perspective. I think my biggest thing is I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be an expert, a coach at guru.

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Speaker 1: That's just not what I want to do. I just

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Speaker 1: want to be a regular guy sharing his perspective. And

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Speaker 1: I do that, and that angle seems to resonate well.

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Speaker 1: I think about the kind of content that I want

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Speaker 1: to listen to. I I appreciate regular, everyday people, so

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Speaker 1: I kind of try to embody that myself. Yeah, do

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Speaker 1: you find that for me? I know, this is a

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Speaker 1: huge thing that I love is connecting with people, and

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Speaker 1: so I just find that I'll start talking about something

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Speaker 1: and it's just my experience. Like you said, I'm not

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Speaker 1: an expert. I don't I didn't go to school to

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Speaker 1: study relationships or trauma or any of the stuff that

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Speaker 1: I enjoy talking about. But I've dealt with that in

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Speaker 1: my own life, and so I find that when I

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Speaker 1: put myself out there vulnerably and someone comes back to

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Speaker 1: me and they share their story and we're sharing experiences,

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Speaker 1: that is one of the most fulfilling and satisfying things

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Speaker 1: in life. Yeah, I feel the exact same way. It's

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Speaker 1: not only fulfilling, like this is my this is my purpose,

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Speaker 1: this is what I was put on earth to do.

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Speaker 1: But also it's like I always say, like, this is

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Speaker 1: my form of therapy. Like I think everyone should go

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Speaker 1: to therapy. I supported I don't, but that's because in

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Speaker 1: my life I have found what I do every single day,

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Speaker 1: the practice of this to be incredibly therapeutic first person view. Um,

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Speaker 1: So every time I sit down and I think critically

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Speaker 1: about these topics and I think about my own life

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Speaker 1: and I forced myself to be vulnerable and then I

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Speaker 1: have conversations with other people, it's just like so therapeutic

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Speaker 1: for me. It's like the whole process is just incredibly rewarding,

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Speaker 1: but also it serves like a larger purpose for myself.

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Speaker 1: Tell me more about what you mean about mindfulness. You

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Speaker 1: mentioned that as the thing you started. You're just a

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Speaker 1: mindful person and you just just talked about, Um, you

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Speaker 1: don't go to therapy. You do this whole process by yourself.

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Speaker 1: So is that what you consider mindfulness or what does

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Speaker 1: it mean for you? Yeah? Well, I mean I mindfulness

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Speaker 1: has always been this big word and now it's kind

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Speaker 1: of the Howard of of the of the decade. I

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Speaker 1: suppose mindfulness, meditation, things like that, self love, Like, what

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Speaker 1: does that really mean mindfulness for me? Um? You know,

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Speaker 1: all it is is self awareness. And I think I

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Speaker 1: look back at like my twenties and I had a

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Speaker 1: privileged twenties and great twenties, did a lot, had a

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Speaker 1: lot of fun. But I look back at it and

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Speaker 1: I was like, was I really mindful of why I

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Speaker 1: was doing what I was doing? Like? Was I self

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Speaker 1: aware of the decisions that I was making? Were they

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Speaker 1: my decisions? Where they my goals? Was I living intentionally? Well?

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Speaker 1: Probably not in retrospect, like working a job, Um, really

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Speaker 1: identified by the job and the relationships that I was in,

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Speaker 1: you know, all great things. But I look back at it,

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Speaker 1: I was like, was I engineering this or was I

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Speaker 1: borrowing someone else's idea of a life well lived? And

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Speaker 1: I look back and I'm like, well, you know, ultimately,

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Speaker 1: I think I lacked the self awareness to do a

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Speaker 1: practice like that. So the past, you know, call it

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Speaker 1: eight or so years, really died into the practice of mindfulness.

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Speaker 1: And mindfulness isn't this complicated thing. I used to think

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Speaker 1: it was like, Oh, you gotta you gotta go to

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Speaker 1: the Himalayas and and study and and do all this

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Speaker 1: kind of you gotta have your crystals and do all

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Speaker 1: this kind of stuff. But all it is self awareness.

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Speaker 1: All it is the practice of radical honesty and whatever

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Speaker 1: way you can derive it from, whether that's journaling or

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Speaker 1: meditating or simply just you know, being observant of your intentions. Um,

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Speaker 1: that's all it is for me. And I think that's

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Speaker 1: why it's such an applicable thing in dating. For instance,

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Speaker 1: I think the number one issue we get ourselves into

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Speaker 1: and dating is we don't know why we're doing what

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Speaker 1: we're doing, Like we don't have that self awareness. And

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Speaker 1: you think about how many other relationship problems are likely

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Speaker 1: derived from some degree of that. So I'm just really

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Speaker 1: passionate about the idea. And then obviously it like it

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Speaker 1: affects pretty much every area of life. I love that

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Speaker 1: thought process of operating in your life but not being

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Speaker 1: aware of what you're doing and why, Um, because I

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Speaker 1: think so many of us live that way, and especially

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Speaker 1: if you're busy right like, it's like he's year just

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Speaker 1: to go about the way we've always done things and

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Speaker 1: just the programming that's in all of us. Um. Something

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Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you a little bit about

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Speaker 1: because I don't know if this is like an Instagram

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Speaker 1: thing or something I'm noticing because of social media, but

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Speaker 1: I do feel like a lot more men are kind

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Speaker 1: of shifting out of this like programming of men not

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Speaker 1: having feelings, not being aware, you know, kind of walking

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Speaker 1: blindly through things like the macho guys going to hook

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Speaker 1: up with a bunch of girls and it's not really

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Speaker 1: going to ever settle down and all of that stuff.

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Speaker 1: And it's shifting to me into this more conscious man

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Speaker 1: or I'm seeing a lot more of that. Is that

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Speaker 1: something that you feel. Do you feel like that's an

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Speaker 1: intentional thing happening amongst men right now? Do you resonate

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Speaker 1: with that? Talk to me a little bit about that.

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Speaker 1: I resonate big time with that, and I think it's

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Speaker 1: absolutely a shift. I still think there's always going to

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Speaker 1: be hesitancy from men to outwardly share that on social media.

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Speaker 1: For instance, like my following women, that is what it is.

