Speaker 1: If you guys that we have a very very serious announcement.
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant, right have boyfriend? Now that's even a bigger joke. No,
Speaker 1: we have a live show, Horrible Decisions coming to you love. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we are coming to New York. Well I guess just
Speaker 1: you know, taking the train there and so yeah, it
Speaker 1: is going to be brought to you by Cast Sound
Speaker 1: lab Our Studio right here in Brooklyn, New York, where
Speaker 1: we're recording from today. It's going to be me, Mandy,
Speaker 1: some of your favorite guests that were on the show
Speaker 1: might be there, you know, not going to tell you
Speaker 1: it's gonna be super exciting. Guys. Um, you can check
Speaker 1: the details out in the description of this episode, and
Speaker 1: we will also be posting the link where you can
Speaker 1: purchase tickets on our personal instagrams as well as the
Speaker 1: Horrible Decisions Instagram that's at Horrible Underscore Decisions for details. So,
Speaker 1: if you have somebody that you want to bring with you,
Speaker 1: whether it be your home, rule, because you'll need to
Speaker 1: learn how to suck dick together. I think we should
Speaker 1: do a banana like thing. Maybe maybe that just came
Speaker 1: to me that we should have a dick st No, no, no,
Speaker 1: my mom might come. Your mom is gonna be there
Speaker 1: and she knows you start dick, so I think that
Speaker 1: would be awesome and I'm excited to see I could
Speaker 1: do a good handshop one. Everybody says I could do
Speaker 1: a really good hand work. I'm serious. We could, um,
Speaker 1: but we wanted to be really interactive. Maybe one of
Speaker 1: you guys we could do a dick sucking context. But
Speaker 1: we have a raffle. Mandy's not really for this, but um,
Speaker 1: it's a threesome raffle where you can win a date
Speaker 1: with us. We don't know what might end up happening,
Speaker 1: but we will buy you drinks. UM. Again. The details
Speaker 1: will be in the description of this episode as well
Speaker 1: as our social media. So hope to see you guys there.
Speaker 1: So you might not know who this is, but we
Speaker 1: don't love us. Yeah. Yeah. You probably hear me play
Speaker 1: this all the time, UM on my Instagram and Snap,
Speaker 1: especially when I'm tired of a hope. Maybe sometimes you
Speaker 1: energy cast spells and my cousin that's Princess Nokia. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you'll know who that is, but she
Speaker 1: is amazing. You've probably seen her videos like reposted. She
Speaker 1: talks about like energies and like gentrification. She's just a ship.
Speaker 1: So check out her album. It's on iTunes, it's I
Speaker 1: follow her on Instagram. She's super cute. I haven't gotten
Speaker 1: into her. She's not my type of fourteen bit why
Speaker 1: she's just not I have my type of music. She
Speaker 1: had a really cool like documentary things that was bombed
Speaker 1: where she's from, and she's like a don't shave your
Speaker 1: arm pits or like type of I think I saw that.
Speaker 1: I was like, I wasn't buying into it. Welcome guys
Speaker 1: to horrible decisions. I'm wheezy, and this is your girl,
Speaker 1: Mandy B. And we have a great friend of mine
Speaker 1: in the house, James. He is he listened to everyone
Speaker 1: where episodes like, I mean, I think that makes me
Speaker 1: feel okay. I think I think I have everyone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm probably your biggest fan. I guess James will text
Speaker 1: me in the middle of the day and be like,
Speaker 1: are you fucking serious? You guys think, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, UM. So we brought James on today because
Speaker 1: we wanted james perspective on a lot of different topics
Speaker 1: that we brought out brought up throughout the show, and
Speaker 1: because we're always discussing it. He wanted to put his
Speaker 1: input on there. Um, James is a divorced x Christian
Speaker 1: pan sexual mail And for our listeners who don't know
Speaker 1: what a pan sexual is, do you want to kind
Speaker 1: of touch him on that? Yeah, I mean pan sexuality
Speaker 1: is it's you know, some people say bisexual or pan
Speaker 1: sexual or the same kind of thing. Pan Sexual is
Speaker 1: just a way of saying if you say bisexual, then
Speaker 1: you're like saying there are two genders. And that's what
Speaker 1: I'm dealing with. Pan Sexual is about saying, my attraction
Speaker 1: isn't based on gender, It's based on other things. So
Speaker 1: people that are you know, trans or gender nonconforming or
Speaker 1: non binary. You know, that's I'm attracted to people not
Speaker 1: necessarily gender now, like practically obviously there's a scale, and
Speaker 1: I definitely fall more towards the straighter end of things,
Speaker 1: but also very attracted to like androgynous people and people
Speaker 1: that are kind of, you know, not fulfilling certain gender roles.
Speaker 1: And the most women that I've seen you attracted to.
Speaker 1: It's funny James was showing me the picture of this
Speaker 1: girl he was sucking that had like the snake bike
Speaker 1: tongue and like very boy girl look. And I was like, well, okay, um,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm more of a like Beyonce Rihanna type
Speaker 1: of loving health. I have a question actually about that.
Speaker 1: So I have a He's oll referred him as an
Speaker 1: associate we speak, but he's pan sexual and he just
Speaker 1: got divorced from a transgender woman. Um, but he also
Speaker 1: dates women in his personal life, but does gay porn,
Speaker 1: so with that, so he is into kind of and
Speaker 1: he described it to me as he doesn't attach himself
Speaker 1: to any specific gender. So if he likes a male,
Speaker 1: a female, a transgender, he just likes a person as
Speaker 1: a person. Is that kind of okay? That's that's a
Speaker 1: good way to describe it, because it's about, you know,
Speaker 1: interacting with a person, like I can recognize that my
Speaker 1: you know, my tendencies and my likes skew towards a
Speaker 1: certain thing, but like that doesn't when you're interacting with
Speaker 1: people and dealing with people in relationships, like there's always
Speaker 1: gonna be more things going on than that, and more
Speaker 1: things you're attracted to than you know, somebody's gender. So
Speaker 1: is it more of an emotional connection and not a
Speaker 1: sexual connection? Because with sexuality, aren't you turned on by
Speaker 1: certain you know most of them? But if you're talking
Speaker 1: about a relationship that you're gonna have with someone, that's
Speaker 1: it's a combination of sexual and emotional and friendship things, okay,
Speaker 1: and like it's not necessarily going to be just about sex.
Speaker 1: And I think I'm more bisexual because I I know,
Speaker 1: I like a girl for being a girl more than
Speaker 1: I like feel people out, Like when I see you
Speaker 1: women like I recognize them for being sexy women or
Speaker 1: sexy men. It's this very divided thing where I think
Speaker 1: the way I've heard pan sexual people describe it, it's like,
Speaker 1: oh wow, I really their energy or they had this
Speaker 1: that was sexy about them, Like, no talk about them
Speaker 1: like their gender. Okay, So when you date, I hate
Speaker 1: that we're already hopping into the interview here. I didn't
Speaker 1: mean to. But when you date, how do you identify
Speaker 1: to someone? You said you lean towards more women. Now,
Speaker 1: some women would possibly have an issue with you saying,
Speaker 1: but I've also been attracted to men. How do you
Speaker 1: come forth in the dating serie? How what happens now?
Speaker 1: Because you're newly dating your recently yea, how do you
Speaker 1: explain that to someone. I kind of don't, first of all,
Speaker 1: because like goes you know further. But I mean I
Speaker 1: wouldn't really be seriously interested in someone if they had
Speaker 1: an issue with dating a guy that has been with
Speaker 1: guys like that would be agree yes, like uh, you know,
Speaker 1: a deal breaker right there to begin with. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't think I would really, honestly even probably want
Speaker 1: to be in a serious relationship with a straight woman,
Speaker 1: with a woman that wasn't like at least a little
Speaker 1: bit really why, Um, I don't know, first of all,
Speaker 1: because I would feel weird like she would. And also
Speaker 1: I'm just you know, like, what do you think about
Speaker 1: when you know you watched Insecure? What do you think
Speaker 1: when you saw Molly trip over the diving by. I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's that's just like homophobia, like your
Speaker 1: your prejudice against you think it's because you want to
Speaker 1: have masculinity conversation. Okay, Yeah, we're definitely gonna have a
Speaker 1: great conversation. Do you want to get into the Kick
Speaker 1: of the Week. Yeah, so awesome. James is here, Um,
Speaker 1: because we went to meadows or whatever, so all I
Speaker 1: wanted to do with the future and I'm like, Damn,
Speaker 1: I don't know who's getting enough to go see I
Speaker 1: know you would, but I don't know if you want
Speaker 1: to go to like a whole day thing. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: don't like festivals or outfit and things like we went
Speaker 1: to UM. I went to Made in America last year
Speaker 1: with my friend and we had free tickets and everything.
Speaker 1: Of course I like Jake Cole, so we watched Big
Speaker 1: Sean j Cole by the time Beyonce. I think we
Speaker 1: actually love to watch Beyonce on titled because we was
Speaker 1: just so tired. Was like, I don't know and listen.
Speaker 1: We were even like in the like duck all part
Speaker 1: of the statue area. If you've been to Made in America,
Speaker 1: you know there's a statue where they put like all
Speaker 1: the guests and stuff. And me, me and my friend
Speaker 1: looked at each other like are you ready to And
Speaker 1: we have done I don't know how many festivals we've
Speaker 1: all done together, but who traveled for festivals together? All
Speaker 1: of us and took a lot. James is one on
Speaker 1: one next week in Atlanta. But I was gonna say
Speaker 1: one thing I know that you and I can both appreciate,
Speaker 1: which is the difference between friends that I would invite
Speaker 1: to festivals or concerts. I can listen to music that
Speaker 1: I don't know and I'll be all right. And I
Speaker 1: like hearing newer music like there was when there's some
Speaker 1: weirder bands or ship like that. I like finding newer
Speaker 1: music at festivals, oppost even clicking on it on Apple
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, this is live. I like the vibe
Speaker 1: um anyway. So while he's been here, we were sitting
Speaker 1: down trying to think of a kink of the week,
Speaker 1: and I came across this one while we were in Romen.
