Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hi? Is this Lars?
Speaker 2: It sure is?
Speaker 1: How is life Lars? Uh?
Speaker 2: Life is okay?
Speaker 1: Is?
Speaker 2: How is yours?
Speaker 3: Man?
Speaker 1: Why? Why is life okay? Ish?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 3: This year I was.
Speaker 2: Uh, I just graduated from college and I got hired
Speaker 2: at like my dream job, and I for an art teacher,
Speaker 2: and I am non binary, and that was something kind
Speaker 2: of private in my own life, and I dressed more masculinely,
Speaker 2: I guess, And so the school district hired me obviously,
Speaker 2: and it was going really really well, and I taught
Speaker 2: for about three days, and the parents very wealthy.
Speaker 3: It was a very wealthy school district.
Speaker 2: They basically took one look at me and decided that
Speaker 2: they weren't or I wasn't the look that they wanted
Speaker 2: in their school district, and they found a way to
Speaker 2: get me put on administrative leave. And I was just
Speaker 2: kind of disgraced from the area and discriminated against.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to hear that. How long were you teaching
Speaker 1: there before that happens?
Speaker 2: I worked there for several months, but the kids came
Speaker 2: back on a Wednesday, and by the next Monday, I
Speaker 2: was already put on leave.
Speaker 1: What did they tell you was the reason as to
Speaker 1: why they were putting you on leaves.
Speaker 2: They actually had found my instagram, which was not connected
Speaker 2: to my career as an educator like at all, and
Speaker 2: it was my art instagram that I had when I
Speaker 2: was in art school to become an art teacher, and
Speaker 2: they basically went online found me somehow, and then like
Speaker 2: there was it was a picture like three years ago,
Speaker 2: fourth photo into a post of a charcoal nude that
Speaker 2: I did, as you do in art school. Yes, and
Speaker 2: this new drawing that I just happened to do, it
Speaker 2: just happens to be a transgender woman. And so I
Speaker 2: drew returned to true deform. She had a you know,
Speaker 2: her genitals and like a premature like breasts. And they
Speaker 2: saw this photo and they started this rumor that I
Speaker 2: was drying minors. And so I went into HR Monday
Speaker 2: morning because they had called me in and they said
Speaker 2: that you know, the parents had called nine one one
Speaker 2: saying that they're if their students were placed in my classroom,
Speaker 2: then you know, they'd be in danger. And I was
Speaker 2: put on leave right then and there like no questions
Speaker 2: asked because I was a distraction.
Speaker 1: Now are you pursuing a lawsuit against the school.
Speaker 2: I'm really really scared too. They said that I have
Speaker 2: grounds of defamation and all these things. But like, you know,
Speaker 2: I've I met with a lawyer once and he basically
Speaker 2: told me, he was like, do you want to be
Speaker 2: a poster child? And I was like, I don't know
Speaker 2: if I can handle that. You know, all I wanted
Speaker 2: to do is teach.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you did have a consultation with a lawyer,
Speaker 1: I did, okay. And when they said to you, are
Speaker 1: you sure you want to be a poster child? What
Speaker 1: do you feel?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: That meant, are you afraid of this becoming some form
Speaker 1: of local or even national news? Are you like, what
Speaker 1: in what you know of of the process of pursuing
Speaker 1: this legally would be the things that you are afraid of.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's definitely it. It's well as of right now,
Speaker 2: the district has done a okay job of keeping my
Speaker 2: legal name out of it, the name I was going
Speaker 2: as a teacher, you know. And but I mean there's
Speaker 2: still articles about this online and all these horrible things,
Speaker 2: and I just know if my name was out there,
Speaker 2: then like that would be it. And I don't even
Speaker 2: know if I could teach after that, because who wants
Speaker 2: to hire a teacher who's had their name dragged through
Speaker 2: the mud.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, sure, you said so. You said that there
Speaker 1: are already articles out.
Speaker 2: About this, there is? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: How? Really? No?
Speaker 1: Go ahead?
Speaker 2: Well, I was gonna say, from like really like right
Speaker 2: leaning articles that obviously are not favoring LGBTQ lives in
Speaker 2: any sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I was gonna ask you, is in
Speaker 1: in what already exists? How do these articles paint you.
Speaker 2: Like a groomer, like a a person that shouldn't be
Speaker 2: around children.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm hmm mmmmm. Yeah, I can tell, I can,
Speaker 1: I can. I can totally understand why you would not
Speaker 1: want to pursue this. I mean, you're not here to
Speaker 1: get into litigations with people or getting money out of people.
Speaker 1: You're here to teach.
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly.
Speaker 1: And these articles they don't they don't mention your real name.
Speaker 2: Right right exactly or else they know that they'd be
Speaker 2: going against my leave or resignation or whatever is actually
Speaker 2: in the books. Like they know that if they say
Speaker 2: my name, my real name, then I mean, it'd be.
Speaker 3: A whole thing.
Speaker 1: What are your friends and family telling you to do
Speaker 1: about this situation?
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, it's it's so mixed. You know, if I
Speaker 2: if I tell someone out my situation, then they get
Speaker 2: really heated and excited say we need to see it
Speaker 2: and take down, like awfully can a tree like this?
Speaker 2: And then there are people who have been, have been,
Speaker 2: you know, sitting back on it with me saying like, dude,
Speaker 2: like leave, move away, try something else, or you try
Speaker 2: teaching somewhere else, like obviously, you know, not everywhere's going
Speaker 2: to shoot you like this. You know, I'm in a
Speaker 2: red state, very red state, and you know, maybe if
Speaker 2: I just go somewhere else and not get my name
Speaker 2: out there, then I have a chance. But at this point,
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm scared to do anything, like I just
Speaker 2: don't even want to. I do want to teach still
Speaker 2: in my heart, but I'm so anxious and nervous now
Speaker 2: about everything m.
