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Speaker 1: How many times have you ever judged someone from afar,

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Speaker 1: then you get closer, and then you actually become friends

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Speaker 1: with them when you'd actually previously judge them negatively, So

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Speaker 1: you went from judging someone negatively from afar to loving

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Speaker 1: them from a close. Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose,

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Speaker 1: to number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to

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Speaker 1: each and every single one of you that come back

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Speaker 1: every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now today is

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Speaker 1: an extra extra special episode. It really really is because

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Speaker 1: this is episode number three hundred and one. Now episode

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Speaker 1: three hundred and one of the Ombourbosed podcast makes me

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Speaker 1: feel like it deserves a celebration. We've had hundreds of

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Speaker 1: millions of downloads, we've had tens of millions of views,

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Speaker 1: and more importantly, with the three hundred episodes we've had

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Speaker 1: with over one hundred and fifty guests one hundred and

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Speaker 1: fifty solo episodes, I just want to thank you all

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Speaker 1: for the incredible support, the incredible love, the incredible energy

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Speaker 1: that you've brought to On Purpose. I know that you're

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Speaker 1: telling your friends every single day, every single week, every

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Speaker 1: single month, every single year about On Purpose. I know

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Speaker 1: that you're showing up again and again and again. I

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Speaker 1: love seeing your Spotify wrapped end of year lists where

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Speaker 1: you were sharing how many minutes you've listened to on Purpose,

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Speaker 1: and I keep seeing it grow on all platforms. So

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Speaker 1: whether you're listening on Apple or Spotify, I see the

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Speaker 1: reviews continuing to flood in. I just want to thank

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Speaker 1: you for your support and your love and your kindness

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Speaker 1: and your dedication to listen, to learn and to grow

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Speaker 1: and to do that with me here on Purpose. I

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Speaker 1: promise you that this time that you spend with me

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Speaker 1: is never wasted. It's fully, fully invested into your future

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Speaker 1: and yourself, and I'm just so happy that we get

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Speaker 1: to be here together every single week while you eat,

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Speaker 1: while you cook, while you walk your dog, while you're

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Speaker 1: at the gym, while you're driving, whatever you're up to

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Speaker 1: right now. Thank you for being an on Purpose listener.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is all about the ten lessons I've learned

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Speaker 1: over the last three hundred episodes of On Purpose. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be referencing some old episodes, talking about some

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Speaker 1: guests that we've had, and I hope that you're going

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Speaker 1: to go back and listen to the ones that you

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Speaker 1: missed or maybe haven't heard yet, and I can't wait

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Speaker 1: to dive in. So if you're ready, I'm ready. Let's

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Speaker 1: do it. And if you feel like it, grab a

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Speaker 1: screenshot right now and wish us a happy three hundred

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Speaker 1: episode birthday on Instagram, Twitter, wherever you're listening, wherever you share.

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Speaker 1: So the first lesson I want to share with you

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Speaker 1: is you have to be patient for the big things,

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Speaker 1: impatient for the small things. Be patient about the big things,

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Speaker 1: and to be impatient about the small things. We've had

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Speaker 1: so many incredible guests on the show that represent patience.

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Speaker 1: People who've waited years for their big break, people who've

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Speaker 1: waited decades to be heard and to be seen to

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Speaker 1: make a breakthrough. I remember the episode with Chrissy Metz

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Speaker 1: and her talking about her journey of being so broke

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Speaker 1: and still finding a way. There was patience for the

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Speaker 1: big break or the big role, but there was impatience

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Speaker 1: around what can I do right now to solve this problem.

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Speaker 1: When you look at Mark Randolph, one of the co

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Speaker 1: founders of Netflix, he had patience. They knew that Netflix,

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Speaker 1: with where they started it as a mail delivery service

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Speaker 1: of movies, would evolve. They were patient about its growth,

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Speaker 1: but they were impatient about learning, about growing, about figuring

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Speaker 1: out what they wanted to do next. This balance of

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Speaker 1: patience and impatience has been huge in my own life.

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Speaker 1: I'm patient for things that feel like a true achievement.