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Speaker 1: I have a lot of d ms from men, they

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Speaker 1: just don't share it publicly. So I think there is

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Speaker 1: a nuance there certainly. Um, but I think about my

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Speaker 1: own biab excuse me, like, yeah, I wouldn't be one

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Speaker 1: to share in I'm the creator of inspirational quotes, but

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Speaker 1: I rarely share other people's inspirational quotes. Are before I

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Speaker 1: was this creator a guy, I never shared it, but

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Speaker 1: I was very vulnerable in the same way. It just

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Speaker 1: wasn't a sharer in that sense. So there there might

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Speaker 1: be some nuance there with men sharing habits. But I

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Speaker 1: absolutely think broad scheme, you know, the they shift in

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Speaker 1: the evolution of men to be more sensitive and vulnerable.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I look at the guys that I surround

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Speaker 1: myself with and very evolved dudes, and I know there's

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Speaker 1: uninvolved men as well, and it's there's still very much

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Speaker 1: something to be said about that. But I think there

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Speaker 1: definitely is an evolution here where caring and being sensitive

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Speaker 1: is is like cool, Like I'll go to dinner with

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Speaker 1: my guys and like we're just a bunch of bros.

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Speaker 1: Like honestly, like we are. But like we'll go and

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Speaker 1: we'll be like, well, honestly, it's a conversation of like,

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Speaker 1: how does that make you feel? Man? It's like it's

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Speaker 1: super refreshing, um. And I know not everyone is like that,

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Speaker 1: and I've like, I have curated my circle very intentionally

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Speaker 1: in that sense, and I like to surround myself with

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Speaker 1: you know, high value type, mindset driven people. So I

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Speaker 1: know it's not everyone, but I think there's absolutely an

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Speaker 1: evolution here where not only I think social media has

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Speaker 1: made it cooler. Therapy is cool now. Therapy was not

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Speaker 1: cool twenty years ago, so I think it's I think

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Speaker 1: it's definitely trending. I was gonna say, why do you

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Speaker 1: think that's started or how? Because I love it personally,

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Speaker 1: and I think as women, we really gravitate towards that

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Speaker 1: obviously because it's okay. It's been okay for us to

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Speaker 1: share our feelings for a long time. So I think

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Speaker 1: the shifting for women is totally different with programming, like

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Speaker 1: letting go of some of the old mindsets that you

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Speaker 1: have to be married by a certain age, all the

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Speaker 1: pressures we feel in dating relationships. But I'm wondering how

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Speaker 1: men are getting to this feeling spot. Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's a great question. I haven't really thought

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Speaker 1: about that. I mean culture music. I mean, look at Drake,

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Speaker 1: my guy makes sad music. Like it's cool, it's cool

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Speaker 1: to share your feelings, it's cool to like to talk

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Speaker 1: about these things. And I think, you know, music is

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Speaker 1: culture is cool. I think social media has given a

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Speaker 1: voice to port more people. And the more you hear voices,

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Speaker 1: the more you're like sharing feelings isn't reserved for only

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Speaker 1: a select few. So I think it's just kind of

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Speaker 1: like a snowball effect where you have like culture kind

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Speaker 1: of grabbing onto things like that. I mean you look

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Speaker 1: at the the evolution and popularity of things like meditation

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Speaker 1: and yoga and things that are inherently spiritual, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think you've just got a general trend in the

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Speaker 1: right direction, in a more honest direction. So I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I can pinpoint one thing, but

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Speaker 1: I think it's a combination of those things. And and

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Speaker 1: I think, frankly, if you like, I think women's tolerance

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Speaker 1: for men who are emotional robots has reached its end

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Speaker 1: as well. So I think there's an evolution out of

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Speaker 1: necessity too, I had to think about it. So that's

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Speaker 1: a really good point. I like that one. Well you

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Speaker 1: mentioned talking about feelings, which is a bunch of your podcasts.

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Speaker 1: It's called new minset Who Did? And you just get

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Speaker 1: one and you talk about a different topic. I was

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Speaker 1: just listening today the one about bread Crumbs, which is

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Speaker 1: a great podcast and also a really great topic that

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of us can relate to at

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Speaker 1: least at one point in our lives. So talk to

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Speaker 1: me a little bit about the podcast, because you talk

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Speaker 1: very openly about it's not gurus. There's no like experts

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Speaker 1: that you bring on. You're literally just a dude talking

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Speaker 1: about different things that either you've been through or maybe

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Speaker 1: other people around your going through, a lot of it

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Speaker 1: being dating, personal insights and things like that. So let's

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Speaker 1: talk about the podcast. Um, what can people find on

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Speaker 1: this podcast? Yeah, well it's just that, I mean, it's

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Speaker 1: it's a lot of me, So prepare yourself. I don't

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Speaker 1: I don't do guests on it. Um, it's just myself

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Speaker 1: talking and I try to keep it under twenty minutes

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Speaker 1: or just around twenty minutes, and that seems to do

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Speaker 1: the trick because personally, I wouldn't necessarily want to listen

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Speaker 1: to more than that. UM. But yeah, I mean it's

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Speaker 1: just that, like I talk about mindsets, I talk a

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Speaker 1: lot about mindsets and dating and mindsets in in non

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Speaker 1: dating UM, and I try to keep it casual. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it is really funny and like I'll you know, I'll

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Speaker 1: sit down and I spend a lot of time on

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Speaker 1: the podcast, like I'll write a really throw outline. I'll

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Speaker 1: put together all my points. I'll write down example so

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Speaker 1: I know exactly the flow and how I want to

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Speaker 1: present an idea, to make it simple and clear, and

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Speaker 1: it's you know, it's always funny. I'll present on a

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Speaker 1: topic that I have experience with or a close friend

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Speaker 1: or something i've observed many many times. I'll give my thoughts,

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Speaker 1: and then I'll go and do an interview, for example,

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Speaker 1: with someone on their podcast, maybe like a an actual

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Speaker 1: psychologist or someone who's studied and they'll be like, case,

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Speaker 1: you know, you were talking about this, that and the other, UM,

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Speaker 1: and it was really great. What that's actually called? Is

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Speaker 1: this It's called an attachment style, It's called or whatever.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, oh, I was, like I knew there

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Speaker 1: was a name for it. I just I just don't know.

