WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: Nuclear Maller Meltdown 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:01.560 Cut booms. 0:00:02.360 --> 0:00:05.480 If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes 0:00:05.519 --> 0:00:09.280 a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:12.560 of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:15.600 treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the 0:00:15.720 --> 0:00:17.560 rich pill poppers in the penthouse. 0:00:18.160 --> 0:00:18.480 Wow. 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:22.360 The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special. 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:29.560 The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in. 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:35.479 The air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me, Ben Mahler. 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:39.440 Because four hours a night are not enough, and we 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:42.360 do this eight days a week, this would be I 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:45.040 think the eighth day, right. I'm a little confused because 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:47.400 we did the overnight show, had a little bit of 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:51.640 a pause, came back in to the remote studio, and 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:55.360 we have two shows today, and so yeah, I think 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:57.040 this would be the eighth day, right, because we have 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:00.680 five shows a week, three on the weekends, and there's 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:05.600 a little crossover here on on Friday in the middle 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:10.679 of January, the calm before the divisional playoffs. Don't forget 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:16.800 Benny versus the penny. You can binge watch or binge listen. 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:19.680 If you're blind, you can do both. If you can see, 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:24.160 it's Benny Versus the Penny on YouTube Benny Vspenny, comment, 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:29.880 subscribe support Benny versus the Penny in our latest endeavor. 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:33.120 We only have a few shows left. We've got this weekend. 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:35.959 You can binge watch the Saturday and Sunday edition, and 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:40.160 then next weekend is Championship weekend in the NFL, followed 0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:44.880 of course by some little game in San Francisco. So 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:47.400 that is what we have on the agenda for that. 0:01:47.760 --> 0:01:50.760 Now on this edition of the Fifth Hour, we've got 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:56.040 watch out for the Hummingbird the Dollar Shave Club as well. 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:58.920 But we're going to start with this. Today is Friday, 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:05.800 January sixthe eighth. It is National Fig Newton Day, National 0:02:05.920 --> 0:02:10.680 Fig Newton Day. Now, my mom enjoyed a Fig Newton 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:13.200 many many years ago. I've not had one since my 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:17.800 mom was around. She's unfortunately gone for a while. And 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:21.639 the fig Newton, I learned some fun facts is why 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:25.800 would you need a day for the fig Newton? Is 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:30.160 it true that the fig Newton a cookie is actually 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:35.600 originally a health food? That's right, I fell down this 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:40.000 rabbit hole. So the fig Newton came into existence in 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:46.160 the late eighteen hundreds, like the eighteen nineties, and the 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:52.919 fig role became a popular food item because of medicine 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:57.280 at that time. Modern medicine in the nineteenth century, they 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:02.360 promoted that people needed to eat biscuits. Now I want 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:04.720 doctors to say, go eat biscuits. So they said, you 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:09.720 got to increase your consumption of biscuits and fruit and 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:12.280 your diet. You want to live a long time, and 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:16.640 you're worried about digestive problems, well, come on now, just 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:21.720 eat more biscuits. And so the fig roll became a 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:26.239 thing again because of all that. In eighteen ninety one 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:29.640 there was a guy named Charles Roser who invented a 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:34.960 machine to insert the fig paste into the dough and 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:42.000 abracadabrajocus pocus and eventually the product of Nabisco the original 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:47.560 name of the product and was changed to fig Newton. 