WEBVTT - 10 Lessons I have Learned from the Last 300 Episodes of On Purpose 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:02.000 How many times have you ever judged someone from afar, 0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:05.720 then you get closer, and then you actually become friends 0:00:05.720 --> 0:00:09.239 with them when you'd actually previously judge them negatively, So 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:12.320 you went from judging someone negatively from afar to loving 0:00:12.320 --> 0:00:21.800 them from a close. Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, 0:00:21.840 --> 0:00:24.720 to number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:27.160 each and every single one of you that come back 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:32.040 every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now today is 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:37.559 an extra extra special episode. It really really is because 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:44.080 this is episode number three hundred and one. Now episode 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:47.640 three hundred and one of the Ombourbosed podcast makes me 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:52.400 feel like it deserves a celebration. We've had hundreds of 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:56.040 millions of downloads, we've had tens of millions of views, 0:00:56.440 --> 0:01:00.400 and more importantly, with the three hundred episodes we've had 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:03.840 with over one hundred and fifty guests one hundred and 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:07.560 fifty solo episodes, I just want to thank you all 0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:12.880 for the incredible support, the incredible love, the incredible energy 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:15.360 that you've brought to On Purpose. I know that you're 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:18.760 telling your friends every single day, every single week, every 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:22.440 single month, every single year about On Purpose. I know 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:25.200 that you're showing up again and again and again. I 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:29.200 love seeing your Spotify wrapped end of year lists where 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:32.080 you were sharing how many minutes you've listened to on Purpose, 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:35.440 and I keep seeing it grow on all platforms. So 0:01:35.480 --> 0:01:39.039 whether you're listening on Apple or Spotify, I see the 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:42.720 reviews continuing to flood in. I just want to thank 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:45.840 you for your support and your love and your kindness 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:50.400 and your dedication to listen, to learn and to grow 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:54.360 and to do that with me here on Purpose. I 0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:56.640 promise you that this time that you spend with me 0:01:56.760 --> 0:02:03.200 is never wasted. It's fully, fully invested into your future 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:06.640 and yourself, and I'm just so happy that we get 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:09.360 to be here together every single week while you eat, 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:12.040 while you cook, while you walk your dog, while you're 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:14.560 at the gym, while you're driving, whatever you're up to 0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:18.200 right now. Thank you for being an on Purpose listener. 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:21.960 Today's episode is all about the ten lessons I've learned 0:02:22.800 --> 0:02:27.079 over the last three hundred episodes of On Purpose. I'm 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:30.160 going to be referencing some old episodes, talking about some 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:32.360 guests that we've had, and I hope that you're going 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:34.120 to go back and listen to the ones that you 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:38.320 missed or maybe haven't heard yet, and I can't wait 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:41.800 to dive in. So if you're ready, I'm ready. Let's 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:44.560 do it. And if you feel like it, grab a 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:48.400 screenshot right now and wish us a happy three hundred 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:53.840 episode birthday on Instagram, Twitter, wherever you're listening, wherever you share. 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:57.040 So the first lesson I want to share with you 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:01.880 is you have to be patient for the big things, 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:08.239 impatient for the small things. Be patient about the big things, 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:12.160 and to be impatient about the small things. We've had 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:16.239 so many incredible guests on the show that represent patience. 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:20.600 People who've waited years for their big break, people who've 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:25.400 waited decades to be heard and to be seen to 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:29.800 make a breakthrough. I remember the episode with Chrissy Metz 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:33.840 and her talking about her journey of being so broke 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:38.760 and still finding a way. There was patience for the 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:41.920 big break or the big role, but there was impatience 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:45.000 around what can I do right now to solve this problem. 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.160 When you look at Mark Randolph, one of the co 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:53.040 founders of Netflix, he had patience. They knew that Netflix, 0:03:53.080 --> 0:03:56.760 with where they started it as a mail delivery service 0:03:56.920 --> 0:04:01.400 of movies, would evolve. They were patient about its growth, 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:06.880 but they were impatient about learning, about growing, about figuring 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:11.640 out what they wanted to do next. This balance of 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:16.280 patience and impatience has been huge in my own life. 