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Speaker 1: I'm patient about things that are the result, but I'm

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Speaker 1: impatient about what I can control now. So I'm patient

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Speaker 1: for the big winds, the big results, the big landmarks,

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Speaker 1: the big milestones. I can be patient about those, but

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Speaker 1: I'm impatient about what can I do right now, What's

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Speaker 1: the action I can take that actually gets me closer

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Speaker 1: to that. So in the last twelve months, I feel

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Speaker 1: that the things that I've been most impatient about is

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Speaker 1: starting something. I was impatient about starting Psalmote, we the

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Speaker 1: tea company. I was impatient about working on my new book,

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Speaker 1: which actually requires a lot of patients and which was

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Speaker 1: a lot of fun. I was impatient about some of

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Speaker 1: the content I want to create and some of the

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Speaker 1: new things I wanted to try on YouTube, where I

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Speaker 1: know so many of you watch our videos and connect

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Speaker 1: with us. But I'm patient. You know, last year we

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Speaker 1: won a lot of awards. We won a lot of

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Speaker 1: book awards. To Think like a Monk, we won a

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Speaker 1: lot of Webby Awards, But this year was a year

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Speaker 1: where I was planting those seeds again. So sometimes what

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Speaker 1: we get impatient about is we get impatient about the

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Speaker 1: result and we get patient about what we can do.

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Speaker 1: And it needs to be the other way around. We

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Speaker 1: need to be impatient about what we can do and

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Speaker 1: patient for the result. That's how patience and impatience can

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Speaker 1: actually work together. So remember to be patient for the

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Speaker 1: big things, impatient for the small things. Ask yourself right now,

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Speaker 1: what is it that you can do today that is

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Speaker 1: going to shift or make a difference in your life?

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Speaker 1: Do that today? Do not be patient for that now.

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Speaker 1: The second biggest lesson that I've learned in the last

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Speaker 1: twelve months and from three hundred episodes on the podcast

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Speaker 1: is that nothing is as scary as you think. It's

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Speaker 1: worse in your imagination. Now, this to me reminds me

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Speaker 1: of the first ever On Purpose episode that I recorded,

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Speaker 1: not the first one that was released, the first one

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Speaker 1: that was recorded, because often we will record and release

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Speaker 1: in a different order. And so the first podcast we

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Speaker 1: ever recorded was with Kenneth Cole, and I remember it

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Speaker 1: was a dark, gray afternoon in la which is surprising,

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Speaker 1: and he came to my apartment where we used to record,

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Speaker 1: and I was so nervous about the questions about the flow.

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Speaker 1: The journey of the interview we had at the US

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Speaker 1: wasn't even out yet. You didn't even know that it existed.

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Speaker 1: And nothing, I truly mean, nothing is as scary as

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Speaker 1: you think. It's worse than your imagination. Seneca said that

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Speaker 1: we suffer twice, once in reality and once in imagination.

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Speaker 1: I actually think that the suffering in our imagination is

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Speaker 1: more painful. The way you think something is going to

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Speaker 1: be in your mind is way scarier than it can

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Speaker 1: be in real life. Why are we scared of going

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Speaker 1: to the dark area or dark room because of the unknown,

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Speaker 1: and in our mind we fill that room with so

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Speaker 1: much scary stuff. But then when you go there and

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Speaker 1: you open the door, there's nothing in there, right, There's

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Speaker 1: nothing under the bed. One thing we've realized is that

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Speaker 1: the stories we tell ourselves are full of fear. The

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Speaker 1: stories we tell ourselves are full of insecurity and anxiety.

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Speaker 1: One of the podcast that I'm remembering very strongly whereas

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about this is the episode with Kobe Bryant. Now,

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Speaker 1: Kobe Bryant was someone who surprised me because he was satisfied,

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Speaker 1: content driven, and ambitious even in retirement. What we find

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Speaker 1: with a lot of athletes is that when they come

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Speaker 1: to retirement, there's a sort of impatience, there's a struggle,

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Speaker 1: there's a back and forth, and there's a disconnection internally

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Speaker 1: for them because it almost feels like the most meaningful

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Speaker 1: thing in their life has already been achieved. What next?

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Speaker 1: What did they do now? How do they transition? How

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Speaker 1: do they shift? And so a lot of us are

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Speaker 1: told that or a lot of people, especially who are

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Speaker 1: athletes whose career is based on age and fitness, are

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Speaker 1: often scared of retirement. And when I met Kobe and

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Speaker 1: I interviewed Kobe Bryant, I saw an immense I saw

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Speaker 1: a sense of stillness and contentment in retirement where he

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Speaker 1: was so joyful because he was now telling stories, which

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Speaker 1: is what he believed in. So again, nothing is as

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Speaker 1: scary as you think. It's worse in your imagination. For athletes,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure that the idea of retirement can be scarier

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Speaker 1: in their mind. I want you to think about what's

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Speaker 1: been scarier in your mind, what has challenged you so

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Speaker 1: much mentally that maybe even made you act out of character.

