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Speaker 1: Welcome to episode thirty five of Hurdle, a podcast that

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Speaker 1: talks to everyone from top CEOs to entrepreneurs about how

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Speaker 1: they got through tough times hurdles of sorts by leaning

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Speaker 1: into wellness. My name's emilya Body, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: in the new year, I should just take a quick

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Speaker 1: second to reintroduce myself. I'm a writer, editor, run coach,

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Speaker 1: and podcaster living here in New York City in a

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Speaker 1: fourth floor walk up apartment with closets big enough to

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Speaker 1: fit my cannondale. To hear more about me, check out

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Speaker 1: episode one, where I dish on my freshman year of

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Speaker 1: college hurdle moment that led to me losing seventy pounds

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Speaker 1: finding running in a career rooted in health and fitness.

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Speaker 2: Today, I'm chatting with the.

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Speaker 1: Lovely Ali Feller of The Ali on the Run Show podcast,

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Speaker 1: and before we get into her story, a quick shout

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Speaker 1: out to the sponsor of today's episode, Athletic Greens. If

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Speaker 1: there's one thing I've been encouraging everyone I know to

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Speaker 1: do in the new year, it's buck up and get

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Speaker 1: some of this screen Scotter. I shake it up every

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Speaker 1: single morning with about ten ounces of water in an

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Speaker 1: ice cube and it just makes me feel better throughout

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Speaker 1: my day. They're offering a special deal to Hurdle listeners

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Speaker 1: for twenty free travel packs. That's a ninety nine dollars

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Speaker 1: value with your first purchase. Just head on over to

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Speaker 1: Athleticgreens dot com slash hurdle to claim it. No code

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Speaker 1: necessary again, that's Athleticgreens dot com slash Hurdle. Now, let's

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Speaker 1: talk about Ali. Ever since she was a young girl,

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Speaker 1: she had her heart set on working in the publishing industry,

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Speaker 1: but not just any job in publishing. She wanted to

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Speaker 1: be editor in chief of Dance Spirit magazine, perfect for

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Speaker 1: someone who grew up on stage. By twenty five, yeah,

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Speaker 1: twenty five, she landed it. As editor in chief. She

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Speaker 1: was working crazy hours in endless meetings on set at

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Speaker 1: photoshoot after photoshoot, living that New York City grind life

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Speaker 1: I know oh so well myself. And around that same

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Speaker 1: time she fell in love with running, tackling her first marathon,

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Speaker 1: but soon the stress became too much. Battling Crone's dizzy,

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Speaker 1: Ali realized in her Hurdle moment that she needed to

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Speaker 1: step away from her dream job to get better and

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Speaker 1: rediscover her purpose. In today's episode, we talk all about

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Speaker 1: that transition, how Cron's has impacted her life, what it's

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Speaker 1: like to be a new mom to her beautiful baby

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Speaker 1: girl Annie, and commiserate over the self inflected pressures of

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Speaker 1: being your own boss. As always Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, hit

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Speaker 1: me up at Hurdle podcast at Emily Abadie. You guys

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Speaker 1: totally blew me away with all of your comments and

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Speaker 1: reshares and reposts after the one year anniversary episode, so

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Speaker 1: thanks so much for sharing. Keep on letting me know

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Speaker 1: what your favorite takeaways are from the episodes, posting them

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Speaker 1: in your Instagram story. I love reposting them from the

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Speaker 1: Hurdle feed. Special shout out to Cosmo for featuring Hurdle

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Speaker 1: as one of their podcasts that will help you keep

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Speaker 1: those New Year's resolutions. I was so stoked to wake

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Speaker 1: up to that Google alert this morning. And also another

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Speaker 1: housekeeping item, if you're in La La based listeners, I

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Speaker 1: am coming for you. I'm doing a live podcast event

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Speaker 1: at the Tory Sports Store on Rodeo Drive on January

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Speaker 1: fifteenth at seven pm. I'll be sitting down with Hurdler

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Speaker 1: y seven studio founder and CEO Sarah Larson Levy as

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Speaker 1: well as Michelle Hines from cycle House and I'd love

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Speaker 1: to see it there. You can find more details on

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Speaker 1: that over on the Hurdle website that's hurdle dot us.

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Speaker 1: The event link will be in the top rail until

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Speaker 1: the event on the fifteenth. And with that said, I'm

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Speaker 1: coming for you West Coast. So if you know that

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Speaker 1: someone I should be sitting down with a studio, I

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Speaker 1: should try things. I should eat smoothies, I should drink,

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Speaker 1: hit me up. Send me all your suggestions over to

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Speaker 1: Emily at hurdle dot us.

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Speaker 3: I'd love to hear from you.

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Speaker 1: And that's it. With that, let's get to hurdling. I'm

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Speaker 1: sitting here with Ali Feller. She's the host of the

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Speaker 1: Ali on the Run Show podcast and also a fellow

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Speaker 1: freelance writer hi Z Twinsy's This is Awesome. I sat

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Speaker 1: down with Ali for her pod. It must have been

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Speaker 1: about two months ago.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 3: It was warm. I remember I was sweating on my

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Speaker 3: way there.

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Speaker 2: I was pregnant.

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Speaker 3: You were pregnant, not anymore now you have a baby.

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Speaker 3: Now you have a baby, and and so we figured

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Speaker 3: it was about time we just do this again. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: like the script every other every other month, we're just

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Speaker 3: gonna have to get together and record something. Don't tease

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Speaker 3: me around New York City in some capacity.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have you here. What people ask

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Speaker 1: me all the time, They're like, so you're a freelance writer, Like,

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Speaker 1: what's that even mean? So why don't we start this

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Speaker 1: off by you telling me a little bit about what

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Speaker 1: you're doing now aside from hanging with the babe.

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Speaker 2: Hanging with the babe, I am doing that. I would

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Speaker 2: say all waking hours, but currently almost every hour is

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Speaker 2: a waking hour. It's funny that you mentioned people say

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Speaker 2: freelance writer, what is that? Because I feel like people

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Speaker 2: definitely say that about being a podcast host too. And

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Speaker 2: I started out so opposite, Like I grew up with

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Speaker 2: a very specific plan and title in mind, like I

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Speaker 2: was going to be an editor in chief of a magazine.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know freelancing was a thing. I remember having

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Speaker 2: a coworker at Dance Spirit who was like, yeah, like

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Speaker 2: my dream would be to be a freelance writer and

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Speaker 2: write about like health and fitness, and at the time,

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Speaker 2: like running was still something that sounded terrible to me.

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Speaker 2: I was a dancer growing up, so there was no way.

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Speaker 2: I was like Health and Fitness, Like who would read

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Speaker 2: that crap? So I am a freelance writer. I write

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Speaker 2: about health and fitness. Flash forward, Dance.

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Speaker 3: Spirit is the magazine that you were.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Dance Spirit was my baby for before my actual baby.

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Speaker 2: I've had, you know, many little babies now in terms

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Speaker 2: of the Alley on the Run show and lots of

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Speaker 2: fun stuff. But yeah, right now, freelance writer, mostly health

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Speaker 2: and fitness, Women's Health, Well and Good, all of the

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Speaker 2: names that you know very well, and hosting the Alley

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Speaker 2: on the Run show, which that started as a blog

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Speaker 2: in twenty ten. And I got to the point where

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Speaker 2: I was like, you know, writing is fun, but I

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Speaker 2: want to talk to people. Like I have this ridiculous

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Speaker 2: curiosity where if I'm standing on the sidewalk waiting across

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Speaker 2: the street, I'm like looking around and I'm looking for

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Speaker 2: a friendly face because I want to be like, how

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Speaker 2: did you get to this crosswalk? Like what decisions in

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Speaker 2: your life led you here? And where are you going?

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Speaker 2: And what's next? And what's your family? Like I just

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Speaker 2: want to know everything about everyone, and you know, journalism

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Speaker 2: is part of that. But I sort of got to

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Speaker 2: the point and I'm obviously skipping a lot of steps here,

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Speaker 2: but I got to the point in writing where I

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Speaker 2: was doing a lot more like ten Ways to Have

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Speaker 2: Your Best Day Ever and a lot less storytelling.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I.

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Speaker 2: Wanted to do that on my own. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's why there's such a beauty and

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Speaker 1: going freelance is that ideally, if you do it for

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Speaker 1: long enough and you work with the right people, that

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Speaker 1: you get the opportunity to choose more of the stories

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Speaker 1: that you want to write. Right with that said, I

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Speaker 1: still feel like there's always that, you know, twelve Squats

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Speaker 1: to build your booty or whatever, absolutely awful title.

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Speaker 2: Yep. And I'm still at the point where, like, I

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Speaker 2: don't turn a lot of them down, like work is

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Speaker 2: great work, you know. I like, I'm not gonna lie

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Speaker 2: to you. I like to have money. I think it's

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Speaker 2: a wonderful thing. I'm willing to work for it. And

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Speaker 2: if that means sometimes writing about squats for the fiftieth time, okay,

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Speaker 2: I'll do it. That's not to say that's all what

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Speaker 2: it is. I have definitely evolved to a point where

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Speaker 2: I am more selective with what I'm writing. I care

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Speaker 2: about my byline a lot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think when I first started freelancing, I was very

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Speaker 2: much in the camp of the more the merrier, and

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Speaker 2: that led to me seeing my name on some things

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Speaker 2: that I wasn't super proud of. Like I noticed, I

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Speaker 2: went from a point to sharing everything I was writing

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Speaker 2: because I was so excited, like, we're just gonna kind

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Speaker 2: of skirt that one under the rug here, And I

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Speaker 2: don't want to do that now. I'm I think I'm

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Speaker 2: too smart to do that. I'm too seasoned to do that.

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Speaker 2: I don't need to do that.

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Speaker 3: I love the word season Yeah, and I how going.

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Speaker 2: To use that more. I honestly think that's the first

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Speaker 2: time I've ever said it, But yeah.

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Speaker 3: I love it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So you didn't just become a freelance journalist overnight.

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Speaker 1: Obviously you mentioned a history of sorts in house at

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Speaker 1: different publications.

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Speaker 3: So why don't we rewind it back?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, bring it back to maybe when you were graduating

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Speaker 1: from Quinnipiac.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know you're originally from New Hampshire.

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Speaker 2: Yep. I grew up in New Hampshire. I was a dancer.

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Speaker 2: Running was the punishment. So in no way, like I said,

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Speaker 2: health and fitness not a part of my life. Growing up.

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Speaker 2: My mom went to aerobics classes and I would watch.

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Speaker 2: I can very much remember her. She still goes to

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Speaker 2: step Aerobics Power Tour. I danced, I mean that was

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Speaker 2: my jam. Like I was the girl who didn't go

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Speaker 2: out on Friday nights because I can't I have dance.

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Speaker 2: It was like a T shirt we had made. And

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Speaker 2: I was a competitive dancer. It was my life. And

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Speaker 2: if you were a competitive dancer, you read Dance Spirit magazine.

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Speaker 2: It was you know, I don't know if you can

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Speaker 2: believe this. There not a ton of dance publications at

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Speaker 2: the time.

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Speaker 3: Such a crazy god, so weird.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't a super competitive field. So the word.

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Speaker 1: The words Dance Spirit Magazine and just instantly make me

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Speaker 1: think of like Sarah Jessica Parker and girls just want

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Speaker 1: to have fun. Oh, totally big eighties dancing hair, sweatbands, neon.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely yeah. And then it evolved into like center stage

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Speaker 2: and step up and you know, like cool, really cool.

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Speaker 3: I dance when I was younger. It's something I don't

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Speaker 3: talk about on the pod.

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Speaker 2: Well, next time, since we're doing this every month, that's

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Speaker 2: going to be our nice conversation. The bomb drop.

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Speaker 3: This is the bomb drop I used to teach hip

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Speaker 3: hop when I was younger.

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Speaker 2: Fun fact, this is why see, this is why podcasting

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Speaker 2: does no justice. This should be a video where you're

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Speaker 2: teaching me a hip hop combination and we're just breaking

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Speaker 2: it down. Monday at nine am.