Speaker 1: It's called frauderism, and it is a paraphilic interest in rubbing,
Speaker 1: usually one's pelvic area or a wreck penis, against a
Speaker 1: non consenting person for sexual pleasure. It may involve touching
Speaker 1: any part of the body, including genital area. Have you
Speaker 1: that you have rubbed yourself up against a guy that
Speaker 1: didn't want you to. I'm mean I dry hump like
Speaker 1: all of my friends, somewhat non consenting bro, that's like
Speaker 1: a non consenting stranger. It's a very specific. I've done
Speaker 1: it well. I think you know what's crazy. This actually
Speaker 1: reminds me of If you live in New York, there
Speaker 1: is a message that goes off in the subway or
Speaker 1: actually there's a sign that says, well not only that,
Speaker 1: Like you know, just because it's tight in the train,
Speaker 1: it doesn't give a person that, you know, sexual whatever.
Speaker 1: Think about that in the train, Like I felt a
Speaker 1: hard dick on my butt before, and it's like, I
Speaker 1: know it's packed, I know we're scrunched there, but this
Speaker 1: is making me feel uncomfortable to where I've had to
Speaker 1: put my purse behind me and I know that guy. Yeah, bro,
Speaker 1: Like there's definitely guys on the train, And now that
Speaker 1: I know it's a fetish, now I'm really gonna be
Speaker 1: covering my ass on the train. When you remember when
Speaker 1: I was coming here to the studio with my mom
Speaker 1: and the train moved quick and I grabbed the guy's
Speaker 1: dick instead of said yeah, so like I was literally
Speaker 1: about a fault. I was leaning against the where they
Speaker 1: say don't lean against the sliding doors, don't lean against
Speaker 1: the door, but they reopened it before I felt I
Speaker 1: just wanted to grab anything, and I thought I was
Speaker 1: going to grab his bell or sure, but I grabbed
Speaker 1: his dick and I held on so terrible my mom
Speaker 1: complain about it. He like looked really offered and laughed
Speaker 1: and then my mom goes, oh, I'm her mother. She's sorry. What. Um, so, James,
Speaker 1: have you done that? Is that something that? No? No,
Speaker 1: that's yeah, that's a kink. I don't think is I
Speaker 1: mean like, I've been at concerts where it's really packed
Speaker 1: and you know, girls have to walk by and rub
Speaker 1: the boobs against me. But that's not my I'm intentionally
Speaker 1: in a bar though, rubbed my chest against somebody, but
Speaker 1: someone that you may have thought was hot. But it
Speaker 1: didn't arouse you to do that, right, You just did
Speaker 1: it just to do what I turn me on. Really yep,
Speaker 1: so let's get about me. So actually, um yeah, so
Speaker 1: James has a quick story about are we just you
Speaker 1: like skip the home mail and ship. I'm just like, okay,
Speaker 1: because kind of goes with the kinke of the week.
Speaker 1: Actually at least it doesn't. Yes, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: tell the story at all, dude, Okay, No, he really
Speaker 1: wanted to bring it up because it's consent. There was
Speaker 1: clear consent in this story. Alright, fine, argumentative, but he
Speaker 1: knows in this story, James noticed that there's a trend
Speaker 1: in our shows where we talk about p a lot,
Speaker 1: and so you always ask we have mentioned, well, you
Speaker 1: know what, what's crazy? Sometimes we haven't brought it up.
Speaker 1: So even when we had Jada nexton, he's like he
Speaker 1: he pissed in someone's mouth, and I'm just like, okay,
Speaker 1: here we go and piss again. Like I mean, we've
Speaker 1: an episode and she's like I said something about that.
Speaker 1: She's like, we have to stop talking about Like we
Speaker 1: have to stop bringing it up. It's not gonna happen.
Speaker 1: And then for a while, toes and feet were a thing.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, can we not bring this up every episode?
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, everyone's gonna think we have feet fetish that
Speaker 1: we don't and piss fetishes. I just love hearing that
Speaker 1: nigg is be really doing patient Like it's just it's like,
Speaker 1: let's just open up the doors, okay. Like like, so
Speaker 1: my story this takes place around Halloween, I think a
Speaker 1: couple of years ago. Um, but I was at a
Speaker 1: party and um, this girl that I had been seeing
Speaker 1: a little bit before texted me and said that she
Speaker 1: was downtown and she said, if you want to take
Speaker 1: me home, I'll willingly go home with you. And I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, that sounds good. So I go to
Speaker 1: pick her up, and I was already kind of a
Speaker 1: little bit drunk from the party. And we get together
Speaker 1: and I'm with her friends and I can see she's
Speaker 1: like kind of drunk, and they're like, no, you should
Speaker 1: come home with us, and she's like, no, I'm going.
Speaker 1: So we went and I took her home. We're like
Speaker 1: fooling around on the way back, and and then you know,
Speaker 1: we're kind of messing around in the room and she's
Speaker 1: like pretty much naked, and she runs out of my
Speaker 1: room and I live with other people, so she throws
Speaker 1: out into the thing, just naked into the bathroom and
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is fine, it's like two in the
Speaker 1: morning whatever. And then she comes back and then as
Speaker 1: we're having sex, I can see she's like a little
Speaker 1: more drunk than maybe she should be. And then I realized,
Speaker 1: oh shit, she is not Now did you come? I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was. It was close to that point already. She
Speaker 1: was not conscious, I guess at that point, but I
Speaker 1: mean she was conscious when we started, but once she did,
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you think do you think Manny
Speaker 1: that if you are are you agreed to it? But
Speaker 1: then fall asleep. Is that consent? I mean, I didn't
Speaker 1: like I think it was like you you already say it.
Speaker 1: Actually I think it is. I mean it's a gray area.
Speaker 1: I didn't feel great about it. But she was enthusiastically
Speaker 1: consenting up until the point where she just went to
Speaker 1: sleep or was She said she was wasted. That's not consent.
Speaker 1: It's not consent. And I'll say it's because I've had
Speaker 1: a similar situation where I may be really flirty with
Speaker 1: somebody and say, oh my god, did it out of
Speaker 1: me being drunk? Of it? If I if I passed out,
Speaker 1: don't touch me, bro. But no, this is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: They were awake when they were we had This was
Speaker 1: not the first time we had sex either. This is
Speaker 1: we've had x before. She called me, told me she
Speaker 1: wanted to come. She was completely conscious, just drunk. We
Speaker 1: were making happy stuff, and then we're having sex. She
Speaker 1: was completely wake while we're in the middle of having sex,
Speaker 1: which isn't like a great thing. That's an ego, like
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. No, because here's what I gotta tell. I
Speaker 1: gotta tell the rest of this story. So we fall
Speaker 1: asleep whatever you know. The next morning, she wakes up, like,
Speaker 1: gets out of bed really quickly, like grabs her stuff
Speaker 1: and seems kind of like a little flustered. Then walk
Speaker 1: goes out to have a cigarette and I walked outside
Speaker 1: and she's like, dude, we have sex last night. Yep.
Speaker 1: And I take her home, go back to my place,
Speaker 1: and then I like sit on my bed and I'm like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, what's why is this wet? And I'm like, wait,
Speaker 1: this is really wet. I'm like, that bitch pete in
Speaker 1: my bed. Let me hasty. Because we had us story,
Speaker 1: you have to smell it to confirm. Well, that was
Speaker 1: part of the thing. I was like, what does that smell?
Speaker 1: And then I felt my bed and so did you
Speaker 1: tell her? Hey, you pissed in my bed? How did
Speaker 1: that conversation? That's what I said, question? Yeah, I think so, Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I didn't tell her. You didn't tell her that she
Speaker 1: pet in your bed? No, Like, what is she going to?
Speaker 1: Oh the guy I never wrote her and she never
Speaker 1: wrote him? Is that what you never called her back? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Kind of wow, missed three weeks ago, so this is
Speaker 1: not even the end of the story. So I get back.
Speaker 1: I had a date that night with another girl, and
Speaker 1: so I'm like trying to dry it out. I got
Speaker 1: like paper towels the target and buy a ship ton
Speaker 1: of a breeze and all this ship. That's when I've
Speaker 1: got a fan blowing on it. That's what you just
Speaker 1: tell her. You like couch sex, and I tried. I
Speaker 1: tried to her on the floor, and I mean, I
Speaker 1: like sex on the floor. But anyway, so I'm trying
Speaker 1: to do it on the edge of the bed. She
Speaker 1: felt that the story and I said, oh, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I spilled a glass of water. I thought it was
Speaker 1: daft another vision. Bed, Oh god, that's bad. Um, so, yeah,
Speaker 1: that wasn't the horrible decision. We are not trying to
Speaker 1: make it about pe every week, but that was my
Speaker 1: horrible decision. That was pretty good, Bed, that's a pretty
Speaker 1: horrible She didn't have consent there, she did so fucking
Speaker 1: on someone else's miss. I agree. So the horrible decision
Speaker 1: this week is married marital dating. I was about to say,
Speaker 1: Mary a dating, I'm sorry we've went out last night.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, So married dating came up because, um, James
Speaker 1: used to be married. I wanted to date within his marriage.
Speaker 1: Mandy talks about dating married men and I just wanted
Speaker 1: to bring you two together and discuss it because you've
Speaker 1: got someone who's married, but more honest, the guys that
Speaker 1: you're dating that are married, are they honest with their
Speaker 1: Wife're not honest with their wives? Now, mother, Um, so
Speaker 1: let's talk about monogamy in your relationship. So your marriage
Speaker 1: didn't work out. What when did you realize you didn't
Speaker 1: want to be monogamous? Um? Probably pretty early on. But
Speaker 1: I think the issue really was I was coming from
Speaker 1: this background of a very conservative religious, evangelical Christian home,
Speaker 1: So everything I was taught when I was younger was that,
Speaker 1: you know, um, women basically women don't really enjoy sex
Speaker 1: so and men do. So that women only enjoy like
Speaker 1: their recreation part of it, you know, or they should
Speaker 1: if they do enjoy sex, and there's something wrong with
Speaker 1: them basically, or they can only enjoy it in marriage.
