WEBVTT - Ep29: Whorephobia and Contradictions 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:03.840 If you guys that we have a very very serious announcement. 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:12.640 I'm pregnant, right have boyfriend? Now that's even a bigger joke. No, 0:00:12.960 --> 0:00:18.239 we have a live show, Horrible Decisions coming to you love. Yeah, 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:20.119 we are coming to New York. Well I guess just 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:23.520 you know, taking the train there and so yeah, it 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:25.079 is going to be brought to you by Cast Sound 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:27.640 lab Our Studio right here in Brooklyn, New York, where 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:30.400 we're recording from today. It's going to be me, Mandy, 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:32.680 some of your favorite guests that were on the show 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:34.760 might be there, you know, not going to tell you 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:37.560 it's gonna be super exciting. Guys. Um, you can check 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:41.199 the details out in the description of this episode, and 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:43.800 we will also be posting the link where you can 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:47.479 purchase tickets on our personal instagrams as well as the 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:52.440 Horrible Decisions Instagram that's at Horrible Underscore Decisions for details. So, 0:00:52.479 --> 0:00:54.400 if you have somebody that you want to bring with you, 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:56.360 whether it be your home, rule, because you'll need to 0:00:56.440 --> 0:00:58.040 learn how to suck dick together. I think we should 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:00.560 do a banana like thing. Maybe maybe that just came 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:02.920 to me that we should have a dick st No, no, no, 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:05.120 my mom might come. Your mom is gonna be there 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:07.360 and she knows you start dick, so I think that 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:09.560 would be awesome and I'm excited to see I could 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:11.600 do a good handshop one. Everybody says I could do 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:14.600 a really good hand work. I'm serious. We could, um, 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:16.600 but we wanted to be really interactive. Maybe one of 0:01:16.640 --> 0:01:19.679 you guys we could do a dick sucking context. But 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:22.800 we have a raffle. Mandy's not really for this, but um, 0:01:23.160 --> 0:01:25.440 it's a threesome raffle where you can win a date 0:01:25.480 --> 0:01:27.480 with us. We don't know what might end up happening, 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:30.759 but we will buy you drinks. UM. Again. The details 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.960 will be in the description of this episode as well 0:01:34.000 --> 0:01:37.280 as our social media. So hope to see you guys there. 0:01:39.360 --> 0:01:41.000 So you might not know who this is, but we 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:47.520 don't love us. Yeah. Yeah. You probably hear me play 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:50.200 this all the time, UM on my Instagram and Snap, 0:01:50.280 --> 0:01:56.080 especially when I'm tired of a hope. Maybe sometimes you 0:01:57.000 --> 0:02:07.200 energy cast spells and my cousin that's Princess Nokia. I 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:08.919 don't know if you'll know who that is, but she 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:12.760 is amazing. You've probably seen her videos like reposted. She 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:16.840 talks about like energies and like gentrification. She's just a ship. 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:21.880 So check out her album. It's on iTunes, it's I 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:25.280 follow her on Instagram. She's super cute. I haven't gotten 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:27.880 into her. She's not my type of fourteen bit why 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:33.680 she's just not I have my type of music. She 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:36.240 had a really cool like documentary things that was bombed 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:39.360 where she's from, and she's like a don't shave your 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:41.560 arm pits or like type of I think I saw that. 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:45.760 I was like, I wasn't buying into it. Welcome guys 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:49.480 to horrible decisions. I'm wheezy, and this is your girl, 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:52.119 Mandy B. And we have a great friend of mine 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:56.360 in the house, James. He is he listened to everyone 0:02:56.360 --> 0:02:58.600 where episodes like, I mean, I think that makes me 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:00.959 feel okay. I think I think I have everyone. Yeah, 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:04.080 I'm probably your biggest fan. I guess James will text 0:03:04.080 --> 0:03:05.079 me in the middle of the day and be like, 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:07.160 are you fucking serious? You guys think, but I'm like, 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:11.040 all right, UM. So we brought James on today because 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:13.880 we wanted james perspective on a lot of different topics 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:16.200 that we brought out brought up throughout the show, and 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:18.760 because we're always discussing it. He wanted to put his 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:23.480 input on there. Um, James is a divorced x Christian 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:27.280 pan sexual mail And for our listeners who don't know 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:29.600 what a pan sexual is, do you want to kind 0:03:29.600 --> 0:03:33.480 of touch him on that? Yeah, I mean pan sexuality 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:35.960 is it's you know, some people say bisexual or pan 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:38.320 sexual or the same kind of thing. Pan Sexual is 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:40.480 