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Speaker 3: I taught it at a summer camp for a few years,

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Speaker 3: and then I taught it in college, and then I

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Speaker 3: feel like the older I got, I kind of stopped

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Speaker 3: doing it as much aside for obvious recreational dancing like

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Speaker 3: the Lower East Side. At one I am and so

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Speaker 3: I went to a Broadway Dance Center class when I

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Speaker 3: got to New York, and it was such one of

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Speaker 3: those center stage moments and you walk in You're like, wow,

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Speaker 3: I am nothing compared to I know it was really special,

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Speaker 3: but I was awful comparatively. So that's that was just

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Speaker 3: the end of my Yeah, I wrote Anyway Dance Spirit magazine, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: Saradessca Parker of Reincarnated.

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Speaker 2: So I read it, was obsessed, loved the magazine and

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Speaker 2: I loved writing. So I never had that moment of

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Speaker 2: sitting down and saying, like what do I want to be?

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Speaker 2: When I grew up, my mom loves to tell the

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Speaker 2: story that when I was very young and people would

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Speaker 2: ask what I wanted to be, I wanted to be

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Speaker 2: a flying horse. Really specific. Yeah, not a unicorn, a

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Speaker 2: flying horse. So I feel like I still have time

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Speaker 2: on that dream. But then once I was sixteen, I knew.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I want to be the editor of

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Speaker 2: Dance Spirit magazine period. YEP. I was like, this is

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Speaker 2: my plan. I never wanted to be a professional dancer.

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Speaker 2: I knew I wasn't good enough. I think I could

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Speaker 2: have been a great rock because I was very precision based,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't have the height.

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Speaker 3: What kind of dances were were talking about?

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Speaker 2: I was tap, jazz, ballet, all of it. Tap was

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Speaker 2: my favorite. Tapa.

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Speaker 1: It's impressive, Yeah, Like you have to have such mobility

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Speaker 1: in the ankle.

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Speaker 3: It's just it's just never.

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Speaker 2: I still have multiple pairs of tap shoes in our apartment.

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Speaker 2: Every time my husband and I have moved, he's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: so these are still coming. We're still making room for

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Speaker 2: these great so yeah, I mean, my dream was very specific.

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Speaker 2: There was no questioning. I went to college majored in

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Speaker 2: print journalism, which again specific, and there was no figuring

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Speaker 2: it out for me. I had it figured out and

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Speaker 2: that was the plan. And so I when I was

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Speaker 2: a junior in college going into my senior year, we

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Speaker 2: needed to complete an internship pertaining to our major. And

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Speaker 2: I hate to date myself. I mean, I'm not old.

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Speaker 2: I'm thirty three. I don't think that's that old. But uh,

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Speaker 2: that was really before websites were where they are now.

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Speaker 2: And there, you know, I couldn't follow the editors on Twitter.

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Speaker 2: There was no such thing. So I picked up the magazine.

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Speaker 2: I went to the masthead. I found the phone number,

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Speaker 2: which of course was for subscriptions, called it and said,

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Speaker 2: I want to intern for you. They transferred me to someone.

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Speaker 2: She ended up being in sales, but she was super

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Speaker 2: nice and was like, yeah, let me connect you with

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Speaker 2: the right people. She connected me, I interviewed, and I

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Speaker 2: got hired as an editorial intern. I love that, you

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Speaker 2: know what I love about that?

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Speaker 1: I think that's so often people are always saying it's

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Speaker 1: all about connections, or you need to know this person

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Speaker 1: or that person. Yes, connections are a valuable thing. But

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Speaker 1: even when I reflect back to my experience interning at Fitness,

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Speaker 1: I did the same thing back in the day. Got

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Speaker 1: the magazine, opened it up, looked at the masthead, and

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Speaker 1: just started blindly emailing in the format I thought it would.

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Speaker 2: Be, yeah, like six paragraphs, because that's what your college says,

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Speaker 2: like paragraph one is your introduction, paragraph two is your resident,

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Speaker 2: paragraph three is why you're a fit. Now, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: if someone sends me a three paragraph email.

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Speaker 1: Blest time, I will say that, and then it's like

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Speaker 1: first name dot last name at company dot com, and

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Speaker 1: you're like, well, I hope this doesn't get it bounce back.

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Speaker 3: And sometimes it gets a bounced back and should be

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Speaker 3: an underscore. Should have been an underscore. But I admire

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Speaker 3: your passion education to finding someone there and blessed the salesperson.

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Speaker 2: So I have to say, and I don't remember who

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Speaker 2: she was. I feel like I never met her when

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Speaker 2: I worked there, But she could have so easily not

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Speaker 2: passed it along. And I think that's also speaks to

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Speaker 2: it being a smaller company. She wasn't getting forty five

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Speaker 2: of those requests a day, so yeah, she sent it

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Speaker 2: to the right people. The amazing thing is that the

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Speaker 2: women for whom I interned as a small team, they

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Speaker 2: were so good to me. They gave me lots of opportunities.

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Speaker 2: I spent the summer commuting, and keep in mind I

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Speaker 2: interned for free, or what I should say is I

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Speaker 2: basically paid to be an intern. I did the same

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Speaker 2: thing I was living in Connecticut. I was commuting via

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Speaker 2: Metro North. The train tickets were expensive from Hamden from

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Speaker 2: Hamton YEP from Hampting.

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Speaker 1: To drive from Hampden to new Haven and then to

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Speaker 1: the train from you know what, I did the two

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Speaker 1: hour door to door from Milford, which is only a

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Speaker 1: spitch closer, so I can relate that I sucked.

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Speaker 2: I ended up spending It was almost three hours door

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Speaker 2: to door. Yeah, by the time I drove, parked, walked

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Speaker 2: down the platform, you know, just all the little steps,

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Speaker 2: and the office was all the way downtown. So even

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Speaker 2: once I got to Grand Central, I was then commuting

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Speaker 2: all the way to Fulton Street. So, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I didn't care. I loved it so much. I was

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Speaker 2: so energized. My body got conditioned really fast to fall

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Speaker 2: asleep as soon as I sat on the train and

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Speaker 2: wake up as we were pulling into the tunnel at

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Speaker 2: Grand Central. So my body was very smart. But the

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Speaker 2: internship was everything that I hoped it would be. They

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Speaker 2: loved because it was a teen magazine. They loved that

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Speaker 2: I was just a little bit younger than them, and

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Speaker 2: so I was really still in that world. And I

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Speaker 2: wrote all the quizzes in the magazine, which I loved.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, it was super fun and I was I

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Speaker 2: was constantly asking to do stuff. And I'll be honest,

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Speaker 2: I wish I were more like twenty two year old

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Speaker 2: Ali sometimes because I had no shame, Like I basically

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Speaker 2: walked in there, said what I was good at, said

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Speaker 2: what I wanted to do. I spoke up in meetings.

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Speaker 2: I asked to go to every meeting. Now I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: people hate meetings, which I remember them thinking it was weird,

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Speaker 2: but I said, I was like, I want to learn everything.

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Speaker 2: I went to sales meetings. I went to meetings with

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Speaker 2: all of the vps at the company, and they just

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Speaker 2: let me sit in and I learned and I just

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Speaker 2: soaked it all up because I thought it was so interesting.

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Speaker 2: And to be honest, Quinnipiac was great. Everything that I

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Speaker 2: learned about working I learned interning and by asking questions.

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Speaker 2: And you know, my professors were great, my my education

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Speaker 2: was great, but interning is what got me prepared to

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Speaker 2: work in the actual world and asking all those questions.

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Speaker 2: And I wish I did more of that now, Like

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Speaker 2: I wish I were a little bit gutsier like I

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Speaker 2: was back then, because I wasn't constantly thinking, oh, well,

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Speaker 2: what if this and what if? And I just I

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Speaker 2: was so wonderfully naive in the best way. I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I think you're downplaying your gutsiness. Well maybe now, I see,

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Speaker 2: I disagree. I feel like so when I think about

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Speaker 2: podcasting and asking people to do things that obviously they

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Speaker 2: benefit your audience as a whole, but in the moment,

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Speaker 2: it feels like maybe they're only benefiting you. You're like,

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Speaker 2: please come spend an hour of your time, and I'm

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Speaker 2: probably not going to compensate you for any of this,

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Speaker 2: and it would be really great if you could just

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Speaker 2: talk to me and to make that ask a lot,

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Speaker 2: and we'll obviously get more into like how you started

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Speaker 2: the podcast and things like that, but to make that

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Speaker 2: ask is gutsy. See I see it. It's funny you

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Speaker 2: say gutsy, and I like that, and I should use

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Speaker 2: that because I have always seen it as selfish. Anytime

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Speaker 2: someone asks me like why did you start a podcast?

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Speaker 2: I say, I'm like, it's selfish. I want to talk

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Speaker 2: to cool people and having a podcast gives me the

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Speaker 2: opportunity to do that. I love that, I share. I

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Speaker 2: love I mean the Alley on the Run community has

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Speaker 2: gotten me through the absolute worst days of my life

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Speaker 2: and we can talk about that more. But it's totally selfish. Yeah, Like,

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Speaker 2: why else would I get to call professional runners and

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Speaker 2: say hey, can I talk to you for an hour?

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Speaker 2: And they'll say yes. If I'm just you know, some

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Speaker 2: person on Twitter saying hey, I want to call you.

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Speaker 2: They're not going to say yes to that, but having

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Speaker 2: an outlet to do so, and of course it serves

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Speaker 2: more than just me, but I have no problem admitting that. Like,

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Speaker 2: my curiosity and my obsession with learning about people is

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Speaker 2: what drives me to do that.

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Speaker 3: I think it's awesome.

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Speaker 1: So you're sitting on all these meetings, yeah, and you're

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Speaker 1: talking to the salespeople. Yeah, and everyone's like, what does

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Speaker 1: this girl do? Because she's in every department.

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Speaker 2: Like is she not? Does she need more work? Why

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Speaker 2: is she in every meeting? It served me so well, Yeah,

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00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,960
Speaker 2: thing leads to another exactly. So I finished the internship

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Speaker 2: and I still had to complete my senior year, so

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Speaker 2: and I couldn't intern while I was finishing school. It

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Speaker 2: was very busy. So I went back to school and

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Speaker 2: I told them, hey, I'd like to keep writing for

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Speaker 2: you while I'm at school, and so they would send me.

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Speaker 2: I think I probably did like four assignments total. They

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Speaker 2: were little Q and as with Broadway stars, I did

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Speaker 2: like the Broadway Q and a page. They paid me

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Speaker 2: seventy five dollars because you know in.

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Speaker 3: Book, Oh yeah, oh that's a nice rate.

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Speaker 2: I was a college kid. I was like, that's like

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Speaker 2: forty five drinks at the local bar.

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Speaker 3: I mean seventy five dollars. We had Nickel night. That's

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Speaker 3: like drinks for.

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Speaker 2: The entire university exactly. And I worked at the cool

387
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Speaker 2: college bar. So it was like perfect. I was fine.

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Speaker 2: Uh so, yeah, I wrote a couple of things to them,

389
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Speaker 2: but I very much stayed in touch. I kept in

390
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Speaker 2: touch with them, and I said, I was like, I

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Speaker 2: want to work for you. It was no secret that

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Speaker 2: my internship was not a one and done then I'm

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Speaker 2: moving on things. So yeah, Literally the week I graduated,

394
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Speaker 2: I emailed the team that I worked with. I said, hey,

395
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Speaker 2: I graduated, I'm free in that time, they had been

396
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Speaker 2: sold to a different company, so there was a lot

397
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,440
Speaker 2: of change going on there. It was a little crazy.

398
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Speaker 2: It was a tough time to get hired in general.