Speaker 1: And even then they kind of started believing that ship
Speaker 1: more recently because they're influenced by like the feminist and
Speaker 1: pro sex movement. That's the thing of a female enjoy
Speaker 1: sex and they look at her like you're a man eater,
Speaker 1: You're you think like a nigger, you like. For that reason,
Speaker 1: it was I was always taught that for men to
Speaker 1: want sex with a woman outside of a of a
Speaker 1: married relationship is a really wrong thing, and you're doing
Speaker 1: a horrible thing to that woman, even if she seems
Speaker 1: like she's enjoys it, or she actually when you wanted
Speaker 1: to be non monogamous, is it because because I know
Speaker 1: you love your wife, I've heard you talk to talk
Speaker 1: about her in that way. What why did you want
Speaker 1: to start sleeping with um? I don't know. To me,
Speaker 1: the thing, like how I would describe it is that
Speaker 1: to me, sex and relationships and friendships are not They're
Speaker 1: all kind of equal things. Like you could have I
Speaker 1: could have a sexual relationship with someone that I was
Speaker 1: friends with and not romantic with, or and I have
Speaker 1: had that, or I've had sexual relationships you know that
Speaker 1: I don't have a friendship with this person at all,
Speaker 1: like I only want to have sex with them and
Speaker 1: absolutely see them otherwise. Or you know, you can have
Speaker 1: someone that you're really close and you have all those
Speaker 1: three things with, but that doesn't mean even if you
Speaker 1: have that someone that you're a really close friend with,
Speaker 1: it you really love, you really love having sex with
Speaker 1: them a lot. That doesn't mean you're never gonna want
Speaker 1: to have sex with someone else, or if you do,
Speaker 1: then that negates anything you have with when you had
Speaker 1: those feelings being in that crazy religious Sorry it's sucking nuts. H.
Speaker 1: Did you think, Okay, I don't love do I want
Speaker 1: to leave my wife too? Was there ever that I never?
Speaker 1: I never felt like that. I always you know, loved her.
Speaker 1: I wanted to stay with her, I wanted to be
Speaker 1: with her. That was never what I was questioning. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to, um, you know, be with other people,
Speaker 1: and I wanted her to be with other people. And
Speaker 1: really mostly what it was about I think was just
Speaker 1: she was so like jealous and possessive and insecure about me.
Speaker 1: Like if I ever like like I was never like
Speaker 1: flirtatious or anything. I didn't even really have like other
Speaker 1: like female friends or anything that was close with at all.
Speaker 1: But like if I would ever even like look at
Speaker 1: something or make any kind of comment about any woman
Speaker 1: looking attractive or whatever, like it would set her off.
Speaker 1: Do you think that women can drive their men to
Speaker 1: other women by doing that? Um, I mean women can
Speaker 1: create a bad relationship and which will make more likely
Speaker 1: for men to go out. But I don't think that's
Speaker 1: what it is. I mean, she didn't drive me to
Speaker 1: do that and I was never close to doing that.
Speaker 1: So like, and see how he can dad relationships. That's
Speaker 1: a great and how he explained his relationship. And men
Speaker 1: will always blame women like, oh you did this, just
Speaker 1: just just that made me do it, Like you can
Speaker 1: create maybe tension, but it's not your fault. Well even well,
Speaker 1: I mean I think also when you do have a
Speaker 1: monogaous relationship that both people agreed to be monogamous and
Speaker 1: then one person cheats, like that is a form of abuse,
Speaker 1: like within the relationship because you're expecting something from someone
Speaker 1: that you're not willing to give yourself, and you're not
Speaker 1: being honest with that person. And that's what's really the
Speaker 1: problem with that, and that's why cheating is bad. But
Speaker 1: a lot of people, even you know, guys that say
Speaker 1: they want that or say they want to open relationship,
Speaker 1: most of the time they're still really insecure and they
Speaker 1: aren't comfortable with their you know, significant other stepping out
Speaker 1: on them with their women. Were you did mean that
Speaker 1: when you wanted her to sleep with other men? But
Speaker 1: did you want it because you wanted to other people?
Speaker 1: I mean, I both both, but I wanted her to.
Speaker 1: I wanted her to see that she could fun someone
Speaker 1: else and it didn't negate everything in our relationship, and
Speaker 1: I wanted her to see that wanting to suck other
Speaker 1: people doesn't mean that I don't love you. Um, but
Speaker 1: it was kind of weird because she was mostly interested
Speaker 1: in sucking women, and I just thought that was hot.
Speaker 1: So I wasn't really I like that answer though, because no,
Speaker 1: when so the guys that you're dating that are married,
Speaker 1: that's what what are you thinking right now? Because I
Speaker 1: was trying to say it as he was on that topic,
Speaker 1: because I know what I want you to cut them
Speaker 1: off and I didn't, and I didn't actually you cut
Speaker 1: me off. So I was trying to relate exactly since
Speaker 1: this was supposed to be. I hope you guys are fine,
Speaker 1: because this is going to be bouncing off of each
Speaker 1: other conversation, So please don't feel like we're all interrupting
Speaker 1: to Jesus, I was trying to. I'm just saying I
Speaker 1: was trying to relate it right as that he was
Speaker 1: bringing it off up in each other like we were
Speaker 1: trying to. You were trying to tell a difference and
Speaker 1: what he was talking about in terms of him wanting
Speaker 1: to step out of his relationship but completely still be
Speaker 1: in his marriage because he had those um sexual connections,
Speaker 1: the emotional connection, the friendship with his wife. Those are
Speaker 1: the type of men that I have dealt with. They're
Speaker 1: not they're not with me looking to leave their wives.
Speaker 1: They're they're completely happy in the relationship they have with
Speaker 1: their wives. But there may be something, whether it's sex,
Speaker 1: whether it's a conversation that they like having with me
Speaker 1: more than you know. It's literally like and I won't
Speaker 1: say his name, but there's one and we're able to
Speaker 1: bounce off ideas as far as businesses. He's very creative
Speaker 1: and what he wants to do, and he genuinely just
Speaker 1: likes those conversations with me that he knows. He his
Speaker 1: wife maybe either doesn't care about doesn't know the business
Speaker 1: he just doesn't have he can't have those conversations. Where
Speaker 1: do you ever feel at that point? Because that would
Speaker 1: be my issue, and maybe that's because I am a
Speaker 1: more more emotional person than you do. You ever has
Speaker 1: there been a moment, honestly where you felt used? So
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie if and I've told this to many,
Speaker 1: many women who choose to deal in this. If you
Speaker 1: choose to deal with a married man or a man
Speaker 1: who is taken, I don't feel like you should ever
Speaker 1: go into it thinking that you can take the number.
Speaker 1: And that's the thing. I don't think you have to
Speaker 1: necessarily think that for you to then feel to use. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't feel used because I make it benefit me.
Speaker 1: So I enjoy the relationship, but I make it a
Speaker 1: monetary game. I'm not gonna lie. I sit here and
Speaker 1: tell man like you married, she's kept, she ain't gotta
Speaker 1: worry about bills, how she's living. If you want to
Speaker 1: build that relationship with me, I need you to do
Speaker 1: that for me. So I need to know if I
Speaker 1: need tuition paid, you got it. If I need my
Speaker 1: bills paid, you got it. I'm not getting into a
Speaker 1: relationship that I know essentially cannot go anywhere emotional without
Speaker 1: a benefit for me. So I'll sit here and say like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't mind having this arrangement that you want to
Speaker 1: bring about, but I'm also not gonna see here and
Speaker 1: just be someone emotional like it's gonna cost you. And
Speaker 1: so that's kind of you know how I bring it's
Speaker 1: because then you're communicating honestly, you're telling them what you
Speaker 1: need out of the relationship, and you have that back
Speaker 1: and forth with them. And I've had like even with
Speaker 1: with Crystal, We've talked about it, and there's been guys
Speaker 1: that have approached her and when she brings up the money,
Speaker 1: they're like, no, I just I just need me girlfriend
Speaker 1: number two? What the hell is in it for the
Speaker 1: other girl? Besides sex? I could go funk someone who's single,
Speaker 1: and it could potentially be something for me to start
Speaker 1: something with someone who doesn't make sense? Um, do you
Speaker 1: think that that's because you know it's a lie? What
Speaker 1: have you met a mary do that it was an
Speaker 1: open relationship? I don't believe in coming in as No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about with his wife. No, what do
Speaker 1: you mean an open relationship? Talking about a guyship. I'm
Speaker 1: not even saying pop Polly. I'm saying like a guy
Speaker 1: who's like, hey, me and my wife are both open.
Speaker 1: It's okay, insecure. I can date you. My wife dates
Speaker 1: other people. You don't have to ever see my wife Like,
Speaker 1: I'm open. We can go out, we can hang out,
Speaker 1: we can do everything. I'm not lying with you still
Speaker 1: you still feel like you need a gain. No, because essentially,
Speaker 1: if I get into a relationship with somebody and route
Speaker 1: I want to possibly have kids, I want to possibly
Speaker 1: get married if he's already married, right, I do hate kids.
Speaker 1: But no, I honestly, at this point in my life
Speaker 1: right now, I don't want it. But I'm not gonna open.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get I'm not going to get into
Speaker 1: a relationship where the door is closed on growth. And essentially,
Speaker 1: if I'm coming in in an open relationship, there's still
Speaker 1: a door that's closed to me that we can't go past. Essentially,
Speaker 1: So no, I wouldn't get this has never happened to me.
Speaker 1: And during the show, but I have two peace so bad,
Speaker 1: that's fine. I want to bring up this next part
Speaker 1: that you and James could go in, um so, just
Speaker 1: to start it off before I go to the bathroom,
Speaker 1: James brings up that you don't like men on the
Speaker 1: d L a lot, and I think finds a contradictory
Speaker 1: because there is deceit in that, but there's also deceit
Speaker 1: with the men. You're trying to start a fight with
Speaker 1: us right before you get you know, I I love
Speaker 1: this conversation to be here, how do you feel like
Speaker 1: it's Yeah? So okay, basically I'll say my thought on
Speaker 1: such um. I do talk to a lot of men
Speaker 1: who dip and dabble but are are open about it
Speaker 1: to me. And when I asked them, do all of
Speaker 1: the women in your life know that you're like this?