Speaker 1: In What you've kind of been weighing around in your
Speaker 1: mind between what you believe personally and what people you
Speaker 1: trust are telling you to do. What are what are
Speaker 1: some of the options that you've been considering as to
Speaker 1: how you want to move forward.
Speaker 2: I think the easy, the physically easiest thing it could
Speaker 2: do is move on and move away and try to
Speaker 2: teach in a place that's more welcoming of quote unquote
Speaker 2: people like me. But the thing that would maybe help
Speaker 2: me like spiritually, where it would be to get some
Speaker 2: kind of justice out of this, even if it's like,
Speaker 2: you know, the defamation case against the parents that made
Speaker 2: up the horrible rumors, or the grandiose option of going
Speaker 2: for the whole school district, which is sure probably the
Speaker 2: scariest part.
Speaker 1: Sure, sure, m. What can I ask?
Speaker 4: What is in.
Speaker 1: Looking at the option of trying to get some kind
Speaker 1: of justice? What is compelling you towards that option?
Speaker 2: Just the fact that it still keeps me up at night.
Speaker 2: It's been months, and you know, I am in real
Speaker 2: therapy as well, and you know I've tried all these things,
Speaker 2: but I still talk and turn about it. And it's
Speaker 2: not fair that people can just rip the rug out
Speaker 2: from underneath you. And again like this was my first
Speaker 2: job right out of school, Like I'm young, and I
Speaker 2: this is my dream. So it's just it's just frustrating.
Speaker 1: Could I ask if you're if you're cool for telling me,
Speaker 1: what kinds of things has your reveal therapist told you
Speaker 1: about this situation? And have they been helpful for you?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: They've been really helpful, just trying to get me through
Speaker 2: day by day. At this point, when this first started happening,
Speaker 2: you know, she was obviously very concerned and saying like, well,
Speaker 2: you know, if you go to the court, they might
Speaker 2: like bring me in because you know, the big thing
Speaker 2: with the right is that they think that people of
Speaker 2: varying genders are mentally ill, and so they would have
Speaker 2: my therapists come in and all that. And she's tried
Speaker 2: to like work me through some plans for that, which
Speaker 2: is even more so scaring me away from legal action
Speaker 2: because it's like I don't want to involve all these
Speaker 2: people in my life. But other than that, she would say, like,
Speaker 2: you know, again, not everywhere is going to treat you
Speaker 2: like this. This was a special case with the really
Speaker 2: wealthy district and a really red area, and you know,
Speaker 2: just trying to like tell me that there there's no
Speaker 2: like there's there's still hope, right, But it's a different
Speaker 2: thing working through the trauma, I guess even though like
Speaker 2: logically I'm like, yeah, it's fine, I'll be okay, but
Speaker 2: people still hurt me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you you said that it's a thing that's
Speaker 1: keeping you up at night, yeah, exactly, what are what
Speaker 1: are like the persistent thoughts at you know, whatever it
Speaker 1: is three am that you're having about this whole situation.
Speaker 1: What is like that one of the most more most
Speaker 1: persistent things.
Speaker 2: I guess it's it's the feeling of like, you know,
Speaker 2: I've always believed everything happens for a reason, and I've
Speaker 2: thought like, well, maybe i got shoot away from teaching
Speaker 2: because not meant to be a teacher, or maybe i
Speaker 2: got shoot away from the area because I'm not supposed
Speaker 2: to be here, which I already moved cities to pursue
Speaker 2: this one job as is, and so to make another
Speaker 2: big move is like a whole other journey.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I'm just I'm I just been trying to
Speaker 2: find a reason that just happened to me, just trying
Speaker 2: to think not not you know, stay away from like
Speaker 2: you know, I'm just not a good enough teacher because
Speaker 2: I was. They were you know, my actual like Adaman
Speaker 2: was like, you know, you're gonna be teacher of the year.
Speaker 2: You're amazing, Like we love you. But it was just
Speaker 2: the parents that they.
Speaker 1: Looked, I'm glad you've I'm glad you feel that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1: Tell me let's talk about this for a second. Tell
Speaker 1: me away from all of this, what made you want
Speaker 1: to go be a teacher?
Speaker 2: Uh, I'm super passionate about art, and I want people
Speaker 2: to be passionate about art in their own lives because
Speaker 2: it's through my other you know, things that happened to
Speaker 2: me in my life, Like this has been my escape
Speaker 2: through like traditional media or whatever. Art history. I'm a
Speaker 2: big nerd about it and that was really exciting to me.
Speaker 2: Like at the school I taught was was younger kids,
Speaker 2: and just to see them like kind of like get
Speaker 2: a concept like that is like worth a whole day work.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Good, good, you know. I have a I have a
Speaker 1: sort of a thought about this, which is like, you know,
Speaker 1: kind of what you just told like like what you
Speaker 1: just told me of you know, remove everything and just
Speaker 1: like what is your passion? What do you want out
Speaker 1: of life? What is important to you? And really like
Speaker 1: like let everything go and just think about that in
Speaker 1: a vacuum. And you know the things that you told me.
Speaker 1: I'm passionate about teaching. I'm passionate about art. I like
Speaker 1: when when I get a kid to get something, you know,
Speaker 1: and I would really think about that and then when
Speaker 1: you bring everything back in and you're thinking about how
Speaker 1: you want to move forward. Do I do a lawsuit?
Speaker 1: Do I move do I do this? Do I do that?