399
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Speaker 2: Two thousand and seven was kind of the last year

400
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Speaker 2: that it was possible to get a job. I feel like,

401
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Speaker 2: I think that we're different in that I had like

402
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Speaker 2: the last year that people were getting hired and were optimistic,

403
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,600
Speaker 2: and then it was like with the crash and the

404
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,160
Speaker 2: economy and everything that went on. But I was fortunate

405
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:38,200
Speaker 2: that my timing wasn't too terrible. And I actually interviewed

406
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 2: for two other positions at the company before I got hired,

407
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Speaker 2: and they both weren't a good fit, and I think

408
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Speaker 2: we all knew that, so it was great that they

409
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Speaker 2: considered me. But one was a job at Dance Teacher

410
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Speaker 2: Magazine and I didn't want that. And the other was

411
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Speaker 2: at Dance Retailer News, which is the great title, yeah,

412
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Speaker 2: which is their B to B publication for people who

413
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Speaker 2: own dance stores. But I wanted Dance Spirit. Uh. They

414
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Speaker 2: also published American Cheerleader, which I wasn't a cheerleader, but

415
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Speaker 2: I loved I've always loved teens. I think it's just

416
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 2: there's the best age love writing for teenagers. I love

417
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Speaker 2: just everything about it. And so by September of that year,

418
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Speaker 2: I graduated in May. By September of that year, the

419
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 2: one of the vice presidents called me and she said,

420
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Speaker 2: we are creating a new position and we want to

421
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Speaker 2: talk to you about it. It was a web editor

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00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,960
Speaker 2: job because they were like, you know, what we think

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Speaker 2: is going to stick around the internet the Internet. We

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Speaker 2: think we should have a website that isn't just click

425
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Speaker 2: here to subscribe or whatever. And so it wasn't just

426
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Speaker 2: on Dance Spirit, it was on every magazine they owned.

427
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Speaker 2: So I was a one person. I was the web

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Speaker 2: editor for Dance Spirit, Dance Teacher, Dance Magazine, Dance Retailer, News,

429
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:51,120
Speaker 2: American Cheerleader, and Point Magazine. Point Yes, Point is beautiful,

430
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,600
Speaker 2: lots of pretty picture at Point. So they brought me

431
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Speaker 2: in and they said, all right, you're the web editor.

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Speaker 2: Figure it out.

433
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

434
00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 2: And the first thing I did there is I said, well,

435
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,440
Speaker 2: were dance magazines doing photoshoots? Why are we not putting

436
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 2: videos on our website. Why isn't anyone getting video of

437
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 2: these pretty dancers at these pretty photoshoots? So I had

438
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:14,400
Speaker 2: taken one video class in college, YEP, and I convinced

439
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 2: them to get a little, tiny handheld camera. And I

440
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 2: went to every photoshoot every magazine did, and I shot

441
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,439
Speaker 2: behind the scenes videos. I edited them an iMovie, and

442
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 2: I learned how to upload them to the websites that

443
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,439
Speaker 2: barely existed. And I just I look back on what

444
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,439
Speaker 2: I did, and I'm like, hey, I must have been

445
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:36,719
Speaker 2: very well rested, like I was working so hard and

446
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,680
Speaker 2: I loved it so much, and I just I don't

447
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:43,439
Speaker 2: remember being stressed. I don't remember worrying about consequences and

448
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 2: worrying about like what if I just went for it.

449
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 3: After you graduated, you move into New York.

450
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,959
Speaker 2: Not until three months in. I didn't move to New

451
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,399
Speaker 2: York until December. So were you living in I lived

452
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 2: in Cheshire, Connecticut, which is even further than Hampden, Connecticut.

453
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 2: So that commute was three hour to door. Because the

454
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 2: drive from I had to take the train from New Haven,

455
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,880
Speaker 2: and that's quite a bit of a drive from Cheshire.

456
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 2: But I was dating a boy who was quite a

457
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,120
Speaker 2: bit older, had a house in Cheshire that I could

458
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 2: live in for free while I figured out if I

459
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,439
Speaker 2: wanted to be in New York and I knew I

460
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 2: wanted to and he he's not listening to this, probably,

461
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 2: so it's fine. He was crazy, like I now can

462
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 2: very much say, he was emotionally abusive, not physically, but

463
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:32,439
Speaker 2: emotionally pretty crazy and very intense. And I was not

464
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,920
Speaker 2: given the option to move to New York. I finally

465
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 2: loved my job a lot more than I loved him,

466
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,920
Speaker 2: and said I'm moving and whatever happens with this relationship.

467
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 2: We actually stayed together for a couple months and that

468
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 2: was rough, but I was so happy. I mean, I

469
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 2: knew me and was where I wanted to be, and

470
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 2: I did. I found an apartment on Craigslist with I

471
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 2: moved in with three other young professionals, one of whom

472
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,200
Speaker 2: i'm still like best friends with. So worked out great.

473
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 2: Craigslist is not totally scary. I had a great experience

474
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 2: on Gregor's when I moved in. I walked in and

475
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,119
Speaker 2: I remember it was a flex two bedroom, so I.

476
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 3: Don't know, I love that flex one bedroom. It's a

477
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 3: one bedroom that's turned into a two bedroom. And I

478
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 3: remember walking in and it was like, that's Sarah Jessica

479
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 3: Parker moment, except in her moment that it's actually heaven.

480
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 3: But I walk in and I'm like, this is real

481
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 3: estate heaven. Like it's beautiful on the side. Yeah, you

482
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 3: have like anthropology, like the lamps in the corner.

483
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:30,879
Speaker 1: And I remember moving in and it was the same thing.

484
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: I was also in a relationship at the time. The

485
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: man was wonderful. He is wonderful, but I had a

486
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 1: calling to New York that we couldn't deny. And we

487
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,239
Speaker 1: also stayed together for a couple of months and then

488
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 1: I was like, I think we both got to spread

489
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 1: our wings here.

490
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's what happens.

491
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: I mean that the magic of the city is great

492
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 1: and it's electric and you get here and oh God,

493
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 1: please tell me you can relate. When I arrived and

494
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: I suddenly had four hours of my day back because

495
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 1: you had six hours of your day back from commutings.

496
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 2: When I started working out seeing, yeah, same because I

497
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 2: was like, oh my gosh, look at this time before

498
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 2: I was waking up at five am to get to

499
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:08,360
Speaker 2: work by nine forty yep, which also was later than

500
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 2: I wanted. And so yeah, I definitely just freed up

501
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 2: my life and it was so energizing being here, and

502
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,360
Speaker 2: I love New York. That was another thing that growing up,

503
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 2: I think I'd only been to New York City like twice.

504
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 2: I knew, I knew this is where I was going

505
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 2: to be. I knew this is where if I wanted

506
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 2: to be in publishing, I had to be. And it

507
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,199
Speaker 2: was everything I wanted, and the job was everything I wanted.

508
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 2: I got to really, I was given a lot of

509
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 2: opportunity and freedom, but I still I said, I want

510
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 2: to be at every meeting. I actually became very close

511
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 2: with the entire sales team because they were all like young,

512
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 2: fun women who went out, whereas the dance editors at

513
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,120
Speaker 2: the time were kind of like they were very into

514
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 2: like the modern dance scene, and that wasn't really my

515
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 2: jam I was. I've always been more like Broadway commercial dance,

516
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 2: and so that was what all the sales girls were into.

517
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 2: We would go see the rockets in Broadway. I actually

518
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,239
Speaker 2: one of the best perks of working there was just

519
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,920
Speaker 2: free shows every night. Every night I was on Broadway,

520
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 2: I was at the Ballet. I saw everything for free,

521
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 2: so it was very spoiled. And I remember my boyfriend

522
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 2: from Cheshure, he came down one night and I had

523
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 2: tickets to the Lion King, and so I was like, yeah,

524
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 2: let's go to the Lion King, knowing this is the

525
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 2: last day of our relationship. So I took him to

526
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 2: the Lion King and then after I was like, I'm

527
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 2: breaking up with you and he was like, Okay, can

528
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 2: I still spend the night. I don't want to drive

529
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:37,400
Speaker 2: home and I was like no, and then it was.

530
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 3: Like talk about gutsy.

531
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I took it to see the Lion King

532
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 2: for free, like you're welcome. It's a fantastic show, amazing sets,

533
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 2: great soundtrack. So really I did us all a favor

534
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 2: and then you know, I got to spread my wings

535
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,199
Speaker 2: and fly. But really, I mean I was gutsy at

536
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 2: that job. I loved it. I knew I was exactly

537
00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 2: where I needed to be, and I look back and

538
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 2: I know that being as curious as I was asking

539
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 2: to be at those meetings is what led the company.

540
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 2: By the time I was twenty five, I got pulled

541
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 2: into a meeting with the president, the vice president, and

542
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 2: the current editor in chief of Dance Spirit and they said,

543
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 2: you're our next editor in chief. I was twenty five,

544
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 2: and obviously, I will say that is too young to

545
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 2: be an editor in chief. I was not prepared. I

546
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 2: look back and I'm like, wow, I was thrown to

547
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 2: the wolves. But it was really cool, and it was

548
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,639
Speaker 2: the timing. The editor in chief at the time was

549
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 2: getting ready to leave, and I think they looked around

550
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,159
Speaker 2: and said, we could find an outside hire, or we

551
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 2: can hire this girl here who has a lot of enthusiasm,

552
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,719
Speaker 2: who knows our readers, who is obsessed with this brand,

553
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 2: and let's see what she can do. And so it

554
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 2: was a blessing and a curse. I think that obviously

555
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 2: getting my dream job by the time I was twenty

556
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 2: five is really cool. It's also like, oh, I have

557
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 2: my dream job and I'm twenty five. I fast forward,

558
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 2: I'm twenty seven. I'm already thinking about my next dream.

559
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 2: So it was weird. It was amazing. I had so

560
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 2: much fun. I met all of the best dancers on

561
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 2: the planet. I traveled all over doing photo shoots with them.

562
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 2: I learned everything about putting a magazine together. It wasn't

563
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 2: like we had a team of thirty doing it. We

564
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 2: had a team of six that includes the art director.

565
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 2: So we were scrappy and we got it done and

566
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 2: I'm still close. I worked with a woman who is

567
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 2: now my best friend. She was in my wedding. The

568
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,679
Speaker 2: photographer we used in all of our photo shoots was

569
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:43,160
Speaker 2: my wedding photographer. A lot of really meaningful relationships came

570
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 2: out of it, a lot of great experience. But I

571
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: found that when I set a dream at sixteen and

572
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 2: made it happen by the time I was twenty five,

573
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 2: it was like it wasn't like, Okay, now I met

574
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 2: the dream crush it. It was like, oh, I got

575
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 2: to my dream. That's it.

576
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 3: Yeah.

577
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 2: And that's not to say it wasn't wonderful, but it

578
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 2: was scary to me. Yeah, that I was so young

579
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,639
Speaker 2: and I had to figure out my next dream and

580
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 2: I had never even considered doing anything else.

581
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 1: Right, And I think it was really special. Also in

582
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,399
Speaker 1: this instance is that at sixteen you started saying the

583
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,399
Speaker 1: words out loud. I want to be the end in

584
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: chief of this magazine.

585
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,879
Speaker 3: And that goes back to this conversation that a lot

586
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 3: of us have about affirmations and should we be saying

587
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 3: things out loud, should we be writing things down? Should

588
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 3: I put post it notes on my mirror.

589
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 1: I know Robin Arzan who's on the podcast, she has

590
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: a ton of post its everywhere around her house that

591
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: she just says them to herself every single morning. But

592
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 1: I just think that I've been thinking a lot about

593
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: this idea of affirmations lately and just how powerful they

594
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: can be, and that if you will it, then maybe

595
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: there's a way it's going to work out.

596
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I had to start doing that last year.

597
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 2: I went through a phase last year where I was

598
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 2: very depressed and I was having a really hard time,

599
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 2: and I had to kind of pull the fake it

600
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 2: till you make it thing, and so every morning I

601
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 2: would write down, like, not an overly peppy message, but

602
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 2: just something that I knew I needed to hear that day.

603
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 2: And so I started writing down every morning what's the

604
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 2: worst that can happen? And I did that for about

605
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 2: two weeks.

606
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 3: Wait that sentence or literally you were writing down the

607
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 3: worst thing that could happen?

608
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, I wrote down.