Speaker 1: They say no. I do have an issue with that,
Speaker 1: more so on the health to the and essentially them
Speaker 1: lying to themselves married men. I don't believe in monogamy,
Speaker 1: so essentially, if he's not with me, he's gonna be
Speaker 1: with somebody else anyways. Okay, but if your issue is
Speaker 1: with honesty and being honest with yourself, a married man
Speaker 1: who's a straight married man who's cheating on his wife
Speaker 1: is being just as dishonest with the people and his
Speaker 1: wife that are like that are closest to him and
Speaker 1: himself as a guy that's doing the same thing but
Speaker 1: with guys. Yeah, But like like I said, so when
Speaker 1: it comes to marriage, and I've said this actually a
Speaker 1: lot on the show, I don't believe one person is
Speaker 1: meant to be with another person. So in this sense,
Speaker 1: there's the commitment of marriage that you guys have this relationship,
Speaker 1: he's stepping out of the marriage and essentially being with
Speaker 1: other women as he chooses. I feel like this is
Speaker 1: gonna happen regardless. It's the same thing with you think
Speaker 1: it's happen, regardless that guys are going to be with
Speaker 1: other guys they are. What are you talking about? Do
Speaker 1: you think it's inevitable that guys are gonna be with
Speaker 1: other guys so they can not share it with a
Speaker 1: woman if they want to. I think if they're being
Speaker 1: with other guys in that place, and they should share
Speaker 1: it with the woman. If they I don't think they're
Speaker 1: they have to share it, they should share it with
Speaker 1: the women. I think also like people who deal with
Speaker 1: homosexuality are dealing especially you know, in in poorer communities, especially,
Speaker 1: you're dealing with a lot more discrimination. She's dealing with
Speaker 1: a lot of complicates. Taken honest, catch up, No, we're
Speaker 1: just talking. He was talking about coming out. I think
Speaker 1: that you know or being open about your sexuality or
Speaker 1: who have you fucked in the past, possibly whether you
Speaker 1: know those men or women. I don't think that straight
Speaker 1: people should be telling gay people or queer people when
Speaker 1: they need to be coming out of the closet or
Speaker 1: when they need to be honest about stuff because they
Speaker 1: don't understand what people go through when they actually come
Speaker 1: out of the closet and that, you know, the consequences
Speaker 1: from everyone in their life, from their family to their friends,
Speaker 1: to people at their jobs and their schools shifting on
Speaker 1: them for being who they are and being honest about that.
Speaker 1: Like you don't get the same thing for saying, you know,
Speaker 1: I had sex with someone. But if you say, oh,
Speaker 1: I had sex with another guy, then now all these
Speaker 1: women aren't gonna want to suck you. They're gonna think
Speaker 1: you're whatever. You know, if if people are like that
Speaker 1: in that community, right, I'm gonna be honest with you
Speaker 1: men on the d L. When I was younger, I
Speaker 1: used to be like, no, that's terrible. But now that
Speaker 1: I'm more accepting of dating bisexual, I mean, I mean
Speaker 1: my mind is completely open, Like I have no pe
Speaker 1: just against it anymore, I can't say that there is
Speaker 1: anything that fucking different. I mean, I'm accepting of it too.
Speaker 1: But even even with talking to so many men that
Speaker 1: have this lifestyle, I asked them, I'm like, well, you're
Speaker 1: so open with me, I'm accepting of it. If you
Speaker 1: possibly say this to another woman, she may be accepting
Speaker 1: of too. But that's up to them. That's for them
Speaker 1: to decide, that's their life. They know that you don't
Speaker 1: like you don't know those people and what they're dealing with,
Speaker 1: and maybe you're right, but that's like you're not in
Speaker 1: the position to say that if you're not having dealt
Speaker 1: with them. So I am not allowed to feel this
Speaker 1: way about download men because I mean, I'm okay with
Speaker 1: cheating married men. I just don't see the correlation, asking
Speaker 1: you what's the difference. I don't really see the correlation
Speaker 1: of saying they're both deceitful lies a lie people, they're
Speaker 1: both cheating on other people, they're both bringing up I'm
Speaker 1: not even talking about someone being in a relationship. I'm
Speaker 1: saying the to me when I'm talking about men on
Speaker 1: the d L it's the casual dating or you're sleeping
Speaker 1: with men and women at the same time. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying like I'm talking about that, like you're spreading with
Speaker 1: a ton of different people, and you're you're saying a
Speaker 1: bunch of different things, Like you're saying a married guy
Speaker 1: who's cheating on his wife, you don't assume that he's
Speaker 1: spreading it. She mentioned men on the d L, I
Speaker 1: didn't mention a married man sleeping with him macause people
Speaker 1: we're saying, is it contradictory because you think married. You
Speaker 1: don't find a big problem with married dating, right, because
Speaker 1: I don't believe in monogamy, so I feel like a
Speaker 1: man is going to do that. So why is it
Speaker 1: so much worse if they're on the d L, Because
Speaker 1: essentially you're dealing with men and women. We talked about
Speaker 1: this when it came to but I don't see anything
Speaker 1: wrong with it, But I feel like it needs to
Speaker 1: be mentioned because just like we mentioned the transgender conversation
Speaker 1: and the same thing with a little duval going on
Speaker 1: the breakfast club. Even there, you trans people do not
Speaker 1: have any kind of responsibility or obligation to tell anyone
Speaker 1: else what they're what they are like, or what they
Speaker 1: you know, what their situation is. And I'm saying this
Speaker 1: coming from a community where I'm friends with a lot
Speaker 1: of people who feel such strong emotions about the homosexuals. Now,
Speaker 1: I don't like that they do. But because you date
Speaker 1: buy guys, but then you also are uncomfortable with the
Speaker 1: d L party, I have never dated a by guy
Speaker 1: you're comfortable with by, I'm comfortable with um curious, by curious,
Speaker 1: I would say, not one who has actually had male
Speaker 1: like a penis in his ass. But clearly I've pegged him.
Speaker 1: He was gay for pay, so I mean, I guess,
Speaker 1: but in his dating life he sleeps with women and
Speaker 1: he literally said it took him like even during the shoot.
Speaker 1: But would you have a problem. I just told him
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. But that's me. But the d L thing, then,
Speaker 1: why do you think the d because because I like
Speaker 1: that if I'm dating someone who's by, he's comfortable in
Speaker 1: him being by. And I know that if you say
Speaker 1: I'm not comfortable dating someone that's on the d O,
Speaker 1: I don't think that's uh. You know that that's a
Speaker 1: legitimate that that would be that would be more so,
Speaker 1: that would be more so what I'm saying, And that
Speaker 1: makes sense. And there's a lot of people that And
Speaker 1: I like people owning their truth. So if someone if
Speaker 1: a guy is bisexual, I would be more liking to
Speaker 1: the fact that he's owning his sexuality. I don't mind
Speaker 1: dating he's bisexual, but dating someone who's on the download
Speaker 1: who has you know, I agree like being honest and
Speaker 1: open about who you are and what you want is
Speaker 1: an attractive thing. It's a good thing. But the reason
Speaker 1: that men on the d L are there is because
Speaker 1: they face a lot of conset. And I one thousand
Speaker 1: percent understand that for you and what you want, then
Speaker 1: that's understandable. But to say that that's wrong or morally wrong,
Speaker 1: or that's you know, lying in a way, that cheating
Speaker 1: on a spouse in a straight way is not Oh no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no no. I've never really correlated the two together
Speaker 1: or one being a lesser of evils. But for my preference,
Speaker 1: I dislike the d L thing. I would love for
Speaker 1: a guy to own up to his sexuality and he's
Speaker 1: bisexual and like sick, he likes sick, whatever. But that's
Speaker 1: kind of my take on that. I guess, um, I
Speaker 1: don't want to see here and speak for everyone on
Speaker 1: being download is wrong and being married and cheating is
Speaker 1: not as wrong. I don't want to do that, but
Speaker 1: my personal feelings on it is that, and I'm glad
Speaker 1: we kind of got to an understanding where I am
Speaker 1: with that before we get into like the final topic,
Speaker 1: which I know we wanted to bring up with with masculinity.
Speaker 1: I want to talk really quick about open relationships because,
Speaker 1: as you guys know, I'm in one, and so there's
Speaker 1: times where I'll talk about it, and you know, my
Speaker 1: group chat with my friends with James, one of my closest,
Speaker 1: it's all of us, and I will say things where
Speaker 1: I contradict myself. I like that you go on a date,
Speaker 1: but I don't like if you like her. Yeah. But
Speaker 1: like so, we we were having conversation, we were saying,
Speaker 1: our open relationships really that open because there's so many boundaries.
Speaker 1: What do you think in open relationship and its most
Speaker 1: ideal perfect form is well, I mean, I don't know
Speaker 1: that there's an ideal perfect form for everyone. Everyone was
Speaker 1: greatly different. But I think ideally it should be based
Speaker 1: on communication and consent and being honest about you know,
Speaker 1: what both people want and what both people are willing
Speaker 1: to do to you know, make the other person happy.
Speaker 1: But I think a lot of times it can be
Speaker 1: hard with open relationships because there's just there's still a
Speaker 1: lot of deception going on, and there's still just from
Speaker 1: what I've seen, deception like what what do you mean, well,
Speaker 1: deception like and manipulation like they'll say that. Usually the
Speaker 1: way it works is they'll the guy will say, let's
Speaker 1: have an open relationship, and the girls like okay, because
Speaker 1: she wants to be with him, and then he is
Speaker 1: sucking a lot of other people because that's what he
Speaker 1: wants to do that he may or may not be
Speaker 1: telling her about. But and if she he's telling her
Speaker 1: that she's, you know, able to have an open relationship.
