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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota and this is Carly, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors to keep the show alive.

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Speaker 3: We looked up our daughter's new house online and her

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Speaker 3: husband was not happy.

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Speaker 4: Was it ugly?

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Speaker 3: In twenty twenty one, my youngest daughter, Nadia Nadia Nadia,

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Speaker 3: my youngest daughter, Nadia, who was then twenty three year

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Speaker 3: reconnected with the guy that she had gone to high

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Speaker 3: school with, named Ray, who was twenty four at the time.

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Speaker 3: They had just they had been just friends in high school,

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Speaker 3: went to different colleges and hadn't kept in touch. By

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Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Particular Hope eighty four to

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Speaker 3: fifty nine. And if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay Storytime separated it And

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Speaker 3: I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, and we're here to give.

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Speaker 4: Good advice goofy. But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 4: We just know what we would do in this situation,

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Speaker 4: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 4: So Opie sets.

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Speaker 3: As fate would have it, they ended up taking jobs

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Speaker 3: in the same city and found each other via social media,

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Speaker 3: beginning to meet up. During that time, Nadia rented a

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Speaker 3: room in a shared house and Ray rented an apartment.

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Speaker 3: Ray had been house shopping and decided that the time

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Speaker 3: was right to buy a home. By this time, Nadia

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Speaker 3: and Ray had been seeing each other for about six

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Speaker 3: months and planned to move into the new house together.

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Speaker 3: Ray was proud of being a new homeowner and posted

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Speaker 3: a picture of himself in front of the porch on

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Speaker 3: the house on social media. Nadia was also happy about

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Speaker 3: the new house, and we chatted about what things she

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Speaker 3: and Ray might need, the neighborhood, and the proximity of

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Speaker 3: the house to her work. During the conversation, Nadia mentioned

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Speaker 3: the street name, but not the actual address because the

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Speaker 3: house purchase had not gone to closing yet and they

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Speaker 3: hadn't moved in. Several weeks went by, and they eventually

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Speaker 3: moved into the new house together. The city where they

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Speaker 3: lived is about a six to seven hour drive from

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Speaker 3: where my husband and I lived, so we weren't able

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Speaker 3: to visit them due to our work schedules At the time.

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Speaker 3: My husband and I were looking at homes on various

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Speaker 3: internet sites as we were planning to downsize. Since we

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Speaker 3: were now empty nesters, we explored housing options in several

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Speaker 3: different states. One day, it occurred to me that since

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Speaker 3: I knew the city and street of Ray's house, I

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Speaker 3: might be able to do a virtual tour online if

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Speaker 3: the listing was still up. I looked it up on

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Speaker 3: real est I looked it up on a real estate

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Speaker 3: site under recently sold, and quickly recognized the correct house

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Speaker 3: because Ray had posted that photo on the front porch,

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Speaker 3: which showed the house number. My husband and I looked

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Speaker 3: at the house photos on the real estate website and

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Speaker 3: thought it looked.

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Speaker 4: Small, but very nice. We were happy for them.

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Speaker 3: Around that time, one of my sons texted me to

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Speaker 3: ask for Nadia and raise address so he could send

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Speaker 3: them a housewarming gift. Since I knew the address from

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Speaker 3: Ray's social media post and the real estate site, I

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Speaker 3: gave it to him. Two weeks later, I got a

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Speaker 3: call from Nadia just to chat, or so, I thought,

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Speaker 3: after the usual how are you doing exchange? She said, so,

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Speaker 3: we got a package from her brother, but I don't

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Speaker 3: know how we got our address since we didn't give

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Speaker 3: it to him.

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Speaker 4: I volunteered that he had asked me, and I gave

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Speaker 4: it to him.

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Speaker 3: Nadia, in a slightly severe tone, then asked.

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Speaker 4: How did you get our address?

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Speaker 5: How?

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Speaker 4: Why is she so I don't know?

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Speaker 6: Maybe she doesn't have a good relationship with her parents

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Speaker 6: and they don't fully get.

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Speaker 4: That I don't know. I mean, yeah, maybe I don't understand.

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Speaker 4: I explained exactly how I knew it.

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Speaker 3: She confessed that she had suspected, and proceeded to scold

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Speaker 3: me for giving out her address without her permission and

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Speaker 3: looking up their house without asking Ray first. Her level

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Speaker 3: of outrage seemed very strange and out of character. I

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Speaker 3: asked if she would have given me the address if

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Speaker 3: I called and asked.

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Speaker 4: She said yes, but the point was that I didn't ask.

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Speaker 3: I replied that because I already knew the address, I

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Speaker 3: had no reason to call and ask. The conversation felt

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Speaker 3: odd or context. Nadia, her sister, and her two brothers

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Speaker 3: all love each other and have very good relationships. We

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Speaker 3: spent holidays together when we can keep in touch via

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Speaker 3: texts and calls throughout the year. There are no hard

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Speaker 3: feelings or awkward situations that would make Nadia not want

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Speaker 3: any of her siblings to know where she lived. The

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Speaker 3: big problem here was that Ra was offended and angry because,

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Speaker 3: as Nadia explained, he is shy and a very private person.

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Speaker 3: Nadia would likely have been fine with me giving her

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Speaker 3: brother the address or looking at online photos.

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Speaker 4: But she was trying to support her boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: Ray believe that we needed to apologize for both looking

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Speaker 3: at the house photos and giving their address to her brother.