609
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 3: I'm like, does that actually sound?

610
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 2: That would be horrible? No. I wrote what's the worst

611
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,040
Speaker 2: that can happen? Like go for what you want? What's

612
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 2: the worst? And then I changed it and I said

613
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 2: what's the best that can happen? Because I was like

614
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:43,960
Speaker 2: thinking about the worst that can happen is going to

615
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 2: hold me back? Why am I not tweet? And that

616
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 2: little language tweak was like, set me free. It's the best, Yeah,

617
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 2: and so I still do that.

618
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 1: I went through a phase about two years ago where

619
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: I committed to using a gratitude journal and every morning

620
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: when I woke up, I would write three different things

621
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 1: in there that were good things that happened over the

622
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,479
Speaker 1: last twenty four hours. And I was really diligent with

623
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: it for about eight months. I stopped being diligent with

624
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: it after this is over a year ago now. I

625
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 1: got out of my last relationship and I realized that

626
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: picking up the journal that had good things from that

627
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 1: time in my life just didn't make me feel awesome.

628
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 1: So I committed in advanced for twenty nineteen. I have

629
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: this specific type of notebook I like to buy, and

630
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,719
Speaker 1: it's on my list to buy it this week, and

631
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 1: come twenty nineteen, I'm going to start doing that again,

632
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 1: because I felt like the gratitude journal was really a

633
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: great way to help me hone in on the things

634
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 1: that are important. And if I had a problem writing

635
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 1: down something that was really great, I asked myself why,

636
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: Like what did I do yesterday? That wasn't true to

637
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 1: who I am or why can I not find joy

638
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 1: in what I'm doing? And if I can't find joy

639
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 1: and what I'm doing, then what's the purpose of doing anything?

640
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 3: Anyway?

641
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 2: How am I filling my time?

642
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 3: Exactly?

643
00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 1: Not so twenty nineteen goal for me, get back to

644
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 1: the gratitude journal. I like your approach though.

645
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well I kept a list for two years almost

646
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 2: two years as well, so it probably started around the

647
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 2: same time, and it was three things I did well today, Yes,

648
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 2: because I was low at the time and I had

649
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 2: to come up with three somedays I had twelve some

650
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 2: days my three were woke up, thought about showering, almost

651
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 2: took out the trash like so so rough tried a

652
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 2: new dry shampoo, yeah, or like thought about ordering something

653
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 2: on Amazon, like didn't actually do it. Uh. And I

654
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 2: did that every single day until the day Annie was born,

655
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 2: and then it was like, I don't know where the

656
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 2: journal is somewhere like I'm going to do things well.

657
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 2: It got to the point where having to spend the

658
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 2: time writing it down was stressful for me, and so

659
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't need to do this anymore.

660
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 2: But it served me really well for a long time,

661
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 2: and it did. It made me find appreciation in little things,

662
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 2: big things. It just made me celebrate myself a lot more.

663
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: I kind of feel like gratitude can be viewed like animiotics.

664
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: It's like, when you are going through some things, you

665
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: take the time to make space for it, and again

666
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: you and I both writing down things that either revalue

667
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 1: or that make us better. And then it's like you

668
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: feel like maybe you're a little bit out of the hole,

669
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: and you're like, I'm all set with this. But that's

670
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 1: I think maybe also part of the twenty nineteen goals

671
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: is to not just be all set with it, like

672
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 1: making gratitude and maybe afirmations or whatever else the case

673
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: may be a part of the routine that doesn't go

674
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 1: by the wayside when other things get show up.

675
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 2: Totally.

676
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 3: All right, let's work on that together.

677
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, So you're editor in chief of this dance

678
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: magazine and despite having everything you ever dreamed of, you're

679
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: just not the happiest.

680
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, so let's talk about them.

681
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I skirt around this issue all the time

682
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 2: because I try to be very piecy about it. The

683
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 2: reality is I got the job, I loved the job,

684
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 2: hated the company, you know, I think for so long

685
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 2: it was like, oh, you can't say that, you can

686
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 2: only be positive. Like if you're ever in a job interview,

687
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 2: you can't say why you left your job because they'll

688
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 2: think you're bad. And I get it. But the reality

689
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 2: was the company was not in a great place. The

690
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 2: books were getting smaller. There wasn't a lot of spending money,

691
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 2: which is fine. The pay was terrible. Again, I don't

692
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 2: think I'm not bad nothing anyone by saying that.

693
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 3: Now.

694
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 2: I still freelance for all those magazines I left on

695
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 2: fine terms. I absolutely love them. I will love Dance

696
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 2: Spirit until the day that I die. It's a job

697
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 2: I'm very proud to have had. But it was tough.

698
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 2: It was tough putting out. Once the website really picked up,

699
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 2: I was overseeing that as well, and we had a

700
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 2: team of five people and to do a monthly print

701
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 2: magazine and a website where we were up trying to

702
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 2: update with dance news constantly, and you'd be surprised there's

703
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 2: a decent amount of dance news, and it was a lot,

704
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 2: and I was very sick. So it was kind of twofold.

705
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 2: My reasons for leaving one is that I wasn't happy

706
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 2: at the company anymore. Management was in a tough place.

707
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 2: I mentioned that it was a blessing in disguise to

708
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 2: be so young. It was a blessing, and that I

709
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 2: was so young getting this amazing experience and really being

710
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 2: forced to learn as much as I could, or I

711
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 2: should have said blessing in a curse. It was a blessing,

712
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,359
Speaker 2: and it was a curse in that I wasn't as

713
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 2: respected as the older editors at the other publications. Right,

714
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 2: It's kind of like, oh, like people on my staff

715
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 2: would be given raises and I wasn't the one telling them. Like,

716
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,760
Speaker 2: I wasn't really given full reign. I didn't have power

717
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,279
Speaker 2: to hire or fire without going to someone above me.

718
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 2: So it was tough. Yeah, and I wasn't happy. And

719
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 2: that was when I started to get more into health

720
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 2: and fitness, and I was very sick. I have crone disease,

721
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 2: was diagnosed when I was seven growing up. Crones is

722
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 2: an inflammatory bowel disease, and so it's basically running to

723
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 2: the bathroom, very unpleasant, just the worst imagine your worst

724
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 2: stomach scenario. It's that twenty four hours a day, and

725
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:07,800
Speaker 2: it's chronic there's no cure, and I was really sick,

726
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 2: and so I'm trying to lead my small but mighty team.

727
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 2: I'm so sick. I used up all my sick days.

728
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 2: I tried to convince them to let me work from home,

729
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,359
Speaker 2: and they were like, they let me for a little while,

730
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 2: and they were good to me when I was sick,

731
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 2: But it got to the point where it was like,

732
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 2: I can't lead my team from home. We're too small.

733
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 2: I need to be there in person. I ended up

734
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 2: going on a medical leave for about I think a

735
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 2: month and a half, which in magazine worlds that's like,

736
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 2: you know, from summer to Christmas, and I got very depressed.

737
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,400
Speaker 2: Was a very hard time in my life. I had

738
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 2: started running. I couldn't run. I mean I didn't leave

739
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 2: my apartment for days at a time, and my whole

740
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 2: staff would come visit me, which was really sweet, but

741
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 2: it was hard, and I knew I needed a lifestyle change.

742
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 3: What got you to start running during that time?

743
00:35:58,239 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 2: Like?

744
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 3: Why lean into running everything?

745
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 2: I started running my very first run. Actually I mentioned

746
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 2: those Craigslist roommates my very first run. I moved The

747
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 2: day I moved into that apartment, it was December sixth,

748
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 2: two thousand and seven, and I moved in with my

749
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,439
Speaker 2: tap shoes and I look in my one roommate's room

750
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,240
Speaker 2: and she has all these like shiny necklaces on her wall.

751
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 2: They were race metals. I was like, those are shiny?

752
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 2: Where can I buy one of those? Like? How did

753
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 2: you get to you?

754
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 1: Imagine just like rocking one of these metals walking around.

755
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: Were sitting at my coffee table and there's like a

756
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 1: basket of metals under it.

757
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll put one on perfect look cool? And she's like,

758
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 2: those are my half marathon metals. And I was like,

759
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,759
Speaker 2: what do those words mean? Like I had heard of marathons,

760
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,440
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have been able to tell you it was

761
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 2: a twenty six to two point two mile race. Had

762
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,840
Speaker 2: never heard of a half marathon. And yeah, once I

763
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,240
Speaker 2: moved to the city, had some free time and realized

764
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 2: I should use it, not totally always eating pizza. She

765
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 2: was like, you should go, you should try running, and

766
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,480
Speaker 2: she took me to get fitted for a pair of

767
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 2: running shoes. And I remember being on the treadmill at

768
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 2: the running store, embarrassed, thinking I was doing it wrong,

769
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 2: wondering like what pace should I be at like I

770
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:09,359
Speaker 2: was just in a running store getting fitted, worrying so much,

771
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 2: and so I got my running shoes, got out the door,

772
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 2: and I started running. And that was in two thousand

773
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 2: and eight, and I ran. I ran a four mile

774
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:23,879
Speaker 2: race in Central Park that year with my roommate. Thought

775
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 2: it was the best day of my life. I remember

776
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 2: eating like forty five pancakes after. So I was like,

777
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 2: I crush a four mile race. And I didn't necessarily

778
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 2: obsess over it at first, but I knew I liked it.

779
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:37,840
Speaker 2: You know. My first run was like, out of the

780
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 2: gate sprinted, made it four seconds. The next run made

781
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 2: it eight seconds because I had no idea about pacing.

782
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 2: But I knew I liked it. I liked being outside.

783
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,840
Speaker 2: It was totally new for me, talk about the opposite

784
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,799
Speaker 2: of dancing. Dancers were literally told not to run, and

785
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:57,360
Speaker 2: so here I was running and signed up for a

786
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 2: half marathon, and I believe it was two thousand and

787
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:02,720
Speaker 2: nine first half marathon for the Crones and Kalitis Foundation.

788
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 2: I found a program called Team Challenge, and it was amazing.

789
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 2: It's like Team and Training or any of the other

790
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 2: ones where you raise money for the good cause, which

791
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 2: I was obviously passionate about. But even then it was

792
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:18,359
Speaker 2: like I ran a couple half marathons. And then in

793
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 2: twenty eleven I was editor in chief of Dance Spirit.

794
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 2: This was before I got super sick, and I this

795
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 2: is what I consider my hurdle moment, is when my

796
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:31,800
Speaker 2: crones had been acting up on and off. I didn't

797
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 2: I couldn't figure it out. I didn't know why I

798
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 2: was so sick. I didn't know why, even though I

799
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,720
Speaker 2: had had this disease since I was seven, Why now?

800
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,319
Speaker 2: Why was it so bad?

801
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 3: Now?

802
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 2: Was it something I was eating? Looking back, I can

803
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,240
Speaker 2: absolutely say a lot of it was stress, Yeah, for sure.

804
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,799
Speaker 2: And so that time period was a culmination of a

805
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: lot of things for me. It was when I decided

806
00:38:56,640 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 2: to run my first marathon fresh off a breakup. So

807
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,800
Speaker 2: let's see, went through a breakup, ran my first marathon,

808
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:03,759
Speaker 2: quit my dream job.

809
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 3: That's a lot at once.

810
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, And those are like all really big life defining moments,

811
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,359
Speaker 1: right running your first marathon, no matter what you've gone

812
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,959
Speaker 1: through in your life, it's a lesson, I think, without fail.

813
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,840
Speaker 1: Every time that reminds you you are capable of anything

814
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 1: you set your mind to which you had exercise, going

815
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:24,240
Speaker 1: into this job and becoming editor in chief of this magazine,

816
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,319
Speaker 1: and it's like, wow, I'm really capable of anything I

817
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:27,840
Speaker 1: set my mind to. You, and then you run a marathon.

818
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm really capable of anything I set my

819
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 1: mind to. And then maybe you walk away.

820
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 3: From a breakup and it sucks, but well I needed

821
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 3: to get out of that.