Speaker 1: But if she ever does, then he'll be like weird,
Speaker 1: passive aggressive and make her understand that he doesn't like
Speaker 1: it without owning up to the fact that you can't
Speaker 1: handle it because you think that men bring it up
Speaker 1: because they want to. Absolutely, I think it's a lot
Speaker 1: of times it is. But I'm saying that as a
Speaker 1: person that you know, believes in like polyamory and non
Speaker 1: monogous relationship, Like I don't believe in monogamy, but I
Speaker 1: think that a lot of times still, you know, people
Speaker 1: are assholes, and that's kind of how if you got married.
Speaker 1: I got to look out for that and make sure
Speaker 1: that it really is equal. And a lot of times
Speaker 1: it's not. A lot of times of the women do
Speaker 1: have an issue. And I even have noticed this in
Speaker 1: the swinging community. Um, going to the beach and just
Speaker 1: talking to different couples. Um, the men have sex, they
Speaker 1: have three suns, they bring women in. He's able to
Speaker 1: fund other women. But there's you're not sucking another guy.
Speaker 1: I can't look at you the same if there's another
Speaker 1: dick going inside of you. And I think a lot
Speaker 1: of black men specifically have that issue where it would
Speaker 1: be kind of an ego trip for them to see
Speaker 1: them their wives or their girlfriends or someone being pleased.
Speaker 1: Not only that men are macho, men are mascu, men
Speaker 1: are providers. Men don't want to think that a woman
Speaker 1: has to go elsewhere to get pleased. So I think
Speaker 1: an open relationship is very hard for a man to accept.
Speaker 1: They don't want their women stepping out getting pleased by
Speaker 1: other men or women. Yeah, in mine, I realized the
Speaker 1: only time lover boy got extremely not i'm not gonna
Speaker 1: say extremely jealous, but the one time where you fucking
Speaker 1: admitted it. I slept with this girl and woke up
Speaker 1: in the morning, told him about it, and I mentioned
Speaker 1: how we were on the couch, we didn't even take
Speaker 1: off our clothes, and I fucking came and it was amazing,
Speaker 1: and I was like it was so fast, was so good,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and he didn't say anything for a
Speaker 1: few minutes. He's like, Okay, you know what, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but that was too much and that was with a female,
Speaker 1: and I realized, you know, he apologize, And I think
Speaker 1: it's because it was like you get into your own
Speaker 1: ego of do I make her come that fast? How
Speaker 1: come in with so good? And I think what happens
Speaker 1: with women in in my open relationship. We both enjoy
Speaker 1: it because we like the open and honesty and we
Speaker 1: like having one person there for the emotions and then
Speaker 1: everybody else is just kind of fun. But with women,
Speaker 1: they're not they're a little bit inferior. And he's never
Speaker 1: said that a vocalized it, but I think that's how
Speaker 1: a lot of men feel when women other women. I mean,
Speaker 1: she's not gonna replace me. There's there's a lot of
Speaker 1: women too that are you know, primarily straight, but they
Speaker 1: like to fool around with women or have sex with
Speaker 1: women sometimes, you know, or it's a thing, but they're
Speaker 1: not going to be in relationship relationship. So if you're
Speaker 1: in that kind of situation, then the guy, because when
Speaker 1: the men conversation come into play. It's like we discussed it,
Speaker 1: but it is way harder, way more difficult, and it
Speaker 1: has to be those times where I'm like, Okay, so
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about like I need
Speaker 1: to start this warning opposed to like, so let me
Speaker 1: tell you about this. So it's like, is it even
Speaker 1: necessarily open? If you feel like you have to tiptoe
Speaker 1: around being open? And he can send you pictures of
Speaker 1: the girls he's on dates with, he can because is
Speaker 1: it really open? It's open because of the honesty. It's open.
Speaker 1: Fuck you, James got his motherfucking this, nigga. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you why. It's still unclear. Oh wait, we're not
Speaker 1: in Florida. It's not set for hill Spring. It's open
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna tell him and he has to deal
Speaker 1: with it, but I'm not gonna front. I think the
Speaker 1: one thing that I do because of the security issue
Speaker 1: is I kind of sugarcoat and make it seem nicer
Speaker 1: and you still have the biggest stick. You're amazing, babe.
Speaker 1: That kind of thing I need to do, whereas he
Speaker 1: doesn't really need to do that for me. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: on top of it, you're not fucking other guys. But
Speaker 1: you know I'm mind do I don't think you are.
Speaker 1: I really don't think you are saying you're running from
Speaker 1: You're only saying that because you think the guy. But
Speaker 1: if you're only the one at the gym, bro, there's
Speaker 1: a ton of them where you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: he's cute. I don't evenant to go on a date
Speaker 1: with him because I know I'm gonna him like you
Speaker 1: don't want to know. I'm gonna be honest. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: am very like one man kind of woman. And even
Speaker 1: though the open relationship idea I'm enjoying because of the
Speaker 1: girls that I'm seeing and I love flirting with men
Speaker 1: and texting with them, going out and ship, I feel
Speaker 1: like if that sucked someone else, then I might just
Speaker 1: only suck them, And that ship scares me because I
Speaker 1: feel like then I'm ruining the rules of the open relationship.
Speaker 1: That's why I don't feel like my need to come
Speaker 1: up with another word for this, because to me, open
Speaker 1: relationship is feeling okay to go out and suck other people.
Speaker 1: And just like he's not going to say that, I
Speaker 1: don't feel the okay on the other end. It's me.
Speaker 1: It's my own feelings and guilt or fear, but you
Speaker 1: were just saying you already have to sugarcoat it and
Speaker 1: do a lot of stuff. I do it, but I
Speaker 1: know that when you were girl at the girls, the girls,
Speaker 1: I'm cool with the girls is cool. It was me
Speaker 1: coming too hard, crazy, But I mean the jealousy is okay.
Speaker 1: I can't not say dog his face. His face is
Speaker 1: a meme right now. Jesus Christ not Christopher is the
Speaker 1: shadiest friend. Um, you know what the women I don't.
Speaker 1: I was saying that one situation was the one time
Speaker 1: it sends to jealousy. But with women I don't as
Speaker 1: much because I said they feel and I think that
Speaker 1: they're more inferior in his head. But with men, I do.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if it's because I'm worried about
Speaker 1: his feelings too much and I should just thank you
Speaker 1: I brought raised James, and I should just focus on myself.
Speaker 1: But even in my head, when it starts getting closer
Speaker 1: and closer and closer, it's harder for me. I think
Speaker 1: that with any open relationship, the communication and guidelines you
Speaker 1: to be set from the beginning, and I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm not. Really I don't want to make any comments
Speaker 1: on you and your relationship, but I feel like it's
Speaker 1: something that needs to be kind of black and white,
Speaker 1: and I feel like there's a lot of gray area
Speaker 1: with a lot of open relationships, and I think that
Speaker 1: that's kind of what the communication is really hard on
Speaker 1: my point. You know, when I when I went to
Speaker 1: go visit him in Europe, we were in the car
Speaker 1: and I thought, Okay, I'm gonna say it right now.
Speaker 1: This is the moment. We were in the car and
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, I just want to let you
Speaker 1: know that I'm back on bumble and I'm swiping guys
Speaker 1: and I just want to tell you. He couldn't even
Speaker 1: turn his face to look at me. He said okay, okay,
Speaker 1: was like enough, and I know he didn't like to
Speaker 1: hear it, but he had to because this is what
Speaker 1: we agreed to. So that part is harder because the communication,
Speaker 1: it's like we talked about everything. When I talk about
Speaker 1: dude is like I, okay, I give this this guy
Speaker 1: from the gym I number. Okay, so he's wanting to
Speaker 1: have his cake and eat it too. Yeah, it's hard,
Speaker 1: and I mean I understand, like it's hard when you're
Speaker 1: in a relationship to be honest with yourself about what
Speaker 1: you want from the relationship, because it puts you in
Speaker 1: a very vulnerable position. And also, we're like raised, everything
Speaker 1: in society tells us that romance and love is the
Speaker 1: one thing that can actually make you happy. Like, that's
Speaker 1: what is really going to solve all your problems, is
Speaker 1: when you find that one person that loves you unconditionally
Speaker 1: and you love them, and when you're together nothing else matters,
Speaker 1: and you have that kind of you know, that great
Speaker 1: romance that one of lifetime soulmate experience. And so everyone
Speaker 1: kind of low key wants that and but doesn't want
Speaker 1: to admit it, you know what I mean. So because
Speaker 1: when you admit that yourself that you want that with
Speaker 1: this person, then if they don't share that back with you,
Speaker 1: then you're The Other funny part about that you're saying
Speaker 1: that is because now that my thought process has changed,
Speaker 1: why they're from being friends with dub who dates couples
Speaker 1: or whatever. I used to always joke about the main
Speaker 1: chick thing being stupid. Now that's kind of what I want.
Speaker 1: I'm fine with. I like, as long as we can
Speaker 1: just more establish that and I would be okay. With
Speaker 1: dating other people. Sometimes I think it's because we don't
Speaker 1: know what we're doing with our open relationship. But I
Speaker 1: don't really care about the other data because I know
Speaker 1: that our emotions are there. I know that there's no
Speaker 1: one else that tops that, and that's fine. Honestly, monogamy
Speaker 1: at this point, A hundred percent would be worse than
Speaker 1: that than me. For me, than this, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I could deal with that, because to me, I'd
Speaker 1: be more worried about deceit. I'd be more worried about
Speaker 1: having to say my every move, not being able to
Speaker 1: flirt and do what I want or feeling that freedom.
