1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:01,560 Speaker 1: Cut booms. 2 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes 3 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants 4 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:12,560 Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He 5 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the 6 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. 7 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:18,480 Speaker 1: Wow. 8 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 2: The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special. 9 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in. 10 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: The air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me, Ben Mahler. 11 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: Because four hours a night are not enough, and we 12 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 1: do this eight days a week, this would be I 13 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: think the eighth day, right. I'm a little confused because 14 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 1: we did the overnight show, had a little bit of 15 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: a pause, came back in to the remote studio, and 16 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: we have two shows today, and so yeah, I think 17 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: this would be the eighth day, right, because we have 18 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: five shows a week, three on the weekends, and there's 19 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 1: a little crossover here on on Friday in the middle 20 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:10,679 Speaker 1: of January, the calm before the divisional playoffs. Don't forget 21 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: Benny versus the penny. You can binge watch or binge listen. 22 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,680 Speaker 1: If you're blind, you can do both. If you can see, 23 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: it's Benny Versus the Penny on YouTube Benny Vspenny, comment, 24 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: subscribe support Benny versus the Penny in our latest endeavor. 25 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 1: We only have a few shows left. We've got this weekend. 26 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: You can binge watch the Saturday and Sunday edition, and 27 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: then next weekend is Championship weekend in the NFL, followed 28 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: of course by some little game in San Francisco. So 29 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: that is what we have on the agenda for that. 30 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 1: Now on this edition of the Fifth Hour, we've got 31 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: watch out for the Hummingbird the Dollar Shave Club as well. 32 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: But we're going to start with this. Today is Friday, 33 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: January sixthe eighth. It is National Fig Newton Day, National 34 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: Fig Newton Day. Now, my mom enjoyed a Fig Newton 35 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: many many years ago. I've not had one since my 36 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:17,800 Speaker 1: mom was around. She's unfortunately gone for a while. And 37 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 1: the fig Newton, I learned some fun facts is why 38 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 1: would you need a day for the fig Newton? Is 39 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: it true that the fig Newton a cookie is actually 40 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: originally a health food? That's right, I fell down this 41 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 1: rabbit hole. So the fig Newton came into existence in 42 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 1: the late eighteen hundreds, like the eighteen nineties, and the 43 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:52,919 Speaker 1: fig role became a popular food item because of medicine 44 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: at that time. Modern medicine in the nineteenth century, they 45 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: promoted that people needed to eat biscuits. Now I want 46 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: doctors to say, go eat biscuits. So they said, you 47 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: got to increase your consumption of biscuits and fruit and 48 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 1: your diet. You want to live a long time, and 49 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,640 Speaker 1: you're worried about digestive problems, well, come on now, just 50 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 1: eat more biscuits. And so the fig roll became a 51 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:26,239 Speaker 1: thing again because of all that. In eighteen ninety one 52 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 1: there was a guy named Charles Roser who invented a 53 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: machine to insert the fig paste into the dough and 54 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 1: abracadabrajocus pocus and eventually the product of Nabisco the original 55 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: name of the product and was changed to fig Newton. 56 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: So there you go, get figure with it. If you will, 57 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 1: you can get figure with it. So, in terms of 58 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: the meat of the matter, here on the fifth hour, 59 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about something that happened the other 60 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: night on the show Go back a few days in 61 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 1: the hot tub time machine and the flickering fluorescent twilight 62 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 1: of the overnight in the main studio at the Fox 63 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: Sports radio compound, where the air is often thick with 64 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:20,159 Speaker 1: the scent of rotting trash that is there everywhere. I sit, 65 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 1: five nights a week in a radio studio doing my thing. 66 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 1: Some have called me the high Priest of the Graveyard Shift. 