1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:03,560 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:07,440 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please submit 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 1: your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com by clicking 4 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 1: Submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're gonna read this one 6 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:21,439 Speaker 1: right here, right now. You never know. It could be yours. Yeah, 7 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: could be Buckle up and hold on tight. We got 8 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter, subject they 9 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: want equal Treatment. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm in my late 10 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,160 Speaker 1: forties and my sister in law is my best friend. 11 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: My brother is cheating on her, and she found out 12 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 1: from their six year old son. I was keeping their son, 13 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,480 Speaker 1: and we went to visit my mother, his grandmother. Well, 14 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,600 Speaker 1: my stupid brother had his girlfriend over there, having a 15 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: fish fry in the backyard. My mother was in the 16 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: house mad as heck, but my dad was outside with 17 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: them because the woman has a really nice body. My 18 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: nephew didn't see the woman, but my mother was so 19 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: upset that she unleashed a ran and the boy heard 20 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: it from the other room. He could not wait to 21 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,919 Speaker 1: tell his mom, and she called me and lit into 22 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: me about it. I told her that I was clueless, 23 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: and she didn't believe me. My brother blames me for 24 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: bringing his son over to our parents home. My brother 25 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: ended up moving in with my parents temporarily and continued 26 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: to date this side chick even though he was trying 27 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: to work things out with his wife. I am stuck 28 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: in the middle because he has me counseling the side chick, 29 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 1: begging her to be patient while he figures out how 30 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: to leave his wife. He's not leaving his wife, and 31 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 1: I want to tell his side chick that, but that 32 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 1: would be even messier the side. The side chick wants 33 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 1: equal treatment as his wife. His wife wants it all. 34 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: If he wants to go back home, she wants a 35 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: new ring and a recommitment ceremony with a big, fancy honeymoon. 36 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: The side chick said, if she's going to stay with him, 37 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: she wants a commitment ring and a big vacation to 38 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 1: a romantic island to prove he's all hers. I told 39 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 1: him he's in way too deep and he needs to 40 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: get his affairs in order. I've been living with this 41 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 1: guilt for almost a year. My therapist said I should 42 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: come clean and be honest with both women. Should I 43 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: do this to my brother? Okay? No, no, don't do 44 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: this to your brother. Okay, but you gotta look at 45 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 1: what it's doing to you, and way more importantly, you 46 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,399 Speaker 1: can't do this to yourself. You just can't. You got 47 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,679 Speaker 1: to get out of the middle of this. This is 48 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: a mess, and this has nothing to do with you. 49 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 1: You're not cheating on anyone. You innocently took your nephew 50 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: to see his grandparents, and now you're getting it from 51 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 1: all sides. Your brother's mad at you, your best he's 52 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 1: mad at you, and the side chick even has something 53 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 1: to say, and she shouldn't have anything to say about 54 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 1: any of this. It's amazing to me, though, that a 55 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:55,080 Speaker 1: six year old, a six year old little boy couldn't 56 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 1: wait to tell his mom about the side chick. I mean, 57 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: he must be really advanced because when we were is 58 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: you know, we constantly heard the phrase stay out of 59 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 1: grown folks bis. But his mom probably put him up 60 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: to it. I don't know. Listen, you've got to start 61 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,359 Speaker 1: blaming yourself in all of this and stop letting your 62 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,359 Speaker 1: brother punk you and his side chick and his wife. 63 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 1: You're bestie, they're they're all using you. You got to 64 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:24,080 Speaker 1: stand up for yourself. Tell them all to kiss your behind. 65 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,799 Speaker 1: You can you had a choice, kiss your behind, tell 66 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,920 Speaker 1: them to work it out, and tell them to leave it, 67 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,079 Speaker 1: leave you out of it. You could tell you could 68 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,839 Speaker 1: tell them one of those or all of those. All 69 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 1: it is is misplaced anger on the wife's part and 70 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 1: trying to place blame on the brother's part, and trying 71 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: to get something out of it on the side chick's part. 72 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: I mean, your brother's manage you, yet he's the one cheating. 