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Speaker 3: We agreed to call them back. After discussing it, My

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Speaker 3: husband and I set up a phone call with right.

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Speaker 3: We apologize for giving out the address without asking because that.

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Speaker 4: May have been out of order.

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Speaker 3: We explained that it never occurred to us that either

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Speaker 3: of them would want to keep their address secret from

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Speaker 3: the family.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a weird situation. Honestly, I think you just apologize.

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Speaker 6: You say sorry, I didn't realize that would be an issue.

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Speaker 6: I'll make sure to do that in the future.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I say anything else, Like, is this some

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Speaker 3: sort of boundary that I'm just like not aware of it,

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Speaker 3: that there's like other parts to this boundary that you're

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Speaker 3: not comfortable with something like that.

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Speaker 6: I don't even think you argue it. I think you go, okay, totally,

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Speaker 6: she's upset about this.

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Speaker 7: Whatever. Yeah, so sorry, won't do that again.

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Speaker 3: I could so see this being the type of uh

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Speaker 3: like story where like this may reminds me of a

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Speaker 3: lot of situations where we'd get the kids side of

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Speaker 3: the story and they're like, oh my gosh, my mom

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Speaker 3: is crossing all these boundaries. It's like so overbearing and

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Speaker 3: doing all of this stuff, and the mom is like

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Speaker 3: probably innocent in it, and like, because there's a lot

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Speaker 3: where it's like, oh my god, mom, you have to

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Speaker 3: quit it, Like it doesn't even seem like she's innocent,

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Speaker 3: like she knows exactly what boundaries she's crossing, but there

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Speaker 3: are some where it's like she seems like she has

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Speaker 3: good intentions, yeah, no malice ones. And I'm just imagining

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Speaker 3: this being like that other side of the perspective another

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Speaker 3: and she's like, my mom's the worst. And now the

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Speaker 3: mom is just like, I don't know what happened. I

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Speaker 3: don't know what this is strange. So maybe there's more

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Speaker 3: to the story of like boundaries that we just don't

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Speaker 3: know about because the mom doesn't realize their boundaries or yeah,

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Speaker 3: but that's total speculation. We do have a little bit

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Speaker 3: more to the story. We did not apologize for looking

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Speaker 3: at the house photos. We said that we're sorry that

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Speaker 3: it made him feel like his privacy was invaded, and

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Speaker 3: that it was never our intention to hurt or upset him.

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Speaker 3: That while we were browsing dozens of homes on real

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Speaker 3: estate sites, we looked at his out of general curiosity

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Speaker 3: and did not think it was wrong. We expressed hope

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Speaker 3: that he would accept our apology. Ray seemed okay at

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Speaker 3: the end of the call, but this did not satisfy him.

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Speaker 3: He was still angry because we would not say that

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Speaker 3: it was wrong of us to look at the house

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Speaker 3: pictures without his permission. Even now, four years later, after

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Speaker 3: he married our daughter, a wedding that we helped pay for,

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Speaker 3: attended family gatherings at our house, and received nothing but

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Speaker 3: kindness from us, he still won't speak to us directly

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Speaker 3: when we visit.

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Speaker 4: He makes sure that he's out of the house when

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Speaker 4: we arrived.

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Speaker 7: That's really concerned.

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Speaker 6: If I were Opie's daughter, I'd been pretty concerned about

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Speaker 6: my partner not ever wanting to see my parents after

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Speaker 6: just that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, after that one thing like that was especially if

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Speaker 3: she didn't think that that was wrong. Yeah, Like, if

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Speaker 3: you don't think that something your parents did was wrong,

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Speaker 3: and then your partner is like so mad at them.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, it's like.

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Speaker 4: You gotta, you gotta.

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Speaker 3: Really, it's good to keep other people's you know, emotions

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Speaker 3: and experiences in in mind and to consider all of that.

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Speaker 4: But at the end of the day, when someone's holding a.

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Speaker 3: Grudge for four years and it doesn't even want to

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Speaker 3: be around over giving an ad or like finding an

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Speaker 3: address out.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, like so something that would have been given anyway.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that is something that you want to pay attention to.

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Speaker 3: That's not something that you like, Like, if you don't

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Speaker 3: agree with that and they're having that reaction, you should

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Speaker 3: raise an eye row at that for sure. But Opie

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Speaker 3: finishes this off with am I the a hole for

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Speaker 3: and not apologizing specifically for looking up my daughter and

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Speaker 3: her boyfriend's house and viewing the photos online without asking

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Speaker 3: his permission?

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Speaker 4: And we have your answer.

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Speaker 3: No, No, Like it's a big jump to you know,

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Speaker 3: jump to controlling or whatever. But I I could understand

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Speaker 3: if this is some sort of like power dynamic that

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Speaker 3: he wanted, Like he just kind of felt like he

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Speaker 3: lost power in a sense of like, oh, these people

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Speaker 3: like found out my address and I didn't like I

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Speaker 3: didn't do anything to like I wasn't involved in that.

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Speaker 3: Maybe that kind of spooked him a little bit in

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Speaker 3: a way, but it still is like not not the

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Speaker 3: right reaction from him, even if he was kind of

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Speaker 3: like scared by it.

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Speaker 4: I guess yeah, so I agree, And that's the end

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Speaker 4: of this story. We're going on to the next one.

