Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin, Texas.
Speaker 1: But just got back from Fort Worth and TCU graduation
Speaker 1: where our son Joshua graduated from TCU from the Business School.
Speaker 1: It was you know, it really wasn't overly emotional. This
Speaker 1: is an interesting thing. I've been kind of grappling with this,
Speaker 1: which is why I wanted to dive into this and
Speaker 1: I want to maybe hear what all of you have
Speaker 1: to say. When he graduated from high school, it really
Speaker 1: hit me. We said goodbye to a lot of friends,
Speaker 1: and everybody is kind of spreading out going, you know,
Speaker 1: their separate ways to different colleges, and it felt like
Speaker 1: a chapter was closing, And so is this. Clearly he's
Speaker 1: done with school. I mean, eventually he may go to
Speaker 1: business school and get his master's and all that. But
Speaker 1: while this is the closing of a chapter, I oddly
Speaker 1: felt great about the whole thing. It was a great
Speaker 1: celebration with family. Everybody was there. Obviously LZ was with me,
Speaker 1: my mom, my dad, my brother, nephews and cousins, and
Speaker 1: my ex wife and her husband and her sister, and
Speaker 1: so it was a huge family celebration and it was
Speaker 1: fantastic because everybody just rallied around Joshua. It was all
Speaker 1: about him, and we had a couple of just wonderful
Speaker 1: family dinners where everybody gets together. Thankfully, knock on wood,
Speaker 1: we were able to do that where we can all
Speaker 1: be in the same room, we can all celebrate, we
Speaker 1: can all love on each other and love on our kids.
Speaker 1: And you know, our daughter Taylor just wrapped up her
Speaker 1: sophomore year, and maybe that helps a little bit in
Speaker 1: that I still have two years to hold on to
Speaker 1: my baby, and I have two years of parents weekends
Speaker 1: and football games and the revelry and everything that goes around.
Speaker 1: You know, I already feel the weight of her graduation coming,
Speaker 1: because it'll be here before you know it. You know,
Speaker 1: she's just wrapped up sophomore, so two more years. But
Speaker 1: with Joshua, you know, watching him walk across the stage,
Speaker 1: watching him see his friends putting on the cap and gown,
Speaker 1: it was a lot of just pride. I was really
Speaker 1: proud of him. I was proud to be his dad.
Speaker 1: I was proud of everything he achieved. It was the
Speaker 1: culmination of a lot of work and effort, and it
Speaker 1: didn't feel as heavy as I thought it was going to.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's funny. I don't know. Maybe I
Speaker 1: pre mourned because you know, I was at his last
Speaker 1: lacross game and that hit me. I had tears in
Speaker 1: my eyes. He had tears in his eyes. The whole
Speaker 1: way home driving back to Austin, that three hour drive,
Speaker 1: I was really heavy and melancholy after all that just
Speaker 1: I think a lot. It was the first time I
Speaker 1: was telling Lauren, I'm not a big nostalgic person in
Speaker 1: that I don't look back a lot and say what if.
Speaker 1: I don't look back and wish for the good old days.
Speaker 1: I've always been a forward thinking, forward moving person. I
Speaker 1: always think about what's next. I'm always excited about what's
Speaker 1: next in life and business. I think that is the
Speaker 1: optimistic person in me. I've always been very optimistic, and
Speaker 1: so I've never really slowed down enough to say what
Speaker 1: about the good old days? That lacrosse game was the
Speaker 1: first time where I got nostalgic and I felt fifty two.
Speaker 1: I felt how did I feel like? I just walked
Speaker 1: off the field myself for the last time playing soccer,
Speaker 1: and I'm sitting here watching my son do the same thing.
Speaker 1: That was kind of the first nostalgic moment. Honestly, I've
Speaker 1: had kind of in my life. And it's not that
Speaker 1: I haven't thought back. You know, I've been to high
Speaker 1: school reunions and I you know, have unfortunately buried my
Speaker 1: old soccer coach from college. So I've had moments where
Speaker 1: I've looked back. But there was something about that that
Speaker 1: hit me. That graduation felt more celebratory and exciting, and
Speaker 1: this launch of Joshua in his new life and he
Speaker 1: is so excited. I think a lot of it comes
Speaker 1: from him. You know, if you ever think that whatever
Speaker 1: you're leaving is the is the high point of your life,
Speaker 1: if you think you have peaked, I think that is
Speaker 1: the issue. You know, if you think high school was
Speaker 1: the best part of your life, and maybe you look
Speaker 1: back and it is, but in the moment, I hope
Speaker 1: it wasn't. I hope you think what's next will be
Speaker 1: the best. It will always get better, you can always improve,
Speaker 1: and even just change is different. And so I think
Speaker 1: for Joshua, I get the excitement of he's moving into
Speaker 1: his own place, he's starting his own life, and he's
Speaker 1: you know, buying furniture and moving in this week and
Speaker 1: starting that chapter and starting his new job, and all
Speaker 1: of those things are exciting. And I remember how excited
Speaker 1: I was when I was leaving Oklahoma City University and
Speaker 1: I had just gotten my first job on air. I
Speaker 1: worked at KWTV, CBS affiliate in Oklahoma City. So for
Speaker 1: all your parents out there who you know have a child,
Speaker 1: moving on to that next chapter, and it really doesn't
Speaker 1: matter you know what that chapter is. You know, kindergarten
Speaker 1: into grade school and middle school and high school. You know,
Speaker 1: every chapter is just different and emotional to a certain degree.
