1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: All right time now, guys for today's Strawberry Letter and 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 1: if you need advice on relationship, sex, work, dating, parenting 3 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:11,400 Speaker 1: and more. Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 4 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 5 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air. It's like we're 6 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 1: gonna read this one right here, right now. That's for you, Jay, 7 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for 8 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:27,960 Speaker 1: you here. It is a Strawberry Letter subject. He's mine sometimes, 9 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: but he belongs to her. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been 10 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,239 Speaker 1: friends with a great guy for three years and we 11 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: have become the best of friends with the best sexual chemistry. 12 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 1: Our sex is off the chain. He dates other women, 13 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: but he's always said that he wouldn't get in a 14 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 1: relationship without letting me meet the female and giving him 15 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: my blessing. We never talked about us being in a relationship, 16 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: so I gave up hope. Early on, he found out 17 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: I was dating a guy once and he got very 18 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: upset and wouldn't answer my calls for a whole week. 19 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 1: I didn't want to mess up our friendship, so I 20 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: broke up with the guy. A few days later, he 21 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,759 Speaker 1: called me and said he really needed to talk to me. 22 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: He told me that he's met someone and it feels 23 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,760 Speaker 1: right like she might be the one for him. My 24 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: heart sank and my feelings came out of nowhere. Then 25 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: I realized that I loved this man. Instead of telling 26 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 1: him I was hurt, I told him that I supported 27 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 1: him and couldn't wait to meet her. Later that evening, 28 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 1: he came over and we had sex. I cried while 29 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 1: we had sex because I had decided that would be 30 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: the last time we're intimate. We were intimate. I told 31 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 1: him that we couldn't have sex anymore, and he agreed 32 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 1: that it would be awkward for me whenever his girlfriend 33 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: is around. Fast forward to a week ago. I met 34 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: his new girlfriend at his house. She's cute and seems 35 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: like she's very sweet. She helped him cook dinner, and 36 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 1: whenever she wasn't looking, he rubbed on my butt or 37 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: squeezed my breasts. He tasted me that he couldn't wait 38 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: to taste me. As soon as his girlfriend left, we 39 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 1: had sex. We are addicted to each other sexually, he said, 40 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 1: even though he's with her, his body will always crave mine. 41 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 1: I don't want to be the number two woman in 42 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,080 Speaker 1: his life, but I need him? How can I break 43 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 1: the cycle with him? Please help? He's never yours anytime 44 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:32,679 Speaker 1: and never has been period. Okay, never has been. This 45 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 1: letter is just very sad to me. It's very sad 46 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: and it's pitiful. I mean, I'm sorry that you can't 47 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,960 Speaker 1: see that you're being used and this has nothing to 48 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: do with the so called friendship you think you have 49 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 1: with him. You are just allowing this man to have 50 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: his way with you whenever and wherever he wants, while he, 51 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 1: on the other hand, can dump you when he gets 52 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 1: a new woman in his life. Then he expects you 53 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:01,360 Speaker 1: to fall back, which you do all under the guise 54 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: of a so called friendship. Who wants a friend like this? 55 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,960 Speaker 1: And if that's the case, why can't you do the same? 56 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: He got mad? Remember when you had a man and 57 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:13,919 Speaker 1: didn't talk to you for a whole week. You broke 58 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 1: up with someone who could have treated you way better 59 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 1: than this guy because of him. I mean, you're just 60 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 1: a sex toy at this point, and you're available at 61 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,799 Speaker 1: his back and call. That's not cool. He's using you. 62 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 1: This is not love, It is lust, and surely you 63 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,919 Speaker 1: want better for yourself, I say, cut him off. Now, 64 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 1: how do you break this cycle with him? You asked, 65 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: Stop answering his call, stop letting him touch you. Stop. 66 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: You know this is your body. He's touching you so inappropriately. 67 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: And most of all, get yourself some new friends, Okay, 68 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 1: some real friends, so you can see the difference in 69 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: real friends and what this guy is offering. You steve 70 00:03:54,440 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: everything that Shirley just said, it's one thousand percent truth. 