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Speaker 1: But now that you think about it, you're right, Actually, Jay,

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Speaker 1: you're so right that when I did something in real life,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't nearly as bad, right, It wasn't nearly as complicated.

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Speaker 1: And I think this is such an interesting exercise that

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Speaker 1: everyone needs to do, because next time, your mind is

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Speaker 1: going to do the same thing. Right. Your mind never

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Speaker 1: gives up. The next time there's something scary, your mind's

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Speaker 1: going to make it scarier. Your mind's going to make

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Speaker 1: it harder. Your mind's going to make it tougher internally,

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Speaker 1: your mind's going to make it more and more challenging

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Speaker 1: for you personally. But what if you can see that differently?

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Speaker 1: What if you could approach it differently? What if you

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Speaker 1: could challenge it? You know, when I interviewed Eva Longori,

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Speaker 1: if you haven't heard that episode, it's it's a mind

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Speaker 1: blowing episode about how she was working on Desperate Housewives

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Speaker 1: and studying and you know, building her career. It's just

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Speaker 1: an incredible journey of time management and focus and planning.

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Speaker 1: And when you hear about them, your imagination it sounds difficult,

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Speaker 1: and it was difficult. She worked extremely hard, but reality

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Speaker 1: of her making that happen for her. There was no

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Speaker 1: other choice. There was no other option, and so I

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Speaker 1: really want you to think about that nothing is as

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Speaker 1: scary as you think. It's worse than your imagination. One

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Speaker 1: of the ones for me this year was skydiving. When

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Speaker 1: I went skydiving, when I thought about it, when I

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Speaker 1: just thought about it before, even when skydiving, I felt

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Speaker 1: sick in my imagine. I felt sick in reality from

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Speaker 1: how I viewed it in my imagination. And that one

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Speaker 1: for me was huge because I found that what I

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Speaker 1: did this was really interesting. What I did is that

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Speaker 1: I visualized. I went onto YouTube. I searched for skydiving

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Speaker 1: videos and real footage, and I watched how you go

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Speaker 1: up in a plane, what it looks like when the

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Speaker 1: plane door opens, and then what it looks like when

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Speaker 1: you jump out. Obviously I couldn't feel it, but just

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Speaker 1: looking at that altitude and the height, like the fifteen

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Speaker 1: thousand feet, even that made me sick in my visualization.

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Speaker 1: It made me sick in my stomach just looking at

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Speaker 1: the videos and imagining, closing my eyes and visualizing that

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Speaker 1: I was there. Now. By the seventh time of visualizing it,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't feeling sick anymore, And so I thought, Okay,

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Speaker 1: now that I've been through it in my imagination, it

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Speaker 1: will be much better in reality. So actually I lived

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Speaker 1: through the fear. I was living through the pain in

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Speaker 1: my visualization. Now, granted this took a lot of focus,

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Speaker 1: it took a lot of thought process, but it was

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Speaker 1: just a fascinating thing to play around with that Sometimes

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Speaker 1: people say, oh, well, what I imagine is worse, and

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Speaker 1: therefore let me contextualize that will actually live it out

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Speaker 1: in your mind? How bad can it be? Now, I'm

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Speaker 1: not visualizing worst case scenario, like I'm not visualizing what

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Speaker 1: if my parachute doesn't work? And what if this doesn't work?

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Speaker 1: Like I'm not imagining the negative scenario. I'm imagining it

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Speaker 1: as it is. And I think that's the key. That

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Speaker 1: usually we visualize not a positive scenario, but a negative scenario.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not asking you to visualize a positive or

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Speaker 1: a negative. I'm asking you to visualize and as is scenario.

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Speaker 1: The more we can bring ourselves back down to reality,

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Speaker 1: the better our mindset is now. The third one is

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Speaker 1: people won't always see your best work do it anyway.

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Speaker 1: We live in a world where we think everything needs

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Speaker 1: to be seen and shown. Everything needs to be recorded

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Speaker 1: and documented, Everything needs to be stored. And hey, I'm

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Speaker 1: part of this too. But what I've learned to realize

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Speaker 1: is that people won't always see your best work. People

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Speaker 1: won't always know what you did before you did it.

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Speaker 1: People won't always realize your background story. People may not

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Speaker 1: understand what it took to get to where you are.

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Speaker 1: I look at someone like Mike Posner, he was one

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Speaker 1: of the earliest guests on the podcast Phenomenal Journey, just

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Speaker 1: what he went through with losing his father, what he

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Speaker 1: went through with searching for his own truth, the work

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Speaker 1: that he was doing across the States. The reason why

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Speaker 1: I'm referencing that is just people may not see that.

