1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,560 Speaker 1: Somebody threw a football into my backyard? Do you know 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:04,560 Speaker 1: who it belongs to? It's one more thing. 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 2: I'm one more thing. 4 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 3: What are you talking about? 5 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:17,279 Speaker 1: I've been familiar with next door for a long time, 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,959 Speaker 1: but I'd never had the notifications on where I would 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: get where I would get the regular everything everybody posts? 8 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 1: Good God, is that a smorgus board of unimportant things? 9 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: It is? 10 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 3: Question? 11 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 2: It is the forum the first world problems? 12 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:37,479 Speaker 1: Is well, it's it's a combination of like first world 13 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 1: problems that you really don't need to mention out loud 14 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,599 Speaker 1: to anyone, and uh, and like big problems. 15 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 3: That there are much better venues for finding the answer, 16 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,200 Speaker 3: like my you know, my dad has got this disease. 17 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: My dad's got Parkinson. He happened to be president. Does 18 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 1: anybody recommend a good doctor? You're going on next door 19 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: for that, as that your best place to try to 20 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: figure out these things? 21 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:07,920 Speaker 3: Just seems odd to me. Yeah, I guess nobody ever responds, 22 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 3: So I don't know why everybody's fishing in this pond. 23 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 3: I could see asking for a recommendation of like a 24 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 3: service provider or something like that. I wouldn't ask what 25 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 3: medicine do you think he ought to take or anything 26 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 3: like that. 27 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: Or you know a football is in my backyards, they 28 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: may know it belonged to That was one this morning. 29 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,480 Speaker 2: Oh boy, I saw one the other day that somebody 30 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,960 Speaker 2: took a picture off of a ring camera of a 31 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 2: kid that doorbell ditched them, and they posted the video 32 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 2: on next door going. 33 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,119 Speaker 3: Who is kid? Is this right? Right? 34 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: Lots of those, lots of those, lots of did anybody 35 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,480 Speaker 1: just hear that noise that happens like ten times a day? 36 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,199 Speaker 3: And then various responses. 37 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: I did too. I thought it sounded like a gun. 38 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: It didn't sound like a gun. It sounded like more okay, whatever. 39 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 1: But here's my favorite one from today that got me 40 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: on this very topic. Here's another one. Somebody asking about shingles. 41 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 3: Find a medical professional or glitter or web md or 42 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 3: something not next door. She's talking about roof depilating a 43 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:08,360 Speaker 3: nerve pain or exactly I'm talking about the disease. Here's 44 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 3: my favorite one. 45 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,080 Speaker 1: Does anybody know what I should do with this crow? 46 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: It has a hurt wing. It landed between our houses. 47 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 3: I'm trying. 48 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 1: I'm trying to I'm trying to nurse it back to health. 49 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: It keeps hopping around, and I don't know what to 50 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 1: do with it. You got to put the whip to it. 51 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: It's not trying hard enough. What should I do with it? 52 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 2: Call it a sissy and tell it to try harder. 53 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 3: Right, exactly, tell it. The Good Lord helps crows that 54 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 3: help themselves. Like, is it like the new Google for 55 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:42,639 Speaker 3: your neighbors? 56 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,360 Speaker 2: I don't understand why people are utilizing that, all. 57 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: Right, that's what I'm saying. 58 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 3: You don't have Google or any of the other search 59 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 3: engines for figuring stuff out, or even TikTok or whatever 60 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 3: you do. You go to the next door with the 61 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,640 Speaker 3: other eighty year old. Nothing else to do is to 62 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 3: answer your question. Yeah, yeah, it's just I just shocked 63 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 3: by it. And I've always wondered this about when I 64 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 3: didn't live in a neighborhood for like twenty years. 65 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: But now I'm in a neighborhood. Every neighborhood I've ever 66 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 1: lived in, pretty much, there are quite a few houses 67 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,799 Speaker 1: where you know who lives there, even if you don't 68 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: know know them, you see them on a regular basis, 69 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: getting in their car, kid, coming home on a bike, whatever. 70 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,080 Speaker 3: But there's always several houses where you just never see anybody. 71 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 3: Yeah ever, ever, you never see anybody ever. Somebody lives there. 72 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 3: Lights get turned on at night, off in the morning, 73 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 3: and that must be the crowd that's on next door 74 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 3: asking about crows or medical questions or whatever. It must 75 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 3: be that crowd. You gotta go on next door and say, hey, 76 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 3: has anybody ever seen anybody come out of the blue house? 77 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 2: Just start asking really weird questions on there, Jack, that'd 78 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 2: be perfect. 