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Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody to another episode of Wide Open with

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Speaker 1: Ashland Harris. I'm here today with our special guest, Sky Marshall.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited.

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Speaker 3: To have you.

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Speaker 2: I am thrilled to be here.

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Speaker 1: And for those of you who don't know who Sky is,

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Speaker 1: besides being an incredible human and friend, recent friend, which

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Speaker 1: I feel like I've known you my whole.

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Speaker 2: Life, but that's just the Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I remember like you took my breath away and I

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Speaker 3: was like, oh my gosh, she does look like a

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Speaker 3: unicorn in real life and it was like, oh it hurt,

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Speaker 3: Like it was like this envy.

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Speaker 2: I didn't like that feeling.

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Speaker 1: It was like, oh gee, we had brunch together and

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Speaker 1: I was like, she's never leaving.

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Speaker 2: My life and never runch lasted four hours.

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Speaker 1: It sure did with a lot of drinking.

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Speaker 2: So cheers to Wide Open. Congratulations, thank you.

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Speaker 1: And to you too, which we're going to dive into

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Speaker 1: because because you are absolutely crushing it and I am

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Speaker 1: so proud. I'm so proud to be able to turn

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Speaker 1: the TV on and see you with Kathy Baits like,

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Speaker 1: what are we talking about now?

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Speaker 3: I'm still pinching myself when people say you and Kathy

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Speaker 3: Bates and like yeah, like I.

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Speaker 2: It's unreal. It's like hitting the lottery.

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Speaker 1: Sky is starring right now in the new series on

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Speaker 1: CBS Matt Walck, which you've been on, This is US

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Speaker 1: Shameless nine to one one. Gosh, I helped me out.

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Speaker 1: There's so many Gray's Anatomy, Good Sam, good Sam, girl,

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Speaker 1: but this is this is different. This feels different. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so update me, tell me what's going on. Clearly it's

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Speaker 1: been incredibly successful. You got a nomination. You guys all

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Speaker 1: got a nomination.

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Speaker 3: I got my first nomination from the critics, and a

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Speaker 3: lot of people like I was like wait what.

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Speaker 1: And there's already they're like yes, second season, which nowadays

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Speaker 1: it's like.

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Speaker 3: It's a big deal, huge after the second episode usually

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Speaker 3: they want to ride it out and they want to

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Speaker 3: see like beginning, middle, end before they issue that season

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Speaker 3: two and after the second episode of eighteen, Like that

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Speaker 3: was unreal, So don't I.

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Speaker 1: Like before we jump into what it's like to star

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Speaker 1: with Kathy Bates, which is fucking incredible because she is

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Speaker 1: that likely she is, how did it start? Who is

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Speaker 1: Sky as a young girl? What made this like so

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Speaker 1: spec Like what was your upbringing. What was your life like,

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Speaker 1: because no one just gets to this, Yeah, without an

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Speaker 1: insane journey.

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Speaker 2: You're right.

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Speaker 3: It is the origin story that creates incredible artists, incredible athletes,

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Speaker 3: people that have that option to choose fight or flight,

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Speaker 3: and they fight. That fight was put in them at

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Speaker 3: a very young age, whether they were actively fighting at

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Speaker 3: a young age, or they watched their mother or they

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Speaker 3: watched their father have to fight. And that's where it

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Speaker 3: began for me. I grew up daughter of a doctor

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Speaker 3: in a small town in Virginia. I was the Huxtable family.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: My mom was the perfect mom, stay at home, We

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Speaker 3: did the country clubs, the four age camp, the girl Scouts.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: It was that picture perfect.

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Speaker 3: American dream that my dad and my mom always wanted

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Speaker 3: to accomplish for themselves.

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Speaker 2: And they did it.

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Speaker 3: And then when I was twelve years old, I came

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Speaker 3: home from that private school in my uniform and the

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Speaker 3: house was full of people and I did not know

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Speaker 3: who these people were. I was just told to get

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Speaker 3: in the car, and I got in my mom's car

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Speaker 3: with my two siblings and we left.

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Speaker 2: Wow, it's weird. It's still in you. It never leaves it.

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Speaker 2: It never leaves you.

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Speaker 3: And uh, yeah, we left Virginia and we had to

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Speaker 3: go to Chicago, where my mom grew up, and so

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Speaker 3: we were in the bottom, like we were in the hood.

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Speaker 2: Girl scouts turning to gangs.

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Speaker 3: Uh, ballet turn to hip hop, private school turning to

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Speaker 3: public school. I later realized and found out that all

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Speaker 3: those people in the house was the I R. S.

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Speaker 3: And they were there to confiscate everything, and the only

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Speaker 3: thing they couldn't take was the clothes on our backs,

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Speaker 3: my mom's clothes and my mom's car because it was

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Speaker 3: paid off under her name and so my mom. I

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Speaker 3: never shared this with anybody. Damn, this is the problem

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Speaker 3: with doing podcast with your friends. I immediately go wide

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Speaker 3: open and I appreciate it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all good with me. I understand that.

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Speaker 3: And that's that's why I'm just like feeling myself just

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Speaker 3: share because I'm like, screw it. And so, yeah, I

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Speaker 3: had to find find this new version of myself because

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Speaker 3: it is the most jarring experience when for a young

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Speaker 3: black girl to now be in a black neighborhood and

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Speaker 3: they're calling you white because of the way we spoke

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Speaker 3: and how we dress, and you know, growing up in

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Speaker 3: the predominantly white community.

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Speaker 2: They didn't treat us like we were.

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Speaker 3: The only black people, right because it was like we

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Speaker 3: were we were equals.

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Speaker 2: On the social ladder.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know I was dark skin versus light skin, right, Like,

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Speaker 3: it was all these things that I was like having

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Speaker 3: to learn. You know, my mom wasn't putting all the

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Speaker 3: stuff in my hair, Like my hair was clean, so

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Speaker 3: it was good hair. I later realized it I had,

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Speaker 3: you know, it was just it was as at a

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Speaker 3: young age trying to like figure out, like how do

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Speaker 3: I fit in and learned this new dialect. And so

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Speaker 3: the dialect that I had to learn was the polar

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Speaker 3: opposite of what my mom wanted for me. Right, So

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Speaker 3: now I had to sound like I grew up on

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Speaker 3: the street. That's not something that you tend to like

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Speaker 3: reach as a goal. But you're in survival mode.

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Speaker 1: Well, especially as a young twelve year old little girl.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely like yeah, And so in survival mode, I had

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Speaker 3: to rewind a lot of the work that my parents

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Speaker 3: had did that the private school and all of that.

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Speaker 3: And my mom understood because we were in Chicago in

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Speaker 3: the nineties, you know, and.

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Speaker 2: I did.