Speaker 1: I would think about the answers to those questions in
Speaker 1: terms of which way forward best serves that passion. And
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't, I don't know the answer
Speaker 1: to that question, but that's kind of the framework of
Speaker 1: how I feel like I would think about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. I think that's really enlightening actually, because
Speaker 2: I mean, it gets so lost in all of that, right, like, yeah,
Speaker 2: my original passion for everything, it's so lost.
Speaker 1: Right, it gets lost. I mean, I'm sure there's feelings
Speaker 1: of like, you know, feeling like you need to be
Speaker 1: a voice for other people, or that you need to
Speaker 1: do this, or you know, I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know what all the sort of thoughts you
Speaker 1: you might be having, But I can see how they
Speaker 1: would take you away from what the core was of
Speaker 1: why you were doing all of this in the first place.
Speaker 1: And I would hope that you really operate out of
Speaker 1: that core because it's so easy in talking to the
Speaker 1: lawyer and talking to your friends who are getting heated
Speaker 1: to and talking to other people in the care It's
Speaker 1: just it's just so many things that are gonna take
Speaker 1: you away from the core of I'm passionate about art,
Speaker 1: I'm passionate about teaching, and I want to move forward
Speaker 1: in a direction in my life that best serves those passions.
Speaker 1: And I hope that as you're figuring all this stuff out,
Speaker 1: you're not letting yourself get too dragged away from that.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I really needed to hear that, Hyle.
Speaker 1: Thank you, good good and I'm sorry again that this
Speaker 1: happened to you and I and I I hope that
Speaker 1: you know, I hope that, like I said, you know,
Speaker 1: people being however they're going to be, is not dragging
Speaker 1: you away from from the passions that you have in life.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, thank you very much.
Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing all of this with us, Lars. I
Speaker 1: know this is a is a tough thing for you.
Speaker 1: Is there any other aspect of this or anything at
Speaker 1: all that you want to say to me or to
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, through all this, I've learned of a lot of
Speaker 2: horse stories that have happened to young teachers. Even though
Speaker 2: our country is begging and yearning for more teachers. We're
Speaker 2: still pushing them away, and I just want to talk
Speaker 2: to other disgraced teachers and tell them, well, what what
Speaker 2: you said is, don't lose your passion, and there's there's
Speaker 2: got to be, you know, a way that we can
Speaker 2: still be in the field and do what we want
Speaker 2: to do because they do need us at.
Speaker 3: The end of the day.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much for calling and sharing Lars. Good
Speaker 1: luck to you.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Have a great day, Lyle you too.
Speaker 2: Bye.
Speaker 3: Mm.
Speaker 1: Wow, that was a that was a tough one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: shout out to Lars. I'm sorry that that happened to them,
Speaker 1: But they did say that thing of what they like
Speaker 1: that was. I think what I picked up on in
Speaker 1: when they were talking was when Lars was like, I
Speaker 1: know I'm a good teacher. I know I did a
Speaker 1: good job. I know I'm good at it. And they
Speaker 1: said to that very confidently just now, and I was
Speaker 1: glad to hear that, because, you know, through all of this,
Speaker 1: the confidence and certainty that they had in their own
Speaker 1: abilities to do the thing that they like to do
Speaker 1: appears to not have been rattled too heavily, which is great.
Speaker 1: So I hope they move forward again in the direction
Speaker 1: that best suits them. I can understand again the multitude
Speaker 1: of ways that with the freaking news and this and that,
Speaker 1: and your friends, who are you do this thing that
Speaker 1: you're people were telling you to do the other thing?
Speaker 1: I can see how you can kind of get away
Speaker 1: from yourself. And I hope that doesn't happen to Lars,
Speaker 1: and it sounds like it won't. I think they're gonna
Speaker 1: be okay. I hope Hello, Hello, David. How's it going, man?
Speaker 1: What's what's what's life like?
Speaker 5: Life is good. I'm just just living, working, trying to
Speaker 5: make the best out of it. How's your life going?
Speaker 1: Is there anything in particular that you called in to
Speaker 1: talk about?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: So, man, it's kind of embarrassing. But back in the day,
Speaker 5: when I was in middle school, around twelve years old,
Speaker 5: my buddies and I probably around seven guys collected our
Speaker 5: pee in so you know those like Arizona gallon jugs,
Speaker 5: like Arizona t gallon jugs. Yes, So it all started
Speaker 5: because he didn't have a bathroom in his basement, right,
Speaker 5: and uh, one day he had to go pee and
Speaker 5: we have this gallon jug and he's like, oh, I
Speaker 5: was pissing this we did, and then one thing led
Speaker 5: to another, and then I pissed in it, and then
Speaker 5: a couple other people did, and then it got to
Speaker 5: the point where we had probably like six gallon jugs
Speaker 5: of of piss in his basement. And then after a
Speaker 5: few months, then I'm saying this, like, in my head,
Speaker 5: it didn't seem that bad, but as I'm talking about it,
Speaker 5: it sounds like really fucking bad. But after a few months,
Speaker 5: we dumped it off of a bridge in our hometown.
Speaker 1: You dumped it off of a bridge, Yeah, I did
Speaker 1: it get on anyone or anything, No, it.
Speaker 5: Was it was kind of an abandoned bridge over just
Speaker 5: a forested area. But it smelled pretty bad. That was
Speaker 5: a key factor.
Speaker 1: How long did you guys keep the bottles before you
Speaker 1: decided to dump them?
Speaker 5: It was a long time ago, but I'm pretty sure
Speaker 5: it was a couple of months, Like probably like at
Speaker 5: least two of them were a couple months old, Like
Speaker 5: they got to the point where they smelled like like pneumonia.
Speaker 1: What was it that convinced you to finally dump them
Speaker 1: after two months?