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Speaker 1: We see people for what we see on TV, and

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Speaker 1: people see you for what they see on Instagram. Right,

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Speaker 1: we judge people based on what we see on TV

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Speaker 1: and interviews. We're judged by how people see us on

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Speaker 1: Instagram all the time and when we really think about it,

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Speaker 1: when we've really stopped to pause. People won't always see

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Speaker 1: our best work. And that's okay. It doesn't matter. They

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Speaker 1: don't need to understand us. There was this clip that

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Speaker 1: went viral recently on Instagram and TikTok of me being

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Speaker 1: interviewed on the Justin Bold Only Man Enough podcast, and

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Speaker 1: I was asked this brilliant question by Jamie, his co host,

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Speaker 1: and he asked me, what do people value that you don't?

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Speaker 1: And you can literally see me pause for a second

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Speaker 1: and really see me think about it, and I say,

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Speaker 1: being understood. What I've realized is that trying to be

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Speaker 1: understood is difficult when you're doing things that are beyond

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Speaker 1: people's comprehension, or trying to do things beyond people's comprehension.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking about my guest you Vow Noah Harari, the

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Speaker 1: author of Homodaeus and Sapiens, and a lot of what

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Speaker 1: he writes about can trigger it can spark debate, but

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Speaker 1: it's hard for people to agree and say they understand

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Speaker 1: everything when it's challenging normal thought. This is also true

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Speaker 1: of my interview with Gary v which was back in

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Speaker 1: twenty nineteen, now two years ago, and it was all

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Speaker 1: about how to stop caring what other people think, because

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Speaker 1: people's thinking is based on their background and their walk

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Speaker 1: of life and their realm of sight. Right, your realm

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Speaker 1: of sight is what defines what you believe is possible

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Speaker 1: or impossible. If you grow up in a city or

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Speaker 1: a town where certain things were possible and certain things

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Speaker 1: were impossible, you artificially took on those limits amongst yourselves.

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Speaker 1: And so I see this again and again from people

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Speaker 1: on the podcast about people won't always see your best work.

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Speaker 1: Do it anyway, people won't always understand you, people won't

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Speaker 1: always get you, and not everything about you needs to

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Speaker 1: be seen, understood and heard, because in that process, you

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Speaker 1: may actually run out of energy, right, You may actually

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Speaker 1: get exhausted trying to make sure that everyone can see

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Speaker 1: what you're up to. And I've found in my life

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Speaker 1: that sometimes I think about these podcasts, these audio episodes

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Speaker 1: have never been seen. Sure they've been heard, but they've

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Speaker 1: never been seen. And there are so many insights in

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Speaker 1: these solo episodes that I know you keep coming back

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Speaker 1: from that. I get in the flow and in the

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Speaker 1: zone for as well. That may never be heard. That's okay,

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Speaker 1: because you're not doing it for that. You're doing it

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Speaker 1: because it's your best work. When I think about people

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Speaker 1: who've been on the podcast, who are just doing their

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Speaker 1: best work, regardless of if anyone's watching or not, if

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Speaker 1: anyone's taking note or not if anyone's being observant or not,

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Speaker 1: they're just doing their best work. Number four is people

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Speaker 1: will surprise you if you let them so get to

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Speaker 1: know them. One of the things I find is that

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Speaker 1: it's so easy to create a perception around someone through

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Speaker 1: what we hear about them, what we see about them,

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Speaker 1: and maybe even what they expose us to sometimes. But

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Speaker 1: what we find so often, especially when I get to

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Speaker 1: know people, is that there's so much more complexity, there's

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Speaker 1: so much more texture, There's so much more to this

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Speaker 1: human being. How many times have you ever judge someone

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Speaker 1: from a far, then you get closer and then you

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Speaker 1: actually become friends with them when you'd actually previously judge

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Speaker 1: them negatively, So you went from judging someone negatively from

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Speaker 1: a far to loving them from a close. Fascinating, right,

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Speaker 1: how you can go from judging someone negatively from afar

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Speaker 1: to loving someone from close? What does that say? It

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Speaker 1: says that people will surprise you if you let them

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Speaker 1: get to know them. People will surprise you if you

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Speaker 1: get to know them both ways. People may surprise you

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Speaker 1: and feel so much more loving, kind, amazing in person

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Speaker 1: than you ever imagined, all the opposite, maybe from afar,

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Speaker 1: you thought someone was amazing, and then when you got close,

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Speaker 1: you realized they weren't your type of person. I find

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Speaker 1: that this to be such an interesting way of thinking

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Speaker 1: about it, and the way I'd suggest we all do