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:21.400 I'm patient for things that feel like a true achievement. 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:26.960 I'm patient about things that are the result, but I'm 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:31.320 impatient about what I can control now. So I'm patient 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:35.360 for the big winds, the big results, the big landmarks, 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:39.960 the big milestones. I can be patient about those, but 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:42.800 I'm impatient about what can I do right now, What's 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:45.320 the action I can take that actually gets me closer 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:50.159 to that. So in the last twelve months, I feel 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:54.800 that the things that I've been most impatient about is 0:04:55.760 --> 0:05:00.200 starting something. I was impatient about starting Psalmote, we the 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:04.400 tea company. I was impatient about working on my new book, 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.920 which actually requires a lot of patients and which was 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:11.320 a lot of fun. I was impatient about some of 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:12.919 the content I want to create and some of the 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:15.039 new things I wanted to try on YouTube, where I 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:17.640 know so many of you watch our videos and connect 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:19.800 with us. But I'm patient. You know, last year we 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:23.080 won a lot of awards. We won a lot of 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:25.640 book awards. To Think like a Monk, we won a 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:29.760 lot of Webby Awards, But this year was a year 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:34.200 where I was planting those seeds again. So sometimes what 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:37.400 we get impatient about is we get impatient about the 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:40.680 result and we get patient about what we can do. 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:42.719 And it needs to be the other way around. We 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:45.839 need to be impatient about what we can do and 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:51.159 patient for the result. That's how patience and impatience can 0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:55.599 actually work together. So remember to be patient for the 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:59.159 big things, impatient for the small things. Ask yourself right now, 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:01.200 what is it that you can do today that is 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:03.719 going to shift or make a difference in your life? 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:06.960 Do that today? Do not be patient for that now. 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:11.200 The second biggest lesson that I've learned in the last 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:14.360 twelve months and from three hundred episodes on the podcast 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:18.880 is that nothing is as scary as you think. It's 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:24.400 worse in your imagination. Now, this to me reminds me 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:29.719 of the first ever On Purpose episode that I recorded, 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:32.240 not the first one that was released, the first one 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:36.080 that was recorded, because often we will record and release 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:40.000 in a different order. And so the first podcast we 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:43.680 ever recorded was with Kenneth Cole, and I remember it 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:48.720 was a dark, gray afternoon in la which is surprising, 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:52.040 and he came to my apartment where we used to record, 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:56.800 and I was so nervous about the questions about the flow. 0:06:57.040 --> 0:07:00.240 The journey of the interview we had at the US 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:02.760 wasn't even out yet. You didn't even know that it existed. 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:08.279 And nothing, I truly mean, nothing is as scary as 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:12.000 you think. It's worse than your imagination. Seneca said that 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:15.000 we suffer twice, once in reality and once in imagination. 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:18.840 I actually think that the suffering in our imagination is 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:22.880 more painful. The way you think something is going to 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:27.200 be in your mind is way scarier than it can 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:30.040 be in real life. Why are we scared of going 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:35.840 to the dark area or dark room because of the unknown, 0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:41.200 and in our mind we fill that room with so 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:45.200 much scary stuff. But then when you go there and 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:48.280 you open the door, there's nothing in there, right, There's 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:51.240 nothing under the bed. One thing we've realized is that 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:54.800 the stories we tell ourselves are full of fear. The 0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:58.720 stories we tell ourselves are full of insecurity and anxiety. 