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:51.000 So there you go, get figure with it. If you will, 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:54.120 you can get figure with it. So, in terms of 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:56.600 the meat of the matter, here on the fifth hour, 0:03:57.920 --> 0:03:59.800 I wanted to talk about something that happened the other 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:01.920 night on the show Go back a few days in 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:06.080 the hot tub time machine and the flickering fluorescent twilight 0:04:06.400 --> 0:04:10.120 of the overnight in the main studio at the Fox 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:15.680 Sports radio compound, where the air is often thick with 0:04:15.800 --> 0:04:20.159 the scent of rotting trash that is there everywhere. I sit, 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:25.240 five nights a week in a radio studio doing my thing. 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:28.320 Some have called me the high Priest of the Graveyard Shift. 0:04:28.320 --> 0:04:30.479 I don't know if that's an honor or not. I 0:04:30.520 --> 0:04:35.240 consider myself the level headed gas bag navigating an obstacle course, 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:43.560 occasionally the friendly skies of the Red Eye, and oftentimes 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:47.600 it's like a tightrope walker, and you forget that you're 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:51.680 three hundred feet above a concrete floor. Every once in 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:55.120 a while you're reminded. And earlier this week the tightrope snapped. 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:59.680 The culprit was not a lack of preparation, but a 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:02.680 lack pause. Now to set the scene. For those that 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:04.599 didn't hear the show, bad job by you, But the 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:07.000 scene I know Lucky Tony knows exactly what I'm talking 0:05:07.000 --> 0:05:09.680 about in Fergdog and Alf. For some of you, though 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:15.480 you don't so the scene was a classic NFL Malard monologue, 0:05:15.520 --> 0:05:20.719 a verbal tapestry that we wove together equal parts sarcasm, 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:27.400 little vitriol, and some supposed insight. You are the judge 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:30.600 of that anyway. The subject of this particular male monologue 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:34.080 the lead was the Minnesota Vikings. Now, I love my 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:38.120 people in Minnesota. You guys have been great. The Vikings franchise, though, 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:42.680 has spent the better part of I don't know sixty 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:47.839 years perfecting the art of the almost. We almost won 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:50.320 the super Bowl, we almost went on a run on 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:54.200 the playoffs. We almost had this great quarterback. Now, the 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:59.560 inciting incident to inspire the malar monologue involved the general manager, 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:06.920 Quasy Adolphamensa, a man whose Ivy League resume is often 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:11.039 used as an academia shield against the slings and arrows 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:14.680 of social media and talk radio. And so a random 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:17.960 beat reporter tossed what I thought was a softball question 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:24.280 to Adolphamensa, the Vikings GM. It had all the velocity 0:06:24.279 --> 0:06:28.359 of a rightening banana, and he asked if quarterback JJ 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:32.719 McCarthy was the man for twenty twenty six. Now, this 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:37.920 is a layup, go team go. That's the moment. Instead, 0:06:38.000 --> 0:06:43.640 though instead Quasy did not take debate. The GM gave 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:48.880 the world a dramatic pause and then a verbal pratfall, 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:55.200 a stumble, a marble mouth moment that in my business. 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:58.440 When you do talk radio is the equivalent of finding 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:05.000 a giant chunk of gold, a golden nugget, not the 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:10.360 hotel in Vegas. It's like fighting it in the gutter. So, 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:15.880 acting as my own digital archaeologist, I was able to 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:21.440 excavate the audio gold from the dark web. There's a 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:24.640 big dark web of sports clips doing the heavy lifting, 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:27.920 the busy body work, if you will, of hand crafting 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:32.080 bullet points and timing the clip for the Mauth monologue. Now, 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:39.880 in the bureaucracy of FSR, this involves needlessly complex steps 0:07:39.920 --> 0:07:44.800 of passing the clip to a circus of personnel yours truly, 