Speaker 1: Uh there. You know, as I look back again, you
Speaker 1: you only know what you know at the time. And
Speaker 1: Lauren and I have these these deep discussions as you
Speaker 1: could probably imagine with l Z. But one of the
Speaker 1: things that she picked up, I don't know where she
Speaker 1: heard it, but it is maybe one of the best,
Speaker 1: most important lessons I had learned as a parent and
Speaker 1: as a child, And it's about parents, and the saying
Speaker 1: is it's their first time too. It's your parents first
Speaker 1: time being a parent, which means give them a break,
Speaker 1: have a little grace, have a little compassion for your parents.
Speaker 1: I know there is some idea that we are supposed
Speaker 1: to have it all figured out just because we're older
Speaker 1: and technically we're wiser. Yes we are, we've had more experiences.
Speaker 1: But I'm experiencing this for the first time. You know,
Speaker 1: when my son graduated middle school, that was the first
Speaker 1: time I had somebody graduate middle school in my life.
Speaker 1: Now I have my daughter, I've had it twice, which
Speaker 1: is why, by the way, the second time is always different.
Speaker 1: But you know, it's our first time too. It's my
Speaker 1: first time being a parent. And I look at some
Speaker 1: of my friends who are still at that phase of
Speaker 1: their child is heading to high school or they're starting
Speaker 1: to look at colleges, and so I try to advise them,
Speaker 1: and I look back at my own angst and things like,
Speaker 1: for example, if I was going to be a parent again,
Speaker 1: which I'm not going to, but let's say I was
Speaker 1: going to have Elsie and I were going to have children,
Speaker 1: you know, the things I wouldn't have so much angst
Speaker 1: and anxiety and stress over Little League and how good?
Speaker 1: How good are they at sports? And you know, honestly
Speaker 1: even school there are you know, I want them to
Speaker 1: be educated, I want them to have good grades, but
Speaker 1: I just wouldn't lose sleep over the little things, and
Speaker 1: I wouldn't mind the little things so much. And even
Speaker 1: getting into college, you know, there was so much stress
Speaker 1: and angst over you know, where are you going to
Speaker 1: go to school? Getting into school, getting into the right school.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's funny now that it's over. I
Speaker 1: am so grateful for Texas Christian University and the fact
Speaker 1: that he chose TCU, and I think it's like a relationship, right.
Speaker 1: I think it is important to find a school that
Speaker 1: fits you, and it doesn't need to be a certain
Speaker 1: type of school. It's just, you know, my best advice
Speaker 1: for those parents that are searching, where do you see yourself?
Speaker 1: You know, where does your child feel comfortable? Where do
Speaker 1: they see their people? You know, where do you see
Speaker 1: your tribe? That is what's important. Those are the places
Speaker 1: where they will end up and not want to come
Speaker 1: home in six weeks. I think sometimes we put our
Speaker 1: own stuff on the kids as far as choosing the
Speaker 1: right school and choosing the right path, and often we
Speaker 1: need to get out of the way and allow them
Speaker 1: to kind of find their way. Just give them the
Speaker 1: roadblocks and the things to step on to get to
Speaker 1: the next step and to keep moving forward. But when
Speaker 1: I think of how much stress we put into trying
Speaker 1: to pick college and getting there and all that, I
Speaker 1: kind of I think maybe we shouldn't have been all
Speaker 1: that stressed about all that. But I'm grateful that he
Speaker 1: went to TCU. It was such a good home. It's
Speaker 1: now still the home for my daughter for the next
Speaker 1: couple of years. And I also think the fact that
Speaker 1: I do have I'm not a complete empty nester yet.