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Speaker 6: I refuse to call my step mom mom, and now

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Speaker 6: my family thinks I'm the villain.

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Speaker 4: Well, she's not my mom technically.

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Speaker 6: I lost my mom when I was seven after a

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Speaker 6: long battle with health issues following the birth of my

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Speaker 6: younger sister, who is now twenty. My dad pawned us

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Speaker 6: off on his family members for a few years after

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Speaker 6: mom's passing, but refused any help from Mom's family since

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Speaker 6: he knew they would have offered to take us in.

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Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from Sophia and Ayah, and

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Speaker 6: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 6: the r slash Okay storytime, separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Angie,

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Speaker 6: and we're here to give good advice. Goofy, But we

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Speaker 6: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

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Speaker 6: So just know what you would do in the comments

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Speaker 6: and OPI says my father wants to keep control, and

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Speaker 6: he essentially took us home to be fun time dad.

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Speaker 6: His family helps for a while, but once they got tired,

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Speaker 6: he found a woman to marry and let her take over.

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Speaker 6: During this time, he limited her contact with mom's family.

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Speaker 6: We were lucky to see them once a year, and

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Speaker 6: he didn't like me even talking to them on the phone.

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Speaker 6: I was ten when he remarried. He had known her

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Speaker 6: only a couple of months before marrying, and she moved

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Speaker 6: in two weeks before the wedding. That's when he handed

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Speaker 6: us off to her. She told me and my sister,

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Speaker 6: who was three at the time, that she was our

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Speaker 6: new mom and would take care of us now. I

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Speaker 6: got mad, yelled that she wasn't my mom, and she

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Speaker 6: told me I didn't have to feel that way immediately,

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Speaker 6: but that eventually i'd.

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Speaker 7: See she was her new mom and I couldn't stop it.

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Speaker 6: I yelled more and stormed off. That was the start

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Speaker 6: of me hating her for insisting she was my new mom.

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Speaker 6: She constantly tried to touch me. I repeatedly slapped her

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Speaker 6: hands away. She tried to get hugs for me, saying

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Speaker 6: it was a sign we were bonding. When I turned twelve,

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Speaker 6: I refused to acknowledge her attempts at conversation or affection.

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Speaker 6: She was angry, I was angry, and she had always

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Speaker 6: tell me not to ignore my mom. My dad stayed

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Speaker 6: totally out of it. He remained Disney dad or fun

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Speaker 6: time dad. She showed up to take us places, but

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Speaker 6: wasn't involved in actual parenting or support. When I sought

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Speaker 6: support from him, he used he told me to talk

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Speaker 6: to your mo. I used to talk to my sister

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Speaker 6: about our mom, which my dad's wife hated. She accused

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Speaker 6: me of trying to alienate my sister and we'd fight

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Speaker 6: about it. She called it disrespectful to her as the

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Speaker 6: mom in the house. Between ages fifteen to seventeen, our

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Speaker 6: conflict escalated, and I sometimes wished that she passed away

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Speaker 6: in my head. Eventually, I left and moved in with

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Speaker 6: my maternal grandparents at seventeen, not even a senior yet.

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Speaker 6: My sister clearly loved my dad's wife, and I felt

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Speaker 6: there was no reason for me to stay. The fights

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Speaker 6: were getting tense enough to risk turning physical. I haven't

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Speaker 6: seen or spoken to my dad or that woman since then.

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Speaker 6: My contact with my sister was very limited until a

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Speaker 6: couple of years ago. We are not very close, not

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Speaker 6: just due to the seven year age gap, but also

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Speaker 6: because of the family situation. My sister is disconnected from

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Speaker 6: my mom's side, and I cannot stand the woman she

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Speaker 6: calls mom. However, we do have a relationship. My paternal

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Speaker 6: grandparents initially said they understood and supported my feelings. That

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Speaker 6: changed after I got engaged. When I sent out Save

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00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,720
Speaker 6: the Dates without including my dad or his wife, they

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Speaker 6: asked why I hadn't reached out to apologize or shown

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Speaker 6: remorse for my teenage actions. They said my hostility.

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Speaker 7: Had terrorized the house.

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Speaker 6: And put her in a difficult position as the mom

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Speaker 6: of the house. I asked where this was coming from

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Speaker 6: after years of support. They explained that they believed supporting

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Speaker 6: me as a teen and young adult would lead me

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Speaker 6: to see I was wrong. They expected me to regret

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Speaker 6: rejecting the chance to have a second mom and to

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Speaker 6: see my behavior you're as cruel.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's frustrating that they were so understanding, Yeah, when

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Speaker 3: it was like happening, and then now they're like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: well you shouldn't do that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: No, we were actually doing that in hopes that you

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Speaker 6: just forgive you your new mom.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you just do would come around eventually, but it's

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Speaker 3: like you're not.

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Speaker 7: So we're taking away all of our support.

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Speaker 3: It's like, hello, it was not just a phase.