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:49.120 A yours truly. I grabbed the sound. I toss it 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:51.880 to the middle manager. This is part b Kooper loop, 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:58.280 who then funnels it into the bowels of the FSR dungeon, 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:03.080 where this is the last part. A nameless, faceless editor 0:08:04.240 --> 0:08:08.600 performs meatball surgery on the audio file. Now, the tragedy 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:12.040 of this mini Mallard meltdown was not that the clip 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:16.840 failed to play. It played. It was played way too 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:21.240 well an editor and I'm not going to send any 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:25.200 names here, perhaps motivated by a misguided sense of I 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:28.120 gotta clean this thing up, got to clean that audio up. 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:32.280 Decided to perform a digital lobotomy on the sound bite 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:36.680 that I wanted. They butchered the hesitation, the very essence 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:43.200 of the clip. They deleted the stumble, they smoothed over 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:48.720 every crack that had given or was going to give 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:52.400 the Malard monologue its very foundation, and everything I was 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:56.320 going to play off didn't work in doing so. They 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:59.840 didn't just edit a sound bite, they absolutely torpedoed my 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:04.319 plan of attack. And this was a friendly fire in 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:08.319 the trenches of the twenty hour a week live audio 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:13.480 Battle Royale plus this podcast, plus this podcast, and so 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:15.960 we're lucky enough to be on a lot of stations. 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:19.440 We have a big stage, and we're also essentially recording 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:21.120 a podcast because we have a lot of people that 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:24.360 listen when they want at their leisure on demand of 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:26.240 the podcast. So it's great we get two for one 0:09:27.080 --> 0:09:30.199 and it usually works out pretty well. And while we're 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:33.960 doing that, though, always juggling torches in real time, you 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:37.920 rely on your support staff for a little bit. I 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:40.920 consider it the bare minimum. I try to do as 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:44.760 much as I can. I'm wired that way, and so 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:50.040 you need them sometimes to be the wind beneath your wings, 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:54.640 not the humming bird. That is a bird strike in 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:58.280 your engine. You don't need the hummingbird in your jet engine. 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:02.240 And so what fun followed was a moment of pure, 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:08.320 unadulterated radio theater, kabuki theater, a nuclear malar meltdown fueled 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:15.280 by the frustration of a craftsman who sees the finished 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:20.720 work shattered by some ham fisted apprentice who doesn't know 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:23.960 what they're doing. And so the migraine, headache and ulcer, 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:27.240 and it was a bit of an ulcer, you know, 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:33.560 the whatever ailments there were, they these are occupational hazards. 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:38.680 And it's it's really my issue, right I treat the 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:42.160 show way too seriously. It's a dopey overnight show. The monologues, 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:45.760 I like them to be a symphony. I do not 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:48.760 want them to be a child the first time they 0:10:48.800 --> 0:10:50.720 ever played a piano where they just hit all the 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:52.880 buttons and rub their fingers up and down. To the 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:56.560 casual consumer, and you're listening to the fifth hour, so 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:59.920 you're a higher level, but the casual consumer, we're most 0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:04.319 background noise. You're working in a factory, you're alone, you're 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:07.800 in your bedroom, you got the creeping crud or whatever. 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:09.480 You turn the radio on because you want to hear 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:12.600 a voice, because it's the sound of silence is pretty wicky. 