67 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,479 Speaker 1: I don't know if that's an honor or not. I 68 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:35,240 Speaker 1: consider myself the level headed gas bag navigating an obstacle course, 69 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 1: occasionally the friendly skies of the Red Eye, and oftentimes 70 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 1: it's like a tightrope walker, and you forget that you're 71 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: three hundred feet above a concrete floor. Every once in 72 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 1: a while you're reminded. And earlier this week the tightrope snapped. 73 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: The culprit was not a lack of preparation, but a 74 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 1: lack pause. Now to set the scene. For those that 75 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,599 Speaker 1: didn't hear the show, bad job by you, But the 76 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 1: scene I know Lucky Tony knows exactly what I'm talking 77 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 1: about in Fergdog and Alf. For some of you, though 78 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 1: you don't so the scene was a classic NFL Malard monologue, 79 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 1: a verbal tapestry that we wove together equal parts sarcasm, 80 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 1: little vitriol, and some supposed insight. You are the judge 81 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 1: of that anyway. The subject of this particular male monologue 82 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 1: the lead was the Minnesota Vikings. Now, I love my 83 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 1: people in Minnesota. You guys have been great. The Vikings franchise, though, 84 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: has spent the better part of I don't know sixty 85 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:47,839 Speaker 1: years perfecting the art of the almost. We almost won 86 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 1: the super Bowl, we almost went on a run on 87 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: the playoffs. We almost had this great quarterback. Now, the 88 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: inciting incident to inspire the malar monologue involved the general manager, 89 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 1: Quasy Adolphamensa, a man whose Ivy League resume is often 90 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,039 Speaker 1: used as an academia shield against the slings and arrows 91 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 1: of social media and talk radio. And so a random 92 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 1: beat reporter tossed what I thought was a softball question 93 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:24,280 Speaker 1: to Adolphamensa, the Vikings GM. It had all the velocity 94 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:28,359 Speaker 1: of a rightening banana, and he asked if quarterback JJ 95 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 1: McCarthy was the man for twenty twenty six. Now, this 96 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 1: is a layup, go team go. That's the moment. Instead, 97 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: though instead Quasy did not take debate. The GM gave 98 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:48,880 Speaker 1: the world a dramatic pause and then a verbal pratfall, 99 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 1: a stumble, a marble mouth moment that in my business. 100 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: When you do talk radio is the equivalent of finding 101 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: a giant chunk of gold, a golden nugget, not the 102 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: hotel in Vegas. It's like fighting it in the gutter. So, 103 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: acting as my own digital archaeologist, I was able to 104 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 1: excavate the audio gold from the dark web. There's a 105 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: big dark web of sports clips doing the heavy lifting, 106 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: the busy body work, if you will, of hand crafting 107 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: bullet points and timing the clip for the Mauth monologue. Now, 108 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: in the bureaucracy of FSR, this involves needlessly complex steps 109 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: of passing the clip to a circus of personnel yours truly, 110 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 1: A yours truly. I grabbed the sound. I toss it 111 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 1: to the middle manager. This is part b Kooper loop, 112 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: who then funnels it into the bowels of the FSR dungeon, 113 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: where this is the last part. A nameless, faceless editor 114 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: performs meatball surgery on the audio file. Now, the tragedy 115 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 1: of this mini Mallard meltdown was not that the clip 116 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: failed to play. It played. It was played way too 117 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 1: well an editor and I'm not going to send any 118 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: names here, perhaps motivated by a misguided sense of I 119 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: gotta clean this thing up, got to clean that audio up. 120 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 1: Decided to perform a digital lobotomy on the sound bite 121 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:36,680 Speaker 1: that I wanted. They butchered the hesitation, the very essence 122 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:43,200 Speaker 1: of the clip. They deleted the stumble, they smoothed over 123 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: every crack that had given or was going to give 124 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 1: the Malard monologue its very foundation, and everything I was 125 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 1: going to play off didn't work in doing so. They 126 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: didn't just edit a sound bite, they absolutely torpedoed my 127 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:04,319 Speaker 1: plan of attack. And this was a friendly fire in 128 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 1: the trenches of the twenty hour a week live audio 129 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 1: Battle Royale plus this podcast, plus this podcast, and so 130 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 1: we're lucky enough to be on a lot of stations. 