just a way of saying if you say bisexual, then 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:42.880 you're like saying there are two genders. And that's what 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:45.160 I'm dealing with. Pan Sexual is about saying, my attraction 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:47.920 isn't based on gender, It's based on other things. So 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:51.160 people that are you know, trans or gender nonconforming or 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:54.720 non binary. You know, that's I'm attracted to people not 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:57.520 necessarily gender now, like practically obviously there's a scale, and 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:00.320 I definitely fall more towards the straighter end of things, 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:03.280 but also very attracted to like androgynous people and people 0:04:03.320 --> 0:04:06.880 that are kind of, you know, not fulfilling certain gender roles. 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.640 And the most women that I've seen you attracted to. 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:12.480 It's funny James was showing me the picture of this 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:14.320 girl he was sucking that had like the snake bike 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:18.880 tongue and like very boy girl look. And I was like, well, okay, um, 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:20.839 you know, I'm more of a like Beyonce Rihanna type 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:23.440 of loving health. I have a question actually about that. 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:26.840 So I have a He's oll referred him as an 0:04:26.839 --> 0:04:30.400 associate we speak, but he's pan sexual and he just 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:34.920 got divorced from a transgender woman. Um, but he also 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:38.799 dates women in his personal life, but does gay porn, 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:43.320 so with that, so he is into kind of and 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:47.840 he described it to me as he doesn't attach himself 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:50.400 to any specific gender. So if he likes a male, 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:54.320 a female, a transgender, he just likes a person as 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:57.440 a person. Is that kind of okay? That's that's a 0:04:57.440 --> 0:04:59.360 good way to describe it, because it's about, you know, 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:02.080 interacting with a person, like I can recognize that my 0:05:02.279 --> 0:05:06.240 you know, my tendencies and my likes skew towards a 0:05:06.240 --> 0:05:09.120 certain thing, but like that doesn't when you're interacting with 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:11.359 people and dealing with people in relationships, like there's always 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:13.480 gonna be more things going on than that, and more 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:16.800 things you're attracted to than you know, somebody's gender. So 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:19.039 is it more of an emotional connection and not a 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:22.800 sexual connection? Because with sexuality, aren't you turned on by 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:28.440 certain you know most of them? But if you're talking 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:30.920 about a relationship that you're gonna have with someone, that's 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:35.400 it's a combination of sexual and emotional and friendship things, okay, 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:38.480 and like it's not necessarily going to be just about sex. 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:42.120 And I think I'm more bisexual because I I know, 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:45.000 I like a girl for being a girl more than 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:48.320 I like feel people out, Like when I see you 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:50.839 women like I recognize them for being sexy women or 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:53.400 sexy men. It's this very divided thing where I think 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:55.640 the way I've heard pan sexual people describe it, it's like, 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:58.160 oh wow, I really their energy or they had this 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:00.880 that was sexy about them, Like, no talk about them 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:04.719 like their gender. Okay, So when you date, I hate 0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:06.760 that we're already hopping into the interview here. I didn't 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:10.320 mean to. But when you date, how do you identify 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:13.440 to someone? You said you lean towards more women. Now, 0:06:13.480 --> 0:06:16.080 some women would possibly have an issue with you saying, 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:18.320 but I've also been attracted to men. How do you 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:20.360 come forth in the dating serie? How what happens now? 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:23.120 Because you're newly dating your recently yea, how do you 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:25.840 explain that to someone. I kind of don't, first of all, 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.920 because like goes you know further. But I mean I 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:31.480 wouldn't really be seriously interested in someone if they had 0:06:31.480 --> 0:06:34.160 an issue with dating a guy that has been with 0:06:34.200 --> 0:06:37.680 guys like that would be agree yes, like uh, you know, 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:39.200 a deal breaker right there to begin with. I mean, 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:42.360 I don't think I would really, honestly even probably want 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:44.360 to be in a serious relationship with a straight woman, 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:46.640 with a woman that wasn't like at least a little 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:50.640 bit really why, Um, I don't know, first of all, 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:54.320 because I would feel weird like she would. And also 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:56.240 I'm just you know, like, what do you think about 