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Speaker 1: If you guys that we have a very very serious announcement.

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Speaker 1: I'm pregnant, right have boyfriend? Now that's even a bigger joke. No,

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Speaker 1: we have a live show, Horrible Decisions coming to you love. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we are coming to New York. Well I guess just

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Speaker 1: you know, taking the train there and so yeah, it

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Speaker 1: is going to be brought to you by Cast Sound

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Speaker 1: lab Our Studio right here in Brooklyn, New York, where

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Speaker 1: we're recording from today. It's going to be me, Mandy,

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Speaker 1: some of your favorite guests that were on the show

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Speaker 1: might be there, you know, not going to tell you

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be super exciting. Guys. Um, you can check

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Speaker 1: the details out in the description of this episode, and

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Speaker 1: we will also be posting the link where you can

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Speaker 1: purchase tickets on our personal instagrams as well as the

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Speaker 1: Horrible Decisions Instagram that's at Horrible Underscore Decisions for details. So,

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Speaker 1: if you have somebody that you want to bring with you,

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Speaker 1: whether it be your home, rule, because you'll need to

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Speaker 1: learn how to suck dick together. I think we should

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Speaker 1: do a banana like thing. Maybe maybe that just came

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Speaker 1: to me that we should have a dick st No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: my mom might come. Your mom is gonna be there

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Speaker 1: and she knows you start dick, so I think that

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Speaker 1: would be awesome and I'm excited to see I could

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Speaker 1: do a good handshop one. Everybody says I could do

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Speaker 1: a really good hand work. I'm serious. We could, um,

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Speaker 1: but we wanted to be really interactive. Maybe one of

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Speaker 1: you guys we could do a dick sucking context. But

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Speaker 1: we have a raffle. Mandy's not really for this, but um,

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Speaker 1: it's a threesome raffle where you can win a date

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Speaker 1: with us. We don't know what might end up happening,

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Speaker 1: but we will buy you drinks. UM. Again. The details

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Speaker 1: will be in the description of this episode as well

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Speaker 1: as our social media. So hope to see you guys there.

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Speaker 1: So you might not know who this is, but we

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Speaker 1: don't love us. Yeah. Yeah. You probably hear me play

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Speaker 1: this all the time, UM on my Instagram and Snap,

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Speaker 1: especially when I'm tired of a hope. Maybe sometimes you

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Speaker 1: energy cast spells and my cousin that's Princess Nokia. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you'll know who that is, but she

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Speaker 1: is amazing. You've probably seen her videos like reposted. She

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Speaker 1: talks about like energies and like gentrification. She's just a ship.

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Speaker 1: So check out her album. It's on iTunes, it's I

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Speaker 1: follow her on Instagram. She's super cute. I haven't gotten

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Speaker 1: into her. She's not my type of fourteen bit why

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Speaker 1: she's just not I have my type of music. She

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Speaker 1: had a really cool like documentary things that was bombed

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Speaker 1: where she's from, and she's like a don't shave your

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Speaker 1: arm pits or like type of I think I saw that.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I wasn't buying into it. Welcome guys

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Speaker 1: to horrible decisions. I'm wheezy, and this is your girl,

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Speaker 1: Mandy B. And we have a great friend of mine

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Speaker 1: in the house, James. He is he listened to everyone

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Speaker 1: where episodes like, I mean, I think that makes me

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Speaker 1: feel okay. I think I think I have everyone. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm probably your biggest fan. I guess James will text

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Speaker 1: me in the middle of the day and be like,

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Speaker 1: are you fucking serious? You guys think, but I'm like,

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Speaker 1: all right, UM. So we brought James on today because

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Speaker 1: we wanted james perspective on a lot of different topics

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Speaker 1: that we brought out brought up throughout the show, and

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Speaker 1: because we're always discussing it. He wanted to put his

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Speaker 1: input on there. Um, James is a divorced x Christian

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Speaker 1: pan sexual mail And for our listeners who don't know

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Speaker 1: what a pan sexual is, do you want to kind

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Speaker 1: of touch him on that? Yeah, I mean pan sexuality

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Speaker 1: is it's you know, some people say bisexual or pan

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Speaker 1: sexual or the same kind of thing. Pan Sexual is

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Speaker 1: just a way of saying if you say bisexual, then

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Speaker 1: you're like saying there are two genders. And that's what

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Speaker 1: I'm dealing with. Pan Sexual is about saying, my attraction

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Speaker 1: isn't based on gender, It's based on other things. So

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Speaker 1: people that are you know, trans or gender nonconforming or

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Speaker 1: non binary. You know, that's I'm attracted to people not

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Speaker 1: necessarily gender now, like practically obviously there's a scale, and

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Speaker 1: I definitely fall more towards the straighter end of things,

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Speaker 1: but also very attracted to like androgynous people and people

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Speaker 1: that are kind of, you know, not fulfilling certain gender roles.

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Speaker 1: And the most women that I've seen you attracted to.

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Speaker 1: It's funny James was showing me the picture of this

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Speaker 1: girl he was sucking that had like the snake bike

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Speaker 1: tongue and like very boy girl look. And I was like, well, okay, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm more of a like Beyonce Rihanna type

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Speaker 1: of loving health. I have a question actually about that.

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Speaker 1: So I have a He's oll referred him as an

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Speaker 1: associate we speak, but he's pan sexual and he just

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Speaker 1: got divorced from a transgender woman. Um, but he also

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Speaker 1: dates women in his personal life, but does gay porn,

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Speaker 1: so with that, so he is into kind of and

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Speaker 1: he described it to me as he doesn't attach himself

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Speaker 1: to any specific gender. So if he likes a male,

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Speaker 1: a female, a transgender, he just likes a person as

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Speaker 1: a person. Is that kind of okay? That's that's a

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Speaker 1: good way to describe it, because it's about, you know,

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Speaker 1: interacting with a person, like I can recognize that my

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Speaker 1: you know, my tendencies and my likes skew towards a

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Speaker 1: certain thing, but like that doesn't when you're interacting with

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Speaker 1: people and dealing with people in relationships, like there's always

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Speaker 1: gonna be more things going on than that, and more

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Speaker 1: things you're attracted to than you know, somebody's gender. So

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Speaker 1: is it more of an emotional connection and not a

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Speaker 1: sexual connection? Because with sexuality, aren't you turned on by

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Speaker 1: certain you know most of them? But if you're talking

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Speaker 1: about a relationship that you're gonna have with someone, that's

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Speaker 1: it's a combination of sexual and emotional and friendship things, okay,

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Speaker 1: and like it's not necessarily going to be just about sex.

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Speaker 1: And I think I'm more bisexual because I I know,

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Speaker 1: I like a girl for being a girl more than

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Speaker 1: I like feel people out, Like when I see you

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Speaker 1: women like I recognize them for being sexy women or

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Speaker 1: sexy men. It's this very divided thing where I think

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Speaker 1: the way I've heard pan sexual people describe it, it's like,

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Speaker 1: oh wow, I really their energy or they had this

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Speaker 1: that was sexy about them, Like, no talk about them

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Speaker 1: like their gender. Okay, So when you date, I hate

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Speaker 1: that we're already hopping into the interview here. I didn't

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Speaker 1: mean to. But when you date, how do you identify

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Speaker 1: to someone? You said you lean towards more women. Now,

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Speaker 1: some women would possibly have an issue with you saying,

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Speaker 1: but I've also been attracted to men. How do you

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Speaker 1: come forth in the dating serie? How what happens now?

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Speaker 1: Because you're newly dating your recently yea, how do you

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Speaker 1: explain that to someone. I kind of don't, first of all,

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Speaker 1: because like goes you know further. But I mean I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't really be seriously interested in someone if they had

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Speaker 1: an issue with dating a guy that has been with

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Speaker 1: guys like that would be agree yes, like uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: a deal breaker right there to begin with. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I would really, honestly even probably want

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Speaker 1: to be in a serious relationship with a straight woman,

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Speaker 1: with a woman that wasn't like at least a little

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Speaker 1: bit really why, Um, I don't know, first of all,

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Speaker 1: because I would feel weird like she would. And also

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Speaker 1: I'm just you know, like, what do you think about

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Speaker 1: when you know you watched Insecure? What do you think

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Speaker 1: when you saw Molly trip over the diving by. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's that's just like homophobia, like your

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Speaker 1: your prejudice against you think it's because you want to

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Speaker 1: have masculinity conversation. Okay, Yeah, we're definitely gonna have a

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Speaker 1: great conversation. Do you want to get into the Kick

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Speaker 1: of the Week. Yeah, so awesome. James is here, Um,

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Speaker 1: because we went to meadows or whatever, so all I

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Speaker 1: wanted to do with the future and I'm like, Damn,

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Speaker 1: I don't know who's getting enough to go see I

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Speaker 1: know you would, but I don't know if you want

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Speaker 1: to go to like a whole day thing. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: don't like festivals or outfit and things like we went

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Speaker 1: to UM. I went to Made in America last year

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Speaker 1: with my friend and we had free tickets and everything.

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Speaker 1: Of course I like Jake Cole, so we watched Big

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Speaker 1: Sean j Cole by the time Beyonce. I think we

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Speaker 1: actually love to watch Beyonce on titled because we was

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Speaker 1: just so tired. Was like, I don't know and listen.

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Speaker 1: We were even like in the like duck all part

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Speaker 1: of the statue area. If you've been to Made in America,

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Speaker 1: you know there's a statue where they put like all

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Speaker 1: the guests and stuff. And me, me and my friend

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Speaker 1: looked at each other like are you ready to And

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Speaker 1: we have done I don't know how many festivals we've

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Speaker 1: all done together, but who traveled for festivals together? All

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Speaker 1: of us and took a lot. James is one on

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Speaker 1: one next week in Atlanta. But I was gonna say

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Speaker 1: one thing I know that you and I can both appreciate,

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Speaker 1: which is the difference between friends that I would invite

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Speaker 1: to festivals or concerts. I can listen to music that

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Speaker 1: I don't know and I'll be all right. And I

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Speaker 1: like hearing newer music like there was when there's some

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Speaker 1: weirder bands or ship like that. I like finding newer

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Speaker 1: music at festivals, oppost even clicking on it on Apple

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, this is live. I like the vibe

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Speaker 1: um anyway. So while he's been here, we were sitting

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Speaker 1: down trying to think of a kink of the week,

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Speaker 1: and I came across this one while we were in Romen.

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Speaker 1: It's called frauderism, and it is a paraphilic interest in rubbing,

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Speaker 1: usually one's pelvic area or a wreck penis, against a

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Speaker 1: non consenting person for sexual pleasure. It may involve touching

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Speaker 1: any part of the body, including genital area. Have you

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Speaker 1: that you have rubbed yourself up against a guy that

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Speaker 1: didn't want you to. I'm mean I dry hump like

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Speaker 1: all of my friends, somewhat non consenting bro, that's like

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Speaker 1: a non consenting stranger. It's a very specific. I've done

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Speaker 1: it well. I think you know what's crazy. This actually

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Speaker 1: reminds me of If you live in New York, there

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Speaker 1: is a message that goes off in the subway or

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Speaker 1: actually there's a sign that says, well not only that,

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Speaker 1: Like you know, just because it's tight in the train,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't give a person that, you know, sexual whatever.