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Speaker 1: So it's you know, that's how I approached things like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I say, I'm not qualified for any of this. I

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Speaker 1: went to I went to school, and I studied Chinese. Truthfully,

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Speaker 1: UH study Chinese, and uh, you know, I have no

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Speaker 1: background and I need this saying. I kind of like

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Speaker 1: that because it's like a new lens to look at things,

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Speaker 1: like I'm not like biased by what's in a textbook,

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Speaker 1: even though it's probably correct. So I just talk about

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Speaker 1: things from that perspective and try to keep it relatable

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Speaker 1: and light, like I always I try to. I think

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Speaker 1: self development the industry can sometimes be very heavy. UM

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Speaker 1: deserve really so, because you turn to self development for

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Speaker 1: healing and trauma and things like that. But I also

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Speaker 1: think it could be light in a celebration of worth

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Speaker 1: rather than a bemoaning of you know, the lack of

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Speaker 1: other people seeing it. Like my whole thing with the

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Speaker 1: podcast is I want to encourage people to tell themselves

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Speaker 1: uplifting stories. I think the reality of life is we

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Speaker 1: have two options. If we're dating and we're frustrated, we

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Speaker 1: can tell ourselves a story that everyone sucks, that no

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Speaker 1: one's serious about dating blah blah blah. That's once story,

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Speaker 1: or you can tell yourself a story of that didn't work,

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Speaker 1: but I deserve more, and I'm going to keep that

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Speaker 1: sense of optimism alive. And I just want to encourage

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Speaker 1: people to tell themselves that story because I'm all in

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Speaker 1: on the power of the words we use and the

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Speaker 1: stories we tell and the sentences we we stitched together.

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Speaker 1: So every podcast kind of comes back to that idea of, like,

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Speaker 1: what's the story you tell yourself, whether it's around dating

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Speaker 1: or confidence or your career or whatever it may be.

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Speaker 1: That is so true. I have a friend who recently,

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Speaker 1: she's on all the dating apps and she got into

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Speaker 1: a really great relationship. And so all of our friends

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Speaker 1: who are single or like, how did you find this guy?

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Speaker 1: Because they're striking out on the dating apps and stuff.

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Speaker 1: And she's like, it's because I stopped saying to myself

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Speaker 1: there's no guys in Nashville, Like i stopped putting that

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Speaker 1: out into the universe, and I've really just started to believe,

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Speaker 1: you know, they're out there, like they're they're they're here,

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Speaker 1: and I just have to be open. And it's about

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Speaker 1: that energy that you bring to the universe. Versus the

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Speaker 1: shutdown terrible stories are saying in our head. I mean,

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Speaker 1: there you go. That's proof of that. It's so true.

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Speaker 1: You could call it manifesting if you want, whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: whatever label you want to put on it. Like my

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Speaker 1: whole take on manifesting, for instance, is something very related

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Speaker 1: to mindfulness. Is like, it's not the idea if you

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Speaker 1: sit down and you envision an available guy in Nashville,

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Speaker 1: or you sit down and you picture that and you

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Speaker 1: and you picture meeting him, It's not so much of that.

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Speaker 1: It's about telling yourself the story that makes that a possibility.

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Speaker 1: If in your head you're you're being there are no available,

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Speaker 1: honest men in Nashville, how do you then expect to

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Speaker 1: reconcile that story with reality. If you want reality to

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Speaker 1: be one thing, but you're telling yourself another thing, it's

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Speaker 1: very difficult for those to coincide. But if you tell

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Speaker 1: yourself one thing and it's the same reality you're describing

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Speaker 1: that you want to live, that's how you end up

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Speaker 1: living that reality. And that's manifesting. You tell yourself a

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Speaker 1: story about what you want and what you deserve, and

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Speaker 1: then while eventually with enough and stubbornness, like I'm convinced,

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Speaker 1: you know, you could always find that and make that

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Speaker 1: come true. So I love that's further proven. Well, I

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Speaker 1: do think too. It's like it's about the energy you

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Speaker 1: put out, and I think you draw in what you

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Speaker 1: put out all the time, which is another form of manifesting.

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Speaker 1: But if you're looking for the negative, you're gonna find it, right,

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Speaker 1: Like that's just always what the wiring is. And so

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm finally getting there at my late thirties. But

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Speaker 1: it's a tough one because I think we all have

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Speaker 1: these experiences that we go see there it is again

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Speaker 1: like I knew it. I knew that was going to happen.

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Speaker 1: And if you keep putting that out there, that is

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Speaker 1: what you keep attracting. Yeah, it's it's very difficult. I mean,

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Speaker 1: don't think of a yellow car. You think of a

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Speaker 1: yellow car, Like it's it's very differ It's very difficult.

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Speaker 1: These things are things that you have to practice and

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Speaker 1: be disciplined about. But you know, it's all a choice,

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Speaker 1: like of all the things in life you can't control,

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Speaker 1: of which there are many, and of which there are

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Speaker 1: many that are very unfair to people, and some people

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Speaker 1: bear the brunt of it? And are you know treated unfair?

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Speaker 1: And many many different ways. The one thing you can

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Speaker 1: control is your or the story you tell yourself of

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Speaker 1: what that means, It's the assumption you make. I think,

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Speaker 1: I just thinking about this earlier. I think like the

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Speaker 1: quality of your life literally outside of randomness and outside

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Speaker 1: of the you know, the mistreatment that someone might bestow

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Speaker 1: upon you. The quality of your life comes down to

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Speaker 1: the assumptions you make about yourself in the world around you,

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Speaker 1: like are you worthy? Are you not worthy? Are there

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Speaker 1: good men in Nashville? Are they're not good men Nashville?

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Speaker 1: Are you put? Are you capable of being successful in

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Speaker 1: your career? Or is everyone else capable and you're not? Like,

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Speaker 1: those assumptions are everything because those assumptions dictate what's possible,

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Speaker 1: It dictates the energy that you release, and most importantly,

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Speaker 1: it dictates your actions what you do with that. So

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Speaker 1: I'm all in on the stories, the assumptions, like the

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Speaker 1: words that we use. Well, since you mentioned mindfulness earlier

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Speaker 1: and stories, how do you keep yourself out of stories

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Speaker 1: like that? Do you have any practices that you do

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Speaker 1: on a daily or weekly that keep you in the

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Speaker 1: positive mindset? Well? I think the biggest one, and I

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Speaker 1: built a whole business around it, is journaling. I think

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Speaker 1: journaling is very powerful because it's one thing to have

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Speaker 1: a thought. I could be walking down the street and

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Speaker 1: have a very empowering thought, but one block later I'll

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Speaker 1: completely have forgotten it. There's something very real and visceral

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Speaker 1: of course about writing tackle right you look at it,

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Speaker 1: you could put it on a wall. It's visual. Um

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Speaker 1: So I think there's something to be said about that,

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Speaker 1: and I do that a lot. I journal. I've built

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Speaker 1: many journals and I sell journals and um I think

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Speaker 1: it's a very powerful experience. Whatever you need to bring

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Speaker 1: something to life in a way that's a little bit

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Speaker 1: more than just thinking about it and remembering it. Um

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Speaker 1: art is powerful as well, like talking about therapy. Like

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Speaker 1: every time I sit down and I write down one

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Speaker 1: of these quotes on a coffee cup and I do

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Speaker 1: it like that makes it real for me, and that

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Speaker 1: makes it a memory for me, and that makes it

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Speaker 1: a mission statement for me. It's like a tattoo. You know,

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Speaker 1: you don't you don't forget it, so, you know, I

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Speaker 1: try to balance myself with you know, hobbies and habits

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Speaker 1: like that. Let's talk about the journals a little bit.