Speaker 5: Well, we were storing them in like a rubber made
Speaker 5: toat you know, and eventually the tote was full, and
Speaker 5: then we thought to ourselves, you know, maybe maybe this
Speaker 5: tradition has gone on long enough and we should.
Speaker 4: Get rid of it.
Speaker 1: What do you feel like you learned from this situation.
Speaker 5: That hive mind is a real thing and when enough
Speaker 5: close friends or anyone that have the same goal put
Speaker 5: their heads together, they can really accomplish something pointless.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like this has brought you closer together
Speaker 1: with your friends?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 5: Yeah, sometimes, I mean the main people involved. We did
Speaker 5: a lot of stupid shit during that time in our lives,
Speaker 5: but we're all still friends and sometimes we'll reminisce about
Speaker 5: the really embarrassing stupid shit that we did, and only
Speaker 5: we really know about it.
Speaker 4: And now you know about it.
Speaker 1: How do you feel that other people not know about this?
Speaker 5: How do I feel about other people not knowing about it?
Speaker 1: How do you feel about other people knowing about this?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 5: Knowing about it?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 5: I mean, this is the only time I've talked about
Speaker 5: it with anyone other than my friends. Like when I
Speaker 5: told the call screener, it just felt kind of icky
Speaker 5: coming out of my mouth.
Speaker 1: Mhm. Has as talking about it given you a different
Speaker 1: perspective on it?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I kind of I knew it was pretty weird,
Speaker 5: but now I feel like it's really weird. Like I'm
Speaker 5: a normal guy, but you know, like middle school age.
Speaker 4: Stuff is always really weird.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna about it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you something because you gave us this, David,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna give you something, all right. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I've talked about this before, but I
Speaker 1: I was involved in a Jewish youth group in high
Speaker 1: school that was about fifteen years old, and we had
Speaker 1: there was like a retreat at a hotel, and I
Speaker 1: once peed in a coffee cup. Wait, no, it wasn't
Speaker 1: a coffee cup. It was a clean It was like
Speaker 1: a glass cup. I once peed in a glass cup
Speaker 1: and then left it on a coffee table in the
Speaker 1: lobby of the hotel.
Speaker 5: Oh no, wait, where did you pee in it?
Speaker 4: Originally I think.
Speaker 1: I might have taken it to the bad I think
Speaker 1: I probably took it to the bathroom and peed in
Speaker 1: it and then left it on a coffee table in
Speaker 1: the middle of the hotel.
Speaker 5: Okay, I've never seen you outside of your gecko costume.
Speaker 5: So even though you're fifteen I'm still imagining you in
Speaker 5: your get.
Speaker 1: Go, just as a younger Gecko doing that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just like walking into this hotel, Bobby.
Speaker 1: I feel like that might have made it worse flat.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just hope no one picked it up and
Speaker 5: I thought it was their apple juice.
Speaker 4: That they left.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, hoping is all you can really do.
Speaker 5: Thanks for sharing that, though. It makes me feel slightly
Speaker 5: less downcast about what I did back in the day.
Speaker 1: David, is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 5: I just want to say I saw you in Chicago. Man,
Speaker 5: that was a really awesome show.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, beautiful. Ah, that's sick.
Speaker 5: I wasn't expecting that venue to be that that, Like
Speaker 5: this the room to be that small.
Speaker 2: It was cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was great. I love that n That was
Speaker 1: super intimate. People were like right up against the stage.
Speaker 1: People really shared some ship that night. It was great.
Speaker 1: I'm loving doing those live shows. I'll be back. I'll
Speaker 1: be back in Chicago next year. Awesome, I'll see that beautiful.
Speaker 1: Thank you, David.
Speaker 4: Thanks.
Speaker 1: Uh you know, listen, I I feel like so many
Speaker 1: people come to me with pissed stories. What kind of
Speaker 1: guy would I be if I didn't return one of
Speaker 1: my own Hello? Hi, how are you?
Speaker 3: I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 1: What is your name?
Speaker 3: My name is Jules. I'm low key, very fucking shocked
Speaker 3: right now and a little excited.
Speaker 1: Just be in the moment with me. This is it.
Speaker 1: This is right now. You're on the phone with a gecko.
Speaker 1: I am on a phone with and we we need
Speaker 1: to we need to squeeze this and make it the
Speaker 1: most it possibly can be. Jules, what's going on?
Speaker 4: What is going on?
Speaker 3: Is I am nineteen and married to my best friend
Speaker 3: of twenty one? You know the idea of like everybody
Speaker 3: talks about or jokes about getting married to like their
Speaker 3: best friend if they don't get married by a certain age. Well,
Speaker 3: me and my friend are actually doing it. This is
Speaker 3: a little joke.
Speaker 1: I feel like you picked a too young for an age.
Speaker 1: I feel like you picked a little too young. I
Speaker 1: understand I picked too.
Speaker 3: Young of an age, but this is more so me
Speaker 3: and my friend after a late workshift, we're talking about
Speaker 3: how most marriages end in divorce, over half do in America.
Speaker 3: So our conclusion was because everybody doesn't take a practice
Speaker 3: run at marriage before they get married. For the first time.
Speaker 3: So we decided to be each other's practice run of marriage.
Speaker 3: We've applied for the license. Our wedding date is actually
Speaker 3: going to be February third, twenty twenty three, so we
Speaker 3: have a two three going. Neither one of our parents
Speaker 3: know we bought each other rings. I'm pretty we We
Speaker 3: did get a little bit of cold feet a couple
Speaker 3: of days after we bought the marriage license, but we've
Speaker 3: decided to like fully commit and we are going to
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, uh so you are committing to a practice run.
Speaker 3: Of marriage to my best friends.