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Speaker 1: Think about that in the train, Like I felt a

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Speaker 1: hard dick on my butt before, and it's like, I

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Speaker 1: know it's packed, I know we're scrunched there, but this

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Speaker 1: is making me feel uncomfortable to where I've had to

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Speaker 1: put my purse behind me and I know that guy. Yeah, bro,

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Speaker 1: Like there's definitely guys on the train, And now that

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Speaker 1: I know it's a fetish, now I'm really gonna be

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Speaker 1: covering my ass on the train. When you remember when

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Speaker 1: I was coming here to the studio with my mom

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Speaker 1: and the train moved quick and I grabbed the guy's

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Speaker 1: dick instead of said yeah, so like I was literally

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Speaker 1: about a fault. I was leaning against the where they

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Speaker 1: say don't lean against the sliding doors, don't lean against

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Speaker 1: the door, but they reopened it before I felt I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to grab anything, and I thought I was

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Speaker 1: going to grab his bell or sure, but I grabbed

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Speaker 1: his dick and I held on so terrible my mom

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Speaker 1: complain about it. He like looked really offered and laughed

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Speaker 1: and then my mom goes, oh, I'm her mother. She's sorry. What. Um, so, James,

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Speaker 1: have you done that? Is that something that? No? No,

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Speaker 1: that's yeah, that's a kink. I don't think is I

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Speaker 1: mean like, I've been at concerts where it's really packed

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Speaker 1: and you know, girls have to walk by and rub

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Speaker 1: the boobs against me. But that's not my I'm intentionally

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Speaker 1: in a bar though, rubbed my chest against somebody, but

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Speaker 1: someone that you may have thought was hot. But it

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Speaker 1: didn't arouse you to do that, right, You just did

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Speaker 1: it just to do what I turn me on. Really yep,

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Speaker 1: so let's get about me. So actually, um yeah, so

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Speaker 1: James has a quick story about are we just you

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Speaker 1: like skip the home mail and ship. I'm just like, okay,

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Speaker 1: because kind of goes with the kinke of the week.

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Speaker 1: Actually at least it doesn't. Yes, I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: tell the story at all, dude, Okay, No, he really

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Speaker 1: wanted to bring it up because it's consent. There was

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Speaker 1: clear consent in this story. Alright, fine, argumentative, but he

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Speaker 1: knows in this story, James noticed that there's a trend

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Speaker 1: in our shows where we talk about p a lot,

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Speaker 1: and so you always ask we have mentioned, well, you

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Speaker 1: know what, what's crazy? Sometimes we haven't brought it up.

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Speaker 1: So even when we had Jada nexton, he's like he

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Speaker 1: he pissed in someone's mouth, and I'm just like, okay,

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Speaker 1: here we go and piss again. Like I mean, we've

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Speaker 1: an episode and she's like I said something about that.

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Speaker 1: She's like, we have to stop talking about Like we

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Speaker 1: have to stop bringing it up. It's not gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: And then for a while, toes and feet were a thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, can we not bring this up every episode?

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Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, everyone's gonna think we have feet fetish that

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Speaker 1: we don't and piss fetishes. I just love hearing that

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Speaker 1: nigg is be really doing patient Like it's just it's like,

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Speaker 1: let's just open up the doors, okay. Like like, so

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Speaker 1: my story this takes place around Halloween, I think a

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Speaker 1: couple of years ago. Um, but I was at a

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Speaker 1: party and um, this girl that I had been seeing

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Speaker 1: a little bit before texted me and said that she

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Speaker 1: was downtown and she said, if you want to take

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Speaker 1: me home, I'll willingly go home with you. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, okay, that sounds good. So I go to

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Speaker 1: pick her up, and I was already kind of a

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Speaker 1: little bit drunk from the party. And we get together

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Speaker 1: and I'm with her friends and I can see she's

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Speaker 1: like kind of drunk, and they're like, no, you should

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Speaker 1: come home with us, and she's like, no, I'm going.

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Speaker 1: So we went and I took her home. We're like

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Speaker 1: fooling around on the way back, and and then you know,

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Speaker 1: we're kind of messing around in the room and she's

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Speaker 1: like pretty much naked, and she runs out of my

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Speaker 1: room and I live with other people, so she throws

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Speaker 1: out into the thing, just naked into the bathroom and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, this is fine, it's like two in the

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Speaker 1: morning whatever. And then she comes back and then as

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Speaker 1: we're having sex, I can see she's like a little

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Speaker 1: more drunk than maybe she should be. And then I realized,

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Speaker 1: oh shit, she is not Now did you come? I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was. It was close to that point already. She

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Speaker 1: was not conscious, I guess at that point, but I

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Speaker 1: mean she was conscious when we started, but once she did,

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Speaker 1: I mean, what do you think do you think Manny

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Speaker 1: that if you are are you agreed to it? But

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Speaker 1: then fall asleep. Is that consent? I mean, I didn't

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Speaker 1: like I think it was like you you already say it.

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Speaker 1: Actually I think it is. I mean it's a gray area.

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Speaker 1: I didn't feel great about it. But she was enthusiastically

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Speaker 1: consenting up until the point where she just went to

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Speaker 1: sleep or was She said she was wasted. That's not consent.

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Speaker 1: It's not consent. And I'll say it's because I've had

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Speaker 1: a similar situation where I may be really flirty with

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Speaker 1: somebody and say, oh my god, did it out of

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Speaker 1: me being drunk? Of it? If I if I passed out,

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Speaker 1: don't touch me, bro. But no, this is what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: They were awake when they were we had This was

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Speaker 1: not the first time we had sex either. This is

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Speaker 1: we've had x before. She called me, told me she

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Speaker 1: wanted to come. She was completely conscious, just drunk. We

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Speaker 1: were making happy stuff, and then we're having sex. She

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Speaker 1: was completely wake while we're in the middle of having sex,

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Speaker 1: which isn't like a great thing. That's an ego, like

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Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. No, because here's what I gotta tell. I

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Speaker 1: gotta tell the rest of this story. So we fall

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Speaker 1: asleep whatever you know. The next morning, she wakes up, like,

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Speaker 1: gets out of bed really quickly, like grabs her stuff

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Speaker 1: and seems kind of like a little flustered. Then walk

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Speaker 1: goes out to have a cigarette and I walked outside

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Speaker 1: and she's like, dude, we have sex last night. Yep.

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Speaker 1: And I take her home, go back to my place,

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Speaker 1: and then I like sit on my bed and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: wait a minute, what's why is this wet? And I'm like, wait,

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Speaker 1: this is really wet. I'm like, that bitch pete in

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Speaker 1: my bed. Let me hasty. Because we had us story,

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Speaker 1: you have to smell it to confirm. Well, that was

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Speaker 1: part of the thing. I was like, what does that smell?

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Speaker 1: And then I felt my bed and so did you

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Speaker 1: tell her? Hey, you pissed in my bed? How did

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Speaker 1: that conversation? That's what I said, question? Yeah, I think so, Yeah, No,

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Speaker 1: I didn't tell her. You didn't tell her that she

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Speaker 1: pet in your bed? No, Like, what is she going to?

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Speaker 1: Oh the guy I never wrote her and she never

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Speaker 1: wrote him? Is that what you never called her back? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Kind of wow, missed three weeks ago, so this is

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Speaker 1: not even the end of the story. So I get back.

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Speaker 1: I had a date that night with another girl, and

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Speaker 1: so I'm like trying to dry it out. I got

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Speaker 1: like paper towels the target and buy a ship ton

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Speaker 1: of a breeze and all this ship. That's when I've

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Speaker 1: got a fan blowing on it. That's what you just

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Speaker 1: tell her. You like couch sex, and I tried. I

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Speaker 1: tried to her on the floor, and I mean, I

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Speaker 1: like sex on the floor. But anyway, so I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to do it on the edge of the bed. She

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Speaker 1: felt that the story and I said, oh, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I spilled a glass of water. I thought it was

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Speaker 1: daft another vision. Bed, Oh god, that's bad. Um, so, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that wasn't the horrible decision. We are not trying to

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Speaker 1: make it about pe every week, but that was my

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Speaker 1: horrible decision. That was pretty good, Bed, that's a pretty

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Speaker 1: horrible She didn't have consent there, she did so fucking

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Speaker 1: on someone else's miss. I agree. So the horrible decision

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Speaker 1: this week is married marital dating. I was about to say,

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Speaker 1: Mary a dating, I'm sorry we've went out last night.

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Speaker 1: Uh yeah, So married dating came up because, um, James

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Speaker 1: used to be married. I wanted to date within his marriage.

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Speaker 1: Mandy talks about dating married men and I just wanted

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Speaker 1: to bring you two together and discuss it because you've

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Speaker 1: got someone who's married, but more honest, the guys that

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Speaker 1: you're dating that are married, are they honest with their

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Speaker 1: Wife're not honest with their wives? Now, mother, Um, so

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Speaker 1: let's talk about monogamy in your relationship. So your marriage

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Speaker 1: didn't work out. What when did you realize you didn't

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Speaker 1: want to be monogamous? Um? Probably pretty early on. But

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Speaker 1: I think the issue really was I was coming from

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Speaker 1: this background of a very conservative religious, evangelical Christian home,

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Speaker 1: So everything I was taught when I was younger was that,

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Speaker 1: you know, um, women basically women don't really enjoy sex

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Speaker 1: so and men do. So that women only enjoy like

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Speaker 1: their recreation part of it, you know, or they should

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Speaker 1: if they do enjoy sex, and there's something wrong with

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Speaker 1: them basically, or they can only enjoy it in marriage.

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Speaker 1: And even then they kind of started believing that ship

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Speaker 1: more recently because they're influenced by like the feminist and

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Speaker 1: pro sex movement. That's the thing of a female enjoy

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Speaker 1: sex and they look at her like you're a man eater,

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Speaker 1: You're you think like a nigger, you like. For that reason,

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Speaker 1: it was I was always taught that for men to

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Speaker 1: want sex with a woman outside of a of a

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Speaker 1: married relationship is a really wrong thing, and you're doing

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Speaker 1: a horrible thing to that woman, even if she seems

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Speaker 1: like she's enjoys it, or she actually when you wanted

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Speaker 1: to be non monogamous, is it because because I know

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Speaker 1: you love your wife, I've heard you talk to talk

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Speaker 1: about her in that way. What why did you want

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Speaker 1: to start sleeping with um? I don't know. To me,

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Speaker 1: the thing, like how I would describe it is that

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Speaker 1: to me, sex and relationships and friendships are not They're

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Speaker 1: all kind of equal things. Like you could have I

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Speaker 1: could have a sexual relationship with someone that I was

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Speaker 1: friends with and not romantic with, or and I have

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Speaker 1: had that, or I've had sexual relationships you know that

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Speaker 1: I don't have a friendship with this person at all,

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Speaker 1: like I only want to have sex with them and

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Speaker 1: absolutely see them otherwise. Or you know, you can have

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Speaker 1: someone that you're really close and you have all those

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Speaker 1: three things with, but that doesn't mean even if you

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Speaker 1: have that someone that you're a really close friend with,

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Speaker 1: it you really love, you really love having sex with

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Speaker 1: them a lot. That doesn't mean you're never gonna want

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Speaker 1: to have sex with someone else, or if you do,

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Speaker 1: then that negates anything you have with when you had

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Speaker 1: those feelings being in that crazy religious Sorry it's sucking nuts. H.