131 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,440 Speaker 1: We have a big stage, and we're also essentially recording 132 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 1: a podcast because we have a lot of people that 133 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 1: listen when they want at their leisure on demand of 134 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 1: the podcast. So it's great we get two for one 135 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:30,199 Speaker 1: and it usually works out pretty well. And while we're 136 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 1: doing that, though, always juggling torches in real time, you 137 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: rely on your support staff for a little bit. I 138 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: consider it the bare minimum. I try to do as 139 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 1: much as I can. I'm wired that way, and so 140 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 1: you need them sometimes to be the wind beneath your wings, 141 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: not the humming bird. That is a bird strike in 142 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: your engine. You don't need the hummingbird in your jet engine. 143 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 1: And so what fun followed was a moment of pure, 144 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:08,320 Speaker 1: unadulterated radio theater, kabuki theater, a nuclear malar meltdown fueled 145 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: by the frustration of a craftsman who sees the finished 146 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:20,720 Speaker 1: work shattered by some ham fisted apprentice who doesn't know 147 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,960 Speaker 1: what they're doing. And so the migraine, headache and ulcer, 148 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 1: and it was a bit of an ulcer, you know, 149 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 1: the whatever ailments there were, they these are occupational hazards. 150 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 1: And it's it's really my issue, right I treat the 151 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:42,160 Speaker 1: show way too seriously. It's a dopey overnight show. The monologues, 152 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 1: I like them to be a symphony. I do not 153 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,760 Speaker 1: want them to be a child the first time they 154 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 1: ever played a piano where they just hit all the 155 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 1: buttons and rub their fingers up and down. To the 156 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 1: casual consumer, and you're listening to the fifth hour, so 157 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 1: you're a higher level, but the casual consumer, we're most 158 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:04,319 Speaker 1: background noise. You're working in a factory, you're alone, you're 159 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: in your bedroom, you got the creeping crud or whatever. 160 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 1: You turn the radio on because you want to hear 161 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 1: a voice, because it's the sound of silence is pretty wicky. 162 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 1: So you turn it on. And so that's it. And 163 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 1: if you're listening with half an ear, a three second 164 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:22,079 Speaker 1: pause is trivial. I completely get it. I completely get it, dude, 165 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 1: I do. But for me, it's heartburn. And you can 166 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 1: blame John Wooden, Ben Franklin. It was John Wooden who said, 167 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 1: make every day your masterpiece. Every day should be your masterpiece. 168 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 1: The Wizard of Westwood also known as win the Day, 169 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 1: you got to win the day. And by failing to prepare, 170 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 1: Benjamin Franklin said, you are preparing to fail. So I 171 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,040 Speaker 1: always make sure to prepare. I want to make every 172 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 1: day my masterpiece. And that's always been been the goal. 173 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 1: And it works out most of the time. It does 174 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 1: not work out all of the time. And this was 175 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 1: one of those moments, and it was just a cacophony 176 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 1: of things that were going on and on and on, 177 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 1: and so it all kind of reached the tipping point 178 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 1: during the the Vikings monologue. And so you know this 179 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 1: and that that happens every once in a while. It happens. 