822
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:40,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that was I had moved in with this guy,

823
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 2: not the one in Chuesshure, a different one. We were

824
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,800
Speaker 2: living together on the Upper East Side. I was editor

825
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 2: in chief, like dreams abound, and then we moved in

826
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:57,720
Speaker 2: together in October or it was Halloween, October thirty. First

827
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 2: he broke up with me in February. Valentine's Day. Oh well,

828
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 2: it was his birthday. It was like a whole thing.

829
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 3: I met a guy the other day who told me

830
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 3: his birthday was on Valentine's Day and I was like,

831
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry.

832
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 2: I think this was like right after. I don't know.

833
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 3: That's got to suck.

834
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially for I mean most men.

835
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 3: I don't know, most men aren't like diehard.

836
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 2: Romantic, so well, I love Valentine's Day.

837
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:19,800
Speaker 3: I mean we're women.

838
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I didn't used to, like recently, I feel

839
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 2: like I feel like it used to not be cool

840
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,799
Speaker 2: to like Valentine's Day, and now I'm like, you know what,

841
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 2: I love love and that doesn't just mean romantic love,

842
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 2: just love in general. So yeah, I love Valentine's Day all.

843
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 3: The cheesiness, except for your boyfriend.

844
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he sent me roses at work and I

845
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 2: was like, I'm very confused.

846
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 3: Was there a letter that said and you are the

847
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 3: weakest link goodbye?

848
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 2: No, and so that I mean that breakup like rocked

849
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,319
Speaker 2: my world. And the thing is like, obviously, now it's

850
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 2: easy to see we weren't happy. We we should have

851
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 2: broken up. It's great that we broke up, but at

852
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 2: the time was like, my world is ending.

853
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 3: Oh my god, what did you do?

854
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,360
Speaker 2: Yeah? We lived together for like two months until.

855
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 3: I thought been to so many people in New York. Fortunately,

856
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:11,359
Speaker 3: what a toxic time.

857
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. The apartment we were in was it was like

858
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:16,839
Speaker 2: a duplex style on the Upper East Side, so there

859
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,879
Speaker 2: was an upstairs and a downstairs. But I'm pretty sure

860
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 2: we shared a bed for way longer than we should have. Yeah,

861
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 2: and it was horrible. And that was definitely my party

862
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,319
Speaker 2: girl face because I was like, I don't want to

863
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 2: be home, so I'm going to be at the bars,

864
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 2: and the Upper east Side is a great place for that.

865
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:31,439
Speaker 3: Highly great bars.

866
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 2: If you are twenty five and going through a breakup,

867
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 2: highly recommend the.

868
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 3: Dorians and the stumble In and every other spot down.

869
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 2: Okay, so I had a lot of fun. My world

870
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 2: was shaken. The irony of it all is that at

871
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 2: the time of our breakup, when the relationship was getting

872
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 2: bad and I knew it was, I saw on Facebook

873
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 2: and add from my favorite local running store, Jack Rabit Sports,

874
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 2: that said, we are looking for local runners to cast

875
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 2: in a marketing campaign. You will train to run a

876
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 2: marathon and raise money for a charity that you believe in.

877
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:12,399
Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay, I've run a couple halves. I've

878
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:16,400
Speaker 2: wanted to run a full. I have a cause chrone

879
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 2: like crones and Colitis Foundation. For sure, I could use

880
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 2: this in my life right now. The morning that I

881
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 2: went in, they were doing screen tests, so you had

882
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 2: to apply online. If they liked your application, they brought

883
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 2: you in for a screen test where I sat in

884
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:32,839
Speaker 2: front of a camera and they asked me questions. I

885
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 2: remember it so vividly walked into jack Rabbit Sports. They

886
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 2: were like two hours behind, and of course I was

887
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:41,319
Speaker 2: working at Dance Spirit at the time. Was like brb, yeah,

888
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 2: thought I'd be out for like half an hour. Missed

889
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 2: the whole day of work. I remember walking downstairs into

890
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 2: their basement, which is where they kept all the clothes

891
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 2: and stuff, and this guy is standing down there. It

892
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 2: was February eleventh, and he said, you know, while you're

893
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 2: waiting to want me to get you some fruit. He

894
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 2: was like cute wearing a blazer. And I was like, wow,

895
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 2: this cater is fancy offering me fruit and blazer. I

896
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:07,959
Speaker 2: didn't take the fruit. Did the screen test. I felt

897
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,879
Speaker 2: really good about it. It felt really confident. That night

898
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 2: is when we went out for my boyfriend at the

899
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:16,400
Speaker 2: time for his birthday. We broke up. The next morning,

900
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 2: was devastated. And then the night before I was getting

901
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 2: ready to move out of our apartment, which was in

902
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 2: the end of March. I like, everything's packed up, it's

903
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 2: at my laptop and I check my email before I

904
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:30,320
Speaker 2: go to bed, and I had email from jack Rabbit Sports.

905
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 2: You have been selected as one of our six winners

906
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 2: or whatever. So I get cast in this campaign. I

907
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 2: get over the breakup, I trained for the marathon. It

908
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 2: brought me back to life. And yeah, like you said,

909
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 2: anyone who's trained for a marathon, that first marathon is

910
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:53,359
Speaker 2: like every distance is new, every pace feels amazing, Like

911
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 2: even if you don't physically feel amazing, it's just so empowering.

912
00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:00,399
Speaker 2: And it was exactly what I needed to get through

913
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 2: that time. And spoiler, the caterer not a caterer. He

914
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 2: was the owner of the ad agency that was producing

915
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 2: the entire campaign and he is now my husband.

916
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 3: He's now my husband.

917
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it worked out in all kinds of great ways.

918
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 2: Was definitely not looking to meet someone at the time,

919
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 2: but yeah, the cute caterer. I remember being at a

920
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 2: shoot because we did a bunch of video shoots for

921
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 2: all the content they were doing, and I remember going

922
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 2: up to him and like, you know, chatty me. I

923
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 2: was like, what are we having for lunch today? Because

924
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 2: I literally thought he was the caterer and he was like,

925
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 2: I don't know, I think we'll probably just go somewhere.

926
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 2: We were in Central Park. He's like, Oh, we'll just

927
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 2: go somewhere and grab sandwiches. And I was like, caterer

928
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 2: sucks at his job, like, you literally have one job.

929
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 2: Where are my snacks? The next shoot was after I

930
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 2: had been up at four am ran the Brooklyn half marathon.

931
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:56,719
Speaker 2: Went all the way. We had to shoot that day

932
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 2: in Van Cortland Park, which is up in the Bronx,

933
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:01,840
Speaker 2: so as far from Coney Island as you can be

934
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 2: while still being in one of the five burroughs. So

935
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 2: I went all the way from Coney Island to Van

936
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 2: Cortland Park shot these commercials. Was so exhausted. Ended up

937
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 2: talking to Brian, not the caterer, on the way out.

938
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,279
Speaker 2: Learned we both lived on the Upper east Side. I

939
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 2: went home. I was living in a studio apartment at

940
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 2: the time on the Upper east Side. I was way

941
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:24,719
Speaker 2: too tired to make myself dinner, so I had half

942
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 2: a bottle of Pino grigio instead. Ended up sending a

943
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 2: Facebook message to Brian and was like, thanks for everything today.

944
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 2: The shoot was so great. We met up at a

945
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 2: bar that was our first date that night. It went

946
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 2: for forty eight hours. I fell asleep multiple times during it,

947
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 2: like we were literally sitting on my couch watching the Office,

948
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 2: and I would like doze off because I ran a

949
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 2: half marathon. Yeah, twenty four hours ago, but still on

950
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:51,839
Speaker 2: that date. We have a baby now, still long day,

951
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:53,320
Speaker 2: and I ran that marathon and I went on to

952
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 2: run six more marathons. So for anyone who is going

953
00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:00,880
Speaker 2: through a breakup, I am here to say that it

954
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 2: sucks and sometimes then it gets good.

955
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 1: Quick break from today's episode to give the sponsor Athleticgreens

956
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,279
Speaker 1: a little bit alove. If one of your New year's

957
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:22,279
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958
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959
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 3: I'm literally sitting here drinking it right now.

960
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 2: My diet is nowhere.

961
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:29,840
Speaker 1: Near perfect, but I know that's starting my day with

962
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,200
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963
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:37,759
Speaker 1: Loaded with vitamins and minerals, adaptations, superfoods, probiotics, probiotics, It's

964
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 1: got everything I need to feel like a better me.

965
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:44,320
Speaker 1: It helps me reset every single day with a positive intention.

966
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:48,000
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967
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968
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:50,080
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969
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970
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:55,799
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971
00:46:55,960 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 3: code necessary again, that's Athleticgreens dot Com sash Hurdle.

972
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:10,080
Speaker 1: Let's get back to it. I'm back here stitting with

973
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 1: Ali Feller, the host of the Ali on the Run Show.

974
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:16,800
Speaker 1: What I want to hear a little bit more about

975
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:20,600
Speaker 1: now is how you've dealt with crones, because I think that,

976
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 1: especially as a runner, and please, there are so many

977
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 1: aspects of having crones that interfere with life outside of

978
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:31,400
Speaker 1: just running. But running is hard enough, yeah, so I

979
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 1: can only imagine what it's got to be like to

980
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:38,760
Speaker 1: be going on for three four five hours as a runner,

981
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 1: dealing with some of the issues that you have to

982
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:42,800
Speaker 1: deal with having this disease.

983
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, and running is kind of the benchmark of how

984
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 2: sick I am because I run in a you know,

985
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 2: in a perfect world, in a perfectly healthy world. I'm

986
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:54,719
Speaker 2: running every day or every couple days, and when a

987
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 2: crone slur comes on, I know right away it's one

988
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 2: of those things that I get that one run to

989
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:04,399
Speaker 2: the bathroom and I know, and I'll call my mom

990
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 2: and be like, oh, yeah, like I think this might

991
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 2: be the onset of a flair And she's always like, no,

992
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,200
Speaker 2: it's probably something you ate because she's adorable and optimistic

993
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:13,239
Speaker 2: and I'm her daughter, and she doesn't want me to

994
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:16,799
Speaker 2: be sick, but I always know, and so I'll keep

995
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:20,760
Speaker 2: running through a flare when I can for the mental

996
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:24,319
Speaker 2: sanity of it, like to get outside, to sweat, to

997
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 2: feel like myself. And I'll run until the point that

998
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:32,320
Speaker 2: it is officially no longer fun. And oftentimes that means

999
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 2: I'm making more bathroom stops than the number of miles

1000
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 2: I'm running. So if I have to stop four times

1001
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 2: in a three mile run, like I'll call it because

1002
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:45,919
Speaker 2: that's not enjoyable. And so basically, I mean, crones comes

1003
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 2: with a lot of different symptoms for me. Like I said,

1004
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 2: the biggest is the running for the bathroom. It's not

1005
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 2: even the pain. It's we call it the urgency of

1006
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 2: Like I think any runner listening can probably relate. Imagine

1007
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 2: that moment during a run when you're like, oh my god,

1008
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,399
Speaker 2: if there's not a porta potti or a bush, something

1009
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:04,919
Speaker 2: terrible is going to happen. With crones, it's that twenty

1010
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:08,160
Speaker 2: four hours a day with no real end point, because

1011
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:10,880
Speaker 2: you never really know when you're gonna feel better. I

1012
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 2: never know when I'm going to feel better, which is hard.

1013
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 2: I'm a planner. Clearly, I planned my life when I

1014
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 2: was sixteen, so to not know when I'm going to

1015
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:22,359
Speaker 2: be better. I've always said, if on the first day

1016
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 2: of a crones flair, someone came to me and said, Okay,

1017
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:27,760
Speaker 2: you're going to be really, really sick for a while,

1018
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 2: but on April seventh, you're going to feel totally better,

1019
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 2: I'd be okay, right because I would have an end

1020
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:37,680
Speaker 2: date and I would know. It's the uncertainty, because I've

1021
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 2: had flares that have only lasted a couple of weeks. Actually,

1022
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 2: when I was training for my first marathon, I flared

1023
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 2: the first couple weeks of training, and I've had flares

1024
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 2: that have lasted two years. The one that I was

1025
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,799
Speaker 2: dealing with when I ended up leaving Dance Spirit because

1026
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,399
Speaker 2: I just knew. I was like, if I don't make

1027
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:55,840
Speaker 2: a total lifestyle change, I'm never going to get better.