0:06:56.279 --> 0:06:57.800 when you know you watched Insecure? What do you think 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:00.320 when you saw Molly trip over the diving by. I mean, 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:03.039 I feel like that's that's just like homophobia, like your 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:07.280 your prejudice against you think it's because you want to 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:09.800 have masculinity conversation. Okay, Yeah, we're definitely gonna have a 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:11.400 great conversation. Do you want to get into the Kick 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:14.640 of the Week. Yeah, so awesome. James is here, Um, 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:16.400 because we went to meadows or whatever, so all I 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:18.920 wanted to do with the future and I'm like, Damn, 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:20.960 I don't know who's getting enough to go see I 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:22.840 know you would, but I don't know if you want 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:24.200 to go to like a whole day thing. Yeah. I 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:26.800 don't like festivals or outfit and things like we went 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:29.840 to UM. I went to Made in America last year 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:32.720 with my friend and we had free tickets and everything. 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:34.640 Of course I like Jake Cole, so we watched Big 0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:37.880 Sean j Cole by the time Beyonce. I think we 0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:40.960 actually love to watch Beyonce on titled because we was 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:43.880 just so tired. Was like, I don't know and listen. 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:46.520 We were even like in the like duck all part 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:48.600 of the statue area. If you've been to Made in America, 0:07:48.600 --> 0:07:50.440 you know there's a statue where they put like all 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:53.880 the guests and stuff. And me, me and my friend 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:55.960 looked at each other like are you ready to And 0:07:56.600 --> 0:07:58.720 we have done I don't know how many festivals we've 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:04.679 all done together, but who traveled for festivals together? All 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:07.680 of us and took a lot. James is one on 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:10.760 one next week in Atlanta. But I was gonna say 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:13.120 one thing I know that you and I can both appreciate, 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.119 which is the difference between friends that I would invite 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:17.560 to festivals or concerts. I can listen to music that 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:20.200 I don't know and I'll be all right. And I 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:22.920 like hearing newer music like there was when there's some 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:25.000 weirder bands or ship like that. I like finding newer 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:27.400 music at festivals, oppost even clicking on it on Apple 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:29.600 I'm like, okay, this is live. I like the vibe 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:32.480 um anyway. So while he's been here, we were sitting 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:33.880 down trying to think of a kink of the week, 0:08:33.920 --> 0:08:36.079 and I came across this one while we were in Romen. 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:41.600 It's called frauderism, and it is a paraphilic interest in rubbing, 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:45.439 usually one's pelvic area or a wreck penis, against a 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:49.840 non consenting person for sexual pleasure. It may involve touching 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:52.480 any part of the body, including genital area. Have you 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:56.400 that you have rubbed yourself up against a guy that 0:08:56.520 --> 0:09:01.120 didn't want you to. I'm mean I dry hump like 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:05.599 all of my friends, somewhat non consenting bro, that's like 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:07.920 a non consenting stranger. It's a very specific. I've done 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:11.079 it well. I think you know what's crazy. This actually 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:14.640 reminds me of If you live in New York, there 0:09:14.840 --> 0:09:18.440 is a message that goes off in the subway or 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:22.480 actually there's a sign that says, well not only that, 0:09:22.559 --> 0:09:25.400 Like you know, just because it's tight in the train, 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:29.640 it doesn't give a person that, you know, sexual whatever. 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:33.160 Think about that in the train, Like I felt a 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:34.960 hard dick on my butt before, and it's like, I 0:09:34.960 --> 0:09:36.959 know it's packed, I know we're scrunched there, but this 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:38.920 is making me feel uncomfortable to where I've had to 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:42.440 put my purse behind me and I know that guy. Yeah, bro, 0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:46.160 Like there's definitely guys on the train, And now that 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:48.000 I know it's a fetish, now I'm really gonna be 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:50.600 covering my ass on the train. When you remember when 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:52.560 I was coming here to the studio with my mom 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:55.079 and the train moved quick and I grabbed the guy's 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:58.720 dick instead of said yeah, so like I was literally 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:01.160 about a fault. I was leaning against the where they 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:03.439 say don't lean against the sliding doors, don't lean against 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:06.360 the door, but they reopened it