180 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: I mentioned John Wooden, and I also mentioned the the 181 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 1: great Ben Franklin. The quote that does sum up this show. 182 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: If there's one quote we've talked about this in the past, 183 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 1: my favorite quote of all time. I was actually reminded 184 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: of this by a friend of mine this week and 185 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I got to focus 186 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 1: on that more because that's really what we do, and 187 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: he said, what are you getting about? All right? So 188 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 1: it's it is my single favorite quote. I used to 189 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:03,840 Speaker 1: have this on my social media from w Seafields, a actor, 190 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 1: a comedian, fat alcoholic guy, very funny man in his 191 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: day one hundred years ago or close to it, and 192 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 1: his quote was, if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, 193 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:23,400 Speaker 1: baffle them with bullshit. And that's that's what we try 194 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,080 Speaker 1: to do. That's what we try to do here. So 195 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,319 Speaker 1: you know, in this case, it was the difference that 196 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: SoundBite that the pause was the difference between a punchline 197 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: and a thud, And it is the sound of the 198 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 1: sausage being made. Only to find out someone forgot to 199 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 1: put the meat in the casing. Well, we can't have 200 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: sausage without the casing. Well I know, that, but somebody 201 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 1: screwed up and they had a tough night. So we 202 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,160 Speaker 1: did snap a bit and went back into the basement 203 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,400 Speaker 1: and just banged our head against the wall. A reminder 204 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 1: that even in this high tech, wacky wacky world of 205 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 1: modern and broadcasting, you still are at the mercy of 206 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,680 Speaker 1: the human element. The names and faces of the guilty 207 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:10,680 Speaker 1: will remain silent, just like they change all the time. 208 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 1: Some numb nuts. They really screwed up anyway, to put 209 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: a ball on this part of the fifth Hour. In 210 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 1: the end, more people, based on the feedback that I 211 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: get from you, more people seem to enjoy me having 212 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 1: a conniption fit like a fussy baby than you would 213 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 1: have just wanting to hear the random stylings of Quasi 214 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 1: Adopha Mensa, the Viking, GM, Stumble and bubble. So it's 215 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 1: one of those double edged swords things where we have 216 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: this ear for the authentic, and then it's like they 217 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:50,320 Speaker 1: say in Japan, the wabi sabi. It's a Japanese term 218 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: that means flawed beauty, the perfection of imperfection, wabi sabi. 219 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,840 Speaker 1: So there you go, all right, Now turn the pages 220 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 1: on that to the justice files. The Justice files if 221 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 1: you will. So the question, it's the big story that 222 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: did not end up on the radio show. It ended 223 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 1: up on the cutting room floor on the overnight show 224 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 1: here as we're doing this in real time on this Friday, 225 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,880 Speaker 1: and so it involves college basketball. So the question, I 226 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 1: will frame it this way, where are you at on 227 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 1: the let me check my notes here, twenty six men 228 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:28,480 Speaker 1: who are out? Nine eight men out? Now, twenty six 229 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 1: men who are out in the college football not college basketball, 230 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 1: college hoops point shaving scandal. Again, sorry, so where are 231 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: you at on the twenty six men who were involved 232 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,480 Speaker 1: in the college hoops point shaving scandal according to the Feds? 233 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: Now for you reactionary dingle berries in the middle of 234 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 1: the room, not the back, not the side, not the front, 235 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 1: the middle of the room, the reactionary dingleberries. If you're 236 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,720 Speaker 1: looking for a shoulder to cry on because some scholarship 237 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 1: scrub from Kennesaw State decided to trade his integrity for 238 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 1: a stack of easy green, You've come to the right neighborhood, 239 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 1: but you're knocking on the wrong door. So I did 240 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 1: not give this the full Milor monologue. I did not 241 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 1: give that to you on the Overnight let me tell 242 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 1: you why though, because the Dodgers in the nighttime hours before, 243 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 1: not that long before I cracked the microphones, the Dodgers 244 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 1: went out and backed up the Brinks truck for Kyle Tucker. 245 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:32,680 Speaker 1: And in my industry, the industrial complex of the hot take, 246 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: it's not narrow casting, it's broadcasting. Right. So Superstar signs 247 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:44,200 Speaker 1: sixty million dollars a year contract and decides not to 248 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 1: play for the Mets, and that beats the other story, 249 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,760 Speaker 1: which is really it's the dollar shave club story. Right. 