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Speaker 3: I figured it out. I learned how to fit in

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Speaker 3: so that I was no longer bullied. And then from

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Speaker 3: there I learned how to really love the culture. I

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Speaker 3: learned how to see where they were trying to break

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Speaker 3: out of. I learned how those survival tactics were going

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Speaker 3: to help me in the long run, and how both

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Speaker 3: sides of that coin riches in the rags equally made

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Speaker 3: who I am today. But I will definitely give the

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Speaker 3: rags the credit of creating the gumption and the fight

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Speaker 3: in the in the will power that definitely gave me

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Speaker 3: that that no school, no IVY League could have provided

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Speaker 3: the school of hard knocks. Like you know, it's not

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Speaker 3: a game, no right, and everybody in the neighborhood is

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Speaker 3: your antie, everybody's your uncle. Everybody will whip you and

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Speaker 3: get you back to that house in time Forcarfiew, you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean. It was the first time I

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Speaker 3: really felt that village where perfection was not the goal,

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Speaker 3: it was being able to just cover each other and

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Speaker 3: look out for each other. And so from there I

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Speaker 3: one of the things that I remember my mom saying

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Speaker 3: to me was, you know, don't depend on a man,

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Speaker 3: want one, but don't depend on one, And so go

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Speaker 3: out there and get yours, get what you want.

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Speaker 2: Don't be an accessory to somebody else's vision.

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Speaker 1: Say that again, Don't be.

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Speaker 2: An accessory to somebody else's vision. That is power, right,

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Speaker 2: because she knew what she was creating, and she knew

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Speaker 2: I was going to be on a lot of.

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Speaker 3: Boys and girls vision board as a partner. Right, don't

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Speaker 3: let them manifest. You generate what you want. Meet somebody

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Speaker 3: in that space where they're building their dream, you're building

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Speaker 3: your dream, and together you meet each other and you

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Speaker 3: have so much in common. And so for me, I

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Speaker 3: was like, Okay. One of the things my mom had

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Speaker 3: that she was able to fall back on was a diploma.

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Speaker 3: It was a college degree because at that time that

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Speaker 3: meant everything.

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Speaker 2: And so I went to college. I went to Hampton.

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Speaker 3: University and I did not stay because we had no money.

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Speaker 2: I was like, that was that freshman year. That was cool.

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Speaker 2: But about that debt.

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Speaker 3: I remember I thought that Sally May was a person

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Speaker 3: that lived down the street and wanted to just take

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Speaker 3: your money. Yes, like I imagine Sally made it be

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Speaker 3: this absolute bitch.

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Speaker 2: And I wanted nothing to do with her ass.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, but like I would hear my mom and

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Speaker 3: my dad talk about debt in college and how much

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Speaker 3: his medical school paid for and all those things when

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Speaker 3: I was young, because I was a nosy little girl.

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Speaker 3: So I would like listen to all of their conversations

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Speaker 3: the worst. It all makes sense later in life, and

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Speaker 3: so that's what drove me to then enlist in the

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Speaker 3: Air Force.

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Speaker 2: And so I was active duty Air Force. I know, wild.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I went from prom to boot camp, like I

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Speaker 3: graduated high school prom queen, and then here.

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Speaker 2: I was going to the Air Force.

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Speaker 3: Everybody was like, I'm sorry, she did what Mmmm? I

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Speaker 3: had no one's permission. A lot of the decisions in

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Speaker 3: my life did not come with permission from other people.

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Speaker 3: And so that's where I also had to rely on

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Speaker 3: what I like to call my inner compass. And I'll

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Speaker 3: get into that a little later of like what that

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Speaker 3: means for me. And so I was just like, okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to the military. All right, let me

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Speaker 3: go do the ASVAP tessk Okay, what did I score?

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Speaker 2: Oh? I scored high.

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Speaker 3: Oh I qualified for the Air Force. Okay, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to the Air Force. And so I went to the

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Speaker 3: Air Force. And this was a year before nine to eleven.

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Speaker 3: So at that time, everybody was going into the military

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Speaker 3: to pay for college.

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Speaker 2: And then a year later, shit got real, Oh it

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Speaker 2: really did.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, can I the customer service of

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Speaker 3: the Air Force because about that, I'm not really trying

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Speaker 3: to serve my country, like I was just trying to

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Speaker 3: like get my newpaper.

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to. I mean, I just don't want

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Speaker 2: to know. I don't really mess with y'all like that,

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Speaker 2: to like go toe to toe.

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Speaker 3: With like, no, I'm out, And it didn't really didn't

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Speaker 3: work that way.

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Speaker 2: Didn't work that way.

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Speaker 3: So once I got my term completed honorably discharge, I

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Speaker 3: then went to college, got my degree. But now Uncle

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Speaker 3: Sam was my sugar daddy. He paid for all my books,

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Speaker 3: thank goodness. No, he paid for all my books. He

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Speaker 3: put me through college and I graduated marketing Communications, minor

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Speaker 3: in theater.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you did minor in theater.

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Speaker 3: Why because theater was a part of my life. Like

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Speaker 3: I said, the ballet turned to hip hop. So I

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Speaker 3: was a dancer for a long time. Even when I

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Speaker 3: was at Hampton University, I danced with a marching band.

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Speaker 3: And you know that's like a thing at those historical

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Speaker 3: colleges like the dances that come out with the man

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. So being a performer was always a

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Speaker 3: part of my life, but it was as a dance ensemble.

224
00:11:54,040 --> 00:12:01,120
Speaker 3: And so I was great at teamwork, falling in formation, choreography, timing, beats,

225
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:02,120
Speaker 3: hitting your marks.

226
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:07,280
Speaker 2: But nowhere did I ever think I would be an actor.

227
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:12,240
Speaker 3: I then came here to New York City after I

228
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,680
Speaker 3: graduated college, and I got hired at this big marketing

229
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,560
Speaker 3: firm called BGB New York. And I loved it the

230
00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,800
Speaker 3: first year, and then the second year.

231
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,120
Speaker 2: Towards the end of it.

232
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:30,240
Speaker 3: Something just kept me up at night and I didn't

233
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:34,520
Speaker 3: know what it was, but it was a discomfort of

234
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:41,240
Speaker 3: not belonging again. And it didn't make sense because I

235
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:44,520
Speaker 3: was like, but I did all the things, like I

236
00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:48,679
Speaker 3: went to college, I got the degree, Military paid for it,

237
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:51,120
Speaker 3: I don't have any debt. I got hired at this

238
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:52,719
Speaker 3: firm in New York because I've always wanted to be

239
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,280
Speaker 3: a Kerry Brashaw. So like, we're getting there, we're closed.