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Speaker 1: Did you think, Okay, I don't love do I want

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Speaker 1: to leave my wife too? Was there ever that I never?

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00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 1: I never felt like that. I always you know, loved her.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to stay with her, I wanted to be

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Speaker 1: with her. That was never what I was questioning. I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to, um, you know, be with other people,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted her to be with other people. And

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Speaker 1: really mostly what it was about I think was just

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Speaker 1: she was so like jealous and possessive and insecure about me.

385
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Speaker 1: Like if I ever like like I was never like

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Speaker 1: flirtatious or anything. I didn't even really have like other

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00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:28,480
Speaker 1: like female friends or anything that was close with at all.

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Speaker 1: But like if I would ever even like look at

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Speaker 1: something or make any kind of comment about any woman

390
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 1: looking attractive or whatever, like it would set her off.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that women can drive their men to

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Speaker 1: other women by doing that? Um, I mean women can

393
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Speaker 1: create a bad relationship and which will make more likely

394
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Speaker 1: for men to go out. But I don't think that's

395
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 1: what it is. I mean, she didn't drive me to

396
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Speaker 1: do that and I was never close to doing that.

397
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:55,240
Speaker 1: So like, and see how he can dad relationships. That's

398
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,880
Speaker 1: a great and how he explained his relationship. And men

399
00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:00,360
Speaker 1: will always blame women like, oh you did this, just

400
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,200
Speaker 1: just just that made me do it, Like you can

401
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:05,120
Speaker 1: create maybe tension, but it's not your fault. Well even well,

402
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 1: I mean I think also when you do have a

403
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Speaker 1: monogaous relationship that both people agreed to be monogamous and

404
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,400
Speaker 1: then one person cheats, like that is a form of abuse,

405
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,960
Speaker 1: like within the relationship because you're expecting something from someone

406
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,040
Speaker 1: that you're not willing to give yourself, and you're not

407
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Speaker 1: being honest with that person. And that's what's really the

408
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,439
Speaker 1: problem with that, and that's why cheating is bad. But

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Speaker 1: a lot of people, even you know, guys that say

410
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Speaker 1: they want that or say they want to open relationship,

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00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 1: most of the time they're still really insecure and they

412
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:34,160
Speaker 1: aren't comfortable with their you know, significant other stepping out

413
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Speaker 1: on them with their women. Were you did mean that

414
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 1: when you wanted her to sleep with other men? But

415
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,680
Speaker 1: did you want it because you wanted to other people?

416
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,840
Speaker 1: I mean, I both both, but I wanted her to.

417
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Speaker 1: I wanted her to see that she could fun someone

418
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Speaker 1: else and it didn't negate everything in our relationship, and

419
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Speaker 1: I wanted her to see that wanting to suck other

420
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Speaker 1: people doesn't mean that I don't love you. Um, but

421
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 1: it was kind of weird because she was mostly interested

422
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Speaker 1: in sucking women, and I just thought that was hot.

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Speaker 1: So I wasn't really I like that answer though, because no,

424
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 1: when so the guys that you're dating that are married,

425
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 1: that's what what are you thinking right now? Because I

426
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,120
Speaker 1: was trying to say it as he was on that topic,

427
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 1: because I know what I want you to cut them

428
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,440
Speaker 1: off and I didn't, and I didn't actually you cut

429
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,440
Speaker 1: me off. So I was trying to relate exactly since

430
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,400
Speaker 1: this was supposed to be. I hope you guys are fine,

431
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 1: because this is going to be bouncing off of each

432
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 1: other conversation, So please don't feel like we're all interrupting

433
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 1: to Jesus, I was trying to. I'm just saying I

434
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 1: was trying to relate it right as that he was

435
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:37,920
Speaker 1: bringing it off up in each other like we were

436
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 1: trying to. You were trying to tell a difference and

437
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 1: what he was talking about in terms of him wanting

438
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 1: to step out of his relationship but completely still be

439
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 1: in his marriage because he had those um sexual connections,

440
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 1: the emotional connection, the friendship with his wife. Those are

441
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,760
Speaker 1: the type of men that I have dealt with. They're

442
00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:00,480
Speaker 1: not they're not with me looking to leave their wives.

443
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 1: They're they're completely happy in the relationship they have with

444
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 1: their wives. But there may be something, whether it's sex,

445
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,919
Speaker 1: whether it's a conversation that they like having with me

446
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 1: more than you know. It's literally like and I won't

447
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 1: say his name, but there's one and we're able to

448
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 1: bounce off ideas as far as businesses. He's very creative

449
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 1: and what he wants to do, and he genuinely just

450
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: likes those conversations with me that he knows. He his

451
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,200
Speaker 1: wife maybe either doesn't care about doesn't know the business

452
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 1: he just doesn't have he can't have those conversations. Where

453
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 1: do you ever feel at that point? Because that would

454
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 1: be my issue, and maybe that's because I am a

455
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 1: more more emotional person than you do. You ever has

456
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 1: there been a moment, honestly where you felt used? So

457
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,880
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie if and I've told this to many,

458
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: many women who choose to deal in this. If you

459
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 1: choose to deal with a married man or a man

460
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,880
Speaker 1: who is taken, I don't feel like you should ever

461
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,399
Speaker 1: go into it thinking that you can take the number.

462
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 1: And that's the thing. I don't think you have to

463
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,680
Speaker 1: necessarily think that for you to then feel to use. Well,

464
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,639
Speaker 1: I don't feel used because I make it benefit me.

465
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,919
Speaker 1: So I enjoy the relationship, but I make it a

466
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 1: monetary game. I'm not gonna lie. I sit here and

467
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,400
Speaker 1: tell man like you married, she's kept, she ain't gotta

468
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 1: worry about bills, how she's living. If you want to

469
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: build that relationship with me, I need you to do

470
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 1: that for me. So I need to know if I

471
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 1: need tuition paid, you got it. If I need my

472
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 1: bills paid, you got it. I'm not getting into a

473
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 1: relationship that I know essentially cannot go anywhere emotional without

474
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: a benefit for me. So I'll sit here and say like, Okay,

475
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: I don't mind having this arrangement that you want to

476
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,120
Speaker 1: bring about, but I'm also not gonna see here and

477
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: just be someone emotional like it's gonna cost you. And

478
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 1: so that's kind of you know how I bring it's

479
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,919
Speaker 1: because then you're communicating honestly, you're telling them what you

480
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 1: need out of the relationship, and you have that back

481
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 1: and forth with them. And I've had like even with

482
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 1: with Crystal, We've talked about it, and there's been guys

483
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,680
Speaker 1: that have approached her and when she brings up the money,

484
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 1: they're like, no, I just I just need me girlfriend

485
00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,639
Speaker 1: number two? What the hell is in it for the

486
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 1: other girl? Besides sex? I could go funk someone who's single,

487
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 1: and it could potentially be something for me to start

488
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:11,199
Speaker 1: something with someone who doesn't make sense? Um, do you

489
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 1: think that that's because you know it's a lie? What

490
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 1: have you met a mary do that it was an

491
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:19,399
Speaker 1: open relationship? I don't believe in coming in as No, no, no, no,

492
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about with his wife. No, what do

493
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 1: you mean an open relationship? Talking about a guyship. I'm

494
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 1: not even saying pop Polly. I'm saying like a guy

495
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 1: who's like, hey, me and my wife are both open.

496
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 1: It's okay, insecure. I can date you. My wife dates

497
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 1: other people. You don't have to ever see my wife Like,

498
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 1: I'm open. We can go out, we can hang out,

499
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 1: we can do everything. I'm not lying with you still

500
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 1: you still feel like you need a gain. No, because essentially,

501
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 1: if I get into a relationship with somebody and route

502
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,160
Speaker 1: I want to possibly have kids, I want to possibly

503
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 1: get married if he's already married, right, I do hate kids.

504
00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: But no, I honestly, at this point in my life

505
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: right now, I don't want it. But I'm not gonna open.

506
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get I'm not going to get into

507
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: a relationship where the door is closed on growth. And essentially,

508
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 1: if I'm coming in in an open relationship, there's still

509
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 1: a door that's closed to me that we can't go past. Essentially,

510
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,479
Speaker 1: So no, I wouldn't get this has never happened to me.

511
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: And during the show, but I have two peace so bad,

512
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 1: that's fine. I want to bring up this next part

513
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 1: that you and James could go in, um so, just

514
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:29,919
Speaker 1: to start it off before I go to the bathroom,

515
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: James brings up that you don't like men on the

516
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 1: d L a lot, and I think finds a contradictory

517
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,719
Speaker 1: because there is deceit in that, but there's also deceit

518
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 1: with the men. You're trying to start a fight with

519
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,880
Speaker 1: us right before you get you know, I I love

520
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 1: this conversation to be here, how do you feel like

521
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 1: it's Yeah? So okay, basically I'll say my thought on

522
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 1: such um. I do talk to a lot of men

523
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 1: who dip and dabble but are are open about it

524
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 1: to me. And when I asked them, do all of

525
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 1: the women in your life know that you're like this?

526
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 1: They say no. I do have an issue with that,

527
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 1: more so on the health to the and essentially them

528
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 1: lying to themselves married men. I don't believe in monogamy,

529
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: so essentially, if he's not with me, he's gonna be

530
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:26,199
Speaker 1: with somebody else anyways. Okay, but if your issue is

531
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 1: with honesty and being honest with yourself, a married man

532
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: who's a straight married man who's cheating on his wife

533
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: is being just as dishonest with the people and his

534
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: wife that are like that are closest to him and

535
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 1: himself as a guy that's doing the same thing but

536
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 1: with guys. Yeah, But like like I said, so when

537
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 1: it comes to marriage, and I've said this actually a

538
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 1: lot on the show, I don't believe one person is

539
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 1: meant to be with another person. So in this sense,

540
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 1: there's the commitment of marriage that you guys have this relationship,

541
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 1: he's stepping out of the marriage and essentially being with

542
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 1: other women as he chooses. I feel like this is

543
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 1: gonna happen regardless. It's the same thing with you think

544
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 1: it's happen, regardless that guys are going to be with

545
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 1: other guys they are. What are you talking about? Do

546
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 1: you think it's inevitable that guys are gonna be with

547
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 1: other guys so they can not share it with a

548
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 1: woman if they want to. I think if they're being

549
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: with other guys in that place, and they should share

550
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: it with the woman. If they I don't think they're

551
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 1: they have to share it, they should share it with

552
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,919
Speaker 1: the women. I think also like people who deal with

553
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 1: homosexuality are dealing especially you know, in in poorer communities, especially,

554
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 1: you're dealing with a lot more discrimination. She's dealing with

555
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 1: a lot of complicates. Taken honest, catch up, No, we're

556
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: just talking. He was talking about coming out. I think

557
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 1: that you know or being open about your sexuality or

558
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 1: who have you fucked in the past, possibly whether you

559
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,440
Speaker 1: know those men or women. I don't think that straight

560
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 1: people should be telling gay people or queer people when

561
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 1: they need to be coming out of the closet or

562
00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: when they need to be honest about stuff because they

563
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: don't understand what people go through when they actually come

564
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:05,119
Speaker 1: out of the closet and that, you know, the consequences

565
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:07,679
Speaker 1: from everyone in their life, from their family to their friends,

566
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 1: to people at their jobs and their schools shifting on

567
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 1: them for being who they are and being honest about that.