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Speaker 1: it is, let's not waste our time. Let's stop ourselves

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Speaker 1: from judging people from afar. If you don't know someone,

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Speaker 1: remove judgment from your mind, because it's just a waste

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Speaker 1: of space if you haven't really spent time. I was

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Speaker 1: sitting with a group of people recently and they were

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Speaker 1: talking about someone that I actually know personally, and I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to talk about this person, but I was thinking, wow.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to share about them because it's a confidential,

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Speaker 1: of course, relationship, but I was just thinking my head, Wow,

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Speaker 1: People just watch the news, they read a few articles,

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Speaker 1: and we think we know someone. Imagine if someone did

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Speaker 1: that to us. Do you think if someone wrote an

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Speaker 1: article on you and watched a couple of interviews when

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Speaker 1: you were nervous, out of place, not sure, and that

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Speaker 1: they judge you on that, Or people judge you based

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Speaker 1: on a few Instagram comments or a few people's thoughts,

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Speaker 1: but they've never met you. People will surprise you if

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Speaker 1: you get to know them, So don't make a judgment

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Speaker 1: from someone from Afar. Allow yourself to get to know them.

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Speaker 1: And if you're never going to get to know them,

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Speaker 1: then keep them out of your life, keep them out

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Speaker 1: of your mind. Don't waste any energy there. And that

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Speaker 1: applies to number of five. You really don't know why

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Speaker 1: anyone's going through, so don't waste your time on it.

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Speaker 1: You know, I think a lot of the time we're like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but they'll be fine, or that's okay, or they don't

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Speaker 1: need to worry about that. But the truth is that

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Speaker 1: we don't really know what anyone's going through. Sometimes I'll

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Speaker 1: see someone who comes up to me in the street

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Speaker 1: and will say to me, you've just been listening to

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Speaker 1: your podcast, watching your videos, and all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: they'll break down crying, and I'm thinking, wow, this person

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Speaker 1: just went from being fully happy to being really vulnerable

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Speaker 1: with me. And I'll ask them and be like, are

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Speaker 1: you okay, Like tell me what happened, And someone will

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Speaker 1: open up and say they lost someone, they lost a job,

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Speaker 1: they have been caring for someone who's sickly or unwell.

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Speaker 1: People are going through so much. If we could simply

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Speaker 1: recognize that we don't know what anyone's going through, so

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Speaker 1: let's not judge them, Let's not waste our time on that.

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Speaker 1: Let's really really truly focus on ourselves. The sixth one

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Speaker 1: is your health is unique, so treated that way. We've

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Speaker 1: added an incredible selection of guests from the health and

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Speaker 1: fitness world, whether it's doctor Joe Dispenser, Dave Asprey, whether

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Speaker 1: it's doctor Stephen Gundry or Ben Greenfield, and we've also

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Speaker 1: had doctor Mark Hyman Rich role whim Half. There are

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Speaker 1: some incredible guests in this field that I highly recommend

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Speaker 1: going back and listening to their episodes. But what I've

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Speaker 1: learned from listening to all of them is that your

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Speaker 1: health is unique, and you have to treat it that way.

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Speaker 1: I think when we hear about a diet or we

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Speaker 1: hear about a new super food, we do one of

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Speaker 1: two things. We discard it because we think it's irrelevant,

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Speaker 1: it's a fad, it doesn't apply to us, forget about it,

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Speaker 1: or we get so obsessed with it that we think

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Speaker 1: that has to change what we want, that has to

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Speaker 1: fix us. And the truth is the answer is actually

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Speaker 1: much more in the middle, which is tested out and

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Speaker 1: see if it's true for you. I think this has

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Speaker 1: been my approach to food and diet for the past

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Speaker 1: few years, trying to really find what is it that

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Speaker 1: I want to eat for breakfast based on how I

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Speaker 1: want to feel. So I know that when I eat breakfast,

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Speaker 1: I want to feel energized but not heavy. I want

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Speaker 1: to feel focused and clear, but I don't want to

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Speaker 1: feel so full. It's taking me a long time to

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Speaker 1: figure out what I need to eat, and I'll share

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Speaker 1: that with you in a second. Done with lunch, the

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Speaker 1: same thing. Sometimes after lunch, I love the taste of something,

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Speaker 1: but for the rest of the day, I'm feeling really heavy.