Speaker 1: And how is this a practice if you're actually getting married?
Speaker 3: Well, it's uh, I think it's a good practice run
Speaker 3: because we love each other. We get to practice like
Speaker 3: the actual ceremony part, the paperwork and all of that,
Speaker 3: and then being together having to jointly file taxes and
Speaker 3: all of that is a good practice run. And then
Speaker 3: we get a practice run of divorcing when time comes
Speaker 3: to be for when we actually marry the people we.
Speaker 4: Want to marry.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you are getting married. You're getting actually married. Yes,
Speaker 1: you are codifying it into law that you are married.
Speaker 1: You're filing your taxes together, and you are doing so
Speaker 1: with the full knowledge that you plan on getting divorced
Speaker 1: at some point. Yes, okay, Now what how long do
Speaker 1: you think you'll get married? How long do you think
Speaker 1: you'll be married for before the divorce?
Speaker 3: Well, I asked about I asked her this, and she
Speaker 3: did leave me on red and then the next day
Speaker 3: responded that she forgot to respond back to the text.
Speaker 3: But we we talked about it more in person, and
Speaker 3: it was about a ten to eleven year run we
Speaker 3: were planning on.
Speaker 1: So you were planning on getting married with a ten
Speaker 1: year expiration date?
Speaker 3: Yes, with a ten year expiration date.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I'll tell you this. I like the
Speaker 1: idea that you put a ten years on You put
Speaker 1: ten years on it, and then at ten years you go,
Speaker 1: it's almost like it's a contract. I mean it is
Speaker 1: a contract. I think, uh where at the end of
Speaker 1: ten years you're like, all right, should we renew or
Speaker 1: should we just call it quits?
Speaker 3: Basicly, and our whole thing was like, well not even
Speaker 3: our whole thing, A lot of our friends things was like,
Speaker 3: how are you going to prove this if it's like
Speaker 3: taken to court like that? Were like being like doing
Speaker 3: fraud for taxes We've known each other for fourteen years,
Speaker 3: and I'd say of those fourteen years of fall at
Speaker 3: ten of those we've been very best close friends. So
Speaker 3: we have text messages, photos, all of those types of
Speaker 3: things to like prove our quote unquote love. And also
Speaker 3: since Wynda's marriage, say that it has to be romantic
Speaker 3: love and that it can't be platonic love. You know,
Speaker 3: me and her are very very good platonic lovers.
Speaker 1: I feel like, so, Jules, you're not committing fraud.
Speaker 3: See, And that's what I was telling people, that I
Speaker 3: was not committing tax fraud. We were getting legitimately married,
Speaker 3: we are legitimately together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I the fraud thing is not the thing that
Speaker 1: I'm I'm interested in here. Well, do you have any
Speaker 1: do you have any concerns about this at all?
Speaker 3: I do have some concerns. I'm concerned that she might
Speaker 3: just be she might just be plotting my death in
Speaker 3: the future to take all my money and that would
Speaker 3: be like guaranteed with us being marriaged and all of that.
Speaker 3: But she did just put me on her four oh
Speaker 3: one k as her beneficiary primary one, so like that
Speaker 3: kind of killed my my only relief concern.
Speaker 1: So you could kill her for her money just as
Speaker 1: much as she could kill you for yours. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: I suppose that love is the playing field. Okay, do
Speaker 1: you have any other concerns about this?
Speaker 3: Probably just how my parents are going to react, because
Speaker 3: me and this girl have been best friends. She actually
Speaker 3: lived with me and my parents for a little bit.
Speaker 3: But my concern is how they're going to react. I
Speaker 3: feel like they're going to be like this is stupid
Speaker 3: and not understand like that it's a good practice run.
Speaker 1: I feel like, so, are you concerned at all with
Speaker 1: what might happen if your relationship with your friend, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, takes a hit in any way and now
Speaker 1: your your finances are fully entangled with them. Oh and
Speaker 1: and that is a that is a difficult thing to navigate,
Speaker 1: you know what.
Speaker 3: I didn't give that any thought. I felt like me
Speaker 3: and my friend's relationship our track records. While it hasn't
Speaker 3: been like the cleanest relationship, it's been very devoted relationship.
Speaker 3: We've fought often, we've gone a few months without talking,
Speaker 3: but we've always somehow come back around to patching things up.
Speaker 1: Just tell me again, and what your motivation for doing
Speaker 1: this is?
Speaker 3: My motivation to get married to my friend was to
Speaker 3: give marriage a practice round?
Speaker 1: Can I can? I? Can I tell you something though, Yes,
Speaker 1: what you're describing is not a practice. It's it is.
Speaker 1: You are getting married. You're not practicing getting married. You
Speaker 1: are getting married practicing it would be pretending to get married.
Speaker 1: There's no pretending or practicing. This is your going out
Speaker 1: on the field and doing it. This is not a
Speaker 1: practice if you're actually getting married. This is you getting married.
Speaker 2: To me.
Speaker 3: It's a practice because it's to a friend. But I
Speaker 3: see your point of it not being practiced because it
Speaker 3: is not pretend. It is real. So this is I
Speaker 3: really try at marriage.
Speaker 1: Well, ideally you're always getting married to a friend.
Speaker 4: This is true.
Speaker 3: This should be a vital thing.
Speaker 1: I don't listen, Jules. I'm not here to tell you
Speaker 1: what to do with your life. But I don't can
Speaker 1: I How many how many people have you? How many
Speaker 1: people have you ran this by in your life?
Speaker 2: How many people have.
Speaker 3: I ran this by? I've personally told three people in person,
Speaker 3: and I've like hinted towards it on my social media.