73 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: Your best friend is manage you, although it's her husband 74 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: that's a fault here. I mean, I think you should 75 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: get you some business immediately because clearly you have none 76 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: because you're in this. You got to stop feeling guilty 77 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: and thinking you cause this and get on with your life. 78 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 1: I mean, you've been going through this for a whole 79 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 1: year now, feeling guilty. You're the one that needs to 80 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: get away. They need to all pay for your trip, 81 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: not them. They don't need to go anywhere. And as 82 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 1: far as your therapist goes, fire him, which they're the 83 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 1: one that gave you this bad advice about coming clean. 84 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: Steve excellent response. I think what you said is spot on. 85 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: I agree one thousand percent with everything you said. I 86 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 1: can't really add nothing to this except a very unique 87 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 1: perspective because there's some lies being told an yet, and 88 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: that's where I come in. I love it. Now. This 89 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: woman that wrote the letters is writing because she's stuck 90 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: in the middle. Obviously, I'm in my late parties and 91 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaker 1: my sister in law is my best friend. Okay, there 92 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: you go. My brother's cheating on her, and she found 93 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: out from their six year old son. So the aunt 94 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: was keeping her nephew, which is a six year old, 95 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: went by to visit her mother with her nephew, which 96 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:22,679 Speaker 1: is the mother's grandson. Your dumbass brother had his girlfriend 97 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:27,919 Speaker 1: over his mom and daddy house, having a fish fry 98 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:33,280 Speaker 1: in the backyard. My mother was in the house mad 99 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: as heck, as most women would be, but my dad 100 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: was outside with him because the woman had a really 101 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 1: nice body. I don't know if that's the reason. I 102 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 1: think the daddy was out there because well her, the 103 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: daddy was just being the daddy. See the problem in 104 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: this letter is now you say your nephew didn't see 105 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: the woman, but your mother was upset and was renting 106 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,279 Speaker 1: and the boy overheard in the other room and he 107 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 1: couldn't wait to go tell his mom. And she called 108 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 1: me and lit into you about it, and I told 109 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:12,919 Speaker 1: her you was clueless, and she didn't believe me. Well, 110 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: why would you take the boy, the nephew over to 111 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: your mother's house if you knew your brother was over 112 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 1: there with another woman. There's no way you would have 113 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 1: done that because you're a nice aunt. You wouldn't have 114 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,480 Speaker 1: done that to the boy. But your dumb asked brother 115 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 1: over there. You know what the problem with what your 116 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: brother is. He got too much support for his bs. 117 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: That's what's wrong. And when we come back, I'll explain it. 118 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: All right, we'll have part two of Steve's response coming 119 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:45,359 Speaker 1: up with twenty three minutes after the hour. Thank you, Steve. 120 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:50,159 Speaker 1: Subject of today's Strawberry Letter, they want equal Treatment. We'll 121 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening show, 122 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 1: all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letter 123 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:04,279 Speaker 1: and finish up with your response. Subjects they want equal treatment? Yeah, 124 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 1: you know, this is kind of crazy. This woman got 125 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,239 Speaker 1: a brother that's cheating and she was keeping the brother's 126 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: of son, who is her nephew. Her best friend is 127 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: her brother's wife, which is her sister in law. She 128 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 1: go over to the house. Her brother got a chick 129 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: over there, having a fish fry in a mom and 130 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 1: daddy backyard. That's ignorant to begin with. Now a mama 131 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,240 Speaker 1: in the house mad as heck. But you say your 132 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 1: daddy was outside with him because the woman got a 133 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: really nice body. My nephew didn't see the woman, but 134 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 1: your mama was so upset she unleased the ranch. The 135 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: little boy heard it. He couldn't wait to go back 136 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: home and tell his mama. Your girlfriend, who is your 137 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 1: best friend, the sister in law to your brother's brother's wife, 138 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 1: who is your sister law, and your best friend lit 139 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 1: into you because she thought you was in on it. 140 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: You told her you was clueless, and she didn't believe me. 141 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 1: I said before, why would you take the boy over 142 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 1: to the house and expose your nephew to some guard 143 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 1: But you had no idea he was over here, and 144 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: you didn't take the boy in the backyard. He just 145 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: over heard the grandmother talking. So now what didn't happen? 