Speaker 1: That would really really scare me. I don't even know
Speaker 1: what I would do what I had with with back home, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, bro, if I looked at other it
Speaker 1: was like it was too much of a lockdown. So
Speaker 1: a hundred percent monogamy versus what I have right now,
Speaker 1: this is what I can handle, even though there's gray
Speaker 1: areas and I'm still learning. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: could ever do it again in my lifetime. A hundred
Speaker 1: percent all the way through, that's a hard thing to do, maneah,
Speaker 1: And to me, like even more, you know, like I
Speaker 1: wasn't like I was really tempted. When I was married
Speaker 1: to monogamous, I wasn't like tempted. I wasn't mad all
Speaker 1: the time that I wasn't, you know, going out sleeping
Speaker 1: with other people. It was just the fact that I
Speaker 1: couldn't or if something happened then I would be doing,
Speaker 1: you know, the worst thing ever in the world, if
Speaker 1: someone wanted to suck me and I sucked him while
Speaker 1: I was drunk somewhere out of a party or something
Speaker 1: like that. You know what I mean is that having
Speaker 1: the freedom to know that that doesn't control everything in
Speaker 1: your relationship doesn't reflect you know, everything that your love together,
Speaker 1: because rules are what makes I feel like it's what
Speaker 1: just totally sucks it up. So the last thing I
Speaker 1: want to get into, um is gender, masculine masculinity, toxic masculine, Like, right,
Speaker 1: are you okay? Masculinity? Damn was that said, masculine? Dude?
Speaker 1: We got funked up yesterday, bro at that festival. So
Speaker 1: I'm just I feel like I'm Mandy right now with
Speaker 1: Raspy Boys listen, and it's like I'm moderating today somewhat
Speaker 1: like I know this is all different this is all
Speaker 1: very good. I guess we're giving you guys you know
Speaker 1: over and honestly, I'm not comfortable with that. Is it's
Speaker 1: like I'm so dominating in my in my work and
Speaker 1: like always taking control with other things. I kind of
Speaker 1: like you running the show. Well, not only that you
Speaker 1: we we have a time set here, and I don't
Speaker 1: think sometimes you lose the concept of time, so just
Speaker 1: to just to keep the conversation going, and I'm trying,
Speaker 1: and I want you all to know, we don't have
Speaker 1: a producer. So not only are we talent, we're looking
Speaker 1: at time, we're saying ads. Were we we actually outline
Speaker 1: our show? And I don't think people understand, like it's
Speaker 1: a lot for both of us. Other podcasts, I would
Speaker 1: never do it again. The only thing I judge now
Speaker 1: with podcasts when I think it's shitty is content. That's it.
Speaker 1: Like I don't think listen to Brilliant Idiots, which is
Speaker 1: one of the biggest podcasts that Chris is awesome. I
Speaker 1: love they were all over the place. Sometimes they read ads,
Speaker 1: Oh I gotta go up, I gotta do this, and
Speaker 1: they get off track, and it never makes me think
Speaker 1: that they deserve less than five. Not that they bring
Speaker 1: is the ship. To sit in a room and make
Speaker 1: something perfect is really really hard. So I appreciate you
Speaker 1: guys for recognizing that we are trying and and we're
Speaker 1: trying new things like this, we are what we're six months.
Speaker 1: Oh god, damn, y'all are harsh with these comments like
Speaker 1: y'all ain't only y'all ain't even got hold jokes. At
Speaker 1: the same time, well, bit, I don't know what she's
Speaker 1: gonna say. And then people loved our run of me things.
Speaker 1: Then it's like, y'all to me, now, y'all't even friends.
Speaker 1: I'm just like listening. I was talking to sit here
Speaker 1: and Route for the big girls, and it's like, well,
Speaker 1: you big and you talk about her being skinny, and
Speaker 1: it's just like she calls me a vixen when we
Speaker 1: go out, look at her vixen back. But if I
Speaker 1: ever do skinny shaming and if I if I thick
Speaker 1: girl shamed, then I would be It's just you can't win.
Speaker 1: I was talking to about that last review and she
Speaker 1: was like, well, you should talk to her and tell
Speaker 1: her not to say things like that. Was like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be honest with your dude. I don't want to
Speaker 1: ruin the friend of Me vibe because it's real and
Speaker 1: the banter is real. So if I start James making
Speaker 1: a face because there's times where I'm mad, but because
Speaker 1: you but you're sensitive and we know this, but I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna friend to stop all of it with suck
Speaker 1: it up. And I feel like, and I'm sorry that
Speaker 1: we're going off track of this mascot contact, but I
Speaker 1: want you guys to know, like, I think this is
Speaker 1: something that kind of needs to be kind of talked about,
Speaker 1: because I feel like we're getting so many so much
Speaker 1: feedback that we're trying to please everyone and unfortunately, really,
Speaker 1: like I said, we can't please you all. Yes, I've
Speaker 1: talked over people and if you've listened from episode twenty on,
Speaker 1: I've kind of worked on that. If you guys sit,
Speaker 1: if you listen from episode when Mandy still cutting people off,
Speaker 1: this girl said, Mandy cut people off. I'm on episode eight, bitch,
Speaker 1: we ain't fixed until episode twenty so you gotta keep going.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell you, asks like it's
Speaker 1: got to go back and ed. You you know, we
Speaker 1: can't go ed. There's time to people be like you
Speaker 1: get on me too much. I I get more annoyed
Speaker 1: what you're getting on me in our personal lives than
Speaker 1: do on the show. Bro this, which is a really
Speaker 1: funny thing about it, because I'll read those things. I'll
Speaker 1: laugh at me, like, yeah, I get her, but they
Speaker 1: don't hear the things that i'd be mad about, and
Speaker 1: the things that you do on the show I could.
Speaker 1: I don't think I get that irritated about the only
Speaker 1: thing I did because when you called me from mysterious
Speaker 1: that pissed me off was so fine. That was the
Speaker 1: That was the only thing to say that Everyone is like,
Speaker 1: let me just got so mad about the word. We're
Speaker 1: just to make the next episode short because I have
Speaker 1: to get this out. Promiscuity, by definition, is just people
Speaker 1: sleeping with people just to sleep with him. I don't
Speaker 1: think it has to do with quantity. I find that
Speaker 1: I have sex based on quality and the connections that
Speaker 1: I make with people. So to disregard the sex that
Speaker 1: I have just because you could call it free sex.
Speaker 1: I don't suck people because they're hot. I sucked them
Speaker 1: because they're hot, they're mentally stimulating. I like the vibe
Speaker 1: about going on. I sunk people for that reason. And
Speaker 1: that's miscuity, means that you do that's not I think
Speaker 1: she read really deep into the thing. And I said
Speaker 1: this because by episode five there were five different stories
Speaker 1: with five different people at that time. You haven't met
Speaker 1: lover boy at this point, and you two girls and
Speaker 1: three different Well, you're talking about promisecuity, like you, you're
Speaker 1: saying it's a bad thing to you. Assume you're assuming promisecuity.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, and you're on the show saying that having
Speaker 1: sex with a lot of people is not a bad thing.
Speaker 1: That's really one of the points you're saying. If you're
Speaker 1: being honest and in your sexuality and doing what you want,
Speaker 1: have sex with as many people as you want, have
Speaker 1: a gang bang. First of all, we should have got
Speaker 1: on Mandy, not me. We're friends. You should be on team.
Speaker 1: You can't do that. You can't. You know. It's it's
Speaker 1: funny that you bring it up, because you have brought
Speaker 1: that up the most to me. And that's when I realized,
Speaker 1: Like I think me and Mandy talked about it too.
Speaker 1: Someone called us hors and like, wait, hold up, but wait,
Speaker 1: the name of the show is and I think that's well,
Speaker 1: that's what I mean, and that's the thing that I'm
Speaker 1: learning through. I don't want women to feel like they
Speaker 1: have to feel shitty about the decisions they make. But
Speaker 1: to be frank with myself, when hearing that someone thought
Speaker 1: I was that way or would just sleep with anyone
Speaker 1: that did hurt me. I don't know why. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it made me feel too slutty right exactly.
Speaker 1: And you guys say that kind of thing a lot
Speaker 1: of times, and I want to bring it's real feeling.
Speaker 1: You talked about how you want to be with like
Speaker 1: multiple guys, but you don't. You couldn't because because you
Speaker 1: and I want, can I bring up a topic? So
Speaker 1: you're not on Twitter, I am. I'd like to interact
Speaker 1: with a lot of our listeners. So I got this
Speaker 1: um tweet yesterday and I meant to send it to
Speaker 1: you for a podcast called Horrible Decisions. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of hor phobia on here. Why so much emphasis between
Speaker 1: you and sex workers? And I wrote back to her,
Speaker 1: I said, people assume, well, and we've talked about thinks
Speaker 1: that if you're you're a normal, everyday person, that you
Speaker 1: can't have crazy sex. And this is what I wrote
Speaker 1: back to her. I said, because we want to show
Speaker 1: how working class women can embrace their sexual freedom just
Speaker 1: as anyone else can. People assume that only women in
Speaker 1: the sex industry are frequently are freaky and sexually free.
Speaker 1: We embrace the all women even though in corporate America.
Speaker 1: And I don't want to see here and feel like
Speaker 1: we're slush shaming women in the jays. Please please please
Speaker 1: reread us, because I want our listeners to not feel
Speaker 1: this way. So what do we need to do different?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not like super blatant or super obvious,
Speaker 1: but it comes through in the kind of some of
Speaker 1: the assumptions of the questions you got um one of
Speaker 1: the things when one of your recent episodes where you
Speaker 1: talking about, oh, like what are the what are the
Speaker 1: horror jobs? What are the whole jobs that girls are
Speaker 1: saying that, and it just comes off as like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, or a lot of times you're asking like
Speaker 1: would you have would you date a porn star? Would
Speaker 1: you date a sex worker? You know? Or what which
Speaker 1: is worse? And that's really kind of almost what it is,
Speaker 1: like a would you rather thing two horrible things? You know?
Speaker 1: And that's kind of the framing that it comes up
Speaker 1: as and like and and it's part of a thing,
Speaker 1: you know, a part of hor phobia. That's and even
Speaker 1: really slut shaming too, which is women that have sex
Speaker 1: for money or even to just have a lot of
Speaker 1: sex or are promiscuous, they're not worthy of love and
Speaker 1: like men can't you know, can't actually love. And that's
Speaker 1: really it is. It's really fucked up because it's like
Speaker 1: that's a horrible thing to be, you know, but that's
Speaker 1: what a lot of women in that position are, you know,
Speaker 1: faced with, and a lot of men treat them like.