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:03.760 One of the podcast that I'm remembering very strongly whereas 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:09.040 I'm talking about this is the episode with Kobe Bryant. Now, 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:13.840 Kobe Bryant was someone who surprised me because he was satisfied, 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:21.040 content driven, and ambitious even in retirement. What we find 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:22.800 with a lot of athletes is that when they come 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:26.960 to retirement, there's a sort of impatience, there's a struggle, 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:31.320 there's a back and forth, and there's a disconnection internally 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:34.360 for them because it almost feels like the most meaningful 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:37.920 thing in their life has already been achieved. What next? 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:41.120 What did they do now? How do they transition? How 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:45.120 do they shift? And so a lot of us are 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:48.959 told that or a lot of people, especially who are 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:53.400 athletes whose career is based on age and fitness, are 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:56.760 often scared of retirement. And when I met Kobe and 0:08:56.760 --> 0:09:00.920 I interviewed Kobe Bryant, I saw an immense I saw 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:05.040 a sense of stillness and contentment in retirement where he 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:08.640 was so joyful because he was now telling stories, which 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:12.080 is what he believed in. So again, nothing is as 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:15.120 scary as you think. It's worse in your imagination. For athletes, 0:09:15.559 --> 0:09:19.680 I'm sure that the idea of retirement can be scarier 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:22.320 in their mind. I want you to think about what's 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:25.959 been scarier in your mind, what has challenged you so 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:30.080 much mentally that maybe even made you act out of character. 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:33.240 But now that you think about it, you're right, Actually, Jay, 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:36.360 you're so right that when I did something in real life, 0:09:36.360 --> 0:09:40.560 it wasn't nearly as bad, right, It wasn't nearly as complicated. 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:43.640 And I think this is such an interesting exercise that 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:48.000 everyone needs to do, because next time, your mind is 0:09:48.000 --> 0:09:50.840 going to do the same thing. Right. Your mind never 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:53.439 gives up. The next time there's something scary, your mind's 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:55.640 going to make it scarier. Your mind's going to make 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:58.880 it harder. Your mind's going to make it tougher internally, 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:01.720 your mind's going to make it more and more challenging 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:06.080 for you personally. But what if you can see that differently? 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:10.280 What if you could approach it differently? What if you 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:14.480 could challenge it? You know, when I interviewed Eva Longori, 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:16.400 if you haven't heard that episode, it's it's a mind 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:21.480 blowing episode about how she was working on Desperate Housewives 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:26.760 and studying and you know, building her career. It's just 0:10:26.800 --> 0:10:30.240 an incredible journey of time management and focus and planning. 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:33.400 And when you hear about them, your imagination it sounds difficult, 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:38.679 and it was difficult. She worked extremely hard, but reality 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:42.960 of her making that happen for her. There was no 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:45.960 other choice. There was no other option, and so I 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:48.280 really want you to think about that nothing is as 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:50.640 scary as you think. It's worse than your imagination. One 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:53.880 of the ones for me this year was skydiving. When 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:56.560 I went skydiving, when I thought about it, when I 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:58.959 just thought about it before, even when skydiving, I felt 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:02.040 sick in my imagine. I felt sick in reality from 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:05.600 how I viewed it in my imagination. And that one 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:09.000 for me was huge because I found that what I 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:11.960 did this was really interesting. What I did is that 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:17.400 I visualized. I went onto YouTube. I searched for skydiving 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:23.800 videos and real footage, and I watched how you go 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:26.040 up in a plane, what it looks like when the 0:11:26.080 --> 0:11:28.319 plane door opens, and then what it looks like when 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:31.000 you jump out. Obviously I couldn't feel it, but just 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:35.520 looking at that altitude and the height, like the fifteen 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:39.360 thousand feet, even that made me sick in my visualization. 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:42.240 It made me sick in my stomach just looking at 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:46.280 the videos and imagining, closing my eyes and visualizing that 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:50.520 I was there. Now. By the seventh time of visualizing it, 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:53.720 I wasn't feeling sick anymore, And so I thought, Okay, 0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:58.199 now that I've been through it in my imagination, it 0:11:58.240 --> 0:12:01.199 will be much better in reality. So actually I lived 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:04.280 through the fear. I was living through the pain in 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:07.560 my visualization. Now, granted this took a lot of focus, 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:11.560 it took a lot of thought process, but it was 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:14.840 just a fascinating thing to play around with that Sometimes 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:16.920 people say, oh, well, what I imagine is worse, and 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:20.240 therefore let me contextualize that will actually live it out 0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:23.280 in your mind? How bad can it be? Now, I'm 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:27.720 not visualizing worst case scenario, like I'm not visualizing what 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:30.640 if my parachute doesn't work? And what if this doesn't work? 