1
00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:03,200
Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

2
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,400
Speaker 1: you need advice on a relationship's work, sex, parenting, and more,

3
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:10,640
Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

4
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:13,960
Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

5
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,600
Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read

6
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,680
Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

7
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,640
Speaker 1: it could be yours. It could be yours. Buckle up

8
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,160
Speaker 1: and hold on tight. We got it for you here.

9
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:29,080
Speaker 1: It is Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. My daughter's husband

10
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:33,040
Speaker 1: is the subject. Dear Stephen Shirley. My daughter got married

11
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,600
Speaker 1: young and she has a short attention span. She's almost

12
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,040
Speaker 1: thirty and it looks like she's about to cheat on

13
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,360
Speaker 1: her husband. She married a man that's thirty eight, and

14
00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:45,160
Speaker 1: he's a lot more settled than she is. My daughter

15
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,360
Speaker 1: has been talking to a new guy on the phone,

16
00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,160
Speaker 1: and she told me he's smart and funny. I've seen

17
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,840
Speaker 1: her ignore her husband's calls when she's on the phone

18
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,360
Speaker 1: with him, and she doesn't even know her four year

19
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,520
Speaker 1: old exists. I asked if she was having an affair.

20
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:04,560
Speaker 1: She said they are platonic friends. The other night, she

21
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,440
Speaker 1: was supposed to come pick her son up, and I

22
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:11,280
Speaker 1: hadn't heard from her. She wasn't answering her my calls

23
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,920
Speaker 1: or text so reluctantly I called her house and her

24
00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:17,480
Speaker 1: husband picked up, and he said he was looking for

25
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,920
Speaker 1: her too a few more. A few minutes later, he

26
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,480
Speaker 1: came to get the baby, and I could tell he'd

27
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,959
Speaker 1: been drinking because he was talkative. He said he thinks

28
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,560
Speaker 1: my daughter is cheating on him, and she hasn't had

29
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,440
Speaker 1: sex with him in a month. I felt so bad

30
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,160
Speaker 1: for him, so I hugged him. He told me that

31
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,520
Speaker 1: I felt real good, and he squeezed my behind with

32
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:43,240
Speaker 1: both hands. I stood there frozen for a second before

33
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,360
Speaker 1: I pulled away from him. He apologized and said he'd

34
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:50,000
Speaker 1: been drinking, but then laughed and said, I do feel

35
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,520
Speaker 1: like silk. He asked me if I had ever thought

36
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,360
Speaker 1: about him in a romantic way. He said when he

37
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,320
Speaker 1: first met my daughter and I, he was initially attracted

38
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,520
Speaker 1: to me. I clearly remember that day, and I did

39
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:06,800
Speaker 1: think he was fine af but not for me. I'm

40
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,400
Speaker 1: only forty eight and a man ten years younger can't

41
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,240
Speaker 1: handle me. It's a good thing my boyfriend called when

42
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:16,760
Speaker 1: he did, because things got heated quickly. I know I

43
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,160
Speaker 1: need to talk to my daughter about her bad behavior,

44
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,360
Speaker 1: but do I need to tell her about her husband's

45
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:25,359
Speaker 1: behavior too, well, I mean not if you don't want

46
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,400
Speaker 1: to blow up the spot. Because this letter took a

47
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,919
Speaker 1: hard left. I mean it really really did, and you're

48
00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,359
Speaker 1: talking about it got heated quickly and all of this.

49
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,800
Speaker 1: I mean, were you into this? You know it sounds

50
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,120
Speaker 1: kind of like you were. So I'm gonna tell you this, mom,

51
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,920
Speaker 1: you need to back all the way out of your

52
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,960
Speaker 1: daughter's marital issues, telling her husband, telling her about her

53
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,880
Speaker 1: husband's behavior, No need to at this point. She doesn't

54
00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,040
Speaker 1: care what you have to say anyway. I mean, you've

55
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,840
Speaker 1: asked her about this other man. She's still doing her thing.

56
00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,079
Speaker 1: In other words, the only person she's listening to right

57
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:03,120
Speaker 1: now is her so called platonic friend. You said. She

58
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,160
Speaker 1: even ignores calls when it's her husband when she's talking

59
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,680
Speaker 1: to this other guy. Your daughter needs to be concerned

60
00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,600
Speaker 1: about her son. She's taking you for granted because she

61
00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:13,959
Speaker 1: knows the baby safe with you. She can stay out

62
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,880
Speaker 1: for days or whatever and not have to worry about

63
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,720
Speaker 1: him because she knows you got him. It's very selfish

64
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,920
Speaker 1: and irresponsible of her to take advantage of you that way.

