WEBVTT - EP 327: Why Have 1 Boyfriend, When You Can Have 5 (Ft. Hazel Grace) 0:00:02.560 --> 0:00:05.760 Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision. 0:00:08.800 --> 0:00:13.040 We reached a climax, y'all, our Climax Tour. We are 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:15.240 going to be going all over the country and Canada 0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:18.240 East coast, Midwest, West coast, South Many's going to tell 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:20.040 you all about how to secure your tickets because I'm 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:22.319 telling y'all you don't want to let this sell out. 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:23.720 Y'all heard it right. 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:29.120 We are hitting sixteen cities for the official Climax Tour, 0:00:29.200 --> 0:00:33.680 brought to you by Horrible Decisions. Y'all do not want 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:37.199 to miss out our patrons. While I first did to 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.920 purchase pre sell tickets with a special code giving out 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:44.960 only on Patreon and tickets will be available for everybody 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:48.120 at or Hive dot com, you do not want to 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:51.200 miss out. Tickets are short of sellout and we want 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:54.880 the Horrhive presence loud and proud. 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:57.360 See you there. Now, let's get to the show. 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:02.320 Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Harvard Blast. 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:07.920 Decision that wasn't bed Do like it. It was good. 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:11.240 He got the infliction of you know, the hazard up 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:13.600 and down the bit I'm gonna say up and down, 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:16.280 I'm just saying, bitch, I just rode Dick fo days 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:18.600 ago in Babe, I feel like up and down, up 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:19.360 and down, up and down. 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:23.920 Walk. Oh, I definitely felt like I got hit by 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:24.240 a bus. 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:27.200 But you know we're here and I realized I just 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:29.840 have tostruction next time. But guys, welcome to another episode. 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:33.320 You know in Figure Mandy b a a ful cor 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:37.800 Pumps aka Debt Bitch aka pet Stallion aka Pegan Marco. 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:40.960 Bitch and what's up, y'all, I'm weazy, welcome back to 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:44.920 another episode. We're so happy to be in the studio together. Yes, 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:48.040 you guys know we're on tour. Please check out our 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:51.120 tour dates for the Climax tour. This is really important 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:53.720 to us because it's our final tour and it's an 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:56.880 amazing show. We're putting us so much effort and production 0:01:57.000 --> 0:02:00.080 into it. And what I really was going to propose. 0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:02.360 Was you should do your masturbation on one of the 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:07.200 damn Oh my god. Wow. If you're joined today by 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:10.480 Hazel Grace, you know I'm actually touring this year too. 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:13.520 I don't know, but I wait, Actually I'm just touring 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:17.480 the United States. Connect I told you I'm looking for 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:19.519 boyfriends in every city I need like one in every 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:21.440 So I'm touring because you never know who you'll find 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:23.720 right her. You could just swipe on the internet, but 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:27.200 you ain't got a flight. I prefer to go and 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:29.079 see a city and then I have a membership to 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:31.519 this high end like site for like men of a 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:33.880 higher caliber, and it's easier to connect with them when 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:37.880 you're in their sit Like I know, I can tell 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:40.200 you like the name of it, but I'll get arrows. 0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:42.360 I'll give you the d I'll give we know, something 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:44.679 like that. Okay, we'll be noticed that right, okay, but 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:45.120 something like. 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:48.280 Is this site where you can be on there and 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:52.160 it's not necessarily like you're on there for sex because 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:53.520 like seeking arrangement, so. 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:57.320 It's like speaking arrangement, but like with the Arrow's clientele. 0:02:57.720 --> 0:03:01.920 Oh right, can you curious? I don't want to clock 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:02.400 you or anything. 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:04.440 I'm just saying, like, can you not say the site 0:03:04.560 --> 0:03:06.760 because you're worried that you may get your profile removed 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:08.720 or you're worried the site for multiple reasons? 