240
00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,640
Speaker 3: Why do I hate it? Like this isn't this doesn't

241
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:06,960
Speaker 3: make sense. And I sat with it, and you know,

242
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,640
Speaker 3: I talked to my mom about it. I was like, Mom,

243
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:14,320
Speaker 3: I don't know what I'm twenty seven about to be

244
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,839
Speaker 3: twenty eight, and I don't know what I want to

245
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:22,119
Speaker 3: do with the rest of my life. I literally donated

246
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,920
Speaker 3: all of my twenties to this journey and I don't

247
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:26,680
Speaker 3: like it.

248
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,040
Speaker 2: And that was a hard pill to swallow.

249
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:36,120
Speaker 3: And so my mom, you know, she said to me,

250
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,520
Speaker 3: you know, well, then that's what you need to ask

251
00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:41,240
Speaker 3: God for. You know, you need to ask God for

252
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:46,839
Speaker 3: guidance and to reveal and you know, whatever it is,

253
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,800
Speaker 3: you just have to be obedient.

254
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,240
Speaker 2: You can't question it. You have to. And you know

255
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,080
Speaker 2: I joke, I say, you know, at that time, I

256
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,000
Speaker 2: wasn't you know, I didn't have a relationship God. I

257
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,640
Speaker 2: was a fan of his work. I thought it was great.

258
00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:02,760
Speaker 3: I was like palm trees, you know, all this is amazing,

259
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:09,520
Speaker 3: like whining, but it wasn't like habitual prayer. I didn't

260
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:13,079
Speaker 3: have any kind of lifestyle around that. I'm still not religious.

261
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,319
Speaker 2: Well you are very, but I am very expiritual. And

262
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,439
Speaker 2: that's what I love this said.

263
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,360
Speaker 3: And I mean, if by fire crystals will come out,

264
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,960
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure I would. You would be like the

265
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,680
Speaker 3: clank clank clank plane plane right, rub that shit together, generate.

266
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:31,840
Speaker 3: But yeah, but that was the beginning of where when

267
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,920
Speaker 3: she said that to me, I was like, Okay, I

268
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,920
Speaker 3: have to believe in something bigger than me. Not I'm

269
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,800
Speaker 3: not going to subscribe to all the rules and regulations

270
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,520
Speaker 3: of my mom's religion, but I'm going to.

271
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:47,640
Speaker 2: A la carte. Yeah, and that by the way, And

272
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:48,320
Speaker 2: that's what I did.

273
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,880
Speaker 3: I'm like, Okay, I like what the Jews are doing here,

274
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,680
Speaker 3: like what the Christians are doing their Buddhas stuff like that.

275
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:59,280
Speaker 2: That's cool. Like I just started pulling from like what

276
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,680
Speaker 2: made s for me?

277
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:06,200
Speaker 3: And I did? I just started talking and I did

278
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,960
Speaker 3: not know how to prayer. I was just kind of like,

279
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,800
Speaker 3: what am I supposed to do? And where am I

280
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,960
Speaker 3: supposed to do it? And who am I supposed to?

281
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,600
Speaker 1: Like? What am I looking?

282
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,240
Speaker 2: You know, It's like Brendan Brown, the where would you

283
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,160
Speaker 2: have me go? What would you have me do? What

284
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,560
Speaker 2: would you have me saying? To whom? Right? It was

285
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,080
Speaker 2: the rawest like surrender prayer.

286
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,800
Speaker 3: And two weeks of that practice, I woke up before

287
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,400
Speaker 3: my alarm clock and it was I'm not lying to.

288
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,320
Speaker 2: You, Ashley. It was as clear as day.

289
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:40,080
Speaker 3: It was this trailer version that I'll never forget of

290
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:45,359
Speaker 3: me in Los Angeles acting, and I remember I woke up.

291
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:51,040
Speaker 2: And I was like, what is That's dumb? This weird

292
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,960
Speaker 2: thing sucked? Well, that took it real left turn, come.

293
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,720
Speaker 3: On, no, I and I woke up and I like

294
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,840
Speaker 3: opened my eyes and I tried to hold on to

295
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,160
Speaker 3: every little snippet that I can remember, which is why

296
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,680
Speaker 3: it looks like a trailer because I just kind of

297
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,840
Speaker 3: remember grabbing things that I could remember, and.

298
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:11,600
Speaker 2: I sat with it.

299
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,000
Speaker 3: Until my discomfort just made me laugh, and I was

300
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:19,360
Speaker 3: just like no. And then once your discomfort makes you

301
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,480
Speaker 3: laugh right laugh in my pain, next thing, you know,

302
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:25,440
Speaker 3: here comes the ego. Yep, and the egos like, no,

303
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,320
Speaker 3: you're about to be twenty eight this year, like the

304
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:33,760
Speaker 3: economy just crashed a year ago, honey, Like CEOs are

305
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,400
Speaker 3: second nick to keep big jobs.

306
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:36,840
Speaker 2: Like what are you doing?

307
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,120
Speaker 3: You're about to just like leave corporate to go play

308
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:44,240
Speaker 3: make believe. And I hated LA at this time, like

309
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:47,680
Speaker 3: I was a concrete like jungle girl, I'm not going

310
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:51,480
Speaker 3: to Los Angeles, like my ego came up with all

311
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:55,080
Speaker 3: of the reasons why it would not work, and then

312
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,720
Speaker 3: I was flooded. It was just like everywhere I went,

313
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,560
Speaker 3: either somebody was like, oh my god, you're so funny.

314
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,200
Speaker 3: Have you ever thought about being an actor? Or like

315
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 3: I'd be on like the advertisements of Los Angeles or

316
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,360
Speaker 3: California would be on my bus or on my subway.

317
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,280
Speaker 2: And then eventually.

318
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:14,119
Speaker 3: My my corporate, my corporate bestie, she popped up like

319
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,720
Speaker 3: over the cubicle and was just like, Oh my god,

320
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,399
Speaker 3: don't hate me, but I have something I tell here.

321
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:17,680
Speaker 1: I was like what.

322
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,320
Speaker 2: She was like, I'm moving to LA and I was like,

323
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:21,760
Speaker 2: the signs were.

324
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 3: There and this is all within like two months from

325
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 3: the dream. So from that having that dream to two

326
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,200
Speaker 3: months later, I said to her, I was like, Kristin,

327
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:31,000
Speaker 3: do me a favor.

328
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,520
Speaker 2: Look for a two bedroom apartment. I'm going with you.

329
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:37,879
Speaker 2: And she was just like, huh what, Like I was

330
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,000
Speaker 2: just sharing. I was like, I will explain it in

331
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:41,360
Speaker 2: the car.

332
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,720
Speaker 3: I love it, and I did. I packed up and

333
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,600
Speaker 3: I left and I went to La. Kristin gets the

334
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,879
Speaker 3: apartment for us, and I land there at night. I

335
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,560
Speaker 3: wake up in the morning and I realized, oh my gosh,

336
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,400
Speaker 3: I'm on Radford and I am across the street from

337
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:03,679
Speaker 3: CBS studios and there's New York cabs, New York police cars.