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Speaker 1: You have Unbothered single is your sup for power, and

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Speaker 1: the other one is a new mindset who did just

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Speaker 1: like the podcast, Let's tell the people about these books. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean they're just journals, so Unbothered, a new mindset

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Speaker 1: or of general mindfulness, journal singles, superpowers, journaling specifically for relationships.

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Speaker 1: And I mean I created them because I a couple

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Speaker 1: of years back, I wanted to be a journal er.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be the guy who journaled. And I

427
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 1: went out and I bought two dozen journals, so that

428
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,800
Speaker 1: maybe a dozen journals, and they were all great, you know,

429
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 1: kudos to the people who created them, but they weren't

430
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 1: what I needed, namely, something that was a good mix

431
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,200
Speaker 1: of prompted and unprompted. I found that most of the

432
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,680
Speaker 1: journals were either way complicated, like write down your intentions

433
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,159
Speaker 1: in the morning, then come back in twelve and a

434
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 1: half hours and write down what you did and then

435
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 1: map this with that. I was like, yo, that's this

436
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,960
Speaker 1: is this is a bit much. And then the other

437
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 1: ones where blank page share your thoughts on life, and

438
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 1: I was like, I need something a little bit more

439
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:56,680
Speaker 1: in between guided unguided fun light. I used to think

440
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,679
Speaker 1: that journaling was this process where you sit down and

441
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 1: you it real sad, and then you write down what

442
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 1: makes you sad. And that's not journaling in the same

443
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:08,160
Speaker 1: way that mindfulness isn't sitting down and just replaying trauma.

444
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 1: It's a celebration of resolve. It's a celebration of the

445
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 1: uplifting story that you decide to make. So I wanted

446
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,679
Speaker 1: to create a journal around that. So I created prompts

447
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 1: that are more uplifting, that are more celebrations, that are

448
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 1: more um, you know, catalyst to give you clarity. Uh,

449
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 1: and that's it. There's sixty days. Um it takes like

450
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 1: ten minutes a day. So I just wanted to create

451
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 1: something that I would do. That's you know, it's all

452
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 1: about me. I'm a little selfish, right, Like I I

453
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:36,359
Speaker 1: wanted the journal, So I created a journal and then

454
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 1: I sell the journal. There you go. Well, I actually

455
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 1: got the Unbothered Journal and I did it today and

456
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,119
Speaker 1: it was so interesting for me. I've been in a

457
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,920
Speaker 1: season of just anxiety, you know, pandemic, business, lots of

458
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 1: different things happening in my life, and um, I won't

459
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 1: understand really what's happening, like I just will know, like

460
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 1: I can't focus, I can't work. I've been talking about

461
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 1: this a lot on my podcast, but just going through

462
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: the phases of what depression and anxiety can look like. Um,

463
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 1: but being so unaware of that. And so then I

464
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 1: started doing the journal and it does. It takes like

465
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 1: five to ten minutes. It's really fast. But I won't

466
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 1: even identify the stories that are happening in my head

467
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,919
Speaker 1: until I sit there and it's there's one that's like

468
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 1: it makes you circle how you're feeling, and I'm like,

469
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 1: oh shit, I am literally like all of the negative ones.

470
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,680
Speaker 1: But it also makes you connect to a positive thought process,

471
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,439
Speaker 1: which actually really helps me because it's it's rewiring of

472
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 1: my brain in that moment to be like, right, you

473
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 1: don't have to say stuck here. Also here it is,

474
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 1: this is why you can't focus on work, But let's

475
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 1: get it out of your system so then I can

476
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,880
Speaker 1: kind of get back on the cycle of my day.

477
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 1: I love that. That's a testimonial. Yeah, I mean, but

478
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 1: that's that's exactly it. Like journaling or any any mindfulness

479
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 1: is self awareness of the bad. Yeah, you can't solve

480
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,640
Speaker 1: the bad unless you're aware of it, you can't evolve

481
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 1: past it. But then from there, it's what you do

482
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 1: with it. It's the celebration of what that means. And

483
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,160
Speaker 1: that's exactly it. And I think without something that's tactle

484
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 1: like journaling, just you go round and round in circles

485
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 1: on the thing that you're obsessing with, which is likely

486
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: something negative. But so unless you, I want to say forest,

487
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,639
Speaker 1: but unless you incentivize yourself to come up with a

488
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:15,399
Speaker 1: redeeming positive, human nature isn't necessarily going to lead you

489
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 1: there naturally, So you gotta push yourself. And that's why

490
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 1: I did that. So I love that. Well, it's like

491
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,439
Speaker 1: an unconscious fear thing to write, like it's like something

492
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 1: that you're probably ruminating, one that could have happened in

493
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,119
Speaker 1: the past, but it's actually not usually what's happening to

494
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,880
Speaker 1: me in the moment. But I'll have that fear triggered,

495
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,160
Speaker 1: and so it's like I don't know, I can't focus,

496
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 1: I can't focus, and then I like write it down

497
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 1: and I'm like, wait, that's not reality, Like that is

498
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,160
Speaker 1: not happening right now, and so then you can kind

499
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,920
Speaker 1: of move forward. So thank you for that. Thank you

500
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Um, okay, the other one it's called single

501
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 1: is your superpower? Do you really believe that? And why

502
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:54,360
Speaker 1: tell us more? Well? I mean so again thirty three

503
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 1: now in my twenties, serial monogamous. That was in like

504
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 1: three serious relationships, so two years, two years, three and

505
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 1: a half, four years, and um was all about that.

506
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,919
Speaker 1: That was my life. I I, you know, had the

507
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 1: this idea that I needed to have a girlfriend, be married, whatever,

508
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 1: something to validate that I was worthy of that love

509
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,679
Speaker 1: in a sense. Uh, talk talking about earlier about kind

510
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: of living without a y and direction, um ages nine

511
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 1: to thirty three, single and so so so happy in

512
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 1: that sense. And you know, I didn't write the book

513
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,880
Speaker 1: to encourage people to become single. It's not that at all.

