WEBVTT - Proud Dad Moment

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<v Speaker 1>This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin, Texas.

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<v Speaker 1>But just got back from Fort Worth and TCU graduation

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<v Speaker 1>where our son Joshua graduated from TCU from the Business School.

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<v Speaker 1>It was you know, it really wasn't overly emotional. This

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<v Speaker 1>is an interesting thing. I've been kind of grappling with this,

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<v Speaker 1>which is why I wanted to dive into this and

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<v Speaker 1>I want to maybe hear what all of you have

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<v Speaker 1>to say. When he graduated from high school, it really

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<v Speaker 1>hit me. We said goodbye to a lot of friends,

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<v Speaker 1>and everybody is kind of spreading out going, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>their separate ways to different colleges, and it felt like

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<v Speaker 1>a chapter was closing, And so is this. Clearly he's

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<v Speaker 1>done with school. I mean, eventually he may go to

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<v Speaker 1>business school and get his master's and all that. But

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<v Speaker 1>while this is the closing of a chapter, I oddly

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<v Speaker 1>felt great about the whole thing. It was a great

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<v Speaker 1>celebration with family. Everybody was there. Obviously LZ was with me,

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<v Speaker 1>my mom, my dad, my brother, nephews and cousins, and

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<v Speaker 1>my ex wife and her husband and her sister, and

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<v Speaker 1>so it was a huge family celebration and it was

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<v Speaker 1>fantastic because everybody just rallied around Joshua. It was all

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<v Speaker 1>about him, and we had a couple of just wonderful

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<v Speaker 1>family dinners where everybody gets together. Thankfully, knock on wood,

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<v Speaker 1>we were able to do that where we can all

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<v Speaker 1>be in the same room, we can all celebrate, we

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<v Speaker 1>can all love on each other and love on our kids.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, our daughter Taylor just wrapped up her

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<v Speaker 1>sophomore year, and maybe that helps a little bit in

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<v Speaker 1>that I still have two years to hold on to

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<v Speaker 1>my baby, and I have two years of parents weekends

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<v Speaker 1>and football games and the revelry and everything that goes around.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I already feel the weight of her graduation coming,

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<v Speaker 1>because it'll be here before you know it. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>she's just wrapped up sophomore, so two more years. But

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<v Speaker 1>with Joshua, you know, watching him walk across the stage,

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<v Speaker 1>watching him see his friends putting on the cap and gown,

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<v Speaker 1>it was a lot of just pride. I was really

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<v Speaker 1>proud of him. I was proud to be his dad.

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<v Speaker 1>I was proud of everything he achieved. It was the

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<v Speaker 1>culmination of a lot of work and effort, and it

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<v Speaker 1>didn't feel as heavy as I thought it was going to.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, it's funny. I don't know. Maybe I

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<v Speaker 1>pre mourned because you know, I was at his last

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<v Speaker 1>lacross game and that hit me. I had tears in

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<v Speaker 1>my eyes. He had tears in his eyes. The whole

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<v Speaker 1>way home driving back to Austin, that three hour drive,

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<v Speaker 1>I was really heavy and melancholy after all that just

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<v Speaker 1>I think a lot. It was the first time I

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<v Speaker 1>was telling Lauren, I'm not a big nostalgic person in

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<v Speaker 1>that I don't look back a lot and say what if.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't look back and wish for the good old days.

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<v Speaker 1>I've always been a forward thinking, forward moving person. I

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<v Speaker 1>always think about what's next. I'm always excited about what's

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<v Speaker 1>next in life and business. I think that is the

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<v Speaker 1>optimistic person in me. I've always been very optimistic, and

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<v Speaker 1>so I've never really slowed down enough to say what

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<v Speaker 1>about the good old days? That lacrosse game was the

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<v Speaker 1>first time where I got nostalgic and I felt fifty two.

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<v Speaker 1>I felt how did I feel like? I just walked

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<v Speaker 1>off the field myself for the last time playing soccer,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm sitting here watching my son do the same thing.