568
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,679
Speaker 1: Like you don't get the same thing for saying, you know,

569
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 1: I had sex with someone. But if you say, oh,

570
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 1: I had sex with another guy, then now all these

571
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,640
Speaker 1: women aren't gonna want to suck you. They're gonna think

572
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,159
Speaker 1: you're whatever. You know, if if people are like that

573
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 1: in that community, right, I'm gonna be honest with you

574
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 1: men on the d L. When I was younger, I

575
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:34,159
Speaker 1: used to be like, no, that's terrible. But now that

576
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 1: I'm more accepting of dating bisexual, I mean, I mean

577
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:38,719
Speaker 1: my mind is completely open, Like I have no pe

578
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 1: just against it anymore, I can't say that there is

579
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: anything that fucking different. I mean, I'm accepting of it too.

580
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: But even even with talking to so many men that

581
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: have this lifestyle, I asked them, I'm like, well, you're

582
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 1: so open with me, I'm accepting of it. If you

583
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 1: possibly say this to another woman, she may be accepting

584
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 1: of too. But that's up to them. That's for them

585
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 1: to decide, that's their life. They know that you don't

586
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 1: like you don't know those people and what they're dealing with,

587
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: and maybe you're right, but that's like you're not in

588
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 1: the position to say that if you're not having dealt

589
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 1: with them. So I am not allowed to feel this

590
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 1: way about download men because I mean, I'm okay with

591
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 1: cheating married men. I just don't see the correlation, asking

592
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 1: you what's the difference. I don't really see the correlation

593
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 1: of saying they're both deceitful lies a lie people, they're

594
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: both cheating on other people, they're both bringing up I'm

595
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: not even talking about someone being in a relationship. I'm

596
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 1: saying the to me when I'm talking about men on

597
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 1: the d L it's the casual dating or you're sleeping

598
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 1: with men and women at the same time. I'm not

599
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,959
Speaker 1: saying like I'm talking about that, like you're spreading with

600
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 1: a ton of different people, and you're you're saying a

601
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 1: bunch of different things, Like you're saying a married guy

602
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 1: who's cheating on his wife, you don't assume that he's

603
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: spreading it. She mentioned men on the d L, I

604
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 1: didn't mention a married man sleeping with him macause people

605
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 1: we're saying, is it contradictory because you think married. You

606
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: don't find a big problem with married dating, right, because

607
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 1: I don't believe in monogamy, so I feel like a

608
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: man is going to do that. So why is it

609
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 1: so much worse if they're on the d L, Because

610
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: essentially you're dealing with men and women. We talked about

611
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 1: this when it came to but I don't see anything

612
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 1: wrong with it, But I feel like it needs to

613
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 1: be mentioned because just like we mentioned the transgender conversation

614
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: and the same thing with a little duval going on

615
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 1: the breakfast club. Even there, you trans people do not

616
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 1: have any kind of responsibility or obligation to tell anyone

617
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 1: else what they're what they are like, or what they

618
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 1: you know, what their situation is. And I'm saying this

619
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: coming from a community where I'm friends with a lot

620
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: of people who feel such strong emotions about the homosexuals. Now,

621
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 1: I don't like that they do. But because you date

622
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 1: buy guys, but then you also are uncomfortable with the

623
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 1: d L party, I have never dated a by guy

624
00:30:53,400 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: you're comfortable with by, I'm comfortable with um curious, by curious,

625
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 1: I would say, not one who has actually had male

626
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 1: like a penis in his ass. But clearly I've pegged him.

627
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: He was gay for pay, so I mean, I guess,

628
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 1: but in his dating life he sleeps with women and

629
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 1: he literally said it took him like even during the shoot.

630
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 1: But would you have a problem. I just told him

631
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. But that's me. But the d L thing, then,

632
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 1: why do you think the d because because I like

633
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: that if I'm dating someone who's by, he's comfortable in

634
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 1: him being by. And I know that if you say

635
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 1: I'm not comfortable dating someone that's on the d O,

636
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 1: I don't think that's uh. You know that that's a

637
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: legitimate that that would be that would be more so,

638
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: that would be more so what I'm saying, And that

639
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 1: makes sense. And there's a lot of people that And

640
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 1: I like people owning their truth. So if someone if

641
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: a guy is bisexual, I would be more liking to

642
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 1: the fact that he's owning his sexuality. I don't mind

643
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 1: dating he's bisexual, but dating someone who's on the download

644
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: who has you know, I agree like being honest and

645
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 1: open about who you are and what you want is

646
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: an attractive thing. It's a good thing. But the reason

647
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 1: that men on the d L are there is because

648
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,480
Speaker 1: they face a lot of conset. And I one thousand

649
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 1: percent understand that for you and what you want, then

650
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,959
Speaker 1: that's understandable. But to say that that's wrong or morally wrong,

651
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:25,719
Speaker 1: or that's you know, lying in a way, that cheating

652
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: on a spouse in a straight way is not Oh no, no,

653
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 1: no, no no no. I've never really correlated the two together

654
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 1: or one being a lesser of evils. But for my preference,

655
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: I dislike the d L thing. I would love for

656
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 1: a guy to own up to his sexuality and he's

657
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: bisexual and like sick, he likes sick, whatever. But that's

658
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 1: kind of my take on that. I guess, um, I

659
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: don't want to see here and speak for everyone on

660
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 1: being download is wrong and being married and cheating is

661
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 1: not as wrong. I don't want to do that, but

662
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 1: my personal feelings on it is that, and I'm glad

663
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 1: we kind of got to an understanding where I am

664
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: with that before we get into like the final topic,

665
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: which I know we wanted to bring up with with masculinity.

666
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: I want to talk really quick about open relationships because,

667
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 1: as you guys know, I'm in one, and so there's

668
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 1: times where I'll talk about it, and you know, my

669
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 1: group chat with my friends with James, one of my closest,

670
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: it's all of us, and I will say things where

671
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: I contradict myself. I like that you go on a date,

672
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: but I don't like if you like her. Yeah. But

673
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: like so, we we were having conversation, we were saying,

674
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 1: our open relationships really that open because there's so many boundaries.

675
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 1: What do you think in open relationship and its most

676
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 1: ideal perfect form is well, I mean, I don't know

677
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 1: that there's an ideal perfect form for everyone. Everyone was

678
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 1: greatly different. But I think ideally it should be based

679
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 1: on communication and consent and being honest about you know,

680
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 1: what both people want and what both people are willing

681
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 1: to do to you know, make the other person happy.

682
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: But I think a lot of times it can be

683
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: hard with open relationships because there's just there's still a

684
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 1: lot of deception going on, and there's still just from

685
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 1: what I've seen, deception like what what do you mean, well,

686
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 1: deception like and manipulation like they'll say that. Usually the

687
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 1: way it works is they'll the guy will say, let's

688
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,800
Speaker 1: have an open relationship, and the girls like okay, because

689
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: she wants to be with him, and then he is

690
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 1: sucking a lot of other people because that's what he

691
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 1: wants to do that he may or may not be

692
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: telling her about. But and if she he's telling her

693
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: that she's, you know, able to have an open relationship.

694
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 1: But if she ever does, then he'll be like weird,

695
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 1: passive aggressive and make her understand that he doesn't like

696
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 1: it without owning up to the fact that you can't

697
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 1: handle it because you think that men bring it up

698
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,719
Speaker 1: because they want to. Absolutely, I think it's a lot

699
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 1: of times it is. But I'm saying that as a

700
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 1: person that you know, believes in like polyamory and non

701
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:41,759
Speaker 1: monogous relationship, Like I don't believe in monogamy, but I

702
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,280
Speaker 1: think that a lot of times still, you know, people

703
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 1: are assholes, and that's kind of how if you got married.

704
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 1: I got to look out for that and make sure

705
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,800
Speaker 1: that it really is equal. And a lot of times

706
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 1: it's not. A lot of times of the women do

707
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: have an issue. And I even have noticed this in

708
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 1: the swinging community. Um, going to the beach and just

709
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 1: talking to different couples. Um, the men have sex, they

710
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 1: have three suns, they bring women in. He's able to

711
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: fund other women. But there's you're not sucking another guy.

712
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 1: I can't look at you the same if there's another

713
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:10,880
Speaker 1: dick going inside of you. And I think a lot

714
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 1: of black men specifically have that issue where it would

715
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,359
Speaker 1: be kind of an ego trip for them to see

716
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 1: them their wives or their girlfriends or someone being pleased.

717
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 1: Not only that men are macho, men are mascu, men

718
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,879
Speaker 1: are providers. Men don't want to think that a woman

719
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,839
Speaker 1: has to go elsewhere to get pleased. So I think

720
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: an open relationship is very hard for a man to accept.

721
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 1: They don't want their women stepping out getting pleased by

722
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 1: other men or women. Yeah, in mine, I realized the

723
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 1: only time lover boy got extremely not i'm not gonna

724
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,359
Speaker 1: say extremely jealous, but the one time where you fucking

725
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 1: admitted it. I slept with this girl and woke up

726
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 1: in the morning, told him about it, and I mentioned

727
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 1: how we were on the couch, we didn't even take

728
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: off our clothes, and I fucking came and it was amazing,

729
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 1: and I was like it was so fast, was so good,

730
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and he didn't say anything for a

731
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 1: few minutes. He's like, Okay, you know what, I'm sorry,

732
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,720
Speaker 1: but that was too much and that was with a female,

733
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: and I realized, you know, he apologize, And I think

734
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 1: it's because it was like you get into your own

735
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 1: ego of do I make her come that fast? How

736
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 1: come in with so good? And I think what happens

737
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:22,280
Speaker 1: with women in in my open relationship. We both enjoy

738
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,239
Speaker 1: it because we like the open and honesty and we

739
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 1: like having one person there for the emotions and then

740
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,400
Speaker 1: everybody else is just kind of fun. But with women,

741
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,839
Speaker 1: they're not they're a little bit inferior. And he's never

742
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,640
Speaker 1: said that a vocalized it, but I think that's how

743
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 1: a lot of men feel when women other women. I mean,

744
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: she's not gonna replace me. There's there's a lot of

745
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 1: women too that are you know, primarily straight, but they

746
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 1: like to fool around with women or have sex with

747
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 1: women sometimes, you know, or it's a thing, but they're

748
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: not going to be in relationship relationship. So if you're

749
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 1: in that kind of situation, then the guy, because when

750
00:36:56,280 --> 00:37:00,120
Speaker 1: the men conversation come into play. It's like we discussed it,

751
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 1: but it is way harder, way more difficult, and it

752
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:04,839
Speaker 1: has to be those times where I'm like, Okay, so

753
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,839
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about like I need

754
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: to start this warning opposed to like, so let me

755
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 1: tell you about this. So it's like, is it even

756
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 1: necessarily open? If you feel like you have to tiptoe

757
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 1: around being open? And he can send you pictures of

758
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 1: the girls he's on dates with, he can because is

759
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,840
Speaker 1: it really open? It's open because of the honesty. It's open.