1028
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 2: I can't keep doing the same thing every day and

1029
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 2: just hoping for the best, just hoping eventually the medicine

1030
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:06,080
Speaker 2: will work, hoping eventually cutting out gluten will make me

1031
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 2: feel better. And so for me, it's always the mental

1032
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:14,440
Speaker 2: side of the disease that's harder. The physical stuff. I

1033
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 2: can deal with. Like, I'm pretty tough, right, you know,

1034
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 2: to be totally candid here, you poop your pants once

1035
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 2: and you kind of get over it. That's not to

1036
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 2: say it's pleasant or fun, but like, literally, it feels

1037
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 2: like when something like that happens, it feels like your

1038
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 2: life is ending. To be a woman in my thirties

1039
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 2: and to have to worry about having an accident in

1040
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 2: public is mortifying, right, I it was about almost two

1041
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 2: years ago. I was so excited. I had launched The

1042
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,719
Speaker 2: Alley on the Run Show a couple months prior, and

1043
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,960
Speaker 2: you know, I was like fearless. I was putting out

1044
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:53,719
Speaker 2: the emails to the people I really wanted to have

1045
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 2: on the show. And I love Natalie Morales from The

1046
00:50:57,160 --> 00:51:01,480
Speaker 2: Today Show. She's a runner. She had just reloked to California.

1047
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:03,720
Speaker 2: But I reached out to her team and was like, listen,

1048
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 2: I want to have her on my show. If she's

1049
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 2: in New York, hit me up. And they're like, oh,

1050
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:09,280
Speaker 2: she's going to be in New York this week. Sure,

1051
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:13,399
Speaker 2: And I'm like, did Natalie Morales just agree to come

1052
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,160
Speaker 2: on The Alley on the Run Show during her very

1053
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 2: short trip to New York?

1054
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 3: Doesn't it blow your mind when people make time for

1055
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 3: you that you don't expect.

1056
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did that. I think they thought I was

1057
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:22,319
Speaker 2: like a way bigger deal or something.

1058
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 3: I always feel that way.

1059
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 2: So they were like, yeah, come to thirty Rock. You

1060
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 2: can record in the Access Hollywood studio. And again I'm like,

1061
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 2: are you kidding me? So that morning I was like,

1062
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 2: you know what I need before I go record with Natalie,

1063
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,320
Speaker 2: I need to go to yoga at Lionstone Power Yoga.

1064
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 2: I love lion So I was living in New Jersey

1065
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 2: at the time, so I took the ferry and I'm

1066
00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 2: on the ferry and I was very sick at the time,

1067
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 2: but also very optimistic. And I was on the ferry

1068
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 2: and let's just say, the worst thing happened. So instead

1069
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 2: of going and taking a class at Lionsden this morning,

1070
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 2: I went to lions Den and bought a pair of

1071
00:51:57,960 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 2: pants because I needed to change and sat on the

1072
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 2: sidewalk and cried and felt really sorry for myself because

1073
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 2: it was supposed to be the best day and instead

1074
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 2: Crones was trying to take it away from me. That's

1075
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 2: how it felt, and no part of me felt like

1076
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 2: the strong, empowering, like I got this I'm stronger than

1077
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:21,239
Speaker 2: this disease, because that's what people always tell me. Yeah, like, oh,

1078
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:24,760
Speaker 2: you have this disease, but you're stronger than this. Keep fighting,

1079
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:28,360
Speaker 2: Like I'm not fighting. I am sitting on a stoop

1080
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 2: and Tribeca crying because I just crapped myself on a

1081
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:36,360
Speaker 2: ferry and had to buy a pair of pants that

1082
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 2: were like one hundred and eight dollars and I don't

1083
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 2: even like them, but I need them. And the only

1084
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 2: things open at six am are yoga studios.

1085
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:46,960
Speaker 3: They are yoga pants. I'm expecting them to be at

1086
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 3: least like a nice parent.

1087
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 2: No, Like I bought a pair of leggings because it

1088
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,880
Speaker 2: was so early, it was like eight am. No actual

1089
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 2: stores were exactly I had to go to a fitness studio,

1090
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 2: so yeah, I ended up going to thirty Rock. We

1091
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:08,560
Speaker 2: recorded the episode. My computer crashed as we were starting,

1092
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 2: so it was you know, it was kind of a

1093
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:14,839
Speaker 2: crazy day. Still grateful, but yeah, Crone's disease is no joke.

1094
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:19,200
Speaker 2: Any chronic illness is no joke. And especially I have

1095
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:22,239
Speaker 2: big dreams and goals and it's hard for me when

1096
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 2: those are sidelined because of something that feels out of

1097
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 2: my control. Yeah, it would be easy to say like, oh,

1098
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:30,080
Speaker 2: I didn't reach that goal because I'm the idiot who

1099
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 2: didn't work hard enough, or like, oh, you know what,

1100
00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 2: I really wanted to do this cool thing, but I

1101
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 2: didn't get off my button, send the email, or make

1102
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 2: the call or pick up the phone. That would be

1103
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 2: one thing. To have dreams and goals that I haven't

1104
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:45,640
Speaker 2: been able to achieve because of a disease. That to

1105
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 2: me really sucks.

1106
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 3: What have you done? I know we talked a lot

1107
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 3: about how stress can have a serious impact on this,

1108
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:55,000
Speaker 3: But what have been maybe some other tactics that you've

1109
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 3: kind of leaned into when you feel like your flares

1110
00:53:57,719 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 3: are around?

1111
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:04,360
Speaker 2: I quit my full time job. Yeah, not not something

1112
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:07,839
Speaker 2: people can just do. So that was when I left

1113
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:11,320
Speaker 2: Dance Spirit. I was so sick and I said, I'm

1114
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:16,799
Speaker 2: so stressed going into work every day. I remember we

1115
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:20,080
Speaker 2: had a photo shoot was for our May June issue

1116
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 2: that year, so I think it was twenty thirteen, and

1117
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:26,919
Speaker 2: I was so excited because this was like a get

1118
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,799
Speaker 2: I got all ten of Beyonce's dancers to agree to

1119
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 2: be on a cover together had never been done. She

1120
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:36,320
Speaker 2: had eight female dancers at the time. Two male dancers.

1121
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 2: They were all going to give us like two hours

1122
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 2: of their time. The shoot was so stressful, just you know,

1123
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:46,879
Speaker 2: everything you get when you're working with Beyonce's team, It's

1124
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 2: very stressful and specific. After the shoot wrapped, I stood

1125
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:54,399
Speaker 2: out on the street and threw up. Ended up being

1126
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:58,840
Speaker 2: hospitalized because I got an immediate fever. It led to

1127
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 2: the worst flag by later that year, I was like,

1128
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:05,040
Speaker 2: I have to leave this job, like I have to

1129
00:55:05,239 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 2: change my life. And I could have probably managed my

1130
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:10,399
Speaker 2: stress better somehow. My mom is always like, you need

1131
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 2: to find ways to manage your stress, and people say meditate.

1132
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,880
Speaker 2: I can't sit and meditate for twenty minutes when I

1133
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 2: need to be in the bathroom constantly. It's just not practical.

1134
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:23,160
Speaker 2: And so the big change I made was leaving that job.

1135
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,640
Speaker 2: I actually went to another full time job working at

1136
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:29,479
Speaker 2: jack Rabbit Sports in their marketing department, which I only

1137
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,799
Speaker 2: did for eight months, and I was healthy while I

1138
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,200
Speaker 2: was there. Is the crazy thing. I left that job

1139
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:37,360
Speaker 2: at Dance Spirit and within like two months I was healthy,

1140
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 2: like fully healthy, running ran, was in the best shape

1141
00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:46,799
Speaker 2: of my life, and then got sick again eventually, and

1142
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:48,279
Speaker 2: I just said, you know, what I need to be

1143
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:50,760
Speaker 2: working from home. I need to be near my bathroom.

1144
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 2: I hate that the career decisions I'm making are based

1145
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 2: on that. And there was more to it too. I

1146
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:59,400
Speaker 2: wasn't happy with the job at Jackrabbit. It was definitely

1147
00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:02,719
Speaker 2: a paycheck while I was figuring out my next move.

1148
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:05,120
Speaker 2: So I said, you know what, I think I need

1149
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:07,800
Speaker 2: to try going freelance. And so there I was freelance

1150
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:09,560
Speaker 2: writing about health and fitness.

1151
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:10,799
Speaker 3: How do you like it?

1152
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 2: I like it, But even now it's been a couple

1153
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:16,400
Speaker 2: of years and I don't consider that the main thing

1154
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 2: I do anymore. I definitely consider the podcast main my

1155
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:24,040
Speaker 2: main hustle, my main job. It took me a while

1156
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 2: to call it my job, yeah, because it felt like

1157
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:29,520
Speaker 2: such a guilty pleasure. It's so fun and it's so

1158
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:33,360
Speaker 2: it gives back to me so much that to be

1159
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:35,080
Speaker 2: able to call that my job, and then I'm like,

1160
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:38,439
Speaker 2: no own that own that, like dance spirit, was really

1161
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,279
Speaker 2: rewarding too, and I had no problem calling that a job.

1162
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 2: I think I come from a traditional family in that

1163
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:47,279
Speaker 2: my dad was an accountant. My mom stayed home with

1164
00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:51,760
Speaker 2: us until you know, we were in like third grade,

1165
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:55,600
Speaker 2: and then she became a teacher and very traditional, like

1166
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:57,920
Speaker 2: my dad's an accountant. My dad is very like you

1167
00:56:57,960 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 2: should always have this munch in your savings and set

1168
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:02,799
Speaker 2: us this much. He's very buy the books. And I

1169
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:06,640
Speaker 2: am like so not, but I try to be. And

1170
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:09,200
Speaker 2: so for me to tell my parents like I'm a

1171
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:13,479
Speaker 2: freelance writer and I have a podcast is like what.

1172
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:16,240
Speaker 3: Now, Yeah, I feel like for the first few months

1173
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:20,440
Speaker 3: or I mean probably still. And my mom we'd always

1174
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 3: catch up on the phone, as we always do, and

1175
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 3: she'd sometimes be like, so, how are you doing, Like

1176
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 3: is everything okay? And like she and she was alluding

1177
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 3: to the fact that like are you making enough money? Yes,

1178
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:31,760
Speaker 3: staying in your life.

1179
00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 2: Are you homeless?

1180
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 1: I'm not homeless. I'm living in my upper side with

1181
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 1: the bedroom. It's going fine. But I think it again,

1182
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 1: it goes back to that go get her attitude. There

1183
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 1: are going to be people that do this kind of

1184
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 1: work where you are your own boss, and for some

1185
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 1: people like you and I, it works and for other

1186
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 1: people it doesn't. And I think there's no better lesson

1187
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,360
Speaker 1: than at least putting yourself out there to learn if

1188
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 1: that's your kind of stick. Because for me, being a

1189
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:02,240
Speaker 1: freelancer has enabled me to grow in ways that I

1190
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:06,120
Speaker 1: never thought I would, which I definitely wouldn't have done

1191
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:09,520
Speaker 1: if I stayed in house anywhere. And granted, when I

1192
00:58:09,560 --> 00:58:12,080
Speaker 1: went freelance it wasn't by choice. You know, you can't

1193
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 1: predict one day that your magazine is gonna fold. But

1194
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:19,560
Speaker 1: what happened for me was just this beautiful experience of

1195
00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:24,000
Speaker 1: learning my strengths, owning my weaknesses, being able to vocalize them,

1196
00:58:24,200 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 1: recognize them, and then I mean the pod. I never

1197
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,240
Speaker 1: would have done this in house at self.