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:34.760 Like I'm not imagining the negative scenario. I'm imagining it 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:37.160 as it is. And I think that's the key. That 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:40.960 usually we visualize not a positive scenario, but a negative scenario. 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:44.120 And I'm not asking you to visualize a positive or 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:47.280 a negative. I'm asking you to visualize and as is scenario. 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:50.160 The more we can bring ourselves back down to reality, 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:54.720 the better our mindset is now. The third one is 0:12:55.200 --> 0:13:00.400 people won't always see your best work do it anyway. 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:03.600 We live in a world where we think everything needs 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:07.559 to be seen and shown. Everything needs to be recorded 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:13.560 and documented, Everything needs to be stored. And hey, I'm 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:18.360 part of this too. But what I've learned to realize 0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:21.360 is that people won't always see your best work. People 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:24.600 won't always know what you did before you did it. 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:30.000 People won't always realize your background story. People may not 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:32.280 understand what it took to get to where you are. 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:35.200 I look at someone like Mike Posner, he was one 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:39.640 of the earliest guests on the podcast Phenomenal Journey, just 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:42.720 what he went through with losing his father, what he 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:46.800 went through with searching for his own truth, the work 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:49.520 that he was doing across the States. The reason why 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:52.319 I'm referencing that is just people may not see that. 0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:54.560 We see people for what we see on TV, and 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:56.920 people see you for what they see on Instagram. Right, 0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:59.840 we judge people based on what we see on TV 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:03.240 and interviews. We're judged by how people see us on 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:06.160 Instagram all the time and when we really think about it, 0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:11.280 when we've really stopped to pause. People won't always see 0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:17.199 our best work. And that's okay. It doesn't matter. They 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:19.800 don't need to understand us. There was this clip that 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:22.400 went viral recently on Instagram and TikTok of me being 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:27.200 interviewed on the Justin Bold Only Man Enough podcast, and 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:30.480 I was asked this brilliant question by Jamie, his co host, 0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:33.880 and he asked me, what do people value that you don't? 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:36.800 And you can literally see me pause for a second 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:39.360 and really see me think about it, and I say, 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:43.480 being understood. What I've realized is that trying to be 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:48.520 understood is difficult when you're doing things that are beyond 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:52.760 people's comprehension, or trying to do things beyond people's comprehension. 0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:56.040 I'm thinking about my guest you Vow Noah Harari, the 0:14:56.160 --> 0:15:00.560 author of Homodaeus and Sapiens, and a lot of what 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:06.320 he writes about can trigger it can spark debate, but 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:11.920 it's hard for people to agree and say they understand 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:16.840 everything when it's challenging normal thought. This is also true 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:20.760 of my interview with Gary v which was back in 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.360 twenty nineteen, now two years ago, and it was all 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:25.960 about how to stop caring what other people think, because 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:30.480 people's thinking is based on their background and their walk 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:35.200 of life and their realm of sight. Right, your realm 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:38.920 of sight is what defines what you believe is possible 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:40.760 or impossible. If you grow up in a city or 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:43.440 a town where certain things were possible and certain things 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:48.800 were impossible, you artificially took on those limits amongst yourselves. 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:51.480 And so I see this again and again from people 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:54.600 on the podcast about people won't always see your best work. 