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:15.400 Yeah, multiple reasons, I'm singing. I wanna I was definitely 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:17.760 one of them. I want to try. I will definitely 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:19.920 give you the tools behind the scenes, but that's definitely 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:22.079 one of the reasons is that you don't want to, 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:24.400 you know, go and tell a million people like, oh, 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:26.640 I'm doing this thing. No, I'm just gonna tell it's 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:28.480 an exclusive like membership type of thing, and you have 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:30.519 to have the right people in it. Is it expensive 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:34.920 to be not for me? Talk your ship? Yeah? And 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:39.680 who are you? What's your name? Hazel Grace? You guys, Hello, 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:42.000 thank you so much for having me. I am Hazel Grace. 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:44.120 I am an adult actress. I've been doing porn for 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:48.400 like five years. I started in melanin about three years ago. 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:50.280 So now I'm a director and a producer and I 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:55.160 only shoot women of color, right, so I think that's it. 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:58.640 I'm a white I'm a girlfriend, I am all of 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:02.960 the above. So you right before we started. 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:05.400 One of the interesting things that I learned, and of 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:09.040 course had no clue about, is that you were actually married. 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:10.840 I am. I am. 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:12.640 I can't believe people don't know that about me. So, 0:04:12.800 --> 0:04:15.880 but and you've been You're married to your high school sweetheart. 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:18.160 I am, yes. And he's not in the industry. 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:21.600 He's not in the industry now, he's a regular regular, 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:23.240 which is what he is. 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:25.840 A marine so he does not allow I can't call 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:31.520 him a civilian here. Yeah, we both call everybody outside 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:34.240 of our jobs civilians. But he was a marine, but 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:37.000 once a marine, always a marine. Now he's in he's alignment, 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:39.680 so he works on power lines and stuff, the big bugs, 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:41.480 and he travels a lot, just the old days before 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:42.760 I'm twenty five. 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.400 I was curious because when you said high school sweets arts, 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:48.120 and I'm like, then you had you were in the military, 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:51.440 You like, lived this full life already in you're twenty five. 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:54.280 Yes, wow, I had my first place, Like I moved 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:56.240 out of my parents' house at eighteen, Like as soon 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:58.159 as I graduated, I moved out. I was living by myself. 0:04:58.200 --> 0:05:01.000 My plan was to move to California with my wife, 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:03.240 so and her and I were never legally married, but 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:05.039 we always called each other. You know, I'm your wife. 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:06.160 You and my wife. We had bought each other with 0:05:06.240 --> 0:05:08.320 fake little rings, like we were a little couple or whatever. 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:10.760 And then she moved back to U Tom We're like, 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:12.360 we're gonna move to Cali, and then she moved. I 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:14.800 got married, and then he ended up taking me to 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:17.920 California anyway, because we had already had this discussion about 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:19.680 my career, and he's like, you need to be in Cali, 0:05:19.760 --> 0:05:21.600 like you're doing porn here, like CALLI is where you 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:24.720 need to be to shoot. So he moved was stationed 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:28.160 like getting in Yo, we'll get into that sk her 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:30.920 like he requested to be stationed in California so that 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:32.400 I could start my career. So then we were there 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:34.240 for four years and I really did live a lot. 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:36.840 And now I'm back in Florida. And what made her 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:39.800 to get into doing porn? So that's the story she've 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:43.039 been waiting for. So like, I honestly, yeah, I wanted 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:44.640 to be a politician. I did. I wanted to be 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:47.599 a senator. And so I'm like doing the mundane things, 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:49.599 you know, the step by step in the hamster will. 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:51.520 And then one of my friends comes up to me. 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:53.760 I'm struggling. I'm working three jobs as a server, and 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:56.440 she's like, would you like to make some extra money 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:59.520 like this holiday season for you know, you know whatever. 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:01.919 I'm like, yeah, She's like, my job is paying people 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:05.120 one thousand dollars to just show up and wear lingerie 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:08.240 for four hours for five nights, four hours each five nights. 0:06:08.600 --> 0:06:11.080 You wear lingerie, you take pictures with the customers, and 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:13.240 I was like, I need extra money. Living in Alabama, 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.360 like minimum wage, like bro I was making nowhere near that. 