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:14.640 So you turn it on. And so that's it. And 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:17.440 if you're listening with half an ear, a three second 0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:22.079 pause is trivial. I completely get it. I completely get it, dude, 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:26.000 I do. But for me, it's heartburn. And you can 0:11:26.040 --> 0:11:30.720 blame John Wooden, Ben Franklin. It was John Wooden who said, 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:34.720 make every day your masterpiece. Every day should be your masterpiece. 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:38.920 The Wizard of Westwood also known as win the Day, 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:43.040 you got to win the day. And by failing to prepare, 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:46.760 Benjamin Franklin said, you are preparing to fail. So I 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:49.040 always make sure to prepare. I want to make every 0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:53.160 day my masterpiece. And that's always been been the goal. 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:57.800 And it works out most of the time. It does 0:11:57.840 --> 0:12:01.640 not work out all of the time. And this was 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:04.800 one of those moments, and it was just a cacophony 0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:08.440 of things that were going on and on and on, 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:11.400 and so it all kind of reached the tipping point 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:17.960 during the the Vikings monologue. And so you know this 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:22.400 and that that happens every once in a while. It happens. 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:26.880 I mentioned John Wooden, and I also mentioned the the 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:32.040 great Ben Franklin. The quote that does sum up this show. 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:35.480 If there's one quote we've talked about this in the past, 0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:38.120 my favorite quote of all time. I was actually reminded 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:42.280 of this by a friend of mine this week and 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:44.800 I was like, you know what, I got to focus 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:48.080 on that more because that's really what we do, and 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:55.240 he said, what are you getting about? All right? So 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:58.240 it's it is my single favorite quote. I used to 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:03.840 have this on my social media from w Seafields, a actor, 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:11.160 a comedian, fat alcoholic guy, very funny man in his 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:14.480 day one hundred years ago or close to it, and 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:18.160 his quote was, if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:23.400 baffle them with bullshit. And that's that's what we try 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:25.080 to do. That's what we try to do here. So 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:30.319 you know, in this case, it was the difference that 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:33.720 SoundBite that the pause was the difference between a punchline 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:38.240 and a thud, And it is the sound of the 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:41.400 sausage being made. Only to find out someone forgot to 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:44.360 put the meat in the casing. Well, we can't have 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:46.880 sausage without the casing. Well I know, that, but somebody 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:49.000 screwed up and they had a tough night. So we 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:52.160 did snap a bit and went back into the basement 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:55.400 and just banged our head against the wall. A reminder 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:59.600 that even in this high tech, wacky wacky world of 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.040 modern and broadcasting, you still are at the mercy of 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:05.680 the human element. The names and faces of the guilty 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:10.680 will remain silent, just like they change all the time. 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:16.400 Some numb nuts. They really screwed up anyway, to put 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.560 a ball on this part of the fifth Hour. In 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:23.080 the end, more people, based on the feedback that I 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:25.880 get from you, more people seem to enjoy me having 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:30.280 a conniption fit like a fussy baby than you would 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:35.400 have just wanting to hear the random stylings of Quasi 0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:39.080 Adopha Mensa, the Viking, GM, Stumble and bubble. So it's 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:43.040 one of those double edged swords things where we have 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:46.800 this ear for the authentic, and then it's like they 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:50.320 say in Japan, the wabi sabi. It's a Japanese term 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:55.160 that means flawed beauty, the perfection of imperfection, wabi sabi. 