760
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 1: Fuck you, James got his motherfucking this, nigga. I'm gonna

761
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 1: tell you why. It's still unclear. Oh wait, we're not

762
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:38,800
Speaker 1: in Florida. It's not set for hill Spring. It's open

763
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,359
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna tell him and he has to deal

764
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: with it, but I'm not gonna front. I think the

765
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 1: one thing that I do because of the security issue

766
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:50,320
Speaker 1: is I kind of sugarcoat and make it seem nicer

767
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: and you still have the biggest stick. You're amazing, babe.

768
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:54,719
Speaker 1: That kind of thing I need to do, whereas he

769
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 1: doesn't really need to do that for me. Yeah, but

770
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 1: on top of it, you're not fucking other guys. But

771
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 1: you know I'm mind do I don't think you are.

772
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 1: I really don't think you are saying you're running from

773
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 1: You're only saying that because you think the guy. But

774
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 1: if you're only the one at the gym, bro, there's

775
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 1: a ton of them where you're like, oh my god,

776
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: he's cute. I don't evenant to go on a date

777
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 1: with him because I know I'm gonna him like you

778
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 1: don't want to know. I'm gonna be honest. Yeah, I

779
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 1: am very like one man kind of woman. And even

780
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 1: though the open relationship idea I'm enjoying because of the

781
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 1: girls that I'm seeing and I love flirting with men

782
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,439
Speaker 1: and texting with them, going out and ship, I feel

783
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 1: like if that sucked someone else, then I might just

784
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: only suck them, And that ship scares me because I

785
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 1: feel like then I'm ruining the rules of the open relationship.

786
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 1: That's why I don't feel like my need to come

787
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,720
Speaker 1: up with another word for this, because to me, open

788
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 1: relationship is feeling okay to go out and suck other people.

789
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:49,759
Speaker 1: And just like he's not going to say that, I

790
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 1: don't feel the okay on the other end. It's me.

791
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 1: It's my own feelings and guilt or fear, but you

792
00:38:56,840 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 1: were just saying you already have to sugarcoat it and

793
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 1: do a lot of stuff. I do it, but I

794
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 1: know that when you were girl at the girls, the girls,

795
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 1: I'm cool with the girls is cool. It was me

796
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: coming too hard, crazy, But I mean the jealousy is okay.

797
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 1: I can't not say dog his face. His face is

798
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 1: a meme right now. Jesus Christ not Christopher is the

799
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:26,799
Speaker 1: shadiest friend. Um, you know what the women I don't.

800
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:28,439
Speaker 1: I was saying that one situation was the one time

801
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 1: it sends to jealousy. But with women I don't as

802
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 1: much because I said they feel and I think that

803
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 1: they're more inferior in his head. But with men, I do.

804
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 1: And I don't know if it's because I'm worried about

805
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 1: his feelings too much and I should just thank you

806
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: I brought raised James, and I should just focus on myself.

807
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,760
Speaker 1: But even in my head, when it starts getting closer

808
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,959
Speaker 1: and closer and closer, it's harder for me. I think

809
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 1: that with any open relationship, the communication and guidelines you

810
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 1: to be set from the beginning, and I feel like

811
00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 1: I'm not. Really I don't want to make any comments

812
00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 1: on you and your relationship, but I feel like it's

813
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 1: something that needs to be kind of black and white,

814
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:06,400
Speaker 1: and I feel like there's a lot of gray area

815
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 1: with a lot of open relationships, and I think that

816
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 1: that's kind of what the communication is really hard on

817
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 1: my point. You know, when I when I went to

818
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:13,839
Speaker 1: go visit him in Europe, we were in the car

819
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 1: and I thought, Okay, I'm gonna say it right now.

820
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 1: This is the moment. We were in the car and

821
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, I just want to let you

822
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:23,600
Speaker 1: know that I'm back on bumble and I'm swiping guys

823
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 1: and I just want to tell you. He couldn't even

824
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:29,040
Speaker 1: turn his face to look at me. He said okay, okay,

825
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 1: was like enough, and I know he didn't like to

826
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 1: hear it, but he had to because this is what

827
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 1: we agreed to. So that part is harder because the communication,

828
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 1: it's like we talked about everything. When I talk about

829
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 1: dude is like I, okay, I give this this guy

830
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,719
Speaker 1: from the gym I number. Okay, so he's wanting to

831
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: have his cake and eat it too. Yeah, it's hard,

832
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 1: and I mean I understand, like it's hard when you're

833
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 1: in a relationship to be honest with yourself about what

834
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 1: you want from the relationship, because it puts you in

835
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:57,840
Speaker 1: a very vulnerable position. And also, we're like raised, everything

836
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 1: in society tells us that romance and love is the

837
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 1: one thing that can actually make you happy. Like, that's

838
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 1: what is really going to solve all your problems, is

839
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 1: when you find that one person that loves you unconditionally

840
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 1: and you love them, and when you're together nothing else matters,

841
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 1: and you have that kind of you know, that great

842
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 1: romance that one of lifetime soulmate experience. And so everyone

843
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,839
Speaker 1: kind of low key wants that and but doesn't want

844
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: to admit it, you know what I mean. So because

845
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 1: when you admit that yourself that you want that with

846
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,279
Speaker 1: this person, then if they don't share that back with you,

847
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 1: then you're The Other funny part about that you're saying

848
00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 1: that is because now that my thought process has changed,

849
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,760
Speaker 1: why they're from being friends with dub who dates couples

850
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 1: or whatever. I used to always joke about the main

851
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 1: chick thing being stupid. Now that's kind of what I want.

852
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 1: I'm fine with. I like, as long as we can

853
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 1: just more establish that and I would be okay. With

854
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 1: dating other people. Sometimes I think it's because we don't

855
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 1: know what we're doing with our open relationship. But I

856
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 1: don't really care about the other data because I know

857
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 1: that our emotions are there. I know that there's no

858
00:41:56,080 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 1: one else that tops that, and that's fine. Honestly, monogamy

859
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 1: at this point, A hundred percent would be worse than

860
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 1: that than me. For me, than this, I don't know

861
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:07,919
Speaker 1: if I could deal with that, because to me, I'd

862
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 1: be more worried about deceit. I'd be more worried about

863
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 1: having to say my every move, not being able to

864
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 1: flirt and do what I want or feeling that freedom.

865
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 1: That would really really scare me. I don't even know

866
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 1: what I would do what I had with with back home, like,

867
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,840
Speaker 1: oh my god, bro, if I looked at other it

868
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: was like it was too much of a lockdown. So

869
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: a hundred percent monogamy versus what I have right now,

870
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 1: this is what I can handle, even though there's gray

871
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:32,800
Speaker 1: areas and I'm still learning. I don't know if I

872
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: could ever do it again in my lifetime. A hundred

873
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 1: percent all the way through, that's a hard thing to do, maneah,

874
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:40,799
Speaker 1: And to me, like even more, you know, like I

875
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: wasn't like I was really tempted. When I was married

876
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 1: to monogamous, I wasn't like tempted. I wasn't mad all

877
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:46,839
Speaker 1: the time that I wasn't, you know, going out sleeping

878
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 1: with other people. It was just the fact that I

879
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 1: couldn't or if something happened then I would be doing,

880
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:53,319
Speaker 1: you know, the worst thing ever in the world, if

881
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 1: someone wanted to suck me and I sucked him while

882
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 1: I was drunk somewhere out of a party or something

883
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: like that. You know what I mean is that having

884
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: the freedom to know that that doesn't control everything in

885
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 1: your relationship doesn't reflect you know, everything that your love together,

886
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,799
Speaker 1: because rules are what makes I feel like it's what

887
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 1: just totally sucks it up. So the last thing I

888
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:19,359
Speaker 1: want to get into, um is gender, masculine masculinity, toxic masculine, Like, right,

889
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 1: are you okay? Masculinity? Damn was that said, masculine? Dude?

890
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 1: We got funked up yesterday, bro at that festival. So

891
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 1: I'm just I feel like I'm Mandy right now with

892
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 1: Raspy Boys listen, and it's like I'm moderating today somewhat

893
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 1: like I know this is all different this is all

894
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 1: very good. I guess we're giving you guys you know

895
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 1: over and honestly, I'm not comfortable with that. Is it's

896
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,560
Speaker 1: like I'm so dominating in my in my work and

897
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 1: like always taking control with other things. I kind of

898
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,880
Speaker 1: like you running the show. Well, not only that you

899
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 1: we we have a time set here, and I don't

900
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 1: think sometimes you lose the concept of time, so just

901
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:59,919
Speaker 1: to just to keep the conversation going, and I'm trying,

902
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 1: and I want you all to know, we don't have

903
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,399
Speaker 1: a producer. So not only are we talent, we're looking

904
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 1: at time, we're saying ads. Were we we actually outline

905
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 1: our show? And I don't think people understand, like it's

906
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:13,400
Speaker 1: a lot for both of us. Other podcasts, I would

907
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,399
Speaker 1: never do it again. The only thing I judge now

908
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 1: with podcasts when I think it's shitty is content. That's it.

909
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 1: Like I don't think listen to Brilliant Idiots, which is

910
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 1: one of the biggest podcasts that Chris is awesome. I

911
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 1: love they were all over the place. Sometimes they read ads,

912
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:29,800
Speaker 1: Oh I gotta go up, I gotta do this, and

913
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 1: they get off track, and it never makes me think

914
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:36,359
Speaker 1: that they deserve less than five. Not that they bring

915
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:38,880
Speaker 1: is the ship. To sit in a room and make

916
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 1: something perfect is really really hard. So I appreciate you

917
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 1: guys for recognizing that we are trying and and we're

918
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,720
Speaker 1: trying new things like this, we are what we're six months.

919
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 1: Oh god, damn, y'all are harsh with these comments like

920
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 1: y'all ain't only y'all ain't even got hold jokes. At

921
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 1: the same time, well, bit, I don't know what she's

922
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 1: gonna say. And then people loved our run of me things.

923
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:02,800
Speaker 1: Then it's like, y'all to me, now, y'all't even friends.

924
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 1: I'm just like listening. I was talking to sit here

925
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 1: and Route for the big girls, and it's like, well,

926
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 1: you big and you talk about her being skinny, and

927
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 1: it's just like she calls me a vixen when we

928
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 1: go out, look at her vixen back. But if I

929
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 1: ever do skinny shaming and if I if I thick

930
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,960
Speaker 1: girl shamed, then I would be It's just you can't win.