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<v Speaker 1>That was kind of the first nostalgic moment. Honestly, I've

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<v Speaker 1>had kind of in my life. And it's not that

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't thought back. You know, I've been to high

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<v Speaker 1>school reunions and I you know, have unfortunately buried my

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<v Speaker 1>old soccer coach from college. So I've had moments where

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<v Speaker 1>I've looked back. But there was something about that that

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<v Speaker 1>hit me. That graduation felt more celebratory and exciting, and

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<v Speaker 1>this launch of Joshua in his new life and he

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<v Speaker 1>is so excited. I think a lot of it comes

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<v Speaker 1>from him. You know, if you ever think that whatever

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<v Speaker 1>you're leaving is the is the high point of your life,

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<v Speaker 1>if you think you have peaked, I think that is

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<v Speaker 1>the issue. You know, if you think high school was

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<v Speaker 1>the best part of your life, and maybe you look

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<v Speaker 1>back and it is, but in the moment, I hope

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<v Speaker 1>it wasn't. I hope you think what's next will be

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<v Speaker 1>the best. It will always get better, you can always improve,

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<v Speaker 1>and even just change is different. And so I think

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<v Speaker 1>for Joshua, I get the excitement of he's moving into

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<v Speaker 1>his own place, he's starting his own life, and he's

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<v Speaker 1>you know, buying furniture and moving in this week and

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<v Speaker 1>starting that chapter and starting his new job, and all

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<v Speaker 1>of those things are exciting. And I remember how excited

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<v Speaker 1>I was when I was leaving Oklahoma City University and

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<v Speaker 1>I had just gotten my first job on air. I

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<v Speaker 1>worked at KWTV, CBS affiliate in Oklahoma City. So for

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<v Speaker 1>all your parents out there who you know have a child,

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<v Speaker 1>moving on to that next chapter, and it really doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>matter you know what that chapter is. You know, kindergarten

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<v Speaker 1>into grade school and middle school and high school. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>every chapter is just different and emotional to a certain degree.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh there. You know, as I look back again, you

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<v Speaker 1>you only know what you know at the time. And

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<v Speaker 1>Lauren and I have these these deep discussions as you

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<v Speaker 1>could probably imagine with l Z. But one of the

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<v Speaker 1>things that she picked up, I don't know where she

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<v Speaker 1>heard it, but it is maybe one of the best,

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<v Speaker 1>most important lessons I had learned as a parent and

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<v Speaker 1>as a child, And it's about parents, and the saying

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<v Speaker 1>is it's their first time too. It's your parents first

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<v Speaker 1>time being a parent, which means give them a break,

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<v Speaker 1>have a little grace, have a little compassion for your parents.

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<v Speaker 1>I know there is some idea that we are supposed

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<v Speaker 1>to have it all figured out just because we're older

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<v Speaker 1>and technically we're wiser. Yes we are, we've had more experiences.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm experiencing this for the first time. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>when my son graduated middle school, that was the first

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<v Speaker 1>time I had somebody graduate middle school in my life.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I have my daughter, I've had it twice, which

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<v Speaker 1>is why, by the way, the second time is always different.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, it's our first time too. It's my

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<v Speaker 1>first time being a parent. And I look at some

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<v Speaker 1>of my friends who are still at that phase of

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<v Speaker 1>their child is heading to high school or they're starting

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<v Speaker 1>to look at colleges, and so I try to advise them,

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<v Speaker 1>and I look back at my own angst and things like,

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<v Speaker 1>for example, if I was going to be a parent again,

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<v Speaker 1>which I'm not going to, but let's say I was

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<v Speaker 1>going to have Elsie and I were going to have children,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, the things I wouldn't have so much angst

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<v Speaker 1>and anxiety and stress over Little League and how good?

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<v Speaker 1>How good are they at sports? And you know, honestly

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<v Speaker 1>even school there are you know, I want them to

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<v Speaker 1>be educated, I want them to have good grades, but

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<v Speaker 1>I just wouldn't lose sleep over the little things, and

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't mind the little things so much. And even

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<v Speaker 1>getting into college, you know, there was so much stress

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<v Speaker 1>and angst over you know, where are you going to

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<v Speaker 1>go to school? Getting into school, getting into the right school.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, it's funny now that it's over. I

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<v Speaker 1>am so grateful for Texas Christian University and the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that he chose TCU, and I think it's like a relationship, right.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it is important to find a school that

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<v Speaker 1>fits you, and it doesn't need to be a certain

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<v Speaker 1>type of school. It's just, you know, my best advice

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<v Speaker 1>for those parents that are searching, where do you see yourself?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, where does your child feel comfortable? Where do

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<v Speaker 1>they see their people? You know, where do you see

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<v Speaker 1>your tribe? That is what's important. Those are the places

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<v Speaker 1>where they will end up and not want to come

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<v Speaker 1>home in six weeks. I think sometimes we put our

