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Speaker 1: Hey, kty Misconnections. That was me staring. It's a special

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Speaker 1: holiday edition of Craigslist Misconnections today.

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Speaker 2: We're getting in the spirit, I see.

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Speaker 1: And during this time of year, there's only two places

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Speaker 1: to find true love. One is on the ice skating

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Speaker 1: rink next to the hockey players beating each other with

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Speaker 1: frozen Yule logs. Yeah, I think those are logs. The

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Speaker 1: second is on the pages of craigslist dot org. We

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Speaker 1: scour that website every week and we found the best

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Speaker 1: holiday misconnections that they had to offer us, like this

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Speaker 1: first one titled you.

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Speaker 3: Help Me pick out the Perfect Christmas Tree?

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Speaker 1: Oh I love this lie woman for Man seventy three

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Speaker 1: behind the strip mall oh.

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Speaker 3: Random, She says, I'm kind of a novice when it

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Speaker 3: comes to picking out Christmas trees. My second husband, Gerald

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Speaker 3: god Rest his soul, used to cut them down himself

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Speaker 3: by taking them out of other people's yards.

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Speaker 2: You sound.

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Speaker 3: Years. When I was tree shopping the other night, you

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Speaker 3: appeared out of nowhere like a pine needle Cris Kringle,

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Speaker 3: and you told me you knew the secret to picking

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Speaker 3: out the perfect tree. You then plucked exactly three needles

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Speaker 3: from the one I was looking at and placed them

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Speaker 3: on the top of your tongue.

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Speaker 2: Nomore, you swished them around in your mouth like a

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Speaker 2: fine wine, and proceeded to tell me what month and

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Speaker 2: day the tree was cut down, and what region.

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Speaker 3: Two was very impressive, and apparently you weren't done for

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Speaker 3: the next five minutes. You got up inside my tree

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Speaker 3: and ran your fingers up and down its wooden trunk,

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Speaker 3: inspecting it for imperfections and holes where small creatures could

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Speaker 3: hide it.

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Speaker 2: I think so, I don't think that's after you were done.

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Speaker 3: I went to pay and told the cashier to give

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Speaker 3: you my number. But so far it's been quiet on

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Speaker 3: the home front. But if I'm being honest, the fires

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Speaker 3: are roaring downstairs.

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Speaker 2: I think you want anything on fire down there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, how about a complimentary house call to water my bush?

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Speaker 3: Oh tree?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god? That's signed Genevieve Sure.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: This next misconnection is titled I Know what I wish

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Speaker 1: for this Christmas. It's you man for a woman forty

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Speaker 1: one Santa's Workshop. He says, I was in line with

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Speaker 1: my five kids looking to get some Sanna pics when

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Speaker 1: I spotted you, Oh man, five children. Wow, you had

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Speaker 1: on red tights, a short green mini skirt, and some

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Speaker 1: curly hooker shoes.

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Speaker 2: I think.

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Speaker 1: That's when I realized you weren't just another floozy walking

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Speaker 1: around the mall looking for a trick. I don't think

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Speaker 1: that that's what happens at the mall. You were Santa's

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Speaker 1: Elf for the day. When it was our turn, my

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Speaker 1: five little felons ran into the jolly Guy's lap. I

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Speaker 1: tried a few pickup lines. They were mostly about gingerbread

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Speaker 1: hardening in the oven. You said you didn't get it,

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Speaker 1: and I said you will. Before I knew it, my

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Speaker 1: youngest Milo took off Sanna's boot and threw up in it.

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Speaker 1: In the craziness, we got separated and I chased my

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Speaker 1: kids all the way over to the food court for

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Speaker 1: security escorted us out. Oh wow, but it's all right.

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Speaker 1: I'll see you again next week when I bring my

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Speaker 1: other three kids for a picture. Children. That's signed drabberber

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Speaker 1: oh Man. He made eight children at least that we

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Speaker 1: know of Brook. You know he's a casanova hooker.

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Speaker 2: That Nick Cannon's cousin.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to your next holiday theme misconnection. This one

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Speaker 1: says you're the new girl man for woman thirty six

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Speaker 1: the office. He says, I met you at one of

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Speaker 1: the lamest company holiday parties I've ever been to. Ours

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Speaker 1: must have been at ours. According to the rules, this

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Speaker 1: year's party had to be a dry event, which meant

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Speaker 1: no alcohol. That's why I know I was actually attracted

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Speaker 1: to you, because I wasn't pulling up to Slosh Island.

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Speaker 2: Look at that little bright side to sobriety.

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Speaker 1: You were wearing snowflake shaped earrings and a Christmas sweater

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Speaker 1: with blinking lights that said bipolaris breast.

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Speaker 2: So funny.

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Speaker 1: We were chatting about how boring the party was when

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Speaker 1: I offered a spice things up a little. That's when

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Speaker 1: I showed you my hidden flask and you giggled with delight.

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Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, you have her.

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Speaker 1: After we shared a couple swigs, you got a weird

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Speaker 1: look on your face and told me I was an

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Speaker 1: embarrassment to serious drinkers everywhere. Oh you walked away, and

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Speaker 1: I thought I was out of luck.

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Speaker 2: Oh she was actually just disappointed.

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Speaker 1: But five minutes later you came back and whispered in

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Speaker 1: my ear, so you really want a party, And that's

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Speaker 1: when you chugged a tiny bottle of liquid white out

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Speaker 1: and kissed me on the forehead, leaving a white lipstains. Oh, Mama,

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Speaker 1: she's gotta have at least ulcers. After that, I lost

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Speaker 1: track of you in the crowd, but the last thing

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Speaker 1: I saw were paramedics pulling up to the front of

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Speaker 1: the bill. There. It is gotta be bad.

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Speaker 2: It's like paint.

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Speaker 1: I figured you were involved. Yeah, let me know how

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Speaker 1: things ended up. And to tell the truth, I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure I'm ready for you. But what the hell? This

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Speaker 1: year has been a disaster anyway, I signed Rob and

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Speaker 1: on the worse note, more toxic than you. In the

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Speaker 1: white out holiday themed Craigslist miscon happy Holidays, we got

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Speaker 1: a phone to have coming up right after this