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Speaker 4: Those were my real feelings.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, especially when this is oh, paternal grandparents. Okay, I

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Speaker 6: was gonna say I thought this was maybe maternal grandparents. Yeah,

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Speaker 6: I was much Yeah, yikes.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that's great because I think like it might be

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Speaker 3: a generational thing too, of like with you have to

283
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Speaker 3: with weddings and stuff, there's a lot of tradition involved

284
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Speaker 3: in a lot of like, oh, well, such a big

285
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,840
Speaker 3: thing in your life is happening, like you should make amends,

286
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Speaker 3: Like you have to do this because this is your family,

287
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Speaker 3: you know that kind of stuff. But you know, I

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Speaker 3: feel like depending on the family situation and as generations

289
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Speaker 3: move along, a lot of it is kind of like, well, no,

290
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Speaker 3: I mean, this is what happened. So I don't want

291
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Speaker 3: to just push through just because he's technically my dad, Like,

292
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Speaker 3: I don't think he deserves to be around me on

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Speaker 3: my wedding day.

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Speaker 4: I don't need to have him there if I don't

295
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Speaker 4: want him there. Yeah, agreed, So that might be just

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Speaker 4: swear there.

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Speaker 7: Agreed.

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Speaker 6: Not agreeing in vain, my name is Sophia.

299
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Speaker 7: I refuse to take that blame.

300
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Speaker 6: I told them nothing would make me apologize for someone

301
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Speaker 6: insisting she was my new mom when she wasn't.

302
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,880
Speaker 7: I told them they were wrong for the new mom

303
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Speaker 7: as she was well. I said, you don't replace a

304
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Speaker 7: parent when they pass away. They said it wasn't.

305
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Speaker 6: Replacing, but adding fill the missing space. I said, you

306
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Speaker 6: don't even do that unless you are really young, like

307
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Speaker 6: my sister. I explained my mom, though deceased, was the

308
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Speaker 6: only woman to hold that title, and insisting on sharing

309
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Speaker 6: it would never endear.

310
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Speaker 7: Someone to me.

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Speaker 6: They said they didn't think it was a big enough

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Speaker 6: issue to warrant my reaction. They acknowledged her attempts to

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Speaker 6: force physical contact, but argued I was too harsh in

314
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Speaker 6: slapapping her hands away. I said, I disagreed and reminded

315
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,840
Speaker 6: them I could not see her as a mother figure.

316
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Speaker 6: They expressed disappointment, but admitted that they could not understand me.

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Speaker 6: They said a good person should see how wrong I

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Speaker 6: was and feel remorse. Am I the a whole? And

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00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:19,760
Speaker 6: there are some comments? But no, yeah, you're not the

320
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Speaker 6: a whole?

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Speaker 3: You don't understand your experience with this they have to

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Speaker 3: live with her. Yeah, and I mean everything that they

323
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,480
Speaker 3: heard about it was probably just like she's.

324
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Speaker 6: Trying to be kind to OPI and be a figure

325
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Speaker 6: and ops being awful to her.

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Speaker 3: That's probably what they're hearing, right because I mean when

327
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Speaker 3: you when this all started, when you were eight years old?

328
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Speaker 7: Yeah, seven years old.

329
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Speaker 4: Seven years old, Like you're not going to.

330
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Speaker 6: Oh wait, no, no, sorry, cause it was seven years

331
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Speaker 6: old when she lost her mother and then I think

332
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Speaker 6: nine years old when this new wife came in.

333
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Speaker 3: So maybe so yeah, either way, I mean, like you're

334
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,280
Speaker 3: not the parents. The grandparents aren't going to like listen

335
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,120
Speaker 3: to a nine year old about what's exactly going on,

336
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,480
Speaker 3: Like they're probably not talking like that. They're just I

337
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,600
Speaker 3: mean they would probably listen, but they just aren't having

338
00:14:58,600 --> 00:14:59,520
Speaker 3: those conversations.

339
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Speaker 7: Yeah.

340
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,720
Speaker 3: So it's like, yeah, they're gonna hear everything from this

341
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,600
Speaker 3: other mother, and it's like obviously she's gonna have a

342
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Speaker 3: different person.

343
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Speaker 7: It's a huge perspective.

344
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, comment one says, so they blame you, but don't

345
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,400
Speaker 6: see how that pos of a father alienated your mother,

346
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,560
Speaker 6: your mother's actual family, and eliminated the memory for your sister.

347
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:20,560
Speaker 6: Regarding her biomom. Right, blame the innocent, because how dare

348
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,080
Speaker 6: you blame their family and their son for treating you

349
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:27,520
Speaker 6: like crap? Actions have consequences. You didn't want a new mom,

350
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,400
Speaker 6: This situation is ridiculous. But oh, pe definitely not the

351
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:35,320
Speaker 6: angle and OP says they don't as far as their concerned.

352
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,800
Speaker 6: Dad did his best. I feel that's a cop out

353
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,480
Speaker 6: because if he wasn't going to raise us, he could

354
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:44,000
Speaker 6: have led family members who wanted to do it. Instead,

355
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,080
Speaker 6: he found someone to do it for him that kept

356
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,200
Speaker 6: us with them, to play the fun guy whenever he

357
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,040
Speaker 6: felt like it. In doing so, he let my sister

358
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Speaker 6: grow up with mom being someone who shouldn't be talked about.

359
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:58,040
Speaker 6: Because imagine the poor little wife is feeling jealous of

360
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,360
Speaker 6: a deceased woman. Yeah that's crity that Yeah, imagine being

361
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:06,960
Speaker 6: jealous of your like step child's yeah, like deceased parent.

362
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,640
Speaker 3: And that's why your literal child stepchild. Like how old

363
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,360
Speaker 3: is the sibling? Like, what like three or something.