Speaker 3: But the only like real heart to heart conversation I've
Speaker 3: had about it was probably with the person I'm getting
Speaker 3: married to.
Speaker 1: Okay, again, I'm not here to burst your butt or
Speaker 1: tell you what to do with your life, but I
Speaker 1: guess I'm having trouble seeing how this is a practice
Speaker 1: when you are just fully straight up getting married.
Speaker 3: To me, it's a practice because it's like the friend.
Speaker 3: It's like the joke that everybody talks about, but like
Speaker 3: us actually doing it and like getting the knowledge of,
Speaker 3: like the actual marriage ceremony, the divorce to like having
Speaker 3: to file taxes is like practice with her instead of
Speaker 3: like somebody I might have ass love.
Speaker 1: Jewels. If you get you will always be getting married
Speaker 1: to somebody who, hopefully you believe you love. This is
Speaker 1: this is. This is I'm gonna I'm gonna just tell you,
Speaker 1: schadw this is. This is no different from you getting married,
Speaker 1: how however you view it in your head. This is
Speaker 1: no different from you just getting it. And you said
Speaker 1: it yourself, you said, we're actually doing it. This is
Speaker 1: There's there's no practicing here. This is you actually getting
Speaker 1: married to a person who emotions, thoughts, feelings, and actions
Speaker 1: you do not have any control over. That's what getting
Speaker 1: married is. So like again, I'm not going to tell
Speaker 1: you what to do with your life. But I mean,
Speaker 1: on this call right now, you've said that there were
Speaker 1: aspects that you did not think through, such as the
Speaker 1: idea that your relationship might not be beautiful and amazing forever,
Speaker 1: and I hope it is. I will say that, well,
Speaker 1: it's not even that. It's just like incorporating financial aspects
Speaker 1: into this changes the dynamics of your relationship that might
Speaker 1: make it less likely for it to be amazing and
Speaker 1: beautiful forever. So I again, I'm not going to tell
Speaker 1: you what to do. But if I've brought up some
Speaker 1: things on this call that you have not yet thought about,
Speaker 1: you should you should think about them.
Speaker 3: I appreciate that advice very much because I did think
Speaker 3: I thought everything through, like we were planning on getting
Speaker 3: an account together to put in money specifically for a divorce.
Speaker 3: But that whole idea of maybe our relationship not prospering
Speaker 3: like it has been does give me a thought on it.
Speaker 1: Get it again? Who say that again?
Speaker 3: I don't think I'm going to change my mind. I
Speaker 3: do think I will talk to the person more about it, though.
Speaker 1: Have you thought about getting a pre nup?
Speaker 3: Yes, we talked about our pre nup.
Speaker 1: And what were the conclusions of that talk.
Speaker 3: Just more so of us like talking about if we
Speaker 3: want one or not, and then we decided we do.
Speaker 3: We haven't gotten to the like lawyer paperwork part of
Speaker 3: the prenup, but we were going to do that before
Speaker 3: the ceremony.
Speaker 1: Okay, if I I just would encourage you to not
Speaker 1: think about this as a practice, because you're it's not
Speaker 1: you're you're doing it. A practice would not involve you
Speaker 1: going down to the courthouse and actually getting married.
Speaker 3: Fair enough, so I'm actually getting married to my friend.
Speaker 3: To you actually try marriage.
Speaker 1: You are and you know what, You're an adult with
Speaker 1: agency over your own life, and you you're free to
Speaker 1: do whatever you want with that agency. But I guess
Speaker 1: if I'm on the phone with you right now and
Speaker 1: we're talking about it, I would just encourage you to
Speaker 1: think about what you're doing as as as thoroughly as
Speaker 1: you possibly can before you do it.
Speaker 3: I will put even more thought than I already have
Speaker 3: into this for you and for me and the other person.
Speaker 1: Jules, is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 1: the people the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: Let those intrusive thoughts within, because I'm getting married because
Speaker 3: of it. Thank you have a great day.
Speaker 1: Geck you as well, good night, good night. I don't know, dude,
Speaker 1: I a fuck, I've said fucked fuck. I've said this
Speaker 1: so many times on this podcast that and I hate
Speaker 1: repeating myself. But I'm not going to tell her what
Speaker 1: to do. But I hate the idea of getting married
Speaker 1: at nineteen years old. There are so many infinite other
Speaker 1: things that you could be doing to positively and productively
Speaker 1: affect your life. But then again, I don't know. Man,
Speaker 1: We're all wired differently, and different things bring us happiness.
Speaker 1: So I'm not going to tell people what is going
Speaker 1: to make them happy in their life. But I do
Speaker 1: hope at Jules thinks about this, and I hopefully gets
Speaker 1: out of the idea that you know, she's in a practice,
Speaker 1: because nothing about what she described seemed to be a
Speaker 1: practice to me. And I mean, look, I'm thinking of
Speaker 1: I'm really thinking about it now. All of life is
Speaker 1: a practice, pretty much, right. I don't know if that
Speaker 1: makes sense, but I'm thinking about the ways in which
Speaker 1: it does. Because let's say that she does get married
Speaker 1: and her finances become entangled with this other part, and
Speaker 1: she loses a bunch of money and gets totally fucked.
Speaker 1: I mean whatever, she'll be like twenty one, She'll be
Speaker 1: have her youth and hopefully her arms and legs. She'll
Speaker 1: be fine. I think she'll be fine, is what I'm
Speaker 1: trying to say. But I hope she thinks about it. Hello. Hello,
Speaker 1: it says here you're twenty two years old from Colorado,
Speaker 1: and it says that you were born without a butthole. Yeah.