79 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 3: Hey, speaking of asking advice, I thought this was so 80 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 3: interesting and it makes sense in my head. See if 81 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 3: it does to you. It's new research out about getting advice, 82 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 3: asking for advice, that sort of thing, and this, Elizabeth 83 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 3: Bernstein writes, we tend to believe the best person for 84 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 3: support during a tough time will always be someone who's 85 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 3: been there before. Turns out that's wrong. New research shows 86 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 3: we may get better help from people who've been through 87 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 3: a significant challenge that's different from our own. Because social 88 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 3: scientists say this is because those who have been through 89 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:32,359 Speaker 3: an unrelated challenge can empathize with our emotional pain, but 90 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 3: they won't assume they know what our experience is like 91 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,840 Speaker 3: or bring their own emotional baggage to the conversation. 92 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,960 Speaker 1: Oh Hunt great, That is interesting. I think that one over. 93 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 3: Meanwhile, somebody who's quote unquote been there before sometimes talks 94 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,039 Speaker 3: more than they listen. They may also give advice solely 95 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 3: based on their experience and forget that ours is going 96 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 3: to be different, and because they got already got over 97 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 3: the problem, they think we should too, and tend to 98 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 3: minimize how painf situation is. 99 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,239 Speaker 1: My main advice with big things that I've been through 100 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:09,600 Speaker 1: is usually having been through this, don't listen to anybody's advice. 101 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: So that's about my only advice on a number of 102 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 1: big things. 103 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 3: Wow wow interesting. A cynical man or an experienced man. 104 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:27,039 Speaker 3: Sometimes you don't know. Sometimes someone you don't know well 105 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 3: may have different life experiences that you can draw upon. 106 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,920 Speaker 3: You never know what people know until you ask. 107 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: Well, like, that's the advice I give them my cancer experience, 108 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 1: because I've had a number of people ask me who 109 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:41,359 Speaker 1: get cancer, and I say, don't take anybody's advice because 110 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:45,919 Speaker 1: everybody's situation is so incredibly different. I heard so many 111 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,920 Speaker 1: things that turned out not to be true. I'd've been 112 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 1: better off if I never asked. Everybody's situation is miles 113 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: apart and changes on a daily basis, so don't worry 114 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,360 Speaker 1: about it. And child rearing while not the same as that, 115 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 1: because there are some truths tochild wearing, definitely, but man, 116 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,719 Speaker 1: there's a lot of I don't know, what are you 117 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,679 Speaker 1: telling me this for when it comes to child wearing. 118 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:11,120 Speaker 3: Also, yeah, a lot of people are trying to express 119 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 3: their own how do I put this, work out their 120 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 3: own issues or exhibit their own egos or something. 121 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,360 Speaker 1: Because kids are so different, and then the parents interaction 122 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,160 Speaker 1: with the kid is so different. It's just, yeah, it's 123 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 1: hard to normalize a lot of it. 124 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe the worst advice giver is somebody who's raised 125 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 3: a kid, because getting back to the beginning of this article, 126 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 3: they're completely convinced that their experience is universal. I'm not 127 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 3: talking about all of you that have had one child. 128 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 3: Obviously some of you have wisdom, but yeah, you'd exactly 129 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 3: be what she was describing. Yep, I because I've got 130 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 3: that situation. It ends up fine. 131 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: If I just if I'd only had one of them, 132 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 1: I would think I was the world's greatest parent and 133 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,920 Speaker 1: be willing to lay out all kinds of advice and 134 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 1: maybe write a book if I don't la ad the 135 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:55,920 Speaker 1: other one. 136 00:06:55,920 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 3: I would think I'm a disaster. Yeah, I heard that. 137 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:03,919 Speaker 3: So final note on this, which I found interesting was 138 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 3: the power of weak ties. Conversations with people that you 139 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 3: have weak ties with can be surprisingly helpful. They don't 140 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 3: know us well, they don't know our faults. They're less 141 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 3: likely to judge us or make assumptions about our situation 142 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 3: or something like that. 143 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: I've had many experiences like this. 144 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 3: Are much more likely to be a fellow, like a brainstormer, 145 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 3: than a bestower of alleged wisdom. They're much more likely 146 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 3: to listen and toss out ideas with you than try 147 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 3: to lay the law down. 148 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: This is the guy sitting next to you at the 149 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: bar or the bus stop or whatever. Yeah. I've had 150 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 1: this experience many times in my life, and it works 151 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: both directions. They don't have any particular agenda. Because they 152 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: don't know you and you don't They can say things 153 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 1: that if somebody who did know you said them, you'd 154 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,240 Speaker 1: get furiously angry. But because you don't know them at 155 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 1: all and have nothing invested, you can just hear what 156 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 1: they have to say. 157 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, the power of weak ties thought provoking. Yeah, ask 158 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 3: a stranger, Well, I guess that's it.