Speaker 1: You know, I have one graduated, but we still have
Speaker 1: our daughter at TCU, so I still get those two
Speaker 1: more years. And I think the fact that I haven't
Speaker 1: had that moment yet, and again this is my first
Speaker 1: time for those of you listening that where your kids
Speaker 1: have both graduated or they've all graduated and it was
Speaker 1: the end of that time in your life. I know,
Speaker 1: I still have to move my daughter in. I know
Speaker 1: I still have to go to parents' weekends. Or I
Speaker 1: shouldn't say I have to. I get to I get
Speaker 1: that privilege of joining her, and so the finality of
Speaker 1: that isn't over, which probably gave me a little reprieve
Speaker 1: on the emotion with my son. I'm able to just
Speaker 1: kind of enjoy because I still get to see Taylor there.
Speaker 1: Because I've thought long and hard about why I wasn't
Speaker 1: more emotional after the graduation this weekend, because I really
Speaker 1: thought it might hit me more, And there were some
Speaker 1: times I'm not gonna lie, you know, I teared up
Speaker 1: just things that hit me. There were moments that hit
Speaker 1: me at you know, with my mom and dad being there.
Speaker 1: And I think, also, I'm a I'm a caretaker and
Speaker 1: a facilitator, and I plan a lot of this stuff,
Speaker 1: and I'm getting everybody hotel rooms and all this stuff,
Speaker 1: and so I think in the moment, you're a little
Speaker 1: bit detached because you're just trying to make sure everybody's
Speaker 1: taken care of. And so maybe maybe it will settle
Speaker 1: in a little later and hit me a little harder.
Speaker 1: But right now I'm kind of just basking in the
Speaker 1: glow of being so grateful and so happy for him
Speaker 1: and so proud. I was thinking of something else the
Speaker 1: other day, and before I leave you, I want to
Speaker 1: I want to hit on this. Some people have asked,
Speaker 1: you know, what is the secret to raising kids? And
Speaker 1: you know, there's tons of podcasts, there's tons of books,
Speaker 1: and I will say this. I don't have it all
Speaker 1: figured out. Nobody does. No, no, no parent has it
Speaker 1: all figured out. And the reason they don't is no
Speaker 1: child is the same. You know, what worked on my
Speaker 1: son does not work on my daughter. What works on
Speaker 1: my daughter does not work on my son. You treat
Speaker 1: them differently. They are different humans completely their emotions, their thoughts,
Speaker 1: their feelings. But with that said, there is one thing
Speaker 1: I was thinking about this the other day of like, Okay,
Speaker 1: why are both of our children great human beings? They're successful,
Speaker 1: they're smart, they're doing well in school. What has kept
Speaker 1: them on that path of success? And how I define success,
Speaker 1: by the way, is just being a good person, most
Speaker 1: importantly being a good citizen, being a good human, caring,
Speaker 1: having empathy, having love for others, gracious, educated, thoughtful, mindful,
Speaker 1: And they check all those boxes and then some. And
Speaker 1: so to me, they are unbelievably successful. And I think
Speaker 1: the word that stuck out the most to me as
Speaker 1: I see my son take this step and continue his
Speaker 1: life accountability and not just accountable to you, the mom
Speaker 1: or the dad, but I see them accountable to others.
Speaker 1: When when we had our gathering for graduation, we are
Speaker 1: fortunate enough that we have two grandparents. My mom and
Speaker 1: dad are still alive. Their cousins were there, their cousins
Speaker 1: wives were there, they were others, friends, and so I
Speaker 1: always thought it was important in my life of why
Speaker 1: I was successful is I was accountable to others, my parents,
Speaker 1: my brother. I never wanted to let my brother down,
Speaker 1: my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, whoever it is. I felt
Speaker 1: like I had to answer to them. I felt like
Speaker 1: they were always watching. What would they say if I
Speaker 1: had to go tell them what I did? And sometimes
Speaker 1: if I really screwed up when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: my parents would make me tell my grandparents, which was
Speaker 1: a fate worse than death. But I felt like I
Speaker 1: was able to give that to my kids, pass that
Speaker 1: on because let's face it, you know, my kids didn't
Speaker 1: struggle in their life. They knew where their next meal
Speaker 1: was coming from. They grew up with a house over
Speaker 1: their head. So how do you keep that hunger no
Speaker 1: matter where you grow up and how you grow up,
Speaker 1: how do you keep the hunger and that thirst for
Speaker 1: knowledge and to strive to be successful? It's accountability. I
Speaker 1: think that's what I'm narrowing it down to. As I
Speaker 1: think about it all, and I've given a lot of
Speaker 1: thought over the last week or so after graduation. Is
Speaker 1: Josh is accountable to me, to his mom, to Lauren,
Speaker 1: to his stepdad, to his cousins, brothers, sisters. Knowing that
Speaker 1: you have to answer to all of us, and knowing
Speaker 1: you would have to tell us what you did if
Speaker 1: you did wrong, I think keeps you on that path,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't make It doesn't mean you won't make mistakes,
Speaker 1: but it will also mean that when you do make mistakes,
Speaker 1: you're accountable. Even when I went through what I went
Speaker 1: through a post bachelor and with all the bachelor stuff,
Speaker 1: I sat with Lauren and my daughter and my son
Speaker 1: at the dinner table and answered questions and allowed them
Speaker 1: to be blunt and honest, and we talked about everything
Speaker 1: and owning everything. And it didn't matter to me as
Speaker 1: much to be accountable to the rest of the world
Speaker 1: and social media because I don't no offense, don't know
Speaker 1: ninety nine point nine percent of the people out there.