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:16.520 So I was at the time that was like a 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:17.839 lot of money for me. I'm like, yes, I can 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:19.840 buy all my nieces and nephew's Christmas presents and not 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:22.000 be stressed. So I took the job. Turns out it 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:24.120 was an ex smart which I didn't even know existed. 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:29.640 It's a novelty store, an adult novelty store. They sell lingerie, lube, toys, 0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:32.560 literally everything that you can think of that has to 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:35.240 do with sex. It's in there, movies, magazines, it's everything. 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:39.200 It's a sex start, right. But I'm me being young, 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:41.120 dumb eighteen growing up in the Bible bell I honestly 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:42.800 did not know we had them. I didn't know they existed. 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:44.520 I just did not have any knowledge of that. So 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:46.200 I took the job. It was awesome, and then I 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:47.960 just had so much fun in there. Y'all, Oh my god, 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:50.440 some shit in there. I so much fun they had. 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:52.359 Like I saw one of those you know, the half people, 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:54.560 you know, the the what are called people? You know, 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:57.680 the silicone like you Yeah, I could get a Torso. 0:06:57.880 --> 0:06:59.920 You could get a Torso and I'm just in the 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:01.880 are like a kid in a candy store. I was 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:02.440 just so shocked. 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:06.440 If someone comes in and buys a Torso, it's giving 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:08.200 the crophilia. It's giving CALLI. 0:07:08.800 --> 0:07:11.920 It's basically I toured the factory. 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:15.280 It's called real Doll in Vegas, and basically it's a 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:18.080 blow up doll, but instead it just has more weight 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:19.560 to it, right, and you can put. 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:21.720 Heat sticks in them. They're not cold always like. 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:24.480 It's it doesn't give necrophilia because it's really essentially like 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:26.200 a better version of a sexy. 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:28.800 It's a sleeve. But what you said, you said torso though, 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:33.960 is it not from your neck down to hear? Yeah, 0:07:33.960 --> 0:07:38.320 it has it's like I thought. And my husband actually 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:41.080 got one of those for free from our our from 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:43.520 Xmart one year. Like they had a deformed one. It 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:45.400 was literally just the nipple was off a little bit. 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:47.760 But we sold these things on six dollars. We sold 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:49.800 these things like six dollars, like a nipple off. I 0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:52.160 can't sell it. So I took it home to my 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:54.080 husband and I watched him fuck itt y'all. I was like, 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:57.480 I want to see this. I it was so it 0:07:57.560 --> 0:07:59.920 was so interesting, but no. I was working there five 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:01.640 days and the manager fell in love with me. I 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:03.360 fell in love with the place, the customers, and she 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:04.760 was like, please let your resume. I was like, y'all 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:06.280 don't paying off. You're like, y'all are paying less than 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:08.160 what I'm making now, and she's like, no, do it. 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:09.760 And then eventually, like I told you, it was, it's 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:13.280 always been my husband just being mad supportive. Because one 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:15.520 day I was just like upset, you know, like working 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:18.320 three jobs it gets tiring, and he's like, you should 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:19.920 just go. They want you at Xmart and I'm like, 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:21.200 I'm not gonna be able to pay all the bills 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:22.840 like doing that. He's like, I'll take care of everything. 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:24.880 Like do something that makes you happy, Like you're gonna 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:26.400 be making some money, You're gonna be able to help. 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:28.560 You obviously want to be there and work there, Like 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:30.240 I think that you should do it. So I quit 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:32.040 all my serving jobs and went to work at Exmart. 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:34.160 And I was making nowhere near the amount of money 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:35.800 that I needed to survive. But I had him now 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:38.560 and so like it worked out and then how porn 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:41.800 So then I'm there for three years I'm there for 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:44.080 three years. No, honestly, like I'm having fun, but y'all 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.439 I had no confidence at that time. So like picture it. 