514
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:35,639
Speaker 1: It's that if you are single, there's something inherently uplifting

515
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 1: and so redeeming about it. Basically, That's why I wanted

516
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 1: to write off the stigma that being single is this

517
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: negative thing by basically doing this exercise that of all

518
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 1: the things that you might regret in life, if you

519
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: were to hop out of your shoes, fast forward twenty

520
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,679
Speaker 1: years from now and look back, what is something that

521
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 1: you would regret? I talked to my parents. My grandparents

522
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,880
Speaker 1: took the older generations. No one ever ever says they

523
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:02,199
Speaker 1: regret being single. Never. What you regret is you regret

524
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 1: staying in relationships that didn't serve you, staying in toxic relationships,

525
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,159
Speaker 1: things like that, putting up with things that were beneath you. Absolutely,

526
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: being single is not something you're ever going to regret.

527
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 1: It's difficult to understand that in the presence sometimes when

528
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: there's pressure and you're frustrated. But you know, the book

529
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 1: was designed to remind you of that fact and then

530
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: also to help equip you so that you could date

531
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,879
Speaker 1: more intentionally coming out of, you know, a phase of

532
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 1: being intentionally single. So the short, super short book kind

533
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 1: of exercises in chapters and perspective there, but basically everything

534
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,640
Speaker 1: I talked about in the podcast, and just like an

535
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 1: easy kind of journaling form. Yeah, and I think that

536
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 1: is such a good point about intentional dating. I don't

537
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: find that that has been a common It hasn't been

538
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,920
Speaker 1: a common theme in my life. I think growing up again,

539
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,639
Speaker 1: I think it was a lot of pressure as a

540
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 1: woman to feel like you had to do about certain age,

541
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 1: especially in the South. I mean, that's kind of a

542
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 1: thing out here. But um, but I do find a

543
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 1: shift happening. And I love the words intentional dating because

544
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,120
Speaker 1: it also brings it back to what do I actually

545
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 1: want out of a relationship? And am I in the place,

546
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 1: like in a relationship with myself where I can show

547
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 1: up fully in a relationship or contribute to the relationship,

548
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 1: not be needing something from the other person that I'm

549
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 1: not already giving to myself. Yeah, I mean, so that's

550
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 1: the whole the whole idea of the book, Like the

551
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,719
Speaker 1: entire first couple of chapters are focused on why. Like

552
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 1: if you can't answer the question of why am I dating,

553
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: then you're operating in the gray and that's never a

554
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 1: good place to date. And I think there are good

555
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 1: answers and bad answers to the question of why are

556
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 1: you dating? An answer like well, I don't want to

557
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 1: be alone, or an answer of well that's just what

558
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 1: you're supposed to do, or I want to have a family,

559
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 1: I don't. I think those are good, fine answers, of course,

560
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,400
Speaker 1: but I don't think those are as good of an

561
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,439
Speaker 1: answer that is intrinsically more selfish. I think we need

562
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 1: a more selfish why to date. Uh, you know, the

563
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,640
Speaker 1: cliche example would be I want to date. I want

564
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 1: to find someone who makes me a better person. I

565
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 1: want to find someone who inspires me. I want to

566
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 1: find someone who checks my ego. I want to find

567
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 1: someone who insert more self focused effort there versus I

568
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 1: just don't want to be alone. It's a very negative

569
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 1: place to be operating from, or something even as simple

570
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: as you know that's what you're supposed to do, where

571
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,919
Speaker 1: I want to have a family, Like, I think we

572
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 1: need a little bit more consciousness and intention when it

573
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: comes to why we're dating. And I think a lot

574
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 1: of that comes from the time that we spend alone,

575
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: the time where we realize, you know, what we actually

576
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,679
Speaker 1: need and kind of how that might interplay with with

577
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 1: the relationship. So that's I very much. I believe in

578
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,879
Speaker 1: the in the power of taking time to realize that

579
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 1: versus dating reactively to just like very like biological you

580
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 1: know ingrained human societal things like pressure or age or

581
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 1: you know, an aversion to being alone. Like I get

582
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 1: those things, but I think there's there's power and being

583
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 1: very intentional literally writing it down the book. I haven't

584
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 1: exercise why are you dating? Like? Write it down and

585
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,360
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people would struggle with that,

586
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 1: but you take time to do it. It's it's very empowering. Well,

587
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 1: the question why are you, um, why are you dating?

588
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,199
Speaker 1: But then also like why don't you want to be alone?

589
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 1: Don't you feel like so many people listening when I

590
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: don't know if this is like something common with your listeners,

591
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 1: but do you get a lot of messages about people

592
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 1: saying like how do I counteract this loneliness? Or how

593
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: do I, um, yeah, resolve myself to be alone all

594
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 1: the time? Like what does that look like in a

595
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 1: day to day life? Yeah, I mean it's so tough

596
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,640
Speaker 1: because you know, what I've realized about myself is my

597
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: quote attachment style is that of dismissive and avoidant. Like

598
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 1: I love being alone. I love it. I am so

599
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 1: self sufficient, I'm so passionate I have I'm so hobby

600
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 1: driven and like, yeah, it's just my thing and I

601
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: get that. Not everyone's like that. So sometimes it's tough

602
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: for me to give advice from that place because I'm

603
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: just like, we'll just do it, you know. And that's

604
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: why it's like it's free and awesome, So it's not

605
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: that easy, like and I get that, but I think

606
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: what you just described is the exercise. It's like, we

607
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 1: are human creatures that are wired to be adverse to

608
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 1: certain things, namely be alone. But I think if we

609
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 1: drill down into why and we spend that exercise like

610
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: you just said, of like why don't I want to

611
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 1: be alone? I think we could really get to the

612
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: core of it. And there's different types of loneliness, of course,

613
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 1: Like there's loneliness without a partner, of this loneliness without friends.

614
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 1: There's loneliness when you do have a partner, like the

615
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 1: worst kind of loneliness. Right, So I think there's a

616
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 1: lot to be said about sitting down and defining that

617
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: for yourself, because it's one thing not to have a

618
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 1: partner and to feel like you're missing out. But if

619
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 1: we don't check ourselves, all of a sudden, all those

620
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 1: emotions become the same one fomo, fear of missing out

621
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,959
Speaker 1: and loneliness become one glow. But they're really not if

622
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 1: you think about it, being afraid that you're missing out

623
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 1: on something is not the same as being like a

624
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 1: lonely person. And sometimes we assume that they're the same,

625
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 1: and then we go into this headspace. So I'm a

626
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 1: lonely person. And the more you tell yourself that story,

627
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 1: the more it becomes real. So it's all like it's

628
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: all inter related. In my mind. It comes down to

629
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 1: sitting down and defining those things for yourself in some way. Yeah,

630
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: I do feel like to our society is so overstimulated

631
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 1: that we're the quiet of being alone sometimes not for

632
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: a person like you, but like I'm an anxious attachment,

633
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: so like for a person like me, it's like it

634
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 1: takes me a second to adjust, you know, and that

635
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 1: it's bad because it can manifest itself in a relationship

636
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 1: as codependency if I'm not you know, being mindful myself.