65
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,760
Speaker 1: So now you need to get serious and start telling

66
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,160
Speaker 1: her no, you can't babysit. If you miss the baby,

67
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,480
Speaker 1: you can go over there and visit him in her

68
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,640
Speaker 1: house for a couple of hours, then leave period. And

69
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:40,280
Speaker 1: I would suggest taking your boyfriend too. That might keep

70
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,240
Speaker 1: her at home, you know, if you go over there.

71
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,520
Speaker 1: The other thing you need to do is never ever

72
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:48,280
Speaker 1: allow her husband to pick up this baby and drive

73
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,080
Speaker 1: anywhere or anything like that. Maybe he walked over to

74
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,720
Speaker 1: your house, I don't know, but don't do that, especially

75
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:58,200
Speaker 1: when he's clearly been drinking. And please tell him when

76
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,320
Speaker 1: you get the opportunity, and no one certain terms. Should

77
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,960
Speaker 1: he ever touch you like that and do what he

78
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,200
Speaker 1: did squeezing your butt and saying he wanted you first.

79
00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:11,040
Speaker 1: Come on, That's never gonna happen again. It's their marriage.

80
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,119
Speaker 1: They have to figure this situation out, get through their

81
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,000
Speaker 1: own problems. Stay out of it, mom, she's going to

82
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,880
Speaker 1: end up resenting you if you don't, and please stay

83
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:28,200
Speaker 1: away from her husband. Steve Shelly, Shelly Shirley, wonderful answer

84
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:32,760
Speaker 1: you just gave. Full of hope and optimism and getting

85
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,640
Speaker 1: people to do the right things and all that. That's wonderful.

86
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,080
Speaker 1: And to the lady who wrote the letter, please listen

87
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,640
Speaker 1: to what Shirley told you. Now what I'm about to

88
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:46,880
Speaker 1: tell you. I'm here to tell you about yourself. Now.

89
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:50,599
Speaker 1: If you can see some help in that, fine, But

90
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,680
Speaker 1: my initial approach is not to help you, it's to

91
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:59,640
Speaker 1: tell you the truth. Let's start with the truth. You

92
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,839
Speaker 1: say your daughter got married young and she has a

93
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:07,359
Speaker 1: short attention span. That's not what she has, and I

94
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,960
Speaker 1: will prove it throughout the letter. She doesn't have a

95
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:15,480
Speaker 1: short attention span. She's not. She has a maturity problem

96
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:20,320
Speaker 1: and a morality problem. She has a maturity problem and

97
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,719
Speaker 1: a morality problem. They ain't got nothing to do with

98
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,840
Speaker 1: short attention span. She and in school. This ain't a

99
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:31,039
Speaker 1: d D. This ain't what this is. So now she's

100
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,839
Speaker 1: almost thirty and looked like she's about to cheat on

101
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,920
Speaker 1: her husband. She's married to a man that's thirty eight.

102
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,800
Speaker 1: He's a lot more subtle than she is. My daughter

103
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,440
Speaker 1: has been talking to a new guy on the phone,

104
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,320
Speaker 1: and she told me he's smart and funny. I've seen

105
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,680
Speaker 1: her know her husband's call when he's on the phone

106
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,599
Speaker 1: with him, and she doesn't even know her four year

107
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:54,360
Speaker 1: old exists. That's not a short attention stick attention span.

108
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:58,320
Speaker 1: She has a maturity problem and a moral problem. And

109
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,359
Speaker 1: she's not even a good mother. Your daughter is just

110
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,440
Speaker 1: not a really, really good person so far. In the letter,

111
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,559
Speaker 1: I asked her if she's having a fair She said,

112
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:11,880
Speaker 1: they are in a pluton They are plutonic friends. Yeah, well,

113
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:19,920
Speaker 1: platonic whatever that means whatever the key word in that. Yeah, well,

114
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:26,640
Speaker 1: the keyword in platonic is tonic, and tonic always means

115
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:32,600
Speaker 1: something tonic. Always remember that about plutonic, that means it's

116
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:37,240
Speaker 1: something in. Now we have to take over a plutonic relationship. Okay,

117
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,840
Speaker 1: whatever you want to call, it's platonic. Okay, listen, we're

118
00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:44,040
Speaker 1: coming back with part two of the Strawberry Letter and

119
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:48,360
Speaker 1: Steve's Steve's second half you don't want to miss as well.