338
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,280
Speaker 2: For a second, I was like, did I leave?

339
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:10,000
Speaker 3: But it was like I was like, oh my goodness,

340
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,680
Speaker 3: I've never seen a studio lot before in my life,

341
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 3: and so I could see just a little bit over

342
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,560
Speaker 3: the wall and all this action going on. And that

343
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,359
Speaker 3: was the first time I built a vision board and

344
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,879
Speaker 3: it was CBS lead. I've always wanted to be on

345
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,400
Speaker 3: a procedural drama like I was a Law and Order,

346
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 3: Gray's Anatomy Girls.

347
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I.

348
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:33,920
Speaker 3: Was just like procedural drama, CBS like, this is it.

349
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 2: This is the vision. Stay tuned.

350
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,439
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after this.

351
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 2: When it's time to be specific.

352
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:58,080
Speaker 3: That was the hardest part for me because next thing,

353
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 3: you know, I'm like, I want to be a lead.

354
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:04,680
Speaker 2: I want to.

355
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 3: Find that partner that my mom always encouraged me to

356
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,959
Speaker 3: be with who also respects and loves what I do

357
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:18,359
Speaker 3: for a living. Now I want this amount of money

358
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 3: annually and then you're deserving feelings kicking. And when I

359
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,440
Speaker 3: looked at it, I was like, at first, you're like amp,

360
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:28,199
Speaker 3: and you like got it.

361
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 2: I know my vision, I know where I'm going.

362
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,360
Speaker 3: I know what I want, and then you lay down

363
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:37,040
Speaker 3: and that little voice comes in and it's like, girl,

364
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 3: you ain't even got an agent, you don't even have credits.

365
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,760
Speaker 1: Got inner self talk, Man, it is alright.

366
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:51,440
Speaker 2: And I was just like, oh, here, this is where

367
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 2: the work begins.

368
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 3: And as an artist, as a human being with a

369
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,200
Speaker 3: goal and a dream and a vision, you will always

370
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:06,400
Speaker 3: be confronted by your deserving feelings of set gold dream.

371
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,520
Speaker 3: And I think at that time, especially being in Los

372
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:16,199
Speaker 3: Angeles where it's very centered around health and wellness, I mean,

373
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,920
Speaker 3: you could rob a chick with a loaf of bread

374
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 3: like lively, no, stop and take whatever you want, like

375
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 3: just please let me go right Like.

376
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:25,920
Speaker 2: It's just.

377
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,879
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I shouldn't talk best about la right now.

378
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 2: But anyway, I know you know what I'm saying. Right Like,

379
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, I have to sit with this.

380
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,919
Speaker 3: I have to have the emotional maturity to sit in

381
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 3: the discomfort of this conversation with myself. And what did

382
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:57,159
Speaker 3: not work for me is calling that voice negative. I

383
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:02,399
Speaker 3: also didn't agree with toxic positivity either. For me, that

384
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 3: voice was became my to do list. And so when

385
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 3: I would stare at that vision, and it would pop

386
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,440
Speaker 3: up like you don't even have an agent.

387
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,239
Speaker 2: I'd be like, all right, why should we go get

388
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 2: an agent?

389
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,200
Speaker 3: Then? Or I get it and then I come back,

390
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,880
Speaker 3: you don't even have a real fine, I'll go pay

391
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 3: somebody to make one.

392
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:23,760
Speaker 2: Right.

393
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 3: I started using that voice as like my to do list,

394
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 3: like what are the things that are coming up for

395
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 3: me that are telling me why I don't deserve this

396
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:40,160
Speaker 3: thing because I what hmm, oh you you uh, you.

397
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 2: Know you're not as fit as used to be. Okay,

398
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,919
Speaker 2: I'll go to the gym here, right. It was it

399
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,360
Speaker 2: became this conversation with myself where it's like, okay, let's

400
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,360
Speaker 2: put it on the table and let's decide what we're

401
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,880
Speaker 2: going to lean into or what is bullshit? And once

402
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 2: I became comfortable with that voice and not trying to

403
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 2: like push it away and shut it down, that's where

404
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 2: it no longer felt negative.

405
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 3: It's somehow came this drive. I started just putting myself

406
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 3: out there. And then by the time I looked at

407
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:15,120
Speaker 3: that board before before COVID hit, my deserving feelings were

408
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 3: completely aligned.

409
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:18,640
Speaker 2: I said, oh, I deserve this.

410
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 3: I went to an event, and at this event, I

411
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,679
Speaker 3: met somebody that I was a massive fan of, and

412
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 3: it was Sophia Bush.

413
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 2: I was like, and I fan her face like aggressively.

414
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 2: This is because I'm from Chicago.

415
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 3: Wild, I'm from Chicago, and I wanted her part that

416
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 3: she had on Chicago Bed.

417
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 2: I wanted that part.

418
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 3: I didn't want that experience once I later found out,

419
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 3: but I wanted that part. And when I saw her,

420
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 3: I lit up and I just went to tell her like, look,

421
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 3: I'm from Chicago and I want to let you know

422
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 3: you were authentic, like I believed everything and I know

423
00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:57,919
Speaker 3: you're not from the shot, but you killed it. And

424
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 3: she was so grateful and like in a appreciative and

425
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 3: kind Two weeks later, again, all I've done is just

426
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 3: like build up these credits. But I didn't have an

427
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 3: agent yet. Two weeks later, I see Good Sam pop

428
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 3: up and Sophia Bush as the lead, and I decided

429
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:24,399
Speaker 3: to message the creator, the showrunner, the writer, the creator

430
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 3: of the pilot, and I just asked her if she

431
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,879
Speaker 3: saw if there was anything in there for me, and

432
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 3: I ended up booking it after doing a chemistry read

433
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 3: with Sophia and I was like, do I tell her?

434
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I just want to let you know

435
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 3: that I was the girl that totally fangirls you to

436
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 3: your face two weeks ago and then she was like,

437
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 3: oh my god, it is you and I was like,

438
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:52,879
Speaker 3: so this is insane that we're having this moment. But

439
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 3: if I didn't sit with that voice, I would not

440
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:01,399
Speaker 3: have been in that room to then get the next

441
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 3: and those and two of those producers. One of those

442
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 3: producers is the writer creator of Mattlock.

443
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, So I brought you through this whole

444
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 4: story which is much longer, but that was the girl

445
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 4: who then became the teenager, who then became the young

446
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 4: adult who tried to do check all the things off

447
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 4: the list, and then I had to throw that list

448
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 4: away because I had this vision.

449
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 3: I had this dream because I asked, and then I

450
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:41,400
Speaker 3: had to really sit with myself.