250 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: You were shaving points for a couple of shekels, a 251 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 1: couple of dollars, and so that wins the baseball signing 252 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 1: every day of the week and twice on the Ben 253 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,640 Speaker 1: Malor Show, if you will. And besides, let's be real here, 254 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: ninety eight percent of the college hoop teams that are 255 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 1: involved in this it is a hodgepodge of nothingness. We're 256 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 1: talking about Alabama State, Nickels, State, Abilene Christian as some examples. 257 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:24,720 Speaker 1: Now for our purposes, that does it get you warm 258 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,920 Speaker 1: and tingley and move the needle. Not exactly a murderer's 259 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,320 Speaker 1: row of talent. Yeah, listen, the kids are playing basketball. 260 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 1: Good for them. They're also not seeing a dime of 261 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:38,560 Speaker 1: nil sugar sugar sugar, and they're looking at the point spread, 262 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,159 Speaker 1: and they got these shady people that come over to 263 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,479 Speaker 1: them and say, hey, you want to make a couple 264 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:47,159 Speaker 1: of bucks. You don't have to lose the game. You 265 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 1: just have to underperform. Just pretend like you're a little sick. 266 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 1: You know, you got the whatcha mc college's not working, 267 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,880 Speaker 1: You got to get the do hickey going, that whole thing. 268 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 1: And so well, college players are like, oh man, this 269 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: is easy money. E z money, and I'm good to go. 270 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,200 Speaker 1: Now Here are the facts of life for the uninitiated, 271 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,920 Speaker 1: in terms of those that are up in arms over 272 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: sports gambling and all that gambling has been around since 273 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 1: the very first caveman bet a rack of ribs on 274 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:29,560 Speaker 1: which Wooly Mammoth would drop first. Me know that not real? Yeah, 275 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,359 Speaker 1: well okay. The only difference now is that it is 276 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:38,360 Speaker 1: legal in most places other than the People's Republic of California, 277 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:43,640 Speaker 1: where we broadcast from and a few other outposts out 278 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:48,360 Speaker 1: in the way way blue yonder way out there. So 279 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: it's all digital now, right, It's all digital. That's really 280 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,560 Speaker 1: the difference now is it's it's on your phone and 281 00:18:56,359 --> 00:19:00,439 Speaker 1: it's staring you in the face every time turn on 282 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,640 Speaker 1: the tube, every time you turn on the radio show. 283 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,399 Speaker 1: I mean, listen, hey, I'm part of it. You know. 284 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 1: DraftKings is a great sponsor of the radio show. And 285 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 1: there's a lot of Draft Kings love that we give 286 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 1: them because they love us and we enjoy them. And 287 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 1: the whole thing so in terms of the banit Caucus, 288 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,200 Speaker 1: which is out in force now, you've got to get 289 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 1: rid of it. And I'm not part of that group. 290 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,399 Speaker 1: I'm on the other side of the aisle. I'm not 291 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:31,199 Speaker 1: clutching pearls acting like the sky is falling because of 292 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,640 Speaker 1: the point shaving scandal. Spare me. It makes me want 293 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 1: to bar from my mouth because it's not freedom. That 294 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,960 Speaker 1: is not freedom. That's a nanny state with a whistle. 295 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 1: And I don't know about you, do you. I don't 296 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 1: want to live in a world like that. The whole 297 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,560 Speaker 1: thing is, it's like cars. I'll use an example, like cars. 298 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: So the thing about cars is some dope is going 299 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,480 Speaker 1: to treat the freeway the interstate like it's the Indy 300 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:02,120 Speaker 1: five hundred or the Daytona five hundred. And there's gonna 301 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:04,199 Speaker 1: be accidents and people are gonna get hurt and all that. 302 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 1: Do you get rid of cars? You want a kitchen 303 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: because you want to make supper, Well, some Mama Luke 304 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,439 Speaker 1: is going to burn their house down and maybe even yours. 