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<v Speaker 1>own stuff on the kids as far as choosing the

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<v Speaker 1>right school and choosing the right path, and often we

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<v Speaker 1>need to get out of the way and allow them

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<v Speaker 1>to kind of find their way. Just give them the

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<v Speaker 1>roadblocks and the things to step on to get to

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<v Speaker 1>the next step and to keep moving forward. But when

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<v Speaker 1>I think of how much stress we put into trying

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<v Speaker 1>to pick college and getting there and all that, I

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<v Speaker 1>kind of I think maybe we shouldn't have been all

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<v Speaker 1>that stressed about all that. But I'm grateful that he

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<v Speaker 1>went to TCU. It was such a good home. It's

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<v Speaker 1>now still the home for my daughter for the next

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<v Speaker 1>couple of years. And I also think the fact that

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<v Speaker 1>I do have I'm not a complete empty nester yet.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I have one graduated, but we still have

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<v Speaker 1>our daughter at TCU, so I still get those two

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<v Speaker 1>more years. And I think the fact that I haven't

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<v Speaker 1>had that moment yet, and again this is my first

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<v Speaker 1>time for those of you listening that where your kids

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<v Speaker 1>have both graduated or they've all graduated and it was

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<v Speaker 1>the end of that time in your life. I know,

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<v Speaker 1>I still have to move my daughter in. I know

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<v Speaker 1>I still have to go to parents' weekends. Or I

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<v Speaker 1>shouldn't say I have to. I get to I get

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<v Speaker 1>that privilege of joining her, and so the finality of

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<v Speaker 1>that isn't over, which probably gave me a little reprieve

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<v Speaker 1>on the emotion with my son. I'm able to just

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<v Speaker 1>kind of enjoy because I still get to see Taylor there.

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<v Speaker 1>Because I've thought long and hard about why I wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>more emotional after the graduation this weekend, because I really

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<v Speaker 1>thought it might hit me more, And there were some

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<v Speaker 1>times I'm not gonna lie, you know, I teared up

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<v Speaker 1>just things that hit me. There were moments that hit

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<v Speaker 1>me at you know, with my mom and dad being there.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think, also, I'm a I'm a caretaker and

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<v Speaker 1>a facilitator, and I plan a lot of this stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm getting everybody hotel rooms and all this stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>and so I think in the moment, you're a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit detached because you're just trying to make sure everybody's

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<v Speaker 1>taken care of. And so maybe maybe it will settle

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<v Speaker 1>in a little later and hit me a little harder.

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<v Speaker 1>But right now I'm kind of just basking in the

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<v Speaker 1>glow of being so grateful and so happy for him

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<v Speaker 1>and so proud. I was thinking of something else the

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<v Speaker 1>other day, and before I leave you, I want to

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<v Speaker 1>I want to hit on this. Some people have asked,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, what is the secret to raising kids? And

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<v Speaker 1>you know, there's tons of podcasts, there's tons of books,

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<v Speaker 1>and I will say this. I don't have it all

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<v Speaker 1>figured out. Nobody does. No, no, no parent has it

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<v Speaker 1>all figured out. And the reason they don't is no

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<v Speaker 1>child is the same. You know, what worked on my

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<v Speaker 1>son does not work on my daughter. What works on

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<v Speaker 1>my daughter does not work on my son. You treat

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<v Speaker 1>them differently. They are different humans completely their emotions, their thoughts,

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<v Speaker 1>their feelings. But with that said, there is one thing

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<v Speaker 1>I was thinking about this the other day of like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>why are both of our children great human beings? They're successful,

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<v Speaker 1>they're smart, they're doing well in school. What has kept

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<v Speaker 1>them on that path of success? And how I define success,

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<v Speaker 1>by the way, is just being a good person, most

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<v Speaker 1>importantly being a good citizen, being a good human, caring,

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<v Speaker 1>having empathy, having love for others, gracious, educated, thoughtful, mindful,

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<v Speaker 1>And they check all those boxes and then some. And

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<v Speaker 1>so to me, they are unbelievably successful. And I think

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<v Speaker 1>the word that stuck out the most to me as

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<v Speaker 1>I see my son take this step and continue his

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<v Speaker 1>life accountability and not just accountable to you, the mom

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<v Speaker 1>or the dad, but I see them accountable to others.