451
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 2: Now, the hard part.

452
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 3: For me, as far as accomplishing any of these goals

453
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 3: has been too emotionally for you for yourself of that

454
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:03,439
Speaker 3: past and I I have not done that yet, but

455
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 3: I use my work to do it.

456
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 2: I love infractions.

457
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:10,199
Speaker 1: I love that, and with that, I think this is

458
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 1: important because this is what you're getting at. This podcast

459
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 1: is about being wide open This podcast is about sharing

460
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 1: your scars. This podcast is about the resilience we as

461
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 1: humans in terms of our journey go through that make

462
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: us or break us.

463
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 2: With that.

464
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: Story of which you said so beautifully, I ask every

465
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 1: person on this podcast, there is a moment in your

466
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 1: life that breaks you wide open? With that beautiful story

467
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 1: you just shared, what was that defining moment in your

468
00:25:55,200 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: life that changed everything. It's heavy hard to pick one, no,

469
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 1: I know, but we all have that one moment that

470
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: we can still feel, see, touch, smell.

471
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:22,719
Speaker 3: Interesting enough, that moment did not happen until August of

472
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 3: twenty twenty four. Wow, tell me so, I'm still very

473
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 3: much in it. This fuck twenty Yeah, twenty twenty four

474
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 3: it really fucked me up. Yeah, because it had been

475
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 3: a year of unprecedent events, just every single month happening

476
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 3: to me.

477
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 2: At the same time that I was.

478
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:19,880
Speaker 3: Living out this all of my wildest dreams, Mattlocke, getting married,

479
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 3: and buying my mother a house, all of those things

480
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 3: happen in twenty twenty four.

481
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:33,360
Speaker 2: But at the same time I had my first experience.

482
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 3: Of of like someone trying to.

483
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:43,200
Speaker 2: Attack me.

484
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 3: While I was at a spa, Like I'm laying down

485
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 3: totally zend out, thinking that this is a place to

486
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 3: surrender and relax, to have to like switch into gears

487
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 3: that had never happened to me before in my life.

488
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 3: I lost two dogs, three friends, and then in August,

489
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 3: while I was at work, I had been compartmentalizing all

490
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:31,919
Speaker 3: of this because my job cannot stop for my personal life.

491
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 2: The show must go on. And I had worked so hard.

492
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 3: For this, and while the show was being so accommodating,

493
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 3: like letting me fly out and fly to go to

494
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 3: a funeral and come back in and go right back

495
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 3: to work, there were no days off.

496
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 2: But then.

497
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 3: One of my girlfriends, who was at my wedding and

498
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 3: she hosted my bridle shower in June, died in July

499
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 3: and she was forty nine. Chance, who was twenty seven,

500
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 3: died on a motorcycle. And then in August, my brother

501
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: I was told had brain cancer and that was it.

502
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 3: And while I was filming, they were like, Sky, we

503
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 3: need you to you know, and you have to turn

504
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 3: your phone off, and which felt like I was turning

505
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 3: off like my family because they needed me, because I'm

506
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 3: very much like the one to kind of help if

507
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 3: you will from afar and I was walking to set,

508
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 3: and immediately I had like that Charlie Brown syndrome. It

509
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 3: was just like, wah wah wah, wah wah wah, they're

510
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 3: all talking to me. I am like, and I said,

511
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 3: I said it to myself, like this is where I break.

512
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 3: Like I've had it together for so long, probably since

513
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 3: I was twelve, Like I had it together for so long.

514
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 3: And while all of these events were happening during twenty

515
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 3: twenty four, I kept asking, what is this meant to

516
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 3: teach me?

517
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 2: Like, what is this meant to teach me? Because I'm

518
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 2: feeling really.

519
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 3: Guilty about celebrating, but then I also feel ungrateful for

520
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 3: grieving while I'm doing all of these amazing events.

521
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 2: And I was just stuck.

522
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 3: That I felt myself really for the first time, be

523
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 3: inauthentic and it felt so gross.

524
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 2: I was coming to work.

525
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 3: I was doing this like while crying during my bathroom breaks, you.

526
00:30:55,600 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: Know, or it's the silent struggle, Oh my god.

527
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 2: That people don't.

528
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 1: Don't know what what you're going through. When the cameras

529
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 1: are off, when everyone goes home, you have no idea

530
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: what someone is experiencing, no at all any given moment.

531
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 3: And yeah, that day when like I just couldn't hear

532
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 3: anyone talking to me. I just collapsed in front of

533
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 3: my whole crew and they had never seen me. No

534
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 3: one had ever seen like that. And yeah, I just

535
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 3: I just dropped and I had no words. And this

536
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 3: amazing director, Hannally, she came and she scooped me up

537
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 3: off the ground and like rushed me away from the

538
00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 3: whole crew because it's just all glass. And she just

539
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 3: kept saying to me, take what you need, like, take

540
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 3: what you need. And I looked at her and I

541
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 3: was like, I can't take what I need. Yeah, I

542
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 3: need a week off. You think I can get that? No, No,

543
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 3: I cannot take what I need. And so, yes, from

544
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 3: the outside it looks really glamorous, yes, like we're getting

545
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 3: incredible ratings and the show is an absolute hit, but

546
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 3: what you see behind my character when the nomination came in,

547
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 3: it was like I had to show it. You know,

548
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 3: I have to sometimes therapeutically heal myself through the characters

549
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 3: that I'm playing, just so I can get it out.

550
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 2: Because otherwise it just feels like you're choking.

551
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 1: Tell me more about that, because I did I know

552
00:32:55,040 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 1: that you had that moment in this series where your

553
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 1: real and raw emotion came through. And I think it's

554
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,719
Speaker 1: important for people to know that and see that and

555
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:11,719
Speaker 1: normalize the pain in which we suffer alone and behind

556
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: closed doors. And you know, even as someone like me,

557
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 1: you're my friend and I love you dearly, and I'm

558
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,719
Speaker 1: connecting with you any way I can. I don't know

559
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 1: your struggles and your bravery to share it and normalize

560
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 1: it is really important because it's helpful for all of

561
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 1: us to understand that we can only carry so much

562
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 1: pain for so long. And I think it's really interesting

563
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: how we find outlets to heal ourselves through our creative work.

564
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and.

565
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 1: You did that on this series, and I loved you

566
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: spoke to me about a few moments that you had

567
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 1: with Kathy, you know, when the show launched and you

568
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 1: both are sitting in Times Square and you're literally holding

569
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 1: each other sobbing or you're putting yourself. You know, in

570
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 1: this character that you say, there was a moment where

571
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 1: a mother lost a child, and the real you came

572
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: out in that character, and the real you was healed

573
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 1: in that moment through the lens of who you're portraying.