305 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:19,480 Speaker 1: So this is the freedom versus fallout quagmire. And to me, 306 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,520 Speaker 1: the malor math on this is rather simple. The benefit 307 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 1: you get the liberty if you choose. It's not for everyone, 308 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,439 Speaker 1: and everyone shouldn't do it to put your skin in 309 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:32,399 Speaker 1: the game. In terms of sports wagering, the cost you 310 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:38,840 Speaker 1: deal with is the greed. The greed, the fallout of 311 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 1: the stupid, right, the fallout of the stupid, and humans 312 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 1: are fallible, and so listen, there are twenty six geniuses, 313 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 1: absolute geniuses, that are completely tied up in that federal 314 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,480 Speaker 1: what they're calling the international criminal conspiracy, because not just 315 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 1: college basketball player, it's Chinese basketball. They don't mess around 316 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 1: in China, so good luck on that. And the people 317 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,560 Speaker 1: involved in this, based on what I've been reading here, 318 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:13,399 Speaker 1: did not exactly go to the Ocean's eleven school of 319 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 1: planning a money grab heist situation. They followed the New 320 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 1: York Times bestseller the paperback version of a complete idiot's 321 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:30,080 Speaker 1: guide two point shaving. Now, in the old days, in 322 00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:35,200 Speaker 1: the old country, you met a guy in a trench 323 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 1: coat behind a dumpster and there'd be envelopes that would 324 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,480 Speaker 1: be exchanged with cash, and that was that. There was 325 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 1: nothing recorded at all. Today, the modern element to this 326 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:56,359 Speaker 1: these scholars, these scholars are leaving a digital paper trail 327 00:21:56,480 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: longer than the standard CVS receipt. They're laying out the 328 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: whole scheme in text message chains. It's integrity for dummies. 329 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:10,959 Speaker 1: It's like, hey, hey, skip the layup in the second 330 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:16,320 Speaker 1: half and I'll buy you a used Honda click scent 331 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,439 Speaker 1: screenshot and it's like, why don't you what do you 332 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:23,880 Speaker 1: even want to use Honda? All right? The gambling houses 333 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: are not charities. Obviously, this is big money and they 334 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 1: often work, believe it or not, on razor thin margins, 335 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,240 Speaker 1: and they're not in the business of losing a bunch 336 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:39,440 Speaker 1: of benchwarmers from or losing, you know, to a bunch 337 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,200 Speaker 1: of bench warmers from I don't know nickels state, I 338 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,040 Speaker 1: don't even know where that is. The moment the alarm 339 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,919 Speaker 1: bells sound and things aren't kosher, there's some kind of 340 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:55,679 Speaker 1: fugazy betting pattern, the gambling companies release the hounds and 341 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,479 Speaker 1: hand the digital keys to the Feds. It's checks and 342 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,439 Speaker 1: balance is in the age of the algorhythm. That's the 343 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,399 Speaker 1: way this works. Now. I saw some comments by the 344 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:09,480 Speaker 1: US US Attorney and you know, talking about how, you know, 345 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:14,360 Speaker 1: significant corruption of the integrity of sports and all that 346 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:20,400 Speaker 1: very dramatic. He's really just describing the weather, is all 347 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,359 Speaker 1: he's doing. And if you're the US attorney, this is 348 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,840 Speaker 1: a big story, and this can enhance your career in 349 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 1: law enforcement and in that world political world as well, 350 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:32,679 Speaker 1: and so it's important for you to get out in 351 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 1: front and the cameras and really go deep on how 352 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 1: bad it is. But but this is the new normal. 353 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:42,040 Speaker 1: If you think this ends with a few Chinese Basketball 354 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:47,520 Speaker 1: Association games and some low level college basketball, then I 355 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: have some really really nice beachfront property in the Sahara 356 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,960 Speaker 1: Desert right in the middle of it, with your name 357 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,480 Speaker 1: on it. I'd like to I'd like to make a deal. 358 00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:01,120 Speaker 1: The NFL, you got I think at some point they're 359 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,959 Speaker 1: involved in this, right you gotta think they're involved in this. 360 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:08,560 Speaker 1: We've had Major League Baseball, the NBA, college basketball. The 361 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 1: argument's always been in NFL and college football. In order 362 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,760 Speaker 1: for it to really work, you just have to get 363 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,439 Speaker 1: the quarterback. You just have to get the quarterback. But 364 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 1: even that you could have if the quarterback's really bad, 365 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 1: they would bench the quarterback and then you've got to 366 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 1: get the backup quarterback. Like the