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:57.840 So there you go, all right, Now turn the pages 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:02.120 on that to the justice files. The Justice files if 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:06.120 you will. So the question, it's the big story that 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:08.880 did not end up on the radio show. It ended 0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.120 up on the cutting room floor on the overnight show 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:14.560 here as we're doing this in real time on this Friday, 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:17.880 and so it involves college basketball. So the question, I 0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:21.080 will frame it this way, where are you at on 0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:24.040 the let me check my notes here, twenty six men 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:28.480 who are out? Nine eight men out? Now, twenty six 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:33.280 men who are out in the college football not college basketball, 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:37.520 college hoops point shaving scandal. Again, sorry, so where are 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:41.080 you at on the twenty six men who were involved 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:44.480 in the college hoops point shaving scandal according to the Feds? 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:48.680 Now for you reactionary dingle berries in the middle of 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:51.480 the room, not the back, not the side, not the front, 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:54.960 the middle of the room, the reactionary dingleberries. If you're 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:58.720 looking for a shoulder to cry on because some scholarship 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:02.200 scrub from Kennesaw State decided to trade his integrity for 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:06.880 a stack of easy green, You've come to the right neighborhood, 0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:09.600 but you're knocking on the wrong door. So I did 0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:12.600 not give this the full Milor monologue. I did not 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:15.560 give that to you on the Overnight let me tell 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:20.320 you why though, because the Dodgers in the nighttime hours before, 0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:22.920 not that long before I cracked the microphones, the Dodgers 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:26.720 went out and backed up the Brinks truck for Kyle Tucker. 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:32.680 And in my industry, the industrial complex of the hot take, 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:39.280 it's not narrow casting, it's broadcasting. Right. So Superstar signs 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:44.200 sixty million dollars a year contract and decides not to 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:49.000 play for the Mets, and that beats the other story, 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:51.760 which is really it's the dollar shave club story. Right. 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:55.440 You were shaving points for a couple of shekels, a 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:59.640 couple of dollars, and so that wins the baseball signing 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:01.920 every day of the week and twice on the Ben 0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:05.640 Malor Show, if you will. And besides, let's be real here, 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:09.840 ninety eight percent of the college hoop teams that are 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:15.080 involved in this it is a hodgepodge of nothingness. We're 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:20.280 talking about Alabama State, Nickels, State, Abilene Christian as some examples. 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:24.720 Now for our purposes, that does it get you warm 0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:27.920 and tingley and move the needle. Not exactly a murderer's 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:31.320 row of talent. Yeah, listen, the kids are playing basketball. 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:34.240 Good for them. They're also not seeing a dime of 0:17:34.400 --> 0:17:38.560 nil sugar sugar sugar, and they're looking at the point spread, 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:41.159 and they got these shady people that come over to 0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:43.479 them and say, hey, you want to make a couple 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:47.159 of bucks. You don't have to lose the game. You 0:17:47.240 --> 0:17:51.240 just have to underperform. Just pretend like you're a little sick. 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:55.119 You know, you got the whatcha mc college's not working, 0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:57.880 You got to get the do hickey going, that whole thing. 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:02.280 And so well, college players are like, oh man, this 0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:06.840 is easy money. E z money, and I'm good to go. 