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:49.800 Like someone's like, you could be the star exactly. I'm 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:52.520 watching all the movies. We played like seven eight movies 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:54.679 a day on the TV. There's constantly porn playing when 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:56.800 you walk in the store. So I'm just amazed, and 0:08:56.840 --> 0:08:57.880 I'm like, you could do it, you could do it, 0:08:57.920 --> 0:08:59.319 you could do it. I'm like, no, no, I can't. No, 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:02.000 no I can't. So you think you couldn't. What happens 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:05.280 is in her first boyfriend, I'm working there one morning 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:07.839 morning shift. He comes in. He's like being weird. I 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:09.840 didn't notice, and then he's like can I eventually comes 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:10.920 over He's like can I pay you to go on 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:13.439 a date? And I'm like no, that's weird. So then 0:09:13.640 --> 0:09:15.600 I go home. My husband's like, are you fucking stupid? 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:18.000 If this man comes back, tell him yes, like are 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:19.480 you kidding? Like, because I was like I thought he'd 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:21.880 be weird about it. Whatever. He's like, no, go do it. 0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:23.480 So then he comes back. I'm like, yeah, I'll let 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:24.439 you pay me to go on a date. We go 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:26.199 on a date and At first he wants me to 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:28.520 peg him, and that's how it started. But then over time, 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:31.199 like this man became my best friend. It started with 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:32.920 the pegging and then eventually he's like, yeah, you should 0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:34.600 get into porn. I think that's hot, blah blah blah blah. 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:38.720 And he fully financed my dreams, Like I started traveling 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:40.839 to Miami. He took care of everything. I found me 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:44.000 an agent. That actually took a while. We'll get into that. 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:46.839 As a black woman in porn, like I went to 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:48.920 Florida three four or five times and ended up having 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:50.680 to go all the way to av N in twenty nineteen. 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:52.800 The last one that was in person. Yes, and that's 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:59.480 where I got my first agentated. Yeah, let me ask 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:01.760 you if you questions. I'm curious. H of course, you 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:04.599 said you grew up in the Bible Belt, where like 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:07.840 fifteen minutes outside of Montgomery, Alabama. So you grew up 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:09.760 in the Bible Belt. Black girl that was in the 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.199 military gets in a portant. Is your husband black? He 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:13.720 is not, He's Caucasian. 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:18.840 When you when you're like in the Bible Belt dating 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:21.320 a fucking white guy, then you guys are in the military, 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:22.080 then you do porn. 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:23.920 What do people think of you when you go home? 0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:26.040 Oh my god, they love us. Oh my god, they 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:28.520 love us. They're like what y'allre? Wow? Like they love me. 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:31.160 They're just like I don't think it's like, oh my god, 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:32.560 they're like in love it. It's just like, oh, they 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:35.640 think it's cool what we've done. Like, especially my family, 0:10:35.720 --> 0:10:38.600 My sisters are my biggest supporters. They send me videos 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:40.760 wearing my hazel gray shirt with me and Lingerie on 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:42.560 the back in the most random places, are like, oh, 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:44.200 I wore your show up to the DMV too. Don't 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:45.719 do the day to the day and like they're my 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:48.360 biggest supporters, So what did this? 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:48.640 Like? 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:50.920 Are you crazy? Are your boyfriends all white? Are they 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:53.880 different colors? Different colors? There? I mean, as of right now, 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:56.760 it's like it's I'm trying to get more chocolate. Man, 0:10:57.000 --> 0:11:00.840 it's harder than one might think it hard. I feel 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:03.600 like I'm high maintenance and I intimidate them. And then also, 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:07.480 like black men have, they're just more difficult for me 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:09.640 because like I don't I'm not okay with I sound 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:11.319 like this. Sometimes I'm not okay with you picking on 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:13.960 me because I sound white and like things like that, right, 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:15.839 Like I just get over those things that I just 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:18.959 like to be able to accept sound white shit. It's 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:24.480 like we just had that conversation, did you we do? Okay? 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:27.199 But but I will say this, a lot of my 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:29.640 homegirls in LA have that valley girls talk, right, But 0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:32.319 I realize it's not the way black girls talk that 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:33.280 bothered black men. 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:36.520 They're almost more bothered than you probably are a white husband. 