120
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,359
Speaker 1: The subject is my daughter's husband. We'll get back into

121
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:57,000
Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening to the show, Come on, Steve,

122
00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:03,160
Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letter. The subject is my daughter's husband. Well,

123
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,320
Speaker 1: this woman wrote this letter about this thirty year old daughter.

124
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:08,720
Speaker 1: She says that she has a short attention span. We

125
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,000
Speaker 1: find out in the letter she has a maturity problem,

126
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,160
Speaker 1: a moral's problem, and she's just not a good mother.

127
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,280
Speaker 1: Doesn't seem like a nice person to me. She's married

128
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,320
Speaker 1: to a man. Her daughter that's thirty. She's married to

129
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,760
Speaker 1: a man that's thirty eight. He's more settled. My daughter's

130
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,200
Speaker 1: been talking to a new guy on the phone that

131
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:26,920
Speaker 1: he describes as smart and funny. She ignores her husband

132
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,600
Speaker 1: calls whenever she's on the phone, and she doesn't even

133
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,080
Speaker 1: know her four year old exists. I asked her. The

134
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,400
Speaker 1: mother asked the daughter, she's having a fan. She said,

135
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:39,560
Speaker 1: they in a platonic relationship. Plutonic is what is spelled

136
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:46,080
Speaker 1: p L platonic. We're having a disagreement about that. Shirley,

137
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,280
Speaker 1: of course knows the proper pronunciation of it, but I

138
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,240
Speaker 1: know the meaning of it. See. Knowing how a word

139
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,840
Speaker 1: is pronounced and what it means is two different things.

140
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,840
Speaker 1: Key word in here is tonic tonic, mean that's something

141
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,040
Speaker 1: in it. So if you're in a platonic or plutonic

142
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:06,160
Speaker 1: relationship with a man or woman, the keyword is tonic

143
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,880
Speaker 1: tonic meaning a something minute or else. What you're having

144
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:13,720
Speaker 1: a fault talking to me. Anyway, the other night, she

145
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,440
Speaker 1: was supposed to come pick up her son, and I

146
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,800
Speaker 1: hadn't heard from it. She wasn't answering the calls in text,

147
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:22,520
Speaker 1: so she reluctantly called her house. Her husband picked up

148
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,840
Speaker 1: the phone, said he was looking forward to a few

149
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,560
Speaker 1: minutes later he came to get the baby, and I

150
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:30,400
Speaker 1: could tell he'd been drinking because he was talkative. He said,

151
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,960
Speaker 1: he thinks your daughter's cheating on him, and he ain't

152
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,760
Speaker 1: had sex with her and the mom. See now all

153
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,560
Speaker 1: of this gets blamed on drinking. But I'm gonna show

154
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:43,440
Speaker 1: you something about this in a minute. Now. If she

155
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:47,720
Speaker 1: wasn't answering the phone for nobody text phone calls her,

156
00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:55,360
Speaker 1: she was in the plutonic relationship. This is where she was.

157
00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:04,280
Speaker 1: It is spelled p lutoluto. Pluto is a Disney character.

158
00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:06,720
Speaker 1: But if you put tonic on the end of it,

159
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:14,000
Speaker 1: that mean he handsome, see Pluto? Was it augh plutonic

160
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:17,880
Speaker 1: relationship with Daisy Duck. But get what though, But y'all

161
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:23,080
Speaker 1: didn't know behind the scene was he was doing Daisy?

162
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,080
Speaker 1: And Shelly just said it getting it in right. There

163
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:32,439
Speaker 1: always something Donald didn't know, just like the husband, and

164
00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:37,319
Speaker 1: this letter don't know anyway, and said that his daughter

165
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,320
Speaker 1: been cheating on him and she ain't had sex with

166
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,439
Speaker 1: him in the month. I felt so bad for him,

167
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:45,000
Speaker 1: so I hugged him. He told me I felt good,

168
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:49,520
Speaker 1: and he squeezed my behind with both hands. I still there,

169
00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:53,400
Speaker 1: frozen for a second before I pulled away from him.