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:10.200 Now Here are the facts of life for the uninitiated, 0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:12.920 in terms of those that are up in arms over 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:16.280 sports gambling and all that gambling has been around since 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:21.040 the very first caveman bet a rack of ribs on 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:29.560 which Wooly Mammoth would drop first. Me know that not real? Yeah, 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:33.359 well okay. The only difference now is that it is 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:38.360 legal in most places other than the People's Republic of California, 0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:43.640 where we broadcast from and a few other outposts out 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:48.360 in the way way blue yonder way out there. So 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:52.600 it's all digital now, right, It's all digital. That's really 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:55.560 the difference now is it's it's on your phone and 0:18:56.359 --> 0:19:00.439 it's staring you in the face every time turn on 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:02.640 the tube, every time you turn on the radio show. 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:04.399 I mean, listen, hey, I'm part of it. You know. 0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:08.240 DraftKings is a great sponsor of the radio show. And 0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:11.520 there's a lot of Draft Kings love that we give 0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:15.000 them because they love us and we enjoy them. And 0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:18.280 the whole thing so in terms of the banit Caucus, 0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:22.200 which is out in force now, you've got to get 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:25.200 rid of it. And I'm not part of that group. 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:27.399 I'm on the other side of the aisle. I'm not 0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:31.199 clutching pearls acting like the sky is falling because of 0:19:31.200 --> 0:19:34.640 the point shaving scandal. Spare me. It makes me want 0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:39.000 to bar from my mouth because it's not freedom. That 0:19:39.200 --> 0:19:41.960 is not freedom. That's a nanny state with a whistle. 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:46.480 And I don't know about you, do you. I don't 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:49.720 want to live in a world like that. The whole 0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:52.560 thing is, it's like cars. I'll use an example, like cars. 0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:55.800 So the thing about cars is some dope is going 0:19:55.840 --> 0:19:58.480 to treat the freeway the interstate like it's the Indy 0:19:58.600 --> 0:20:02.120 five hundred or the Daytona five hundred. And there's gonna 0:20:02.119 --> 0:20:04.199 be accidents and people are gonna get hurt and all that. 0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:08.080 Do you get rid of cars? You want a kitchen 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:11.760 because you want to make supper, Well, some Mama Luke 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:14.439 is going to burn their house down and maybe even yours. 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:19.480 So this is the freedom versus fallout quagmire. And to me, 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:22.520 the malor math on this is rather simple. The benefit 0:20:22.800 --> 0:20:25.440 you get the liberty if you choose. It's not for everyone, 0:20:25.480 --> 0:20:28.439 and everyone shouldn't do it to put your skin in 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:32.399 the game. In terms of sports wagering, the cost you 0:20:32.600 --> 0:20:38.840 deal with is the greed. The greed, the fallout of 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:42.080 the stupid, right, the fallout of the stupid, and humans 0:20:42.119 --> 0:20:47.560 are fallible, and so listen, there are twenty six geniuses, 0:20:48.560 --> 0:20:54.560 absolute geniuses, that are completely tied up in that federal 0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:58.480 what they're calling the international criminal conspiracy, because not just 0:20:59.000 --> 0:21:03.000 college basketball player, it's Chinese basketball. They don't mess around 0:21:03.040 --> 0:21:07.000 in China, so good luck on that. And the people 0:21:07.040 --> 0:21:09.560 involved in this, based on what I've been reading here, 0:21:09.640 --> 0:21:13.399 did not exactly go to the Ocean's eleven school of 0:21:13.880 --> 0:21:20.280 planning a money grab heist situation. They followed the New 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:25.040 York Times bestseller the paperback version of a complete idiot's 0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:30.080 guide two point shaving. Now, in the old days, in 0:21:30.119 --> 0:21:35.200 the old country, you met a guy in a trench 0:21:35.280 --> 0:21:40.840 coat behind a dumpster and there'd be envelopes that would 0:21:40.840 --> 0:21:44.480 be exchanged with cash, and that was that. There was 0:21:44.520 --> 0:21:50.600 nothing recorded at all. Today, the modern element to this 0:21:50.800 --> 0:21:56.359 these scholars, these scholars are leaving a digital paper trail 0:21:56.480 --> 0:22:01.840 longer than the standard CVS receipt. They're laying out the 0:22:01.880 --> 0:22:06.600 whole scheme in text message chains. It's integrity for dummies. 