637
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 1: But in single life it can feel very overwhelming at first,

638
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 1: like I have to adjust into all the time by myself,

639
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 1: the quiet, the not just like filling my time with

640
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 1: stupid stuff like social media or like overstimulation of any kind. Really,

641
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: and so I do. I do feel like it's kind

642
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 1: of like a wiring that's happening in our culture right now,

643
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 1: like we don't know how to sit still. I mean,

644
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 1: that's very accurate commentary, I suppose on being a millennial

645
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 1: or being alive in thtie it's like, yeah, we are.

646
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 1: No one can sit still. I struggle with sitting still.

647
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 1: I have to be listening to music or doing something.

648
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 1: I can't just sit and be or walk you know.

649
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 1: So yeah, but I think that's part of self awareness too.

650
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 1: It's like why why do I have Why do I

651
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 1: have this habit? Like is this my habit? Or did

652
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 1: I borrow this from someone else? Did I borrow this

653
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: from culture? It's like it takes a strong person to

654
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: check themselves a lot, and uh, it's not easy. Like

655
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 1: I had many bad habits, but I think, you know,

656
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 1: realizing them is step one certainly. And I also I

657
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 1: feel like when I was just listening to you talk,

658
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 1: I was like, it's also about like sitting with an

659
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 1: uncomfortable feeling. We're so programmed to be like uncomfortable, get

660
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 1: me out, get me out, And it's like, no, it's okay,

661
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 1: Like not all feelings are positive all the time, and

662
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 1: that's part of your journey of self discovery and my experience,

663
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 1: I mean, it's what we're talking about earlier. If you

664
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: can't look that thing in the face that you need

665
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: to evolve past, how do you expect to have all

666
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: pasted it? Impossible, So I gotta do it well. As

667
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 1: I said earlier listening to the bread Crown podcast, and

668
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: you said something you said, don't be perfect the whole,

669
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: and so I really like that one hit me. How

670
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 1: do we become whole? Yeah, well, I certainly think that's

671
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 1: a lifelong endeavor. Um. But like I think a lot

672
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: about what my goal is in life. I think a

673
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: lot of people's goals without realizing it is to be

674
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: perfect in some sense. It's to be successful, that's a

675
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,959
Speaker 1: that's a derivative of being perfect. It's to be loved

676
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 1: and to love someone else, to be financially independent, it's

677
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 1: to be confident. It's all these different things, and I think,

678
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: of course those are good goals, but I think we

679
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 1: need to we need to flip it a little bit,

680
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 1: to be a little bit more conscious of the inner work,

681
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 1: as cliche as that is. And like my whole thing

682
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: is being a whole is synonymous with the idea of

683
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 1: being proud of yourself. Um. I talk a lot about this.

684
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 1: Everyone asked me, like, what's your goal in life case,

685
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: what are you trying to do my And my answer

686
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: is always the same, I just want to be proud

687
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: of myself, because I think all the good things that

688
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 1: you actually want, success, money, relationships, will come from accomplishing

689
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 1: that goal. If you're proud of yourself, that means you

690
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 1: speak vulnerably, it means you're honest, you're open, you're intentional,

691
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 1: you're driven, you're hungry, you're stubborn, all these things that

692
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 1: I think are good. The good things will follow from that,

693
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 1: and I think a sense of wholeness will come from that.

694
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 1: Wholeness is derived from self awareness. It has to be.

695
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 1: Wholeness is derived from trial and air also has to be.

696
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 1: It's derived from observation and perspective and experience, all these

697
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: different things. And I think those are derived just from

698
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 1: an eagerness to be proud of yourself, rather than in

699
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 1: eagerness to accomplish all those little things success, money, you know, confidence,

700
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 1: whatever it may be. So I just like, I just

701
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: try to simplify things, and to me, in my world,

702
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 1: that's a simpler way to look at things. It's like,

703
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 1: my goal is to be whole. My goal is to

704
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 1: be proud of myself rather than the other ones. Because

705
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 1: having a goal of like I want to be happy,

706
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 1: for instance, it's a good goal, but it's it's it's

707
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 1: a slippery slope unless you're a very self aware of

708
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: person because the moment are the multiple moments where you're

709
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 1: not happy. You start, if you're not carefully, you'll tell

710
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 1: yourself a story that describes that lack of happiness, and

711
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 1: then that becomes your story, that becomes your narrative. So

712
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: my whole thing is, you know, don't set a goal

713
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 1: of I want to be happy, set a goal of

714
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 1: I want to be proud of myself, and how that

715
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 1: be your guiding light? Um. I did an episode the

716
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: other day on this idea of also on the idea of,

717
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: you know, don't set a goal of like I want

718
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 1: to be happy, set a goal I want to be

719
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: the kind of person who and then you fill fill

720
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,920
Speaker 1: it with verbs. Right, happiness is an adjective. How do

721
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,239
Speaker 1: you how do you quantify an adjective? It's very tough.

722
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 1: Verbs though or verbs. You either did it or you

723
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 1: didn't do it. So like like for for myself, like

724
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 1: I say, I don't ever say I want to be successful.

725
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 1: I just want to. I say, I'm the kind of

726
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:59,759
Speaker 1: guy who never you know, I'm the kind of guy

727
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 1: who creates content twice a week. I'm the kind of

728
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 1: guy who asked a question. When he has a question,

729
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 1: I'm the kind of guy who shoots his shot. Those

730
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 1: are verbs. And if I'm ever in life not feeling successful,

731
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 1: I have no further to look than that list of verbs.

732
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 1: I could be like, man, you know what I'm not

733
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,720
Speaker 1: feeling successful is because I'm not doing those things problems solved,

734
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 1: rather than going to a place of I'm not successful

735
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 1: and that's because I suck and I'm worthless. And that

736
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 1: sounds extreme, but that's what we do. That's the story

737
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: we create. I always joke that I like verbs a

738
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 1: lot because I think they're powerful. I'm a verb guy,

739
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: not an adjective guy. Um, and I think a lot

740
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 1: of good things come from that kind of reframing. Do

741
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 1: you feel like you're living your purpose? Yes? How did

742
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 1: you get there? Trial and error thirty years? I don't know.