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<v Speaker 1>When when we had our gathering for graduation, we are

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<v Speaker 1>fortunate enough that we have two grandparents. My mom and

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<v Speaker 1>dad are still alive. Their cousins were there, their cousins

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<v Speaker 1>wives were there, they were others, friends, and so I

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<v Speaker 1>always thought it was important in my life of why

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<v Speaker 1>I was successful is I was accountable to others, my parents,

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<v Speaker 1>my brother. I never wanted to let my brother down,

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<v Speaker 1>my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, whoever it is. I felt

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<v Speaker 1>like I had to answer to them. I felt like

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<v Speaker 1>they were always watching. What would they say if I

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<v Speaker 1>had to go tell them what I did? And sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>if I really screwed up when I was a kid,

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<v Speaker 1>my parents would make me tell my grandparents, which was

0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:16.480
<v Speaker 1>a fate worse than death. But I felt like I

0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:20.520
<v Speaker 1>was able to give that to my kids, pass that

0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:27.160
<v Speaker 1>on because let's face it, you know, my kids didn't

0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.680
<v Speaker 1>struggle in their life. They knew where their next meal

0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:32.840
<v Speaker 1>was coming from. They grew up with a house over

0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.840
<v Speaker 1>their head. So how do you keep that hunger no

0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.360
<v Speaker 1>matter where you grow up and how you grow up,

0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:42.960
<v Speaker 1>how do you keep the hunger and that thirst for

0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:47.760
<v Speaker 1>knowledge and to strive to be successful? It's accountability. I

0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:49.680
<v Speaker 1>think that's what I'm narrowing it down to. As I

0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:52.160
<v Speaker 1>think about it all, and I've given a lot of

0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:55.120
<v Speaker 1>thought over the last week or so after graduation. Is

0:13:55.760 --> 0:14:00.679
<v Speaker 1>Josh is accountable to me, to his mom, to Lauren,

0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:06.600
<v Speaker 1>to his stepdad, to his cousins, brothers, sisters. Knowing that

0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:11.280
<v Speaker 1>you have to answer to all of us, and knowing

0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:13.960
<v Speaker 1>you would have to tell us what you did if

0:14:14.000 --> 0:14:17.640
<v Speaker 1>you did wrong, I think keeps you on that path,

0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:20.400
<v Speaker 1>and it doesn't make It doesn't mean you won't make mistakes,

0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:22.720
<v Speaker 1>but it will also mean that when you do make mistakes,

0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:26.320
<v Speaker 1>you're accountable. Even when I went through what I went

0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.680
<v Speaker 1>through a post bachelor and with all the bachelor stuff,

0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:34.120
<v Speaker 1>I sat with Lauren and my daughter and my son

0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:39.680
<v Speaker 1>at the dinner table and answered questions and allowed them

0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:43.080
<v Speaker 1>to be blunt and honest, and we talked about everything

0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:47.480
<v Speaker 1>and owning everything. And it didn't matter to me as

0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:49.520
<v Speaker 1>much to be accountable to the rest of the world

0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:52.480
<v Speaker 1>and social media because I don't no offense, don't know

0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:55.000
<v Speaker 1>ninety nine point nine percent of the people out there.

0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:59.680
<v Speaker 1>But to those people around the dinner table that night

0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:04.160
<v Speaker 1>and subsequent dinners that mattered to me. I had to

0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:08.280
<v Speaker 1>be accountable to them. And so accountability is huge. And

0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:11.240
<v Speaker 1>if I could ever impart any wisdom to a parent.

0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:16.960
<v Speaker 1>Keep your children accountable, don't make it easy on them

0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:20.400
<v Speaker 1>to do wrong, don't make it easy for them to

0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:25.800
<v Speaker 1>let them off the hook. You know, they have to

0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:29.240
<v Speaker 1>answer to somebody, And sometimes it's a parent, if you're

0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:32.880
<v Speaker 1>lucky enough to have parents, a grandparent, but it can

0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:36.400
<v Speaker 1>also be a mentor a coach, a teacher. And if

0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:38.640
<v Speaker 1>you don't have someone in your life, try to seek

0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:41.360
<v Speaker 1>that out. Try to seek out people who keep you accountable.

0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:44.840
<v Speaker 1>I really do think that is a massive part of

0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:50.640
<v Speaker 1>the reason why both my kids want to achieve their

0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:54.560
<v Speaker 1>own path and achieve their own greatness whatever that is.