931
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: I was talking to about that last review and she

932
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 1: was like, well, you should talk to her and tell

933
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:25,759
Speaker 1: her not to say things like that. Was like, I'm

934
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 1: gonna be honest with your dude. I don't want to

935
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 1: ruin the friend of Me vibe because it's real and

936
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 1: the banter is real. So if I start James making

937
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 1: a face because there's times where I'm mad, but because

938
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:40,839
Speaker 1: you but you're sensitive and we know this, but I'm

939
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 1: not gonna friend to stop all of it with suck

940
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 1: it up. And I feel like, and I'm sorry that

941
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 1: we're going off track of this mascot contact, but I

942
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 1: want you guys to know, like, I think this is

943
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 1: something that kind of needs to be kind of talked about,

944
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 1: because I feel like we're getting so many so much

945
00:45:56,280 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 1: feedback that we're trying to please everyone and unfortunately, really,

946
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,799
Speaker 1: like I said, we can't please you all. Yes, I've

947
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 1: talked over people and if you've listened from episode twenty on,

948
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:08,879
Speaker 1: I've kind of worked on that. If you guys sit,

949
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,359
Speaker 1: if you listen from episode when Mandy still cutting people off,

950
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,919
Speaker 1: this girl said, Mandy cut people off. I'm on episode eight, bitch,

951
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 1: we ain't fixed until episode twenty so you gotta keep going.

952
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell you, asks like it's

953
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 1: got to go back and ed. You you know, we

954
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:25,840
Speaker 1: can't go ed. There's time to people be like you

955
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 1: get on me too much. I I get more annoyed

956
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 1: what you're getting on me in our personal lives than

957
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: do on the show. Bro this, which is a really

958
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 1: funny thing about it, because I'll read those things. I'll

959
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: laugh at me, like, yeah, I get her, but they

960
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,440
Speaker 1: don't hear the things that i'd be mad about, and

961
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 1: the things that you do on the show I could.

962
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 1: I don't think I get that irritated about the only

963
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 1: thing I did because when you called me from mysterious

964
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 1: that pissed me off was so fine. That was the

965
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 1: That was the only thing to say that Everyone is like,

966
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 1: let me just got so mad about the word. We're

967
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 1: just to make the next episode short because I have

968
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 1: to get this out. Promiscuity, by definition, is just people

969
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:06,799
Speaker 1: sleeping with people just to sleep with him. I don't

970
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: think it has to do with quantity. I find that

971
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:11,960
Speaker 1: I have sex based on quality and the connections that

972
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: I make with people. So to disregard the sex that

973
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:16,439
Speaker 1: I have just because you could call it free sex.

974
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:18,640
Speaker 1: I don't suck people because they're hot. I sucked them

975
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:22,439
Speaker 1: because they're hot, they're mentally stimulating. I like the vibe

976
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,320
Speaker 1: about going on. I sunk people for that reason. And

977
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 1: that's miscuity, means that you do that's not I think

978
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: she read really deep into the thing. And I said

979
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:35,320
Speaker 1: this because by episode five there were five different stories

980
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:38,799
Speaker 1: with five different people at that time. You haven't met

981
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 1: lover boy at this point, and you two girls and

982
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:45,879
Speaker 1: three different Well, you're talking about promisecuity, like you, you're

983
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:48,840
Speaker 1: saying it's a bad thing to you. Assume you're assuming promisecuity.

984
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 1: Go ahead, and you're on the show saying that having

985
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:57,239
Speaker 1: sex with a lot of people is not a bad thing.

986
00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 1: That's really one of the points you're saying. If you're

987
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,719
Speaker 1: being honest and in your sexuality and doing what you want,

988
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: have sex with as many people as you want, have

989
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 1: a gang bang. First of all, we should have got

990
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 1: on Mandy, not me. We're friends. You should be on team.

991
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:12,520
Speaker 1: You can't do that. You can't. You know. It's it's

992
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 1: funny that you bring it up, because you have brought

993
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,320
Speaker 1: that up the most to me. And that's when I realized,

994
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 1: Like I think me and Mandy talked about it too.

995
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 1: Someone called us hors and like, wait, hold up, but wait,

996
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 1: the name of the show is and I think that's well,

997
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 1: that's what I mean, and that's the thing that I'm

998
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:26,920
Speaker 1: learning through. I don't want women to feel like they

999
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: have to feel shitty about the decisions they make. But

1000
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:33,560
Speaker 1: to be frank with myself, when hearing that someone thought

1001
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:35,240
Speaker 1: I was that way or would just sleep with anyone

1002
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: that did hurt me. I don't know why. I don't

1003
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 1: know if it made me feel too slutty right exactly.

1004
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 1: And you guys say that kind of thing a lot

1005
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 1: of times, and I want to bring it's real feeling.

1006
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:46,640
Speaker 1: You talked about how you want to be with like

1007
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 1: multiple guys, but you don't. You couldn't because because you

1008
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 1: and I want, can I bring up a topic? So

1009
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:54,280
Speaker 1: you're not on Twitter, I am. I'd like to interact

1010
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,399
Speaker 1: with a lot of our listeners. So I got this

1011
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 1: um tweet yesterday and I meant to send it to

1012
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 1: you for a podcast called Horrible Decisions. There's a lot

1013
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:07,200
Speaker 1: of hor phobia on here. Why so much emphasis between

1014
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 1: you and sex workers? And I wrote back to her,

1015
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 1: I said, people assume, well, and we've talked about thinks

1016
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 1: that if you're you're a normal, everyday person, that you

1017
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,839
Speaker 1: can't have crazy sex. And this is what I wrote

1018
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:21,799
Speaker 1: back to her. I said, because we want to show

1019
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 1: how working class women can embrace their sexual freedom just

1020
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 1: as anyone else can. People assume that only women in

1021
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:30,840
Speaker 1: the sex industry are frequently are freaky and sexually free.

1022
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 1: We embrace the all women even though in corporate America.

1023
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 1: And I don't want to see here and feel like

1024
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: we're slush shaming women in the jays. Please please please

1025
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,400
Speaker 1: reread us, because I want our listeners to not feel

1026
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 1: this way. So what do we need to do different?

1027
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:51,760
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not like super blatant or super obvious,

1028
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 1: but it comes through in the kind of some of

1029
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 1: the assumptions of the questions you got um one of

1030
00:49:57,719 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 1: the things when one of your recent episodes where you

1031
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 1: talking about, oh, like what are the what are the

1032
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 1: horror jobs? What are the whole jobs that girls are

1033
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:06,760
Speaker 1: saying that, and it just comes off as like, oh,

1034
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 1: you know, or a lot of times you're asking like

1035
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:11,479
Speaker 1: would you have would you date a porn star? Would

1036
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:13,399
Speaker 1: you date a sex worker? You know? Or what which

1037
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:15,319
Speaker 1: is worse? And that's really kind of almost what it is,

1038
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:17,839
Speaker 1: like a would you rather thing two horrible things? You know?

1039
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: And that's kind of the framing that it comes up

1040
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 1: as and like and and it's part of a thing,

1041
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 1: you know, a part of hor phobia. That's and even

1042
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 1: really slut shaming too, which is women that have sex

1043
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:28,880
Speaker 1: for money or even to just have a lot of

1044
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:31,600
Speaker 1: sex or are promiscuous, they're not worthy of love and

1045
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 1: like men can't you know, can't actually love. And that's

1046
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,319
Speaker 1: really it is. It's really fucked up because it's like

1047
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 1: that's a horrible thing to be, you know, but that's

1048
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 1: what a lot of women in that position are, you know,

1049
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 1: faced with, and a lot of men treat them like.

1050
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 1: And I think the thing is when we did the

1051
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:49,799
Speaker 1: hoh jobs, I know we were coming from a place

1052
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 1: of teasing. And I know you wrote me about that

1053
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 1: in our in our group, Chad and said that I

1054
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:54,439
Speaker 1: know we were coming from this place of teasing, like

1055
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 1: because we call girls out, they won't own it. Yes,

1056
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 1: And that's why we loved Deep Throat so much, because

1057
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 1: she had her lethal lips, was so confident, so sexy

1058
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:08,680
Speaker 1: about it. Um. But when we mentioned ho jobs, it's

1059
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:11,480
Speaker 1: these girls that want to portray that they're doing so

1060
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 1: much better in every other aspect. But also the other

1061
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 1: thing I want to say, and and my issue is

1062
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:18,240
Speaker 1: even with the way you brought up to then responded

1063
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 1: to that tweet, you said, oh, well, this show, we're

1064
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 1: trying to show that normal women, even read girls that

1065
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 1: have regular jobs or whatever it can be. It can

1066
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 1: be sexually sexually free and her own sexuality. But sex

1067
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:31,839
Speaker 1: workers just have a regular job like everyone else. They're not.

1068
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not like they're not different. It's it's

1069
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 1: a job. It's sex work is work, right, And I

1070
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 1: don't think I mean normal as in like or I mean,

1071
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:40,799
Speaker 1: because I agree with her tweet, I don't think that

1072
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 1: we're coming from a place of like this is a

1073
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 1: outlandish it's just not your common job. That's it. Yeah,

1074
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 1: but exactly. But it's like a weird thing. And when

1075
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 1: you mean you think it about it, when you ask

1076
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: them about it, it's not that uncommon. I mean, and

1077
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,960
Speaker 1: you guys are saying this, but you're saying you're you're

1078
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:59,080
Speaker 1: not sex workers, But I mean you have sex for

1079
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:05,479
Speaker 1: money sometimes in exchange literally just talk with married yeah yeah,

1080
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 1: so I mean it's not not that if it's with

1081
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:11,200
Speaker 1: a married man. So I mean, like it's not like

1082
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:14,560
Speaker 1: you're from that. But that's what I mean, and that's

1083
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:16,839
Speaker 1: what a lot of people will do. Is say oh, well, there,

1084
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 1: if there's all this societal stigma attached to something to

1085
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 1: sex workers, they really shouldn't be. But if you're kind

1086
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 1: of in that or close to that, it's easier to say, oh, well,

1087
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 1: I'm not really a part of that now. I want

1088
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:33,800
Speaker 1: to say normal, right, or everyday girl. I have noticed

1089
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:37,000
Speaker 1: that in my lifetime, whether it's colleagues or people I

1090
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 1: run into, they think I'm crazy. They think I'm this

1091
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:42,880
Speaker 1: wild person, right, And I want to show that I

1092
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:45,360
Speaker 1: could do the same things you do. I'm relatable, but

1093
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:47,880
Speaker 1: I could still have this crazy sex in my everyday life.