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:38.599 Did anything I was gonna get on that next. I 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:41.079 was like, so that's one thing, but then also like 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:43.760 they black men have a harder time accepting my lifestyle. 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:47.199 They're very much protective and like you know, they want 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.000 to claim theirs and like, that's okay. It's just when 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:52.080 I mentioned my other boyfriends and stuff like that, they're 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:53.400 not okay with that. And I'm not going to force 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:54.959 you if that's not something you're cool with. But like, 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:58.200 because we and and we skipped over that fact. 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:01.360 There was a funny thing that you said before we started, 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:03.560 why have one when you can have five? YEA, literally 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:06.959 you have multiple boyfriends. They know about each other and 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:10.120 they show up in different ways. So we have nicknames 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.000 for all of our lovers. Here, say, how do they 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:16.560 show up for you that make you fulfilled in the relationships. 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:18.199 That you have with them. Can I just touch on 0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:19.480 what you were saying and get into that at the 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:22.200 same time, because like I find like, why have woman 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:24.960 you can have five? Like every relationship brings something different. 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:27.480 Every relationship is going to provide something different for you 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.439 in your life, whether it be an emotional connection, whether 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:32.240 it be a friendship connection, et cetera. And with black men, 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:34.400 I feel like I'm losing like or I don't have 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:37.440 that relationship right, Like I have a lot of black 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:39.920 men as friends in my life, but it's a different 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:42.200 relationship as a lover where you're just like Pillow talking 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:44.280 about like being a black man and being black, you know, 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:47.920 like pillow talk with someone you talk about shit and yeah, definitely. 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:49.440 And I feel like I'm missing that. I haven't had 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:51.679 that since I was Like an actually funny story when 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:53.959 my my husband first went off for basic training in 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:55.520 his person, like he was gone for like six months, 0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:57.160 nine months to a year. He left me with a 0:12:57.160 --> 0:12:59.280 black man, Like he's like, I want you to take 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:01.280 care of her, make sure she has everything that she needs. 0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:05.040 Blah blah blah blah blah. My white friend a boyfriend 0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:07.559 of mine. He chose him, black dude named Mike. He's like, 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:09.719 take care of her. You know she's gonna be he's 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:11.640 off whatever, and he wanted to make sure that I 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:14.480 was okay with your boyfriend. He chose that one particularly 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:17.719 at the time. Wow, And I miss him so much. 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:20.160 He went off and got celibate and all that other stuff. 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:23.719 But I love the by as a bond of like 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:25.439 having a black man and the pillow talk and the 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:28.080 different conversations than we're gonna have. Because as much as 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:30.000 I love all people and all men like, I don't 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:31.559 get that with white men, they never can. And to 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:33.600 be honest, you do have those moments with white men 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:35.240 where you like, they say something it's like you don't 0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:37.520 even understand how stupid what you just said? Is like 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:39.320 you know what I mean, because like you just they 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:40.480 don't get it right right. 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:43.960 Now telling me one of the craziest things I've heard 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:46.800 gay Uber driver. This was in Atlanta last week. He said, 0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:50.560 we just laughed about how dating sucks. He's like, girl, 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:52.280 I as you I'm a fucking white boys for so 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:53.920 long I might have to jump ship. I was like, 0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:56.240 why he said, was pebls This one made me think 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:57.600 about He said, was Pillow talking with him? 0:13:58.120 --> 0:13:58.520 Wake up? 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:01.120 And he was like, he was always funny, great, He's like, 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.640 and I always thought to myself, I don't have the 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:06.800 racist white boyfriend. He said that they were in the 0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:09.160 bed and he goes, I have the funniest joke I 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:10.920 just heard. He said a girl he was on Twitter 0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:13.400 like couldn't breathe God got laugh and I'm like, what's 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:16.040 the joke? Then they could get to the red light 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:18.160 turns when he goes, how does a black woman know 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:19.000 when she's pregnant? 