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling tired, feeling lethargic. I know that my lunch

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Speaker 1: needs to keep me going. My lunch needs to give

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Speaker 1: me that momentum. My lunch needs to be that pick

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Speaker 1: me up. Then I need a snack at about three

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Speaker 1: to four pm to keep me going till the end

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Speaker 1: of the day. And then finally dinner, which I really

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Speaker 1: want to be comforting as well. So I've tried out

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Speaker 1: a lot of different things for me. One of the

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Speaker 1: biggest things that I realized recently by doing a micronutrient

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Speaker 1: test is that I was slightly allergic to oats, and

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Speaker 1: I love oats, so that was really difficult to discover.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time that I had low vitamin

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Speaker 1: D and the vitamin D was affecting so much in

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Speaker 1: my life, so I healthy so unique. If someone else

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Speaker 1: was looking at me, they would have thought, Jay, you

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Speaker 1: look healthy, you look fine. I knew I didn't feel great,

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Speaker 1: and I realized that was partly vitamin D. I also

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Speaker 1: realized that when I was eating oats in the morning,

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Speaker 1: I was feeling bloated. I was feeling uncomfortable. But then

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Speaker 1: switching it to cheer pudding, which has been a game

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Speaker 1: changer for me with blueberries and raspberries. I'm now finishing

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Speaker 1: my mornings feeling activated for the rest of the day.

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Speaker 1: The same is true for my workouts. For a long time,

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Speaker 1: I was hitting the gym, I was getting bored. I

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Speaker 1: really wasn't engaged with it anymore. And I got into

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Speaker 1: tennis during the pandemic, and I loved it. I enjoyed

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Speaker 1: it every single day. It was brilliant. And then, as

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Speaker 1: time would do with anything, I started to realize that

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Speaker 1: I didn't love just playing tennis. So I wanted to

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Speaker 1: add something and I started noticed that I didn't feel

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Speaker 1: it strong anymore. So I added weight training, and that

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Speaker 1: weight training has given me not only an edge while

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Speaker 1: playing tennis, but it's also given me a feeling of

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Speaker 1: strength of confidence. It's been so great for my physicality.

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Speaker 1: And so often the mistake we make is we go

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Speaker 1: into these extremes on our health and we don't realize

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Speaker 1: that our health is unique. So just because I said

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Speaker 1: cheer putting is good for my breakfast, doesn't mean that's

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Speaker 1: your breakfast, but try it out. Just because I said

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Speaker 1: I was loan with Vitaim, indeed doesn't mean that's what

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Speaker 1: you're lowing, but it is worth checking out. So I

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Speaker 1: find that these are all points of connection, points of

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Speaker 1: reflection that we can use to change our health. Now,

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Speaker 1: this was one again that I read about, which is

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Speaker 1: all about the infrared sauna and cold plunge, and this

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Speaker 1: has become huge for me and rather where every week

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Speaker 1: we're doing three cycles of fifteen minutes in an infrared

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Speaker 1: sauna than to three to seven minutes in a cold plunge,

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Speaker 1: three cycles of each back to back, and it has

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Speaker 1: been so powerful and I'm actually missing it. I haven't

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Speaker 1: done it for the past couple of weeks. It got

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Speaker 1: cold outside and I became one of those people that

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I don't want to be called.

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Speaker 1: But now I'm looking back, going I need to get

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Speaker 1: back to it. I cannot wait. And so your health

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Speaker 1: is unique. Please treat it that way. Please do not

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Speaker 1: just keep trying to apply someone else's therapy for your body.

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Speaker 1: Treat your body uniquely. The next one is figure out

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Speaker 1: what you enjoy doing with your partner and with your friends.

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Speaker 1: This is something that I've realized more and more when

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Speaker 1: I'm coaching couples or I'm even seeing my friends and relationships,

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Speaker 1: is people don't know what they like to do with

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Speaker 1: other people. So often one's ends up happening. Is we

430
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 1: end up sitting around everyone's on their phone. How often

431
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 1: does that happen? Or maybe a movie's on in the background,

432
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 1: or maybe you ordered some food as well. But what

433
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,640
Speaker 1: do you truly enjoy doing with different people? So I've

434
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 1: got friends where I know we can talk for hours

435
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 1: pretty much feels like a podcast episode. It's a Q

436
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,360
Speaker 1: and A for hours, and we love that with each other,

437
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:32,360
Speaker 1: with rather its experiences and experiments. We like playing games,

438
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 1: we like trying out new things, We like trying out

439
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 1: even like a round a mini golf. Right, But doing

440
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 1: something active and experiential with rather always works with other

441
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 1: friends of mine, I know that what we like to

442
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,120
Speaker 1: do is dinner in a movie, like that's our thing

443
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 1: to do together. It's so important to start discovering what

444
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 1: you like to do with people, because what I've found

445
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 1: is that as time goes on, you end up doing

446
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 1: more of the same thing. And if you haven't discovered

447
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 1: something that brings you a lie, usually settle for something

448
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 1: quite weak. So really think about the time you spend

449
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,360
Speaker 1: with your friends. What do you do. Maybe you're trying

450
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 1: out new restaurants. Maybe you're trying out new games at home.