fixers are already lurking 367 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 1: in the shadows, you know, they're like, oh, that would 368 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,639 Speaker 1: be the all timer. Because there's so much money bet 369 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:35,320 Speaker 1: on the NFL. It would be very easy in theory, right, 370 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,879 Speaker 1: if you workshop it, it would be very easy for 371 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 1: them to get away with it. In theory. The only 372 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:44,399 Speaker 1: problem is everything's done via text message now so, and 373 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,240 Speaker 1: people have loose lips and all that. So that would 374 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,480 Speaker 1: be the hard part because you do it all via 375 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,959 Speaker 1: text and you'd have to use coded language and all that, 376 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: and good luck on that. So you take the good, 377 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 1: you take the bad, and you realize that as long 378 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 1: as there is a scoreboard, there's a guy up in 379 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 1: the nosebleeds who's tossing down raspberry is trying to rig 380 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:11,880 Speaker 1: the action electronically and all that. So the bottom line, 381 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:16,000 Speaker 1: all right, the bottom line, the game is obviously not 382 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,720 Speaker 1: over by a long shot, it's just being played by 383 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 1: a different set of rules. And if you're surprised that 384 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 1: the kid that has no nil check, no nil check 385 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:35,680 Speaker 1: and a smartphone is somehow susceptible to a big, giant 386 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 1: cartoon payment and he's not even that big, by the way, 387 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,360 Speaker 1: then you haven't been paying attention. And really, you haven't 388 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 1: been paying attention, not just currently, not the times we're 389 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:48,159 Speaker 1: in now, the modern era, the zeitgeist of the times, 390 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 1: if you will, you haven't been paying attention to the 391 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:56,320 Speaker 1: human race for the last I don't know, six thousand 392 00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,320 Speaker 1: years something along those lines. It's been a minute. It 393 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:05,119 Speaker 1: has absolutely been a minute now. I had mentioned on 394 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,119 Speaker 1: the radio show that I was going to do this 395 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,520 Speaker 1: big rant and I didn't get to it about a 396 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:15,080 Speaker 1: certain pro bouncy ball player. So I'm gonna save that. 397 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:19,840 Speaker 1: I'll do that for tomorrow. I'm up against it, right, 398 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,679 Speaker 1: And as the Great Pt Barnum said, you always have 399 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,960 Speaker 1: to have a little something for everyone. Gotta have a 400 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 1: little something for everyone. So I'll have that. I'm sure 401 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 1: you'll look forward to that with bells and whistles. But remember, 402 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,919 Speaker 1: Benny versus the Penny is on right now. Benny versus 403 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 1: the penny is available. You can binge watch that. You 404 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,120 Speaker 1: can go back and listen to some of the old 405 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 1: radio shows this week and all the way back nine 406 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: years or something like that. That's quite the roller coaster, 407 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,119 Speaker 1: a lot of chills and thrills. Some of the boys 408 00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:51,119 Speaker 1: are still going back through the archive, the upside down 409 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 1: archive of work that we have on the radio show, 410 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 1: so check all that out. Have a great day today 411 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:03,159 Speaker 1: whatever you are up to, and don't forget new pods tomorrow. 412 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 1: If you want to send a message in for the 413 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,639 Speaker 1: mail bag, you can do that right now care of 414 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:11,240 Speaker 1: Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. That's Real fifth 415 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:17,000 Speaker 1: Hour at gmail dot com. Your comments can and will 416 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 1: be used against you in the court of the malor militia. 417 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,680 Speaker 1: So be very very very careful. All right on, behalf 418 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 1: of the Great dandyg Radio. Have a wonderful time in 419 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:36,200 Speaker 1: Bye bye Aloha, Osta pasta. Blah blah blah blah blah 420 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:42,440 Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah. You're fired. That's how you do it. Yeah, now, no, 421 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,080 Speaker 1: that's not how you do it, all right, That's how 422 00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 1: I did it. What do you want me to do? 423 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,840 Speaker 2: You pay me five hundred thousand dollars on endorse A 424 00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:51,119 Speaker 2: game magazine 425 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:54,239 Speaker 1: Got a murder, I gotta go