1094
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 1: But sex workers can do that. But the majority of

1095
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:53,360
Speaker 1: our listeners that we want to attract are these, whether

1096
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:56,840
Speaker 1: married couples, average teachers don't want to attract sex workers

1097
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 1: or I think that the people to the mass that

1098
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,040
Speaker 1: sex workers to me won't think this is crazy. I

1099
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:03,719
Speaker 1: want to show people that the things that we do

1100
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:06,839
Speaker 1: aren't that outlandish or wild. I think that finding someone

1101
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:08,799
Speaker 1: who's a sex worker is going to be immediately more

1102
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:13,120
Speaker 1: liberal opposed to the everyday girl out there somewhere in

1103
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 1: the world that might hear this. I want to show

1104
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 1: that it's not that nuts. I love when at a

1105
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:18,759
Speaker 1: doctor write me and tell me that she used the

1106
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 1: we vibe in the emergency room with the patient. Things

1107
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:22,919
Speaker 1: like that, I want to come out more. So that's

1108
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:27,319
Speaker 1: why when we say normal women corporate corporated like that,

1109
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 1: it's because it's not. It doesn't have to be a

1110
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 1: prostitute to go out and do fucking book hockey or

1111
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:36,440
Speaker 1: have a gang bang or have a threesome. There's people

1112
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,440
Speaker 1: out here doing this ship all the time. They could

1113
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 1: be working next to you, they could be serving you

1114
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 1: in a restaurant. It could be anybody. So when I

1115
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:45,920
Speaker 1: know we make that analogy that we're just trying to

1116
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 1: say that we don't have to be this porn star

1117
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 1: chick to have porn star sex because I think people

1118
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 1: think that living these crazy lives, we can't be working

1119
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 1: in nine to five Mandy can't be in school, okay.

1120
00:53:58,120 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 1: But also what I hear you're saying was that if

1121
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:02,319
Speaker 1: you're cular chick who does all these normal things, works five,

1122
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 1: goes to school or whatever, then you can't be a

1123
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:06,000
Speaker 1: sex work. You can't be a prostitute. You keep saying

1124
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 1: you don't have to be a prostitute. I'm not saying.

1125
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 1: You know what, I mean, but I think that people

1126
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,480
Speaker 1: attached the stories like this, don't They wouldn't They wouldn't

1127
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 1: think that, what's the craziest thing you've told one of

1128
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:21,000
Speaker 1: the craziest stories, or me fucking that guy on Snapchat

1129
00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:22,919
Speaker 1: and then make any other ways to eat me out. Yeah,

1130
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 1: I would my fucking co workers think that I could

1131
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 1: do something like that. I mean, that's the thing though,

1132
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:33,759
Speaker 1: can do well that you have a money, A lot

1133
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:36,239
Speaker 1: of people who knows anything about sex and what people do,

1134
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:40,800
Speaker 1: knows that people keep. Can you not say that's kinky?

1135
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 1: Is that kinky or is that some regular ship? No,

1136
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 1: it's kinky. Well, I've had a lot of friends come

1137
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 1: to me and it's like, oh my god. Like the

1138
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:49,440
Speaker 1: fact that you two can come out and say that

1139
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 1: you do these things and express like your sexual It's

1140
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,880
Speaker 1: made us open up and I feel like our conversations

1141
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,640
Speaker 1: are maybe expected from people in the section industry because

1142
00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:03,400
Speaker 1: they have embraced their sexual freedom. They've done that. Unfortunately

1143
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 1: regular women and I don't even want to call us

1144
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,280
Speaker 1: regular but okay, I'm not going to call us regular

1145
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 1: women who are not the majority. No women who are

1146
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:14,680
Speaker 1: not in the sex industry. That often times are not

1147
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 1: as sexually free with their sexuality, with what they do

1148
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 1: behind closed doors as opposed to a woman who does

1149
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:26,200
Speaker 1: it for a living. To people say I can't talk

1150
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:28,719
Speaker 1: to anybody like this, I can't. I've never heard these

1151
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 1: things people. I don't have anyone that like, who's going

1152
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 1: to admit this? That does mean we're in a different box. Bro,

1153
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,680
Speaker 1: you have to remember, I think that's bullshit. And I

1154
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 1: think saying these that sex workers are over in this

1155
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 1: box and we're over in this box, when I mean

1156
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 1: we are a different box. You're we're in a different

1157
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,920
Speaker 1: box as to being more open minded. Are you going

1158
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:52,319
Speaker 1: to tell me that people haven't listened to me or

1159
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 1: you talk about something. Wait, wait, you're saying you're in

1160
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:58,640
Speaker 1: a different box and people that are mindset. Yes, okay, okay,

1161
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,880
Speaker 1: that's fine. I thought you were saying you're And that's

1162
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 1: why not for you to not understand what I'm saying.

1163
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:06,759
Speaker 1: I think sex workers are in that box of being

1164
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 1: sexually expressive and whatever. I mean, the majority of people

1165
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:13,160
Speaker 1: I don't believe they are. I'm sorry they're not. There's

1166
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 1: so that's why I mean, you're you have a podcast

1167
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 1: called Horrible Decisions, You're not like necessarily attracting the most

1168
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 1: like conservative like you are, but you're people that are

1169
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:26,719
Speaker 1: interested in that. And to the first of all, first

1170
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:28,680
Speaker 1: of all, I mean, I am. I'm criticizing you guys,

1171
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 1: and I think there's something to be said about that,

1172
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:32,319
Speaker 1: especially because you literally have the word whore in your name,

1173
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 1: which is a slur, you know, like it's something that

1174
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 1: you shouldn't say, and we did this on purpose, Yeah,

1175
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 1: but like you can say it if you know you're

1176
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 1: you're a subject to that. And the truth is that

1177
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 1: you know, women are subject to being called horse, whether

1178
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:47,360
Speaker 1: they are really sex workers or just for being sexual.

1179
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:49,719
Speaker 1: So it it is used on both people, but it's

1180
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:52,160
Speaker 1: used a lot more and in worse ways on actual

1181
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,319
Speaker 1: sex well even when we were coming up with the name.

1182
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:56,719
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember, but even so, and

1183
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 1: I G love that we're talking on this about the

1184
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:03,280
Speaker 1: title of the Shell because we talked about not liking labels.

1185
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:05,799
Speaker 1: So you did say that horror is a slur. It

1186
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:07,880
Speaker 1: can be seen as a label. Women are called horse,

1187
00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 1: So even adding the decisions behind it, you don't necessarily

1188
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:13,440
Speaker 1: have to be a whore to make these type of

1189
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 1: decisions to something that you did could be seen that.

1190
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:20,560
Speaker 1: I really like that people say they've done horrible decisions

1191
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 1: and had horrible decisions with their husbands or things like that,

1192
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:26,800
Speaker 1: because I wanted to be this thing as you can

1193
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 1: listen to this and it doesn't have to be and

1194
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 1: that's why we've said we're not sex workers. It doesn't

1195
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:35,600
Speaker 1: have to be strippers or prostitutes or escorts or porn

1196
00:57:35,640 --> 00:57:37,800
Speaker 1: stars to have done ship like this. You can do

1197
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 1: it too. You can go out and get on thrinder

1198
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:43,000
Speaker 1: and meet what You can have these moments in your

1199
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 1: everyday lives, even if you're not open enough to say it,

1200
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 1: or you feel like you could have never done it,

1201
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:51,120
Speaker 1: you could. That's why I think we try to say, hey,

1202
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:54,080
Speaker 1: this is for you too, because I mean, yeah, and so,

1203
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 1: like I said, you guys do a lot of good stuff.

1204
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,560
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of sex positivity on this podcast,

1205
00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 1: and I'm very four and definitely a lot of peop

1206
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,200
Speaker 1: we're listening to it and opening up and it's mostly

1207
00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 1: really good. But there's also sometimes where you talk about

1208
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:07,480
Speaker 1: it even in the name horrible decisions you're saying, but

1209
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:10,120
Speaker 1: also you're saying they're horrible decisions like they're bad decisions

1210
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 1: that you're making and you're like saying, we're less but

1211
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:14,200
Speaker 1: we kind of feel bad about it. It's crazy because

1212
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 1: I don't think we like and we've talked. We've talked

1213
00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 1: about this even as our outline. She's like, when we

1214
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 1: try to think of horrible decisions. Well, I tell her

1215
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:26,520
Speaker 1: all the time, not only that. I was like, Bro,

1216
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:28,800
Speaker 1: they don't have to be looked down upon, like we're

1217
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,200
Speaker 1: um embarrassed about it. I said, it could be a

1218
00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:34,120
Speaker 1: horrible decision that we enjoyed. Like I talked about the

1219
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 1: sex in the in the club where I ate two

1220
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 1: bitches out and it could have been seen by someone

1221
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:41,920
Speaker 1: else's a horse. I enjoyed it. I wasn't embarrassed. I

1222
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 1: do it the funk again. So we've had this conversation

1223
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 1: when making outlines that because they're horrible decisions, let's not

1224
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:50,600
Speaker 1: attach each once of feeling embarrassed or damn, we did

1225
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 1: that and we'll never do it again. Because I think

1226
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: throughout the show it's funny because we knew immediately when

1227
00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 1: thinking we do this podcast, were the perfect people for it. Whatever,

1228
00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 1: And throughout it there's been things like there was something

1229
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 1: um I brought up a porn star that many slept

1230
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 1: with that did gay porn, and the second porn star

1231
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 1: he's a model that did porn one time because he

1232
00:59:08,840 --> 00:59:11,320
Speaker 1: could looking and he made the money for And that's

1233
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 1: even the thing you know you're saying, you don't like, no, no, no, no, all. Second,

1234
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:18,360
Speaker 1: the show was over, right, I just wanted to bring

1235
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 1: up this point when the show was over, She's like,

1236
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:21,720
Speaker 1: what the funk? We weren't going to bring that up.

1237
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:24,440
Speaker 1: So just to say, like somebody as open as you,

1238
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 1: and I think you're more open on the show than I.

1239
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 1: We all realize we have these little like why like

1240
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:31,600
Speaker 1: why didn't you want to tell you? Because episode whatever

1241
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:34,160
Speaker 1: that was fairly in the beginning, and but it's our

1242
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:35,960
Speaker 1: own And that's just the point to say, we all

1243
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:39,000
Speaker 1: have these little subconscious insecurities that we can't let everything

1244
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 1: that's weird. There's things I you and me both haven't

1245
00:59:42,240 --> 00:59:44,640
Speaker 1: said on the show yet. They were like, man, not yet?

1246
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 1: Why is it the fear of being judged? Is it

1247
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 1: the fear of being looked up more as horrors? And

1248
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 1: that's the thing that we're learning as we grow this show,

1249
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,760
Speaker 1: like there are parts of us and which is why

1250
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 1: you hear mistakes like that where we still and I

1251
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:00,480
Speaker 1: think it comes from being to corporate women that want

1252
01:00:00,480 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 1: to still be respected in that way, concerned with how

1253
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 1: you know other people see you, and in some ways

1254
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:08,960
Speaker 1: you're not especially you. You know. It's one thing I

1255
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:10,840
Speaker 1: could tell from you the very first time I met you,

1256
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 1: that you didn't give a funk about what other people

1257
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:14,960
Speaker 1: thought about you. You're gonna be yourself, but under that

1258
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:20,600
Speaker 1: there's still some You're still aware, You're very sensitive. This

1259
01:00:20,680 --> 01:00:22,120
Speaker 1: is what it is. And now I know it, now

1260
01:00:22,120 --> 01:00:25,640
Speaker 1: that you've said it, I absolutely and like that when

1261
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:30,479
Speaker 1: people meet me. But now the other people could judge

1262
01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:33,440
Speaker 1: me and I have to see it. That is really hard.