743
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 1: I mean I think that. I think sometimes the challenge

744
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 1: with purpose is like we you know, we we think

745
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 1: about purpose. We think about skills. Okay, you know you

746
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,440
Speaker 1: gotta be good at something to live a life purpose

747
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 1: around it in some way too. You know, it's a

748
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 1: fair statement. A lot of times I think we think

749
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:08,760
Speaker 1: about skills is very tangible overt in your face things.

750
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: Great athlete, great with numbers, great speaker, great community and funny,

751
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 1: great salesman, whatever. I think the reality of life is

752
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: that not everyone has overt skills like not everyone has

753
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,760
Speaker 1: those in your face one percent type behaviors or habits,

754
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 1: and that's totally fine. I don't think I was given

755
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 1: many skills like that at all. But what I've discovered

756
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 1: over the years is that my skill is simplifying emotions

757
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 1: for myself. For myself, and what I've realized through creativity,

758
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 1: because I've always loved to read and write, is that

759
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 1: I can take that skill that I've practiced in my

760
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:45,359
Speaker 1: life and share with other people. And that has made

761
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 1: it abundantly clear that it helps other people. It's from

762
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,479
Speaker 1: a skill that I practice and it helps other people.

763
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 1: So it has to be my purpose and it is

764
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,319
Speaker 1: and I love doing it. So like that's been my

765
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 1: process and I think it could take a long time

766
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 1: to figure out what that is. But I think we

767
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 1: need to be open to the fact that it might

768
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:05,760
Speaker 1: not be something headline worthy. It might not be something

769
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: measurable by a checklist or some some kind of verbage.

770
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 1: It might be something a little bit more nuance their

771
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 1: soulful and I think that will really set people free.

772
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: But also it's the lack of pressure. I used to

773
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 1: I put so much pressure on myself in my twenties

774
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: to you know, make this amount of money, do this,

775
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: and do that. And I think taking a step back

776
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:28,280
Speaker 1: and just taking a deep breath and you know, being

777
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,799
Speaker 1: eager and curious, but not having that like chip on

778
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 1: my shoulder or that pressure on my shoulder. It did

779
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: a lot for me for me personally. Well, you mentioned

780
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 1: writing a couple of times, and we've talked about the

781
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 1: books that you've got, your start with pursuit the website right,

782
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,720
Speaker 1: talk to me about that because one thing I loved

783
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 1: is that you had this whole setup. It was a

784
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 1: blog set up from what I can understand, and he

785
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 1: totally shifted to like an email blast that goes out

786
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:01,359
Speaker 1: with similar content. But that was just like what works better.

787
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 1: And so I love the mentality. I've talked here a

788
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 1: lot about something isn't always failing if it's going to

789
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:09,400
Speaker 1: take you to the next thing, and like we have

790
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: to be adaptable, we have to learn how to shift,

791
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 1: and that's the whole experience. It doesn't mean it was

792
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,320
Speaker 1: a failure. It just means like, o't no, we're just

793
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: going in this new direction. So you talk through that

794
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,839
Speaker 1: story and how you got to where you got with that. Yeah,

795
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:24,320
Speaker 1: I mean that's that's the conclusion about life in business.

796
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 1: You have to be willing to pivot, you know, failing

797
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 1: you're pivoting, that's what you're doing. Yeah. Yeah. So I

798
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 1: started something called Pursuit, and I just wanted to write online.

799
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:34,800
Speaker 1: That's all I wanted to do. And I was like,

800
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 1: I want to write online. So I started Pursuit, which

801
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 1: was a men's lifestyle blog writing about whatever here and there. Um,

802
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:44,279
Speaker 1: you know. Two years into that, I was like, yeah,

803
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: this isn't really growing. What do I do? I was like, well,

804
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 1: email is hot, Like I simplifying the way that people

805
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 1: consume information, throw it in their inbox, started sending it

806
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,720
Speaker 1: as a daily email. That pursued daily email, then started

807
00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:00,320
Speaker 1: getting a little bit more intentional about the topics, started

808
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,399
Speaker 1: writing a little bit about self development, keeping his light.

809
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 1: UM had a bunch of contributors on board writing um

810
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 1: for the email. That grew um pretty quickly, at like

811
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,880
Speaker 1: two subscribers at some point, but it was it was

812
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: a very difficult business to to to grow um. Email

813
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: based like media companies that are really tough. UM. So

814
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 1: eventually I was like, this isn't the direction that I

815
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,799
Speaker 1: want to go um and very much summarizing here. I

816
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 1: started the podcast instead, and then I started simply telling

817
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 1: those email subscribers about the podcast. And that's where things

818
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 1: really really really blew up. UM. I think it was

819
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,320
Speaker 1: probably because it was more personal. Like the email was

820
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 1: an email, anyone can stand behind words in an email,

821
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 1: but the podcast brought personality social media those all came

822
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 1: about so UM. Yeah. I mean like four years ago,

823
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 1: shut down pursuit and just started focusing everything on the podcast,

824
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 1: UM quotes on m journaling and everything like that. So

825
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 1: it's been a bit of an experience and learning but

826
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 1: I learned so much through that, learned a lot, um,

827
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 1: and it was you know, it taught me a lot

828
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 1: about writing, tell me a lot about UM. You know,

829
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 1: what are people receptive to when it comes to this

830
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: type of content. It's tough. It's very tough to do

831
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: these things. So I needed I needed eight years of experience.

832
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 1: I needed it, and I wish I didn't. I wish

833
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 1: I could. Wouldn't it be nice? Of course. I mean

834
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:24,240
Speaker 1: it's funny because I'm looking at right over my shoulder

835
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 1: is a painting that during that process as well, it's like, well,

836
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 1: maybe I'll turn some quotes into artwork. And I started

837
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 1: this whole thing. I sold two one of which is

838
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: right there. Um, it didn't work at all. So I mean,

839
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: like life is all about pivoting, and business is all

840
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 1: about pivoting. So I learned a lot over that. I

841
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 1: love hearing those stories because I feel like when I

842
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:45,879
Speaker 1: have guests, when we're talking about the thing that made

843
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,359
Speaker 1: them successful, you know, and so it's just like, yeah,

844
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 1: well we have to talk about the journey, because that's

845
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 1: so unfair to anyone listening to just assume that you

846
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 1: walked into this and you just started blowing up on

847
00:40:56,120 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 1: the podcast, blowing up on Instagram, things like happened so quickly.