146 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 1: Because it is your brother that ended up moving in 147 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: with your parents because he didn't got put out, and 148 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: he's continued to date the side chick with the banging body, 149 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: even though he trying to work things out with his wife. 150 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 1: Now you say you're stuck in the middle because he 151 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 1: got you counseling the side chick, begging her to be 152 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 1: patient while he figured out how to leave his wife. 153 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: Then you say he ain't leaving his wife, and I 154 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: want to tell the side chick that, but that would 155 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 1: be even message. Your brother is the one that's had 156 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 1: fault in this whole thing, first of all, cheating on 157 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: his wife. Second of all, he took the side check 158 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 1: to his parents aren's house, having a fish fry in 159 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: the backyard. Did daddy out there supporting the son, And 160 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:11,560 Speaker 1: now he got you counseling the side chick. The best 161 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: way to do people who bring bs to you is 162 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 1: let them lay in. They b s. Get out of 163 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: the support system business. You ain't don't ever help nobody 164 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: do wrong unless you're a man. Unless you're a man, 165 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 1: and this is your boy, it is our obligation to 166 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: help you. Whatever man different rules. If because I got 167 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 1: do for you, okay, now here with okay, hold on, now, 168 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:47,320 Speaker 1: let me help you understand this. If your girl gets 169 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:53,000 Speaker 1: in trouble, you're gonna help her because that's your colonel. Now, 170 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 1: y'all don't ever talk about that side of it, But 171 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 1: y'all comes to each other's rescue because I've heard it. 172 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,920 Speaker 1: Whatever I have to do with the ladder, nothing, it's 173 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,000 Speaker 1: just don't get mad at me when I tell you that. 174 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 1: The only way you're supposed to get involved in this, 175 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 1: if y'all was boys, you should stay out of this 176 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,959 Speaker 1: because your best friend is your sister in law. So 177 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 1: you definitely shouldn't be counseling the side and chick because 178 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 1: your brother got everybody involved in his BS. Now the 179 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:30,840 Speaker 1: side chick wants equal treatment as the wife. Now, listen 180 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: to this. His wife want it all. If he wants 181 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 1: to go back home. She want a new ring and 182 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 1: a recommitment ceremony and a big fancy honeymoon. That ain't 183 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 1: just to show commitment. She just really wants some stuff. 184 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: She just wants some stuff, really, because you're gonna take 185 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: a man back, and no, this is some things. You're 186 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 1: considering taking him back because you want him back, but 187 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 1: you want some things with it. Recommitment, bigger ring, fancy honeymoon. Yeah, 188 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 1: but now here The problem is the side chick said. 189 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,079 Speaker 1: If she gonna stay with him, she want a commitment 190 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:20,319 Speaker 1: ring a big vacation to a romantic alive to prove 191 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 1: that he's all hers. I told him he in way 192 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 1: too deep and to get his and fans in order. 193 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 1: Let me explain to you what's wrong here. Your brother 194 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 1: is telling both women the same thing. That's what's wrong 195 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 1: because if he was telling them the truth, both of 196 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: them would might not be demanding the same thing. But 197 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: he's telling both of them, I want to be with you. 198 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 1: Give me a minute to work this out. Getting the 199 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 1: divorce is difficult. Give me a minute. I'm working this out. 200 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,959 Speaker 1: I gotta get this chick out of my life. She 201 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:05,959 Speaker 1: tripping this what a nothing. This wasn't even about her, right, baby? 202 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: I want you because here what Brook can't do. He 203 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,960 Speaker 1: don't have the money for an apartment. That's why he'd 204 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 1: have had to move back in with his mom and daddy. 205 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,559 Speaker 1: Ain't no where in the hell. He got two rains, 206 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 1: and he damned him. He can't go on two vacations 207 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: amoon and a romantic getaway. So as soon as y'all 208 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 1: quit supporting this bes, it's gonna all come to a head. Now, 209 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: you say you've been living with this guilt for almost 210 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,200 Speaker 1: a year. That's because he got too much help. Your 211 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 1: therapist says I should come clean and be honest with 212 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:44,000 Speaker 1: both women. Your therapist is a woman. Would never say that. 213 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,840 Speaker 1: Ain't no way. The only way a man would say 214 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 1: that if he wanted to sleep with you. Your therapist 215 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 1: is a woman. Yeah, and this ain't the time for that, 216 00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 1: all right. Steve hit us up on Instagram. I'm at 217 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM Strawberry Letter. You can also check out 218 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,559 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming up next in 219 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 1: a Sports Junior. Right after this, you're listening to the 220 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 1: Stave Harvey Morning Show