574
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 3: Absolutely, because the brain doesn't know that you're playing make

575
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 3: believe doesn't know. And so if you're talking to me

576
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 3: and I decide to like actively listen, the brain will

577
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 3: naturally start bringing up imagery of things that you may

578
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 3: have in connection to what they're sharing, and then next thing,

579
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,280
Speaker 3: you know, you decide do I want.

580
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 2: To let this out.

581
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 3: In? There is no acting with Kathy Bays. No, there

582
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:09,319
Speaker 3: is no acting with Kathy Bays. She's so raw and

583
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 3: real and grounded that even when I know what Kathy

584
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,360
Speaker 3: the human being is going through, even when she's talking

585
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 3: to me through the dialogue of Mattie Mattlock, I know,

586
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 3: I know we're still human beings behind these characters.

587
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 2: And the same for me.

588
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:42,280
Speaker 3: You know, as our relationships as our relationship on Mattlock,

589
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 3: as our characters are growing, so was the relationship between

590
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 3: Kathy bas and myself was also growing. And so a

591
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,839
Speaker 3: lot of those moments were very real and she knew

592
00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:01,879
Speaker 3: what I was going through as well. Yeah, which the

593
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 3: second half of the season is where that's where I start.

594
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 3: I stop as Sky Marshall like kind of getting a

595
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 3: grip on my personal emotions that I was experiencing to

596
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 3: where it does really start coming outum more in the character.

597
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 3: And so yeah, when people are like, oh my god,

598
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 3: that person's performance, like when I see my peers getting

599
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,319
Speaker 3: awards and things, or if I'm watching a show and

600
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, they meant that, like, oh, that's a

601
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,839
Speaker 3: real moment that happened to be captured on camera, and

602
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 3: the dialogue supports that moment that happens a lot between

603
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 3: Kathy and I.

604
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 2: But that question, no one's ever asked me that question

605
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 2: where if there was a breaking point, and that twenty

606
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 2: twenty four, it was just this what is this trying

607
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 2: to teach me? And that was me.

608
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm the teacher's pet, Like god, I'm your favorite,

609
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 3: Like what are you teaching me?

610
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 1: Here?

611
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:10,440
Speaker 3: I'll learn right, I can figure this one out, like

612
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 3: I got it.

613
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 2: Let me ask the.

614
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 3: Angel cards, let me dependulum, like I was always going

615
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 3: to get to the answer, and instead of like getting

616
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,359
Speaker 3: an answer, I was just getting more grief on top

617
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 3: of grief on top of grief to where I was

618
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 3: just like I was like, oh, am I to be

619
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:30,719
Speaker 3: knocked to my knees because here we go. And that

620
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 3: was the first time I was literally brought to my

621
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 3: knees and I had to surrender, and I am still

622
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 3: I'm still processing what is it meant to teach me?

623
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 2: I'm still I'm still figuring that all out.

624
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 1: This is wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris.

625
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:54,359
Speaker 2: We'll be right back.

626
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 1: Do you think that that pain that you were carrying,

627
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:15,840
Speaker 1: that breaking point you spoke about, which thank you for sharing,

628
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 1: and that there's power in that did that role, you know,

629
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:27,879
Speaker 1: playing the character Olympia. Do you think the pain that

630
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 1: you were experiencing during that time, which could have broke

631
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:35,959
Speaker 1: you and made you worse in terms of your performance, right,

632
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:40,359
Speaker 1: but the resilience that you have had to learn since

633
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 1: a twelve year old little girl made you that great

634
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 1: for this show.

635
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,240
Speaker 2: That's an extraordinary question.

636
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 3: And yes, I ah, strangely enough, yeah, I think I

637
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 3: needed Kathy Bates, But honestly I definitely did. Yeah, because

638
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:11,319
Speaker 3: she absolutely is. She has this incredible way to be

639
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 3: your friend, your teacher, your mother, a student.

640
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 2: You know, she's.

641
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 3: She's like no one I've ever met before. But she

642
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 3: did give me, she did give me that that daily

643
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 3: motherly embrace. And while I am living out my wildest

644
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 3: dreams with my mom having like dementia, she doesn't she

645
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 3: she doesn't know that's me. When I turned on that.

646
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 2: Look, she's she still has the light inside of her.

647
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:12,399
Speaker 3: And my mom was the woman who would put red

648
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 3: towels out on the floor. She never missed an award show,

649
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 3: never that she would invite people over. And this was

650
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 3: while I was a kid, and you know, here I

651
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 3: was like, Mom, I'm nominated for a Critic's Choice award

652
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:32,799
Speaker 3: and She's just.

653
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:35,800
Speaker 2: Like, oh, that sounds fun, and I'm just like, oh.

654
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 3: My god, yeah, like this is unbelievable. Or the fact

655
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 3: that since twelve, my biggest goal was to buy my

656
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 3: mom a house, to put her back in a.

657
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 1: House for all the sacrifices, for.

658
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 3: Everything she's ever done for me, And it was not

659
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 3: her fault that she lost that house. It was my

660
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 3: job to put her back in a house. And the

661
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,839
Speaker 3: day I walked her in the house, it was just

662
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 3: like okay, you know, And so I had to let

663
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 3: go of this response that I had always waited for,

664
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:22,760
Speaker 3: that I had anticipated from a lot of the accomplishments

665
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:28,760
Speaker 3: that she and I worked so hard for me to fulfill.

666
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:32,760
Speaker 3: And you know, it kind of made me a little

667
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:34,440
Speaker 3: shut down to where I was like, do your job,

668
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 3: learn your lines. Do your job, do your job, and

669
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 3: learn your lines. Do your job, learn your lines. But

670
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 3: Kathy sees through all of that. And so Kathy would

671
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 3: just touch you and be like, how's your mom, And

672
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 3: I'm like, she's met my mom. She's had my mom

673
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 3: and her trailer. And when my mom saw her, she

674
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 3: was like I think she thought she was like, oh,

675
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 3: mate of hers or something like that, would come in

676
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 3: to school in the bars like she knew she like

677
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,760
Speaker 3: she was just like she was obsessed with Kathy. Yeah,

678
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 3: And so I was like, I please spark something here,

679
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 3: and she did. My mom was lit up and I

680
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 3: have a photo that like captured it all. But yeah,

681
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 3: Kathy gave me that mother energy of I'm proud of you,

682
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 3: great work. We would have like a killer scene and

683
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 3: she would just like grab my hand.

684
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:30,760
Speaker 2: It It filled a large fraction.

685
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 3: It can never feel the full, but it feeled a

686
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:34,600
Speaker 3: large fraction of that void.

687
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 1: And what I want to tell you as a friend

688
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: who adores and loves you dearly, even if your mom

689
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:51,800
Speaker 1: can't tell you the things she wants could or can't

690
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: let you know and the way you're used to that

691
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 1: she's so proud of you. She sees you, she knows,

692
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:02,359
Speaker 1: she is with you. She's with you every day on set.