before I felt I 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:08.000 just wanted to grab anything, and I thought I was 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:09.880 going to grab his bell or sure, but I grabbed 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:12.960 his dick and I held on so terrible my mom 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:16.079 complain about it. He like looked really offered and laughed 0:10:16.080 --> 0:10:21.839 and then my mom goes, oh, I'm her mother. She's sorry. What. Um, so, James, 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:24.319 have you done that? Is that something that? No? No, 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:27.880 that's yeah, that's a kink. I don't think is I 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:30.120 mean like, I've been at concerts where it's really packed 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:31.880 and you know, girls have to walk by and rub 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:34.520 the boobs against me. But that's not my I'm intentionally 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:36.600 in a bar though, rubbed my chest against somebody, but 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:39.560 someone that you may have thought was hot. But it 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:41.719 didn't arouse you to do that, right, You just did 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:44.600 it just to do what I turn me on. Really yep, 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:50.200 so let's get about me. So actually, um yeah, so 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:56.160 James has a quick story about are we just you 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:59.000 like skip the home mail and ship. I'm just like, okay, 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:01.480 because kind of goes with the kinke of the week. 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:07.439 Actually at least it doesn't. Yes, I'm not going to 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:09.400 tell the story at all, dude, Okay, No, he really 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:11.559 wanted to bring it up because it's consent. There was 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:15.720 clear consent in this story. Alright, fine, argumentative, but he 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:19.120 knows in this story, James noticed that there's a trend 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:21.160 in our shows where we talk about p a lot, 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:24.600 and so you always ask we have mentioned, well, you 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:28.439 know what, what's crazy? Sometimes we haven't brought it up. 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:32.120 So even when we had Jada nexton, he's like he 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.840 he pissed in someone's mouth, and I'm just like, okay, 0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:37.880 here we go and piss again. Like I mean, we've 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:41.559 an episode and she's like I said something about that. 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:43.480 She's like, we have to stop talking about Like we 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:45.920 have to stop bringing it up. It's not gonna happen. 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.679 And then for a while, toes and feet were a thing. 0:11:52.720 --> 0:11:55.239 I'm just like, can we not bring this up every episode? 0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:57.880 Jesus Christ, everyone's gonna think we have feet fetish that 0:11:57.920 --> 0:11:59.839 we don't and piss fetishes. I just love hearing that 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:02.920 nigg is be really doing patient Like it's just it's like, 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:06.079 let's just open up the doors, okay. Like like, so 0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:08.680 my story this takes place around Halloween, I think a 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:11.720 couple of years ago. Um, but I was at a 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:15.280 party and um, this girl that I had been seeing 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:17.720 a little bit before texted me and said that she 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:21.120 was downtown and she said, if you want to take 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:22.720 me home, I'll willingly go home with you. And I 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:24.920 was like, okay, that sounds good. So I go to 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:26.240 pick her up, and I was already kind of a 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.320 little bit drunk from the party. And we get together 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:29.600 and I'm with her friends and I can see she's 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:30.920 like kind of drunk, and they're like, no, you should 0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:32.400 come home with us, and she's like, no, I'm going. 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:34.120 So we went and I took her home. We're like 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:36.680 fooling around on the way back, and and then you know, 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:38.240 we're kind of messing around in the room and she's 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:39.959 like pretty much naked, and she runs out of my 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:41.560 room and I live with other people, so she throws 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:43.480 out into the thing, just naked into the bathroom and 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:44.920 I'm like, this is fine, it's like two in the 0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:47.880 morning whatever. And then she comes back and then as 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:50.320 we're having sex, I can see she's like a little 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:53.800 more drunk than maybe she should be. And then I realized, 0:12:53.840 --> 0:13:00.240 oh shit, she is not Now did you come? I mean, yeah, 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.520 I was. It was close to that point already. She 0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:06.560 was not conscious, I guess at that point, but I 0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:10.320 mean she was conscious when we started, but once she did, 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:12.319 I mean, what do you think do you think Manny 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:15.599 that if you are are you agreed to it? But 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:20.120 then fall asleep. Is that consent? I mean, I didn't 0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:23.760 like I think it was like you you already say it. 