0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:10.959 It's like, hey, hey, skip the layup in the second 0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:16.320 half and I'll buy you a used Honda click scent 0:22:17.280 --> 0:22:20.439 screenshot and it's like, why don't you what do you 0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:23.880 even want to use Honda? All right? The gambling houses 0:22:23.920 --> 0:22:28.520 are not charities. Obviously, this is big money and they 0:22:28.560 --> 0:22:31.560 often work, believe it or not, on razor thin margins, 0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:35.240 and they're not in the business of losing a bunch 0:22:35.280 --> 0:22:39.440 of benchwarmers from or losing, you know, to a bunch 0:22:39.480 --> 0:22:42.200 of bench warmers from I don't know nickels state, I 0:22:42.240 --> 0:22:45.040 don't even know where that is. The moment the alarm 0:22:45.080 --> 0:22:48.919 bells sound and things aren't kosher, there's some kind of 0:22:50.119 --> 0:22:55.679 fugazy betting pattern, the gambling companies release the hounds and 0:22:55.800 --> 0:22:59.479 hand the digital keys to the Feds. It's checks and 0:22:59.560 --> 0:23:02.439 balance is in the age of the algorhythm. That's the 0:23:02.440 --> 0:23:04.399 way this works. Now. I saw some comments by the 0:23:04.520 --> 0:23:09.480 US US Attorney and you know, talking about how, you know, 0:23:09.600 --> 0:23:14.360 significant corruption of the integrity of sports and all that 0:23:15.080 --> 0:23:20.400 very dramatic. He's really just describing the weather, is all 0:23:20.440 --> 0:23:23.359 he's doing. And if you're the US attorney, this is 0:23:23.359 --> 0:23:26.840 a big story, and this can enhance your career in 0:23:27.440 --> 0:23:30.800 law enforcement and in that world political world as well, 0:23:30.840 --> 0:23:32.679 and so it's important for you to get out in 0:23:32.720 --> 0:23:35.760 front and the cameras and really go deep on how 0:23:35.800 --> 0:23:37.800 bad it is. But but this is the new normal. 0:23:37.840 --> 0:23:42.040 If you think this ends with a few Chinese Basketball 0:23:42.080 --> 0:23:47.520 Association games and some low level college basketball, then I 0:23:47.680 --> 0:23:52.280 have some really really nice beachfront property in the Sahara 0:23:52.320 --> 0:23:54.960 Desert right in the middle of it, with your name 0:23:55.000 --> 0:23:56.480 on it. I'd like to I'd like to make a deal. 0:23:56.680 --> 0:24:01.120 The NFL, you got I think at some point they're 0:24:01.160 --> 0:24:03.959 involved in this, right you gotta think they're involved in this. 0:24:04.040 --> 0:24:08.560 We've had Major League Baseball, the NBA, college basketball. The 0:24:08.720 --> 0:24:12.840 argument's always been in NFL and college football. In order 0:24:12.880 --> 0:24:14.760 for it to really work, you just have to get 0:24:14.800 --> 0:24:17.439 the quarterback. You just have to get the quarterback. But 0:24:17.560 --> 0:24:20.280 even that you could have if the quarterback's really bad, 0:24:20.280 --> 0:24:22.080 they would bench the quarterback and then you've got to 0:24:22.080 --> 0:24:25.600 get the backup quarterback. Like the fixers are already lurking 0:24:25.600 --> 0:24:27.720 in the shadows, you know, they're like, oh, that would 0:24:27.720 --> 0:24:30.639 be the all timer. Because there's so much money bet 0:24:30.680 --> 0:24:35.320 on the NFL. It would be very easy in theory, right, 0:24:35.480 --> 0:24:37.879 if you workshop it, it would be very easy for 0:24:37.960 --> 0:24:40.240 them to get away with it. In theory. The only 0:24:40.280 --> 0:24:44.399 problem is everything's done via text message now so, and 0:24:44.480 --> 0:24:47.240 people have loose lips and all that. So that would 0:24:47.280 --> 0:24:49.480 be the hard part because you do it all via 0:24:49.560 --> 0:24:51.959 text and you'd have to use coded language and all that, 0:24:52.080 --> 0:24:55.000 and good luck on that. So you take the good, 0:24:55.160 --> 0:24:57.600 you take the bad, and you realize that as long 0:24:57.680 --> 0:25:01.000 as there is a scoreboard, there's a guy up in 0:25:01.040 --> 0:25:05.359 the nosebleeds who's tossing down raspberry is trying to rig 0:25:05.840 --> 0:25:11.880 the action electronically and all that. So the bottom line, 0:25:12.040 --> 0:25:16.000 all right, the bottom line, the game is obviously not 0:25:16.200 --> 0:25:18.720 over by a long shot, it's just being played by 0:25:18.760 --> 0:25:23.080 a different set of rules. And if you're surprised that 0:25:23.280 --> 0:25:29.040 the kid that has no nil check, no nil check 0:25:29.720 --> 0:25:35.680 and a smartphone is somehow susceptible to a big, giant 0:25:35.840 --> 0:25:38.600 cartoon payment and he's not even that big, by the way, 0:25:39.160 --> 0:25:41.360 then you haven't been paying attention. And really, you haven't 0:25:41.400 --> 0:25:44.080 been paying attention, not just currently, not the times we're 0:25:44.080 --> 0:25:48.159 in now, the modern era, the zeitgeist of the times, 0:25:48.200 --> 0:25:51.080 if you will, you haven't been paying attention to the 0:25:51.160 --> 0:25:56.320 human race for the last I don't know, six thousand 0:25:56.400 --> 0:26:00.320 years something along those lines. It's been a minute. It 0:26:00.400 --> 0:26:05.119 has absolutely been a minute now. I had mentioned on 0:26:05.280 --> 0:26:08.119 the radio show that I was going to do this 0:26:08.160 --> 0:26:10.520 big rant and I didn't get to it about a 0:26:10.560 --> 0:26:15.080 certain pro bouncy ball player. So I'm gonna save that. 0:26:15.440 --> 0:26:19.840 I'll do that for tomorrow. I'm up against it, right, 0:26:19.880 --> 0:26:22.679 And as the Great Pt Barnum said, you always have 0:26:22.760 --> 0:26:24.960 to have a little something for everyone. Gotta have a 0:26:24.960 --> 0:26:27.000 little something for everyone. So I'll have that. I'm sure 0:26:27.000 --> 0:26:29.800