693
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 1: She is proud of you. Everyone's proud of you. You're

694
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 1: getting me, amosh.

695
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 3: Because you're a mom and you know what it's like

696
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,800
Speaker 3: to sacrifice. You have sacrificed so much for your family.

697
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 2: Well, what I'll say is this the universe.

698
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:30,840
Speaker 1: What I've learned through the last year and a half

699
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: is the universe pushes people into our lives when we

700
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 1: need it the most. Mine was my magical Unicorn that

701
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 1: you absolutely know who is a dear Frontier who has

702
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 1: changed my life for the better. I'm glad you got

703
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 1: that gift because I do think when you needed it

704
00:43:55,480 --> 00:44:03,359
Speaker 1: the most, she was sent to you. And I hope

705
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 1: that heals you in some some small way through this

706
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 1: really hard season.

707
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 2: It does, she does, and she knows it, and you

708
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 2: know that's what.

709
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 3: That's what the experience was with she and I in

710
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 3: Times Square, Yeah, you know.

711
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:30,279
Speaker 2: Where I'm just.

712
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 3: Literally holding her and she's holding me and we're both crying.

713
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 3: It wasn't because of the Billboard. It was the fact

714
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 3: that Kathy too has had so many trials and tribulations

715
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 3: and wins in her life that never did she think

716
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 3: that she would be a poster girl at seventy six? Yeah,

717
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 3: you know, when when is the last time you've known

718
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 3: Kathy Bates to be number one on the call sheet

719
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 3: and the poster girl. Yeah, you know, since misery, and

720
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 3: so for her to have this massive accomplishment that she

721
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:18,799
Speaker 3: always wanted for herself and me seeing all of the

722
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 3: obstacle courses that she experienced while filming season one and

723
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:25,279
Speaker 3: all of the obstacles that I had that she saw

724
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 3: me experience during season one. She and I always had

725
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 3: each other and we always held each other up. We

726
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,759
Speaker 3: would take space away from everyone if we needed to.

727
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 3: We would over rehearse if we needed to, like lock in.

728
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:45,440
Speaker 3: And so in that moment in Times Square, it was

729
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 3: the fact that we had finished the first season.

730
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,799
Speaker 2: I had about two It just a grace stressed out.

731
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,879
Speaker 2: I was stress but it was like we did it. Yeah,

732
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 2: we did it. And you know.

733
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have that part if it wasn't for Kathy,

734
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,760
Speaker 3: because she is executive producer. But she was my final

735
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:09,280
Speaker 3: round of auditioning where I had to do a chemistry

736
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 3: read with her, and there were multiple other actresses in

737
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:14,799
Speaker 3: the waiting room that went in there before me and

738
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:19,360
Speaker 3: went in there after me. And as soon as I

739
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,040
Speaker 3: walked in the room and I saw her, I just said,

740
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 3: can I hug you?

741
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 2: And that is you? No, that is you a so.

742
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:31,840
Speaker 3: A like forbidden Oh I love move to make and

743
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,839
Speaker 3: a chemistry read with like an a lister or even

744
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 3: casting director. You're not supposed touch anybody. Yeah, And I

745
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 3: went in and I just said can I hug you?

746
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 3: Because I was like, in my mind, I'm like, if

747
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 3: she can feel me before she hears me, then she'll

748
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 3: feel that I've worked so hard to get to this

749
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 3: very moment. And by the time she and I were done,

750
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 3: I said to them, I said, look, I've already won.

751
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 2: I got to fly Delta one from New York to

752
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 2: Ada for fifteen minutes. I already have a bottle on

753
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 2: God Speak amongst the celle good luck. But I've already won.

754
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:08,839
Speaker 2: Like I literally said that to them.

755
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 3: I was just like, out of all the choices in

756
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:14,879
Speaker 3: my life, I got to fly to la to act

757
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 3: with Kathy.

758
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 2: Bays for fifteen minutes, like and I'm not stressing about this.

759
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 2: And I was told that.

760
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 3: When I left, she just turned around and was like

761
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 3: it's her right and I.

762
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:28,759
Speaker 2: Saw the sign in sheet.

763
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:33,920
Speaker 3: I was the only unknown actor, and so there is

764
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 3: so much more to being an artist.

765
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 2: There's so much more to being brave. But my goodness.

766
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 3: With growth comes the stage of being a cocoon. And

767
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 3: science has said that the caterpillar is in this cocoon

768
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 3: fighting for its life, like it feels like it's gonna

769
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 3: and it wants out of this and only until it

770
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:08,920
Speaker 3: is completely exhausted and it gives up all hope that

771
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 3: it just stops fighting only to become a butterfly surrender.

772
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 3: And so that's what twenty twenty four was for me.

773
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 3: I was in this caterpillar and while I knew that

774
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 3: it was half absolutely incredible. We have lives that are

775
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:35,360
Speaker 3: extremely challenging, and as you know, you have to sacrifice

776
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 3: so much. You miss out on baby showers, weddings, anniversaries, funerals,

777
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 3: the dinner parties. You miss out on the community and

778
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 3: they have to understand this part. And so going into

779
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 3: season two, I feel more of that butterfly effect. I

780
00:48:56,400 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 3: feel the butterfly now, and yes say that if it

781
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:04,400
Speaker 3: wasn't for not just Kathy, but the rest of my cast,

782
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 3: they were I called them my emotional support actors.

783
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 2: They carried me through all of those stages. And I have.

784
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:21,760
Speaker 3: Found ways to communicate with my friends that have died

785
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 3: just in my heart.

786
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you carry them with and I carry them with.

787
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 3: Me if I see a hummingbird or a butterfly or

788
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 3: you know, I kind of give them my dentities. And

789
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,280
Speaker 3: so processing loss.

790
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,319
Speaker 2: Was the big lesson for me.

791
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:47,800
Speaker 3: Being able to let things come and go as they please.

792
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 3: Stop being the controller who wants to, you know, like,

793
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 3: just let things come and go, allow the flow.

794
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,880
Speaker 1: That's important. That guy is so important because you ca

795
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 1: we can't control timing of grief.

796
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 2: Oh, you can't say it again.

797
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 1: You cannot control timing of grief. You have to surrender

798
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,960
Speaker 1: to the moment and let it flow out of you.

799
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:15,680
Speaker 2: And just be yes.

800
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 1: Because the more we pack that down, the more we disassociate,

801
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:27,799
Speaker 1: the more we pretend it's not a part of who

802
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,719
Speaker 1: we are and our movement and how we show up

803
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 1: in the world. We're not growing as humans, we're not

804
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:39,319
Speaker 1: sharing our scars, we're not being vulnerable. And that's what

805
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 1: makes life so fucking precious is our ability to connect,

806
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 1: our ability to show up for each other, our ability

807
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 1: to have grief together. But we have to be vulnerable

808
00:50:54,400 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: enough in moments where we can't control, and we embrace it.