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:28.560 Actually I think it is. I mean it's a gray area. 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:31.880 I didn't feel great about it. But she was enthusiastically 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:34.280 consenting up until the point where she just went to 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:38.320 sleep or was She said she was wasted. That's not consent. 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:42.520 It's not consent. And I'll say it's because I've had 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:46.480 a similar situation where I may be really flirty with 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:48.880 somebody and say, oh my god, did it out of 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:51.720 me being drunk? Of it? If I if I passed out, 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:55.000 don't touch me, bro. But no, this is what I'm saying. 0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:56.880 They were awake when they were we had This was 0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:59.200 not the first time we had sex either. This is 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:01.760 we've had x before. She called me, told me she 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:04.360 wanted to come. She was completely conscious, just drunk. We 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:06.480 were making happy stuff, and then we're having sex. She 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:09.480 was completely wake while we're in the middle of having sex, 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:15.200 which isn't like a great thing. That's an ego, like 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:21.040 Jesus Christ. No, because here's what I gotta tell. I 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:23.600 gotta tell the rest of this story. So we fall 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:27.000 asleep whatever you know. The next morning, she wakes up, like, 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:29.320 gets out of bed really quickly, like grabs her stuff 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:32.720 and seems kind of like a little flustered. Then walk 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:34.680 goes out to have a cigarette and I walked outside 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:39.320 and she's like, dude, we have sex last night. Yep. 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:43.400 And I take her home, go back to my place, 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:45.400 and then I like sit on my bed and I'm like, 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:50.120 wait a minute, what's why is this wet? And I'm like, wait, 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:54.960 this is really wet. I'm like, that bitch pete in 0:14:55.000 --> 0:15:00.280 my bed. Let me hasty. Because we had us story, 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:03.400 you have to smell it to confirm. Well, that was 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:04.760 part of the thing. I was like, what does that smell? 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:06.360 And then I felt my bed and so did you 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:08.680 tell her? Hey, you pissed in my bed? How did 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:15.080 that conversation? That's what I said, question? Yeah, I think so, Yeah, No, 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:17.320 I didn't tell her. You didn't tell her that she 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:19.200 pet in your bed? No, Like, what is she going to? 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:22.640 Oh the guy I never wrote her and she never 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:25.960 wrote him? Is that what you never called her back? Yeah? 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:30.440 Kind of wow, missed three weeks ago, so this is 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:32.720 not even the end of the story. So I get back. 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:36.760 I had a date that night with another girl, and 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:40.040 so I'm like trying to dry it out. I got 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:43.240 like paper towels the target and buy a ship ton 0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:46.480 of a breeze and all this ship. That's when I've 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:48.760 got a fan blowing on it. That's what you just 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:52.840 tell her. You like couch sex, and I tried. I 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:56.600 tried to her on the floor, and I mean, I 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.200 like sex on the floor. But anyway, so I'm trying 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:05.360 to do it on the edge of the bed. She 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:08.600 felt that the story and I said, oh, oh yeah, 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:12.440 I spilled a glass of water. I thought it was 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:20.800 daft another vision. Bed, Oh god, that's bad. Um, so, yeah, 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:22.800 that wasn't the horrible decision. We are not trying to 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:24.440 make it about pe every week, but that was my 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:28.760 horrible decision. That was pretty good, Bed, that's a pretty 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:35.080 horrible She didn't have consent there, she did so fucking 0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:38.800 on someone else's miss. I agree. So the horrible decision 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:42.400 this week is married marital dating. I was about to say, 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:44.840 Mary a dating, I'm sorry we've went out last night. 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:50.280 Uh yeah, So married dating came up because, um, James 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:53.080 used to be married. I wanted to date within his marriage. 