1263
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:36,200
Speaker 1: It is hard because I really don't care and see,

1264
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:37,920
Speaker 1: but now that I got to read it, I'm just

1265
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:43,000
Speaker 1: like and see. For me, I've been people said behind

1266
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,440
Speaker 1: my back ever, but now that it's in my face

1267
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:46,320
Speaker 1: is hard. And see I've seen it all the time,

1268
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 1: like I've been dragged, oh my god, on Twitter, on Instagram,

1269
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:52,360
Speaker 1: on I've been on the social platform since two thousand

1270
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:56,400
Speaker 1: nine ten, from Twitter, from modeling, from being a blogger,

1271
01:00:56,440 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 1: from then writing a book to you know, now having

1272
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 1: a podcast. So I feel like I always been open

1273
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:03,720
Speaker 1: to criticism and seeing it. So I've kind of had

1274
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 1: to make a harder shell than most because you haven't

1275
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 1: had this platform where now it's it's strangers, that's not

1276
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 1: just Orlando anymore. Orlando people sitting here and talk to

1277
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 1: you about behind your back and you don't know. We're

1278
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:17,920
Speaker 1: not on a global platform where you have people who've

1279
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,840
Speaker 1: never met you and they only know what we've said

1280
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:23,760
Speaker 1: in an hour show. And it's just like, now you

1281
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:25,240
Speaker 1: have people that think they know you, and now they

1282
01:01:25,280 --> 01:01:27,600
Speaker 1: think that they can pass. I'm gradually upset. We had

1283
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,720
Speaker 1: a review that said Mandy mentioned the good hair thing,

1284
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 1: and I got upset Mandy because I'm reading it, like, no, bro,

1285
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,360
Speaker 1: this is Mandy. If anything, I wanted to make this

1286
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 1: podcast more of like open to anybody. She's like, no,

1287
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,720
Speaker 1: this is going to be a black podcast, period, And

1288
01:01:40,760 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 1: I was like, do you really think it is? I mean,

1289
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 1: it was crazy because when I read it, I was like,

1290
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,960
Speaker 1: now it's making us sound like we think we're superior

1291
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:49,320
Speaker 1: because we're mixed. Like you just never know what someone

1292
01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 1: will take from what you say, and so you're right

1293
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:55,439
Speaker 1: where I don't give a fucking my everyday life. Now

1294
01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:58,080
Speaker 1: that it's become this like business almost, I'm like I

1295
01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 1: can't handle it. And unfortunately, like yeah there is and

1296
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 1: a right like whatever. Someone called me a horror who cares?

1297
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,560
Speaker 1: But now you're like putting it out there with your

1298
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 1: user name, like you suck at this. But even in

1299
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:13,640
Speaker 1: in touch too well, And I told you so. I

1300
01:02:13,680 --> 01:02:16,640
Speaker 1: got really upset, even about the good hair comment. He

1301
01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:17,880
Speaker 1: was like, I think we should talk about this, and

1302
01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:19,200
Speaker 1: I said, Butch, I'm not talking about it. I I don't

1303
01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:21,640
Speaker 1: give a funk. Nobody say da dada, like I'm black

1304
01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:24,200
Speaker 1: and white. I literally cried the second episode or so,

1305
01:02:24,560 --> 01:02:26,520
Speaker 1: I had a breakdown because I wanted to wear braids

1306
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:28,360
Speaker 1: because I was going to Miami. But I work in

1307
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 1: a very conservative, corporate America job and I am the

1308
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 1: only black person on the floor. Regardless of me being

1309
01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 1: half black or not, I'm black to everyone else. And

1310
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:38,880
Speaker 1: I literally had a breakdown about wearing braids to work.

1311
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:41,760
Speaker 1: So to see that this comment was you made a

1312
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:43,840
Speaker 1: comment of having good hair because your mama was white,

1313
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:46,160
Speaker 1: I was just like, I wear a weave, I wear braids.

1314
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 1: I have the same issues as anyone who's full black

1315
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:53,480
Speaker 1: because I have these stereotypes. You know, I'm black enough,

1316
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:55,960
Speaker 1: and so I feel like I was very hurt that

1317
01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 1: someone would even feel like we think we're superior. And

1318
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:03,000
Speaker 1: we talked about she just asked for edge control, why

1319
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 1: she work out, how does she keep her edges down?

1320
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:07,919
Speaker 1: So for someone to think like that, we're thinking we're

1321
01:03:07,920 --> 01:03:11,439
Speaker 1: superior about them again in the comments, and I think

1322
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:13,360
Speaker 1: to your point and start like, we just got a

1323
01:03:13,400 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 1: little too deep. We did. We think I still want

1324
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,840
Speaker 1: this like one little piece of respect and to me

1325
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:24,320
Speaker 1: my own securities with some of the more horrible things

1326
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:26,440
Speaker 1: I've done, it'll be like, nah, you took it over

1327
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:29,160
Speaker 1: the edge. Yeah, like you know, and it's stupid, but

1328
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:31,560
Speaker 1: I mean, and and when and when it's like not

1329
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:33,920
Speaker 1: to invalidate our feelings, but stupid to think that we

1330
01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:36,160
Speaker 1: could be so open with this name, with this podcast

1331
01:03:36,160 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 1: of putting it out there, but not that one fucking thing.

1332
01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:40,040
Speaker 1: And still yeah, well, I mean, you know, whatever, if

1333
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:42,080
Speaker 1: if it's your personal life that you're not comfortable sharing

1334
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:43,920
Speaker 1: on the show, that's totally up to you, and that's

1335
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:45,600
Speaker 1: totally fine. You shouldn't feel like you have to be

1336
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:48,680
Speaker 1: totally open about everything about yourself on the show. That

1337
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:50,840
Speaker 1: you don't owe that to anyone, but I think you

1338
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:53,600
Speaker 1: still you're coming out in your own head. The reason

1339
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:56,720
Speaker 1: you're not comfortable sharing it isn't just because of other

1340
01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:58,440
Speaker 1: what other people will think about you, but you kind

1341
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:00,640
Speaker 1: of feel like maybe it's actually not good, you know,

1342
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:04,720
Speaker 1: like this guy for doing that, he wrote, He wrote,

1343
01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:07,520
Speaker 1: Weezy was like, so, are you just gonna whore yourself

1344
01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:11,720
Speaker 1: out for this podcast? Like this whole podcast? Yeah, yeah,

1345
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:13,920
Speaker 1: you know you saw the comment. Yeah, he was just

1346
01:04:13,920 --> 01:04:15,440
Speaker 1: trying to get in your pants. That's really all that

1347
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:17,880
Speaker 1: was about. Because he said, oh, I know you got

1348
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:19,560
Speaker 1: He was like acting like you care give a funk

1349
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:22,920
Speaker 1: about what he thinks about you. He was just like, oh,

1350
01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:25,600
Speaker 1: he's like a rich successful men like me, like women

1351
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:27,640
Speaker 1: that are open like you guys. But I don't want

1352
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:29,080
Speaker 1: you to be a horror because I still want you

1353
01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:31,960
Speaker 1: to be good for me. It's like, it was like,

1354
01:04:33,880 --> 01:04:35,400
Speaker 1: but I just I just think that when you guys

1355
01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:37,520
Speaker 1: have this kind of show, you know, with horror in

1356
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:39,880
Speaker 1: your name and everything you're talking about, um, you know,

1357
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:41,680
Speaker 1: being pro sex and open about this, I think you

1358
01:04:41,680 --> 01:04:44,840
Speaker 1: should also be really clear that you support sex workers

1359
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:47,240
Speaker 1: and sex worker rights and maybe have like some sex

1360
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:48,960
Speaker 1: workers on here, so we have to do that. I

1361
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 1: know you have had some, but even maybe some that

1362
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 1: are really involved with like sex worker Rice and dealing

1363
01:04:53,120 --> 01:04:56,120
Speaker 1: with issues and like police brutality and police harassment and

1364
01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:57,640
Speaker 1: all the you know stuff that goes on with that.

1365
01:04:57,880 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 1: There's really some really good I'm really glad we had

1366
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:03,720
Speaker 1: this conversation. Although masculinity sounded, you know, interesting, this was

1367
01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:05,880
Speaker 1: a really kind of Yeah, we're gonna have to bring

1368
01:05:05,880 --> 01:05:08,800
Speaker 1: you back on because I love looking at hippie Jesus.

1369
01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:13,280
Speaker 1: Across the table there was a guy addressed to Jesus

1370
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:14,800
Speaker 1: as at the at the Meadows, and I was like,

1371
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:19,520
Speaker 1: you were doing it wrong, right for sure? Yeah. I

1372
01:05:19,320 --> 01:05:21,200
Speaker 1: I always mentioned James on this show. I think you

1373
01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:22,640
Speaker 1: probably heard me se he your name a few times

1374
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:25,800
Speaker 1: where um, there's a lot of times where like people

1375
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:27,520
Speaker 1: will say like white devils and ship like that. I

1376
01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:29,440
Speaker 1: used to too, but now I can't because I know

1377
01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 1: James and rides a little harder for black folks that

1378
01:05:31,320 --> 01:05:34,440
Speaker 1: I have probably do you can. That's the thing. I

1379
01:05:34,440 --> 01:05:37,320
Speaker 1: gave you even more permission to say that, Like I'm white,

1380
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:39,160
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yes, they are, Like white white people

1381
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:41,080
Speaker 1: are the devil. Yeah the trash. Well, I hold you

1382
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:45,440
Speaker 1: guys enjoyed UM episode. This was y'all wanted over an hour.

1383
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:47,480
Speaker 1: Y'all got over an hour. Guy, Damn, UM, here you go,

1384
01:05:47,640 --> 01:05:50,120
Speaker 1: probably only eight minutes over an hour, but y'all, UM,

1385
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:52,920
Speaker 1: we're working on it. UM. Well, I'm really glad that

1386
01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:55,480
Speaker 1: we had this conversation. I would love to hear you

1387
01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:59,840
Speaker 1: guys thoughts and feedbacks UM on this specific episode. I

1388
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,440
Speaker 1: think everything on this episode with everybody's gonna like he

1389
01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:08,040
Speaker 1: read yours. Um, you guys can always um hashtag Horrible

1390
01:06:08,040 --> 01:06:11,000
Speaker 1: Decisions on Twitter. Clearly I keep up with it and

1391
01:06:11,040 --> 01:06:13,800
Speaker 1: I'm responding back to you guys. UM. You can also

1392
01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 1: reach us on our Horrible Decisions Instagram at Horrible Underscore Decisions,

1393
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:21,120
Speaker 1: and email us your wholemail. We ain't get through one

1394
01:06:21,200 --> 01:06:23,479
Speaker 1: this episode, but you know we love reading your things

1395
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:25,960
Speaker 1: and giving you all advice. So email us at Horrible

1396
01:06:25,960 --> 01:06:29,040
Speaker 1: Decisions at gmail dot com and where can they reach you?

1397
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:33,200
Speaker 1: Just on Instagram and y'all can find me on Twitter

1398
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:36,640
Speaker 1: and Instagram at full core Pumps. Thank you guys so

1399
01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:39,480
Speaker 1: very much. This has been another episode of Horrible Decisions.

1400
01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:40,120
Speaker 1: By Bye