364
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,520
Speaker 7: When she must have been a lot younger.

365
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,920
Speaker 6: I think he said there was a seven years difference,

366
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,040
Speaker 6: so yeah, she must have been about three, yeah, yeah, yeah.

367
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:20,800
Speaker 7: Two or three.

368
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,920
Speaker 3: Imagine saying that like, you can't talk about a three

369
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:28,080
Speaker 3: year old's deceased mother because I'm jealous because that's my

370
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,000
Speaker 3: husband's ex wife.

371
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Speaker 6: So awful to imagine this, this young girl growing up

372
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:37,640
Speaker 6: without any memory of her her mother, or not memory,

373
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:41,240
Speaker 6: but like any any information about her mom. Yeah, yeah,

374
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,240
Speaker 6: because articulous, no one will talk about her.

375
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,760
Speaker 7: He gets too much credit for fighting to keep us.

376
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,800
Speaker 6: In My opinion reply says, maybe he did do his best.

377
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,520
Speaker 6: It's just that his best was a complete failure and

378
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,240
Speaker 6: also revealed the shortcomings as a human being, and that

379
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,440
Speaker 6: his best was so cataclysmically bad that there is nothing

380
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,520
Speaker 6: to be gained from associating with him in any way.

381
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,240
Speaker 6: Opie says, I don't know if I'd say that was

382
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,600
Speaker 6: his best. His best would generally have been putting us

383
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,520
Speaker 6: first and not himself. I suppose in his own head

384
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,959
Speaker 6: it could be his best, but either way, he failed

385
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,000
Speaker 6: us so bad that I find no value in having

386
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:12,920
Speaker 6: him in my life.

387
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,360
Speaker 7: And that is the end of that story. Folks.

388
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,399
Speaker 2: My mother in law suspected me of infidelity. Now I

389
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:20,760
Speaker 2: want to tell her to f off.

390
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,639
Speaker 7: It's none of your business.

391
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 2: My partner and I have been together for twelve going

392
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:29,520
Speaker 2: on thirteen years now. Eight years ago, his mother lost

393
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,760
Speaker 2: her driver's license due to degenerative.

394
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,920
Speaker 8: Issues in her brain from a stroke she had.

395
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,919
Speaker 2: When that happened, it wasn't long before we gave up

396
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,440
Speaker 2: our place in a small city and moved up north

397
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,200
Speaker 2: to a much smaller town to help her out.

398
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,040
Speaker 8: By the way, this comes from users Sassy Redhead and if.

399
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,639
Speaker 2: You want us to meet your own stories, go to

400
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,879
Speaker 2: the art slas show Gee story Time subbed it. I'm Dakota,

401
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, and we had to give you good advice. Goofully,

402
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:52,600
Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

403
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:53,960
Speaker 2: what we'd do, so let us know what you would

404
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,119
Speaker 2: do in the comments. As Op says, in the beginning,

405
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,719
Speaker 2: things were fine, but as time has gone on she

406
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,120
Speaker 2: and I I seem to be having more and more issues,

407
00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:05,080
Speaker 2: and it's coming to the point now where I want

408
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,800
Speaker 2: to pack my things and leave. For years now, ever

409
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,639
Speaker 2: since she lost her license, she's been asking me weird

410
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 2: and pointed questions with a strong undertone of accusation. It

411
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,720
Speaker 2: doesn't matter if I'm going to work or to hang

412
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:22,320
Speaker 2: out with some friends, There's always seems to be some

413
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,080
Speaker 2: sort of problem whenever I go somewhere, Where are you going?

414
00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:27,400
Speaker 8: What time will you be back?

415
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:28,520
Speaker 9: Will you be home for dinner?

416
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 8: What about Luna the dog?

417
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,480
Speaker 2: These questions used to be minor and occasional, but now

418
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,040
Speaker 2: this happens even if I'm just going to the grocery store.

419
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,959
Speaker 2: February of this year, I was informed that my mom's

420
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,200
Speaker 2: brother has been in the hospital because.

421
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,520
Speaker 8: He has Stage four can his lyrics.

422
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,439
Speaker 2: This has been especially tough to watch happen, as he

423
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,159
Speaker 2: is a musician and can no longer sing or talk.

424
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,800
Speaker 2: He didn't have kids, and I'm the closest thing he has.

425
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,240
Speaker 2: I like visiting, not only to spend time with him,

426
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,280
Speaker 2: but it makes him happy. He still lives around the

427
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:01,000
Speaker 2: corner from my old place and my oldmeighborhood, two and

428
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,160
Speaker 2: a half hours away from where I currently live.

429
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:04,960
Speaker 8: In the beginning, when.

430
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:08,240
Speaker 2: I started to go visit, it was very noticeable problem

431
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 2: for my mother in law, mainly because I can't bring

432
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,560
Speaker 2: my dog. But I always felt intuitively that the dog

433
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,399
Speaker 2: was being used as a scapegoat for something else. She

434
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:22,240
Speaker 2: acts very unexcited, almost bothered about the fact that I'm

435
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,720
Speaker 2: going to see him for a couple of days. When

436
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,360
Speaker 2: I confronted her about my uncle being an issue for her.

437
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,400
Speaker 2: I always make sure my partner is there as a witness,

438
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 2: and I am very very respectful because I was taught

439
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:37,240
Speaker 2: more respect than that. She plays it all very innocently,

440
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 2: as if she wasn't being passive aggressive to me before

441
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:40,800
Speaker 2: I left in person.