1198
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 2: Yep. Ever, it is so easy to get complacent when

1199
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,640
Speaker 2: you know you're getting a paycheck every week for every

1200
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 2: other week. Yeah, you cannot be lazy and succeed as

1201
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:43,760
Speaker 2: a freelancer. You can be lazy and be a freelancer.

1202
00:58:44,560 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 2: I don't think it's gonna go well.

1203
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think if you're lazy and you're a freelancer,

1204
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 1: you start to do this stuff we talked about at

1205
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:54,520
Speaker 1: the beginning of the episode, which is all of the

1206
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:58,720
Speaker 1: listicals you don't really have any any passion about, Yeah,

1207
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:01,280
Speaker 1: and they don't pay well, but you're doing a ton

1208
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:03,840
Speaker 1: of them because you're lazy and you don't want to

1209
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 1: put in the effort to maybe pitch content that you're

1210
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:08,160
Speaker 1: passionate about, which is why you and I are so

1211
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 1: lucky that we get to produce content that we're passionate

1212
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:11,320
Speaker 1: about no matter what.

1213
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 3: With the podcasts.

1214
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:14,680
Speaker 2: Yes, there's a lot less rejection with this. I've only

1215
00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 2: had I've only had two people say no to being

1216
00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:17,640
Speaker 2: on the show, so.

1217
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:19,880
Speaker 3: I don't know if I haven't. I have a few

1218
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:22,760
Speaker 3: that have said no. I feel like we both really

1219
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 3: go after it, Like why not? I mean, why not

1220
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:27,760
Speaker 3: be the one to go after it? Name some of

1221
00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 3: the amazing people that have been on the show for you.

1222
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:31,640
Speaker 2: I mean, Natalie Morales was huge, even though I crap

1223
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:34,560
Speaker 2: my pants on the way to meet her. I'm disgusting.

1224
00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 3: I mean, you've talked to Dez like more times.

1225
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, my left hand Des London sent me a message

1226
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:44,840
Speaker 2: yesterday like on Instagram DM like saying hey, like Caragoucher,

1227
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 2: people that I now consider. I don't know if Kara

1228
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:50,040
Speaker 2: Goucher would agree that we're friends, but I think she would.

1229
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:53,400
Speaker 2: Andrea Barber is Kimmy Gibbler on Full House, and she

1230
00:59:53,560 --> 00:59:55,920
Speaker 2: is an actual friend of mine. Now, yeah, because I

1231
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:58,680
Speaker 2: asked her to be on the show and she was

1232
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:00,440
Speaker 2: and then we did a live show together, or Mebico

1233
01:00:00,480 --> 01:00:03,600
Speaker 2: Fleski did the live show. I mean, I did my

1234
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:07,760
Speaker 2: first live show in San Diego in June of twenty eighteen.

1235
01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:12,000
Speaker 2: And when we found out that Does Lindon was going

1236
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 2: to be in town that day, my friend Chris Heisler,

1237
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 2: who had adea today for some on the planet, he

1238
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 2: was like, it Does is going to be in town,

1239
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:26,760
Speaker 2: and she came and was our special surprise guest at

1240
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 2: the live show. Like just amazing people, amazing connections. And

1241
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 2: it's just I think because it comes from a genuine place.

1242
01:00:35,520 --> 01:00:38,280
Speaker 2: You know, I'm not I'm not using anyone. I said,

1243
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:40,480
Speaker 2: it's selfish, and it is, but it's I want to

1244
01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:43,840
Speaker 2: talk about you in your life. I'm not asking anyone

1245
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:46,880
Speaker 2: to be on the show for my own gain in

1246
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 2: terms of like I'm not selling anyone anything, and if

1247
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:52,760
Speaker 2: I were, that's fine, but like I think, it's just

1248
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:56,480
Speaker 2: wanting to have genuine conversations with people and getting to

1249
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:58,760
Speaker 2: call that the way that I'm making a living right now,

1250
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 2: especially as I'm trying to figure out like how to

1251
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:04,960
Speaker 2: be a parent and have a career where I work

1252
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,000
Speaker 2: from home, like being a work from home mom is

1253
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:10,640
Speaker 2: a really weird thing. So a lot to figure out.

1254
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 3: When you start calling yourself a mom. Is it a

1255
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 3: total trip?

1256
01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't feel like I'm talking about myself. Like

1257
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:19,640
Speaker 2: when you asked me earlier, you were like, oh, you know,

1258
01:01:20,120 --> 01:01:22,880
Speaker 2: official title, and I'm like host of the Allian there

1259
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:24,680
Speaker 2: on show, freelance writer. I feel like a lot of

1260
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:26,880
Speaker 2: women the minute they have a baby, they're like, mom,

1261
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 2: freelance writer, right, And I'm like, is it bad that

1262
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 2: I like didn't say that first? But it's I've I've

1263
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:39,800
Speaker 2: found that I very much. Right now, I'm kind of compartmentalizing.

1264
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:42,479
Speaker 2: Like right now we're sitting here recording and I'm all

1265
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:45,800
Speaker 2: in and I'm I love my daughter more than I've

1266
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,560
Speaker 2: ever loved anything. I'm not sitting here worrying about her

1267
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,880
Speaker 2: right now, right and that'll change, that'll come and go.

1268
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 2: Some days I will uh yeah, it's amazing. And then

1269
01:01:55,280 --> 01:01:57,440
Speaker 2: when I'm home with Annie later today, I'm going to

1270
01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:59,200
Speaker 2: be all in on that and I'm not going to

1271
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:01,760
Speaker 2: be trying to like edit at the same time. Some

1272
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:04,160
Speaker 2: days I'm gonna multitask, and I trust me, I do.

1273
01:02:04,280 --> 01:02:06,560
Speaker 2: I mean, I've been editing while holding her and feeding

1274
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 2: her and pumping and like it's a mess, literally, but

1275
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:13,200
Speaker 2: I'm trying to really focus on what matters.

1276
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:15,360
Speaker 3: I think what you're saying about being all in doing

1277
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 3: any specific task is a skill that a lot of

1278
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:20,000
Speaker 3: people have trouble executing.

1279
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 1: Oh I'm not good at it, but I think it's impressing.

1280
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:25,240
Speaker 1: But it's impressive that you're willing to give it a go.

1281
01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:27,360
Speaker 1: I mean when I sat down with Ryan Flaherty, he

1282
01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:29,320
Speaker 1: was on episode thirty two. He's the sameor director of

1283
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 1: performance at Nike, and he said something really special. He's like,

1284
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:34,600
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna give you my time, then you're gonna

1285
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:36,919
Speaker 1: have all of my time. I'm not gonna sit here

1286
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 1: on my phone or checking an Apple Watch or whatever

1287
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 1: the case may be. I'm going to sit here and

1288
01:02:41,920 --> 01:02:44,280
Speaker 1: get the most out of that time possible because that's

1289
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 1: what we owe to ourselves, right exactly.

1290
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:48,720
Speaker 3: To be all in. To be all in, and I

1291
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:51,120
Speaker 3: want that in my relationships too. What else have you

1292
01:02:51,600 --> 01:02:56,200
Speaker 3: learned from executing now for two years? To Ali on

1293
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:57,320
Speaker 3: the run show, that's awesome.

1294
01:02:57,360 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 1: I listen to you talking about your network and your comunity,

1295
01:03:00,360 --> 01:03:02,280
Speaker 1: a lot of which I've come over to hurdle, and

1296
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 1: so I'm so thankful for that, and I just think about,

1297
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:07,400
Speaker 1: like what life is going to be like for me

1298
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:10,000
Speaker 1: a year from now. You mentioned you did your first

1299
01:03:10,080 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 1: live in June, and I did my first live in May,

1300
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,680
Speaker 1: and I feel like I am like trying to expedite

1301
01:03:17,040 --> 01:03:18,080
Speaker 1: all the things at once.

1302
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:21,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, patience is hard for me. Yeah. I the day

1303
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,840
Speaker 2: that I launched my show, I wanted it to be like,

1304
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:31,840
Speaker 2: you know, a billion downloads and whatever. I think we

1305
01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:33,600
Speaker 2: all live in a world now of wanting that instant

1306
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:36,960
Speaker 2: gratification of posting a photo on Instagram and watching the

1307
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:40,560
Speaker 2: likes come in, and it can be really addicting. And

1308
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:42,920
Speaker 2: my husband is constantly like, you need to chill. My

1309
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,120
Speaker 2: husband is someone who started his business when he was

1310
01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:48,400
Speaker 2: sixteen and is still working on growing it, you know,

1311
01:03:48,440 --> 01:03:51,080
Speaker 2: and he's very successful, but it's never going to be enough.

1312
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:56,640
Speaker 2: And I have to try really hard to like one

1313
01:03:56,680 --> 01:03:59,760
Speaker 2: thing at a time, and you know, just work really

1314
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 2: hard and not expect instant gratification. That being said, I

1315
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 2: remember launching and thinking like, oh my god, imagine one

1316
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 2: day getting to a point where like every episode is

1317
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:13,480
Speaker 2: getting ten thousand downloads, Like that was a goal. Of

1318
01:04:13,520 --> 01:04:16,080
Speaker 2: mine and like that happened within the first year, and

1319
01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:20,000
Speaker 2: so to see stuff like that where it's like, oh okay,

1320
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 2: Like sometimes the dreams that I think are crazy are attainable,

1321
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:26,880
Speaker 2: and so I need to dream crazier and dream bigger.

1322
01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:28,800
Speaker 2: And I have a lot of things in twenty nineteen

1323
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:31,720
Speaker 2: that I want to do a lot more stuff actually

1324
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:35,160
Speaker 2: with the community. The live shows, you know, they're so

1325
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:38,560
Speaker 2: so satisfying to get to hug the people that I

1326
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:41,040
Speaker 2: talk to every week and that listen and support me

1327
01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:44,880
Speaker 2: in the show. There's nothing better than that because I

1328
01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:47,840
Speaker 2: can talk to people and have these conversations all day

1329
01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:50,160
Speaker 2: and I will and I love that. And I'm going

1330
01:04:50,240 --> 01:04:53,040
Speaker 2: to put out episodes as much as I can knowing

1331
01:04:53,040 --> 01:04:54,960
Speaker 2: that people are on the other end listening and that

1332
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:58,880
Speaker 2: something's resonating. I mean, when when you were on the show,

1333
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:01,560
Speaker 2: I got so much many messages that so much of

1334
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:05,200
Speaker 2: what you said was resonating, was motivating, Like people have

1335
01:05:05,280 --> 01:05:07,800
Speaker 2: gone out and changed their lives and careers because of

1336
01:05:07,840 --> 01:05:11,080
Speaker 2: stuff they've heard on this show on other shows, like

1337
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:14,480
Speaker 2: how cool is that? Like who the hell am I

1338
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:17,920
Speaker 2: I know? You know, I'm not Oprah, I'm not Ellen. I'

1339
01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:20,120
Speaker 2: you're Ali, but so yeah, but I'm Ali, and I

1340
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:22,200
Speaker 2: think that I am learning to own that.

1341
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:25,880
Speaker 3: I think that's awesome. If you, speaking of careers and

1342
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:28,040
Speaker 3: making a name for yourself, if you had to think

1343
01:05:28,080 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 3: about one of the best pieces of advice you've gotten

1344
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:35,200
Speaker 3: and received in your career, what would you say that is?

1345
01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:40,200
Speaker 2: Ask, send the email, pick up the phone, dream bigger.

1346
01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 2: These are all things my husband is constantly telling me.

1347
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:45,440
Speaker 2: Because he has no shame, he has no fear. He

1348
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:49,120
Speaker 2: will pick up the phone and call anyone that he wants.