Speaker 1: And I think the thing is when we did the
Speaker 1: hoh jobs, I know we were coming from a place
Speaker 1: of teasing. And I know you wrote me about that
Speaker 1: in our in our group, Chad and said that I
Speaker 1: know we were coming from this place of teasing, like
Speaker 1: because we call girls out, they won't own it. Yes,
Speaker 1: And that's why we loved Deep Throat so much, because
Speaker 1: she had her lethal lips, was so confident, so sexy
Speaker 1: about it. Um. But when we mentioned ho jobs, it's
Speaker 1: these girls that want to portray that they're doing so
Speaker 1: much better in every other aspect. But also the other
Speaker 1: thing I want to say, and and my issue is
Speaker 1: even with the way you brought up to then responded
Speaker 1: to that tweet, you said, oh, well, this show, we're
Speaker 1: trying to show that normal women, even read girls that
Speaker 1: have regular jobs or whatever it can be. It can
Speaker 1: be sexually sexually free and her own sexuality. But sex
Speaker 1: workers just have a regular job like everyone else. They're not.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not like they're not different. It's it's
Speaker 1: a job. It's sex work is work, right, And I
Speaker 1: don't think I mean normal as in like or I mean,
Speaker 1: because I agree with her tweet, I don't think that
Speaker 1: we're coming from a place of like this is a
Speaker 1: outlandish it's just not your common job. That's it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but exactly. But it's like a weird thing. And when
Speaker 1: you mean you think it about it, when you ask
Speaker 1: them about it, it's not that uncommon. I mean, and
Speaker 1: you guys are saying this, but you're saying you're you're
Speaker 1: not sex workers, But I mean you have sex for
Speaker 1: money sometimes in exchange literally just talk with married yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: so I mean it's not not that if it's with
Speaker 1: a married man. So I mean, like it's not like
Speaker 1: you're from that. But that's what I mean, and that's
Speaker 1: what a lot of people will do. Is say oh, well, there,
Speaker 1: if there's all this societal stigma attached to something to
Speaker 1: sex workers, they really shouldn't be. But if you're kind
Speaker 1: of in that or close to that, it's easier to say, oh, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not really a part of that now. I want
Speaker 1: to say normal, right, or everyday girl. I have noticed
Speaker 1: that in my lifetime, whether it's colleagues or people I
Speaker 1: run into, they think I'm crazy. They think I'm this
Speaker 1: wild person, right, And I want to show that I
Speaker 1: could do the same things you do. I'm relatable, but
Speaker 1: I could still have this crazy sex in my everyday life.
Speaker 1: But sex workers can do that. But the majority of
Speaker 1: our listeners that we want to attract are these, whether
Speaker 1: married couples, average teachers don't want to attract sex workers
Speaker 1: or I think that the people to the mass that
Speaker 1: sex workers to me won't think this is crazy. I
Speaker 1: want to show people that the things that we do
Speaker 1: aren't that outlandish or wild. I think that finding someone
Speaker 1: who's a sex worker is going to be immediately more
Speaker 1: liberal opposed to the everyday girl out there somewhere in
Speaker 1: the world that might hear this. I want to show
Speaker 1: that it's not that nuts. I love when at a
Speaker 1: doctor write me and tell me that she used the
Speaker 1: we vibe in the emergency room with the patient. Things
Speaker 1: like that, I want to come out more. So that's
Speaker 1: why when we say normal women corporate corporated like that,
Speaker 1: it's because it's not. It doesn't have to be a
Speaker 1: prostitute to go out and do fucking book hockey or
Speaker 1: have a gang bang or have a threesome. There's people
Speaker 1: out here doing this ship all the time. They could
Speaker 1: be working next to you, they could be serving you
Speaker 1: in a restaurant. It could be anybody. So when I
Speaker 1: know we make that analogy that we're just trying to
Speaker 1: say that we don't have to be this porn star
Speaker 1: chick to have porn star sex because I think people
Speaker 1: think that living these crazy lives, we can't be working
Speaker 1: in nine to five Mandy can't be in school, okay.
Speaker 1: But also what I hear you're saying was that if
Speaker 1: you're cular chick who does all these normal things, works five,
Speaker 1: goes to school or whatever, then you can't be a
Speaker 1: sex work. You can't be a prostitute. You keep saying
Speaker 1: you don't have to be a prostitute. I'm not saying.
Speaker 1: You know what, I mean, but I think that people
Speaker 1: attached the stories like this, don't They wouldn't They wouldn't
Speaker 1: think that, what's the craziest thing you've told one of
Speaker 1: the craziest stories, or me fucking that guy on Snapchat
Speaker 1: and then make any other ways to eat me out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would my fucking co workers think that I could
Speaker 1: do something like that. I mean, that's the thing though,
Speaker 1: can do well that you have a money, A lot
Speaker 1: of people who knows anything about sex and what people do,
Speaker 1: knows that people keep. Can you not say that's kinky?
Speaker 1: Is that kinky or is that some regular ship? No,
Speaker 1: it's kinky. Well, I've had a lot of friends come
Speaker 1: to me and it's like, oh my god. Like the
Speaker 1: fact that you two can come out and say that
Speaker 1: you do these things and express like your sexual It's
Speaker 1: made us open up and I feel like our conversations
Speaker 1: are maybe expected from people in the section industry because
Speaker 1: they have embraced their sexual freedom. They've done that. Unfortunately
Speaker 1: regular women and I don't even want to call us
Speaker 1: regular but okay, I'm not going to call us regular
Speaker 1: women who are not the majority. No women who are
Speaker 1: not in the sex industry. That often times are not
Speaker 1: as sexually free with their sexuality, with what they do
Speaker 1: behind closed doors as opposed to a woman who does
Speaker 1: it for a living. To people say I can't talk
Speaker 1: to anybody like this, I can't. I've never heard these
Speaker 1: things people. I don't have anyone that like, who's going
Speaker 1: to admit this? That does mean we're in a different box. Bro,
Speaker 1: you have to remember, I think that's bullshit. And I
Speaker 1: think saying these that sex workers are over in this
Speaker 1: box and we're over in this box, when I mean
Speaker 1: we are a different box. You're we're in a different
Speaker 1: box as to being more open minded. Are you going
Speaker 1: to tell me that people haven't listened to me or
Speaker 1: you talk about something. Wait, wait, you're saying you're in
Speaker 1: a different box and people that are mindset. Yes, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: that's fine. I thought you were saying you're And that's
Speaker 1: why not for you to not understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I think sex workers are in that box of being
Speaker 1: sexually expressive and whatever. I mean, the majority of people
Speaker 1: I don't believe they are. I'm sorry they're not. There's
Speaker 1: so that's why I mean, you're you have a podcast
Speaker 1: called Horrible Decisions, You're not like necessarily attracting the most
Speaker 1: like conservative like you are, but you're people that are
Speaker 1: interested in that. And to the first of all, first
Speaker 1: of all, I mean, I am. I'm criticizing you guys,
Speaker 1: and I think there's something to be said about that,
Speaker 1: especially because you literally have the word whore in your name,
Speaker 1: which is a slur, you know, like it's something that
Speaker 1: you shouldn't say, and we did this on purpose, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like you can say it if you know you're
Speaker 1: you're a subject to that. And the truth is that
Speaker 1: you know, women are subject to being called horse, whether
Speaker 1: they are really sex workers or just for being sexual.
Speaker 1: So it it is used on both people, but it's
Speaker 1: used a lot more and in worse ways on actual
Speaker 1: sex well even when we were coming up with the name.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember, but even so, and
Speaker 1: I G love that we're talking on this about the
Speaker 1: title of the Shell because we talked about not liking labels.
Speaker 1: So you did say that horror is a slur. It
Speaker 1: can be seen as a label. Women are called horse,
Speaker 1: So even adding the decisions behind it, you don't necessarily
Speaker 1: have to be a whore to make these type of
Speaker 1: decisions to something that you did could be seen that.
Speaker 1: I really like that people say they've done horrible decisions
Speaker 1: and had horrible decisions with their husbands or things like that,
Speaker 1: because I wanted to be this thing as you can
Speaker 1: listen to this and it doesn't have to be and
Speaker 1: that's why we've said we're not sex workers. It doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be strippers or prostitutes or escorts or porn
Speaker 1: stars to have done ship like this. You can do
Speaker 1: it too. You can go out and get on thrinder
Speaker 1: and meet what You can have these moments in your
Speaker 1: everyday lives, even if you're not open enough to say it,
Speaker 1: or you feel like you could have never done it,
Speaker 1: you could. That's why I think we try to say, hey,
Speaker 1: this is for you too, because I mean, yeah, and so,
Speaker 1: like I said, you guys do a lot of good stuff.
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of sex positivity on this podcast,
Speaker 1: and I'm very four and definitely a lot of peop
Speaker 1: we're listening to it and opening up and it's mostly
Speaker 1: really good. But there's also sometimes where you talk about
Speaker 1: it even in the name horrible decisions you're saying, but
Speaker 1: also you're saying they're horrible decisions like they're bad decisions
Speaker 1: that you're making and you're like saying, we're less but
Speaker 1: we kind of feel bad about it. It's crazy because
Speaker 1: I don't think we like and we've talked. We've talked
Speaker 1: about this even as our outline. She's like, when we
Speaker 1: try to think of horrible decisions. Well, I tell her
Speaker 1: all the time, not only that. I was like, Bro,
Speaker 1: they don't have to be looked down upon, like we're
Speaker 1: um embarrassed about it. I said, it could be a
Speaker 1: horrible decision that we enjoyed. Like I talked about the
Speaker 1: sex in the in the club where I ate two
Speaker 1: bitches out and it could have been seen by someone
Speaker 1: else's a horse. I enjoyed it. I wasn't embarrassed. I
Speaker 1: do it the funk again. So we've had this conversation
Speaker 1: when making outlines that because they're horrible decisions, let's not
Speaker 1: attach each once of feeling embarrassed or damn, we did
Speaker 1: that and we'll never do it again. Because I think
Speaker 1: throughout the show it's funny because we knew immediately when
Speaker 1: thinking we do this podcast, were the perfect people for it. Whatever,
Speaker 1: And throughout it there's been things like there was something
Speaker 1: um I brought up a porn star that many slept
Speaker 1: with that did gay porn, and the second porn star
Speaker 1: he's a model that did porn one time because he
Speaker 1: could looking and he made the money for And that's
Speaker 1: even the thing you know you're saying, you don't like, no, no, no, no, all. Second,
Speaker 1: the show was over, right, I just wanted to bring
Speaker 1: up this point when the show was over, She's like,
Speaker 1: what the funk? We weren't going to bring that up.