170
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,839
Speaker 1: He apologized and said he'd been drinking, and then laughed

171
00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,760
Speaker 1: and said I felt like silvery. Okay, let's quit blaming

172
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:04,400
Speaker 1: everything on drinking. First of all, he wasn't drinking that

173
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,560
Speaker 1: much because he drove over to the house. He wasn't

174
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,760
Speaker 1: drinking that much because you was willing to put your

175
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,520
Speaker 1: grand baby in the car with him and let him

176
00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,000
Speaker 1: drive home. He wasn't drinking that much because he was

177
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:25,200
Speaker 1: cupping your aid. WHOA, see what all this got to

178
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:29,040
Speaker 1: do with with drinking, because I've done all this stuff

179
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,280
Speaker 1: without a sip. So let's quit blaming this on drinking.

180
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,439
Speaker 1: Because now let's get into what you said. He asked

181
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,880
Speaker 1: me if I had ever thought about him in a

182
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,040
Speaker 1: romantic way, because he said when we first met my

183
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:45,400
Speaker 1: daughter and I he was initially attracted to me. Then

184
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,720
Speaker 1: you said, I clearly remember that day, and I did

185
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:53,080
Speaker 1: think he was fine a fl okay, lady, where that

186
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,880
Speaker 1: come from? You didn't even have to put that in

187
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,959
Speaker 1: the letter. But you know when he grabbed you, it

188
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,800
Speaker 1: took you, it from old you, and it took you

189
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,600
Speaker 1: several moments to push away. Then you said, I'm only

190
00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:08,679
Speaker 1: forty eight and a man ten years younger can't handle me.

191
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:13,040
Speaker 1: That's not true. Oh lord, lady, that's not true. You

192
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,280
Speaker 1: forty eight and a man thirty eight can't handle you.

193
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:23,440
Speaker 1: That's not true. I've been thirty eight before. Helloy, eight

194
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:28,360
Speaker 1: year old boy. Let me tell you something. I was

195
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:34,920
Speaker 1: twenty three one time. Yeah yeah, grown woman, good and

196
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,840
Speaker 1: grown taught me something. But after I learned that though,

197
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:47,200
Speaker 1: who yeah, because the cutback ability I had at twenty

198
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:51,680
Speaker 1: three was incredible. Oh you got me, but give me

199
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,720
Speaker 1: five minutes to watch this hill. I could. I could.

200
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:59,319
Speaker 1: I did multiple shows in a night. It was easy.

201
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,200
Speaker 1: That's why I and I became a stand up. To

202
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,200
Speaker 1: do Fox shows in the night wasn't nothing for me

203
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,400
Speaker 1: because I'd been four five shows I was used to

204
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:11,040
Speaker 1: perform in multiple times in the night. Anyway, A good thing,

205
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,920
Speaker 1: my boyfriend called what he did. Because things heat it

206
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,760
Speaker 1: up quickly, I know, I need to talk to my

207
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,320
Speaker 1: daughter about her bad behavior, but I need do I

208
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,720
Speaker 1: need to tell her about her husband's behavior too? Well,

209
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,960
Speaker 1: then hold on, now you're also gonna have to tell

210
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,480
Speaker 1: her about your behavior, because you did mention some bad

211
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,080
Speaker 1: behavior of your own in here. You did think he

212
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,920
Speaker 1: was fine al and you did say if your boyfriend

213
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:38,520
Speaker 1: had not called, things was heating up really quickly, so

214
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,600
Speaker 1: you was entertaining the conversation and all of this here.

215
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,520
Speaker 1: So now you can talk to your daughter, But I

216
00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,520
Speaker 1: think the whole family kind of a little bit tricky,

217
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,400
Speaker 1: and I think the dude to thirty eight year old

218
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,920
Speaker 1: know it. So please write us back after you having

219
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:58,120
Speaker 1: a fair with this boy that can't happen. That's fitting up.

220
00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:05,199
Speaker 1: Put it on your days, playing it on you at Instagram,

221
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,120
Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey FM, and please check out the Strawberry

222
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,199
Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand. Coming up next it is Junior

223
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,679
Speaker 1: with Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the

224
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,240
Speaker 1: Stave Harvey Morning Show