0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:57.400
<v Speaker 1>And I'm not just talking about money. Whatever that means

0:15:57.440 --> 0:16:02.280
<v Speaker 1>to you. Achieving that and wanting to achieve that is important,

0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:04.840
<v Speaker 1>and I think when you're accountable to others, that is

0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:10.160
<v Speaker 1>part of it. Thank you so much. It uh, it's

0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:12.560
<v Speaker 1>it's it's wild to get to this point in your

0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:16.080
<v Speaker 1>life where you know kids are are are moving on.

0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:20.120
<v Speaker 1>And my relationship with Joshua will no doubt change, it

0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:23.280
<v Speaker 1>already has to a large degree. Our conversations are different,

0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:26.800
<v Speaker 1>My advice is different. It is real world stuff. It

0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:32.440
<v Speaker 1>is money and insurance and you know, down payments on

0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:35.200
<v Speaker 1>stuff and you know, think they you know, the basics

0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:41.360
<v Speaker 1>of life. Now that I get to impart, I am

0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:50.280
<v Speaker 1>so thankful that I'm here for it. HM. Didn't plan

0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:52.960
<v Speaker 1>on getting emotional with you today. I guess I should

0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:54.720
<v Speaker 1>have planned on it with this. But you know, when

0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:58.960
<v Speaker 1>I think of Lauren, and you know, her dad didn't

0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:03.640
<v Speaker 1>have the opportunity that I do, and I think of

0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:11.360
<v Speaker 1>him often in these situations. Gary, I think of Elsie's

0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:16.439
<v Speaker 1>dad because he and his mom, Donna, they did the

0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:20.640
<v Speaker 1>hard work, They pushed their children, they held them accountable.

0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:23.639
<v Speaker 1>Lauren is so accountable to others in her family and

0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:27.159
<v Speaker 1>in her life, and still accountable to her dad. But

0:17:28.920 --> 0:17:32.560
<v Speaker 1>I am sorry that he doesn't get to enjoy the

0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:36.080
<v Speaker 1>spoils of that and have that friendship that I know

0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:39.720
<v Speaker 1>he would have with Lauren. And so when I sit

0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:43.280
<v Speaker 1>there at about the same age that he passed away,

0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:50.160
<v Speaker 1>and I think how grateful I am that I got

0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:54.280
<v Speaker 1>to sit in that auditorium and watch Joshua graduate, And

0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:57.880
<v Speaker 1>every day I realize is so blessed that I get

0:17:57.920 --> 0:18:02.680
<v Speaker 1>to enjoy the fruits of my labor. And we use

0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:05.119
<v Speaker 1>labor with a loose term because it's yes, yes, it

0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:07.680
<v Speaker 1>is work being a parent, but it's it's a it's

0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:11.119
<v Speaker 1>a love right. But the fact that I get to

0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:13.679
<v Speaker 1>enjoy these things, it's not lost on me that I

0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:16.240
<v Speaker 1>get to enjoy every day and I get to watch

0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:18.880
<v Speaker 1>him move in and if the Good Lord has will

0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:21.440
<v Speaker 1>bless me a little bit longer, hopefully I will get

0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:24.399
<v Speaker 1>to see them be married, and hopefully, if it's in

0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:29.280
<v Speaker 1>the cards, grandchildren, and you know, each of those monumental moments,

0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:31.760
<v Speaker 1>and I think of Lauren, who doesn't get to have that.

0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:33.679
<v Speaker 1>And I know there's others out there who don't, you know,

0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:36.080
<v Speaker 1>and we just went through Mother's Day, And if you

0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:40.760
<v Speaker 1>don't have that, I feel for you. But I hope

0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:45.159
<v Speaker 1>you will also be grateful for the work that was

0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:48.280
<v Speaker 1>put in when they had that time, and be grateful

0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:51.040
<v Speaker 1>for the moments that we do get to enjoy, because

0:18:51.720 --> 0:18:54.119
<v Speaker 1>life is short. It's all too short, and we are

0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:57.080
<v Speaker 1>reminded of that all the time. So I will enjoy

0:18:57.119 --> 0:19:00.280
<v Speaker 1>this season and I will breathe it all in and

0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:03.040
<v Speaker 1>know that there will be another season coming. And I

0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:05.800
<v Speaker 1>appreciate each and every one of you so much. I

0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:07.560
<v Speaker 1>love you, and I will talk to you again soon

0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:10.280
<v Speaker 1>because we have a lot more to talk about. Thanks

0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:13.040
<v Speaker 1>for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most Dramatic

0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:15.480
<v Speaker 1>pod ever, and make sure to write us a review

0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:18.280
<v Speaker 1>and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.