71 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: I mean, it's all I can tell you. But you 72 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: what what? What do you want me to say? Shirley 73 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: told you everything that you needed to hear. I really 74 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: I can't even add anything except the only thing I 75 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 1: can add is what's wrong with you? How you don't 76 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 1: see what he's doing? First of all, from the get goal, 77 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: you all calling yourself the best of friends with the 78 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: best sexual chemistry. So your friends with benefits the sex 79 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 1: is off the chain. Here's the next line that fixes 80 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: everything you need to know. He dates other women, but 81 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: he's always said that he wouldn't get in a relationship 82 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,239 Speaker 1: without letting me meet the female and giving him my blessing. 83 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 1: What so that made him cool? He said he no 84 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: getting a relationship with another female without letting me meet 85 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: her and giving her a blessing? What you thank you? Finn? 86 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:10,239 Speaker 1: To say? To stop him from seeing this girl? Girl? 87 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: That's game. He got you. All he's doing you is 88 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,280 Speaker 1: making you think that your second, third, fourth, or fifth 89 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: position that you hold has some type of voting rights 90 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:27,720 Speaker 1: with it. I'm gonna date these other women, but if 91 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:34,279 Speaker 1: I ever get into a relationship, girl, how he in 92 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: a relationship? Now? We never talked about us being a relationship, 93 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: so I gave up hope early on. So you all 94 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: never discussed y'all being an item, so he never counted 95 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: you as an item, so you was just another item. 96 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: You got played. You saw the dating the guy once 97 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: he got upsetting with answering your calls for a week. 98 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: I didn't want to mess up our friendship, boy, so 99 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:05,839 Speaker 1: I broke up with the guy. Really. Then a few 100 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 1: days later he called me and said he really needed 101 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 1: to talk to me. He told me that he'd met 102 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: somebody and it feels right and she might be the 103 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: one for him. Hey, then guess what happened to you? 104 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 1: Your heart sank and your feelings came out of nowhere. 105 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 1: Then I realized I loved this man. Oh God, you 106 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 1: stupid lady. Come on out, yeah, come on? Really all this? 107 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,919 Speaker 1: And then instead of telling him I was hurt, guess 108 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: what you did? I told him that I supported him 109 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,040 Speaker 1: and couldn't wait to meet help when we come back 110 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 1: lord him. Hold on, Steve, we'll be back at twenty 111 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,719 Speaker 1: three minutes after be our subject. He's mine sometimes, but 112 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: he belongs to her. Part two of Steve's response right 113 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: after this. You're listening, all right? Come on, Steve, let's 114 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. He's mine some times, but 115 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: he belongs to her. The title is wrong. You ain't 116 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,839 Speaker 1: got nothing right when dating this man is your friend. 117 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 1: He dates other women. Y'all never discussed being in a relationship. 118 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: He told you, though, that you are important to him 119 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 1: and that if he ever starts dating before he gets 120 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 1: a relationship, he'll make you make sure you meet it 121 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: and get his blessing. This is all set up. It 122 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 1: ain't nothing but to set up games. This man that 123 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: poked you to see exactly how far he could go 124 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: with you. He didn't set you up to see how 125 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,920 Speaker 1: much he can get away with you, and you passing 126 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: all the tests. You even started dating the guy. He 127 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 1: got mad so you broke up with the guy because 128 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: he was mad. He didn't call you for a week. 129 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: Then what he did call you, He told you he'd 130 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 1: have met somebody. He think you feel right now, you'dn't 131 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: gave up somebody that could have did you right, like 132 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 1: Shirley said. But you know already said y'all ain't got 133 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 1: no shot in no relationship. You said that at the top, 134 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 1: and now you set up here and told me that 135 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: your dumb ass thank you to fell in love with him. 136 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: Now this is stupid. It don't make no sense. You 137 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: just said y'all had no shot of a relationship. He 138 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: date other women. He told you if he finds somebody, 139 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 1: if it feel right, he'll let you know he finds somebody. 