Speaker 1: So just to say, like somebody as open as you,
Speaker 1: and I think you're more open on the show than I.
Speaker 1: We all realize we have these little like why like
Speaker 1: why didn't you want to tell you? Because episode whatever
Speaker 1: that was fairly in the beginning, and but it's our
Speaker 1: own And that's just the point to say, we all
Speaker 1: have these little subconscious insecurities that we can't let everything
Speaker 1: that's weird. There's things I you and me both haven't
Speaker 1: said on the show yet. They were like, man, not yet?
Speaker 1: Why is it the fear of being judged? Is it
Speaker 1: the fear of being looked up more as horrors? And
Speaker 1: that's the thing that we're learning as we grow this show,
Speaker 1: like there are parts of us and which is why
Speaker 1: you hear mistakes like that where we still and I
Speaker 1: think it comes from being to corporate women that want
Speaker 1: to still be respected in that way, concerned with how
Speaker 1: you know other people see you, and in some ways
Speaker 1: you're not especially you. You know. It's one thing I
Speaker 1: could tell from you the very first time I met you,
Speaker 1: that you didn't give a funk about what other people
Speaker 1: thought about you. You're gonna be yourself, but under that
Speaker 1: there's still some You're still aware, You're very sensitive. This
Speaker 1: is what it is. And now I know it, now
Speaker 1: that you've said it, I absolutely and like that when
Speaker 1: people meet me. But now the other people could judge
Speaker 1: me and I have to see it. That is really hard.
Speaker 1: It is hard because I really don't care and see,
Speaker 1: but now that I got to read it, I'm just
Speaker 1: like and see. For me, I've been people said behind
Speaker 1: my back ever, but now that it's in my face
Speaker 1: is hard. And see I've seen it all the time,
Speaker 1: like I've been dragged, oh my god, on Twitter, on Instagram,
Speaker 1: on I've been on the social platform since two thousand
Speaker 1: nine ten, from Twitter, from modeling, from being a blogger,
Speaker 1: from then writing a book to you know, now having
Speaker 1: a podcast. So I feel like I always been open
Speaker 1: to criticism and seeing it. So I've kind of had
Speaker 1: to make a harder shell than most because you haven't
Speaker 1: had this platform where now it's it's strangers, that's not
Speaker 1: just Orlando anymore. Orlando people sitting here and talk to
Speaker 1: you about behind your back and you don't know. We're
Speaker 1: not on a global platform where you have people who've
Speaker 1: never met you and they only know what we've said
Speaker 1: in an hour show. And it's just like, now you
Speaker 1: have people that think they know you, and now they
Speaker 1: think that they can pass. I'm gradually upset. We had
Speaker 1: a review that said Mandy mentioned the good hair thing,
Speaker 1: and I got upset Mandy because I'm reading it, like, no, bro,
Speaker 1: this is Mandy. If anything, I wanted to make this
Speaker 1: podcast more of like open to anybody. She's like, no,
Speaker 1: this is going to be a black podcast, period, And
Speaker 1: I was like, do you really think it is? I mean,
Speaker 1: it was crazy because when I read it, I was like,
Speaker 1: now it's making us sound like we think we're superior
Speaker 1: because we're mixed. Like you just never know what someone
Speaker 1: will take from what you say, and so you're right
Speaker 1: where I don't give a fucking my everyday life. Now
Speaker 1: that it's become this like business almost, I'm like I
Speaker 1: can't handle it. And unfortunately, like yeah there is and
Speaker 1: a right like whatever. Someone called me a horror who cares?
Speaker 1: But now you're like putting it out there with your
Speaker 1: user name, like you suck at this. But even in
Speaker 1: in touch too well, And I told you so. I
Speaker 1: got really upset, even about the good hair comment. He
Speaker 1: was like, I think we should talk about this, and
Speaker 1: I said, Butch, I'm not talking about it. I I don't
Speaker 1: give a funk. Nobody say da dada, like I'm black
Speaker 1: and white. I literally cried the second episode or so,
Speaker 1: I had a breakdown because I wanted to wear braids
Speaker 1: because I was going to Miami. But I work in
Speaker 1: a very conservative, corporate America job and I am the
Speaker 1: only black person on the floor. Regardless of me being
Speaker 1: half black or not, I'm black to everyone else. And
Speaker 1: I literally had a breakdown about wearing braids to work.
Speaker 1: So to see that this comment was you made a
Speaker 1: comment of having good hair because your mama was white,
Speaker 1: I was just like, I wear a weave, I wear braids.
Speaker 1: I have the same issues as anyone who's full black
Speaker 1: because I have these stereotypes. You know, I'm black enough,
Speaker 1: and so I feel like I was very hurt that
Speaker 1: someone would even feel like we think we're superior. And
Speaker 1: we talked about she just asked for edge control, why
Speaker 1: she work out, how does she keep her edges down?
Speaker 1: So for someone to think like that, we're thinking we're
Speaker 1: superior about them again in the comments, and I think
Speaker 1: to your point and start like, we just got a
Speaker 1: little too deep. We did. We think I still want
Speaker 1: this like one little piece of respect and to me
Speaker 1: my own securities with some of the more horrible things
Speaker 1: I've done, it'll be like, nah, you took it over
Speaker 1: the edge. Yeah, like you know, and it's stupid, but
Speaker 1: I mean, and and when and when it's like not
Speaker 1: to invalidate our feelings, but stupid to think that we
Speaker 1: could be so open with this name, with this podcast
Speaker 1: of putting it out there, but not that one fucking thing.
Speaker 1: And still yeah, well, I mean, you know, whatever, if
Speaker 1: if it's your personal life that you're not comfortable sharing
Speaker 1: on the show, that's totally up to you, and that's
Speaker 1: totally fine. You shouldn't feel like you have to be
Speaker 1: totally open about everything about yourself on the show. That
Speaker 1: you don't owe that to anyone, but I think you
Speaker 1: still you're coming out in your own head. The reason
Speaker 1: you're not comfortable sharing it isn't just because of other
Speaker 1: what other people will think about you, but you kind
Speaker 1: of feel like maybe it's actually not good, you know,
Speaker 1: like this guy for doing that, he wrote, He wrote,
Speaker 1: Weezy was like, so, are you just gonna whore yourself
Speaker 1: out for this podcast? Like this whole podcast? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know you saw the comment. Yeah, he was just
Speaker 1: trying to get in your pants. That's really all that
Speaker 1: was about. Because he said, oh, I know you got
Speaker 1: He was like acting like you care give a funk
Speaker 1: about what he thinks about you. He was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: he's like a rich successful men like me, like women
Speaker 1: that are open like you guys. But I don't want
Speaker 1: you to be a horror because I still want you
Speaker 1: to be good for me. It's like, it was like,
Speaker 1: but I just I just think that when you guys
Speaker 1: have this kind of show, you know, with horror in
Speaker 1: your name and everything you're talking about, um, you know,
Speaker 1: being pro sex and open about this, I think you
Speaker 1: should also be really clear that you support sex workers
Speaker 1: and sex worker rights and maybe have like some sex
Speaker 1: workers on here, so we have to do that. I
Speaker 1: know you have had some, but even maybe some that
Speaker 1: are really involved with like sex worker Rice and dealing
Speaker 1: with issues and like police brutality and police harassment and
Speaker 1: all the you know stuff that goes on with that.
Speaker 1: There's really some really good I'm really glad we had
Speaker 1: this conversation. Although masculinity sounded, you know, interesting, this was
Speaker 1: a really kind of Yeah, we're gonna have to bring
Speaker 1: you back on because I love looking at hippie Jesus.
Speaker 1: Across the table there was a guy addressed to Jesus
Speaker 1: as at the at the Meadows, and I was like,
Speaker 1: you were doing it wrong, right for sure? Yeah. I
Speaker 1: I always mentioned James on this show. I think you
Speaker 1: probably heard me se he your name a few times
Speaker 1: where um, there's a lot of times where like people
Speaker 1: will say like white devils and ship like that. I
Speaker 1: used to too, but now I can't because I know
Speaker 1: James and rides a little harder for black folks that
Speaker 1: I have probably do you can. That's the thing. I
Speaker 1: gave you even more permission to say that, Like I'm white,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yes, they are, Like white white people
Speaker 1: are the devil. Yeah the trash. Well, I hold you
Speaker 1: guys enjoyed UM episode. This was y'all wanted over an hour.
Speaker 1: Y'all got over an hour. Guy, Damn, UM, here you go,
Speaker 1: probably only eight minutes over an hour, but y'all, UM,
Speaker 1: we're working on it. UM. Well, I'm really glad that
Speaker 1: we had this conversation. I would love to hear you
Speaker 1: guys thoughts and feedbacks UM on this specific episode. I
Speaker 1: think everything on this episode with everybody's gonna like he
Speaker 1: read yours. Um, you guys can always um hashtag Horrible
Speaker 1: Decisions on Twitter. Clearly I keep up with it and
Speaker 1: I'm responding back to you guys. UM. You can also
Speaker 1: reach us on our Horrible Decisions Instagram at Horrible Underscore Decisions,
Speaker 1: and email us your wholemail. We ain't get through one
Speaker 1: this episode, but you know we love reading your things
Speaker 1: and giving you all advice. So email us at Horrible
Speaker 1: Decisions at gmail dot com and where can they reach you?
Speaker 1: Just on Instagram and y'all can find me on Twitter
Speaker 1: and Instagram at full core Pumps. Thank you guys so
Speaker 1: very much. This has been another episode of Horrible Decisions.
Speaker 1: By Bye