Speaker 1: But to those people around the dinner table that night
Speaker 1: and subsequent dinners that mattered to me. I had to
Speaker 1: be accountable to them. And so accountability is huge. And
Speaker 1: if I could ever impart any wisdom to a parent.
Speaker 1: Keep your children accountable, don't make it easy on them
Speaker 1: to do wrong, don't make it easy for them to
Speaker 1: let them off the hook. You know, they have to
Speaker 1: answer to somebody, And sometimes it's a parent, if you're
Speaker 1: lucky enough to have parents, a grandparent, but it can
Speaker 1: also be a mentor a coach, a teacher. And if
Speaker 1: you don't have someone in your life, try to seek
Speaker 1: that out. Try to seek out people who keep you accountable.
Speaker 1: I really do think that is a massive part of
Speaker 1: the reason why both my kids want to achieve their
Speaker 1: own path and achieve their own greatness whatever that is.
Speaker 1: And I'm not just talking about money. Whatever that means
Speaker 1: to you. Achieving that and wanting to achieve that is important,
Speaker 1: and I think when you're accountable to others, that is
Speaker 1: part of it. Thank you so much. It uh, it's
Speaker 1: it's it's wild to get to this point in your
Speaker 1: life where you know kids are are are moving on.
Speaker 1: And my relationship with Joshua will no doubt change, it
Speaker 1: already has to a large degree. Our conversations are different,
Speaker 1: My advice is different. It is real world stuff. It
Speaker 1: is money and insurance and you know, down payments on
Speaker 1: stuff and you know, think they you know, the basics
Speaker 1: of life. Now that I get to impart, I am
Speaker 1: so thankful that I'm here for it. HM. Didn't plan
Speaker 1: on getting emotional with you today. I guess I should
Speaker 1: have planned on it with this. But you know, when
Speaker 1: I think of Lauren, and you know, her dad didn't
Speaker 1: have the opportunity that I do, and I think of
Speaker 1: him often in these situations. Gary, I think of Elsie's
Speaker 1: dad because he and his mom, Donna, they did the
Speaker 1: hard work, They pushed their children, they held them accountable.
Speaker 1: Lauren is so accountable to others in her family and
Speaker 1: in her life, and still accountable to her dad. But
Speaker 1: I am sorry that he doesn't get to enjoy the
Speaker 1: spoils of that and have that friendship that I know
Speaker 1: he would have with Lauren. And so when I sit
Speaker 1: there at about the same age that he passed away,
Speaker 1: and I think how grateful I am that I got
Speaker 1: to sit in that auditorium and watch Joshua graduate, And
Speaker 1: every day I realize is so blessed that I get
Speaker 1: to enjoy the fruits of my labor. And we use
Speaker 1: labor with a loose term because it's yes, yes, it
Speaker 1: is work being a parent, but it's it's a it's
Speaker 1: a love right. But the fact that I get to
Speaker 1: enjoy these things, it's not lost on me that I
Speaker 1: get to enjoy every day and I get to watch
Speaker 1: him move in and if the Good Lord has will
Speaker 1: bless me a little bit longer, hopefully I will get
Speaker 1: to see them be married, and hopefully, if it's in
Speaker 1: the cards, grandchildren, and you know, each of those monumental moments,
Speaker 1: and I think of Lauren, who doesn't get to have that.
Speaker 1: And I know there's others out there who don't, you know,
Speaker 1: and we just went through Mother's Day, And if you
Speaker 1: don't have that, I feel for you. But I hope
Speaker 1: you will also be grateful for the work that was
Speaker 1: put in when they had that time, and be grateful
Speaker 1: for the moments that we do get to enjoy, because
Speaker 1: life is short. It's all too short, and we are
Speaker 1: reminded of that all the time. So I will enjoy
Speaker 1: this season and I will breathe it all in and
Speaker 1: know that there will be another season coming. And I
Speaker 1: appreciate each and every one of you so much. I
Speaker 1: love you, and I will talk to you again soon
Speaker 1: because we have a lot more to talk about. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most Dramatic
Speaker 1: pod ever, and make sure to write us a review
Speaker 1: and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.