442
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,359
Speaker 8: She's made of darkness. Hmmm.

443
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,399
Speaker 2: She plays it off very innocently, as if she wasn't

444
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,919
Speaker 2: being passive aggressive to me before I left in person

445
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,440
Speaker 2: and while I was there through text message. Now, let

446
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,879
Speaker 2: me make it clear that I am no fool. I

447
00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,400
Speaker 2: am positive that my partners is having a I am

448
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 2: positive that my partner is having conversations about me with

449
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,200
Speaker 2: his mom while I am not there. I'm fully aware

450
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 2: that he is jealous and insecure. He has never been

451
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 2: outright aggressive with me and is supportive of me going

452
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:12,120
Speaker 2: to see.

453
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 8: My uncle, but he wants me to be in constant

454
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,040
Speaker 8: communication with him, and I refuse.

455
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:17,119
Speaker 9: To do that.

456
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 6: So the problem isn't just mother in law, it's your

457
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,399
Speaker 6: partner is also feeding into that delusion.

458
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,120
Speaker 8: That's right.

459
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 2: I am not going to give constant attention to him.

460
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 2: I invited him everywhere I go. He's an anxious homebody

461
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 2: who doesn't like to go anywhere and wants to sleep

462
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,080
Speaker 2: in his own bed. I get it, but I'm not

463
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:39,840
Speaker 2: going to let those issues become my problems as well.

464
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,479
Speaker 2: I've always been a social person who likes to go

465
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 2: out and have fun. Last night, while I was driving

466
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 2: to my uncle's place, I was on the phone with

467
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,959
Speaker 2: my partner while he was walking our dog. He got

468
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,639
Speaker 2: frustrated while having a phone in one hand and the

469
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,159
Speaker 2: leash in the other, and because it was dark, he

470
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,120
Speaker 2: hung up on me and said he'll call me back,

471
00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,919
Speaker 2: and he never did. Drive was one of the smoothest

472
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 2: I've ever had going to my uncle's place. There was

473
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,199
Speaker 2: no nighttime construction on the highway, no traffic jams, and

474
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,400
Speaker 2: I made it there in record time. I walked in

475
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,879
Speaker 2: and he was resting. He got up right away and

476
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 2: was excited to see me. We watched some TV and

477
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 2: chatted a bit, but I was tired and went up

478
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 2: to bed.

479
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,920
Speaker 8: After about two hours of arrival.

480
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 2: I completely forgot about my partner because, to be frank,

481
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 2: I'm not as needy as he is. I woke up

482
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,360
Speaker 2: to three text messages, two from him and one from

483
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,360
Speaker 2: my mother in law. My partner asked did you make

484
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,640
Speaker 2: it there in one and the other saying whatever at

485
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 2: around three am. At eight thirty am, I received a

486
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 2: text from his mother saying, why didn't you call last night?

487
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,360
Speaker 2: He thinks you're screwing around on him, and honestly, I've

488
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 2: thought that for a while.

489
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 9: Now.

490
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 6: I think that if your partner thinks that about you,

491
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 6: then that relationship is pretty much over.

492
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,400
Speaker 8: I was shocked and depaulled. I had no idea whether

493
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 8: to freak out or move out.

494
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,879
Speaker 2: But every time I go to see a movie with

495
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 2: friends or go to work on my day off to

496
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 2: take care of a client, I've deep down always known

497
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 2: that all that passive aggression was.

498
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 8: Really about this.

499
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 2: I don't even know if that's what it's about, or

500
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,240
Speaker 2: if she is just jealous of me, jealous of the

501
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,160
Speaker 2: fact that I drive and she doesn't, and I can

502
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 2: go see my friends and take trips whenever I want

503
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 2: and she can't.

504
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 8: That would be pretty frustrating. I don't know if the

505
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 8: answer to that frustration is that I take it out

506
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,360
Speaker 8: on you and you're cheating on my shot.

507
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 6: Well, I feel like maybe she said that, and then

508
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 6: the you know, Opie's partner kind of believed it a

509
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,679
Speaker 6: little bit and he's like, yeah, you're probably right, and

510
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 6: then she got You know, it's like this little echo

511
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 6: chamber whether each pushing each other further and furthers.

512
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:45,160
Speaker 2: A woman's intuition is never wrong, especially when she's young.

513
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 1: On me.

514
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really starting to feel like she just doesn't

515
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 2: like me and only puts up with me because if

516
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 2: I leave, she knows her son will too and she'll

517
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 2: be alone.

518
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 8: I've always tried to be the bigger person. I practice stoicism.

519
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 2: And I am not able to stoop to the level

520
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 2: of a seventy year old, in secure, passive, aggressive, manipulative person.

521
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 2: But my patience is wearing thin, and part of me

522
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 2: thinks it would feel really good to just.

523
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 8: Let her have it while I'm on my way out

524
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:12,400
Speaker 8: the door.

525
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:12,959
Speaker 7: Yeah.

526
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 6: I don't think the issue is just the mother in law,

527
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 6: as I've been saying.

528
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 7: Think the issue is.

529
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 6: That your partner is also bad. Your partner should be

530
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 6: on the as you should be on the way out

531
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 6: the door. You're partly dartedly toatally uli. Why does that

532
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 6: always happen at the funniest time.