0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:21.480 Have y'all heard this before? I already don't like the joke. 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:24.200 I haven't heard it, but I already don't like it. 0:14:24.720 --> 0:14:28.400 I never heard the joke. But when she picks the 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.120 cotton out of her pussy, oh there's no blood on it. 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.120 And he was crying laughing at this, So wait, mind you. 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:37.040 I'm sitting there, my mouth is like all our mouths 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:39.120 are like. I was like, what did you say? 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:41.760 And he goes, I said, and how does a white 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:45.240 one know she's pregnant? And then he says his boyfriend saying, 0:14:45.240 --> 0:14:45.920 they're like, well. 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:48.080 That's not the funny of our guys go back. I 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:50.640 was like, yo, whoa, Yeah, I would have had to 0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:52.360 walk out, Like I really would have had to leave it. 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:55.080 It's crazy because he said, and you were saying your 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.400 high school sweethearts. He was like, you have to date 0:14:57.440 --> 0:14:59.920 a white guy so long soone no, he's going. 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:02.840 Can I just say, also, my husband has an appropriate 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:05.080 amount of white guilt, and I refuse to date any 0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:07.000 white person that does not have an appropriate amount of 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:10.760 white yuilt. You need to like you don't be like obviously, 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:12.240 I don't want you to press over some shit your 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:14.880 ancestors did, but you need to like understand and have 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:17.720 a little bit of guilt hilarious and shame and like 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:21.520 appropriate amount what he'd be doing. Let me think, like, well, obviously, 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:23.840 like base level, you need to be calling out when 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:28.120 anybody does some over the top Caucasian or ridiculous shiit aai. 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:30.560 And then on top of that, like he gets uncomfortable, 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:32.680 like I like will like see white people do something 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:35.120 and like just something will happen and like he could 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:39.040 he'll comfortable. He's embarrassed and he's like, bro, why like, 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:40.760 oh god, I can't stand my people. This is why 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:44.120 I don't want to claim them, right, like me, he 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:46.640 has the appropriate amount of white yelt not and I 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:48.720 feel like the appropriate amount of the unappropate amount is 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:50.120 when you step over into it and you really like 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:51.560 it changes who you are and you can't have fun 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:54.160 with it and you're just like like a sadder, depressing 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:56.200 person and like you just go, oh, you know, everything 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:58.040 is sad, everything is right. I don't want to be 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.160 in that person. But at the same time, I to 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:01.800 be able to say when your people are being tore 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:04.080 up and you understand that, like, yes, I am correct. 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:05.640 And I used to know white guys and I'm not 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:07.520 gonna hold you like that was and hate. 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:08.920 And see this was probably why I was like I 0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:10.800 can't do this because I was like, oh my god, 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:13.160 I love that about him, and I'm like, well. 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:15.080 I wouldn't do this all days. I'm like, well, I 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:17.280 love the fact that you're a freedom fighter, like it 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:17.960 was yah. 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:21.800 But at the same time, even with our white friends, right, 0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:23.960 I mean, you'd say you don't have no white friends, 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:26.400 but I got a lot of white friends and they 0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:28.240 all kind of have that vibe, you. 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:28.760 Know what I'm saying. 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:32.040 And it's crazy because like I can only have white 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:35.320 friends in metropolitan city. I'm really thinking, Yeah, you don't 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:35.680 have any. 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:37.440 I mean, I have people that I've worked with that 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:41.360 are great that are white. I mean, I don't you know, 0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:43.160 back in high school I used to have own like 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:46.120 mostly white friends. Now I mostly have like I'm surrounded 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:46.600 by black women. 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:47.960 I was gonna say, I think that comes from to 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:50.560