451
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: Maybe you have a friend that you only play video

452
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 1: games with. Maybe you have someone else that you read

453
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 1: a book with. Maybe you start a book club. What

454
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 1: I've found is that people who learned together and people

455
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:29,119
Speaker 1: who experience together have deeper, more powerful bonds. Why because

456
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: when you're learning and you're experimenting, you're more more vulnerable.

457
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:37,360
Speaker 1: When you're learning and experiencing, you actually go beneath the surface.

458
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: There's no more small talk there to try that out.

459
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 1: That's really what led to me and Rady starting PSALMAT

460
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: because we were experimenting. We were learning together about herbs.

461
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 1: Well she was doing the learning, actually I was just

462
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,400
Speaker 1: doing the tasting. But that's where we discovered that we

463
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: loved tea and we wanted to create something for everyone

464
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 1: in the world. And so simply by learning and experimenting,

465
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 1: you never know where you're going to end up. Number

466
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,959
Speaker 1: eight is you can do anything you want in forty

467
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 1: eight hours if you truly put your mind to it.

468
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,680
Speaker 1: Earlier this year, I've read a stat that said one

469
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 1: person died in India every five minutes from COVID and

470
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 1: I woke up to that stat and then I was

471
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 1: talking to another friend in India who was telling me

472
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 1: how dire this situation was, how bad it was, how

473
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: many people we knew that were losing their lives and

474
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 1: the challenges that they were going through and rather and

475
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,199
Speaker 1: I felt compelled to try to do something, but I

476
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 1: didn't know how long the problem was going to last.

477
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,119
Speaker 1: I didn't really know anyone in the space who was helping.

478
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:40,120
Speaker 1: So I started researching. I started reading about what charities

479
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 1: were having an impact, what NGOs were having an impact,

480
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 1: on the ground making a difference, and in forty eight hours,

481
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 1: Rather and I organized a fundraiser for India for COVID

482
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 1: relief called Help India Breathe, And in forty eight hours

483
00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: and across the weekend, we raised over five million dollars.

484
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 1: It just blew my mind because we went and found

485
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 1: a production company, We had to find the charity, We

486
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: had to locate the NGOs, We had to make sure

487
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 1: that the money was being spent correctly. We had to

488
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: go and find out the friends who wanted to be

489
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 1: a part of our fundraiser. We had to get these

490
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 1: graphics made. We had to get the video footage made.

491
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 1: I have probably you never felt so mission driven about

492
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:27,120
Speaker 1: something in my life ever before. And I saw that

493
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 1: that conviction and that focus for a worthy cause really

494
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: brought something out in me. Often we think, oh, I

495
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: need months to plan something like that, and if you

496
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 1: saw it, you'd be like, oh, well, they must have

497
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: been working on this for a while. It looked professional,

498
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 1: it worked great, but it wasn't at all right. And

499
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: I wrote our script that morning. I remember going through

500
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: it with her and we were just working on our script.

501
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 1: What I find so amazing about all of this is

502
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 1: that I want to remind you that you can do

503
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 1: anything you want in forty eight hours if you really

504
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 1: want to. And to think that all of you donated

505
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 1: so generously. We had about two and a half million

506
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 1: donated just online, and then two and a half million

507
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 1: were from the likes of the nod Coostla, Ray Dahlio

508
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 1: and from India Aspera, and it was amazing in the

509
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:17,959
Speaker 1: Aspera gave a million dollars, Ray gave a million dollars,

510
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 1: the Nordcostla gave a million dollars. And then we have

511
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 1: all of this collective two and a half million dollars

512
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 1: raised on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and social media. And we

513
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 1: had so many friends get involved. Shawn Mendes supported it.

514
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: We had Ellen de generous, Willow Smith, the Smith family

515
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 1: donated generously. Brendan Burchard came out very end and donated

516
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: so magnificently. Jamie kern Leema, the founder of it Cosmetics,

517
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 1: came right at the end and gave as well. Rohan Os.