533
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 8: Wrong, it's the wrong way.

534
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm putting it on the way where it stays

535
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 2: on it's the wrong way. Here is the rest of

536
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,919
Speaker 2: this story. The thing I hate the most is that

537
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 2: I still feel bad. I know her health. I know

538
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 2: with her health issues and what I perceive to be

539
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 2: mild symptoms of the start of dementia.

540
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,879
Speaker 8: My partner will be left to deal with all of

541
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 8: that on his own.

542
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole if I tell her to

543
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 2: f off and say the things that have been on

544
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:53,400
Speaker 2: my mind for the.

545
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 8: Past thirteen years.

546
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 2: I want to stand up for myself, but I also

547
00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,680
Speaker 2: don't want this to change things between me and my

548
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 2: part or possibly be the end of our relationship.

549
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 6: It should be the end of your relationship.

550
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 7: It should be.

551
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 6: The thing is that it will change things between you guys,

552
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,199
Speaker 6: and it should because your partner thinks that you're cheating on.

553
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 8: Him as he cheating on you.

554
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think you might be projecting.

555
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 2: I feel caught between a rock and a hard place,

556
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,159
Speaker 2: and any advice is welcome.

557
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 9: And that is the end.

558
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 6: I refuse to attend Thanksgiving dinner because of my mother's partner.

559
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 8: I'm not very thankful for that guy.

560
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 7: Backstory.

561
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 6: My mom, forty two, has recently started a relationship with

562
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 6: a woman named Emma. My mom lives in Tennessee and

563
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 6: Emma originally lived in Kentucky. Emma happened to be in

564
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 6: Tennessee for an extended period when they met, and she

565
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 6: had been planning to move to Tennessee soon. By the way,

566
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,439
Speaker 6: this comes from Cold Operation thirty eight sixty six, and

567
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,199
Speaker 6: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

568
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 6: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota,

569
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 6: I'm Keon, and we're here.

570
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,239
Speaker 7: To give good advice goofully, but we don't have all

571
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 7: the answers.

572
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 6: We only know what we'd do, So let us know

573
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 6: what you would do in the comments, Opie says, not

574
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 6: even a month into dating, Emma moved into a condo

575
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,640
Speaker 6: in Tennessee. Although my mom is on a lease and

576
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 6: pays rent at her apartment, she basically moved in with Emma,

577
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,439
Speaker 6: staying five to seven nights a week with almost all

578
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 6: of her belongings. I'm twenty three and don't live with

579
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 6: my mom, so this wasn't much of a concern.

580
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:23,160
Speaker 7: Initially.

581
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,400
Speaker 6: At the two month mark, they were arguing every single day.

582
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 6: Emma owns multiple businesses, including vape shops and dispensaries and

583
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 6: earns money from social media posts. A point of contention

584
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,400
Speaker 6: was that she would make posts targeting her ex wife

585
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 6: and her ex wife's spouse. Arguments often centered around inappropriate

586
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,199
Speaker 6: social media posts and boundaries about who they could text.

587
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 6: After a week of daily arguments, my mom suggested slowing

588
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 6: things down by going back to her apartment and only

589
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 6: seeing Emma two to three nights a week. Emma did

590
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 6: not like this and responded with ultimatums, threatening to cheat.

591
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 8: Yikes, threatening to cheat.

592
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 7: I'll do it. Can't cheat.

593
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:11,160
Speaker 8: You can't do that when I break up with you immediately.

594
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 6: My mom was taken aback and just wanted to collect

595
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 6: her things, but after the blow up, she didn't want

596
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 6: to go get them herself. I reached out to Emma

597
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 6: and arranged a time to collect my mom's belongings. I

598
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 6: heard her tell my mom she was not allowed inside

599
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 6: and that her things would be thrown out onto the curb.

600
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 6: When she responded to me, she called me childish, called

601
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 6: my mom childish, threatened police involvement if I showed up,

602
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 6: and said her lawyer would be involved if I texted again.

603
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 6: I informed my mom of the situation and left it

604
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 6: at that my mom ended up retrieving her belongings that night.

605
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 6: The next day, Ama posted a status on social media

606
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:53,719
Speaker 6: that I laugh reacted to.

607
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 4: I realized it was.

608
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 6: Petty and decided to unadd her so I could no

609
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 6: longer see her posts. Unfortunately, I accidentally hit the button twice,

610
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 6: which unadded her, but also sent another friend request that

611
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 6: I immediately retracted. Within sixty seconds, Emma sent me a

612
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 6: screenshot of the notification and messaged, look who is big mad.

613
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,879
Speaker 6: Prior to this, I had been extremely respectful, but at

614
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,199
Speaker 6: this point I definitely shared some words with her.

615
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 7: A week later, my mom and Emma were back together.

616
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 8: If she sent me, look Who's big Mad?

617
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 2: I would just start sending her the most unhinged memes

618
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 2: I get on my algorithm, just straight up brain rod,

619
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,439
Speaker 2: just like like every day the horse is here, and

620
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 2: then like the just the second montage of just super fast,

621
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 2: hyper pixelated distorted montages, every meme from the last seven years,

622
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 2: every Italian brain rot every day.

623
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 6: My mom now stays at her apartment most days of

624
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 6: the week, but I was still personally taken aback. I

625
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,400
Speaker 6: reminded my mom that she now had the response ability

626
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 6: of creating time for two separate parts.