140 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 1: I told you to feel right, and he wants you 141 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 1: to meet him. Your heart sank. But instead of telling 142 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 1: me that you love him like you do, you told 143 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 1: him you supported him and couldn't wait to meet her. 144 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:34,680 Speaker 1: What you want to meet her? Fault? After that evening 145 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: he came over. We had some most sex. So wait 146 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 1: a minute, I can tell her that I got somebody else, 147 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 1: that it feel right, and I'm going to go with her. 148 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 1: But I can still come over and have sex. He 149 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 1: trying everything with you, you passing all the tests. He 150 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:55,600 Speaker 1: can get away with anything with you. I cried after 151 00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 1: we had sex because I had decided that it would 152 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,199 Speaker 1: be the last time we're into I bet it wasn't. 153 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,199 Speaker 1: I told him that we couldn't have sex anymore, and 154 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 1: he agreed it'd be awkward for me after his girlfriend 155 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:12,680 Speaker 1: is around. Well fast for a week ago, I met 156 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 1: his new girlfriend at his house. I don't know who 157 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 1: said this, he just is. Can't now you you'd have 158 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,559 Speaker 1: met his girlfriend in his house. She was cute. It 159 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 1: seems like she's very sweet. She helped him cook dinner, 160 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: and whenever she wasn't looking, he rubbed my butt or 161 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:35,320 Speaker 1: squeeze my eyes some motests. Let me see if I 162 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 1: can be physically aggressive with her while this other one 163 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 1: is around, so I can keep on the hook and 164 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: make her think she's something to me while I had 165 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 1: his real relationship with this other woman, which ain't really 166 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: real relationship either, but I got game. He texts me 167 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:57,760 Speaker 1: that he couldn't wait to taste me as soon as 168 00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 1: his girlfriend left. We had sex. You just crying another night. 169 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 1: You just said it because it was the last time 170 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,720 Speaker 1: you was gonna be into now you right after you cry. 171 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: One thing you need to do in this letter. You 172 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 1: need to quit cry every time we are addicted to 173 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,959 Speaker 1: each other sexually, he said, even though he's with her, 174 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: his body will always crave mine. I don't want to 175 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: be the number two woman in his life, but I 176 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,000 Speaker 1: need him. How can I break this cycle with him? 177 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 1: Please help? You don't want to be the number two woman. 178 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:44,200 Speaker 1: You said he date other women. You ain't number two. 179 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: You one of many, and but you his favorite because 180 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: he can get away with anything with you. Listen to me. 181 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:58,080 Speaker 1: He hasn't told all this to the other girls. And 182 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: you know how I know because that girl came over. 183 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 1: That's his girlfriend, thinking y'all just friends, and while she 184 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: helping him cook, she had no idea he's screwing you, 185 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,319 Speaker 1: feeling your breast and squeezing your booty. Why she ain't 186 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 1: looking at cooking. If he told that to everybody, he 187 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,559 Speaker 1: would have told you in front of Hull. Hey, this 188 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 1: my side piece, this one an other women, I'm saying, 189 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 1: but he ain't told that to her. You're the only 190 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,560 Speaker 1: one he telling it too. You're the only one falling 191 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:35,559 Speaker 1: for the oky dog. How come he didn't introduce you 192 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:42,080 Speaker 1: to his new girlfriend as his other woman? Why because 193 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: he can't get her to be his girlfriend if he 194 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 1: if she find out he got you. You the only 195 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:54,120 Speaker 1: one going along with this? How do you stop? Stop 196 00:11:55,600 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 1: stop being stuck on stupid? You already let one good 197 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: man potentially get out your life and go because you're 198 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:14,600 Speaker 1: hanging on to mister rong. She struckled Tommy, you're not helping. 199 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,680 Speaker 1: But who is he trying to help? So you gotta 200 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 1: understand when he talked that, right, who is somebody is 201 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 1: stuck in stupid and I can't get him out? Why 202 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:31,680 Speaker 1: don't I capitalize on the stake because you do her 203 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 1: that's immaterial. Tell me that means nothing, all right? Yeah, 204 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: she just needs to get woke. Man, Come on, girl, 205 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: that's why I s this is just beautiful. Quick cry 206 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,680 Speaker 1: now you want to well, I don't just I don't 207 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 1: want to be making love and you crying? That kills 208 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 1: the mood, all right? Listen post your comments on today's 209 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,520 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check 210 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming up next 211 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 1: forty six minutes after the hour, Our Girl from the 212 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:18,959 Speaker 1: Top Cheryl Underwood. Right after this, you're listening to the 213 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:20,559 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show