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Speaker 1: I'm Bradley Johnson with one eight hundred duy away. Not

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Speaker 1: getting behind the wheel after drinking is the best choice,

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Speaker 1: But if you're pulled over, the next best choice it's

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Speaker 1: to call one eight hundred duy away. Time for your

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Speaker 1: brand new phone tap it's broken jubal in the morning,

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Speaker 1: and today I call a doctor's office regarding a routine

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Speaker 1: medical procedure that I had done not too long ago,

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Speaker 1: and I am super mad. The reason it's because I'm

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Speaker 1: not happy with the results and they better do something

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Speaker 1: about it right now. In your phone tap, it's another

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Speaker 1: on the twenties. Tell me I'm a modern lace center.

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Speaker 1: How can I help you? Yes, I would like to

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Speaker 1: speak with the office manager. This is her. My name

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Speaker 1: is Rebecca. How can I help you? Rebecca? Yep, you're

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Speaker 1: the person they told me who handles complaints. Yes, that's me. Yes,

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Speaker 1: that is you, and I have a complaint. Okay, let

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Speaker 1: me just put you on a brief hole and I'll

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Speaker 1: be right back. What's your name? My name is Casey. Reback, okay, Casey.

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Speaker 1: One second? Okay, I got a pen and paper, so

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Speaker 1: could you spell your name for me? Casey? Your last

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Speaker 1: name rybac K okay, and what is the nature of

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Speaker 1: your complaint? Well, the nature of my complaint is I'm

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Speaker 1: unhappy with my lasic procedure. Okay. I'm sorry to hear that, Casey,

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Speaker 1: Can you be more specific, Yes, it's ruining my life.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, I don't understand. Is ruining your life meaning

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Speaker 1: you're having blurred vision? Are you expire? No? Actually it's

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Speaker 1: quite the opposite. It's perfect. I don't understand what you mean.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean perfect? Well, after my lasic procedure,

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Speaker 1: I went back home and the first person I saw

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Speaker 1: was my wife, and news to me, didn't look like

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Speaker 1: my wife. I'm not sure I'm following what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: She looked a lot different than what I'm used to Okay,

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Speaker 1: you mean clearer, Yes, extremely clear. I haven't had good

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Speaker 1: vision since we met, and now I can see her perfectly.

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Speaker 1: I'm not following this is okay. Because of your company

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Speaker 1: and the LASIK procedure, you're going to ruin my marriage.

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Speaker 1: I can actually see what my wife looks like now,

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Speaker 1: and it's horrible. I'm not sure how we can help

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Speaker 1: you with that, Casey, I mean if your visions Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll give you an example. For the last decade, I

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Speaker 1: thought my wife looked exactly like the actress Nicole Kidman.

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Speaker 1: You know who that is. Oh, yes, she's beautiful, Yes

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Speaker 1: she is. But after Lasik, my wife looks more like

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Speaker 1: Carrot Top. And I found that out the hard way.

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Speaker 1: Would you want to be married to Carrot Top? I

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Speaker 1: don't think so, mister Ryde. I'm sorry that I've never

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Speaker 1: had a complaint like this before, and I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: how we can help you with me. Well, you've got

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Speaker 1: to do something about this. I have no idea. I mean,

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Speaker 1: maybe we can set up an appointment where you can

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Speaker 1: see the doctor I can talk. Well, I think I

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Speaker 1: think that you need to unlaser my eyes or d

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Speaker 1: laser or whatever it is, and I need a full refund.

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Speaker 1: It really doesn't work that way. What we do here

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Speaker 1: is we're in the business of correcting people's visions. Well,

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Speaker 1: you're in the business of ruining marriages. You're in the

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Speaker 1: business of ruining marriages, mister Rayback. It sounds like your

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Speaker 1: vision has improved. Yes, it has, unfortunately, and I brought

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Speaker 1: my wife with me to the consultations. Somebody could have

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Speaker 1: pulled me aside and said, hey, just so you know,

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Speaker 1: when your vision gets better, you're going to be extremely disappointed.

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Speaker 1: I would have appreciated that honesty. That's very insensitive and rude.

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Speaker 1: We would never tell you that your wife looks one way.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's why I'm sure people noticed. I mean,

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Speaker 1: take one look at her. If you've got good vision

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Speaker 1: and you can see the resemblance to carrot Top, I

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Speaker 1: feel really uncomfortable. Mister Ry, Oh you're uncomfortable. Let me

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Speaker 1: ask you a question. Are you married? I'm sorry that

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Speaker 1: none of your business. Okay, Well, let's say you were

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Speaker 1: married to somebody you thought was a very like a

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Speaker 1: John Stamos type character, and then you got your eyes

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Speaker 1: done and you come home and it's another John who's

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Speaker 1: not as attractive as the Stamos one. Give me a

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Speaker 1: John that you don't find attractive. I don't know any

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Speaker 1: John's and you don't know any unattractive John's. Right, It

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Speaker 1: has nothing to do with what my job entails. You know.

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Speaker 1: The kind of complaint that you're making has nothing to

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Speaker 1: do with your vision. There has to be a John

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Speaker 1: in the world that you don't find attractive. And if

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Speaker 1: you thought you were with a John Stamos looking guy

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Speaker 1: and you came home and you saw ugly John, you'd

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Speaker 1: be upset. This is getting really uncomfortable for me, and

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Speaker 1: I don't like that you're asking me about whether I'm

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Speaker 1: married and what John is attractive. This is completely out

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Speaker 1: of line and inappropriate, and I'm going to end this. Well,

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Speaker 1: what if you thought you were married to John Stamos

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Speaker 1: and you came home and it looked like a mashup

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Speaker 1: of your co workers Grace and Bryant. What what are

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Speaker 1: you talking about? Well, I'm talking about the fact that

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Speaker 1: your co workers Grayson Brian set you up for a

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Speaker 1: prank phone call. What do you mean, I mean that

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Speaker 1: this is actually Jewel from Brook and Jewel in the

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Speaker 1: Morning doing a phone tap on you and your co workers.

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Speaker 1: Grayson Bryan set you up. Oh my god, you really

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Speaker 1: had me going. They wanted to play a joke on

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Speaker 1: you because I guess you'd deal with all kinds of

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Speaker 1: weird complaints. Yes I do, but never anybody that has

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Speaker 1: perfect vision. If you found out you were married to

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Speaker 1: Carrot Top, you'd be upset, I promise you. Oh come on,

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Speaker 1: poor Carrot Top, you got that bad lucky plea is

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Speaker 1: no John Stamos. Well that's for sure up every morning

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Speaker 1: with