848
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 1: Like it just doesn't work like that, or it never

849
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,800
Speaker 1: has in my experience, And so I love these stories

850
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,879
Speaker 1: of hearing like the journey, like you learn this there,

851
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 1: so then you shifted and you learn that there and

852
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: then shift it again, and that's how it happens. I mean,

853
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 1: it's the cliche quote, but it's like it takes twenty

854
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 1: years to become an overnight success. It's it's like nobody

855
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: hears about that other nineteen years that they don't like

856
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,359
Speaker 1: anyone who finds me now they're like, oh, wow, you've

857
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 1: got three followers, you've got a podcast, you all, you've

858
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 1: got a blue check mark. Wow, Like, well talk to

859
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 1: me eight years ago where and you talk to me

860
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 1: two years ago where you know, It's just like you know,

861
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 1: it just takes it takes a long time to figure

862
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 1: these things out. And I wouldn't success say I'm successful

863
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 1: in in like a strict sense. In that way, I'm

864
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 1: very proud of myself. I think I have a lot

865
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 1: to do when it comes to like quantifiable things. But yeah,

866
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 1: it's it's perspectives a funny thing, especially online. So it's

867
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:54,920
Speaker 1: always good to hear and share these types of stories. Certainly. Yeah,

868
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,720
Speaker 1: I agree. All right, Well we talked about the podcast,

869
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 1: the writing. You also are the DJ of in discuss

870
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 1: I have to tell people about this too. What is

871
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 1: that then? Disco? Yeah? So I mean, obviously I'm passionate

872
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,320
Speaker 1: about mindfulness. I think that's been rather clear. But I

873
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 1: also love electronic music, house music, idium whatever you wanna

874
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 1: call it. Any any genre. I always have been. I've

875
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,359
Speaker 1: always been that kind of tool and you know, up

876
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 1: at the festival taking a shirt off, just dancing like

877
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 1: an idiot. I just love the music. I've always been

878
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 1: attracted to that kind of music. And uh, I'm all

879
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 1: about like trying to combine my passions in life. I've

880
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,400
Speaker 1: always been that guy that if I'm interested in something,

881
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 1: I have to try it myself. Like I can never

882
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I like Scooba diving is cool, and

883
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 1: it was like, no, I've got to go scuba diving.

884
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 1: Like I've never am incapable of appreciating something without trying it.

885
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:44,839
Speaker 1: And for a long time I wanted to figure out

886
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 1: a way to combine my passion for dance music with mindfulness.

887
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:53,320
Speaker 1: And I've always dabbled in music like producing and deejaying

888
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 1: just because I love it. Um but a couple I

889
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 1: don't know. I guess that. Two years ago I just

890
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 1: started of doing these things called music and Mindfulness mixes,

891
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 1: where I collaborated with other DJs and basically like a

892
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:07,439
Speaker 1: DJ set, like you have a DJ set where DJ

893
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 1: plays music and occasionally the DJ will come in and

894
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 1: out being like, oh, this is my next track. Blah

895
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 1: blah blah, or be sure to catch me in Chicago.

896
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 1: I'll be there in a couple of weeks on tour

897
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: or whatever. I was like, what if I replaced that

898
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 1: kind of banter with uplifting messages in between the songs,

899
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 1: and then you do really clever transitions where you know,

900
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 1: you bring in a thought and then the next beat

901
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 1: lands and it feels really good and progressive. So that's

902
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 1: all I do. Zen Diisco is a radio show where

903
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 1: I combine dance music and mindfulness. And uh it's like

904
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 1: I call it like a dance music guided meditation and

905
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 1: that you know, most meditations are you sit and you

906
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 1: clear your head and you calm. This is like no

907
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,839
Speaker 1: get amped up, walk around work out, but you get

908
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: the added benefit of great music and uplifting thoughts and ideas.

909
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: Um So, it's just it's kind of just like a

910
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,400
Speaker 1: fun project of mine. But the response has always been

911
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 1: great because it is pretty unique. No one really considers

912
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 1: house music and mindfulness in the same sentence. Um traditionally.

913
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:07,800
Speaker 1: Um So, I just love doing it. I love it,

914
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:09,960
Speaker 1: and I've done a bunch of collaps with like big artists,

915
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 1: and um you know, everyone likes to get on board.

916
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 1: So it's just it's just fun. It's just what I

917
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: do for fun. I think that's awesome because I think

918
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,359
Speaker 1: so many people are really intimidated by meditating too. So

919
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 1: if you can maybe like this would be a good

920
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:23,400
Speaker 1: way to start kind of ease in. And if you

921
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: know anything about energies, like your feminine energy within, he

922
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:28,799
Speaker 1: needs to move, you know, it needs to kind of

923
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 1: filter things out. And so I love that idea. I'm

924
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 1: gonna have to try it. Yeah, check it out. Yeah, yeah,

925
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,320
Speaker 1: I love it. I mean I've got some big ideas

926
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 1: for the coming year of doing some like live events

927
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 1: and things like that. But you know, there's something to

928
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:43,400
Speaker 1: be said about music. I mean, you you want to

929
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: think about things that can instantly change your mood. Mood. Yeah,

930
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:52,280
Speaker 1: it's very effective. Yeah alright, well, I think we've covered

931
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 1: most of your things. I love your story because I

932
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 1: feel like it's like case in point of you can't

933
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,319
Speaker 1: be boxed in, Like we can't box ourselves and as people,

934
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 1: we can't put this one definition on who we are.

935
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 1: We have all these different interests and things that really

936
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:07,399
Speaker 1: appeal to us, and we can also just keep doing

937
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 1: our journey with other people. Like figuring it out as

938
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 1: we go, and I just love that about your story,

939
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 1: to tell people where they can find you. Yeah, well,

940
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,280
Speaker 1: thank you appreciate that. I look, we had a great chat.

941
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 1: I get so amped up talking about these topics. But

942
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 1: it just Case dot Kenny on Instagram. And the podcast

943
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 1: is called New Mindset Who Discs And then everything we've

944
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 1: been talking about journals wise is that New Mindset who

945
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:30,239
Speaker 1: just dot com New Mindset Who dis y'all it's d

946
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 1: I s. If you are just making sure you'll hear

947
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 1: us right, I'll put it all in the description of

948
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 1: this podcast too, so you'all can find the easy links. O. Case,

949
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 1: thank you so much. It was so nice to meet you.

950
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 1: Do you too, Thanks so much. This is great. I

951
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 1: really enjoyed it. Thank you guys so much for listening.

952
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:49,320
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson,

953
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 1: where we believe everyone has a little velvet and a

954
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 1: little edge. Subscribe for more conversations on life, style, beauty

955
00:45:56,239 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 1: and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge wherever you get your podcasts.

956
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 1: Mix four