518
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: I mean, the list goes on of people who just

519
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: gave with open hearts, and whether you gave one dollar,

520
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:58,239
Speaker 1: five dollars or a million dollars, it all added up

521
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 1: to hopefully affect at what I was told around two

522
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:06,200
Speaker 1: hundred to two hundred and fifty thousand lives. And so

523
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 1: I just want to thank you, but I also want

524
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 1: you to remember that if you really care about something,

525
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: if you really believe in something, if you're really focused

526
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,200
Speaker 1: on something, it's incredible what you can do in forty

527
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: eight hours if you really want to. Don't underestimate the time,

528
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 1: and don't underestimate yourself. Number nine, which I realized through

529
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 1: everyone I talked to, is consistency continues to bring the

530
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 1: greatest joy. People who've done something consistently are feeling more

531
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 1: joy than those who start something and stop something and

532
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 1: start something again. Spoke to John and Julie Gottman, who've

533
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 1: been researching marriage and relationships for decades, feeling very, very joyful.

534
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 1: Speaking to my monk teacher Garangadas, he's been a monk

535
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 1: now for maybe around thirty years, maybe just under thirty years.

536
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 1: Really joyful people who are able to do something again

537
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 1: and again and again. Doctor Robert Wardinger, who's an incredible,

538
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: incredible professor at Harvard. Again, he has been consistently looking

539
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: at studies around people's minds, hearts, lives, and how we

540
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: live joyful. What are you doing consistently that's changing your life.

541
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 1: I have my Genius Community. If you haven't heard of it,

542
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 1: you can check out jus dot com. It's my wellbeing

543
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 1: community and we have thousands of members from all over

544
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: the world across one hundred and forty countries, I believe,

545
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 1: and these thousands of members come together every single week

546
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 1: inside our well being community to grow, to learn, to

547
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: power up. So in the podcast, I give you the

548
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 1: insight and I give you the access to the guests

549
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: that we're working with. But Ingenius we actually coach people

550
00:31:55,920 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 1: through the five key areas of life, that being physical, mental, emotional, spiritual,

551
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: and financial health. And so when I've been doing that

552
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 1: every single year now for nearly four years, every Sunday,

553
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 1: and it has been phenomenal. We have an amazing book

554
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 1: club inside. It's just one of my favorite offerings that

555
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: we truly have. Check out jhdgis dot com if you

556
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 1: haven't already. The tenth and final one is experiences are

557
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 1: greater than things. My sister and I were reflecting back

558
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 1: on our favorite Christmases and it's amazing because none of

559
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 1: them did we remember a gift we received from our parents.

560
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 1: Every one of them we remembered an experience, a memory,

561
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: a moment, but never a gift. And even this year,

562
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 1: when I think about how I'll remember this year, I'll

563
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 1: think about the people I met, the unique experiences I had,

564
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 1: whether it was seeing friends perform live or launched their movies.

565
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 1: I remember going to watch our friend Camilla Cabello go

566
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 1: to launch Cinderella, which was so much fun to watch.

567
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 1: We got to travel with the Jonas brothers and see

568
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 1: them on tour thanks to Joe, Nick and Kevin, which

569
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: was so much fun as well. I had the greatest

570
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: honor and privilege this year to officiate the wedding of

571
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 1: Charlie McDowell and Lily Collins, and it was one of

572
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 1: the most meaningful, fulfilling experiences of my life. The preparation,

573
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 1: the reflection, the connection with their beautiful family and friends.

574
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 1: It was the most humbling experience this year. So when

575
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 1: you look back at this year when you're planning for

576
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 1: next year, plan experiences, plan those special connections with human

577
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 1: even travel trips they didn't go to plan. We went

578
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: on a few travel trips with my friends to Temecula,

579
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: Santa Barbara and they didn't go to plan. We didn't

580
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 1: really end up in the nicest place to stay. Our

581
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 1: travel was crazy, the weather was crazy, but we had

582
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 1: an amazing time. Those are the memories. Make more memories

583
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty two. Focus on making memories, capture them,

584
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 1: keep them in your heart, and make sure you come

585
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 1: back to On Purpose. I'm so grateful. I'm genuinely, so

586
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 1: so grateful to each and every one of you, and

587
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 1: I cannot wait to experience twenty twenty two together, to

588
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,479
Speaker 1: be on this journey with you, and I cannot wait

589
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 1: to meet you in person. If you see me on

590
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 1: the road, if you see me anywhere, come and say hello.

591
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 1: I love love love saying hello, So make sure you do.

592
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 1: And if you've been a listener of On Purpose for

593
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,879
Speaker 1: this year, it would mean the world to me if

594
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 1: you could go and leave a review on whichever platform

595
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 1: you listen on, Spotify, Apple, Stitcher, wherever you listen, please please,

596
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 1: please go and leave a review. It makes a huge

597
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: difference to a podcaster and I also love reading them.

598
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. He