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:57.520 Do it anyway, people won't always understand you, people won't 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.360 always get you, and not everything about you needs to 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:03.680 be seen, understood and heard, because in that process, you 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:06.840 may actually run out of energy, right, You may actually 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:09.840 get exhausted trying to make sure that everyone can see 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:11.840 what you're up to. And I've found in my life 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:15.080 that sometimes I think about these podcasts, these audio episodes 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:17.840 have never been seen. Sure they've been heard, but they've 0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:20.640 never been seen. And there are so many insights in 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:23.120 these solo episodes that I know you keep coming back 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:25.200 from that. I get in the flow and in the 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:29.560 zone for as well. That may never be heard. That's okay, 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:34.040 because you're not doing it for that. You're doing it 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:37.640 because it's your best work. When I think about people 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:39.840 who've been on the podcast, who are just doing their 0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:45.440 best work, regardless of if anyone's watching or not, if 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:51.800 anyone's taking note or not if anyone's being observant or not, 0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:55.720 they're just doing their best work. Number four is people 0:16:55.760 --> 0:17:00.120 will surprise you if you let them so get to 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:01.960 know them. One of the things I find is that 0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:07.600 it's so easy to create a perception around someone through 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:10.720 what we hear about them, what we see about them, 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:14.520 and maybe even what they expose us to sometimes. But 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.639 what we find so often, especially when I get to 0:17:17.680 --> 0:17:21.760 know people, is that there's so much more complexity, there's 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:24.480 so much more texture, There's so much more to this 0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:27.320 human being. How many times have you ever judge someone 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:30.439 from a far, then you get closer and then you 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:33.760 actually become friends with them when you'd actually previously judge 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:37.120 them negatively, So you went from judging someone negatively from 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:40.040 a far to loving them from a close. Fascinating, right, 0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:43.520 how you can go from judging someone negatively from afar 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:49.439 to loving someone from close? What does that say? It 0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:52.560 says that people will surprise you if you let them 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:55.760 get to know them. People will surprise you if you 0:17:55.880 --> 0:17:59.399 get to know them both ways. People may surprise you 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:02.760 and feel so much more loving, kind, amazing in person 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:05.720 than you ever imagined, all the opposite, maybe from afar, 0:18:05.800 --> 0:18:07.760 you thought someone was amazing, and then when you got close, 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:10.280 you realized they weren't your type of person. I find 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:13.120 that this to be such an interesting way of thinking 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:15.320 about it, and the way I'd suggest we all do 0:18:15.359 --> 0:18:19.160 it is, let's not waste our time. Let's stop ourselves 0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:22.640 from judging people from afar. If you don't know someone, 0:18:23.240 --> 0:18:26.840 remove judgment from your mind, because it's just a waste 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:29.200 of space if you haven't really spent time. I was 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:31.439 sitting with a group of people recently and they were 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:36.520 talking about someone that I actually know personally, and I 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:39.720 didn't want to talk about this person, but I was thinking, wow. 0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:43.879 I didn't want to share about them because it's a confidential, 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:47.720 of course, relationship, but I was just thinking my head, Wow, 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:50.560 People just watch the news, they read a few articles, 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:54.280 and we think we know someone. Imagine if someone did 0:18:54.320 --> 0:18:57.280 that to us. Do you think if someone wrote an 0:18:57.359 --> 0:18:59.600 article on you and watched a couple of interviews when 0:18:59.640 --> 0:19:02.600 you were nervous, out of place, not sure, and that 0:19:02.640 --> 0:19:05.480 they judge you on that, Or people judge you based 0:19:05.520 --> 0:19:07.800 on a few Instagram comments or a few people's thoughts, 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:10.800 but they've never met you. People will surprise you if 0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:15.440 you get to know them, So don't make a judgment 0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:18.719 from someone from Afar. Allow yourself to get to know them. 0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:19.960 And if you're never going to get to know them, 0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:22.200 then keep them out of your life, keep them out 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:24.879 of your mind. Don't waste any energy there. And that 0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:27.560 applies to number of five. You really don't know why 0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:30.440 anyone's going through, so don't waste your time on it. 0:19:30.960 --> 0:19:34.480 You know, I think a lot of the time we're like, oh, yeah, 0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:37.360 