809
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:06,879
Speaker 1: And I think your vulnerability to share I appreciate it.

810
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for our friendship. And

811
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:14,359
Speaker 1: what I love so much about what you say and

812
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 1: how you move is this notion of being enough. That

813
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 1: twelve year old who had to go through a very

814
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 1: very hard time and transition, you were always enough, And

815
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 1: in moments where it brings you to your knees, you

816
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 1: are humble enough to surrender, but you're strong enough to

817
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:46,840
Speaker 1: get back up. And that's the difference between allowing something

818
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 1: to consume you and break you or make you resilient

819
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 1: and roll your fucking sleeves up and say I was

820
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 1: meant for this life. Hell, and you were meant for

821
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:03,160
Speaker 1: this life. And I'm grateful to call you a friend.

822
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,839
Speaker 1: Thanks for coming on wide open, Thanks for sharing your

823
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:11,399
Speaker 1: scars and your story and your vulnerability. And a lot

824
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 1: of people will learn from this conversation and a lot

825
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 1: of people will feel safe knowing someone like you is

826
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 1: willing to share something so deep. So thank you, Thank

827
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 1: you for coming.

828
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 2: I love you, I love you.

829
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:33,880
Speaker 1: So what's what's next? Tell tell the listeners, tell the viewers.

830
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 1: What's next. We're filming season two?

831
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 3: Yes, we're not filming season two until probably I'm guessing June. Okay.

832
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 2: And so I decided that what's next for.

833
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 3: Me is me.

834
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:52,360
Speaker 2: I need to rest.

835
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:55,960
Speaker 3: I need to be with my friends and my husband.

836
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:58,160
Speaker 3: Like now that I know what that seven months of

837
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:02,320
Speaker 3: filming is, like, I just want to pour into everyone

838
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 3: that I love. I mean, hell, I came to your

839
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 3: birthday dinner and left my husband in the car.

840
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 2: I was that I was inside. You know, he had

841
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:14,240
Speaker 2: some scripts to read anywhere. I was like, read your scripts.

842
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:14,960
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go.

843
00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:18,439
Speaker 3: But I'm not missing Ashley's birthday dinner, right, And see,

844
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:21,320
Speaker 3: I am going out of my way to make sure

845
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 3: that I show up for my friends, my family, my husband, myself.

846
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:28,800
Speaker 2: I want to I want to find like a really

847
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 2: great retreat.

848
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 1: Let's go strip please, yes, planet, but like let's do it.

849
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:38,040
Speaker 3: But like a real, real, like raw wellness retreat of

850
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 3: just like facilitating tears and building growth and connection. Like

851
00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 3: I just want to go back to the woods, you.

852
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 2: Know what I mean, Like I just want to like

853
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 2: make up away hair or back. I just want to

854
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 2: go into the woods.

855
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 3: And just like be off the grid because I know

856
00:53:55,239 --> 00:54:01,160
Speaker 3: what's coming. But right now, you know, I'm just my

857
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 3: heart is just aching for la and I'm just gonna

858
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:08,160
Speaker 3: patiently wait to see what comes down the queue work wise,

859
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 3: but very patiently, because no one saw this coming. And

860
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:15,399
Speaker 3: with my industry, you know the world having to deal

861
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:17,719
Speaker 3: with COVID, but then my industry dealing with two strikes

862
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:23,040
Speaker 3: and now this wildfire. It's taken such a toll on

863
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:26,600
Speaker 3: so many people in my community and my industry that

864
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:29,520
Speaker 3: I am patient. I do not need to rush to

865
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:33,759
Speaker 3: somebody else's set to do anything. And also I go

866
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:37,279
Speaker 3: to Chicago one week every month to just sit on

867
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:38,080
Speaker 3: a couch with my mom.

868
00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:42,399
Speaker 2: I love and caregive for her. Put my scrubs back on. Yeah,

869
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 2: she's amazing. She's an edible arrangement.

870
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:48,600
Speaker 3: Well, she's really funny, Like even though she's so far

871
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:50,880
Speaker 3: in avnure, she's really fun She's like a really funny,

872
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:52,319
Speaker 3: like three four year old.

873
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:56,280
Speaker 2: But like we throw the ball, we be coloring.

874
00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, seriously, she's she's so picky about her food, you know,

875
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 3: but it's my mom, and the roles have reversed. But

876
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 3: I would not want anything to change in this state.

877
00:55:12,680 --> 00:55:16,719
Speaker 3: She's made it past eighty and I am happy to

878
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 3: be her caregiver right now. And so that's my priority

879
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 3: is family, friends, and myself.

880
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 1: Well I love that. And what I love about you

881
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 1: is you're always my first message about cleansing rooms. Oh yeah, salts,

882
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:37,640
Speaker 1: crystals and burning sage, like you are my soul sister

883
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:39,000
Speaker 1: that I will ever.

884
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:42,920
Speaker 2: I will always. Which what is it?

885
00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 1: The some date is coming up on my Yeah, are

886
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:52,240
Speaker 1: wet salt before? And you know, someone walks into our door.

887
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 1: I need to cleanse all the things. It's Sophia and

888
00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:59,919
Speaker 1: I we you know, I'm putting salt in every fluck

889
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 1: corner of our home and for the new year. And

890
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is what Sky would do. So we're here,

891
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:10,399
Speaker 1: we're we're spiritual people. Now we're throwing fucking soul all

892
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 1: over these.

893
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:12,799
Speaker 2: Health believe it is real.

894
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:14,759
Speaker 1: And now my kids are like, you know, Mama, what

895
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 1: is this. You're supposed to like leave it for fifteen days.

896
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:22,759
Speaker 1: I'm like, these kids are gonna eat every corner immediately.

897
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:25,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, the babies.

898
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 1: Well, I wish you have nothing spell but love and success.

899
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:33,279
Speaker 1: And I love that I get a front row seat.

900
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:36,560
Speaker 2: Thank you. Thanks for watching everyone else.

901
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:39,480
Speaker 1: Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for another beautiful

902
00:56:39,640 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 1: conversation with the one and only Sky Marshall. We'll see

903
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 1: you next time. Wide Open with Ashland Harris is an

904
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:53,880
Speaker 1: iHeart women's sports production. You can find us on the

905
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:58,399
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

906
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:04,640
Speaker 1: Our producers are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronoff, and Lucy Jones.

907
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:11,320
Speaker 1: Production assistants from Malia Aguidello. Our executive producers are Jesse Katz,

908
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:15,760
Speaker 1: Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. Our editors are Jenny Kaplan

909
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 1: and Emily Rudder and I'm your host Ashlyn Harris