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:56.400 Mandy talks about dating married men and I just wanted 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:58.800 to bring you two together and discuss it because you've 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:02.120 got someone who's married, but more honest, the guys that 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.280 you're dating that are married, are they honest with their 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:08.439 Wife're not honest with their wives? Now, mother, Um, so 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:11.040 let's talk about monogamy in your relationship. So your marriage 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:13.480 didn't work out. What when did you realize you didn't 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:18.359 want to be monogamous? Um? Probably pretty early on. But 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:21.320 I think the issue really was I was coming from 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:25.920 this background of a very conservative religious, evangelical Christian home, 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:29.240 So everything I was taught when I was younger was that, 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:32.639 you know, um, women basically women don't really enjoy sex 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:35.240 so and men do. So that women only enjoy like 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:37.720 their recreation part of it, you know, or they should 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:39.399 if they do enjoy sex, and there's something wrong with 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:41.919 them basically, or they can only enjoy it in marriage. 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:43.760 And even then they kind of started believing that ship 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:46.000 more recently because they're influenced by like the feminist and 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:48.280 pro sex movement. That's the thing of a female enjoy 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:50.440 sex and they look at her like you're a man eater, 0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:55.280 You're you think like a nigger, you like. For that reason, 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:57.200 it was I was always taught that for men to 0:17:57.320 --> 0:17:59.280 want sex with a woman outside of a of a 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:01.920 married relationship is a really wrong thing, and you're doing 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:04.399 a horrible thing to that woman, even if she seems 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:07.520 like she's enjoys it, or she actually when you wanted 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:09.520 to be non monogamous, is it because because I know 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:11.040 you love your wife, I've heard you talk to talk 0:18:11.040 --> 0:18:14.320 about her in that way. What why did you want 0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:16.240 to start sleeping with um? I don't know. To me, 0:18:17.480 --> 0:18:19.760 the thing, like how I would describe it is that 0:18:19.800 --> 0:18:24.440 to me, sex and relationships and friendships are not They're 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:27.480 all kind of equal things. Like you could have I 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:29.600 could have a sexual relationship with someone that I was 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:32.199 friends with and not romantic with, or and I have 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:35.159 had that, or I've had sexual relationships you know that 0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:37.199 I don't have a friendship with this person at all, 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:38.439 like I only want to have sex with them and 0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:40.960 absolutely see them otherwise. Or you know, you can have 0:18:41.000 --> 0:18:42.800 someone that you're really close and you have all those 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:45.199 three things with, but that doesn't mean even if you 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:47.000 have that someone that you're a really close friend with, 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:49.080 it you really love, you really love having sex with 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:51.159 them a lot. That doesn't mean you're never gonna want 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:53.080 to have sex with someone else, or if you do, 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:55.439 then that negates anything you have with when you had 0:18:55.520 --> 0:18:59.879 those feelings being in that crazy religious Sorry it's sucking nuts. H. 0:19:00.920 --> 0:19:03.000 Did you think, Okay, I don't love do I want 0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:05.840 to leave my wife too? Was there ever that I never? 0:19:06.160 --> 0:19:08.320 I never felt like that. I always you know, loved her. 0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:10.119 I wanted to stay with her, I wanted to be 0:19:10.160 --> 0:19:11.919 with her. That was never what I was questioning. I 0:19:12.000 --> 0:19:14.680 just wanted to, um, you know, be with other people, 0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:16.199 and I wanted her to be with other people. And 0:19:16.359 --> 0:19:18.359 really mostly what it was about I think was just 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:22.119 she was so like jealous and possessive and insecure about me. 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:24.080 Like if I ever like like I was never like 0:19:24.119 --> 0:19:26.280 flirtatious or anything. I didn't even really have like other 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:28.480 like female friends or anything that was close with at all. 0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:30.439 But like if I would ever even like look at 0:19:30.480 --> 0:19:32.600 something or make any kind of comment about any woman 0:19:32.600 --> 0:19:35.000 looking attractive or whatever, like it would set her off. 0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:37.159 Do you think that women can drive their men to 0:19:37.240 --> 0:19:41.840 other women by doing that? Um, I mean women can 0:19:41.920 --> 0:19:44.240 create a bad relationship and which will make more likely 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:46.479 for men to go out. But I don't think that's 0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:47.800 what it is. I mean, she didn't drive me to 0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:49.280 do that and I was never close to doing that. 0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:55.240 So like, and see how he can dad relationships. That's 0:19:55.240 --> 0:19:57.880 a great and how he explained his relationship. And men 0:19:57.920 --> 0:20:00.360 will always blame women like, oh you did this, just 0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:02.200 just just that made me do it, Like you can 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:05.120