Speaker 4: So, yeah, I was born with a lot of medical problems,
Speaker 4: one of which was a bubble. I had a lot
Speaker 4: of cemmety issues, so like, for instance, my lungs and
Speaker 4: I switched, my heart is on the opposite side of
Speaker 4: the body, and I have to cheese vertebrae. But also
Speaker 4: another feature is having a no bubble. Originally, it started
Speaker 4: out as my orinary track in my large intestines were switched.
Speaker 4: So I was making little deer poops out of my
Speaker 4: ppe when I was about two days old. So I
Speaker 4: had emergency surgery to correct that, and so I had
Speaker 4: a butthole, but it just wasn't formed yet. So I
Speaker 4: had all that tissue structures and all the good stuff
Speaker 4: for the doctors to use, and yeah, just surgically made
Speaker 4: a butt butthole. But I had a butt crack.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you had the beginnings of a butthole, but
Speaker 1: not a completed butthole.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly a pre butthole.
Speaker 1: And so currently this and so you're talking about when
Speaker 1: you were a baby, currently as a twenty two year old,
Speaker 1: what is the status of your butthole.
Speaker 4: That perfectly functional? Normal? It's actually funny. I actually kind
Speaker 4: of had an access a little shot in my parents
Speaker 4: a little bit the other day, just climbing. But I
Speaker 4: was out all day outside climbing, rock climbing, and you know,
Speaker 4: in the harness of just basically forced in that position,
Speaker 4: a little came out, but you know, it just kind
Speaker 4: of sucked it up and dealt with it, and then
Speaker 4: when I got home just kind of cleaned up. But yeah, no,
Speaker 4: it's pretty normal now. I had a lot of issues
Speaker 4: growing up with it, but now it's yeah, shit happens,
Speaker 4: and I'm pretty normal as any other normal butthole user is.
Speaker 1: So how long did it take around? What age did
Speaker 1: your butthole arrive at some sense of normality?
Speaker 4: Oh, good question. I would say I would say like
Speaker 4: high school, kind of late high school, late high school.
Speaker 4: That's when I kind of.
Speaker 1: So, so you did experience many years. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think you know, if you where a toddler or a baby,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't have had enough consciousness to even remember what
Speaker 1: life was like with without a normal butthole. But you
Speaker 1: have had in your youth conscious years where you did
Speaker 1: not have a butthole.
Speaker 4: Well, I had it, but I just didn't have like
Speaker 4: normal function. So I just it wasn't as strong as
Speaker 4: your butthole per se. And so when you could like
Speaker 4: hold in your poop, I couldn't as well. And so
Speaker 4: it took a lot of like just growing up and
Speaker 4: just strength training specifically like keegels, in order to like
Speaker 4: strengthen that and enable me to like hold my poop
Speaker 4: per se.
Speaker 1: So, Michael, you're thirteen years old, you have an abnormal butthole.
Speaker 1: How does this affect your day to day life?
Speaker 4: I would say not a lot. Like I was still
Speaker 4: a three sport athlete. I played football, I wrestled, and
Speaker 4: I ran track and whatnot. But I'd always like come prepared.
Speaker 4: I'd come like with a.
Speaker 2: Bag and.
Speaker 4: Underwear and whatnot, just in case if anything did happen,
Speaker 4: and I would be prepared for it. But like inevitably,
Speaker 4: you just have to like prepare for it and then
Speaker 4: kind of like not be ashamed of yourself and just
Speaker 4: accept that, like, you know, this is who I am,
Speaker 4: and you know I'm not there yet, but I will
Speaker 4: be and this is just part of process.
Speaker 1: Interesting, So has this process of accepting yourself and your
Speaker 1: physical abnormalities been helpful to you just as a general
Speaker 1: practice of being okay with who you are?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Absolutely. Like another big thing about my personality per se
Speaker 4: is I'm autistic. I or was diagnosed with Aspergers, even
Speaker 4: though it's not formally anymore. But that was another thing.
Speaker 4: I was just really socially awkward as younger, as a kid,
Speaker 4: and just really was hard accepting like who I am,
Speaker 4: and like I have a huge scar across my stomach.
Speaker 4: So I was really ashamed of like being shirtless in
Speaker 4: front of a large crowd because I just didn't want
Speaker 4: people to ask questions about my scars and whatnot. But
Speaker 4: now I love to work out and whatnot, and I
Speaker 4: you know, more than comfortable with like climbing with my
Speaker 4: shirt off and just going out in public without my
Speaker 4: shirt on, you know, because I developed muscles. But it's
Speaker 4: also it's just it doesn't matter because it doesn't define me,
Speaker 4: I define those characters like like for autism, growing up,
Speaker 4: my parents treated me normally like they would with my
Speaker 4: other siblings, and that was probably the best thing that
Speaker 4: could have happened to me. It's just like, you know,
Speaker 4: not being treated special because of my conditions.
Speaker 1: Have you had times maybe by teachers or by other
Speaker 1: students growing up where you were treated differently because you
Speaker 1: had autism?
Speaker 4: I would say I was pretty pretty reluctant actually, just
Speaker 4: growing up a good family environment and just good friends
Speaker 4: around me. I would say that, like I was just
Speaker 4: more unaware of like how they were treating me, like
Speaker 4: viewing that as like something negative, some like reflecting and
Speaker 4: like oh wow, they're an asshole. But like maybe before
Speaker 4: I was like holy shit, someone's talking to me or
Speaker 4: something like that. But I try not to view it
Speaker 4: as like something that they're like directly negative towards me.
Speaker 4: It's more of like a misunderstanding on their part.
Speaker 1: Mmm. I mean, so it sounds like, you know, growing
Speaker 1: up you had to deal with a lot of physical
Speaker 1: and mental challenges. To where you are at in your
Speaker 1: life right now, what degree are these things still challenging you,
Speaker 1: if if any at all?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say it's it's I'm in college right now,
Speaker 4: I'm on my final setch of that, and I'm still
Speaker 4: kind of discovering myself and still trying to figure out myself.