1349
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:52,160
Speaker 2: And it's not an ego thing. It's not thinking like, oh,

1350
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:55,080
Speaker 2: I deserve to get you on the phone, but why

1351
01:05:55,120 --> 01:06:00,680
Speaker 2: not ask? Because anytime I've been disappointed with the Alley

1352
01:06:00,680 --> 01:06:03,160
Speaker 2: on the run show, or with anything in my freelance career,

1353
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:06,280
Speaker 2: there have been so many times that I've seen a

1354
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:09,520
Speaker 2: story that I'm like, oh, dang, she wrote that I

1355
01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:12,480
Speaker 2: had that idea, but I didn't do anything. I had

1356
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:14,800
Speaker 2: the idea and I didn't send the pitch and someone

1357
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:16,880
Speaker 2: else did. Because you know what, there's a lot of

1358
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:20,200
Speaker 2: freelance writers out there. There's a lot of thirty something,

1359
01:06:21,040 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 2: you know, white women, health and fitness writers.

1360
01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:26,640
Speaker 3: There are a lot of us.

1361
01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:30,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, so to think that I have this genius idea

1362
01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:32,520
Speaker 2: that if I just like wait until I have time

1363
01:06:32,560 --> 01:06:34,600
Speaker 2: to send to the email, no, someone else is going

1364
01:06:34,680 --> 01:06:37,040
Speaker 2: to jump on that and then it's done. Yeah, So

1365
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:41,520
Speaker 2: not hesitating. And that's the thing Brian tells me, and

1366
01:06:41,560 --> 01:06:44,880
Speaker 2: it's honestly, it's something I tell myself every day. Stop waiting.

1367
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:49,160
Speaker 2: Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Like I didn't launch

1368
01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:52,440
Speaker 2: my podcast for months because I didn't have a logo,

1369
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:55,320
Speaker 2: and Brian was like, why do you need a logo.

1370
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:57,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I need the little square for iTunes

1371
01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:59,640
Speaker 2: so people know. He's like, okay, so get one pair.

1372
01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:02,720
Speaker 2: Someone make something crappy. No one cares about your logo,

1373
01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:05,520
Speaker 2: launch your show, right. And then of course I'm seeing

1374
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:07,840
Speaker 2: all these other shows similar to what I'm doing popping

1375
01:07:07,920 --> 01:07:10,600
Speaker 2: up and I'm getting mad. Yeah, Like, I don't get

1376
01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 2: to get mad at those people for doing what I

1377
01:07:13,560 --> 01:07:16,520
Speaker 2: want to be doing, because they did it. I sat

1378
01:07:16,560 --> 01:07:17,320
Speaker 2: on the couch.

1379
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:20,200
Speaker 3: I think what's really important about what you're saying is

1380
01:07:20,480 --> 01:07:24,080
Speaker 3: that it's okay to have this lean startup mentality sometimes,

1381
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:26,880
Speaker 3: especially you know, we're doing these things on our own,

1382
01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:31,520
Speaker 3: and we also are probably the people that are going

1383
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:35,560
Speaker 3: to be the hardest on ourselves. So when you look

1384
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 3: at someone else's success and you feel some kind of

1385
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 3: way about it, you've got to ask yourself the question

1386
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:43,880
Speaker 3: as to why am I angry? Why does this make

1387
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:44,600
Speaker 3: me frustrated?

1388
01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:45,680
Speaker 2: Why am I mad?

1389
01:07:46,120 --> 01:07:49,320
Speaker 1: And figure out that nine times out of ten, probably

1390
01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:51,560
Speaker 1: nine and a half times out of ten, it's something

1391
01:07:51,600 --> 01:07:54,080
Speaker 1: you're doing that's making you upset. It's not there, it's

1392
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:56,720
Speaker 1: not their move. And I also think it takes a

1393
01:07:56,760 --> 01:07:59,720
Speaker 1: really special person to be able to celebrate with other

1394
01:07:59,720 --> 01:08:03,280
Speaker 1: people when they are successful, especially as a freelancer in

1395
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:06,000
Speaker 1: this culture where there is a little bit of competition.

1396
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:08,480
Speaker 1: It's I want to show up and I want to

1397
01:08:08,480 --> 01:08:11,000
Speaker 1: be your biggest cheerleader, and I want to surround myself

1398
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:12,480
Speaker 1: with people that feel like they can do that for

1399
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:12,919
Speaker 1: me too.

1400
01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:16,040
Speaker 2: Yep. And it's trusting the work that I'm doing. It's

1401
01:08:16,120 --> 01:08:20,760
Speaker 2: knowing that, you know, there can be a million podcasts

1402
01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:24,240
Speaker 2: hosted by women just like me, just like us, talking

1403
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:27,000
Speaker 2: to the same people I need to trust. And I

1404
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:30,640
Speaker 2: do trust that the conversations I'm having come from a

1405
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:35,320
Speaker 2: place of my own authenticity and just not worrying, like

1406
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:40,280
Speaker 2: after any major race. I know that every running related

1407
01:08:40,320 --> 01:08:44,200
Speaker 2: podcast which is reaching out to the winner and whatever

1408
01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:48,439
Speaker 2: other story there was after Boston, every podcast host reached

1409
01:08:48,479 --> 01:08:51,040
Speaker 2: out to Sarah Sellers. She was this unknown woman who

1410
01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:54,439
Speaker 2: came in second. Very cool. I was among them. I

1411
01:08:54,520 --> 01:08:56,519
Speaker 2: ended up being the first person to get her on

1412
01:08:56,680 --> 01:09:00,439
Speaker 2: to date is my most downloaded episode. Yeah, same time.

1413
01:09:00,520 --> 01:09:02,720
Speaker 2: Sometimes after races, I'm kind of like, you know what,

1414
01:09:03,280 --> 01:09:05,760
Speaker 2: that story didn't resonate with me. I'm not going to

1415
01:09:05,800 --> 01:09:07,599
Speaker 2: reach out, and people will reach out and they're like, oh,

1416
01:09:07,640 --> 01:09:10,240
Speaker 2: I thought you would have had so and so from

1417
01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:12,599
Speaker 2: you know, after she won New York on your show,

1418
01:09:12,760 --> 01:09:15,000
Speaker 2: and I'm like, no, but here are all the places

1419
01:09:15,040 --> 01:09:17,479
Speaker 2: you can go listen to that. Like, I'm totally cool

1420
01:09:17,560 --> 01:09:20,559
Speaker 2: with spreading the love and saying like no, but here's

1421
01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:23,040
Speaker 2: where to get that, and just trusting my.

1422
01:09:23,040 --> 01:09:25,559
Speaker 3: Gut and not being gutsy.

1423
01:09:25,760 --> 01:09:29,439
Speaker 2: Being gutsy, I have like a leaky, sad, cronesy gut,

1424
01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:31,560
Speaker 2: but I need to trust it still.

1425
01:09:32,640 --> 01:09:33,040
Speaker 3: All right.

1426
01:09:33,120 --> 01:09:36,160
Speaker 1: The way that I wind down here is always doing

1427
01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:40,839
Speaker 1: a little bit of self reflection. So right now, looking

1428
01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:44,160
Speaker 1: back on the time where you're editoring chief of this

1429
01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:50,040
Speaker 1: thriving dance magazine and you're hanging out with Beyonce's dancers,

1430
01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:54,160
Speaker 1: and you're stressed and you're unhappy, and you're going through

1431
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:57,439
Speaker 1: the hurdle moment of all hurdle moments. What kind of

1432
01:09:57,479 --> 01:09:59,280
Speaker 1: advice would you give that girl?

1433
01:09:59,439 --> 01:10:00,400
Speaker 3: Looking back it.

1434
01:10:00,320 --> 01:10:04,080
Speaker 2: Now, chill out? I mean I give that advice to

1435
01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:07,360
Speaker 2: myself now too. But like what you said, we're always

1436
01:10:07,400 --> 01:10:12,280
Speaker 2: going to be our toughest critics. I knew that I

1437
01:10:12,280 --> 01:10:15,400
Speaker 2: should have left Dance Spirit, probably a year sooner than

1438
01:10:15,439 --> 01:10:17,360
Speaker 2: I did. I was afraid of how it would look.

1439
01:10:18,240 --> 01:10:21,760
Speaker 2: I was afraid that I got my dream job, that

1440
01:10:21,840 --> 01:10:25,240
Speaker 2: I was so public about it, so vocal. How was

1441
01:10:25,280 --> 01:10:27,840
Speaker 2: it going to look to my parents? How was it

1442
01:10:27,880 --> 01:10:28,439
Speaker 2: going to look?

1443
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:28,840
Speaker 3: You know?

1444
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:31,559
Speaker 2: I was very like I was blogging at the time.

1445
01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:33,559
Speaker 2: Everyone knew that I was this editor in chief. I

1446
01:10:33,640 --> 01:10:36,240
Speaker 2: loved the glory of the title, I loved the work.

1447
01:10:37,120 --> 01:10:40,240
Speaker 2: How was it going to look that I went from

1448
01:10:40,280 --> 01:10:42,920
Speaker 2: being editor in chief to working at a running store

1449
01:10:43,240 --> 01:10:47,000
Speaker 2: or freelance writer. I was so concerned. I wasn't. I

1450
01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:50,759
Speaker 2: never thought, but will I be happier? I only thought,

1451
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:53,920
Speaker 2: how is this going to look? Why did I care?

1452
01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:56,760
Speaker 2: And I still do that today. So I'm going to

1453
01:10:56,800 --> 01:11:00,840
Speaker 2: give that advice to Ali of twenty thirteen. But really,

1454
01:11:00,880 --> 01:11:03,200
Speaker 2: what I'm doing is giving it to the alley of

1455
01:11:03,520 --> 01:11:04,000
Speaker 2: right now.

1456
01:11:04,200 --> 01:11:07,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, thanks, thanks for coming to hang out with me.

1457
01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:08,760
Speaker 2: Can we do hip hop? Now?

1458
01:11:10,560 --> 01:11:12,240
Speaker 3: Oh my god, we just start breaking out and the

1459
01:11:12,240 --> 01:11:14,120
Speaker 3: people downstairs are like, what is happening?

1460
01:11:14,120 --> 01:11:17,160
Speaker 2: And join us? I would have brought my top new

1461
01:11:17,920 --> 01:11:18,439
Speaker 2: oh man.

1462
01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:21,200
Speaker 3: Please take a moment to leave a quick review by

1463
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:24,320
Speaker 3: clicking the link with the description to this episode. We

1464
01:11:24,400 --> 01:11:26,800
Speaker 3: all face multiple hurdles in life. I want to hear

1465
01:11:26,840 --> 01:11:27,439
Speaker 3: about yours.

1466
01:11:27,760 --> 01:11:30,080
Speaker 1: Reach out to me at Emily at Hurdle dot us,

1467
01:11:30,320 --> 01:11:33,479
Speaker 1: connect with the pod on Instagram and Twitter at Hurdle

1468
01:11:33,520 --> 01:11:34,800
Speaker 1: Podcast Ali.

1469
01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:37,160
Speaker 3: Where do they find you? Where do they find the

1470
01:11:37,200 --> 01:11:38,800
Speaker 3: Alley on the Run show? Give me the.

1471
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:42,559
Speaker 2: Deats Ali on the Run one on Instagram and Twitter.

1472
01:11:42,680 --> 01:11:44,960
Speaker 2: There's an Alley on the Run Facebook page that you

1473
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:47,360
Speaker 2: can like and follow all kinds of goodies on there,

1474
01:11:47,400 --> 01:11:50,439
Speaker 2: And by goodies, I mostly mean dog and baby photos

1475
01:11:50,439 --> 01:11:53,360
Speaker 2: if that's your jam, and the occasional podcast shout out

1476
01:11:53,360 --> 01:11:55,320
Speaker 2: and the Alley on the Run Show. Everywhere that you

1477
01:11:55,400 --> 01:11:58,240
Speaker 2: listen to podcasts, if you're listening to Hurdle right now,

1478
01:11:58,240 --> 01:12:01,280
Speaker 2: which you obviously are click the lateen tab. It's most

1479
01:12:01,360 --> 01:12:01,960
Speaker 2: likely in there.

1480
01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:03,519
Speaker 3: It's definitely in there.

1481
01:12:03,920 --> 01:12:07,839
Speaker 1: I am at Emily a body, Another hurdle conquered.

1482
01:12:08,240 --> 01:12:09,320
Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time.