but they'll be fine, or that's okay, or they don't 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:39.960 need to worry about that. But the truth is that 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:42.240 we don't really know what anyone's going through. Sometimes I'll 0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:45.040 see someone who comes up to me in the street 0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:46.560 and will say to me, you've just been listening to 0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:48.679 your podcast, watching your videos, and all of a sudden 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:51.879 they'll break down crying, and I'm thinking, wow, this person 0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:56.000 just went from being fully happy to being really vulnerable 0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:58.719 with me. And I'll ask them and be like, are 0:19:58.760 --> 0:20:00.840 you okay, Like tell me what happened, And someone will 0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:04.520 open up and say they lost someone, they lost a job, 0:20:05.000 --> 0:20:07.920 they have been caring for someone who's sickly or unwell. 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:12.600 People are going through so much. If we could simply 0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:16.159 recognize that we don't know what anyone's going through, so 0:20:16.280 --> 0:20:18.680 let's not judge them, Let's not waste our time on that. 0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:25.080 Let's really really truly focus on ourselves. The sixth one 0:20:25.640 --> 0:20:29.920 is your health is unique, so treated that way. We've 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:34.399 added an incredible selection of guests from the health and 0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:39.280 fitness world, whether it's doctor Joe Dispenser, Dave Asprey, whether 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:42.879 it's doctor Stephen Gundry or Ben Greenfield, and we've also 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:46.040 had doctor Mark Hyman Rich role whim Half. There are 0:20:46.080 --> 0:20:49.720 some incredible guests in this field that I highly recommend 0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:52.600 going back and listening to their episodes. But what I've 0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:55.360 learned from listening to all of them is that your 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:58.040 health is unique, and you have to treat it that way. 0:20:58.520 --> 0:21:01.040 I think when we hear about a diet or we 0:21:01.080 --> 0:21:04.760 hear about a new super food, we do one of 0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:09.240 two things. We discard it because we think it's irrelevant, 0:21:09.400 --> 0:21:13.159 it's a fad, it doesn't apply to us, forget about it, 0:21:13.680 --> 0:21:15.800 or we get so obsessed with it that we think 0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:18.919 that has to change what we want, that has to 0:21:19.000 --> 0:21:22.040 fix us. And the truth is the answer is actually 0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:25.520 much more in the middle, which is tested out and 0:21:25.600 --> 0:21:28.000 see if it's true for you. I think this has 0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:31.040 been my approach to food and diet for the past 0:21:31.040 --> 0:21:33.639 few years, trying to really find what is it that 0:21:33.680 --> 0:21:35.480 I want to eat for breakfast based on how I 0:21:35.520 --> 0:21:38.520 want to feel. So I know that when I eat breakfast, 0:21:38.960 --> 0:21:42.560 I want to feel energized but not heavy. I want 0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:45.919 to feel focused and clear, but I don't want to 0:21:45.960 --> 0:21:48.639 feel so full. It's taking me a long time to 0:21:48.680 --> 0:21:50.359 figure out what I need to eat, and I'll share 0:21:50.359 --> 0:21:52.760 that with you in a second. Done with lunch, the 0:21:52.880 --> 0:21:56.120 same thing. Sometimes after lunch, I love the taste of something, 0:21:56.400 --> 0:21:58.960 but for the rest of the day, I'm feeling really heavy. 0:21:58.960 --> 0:22:02.400 I'm feeling tired, feeling lethargic. I know that my lunch 0:22:02.480 --> 0:22:04.880 needs to keep me going. My lunch needs to give 0:22:04.920 --> 0:22:07.160 me that momentum. My lunch needs to be that pick 0:22:07.240 --> 0:22:09.240 me up. Then I need a snack at about three 0:22:09.280 --> 0:22:11.040 to four pm to keep me going till the end 0:22:11.080 --> 0:22:14.040 of the day. And then finally dinner, which I really 0:22:14.080 --> 0:22:17.440 want to be comforting as well. So I've tried out 0:22:17.440 --> 0:22:19.360 a lot of different things for me. One of the 0:22:19.359 --> 0:22:22.680 biggest things that I realized recently by doing a micronutrient 0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:26.879 test is that I was slightly allergic to oats, and 0:22:26.920 --> 0:22:29.600 I love oats, so that was really difficult to discover. 0:22:30.040 --> 0:22:32.040 But at the same time that I had low vitamin 0:22:32.160 --> 0:22:35.439 D and the vitamin D was affecting so much in 0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:39.080 my life, so I healthy so unique. If someone else 0:22:39.119 --> 0:22:40.600 was looking at me, they would have thought, Jay, you 0:22:40.640 --> 0:22:43.280 look healthy, you look fine. I knew I didn't feel great, 0:22:43.880 --> 0:22:46.480 and I realized that was partly vitamin D. I also 0:22:46.520 --> 0:22:48.520 realized that when I was eating oats in the morning, 0:22:48.600 --> 0:22:52.240 I was feeling bloated. I was feeling uncomfortable. But then 0:22:52.359 --> 0:22:54.640 switching it to cheer pudding, which has been a game 0:22:54.720 --> 0:22:58.840 changer for me with blueberries and raspberries. I'm now finishing 0:22:58.840 --> 0:23:01.680 my mornings feeling activated for the rest of the day. 0:23:02.200 --> 0:23:04.960 The same is true for my workouts. For a long time, 0:23:05.000 --> 0:23:08.080 I was hitting the gym, I was getting bored. I 0:23:08.160 --> 0:23:10.280 really wasn't engaged with it anymore. And I got into 0:23:10.320 --> 0:23:13.000 tennis during the pandemic, and I loved it. I enjoyed 0:23:13.000 --> 0:23:17.840 it every single day. It was brilliant. And then, as 0:23:18.400 --> 0:23:21.960 time would do with anything, I started to realize that 0:23:22.080 --> 0:23:24.840 I didn't love just playing tennis. So I wanted to 0:23:24.880 --> 0:23:27.000 add something and I started noticed that I didn't feel 0:23:27.000 --> 0:23:30.520 it strong anymore. So I added weight training, and that 0:23:30.560 --> 0:23:33.400 weight training has given me not only an edge while 0:23:33.400 --> 0:23:36.439 playing tennis, but it's also given me a feeling of 0:23:36.520 --> 0:23:40.200 strength of confidence. It's been so great for my physicality. 0:23:40.640 --> 0:23:43.600