Speaker 4: I've been living alone for about two years now, and
Speaker 4: I'm still running a lot about myself, and a lot
Speaker 4: of it is, you know, not positive, like you know,
Speaker 4: I'm not as outgoing as I thought I was, or
Speaker 4: probably blah, I want more friends or something like this
Speaker 4: as all just stemming from my own issues. But it's
Speaker 4: like just realizing that it's my problems and it's not
Speaker 4: like other people.
Speaker 1: What can I can I start kind of stopping for something?
Speaker 1: When you when you say when you say in this
Speaker 1: discovery process that you're talking about, when you say you
Speaker 1: discovered you're not as outgoing as you thought you were,
Speaker 1: what does that mean?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: What did that discovery look like?
Speaker 4: Well, it's a really good question. I would say that
Speaker 4: I mean that by like like in kind of first introductions,
Speaker 4: Like if I would say I'm outgoing with with people
Speaker 4: I'm comfortable with and people that I know, but like
Speaker 4: you know, and being introduced or talking to a job
Speaker 4: at the bar, or just like a random student that
Speaker 4: I haven't met before. It's just like a lot more
Speaker 4: nerve wracking, and I can't really be my true self
Speaker 4: and be as outgoing as I think I am, just
Speaker 4: because I kind of freeze up and and so forth.
Speaker 1: And is this something that you are optimistic about being
Speaker 1: able to kind of overcome in the future.
Speaker 4: H Yeah, yeah, I would say so. I like sitting
Speaker 4: in as I like education because I just like failing
Speaker 4: and I like seeing progress because that's the one thing
Speaker 4: I'm starting to realize is like failure is good and
Speaker 4: even though it doesn't feel good in the moment, it's
Speaker 4: a really good teaching point and you can become better
Speaker 4: off of it. And so that's like me becoming a
Speaker 4: better out, more outgoing person. It's just me more willing
Speaker 4: to become uncomfortable with those situations that I try to
Speaker 4: exclude myself from.
Speaker 1: It is interesting, It is interesting, and I feel like
Speaker 1: you've had to do that a lot in your life,
Speaker 1: so you're kind of used to the process.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, I've also been like leaking spinal fluid. That was
Speaker 4: one of my seat surgeries caused me to leak spinal
Speaker 4: fluid for eighteen years of my life, and that was
Speaker 4: just me getting used to being uncomfortable and so now
Speaker 4: it's like a lot of times I'm either extremely uncomfortable
Speaker 4: or not uncomfortable, and like when I am comfortable, it's
Speaker 4: it's a weird feeling, you know. It's like it's just
Speaker 4: like I can't say still, I have to be doing
Speaker 4: something consistently, or I have to be putting myself in
Speaker 4: these uncomfortable situations, or else I just like get bored
Speaker 4: and complacent.
Speaker 1: Well this is cool, man, because you know you still
Speaker 1: you know, like everyone have problems and challenges with your life.
Speaker 1: You haven't, you you have not solved the game of existence.
Speaker 1: But it sounds like you're it sounds like you're like
Speaker 1: sitting on a good foundation of dealing with your problems,
Speaker 1: you know, a better one than maybe you had growing
Speaker 1: up as a result of those experiences growing up. Is
Speaker 1: that accurate?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Absolutely, Like everybody has adversity, it's just like kind of
Speaker 4: where that is in their life and like what areas
Speaker 4: that adversity is, And you know, kind of your character
Speaker 4: is defined by how you overcome those adversities.
Speaker 1: But did you say at one point that you have
Speaker 1: a poop out of your penis? Yeah?
Speaker 4: No, that's how the doctors found it out is they
Speaker 4: saw like like I don't know if you've ever very
Speaker 4: vivid like graphic explanation, but if you've ever skinned the
Speaker 4: deer and you take out a digestive track, you see
Speaker 4: a bunch of like poop pellets, like in the digestic track,
Speaker 4: and they're like little pellets, and then space. It's like
Speaker 4: a snake eating these pellets for safe and so that's
Speaker 4: what my penis looked like, was like these little pellets
Speaker 4: like space style, and they're like, holy shit, it would
Speaker 4: be good.
Speaker 1: I feel like the fact that you had to poop
Speaker 1: out of your penis at a young age, it's set
Speaker 1: you because that is like you've already done the hardest thing,
Speaker 1: so everything gets a little bit easier from there. So
Speaker 1: it's kind of you got said nicely with that.
Speaker 4: Absolutely it sets the pace and gives you some perspective.
Speaker 1: Michael, is there anyth else you want to say to
Speaker 1: the people the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: I would just say, you know whatever, you're going to
Speaker 4: keep your head up and there's always silver lining and
Speaker 4: you always pop up through. It's enough time.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling, Michael, Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 4: Ile I a good rest of your day, man.
Speaker 1: I like that guy because he had a very interesting
Speaker 1: perspective on how he's living his life. No, he started
Speaker 1: off at like level ten difficulty and then everything just
Speaker 1: got a little bit easier from there. I'm kind of inspiring.
Speaker 1: I kind of inspired to attempt to poop out of
Speaker 1: my own penis so that every challenge that I go
Speaker 1: through in life seems comparatively easier. But I don't know
Speaker 1: how to do that, so I will not there.
Speaker 4: Rep Cant goes on the line taking your phone calls
Speaker 4: every night.
Speaker 2: The repeat Can goes doing his ride's teaching.
Speaker 1: You cloud liver your
Speaker 2: Life, but he's not really an expert.