627
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 7: Of her life.

628
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:07,199
Speaker 6: Before this, my siblings nineteen mail and eighteen female, and

629
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 6: I would meet up with my mom and Emma for

630
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 6: outings and dinners. Because of Emma's disrespect, I chose not

631
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 6: to be around her. My mom said she understood and

632
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 6: agreed to respect my boundary. However, Emma is odd. She

633
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 6: texts the three of us separately to say she misses

634
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 6: us or hopes we're okay. If we're on the phone

635
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 6: with our mom, Emma will message afterwards saying.

636
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 7: It was nice to hear your voice.

637
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 6: I nipped this in the bud after her second message

638
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 6: to me, but my siblings didn't want to hurt my

639
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 6: mom's feelings. I told my mom that if the situation

640
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 6: continued to make my siblings uncomfortable, she would need to

641
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 6: intervene or I would. This has been ongoing since they reconciled.

642
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 6: Now they have been together for four months.

643
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 8: Emma will be.

644
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 6: Out of state for the next two months. My mom

645
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 6: is staying at Emma's condo while caring for her dog,

646
00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 6: and Emma will not be in town for Thanksgiving, and

647
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 6: my mom wants my siblings and me to come over

648
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,720
Speaker 6: to her condo for the holiday without Emma. While it

649
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 6: would not be any better if Emma were there, being

650
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 6: in the home of someone I had been actively avoiding

651
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 6: for two months feels odd.

652
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 8: It might feel odd, It might feel odd.

653
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 7: Period.

654
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 5: That's it.

655
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 8: It's the full sentence, Yeah, what are you gonna do?

656
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 8: Live somewhere else?

657
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 6: Well, she's not living there. What Op's mom is staying

658
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 6: there and is going to have Thanksgiving there? And I

659
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 6: don't really want to have Thanksgiving. Basically, OPI's mom had

660
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 6: an apartment but now is staying at Emma's apartment again,

661
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 6: and it's going to have Thanksgiving there, even though Emma's

662
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 6: not even gonna be there. And OHP's like, I don't

663
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 6: really want to go to the person's apartment that I hate.

664
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 6: I honestly think if she's not gonna be there, it's

665
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 6: all like that big of a deal.

666
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 8: Complicated, But there's a little bit left.

667
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 6: My mom works Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday and is off Monday,

668
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 6: Tuesday and Thursday. Thanksgiving falls on a Thursday. She is

669
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 6: concerned about working a ten hour shift Wednesday, returning to

670
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 6: her apartment to cook, and then going back to check

671
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 6: on the dog. I understand this, but I have made

672
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 6: my boundary clear about not allowing the two parts of

673
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 6: her life to intertwine. We would help with the cooking

674
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 6: and cleaning while she lets the dog out once or twice.

675
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 6: It's only fifteen minutes between her apartment and Emma's condo.

676
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 6: Although I think it is odd to spend the holiday there,

677
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 6: I'm worried I might be overreacting. Would I be the

678
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 6: ale if I didn't attend Thanksgiving because of where it

679
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 6: is held? Okay, well, I have two thoughts. One, why

680
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,719
Speaker 6: can't dog come to her apartment? And then that solves everything?

681
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 6: And two, Honestly, I think you're overreacting.

682
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 7: A little bit.

683
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 6: She's not like Emma. If Emma were there, I'd be like, yeah,

684
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 6: don't go. This person has actively been like awful, and

685
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 6: you know, I understand why you want don't want to go.

686
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 7: But if she's not there.

687
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 2: I think that you take this opportunity to big dog

688
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 2: or at Thanksgiving.

689
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 7: She's not gonna be at Thanksgiving.

690
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 2: She is.

691
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 7: Emma's not gonna be there.

692
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 8: She's gonna take the dog out.

693
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 6: Oh my god, Okay, I'm gonna he's co free cap

694
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 6: As I said, they are having Thanksgiving at Emma's apartment

695
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 6: because Opie's mom is watching Emma's dog while Emma is away.

696
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 7: Emma will not be there.

697
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 6: Op is saying, I don't want to go spend Thanksgiving

698
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 6: if it's at Emma's house, even if she's not there.

699
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 8: Oh, that's why I didn't understand.

700
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 6: Exactly Stupid, I know that's what I'm saying. She's not

701
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 6: gonna be there. It's just a house at that point

702
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 6: with the dog in it. Comment Info, Why can't she

703
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 6: bring the dog to her apartment and host Thanksgiving there?

704
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 6: Are you absolutely sure that you all won't be ambushed

705
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 6: by a surprise Emma making appearance. Opie says she's concerned

706
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 6: about her landlord getting upset about the dog. According to her,

707
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 6: there are no pets allowed, period, even if they're just visiting.

708
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 6: And yes, luckily, I'm sure she won't be making a

709
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 6: surprise appearance. Gama two says you're not the ale. It

710
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 6: sounds like you're dealing with past trauma beyond your mom's relationship,

711
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 6: and you and your siblings are creating safe boundaries.

712
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 7: For your sake.

713
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 6: You also sound like a gate. You also sound like

714
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 6: a great kid with their head on straight. I'm, on

715
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,959
Speaker 6: the other hand, not so much. I wouldn't trust her

716
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 6: not to show up last minute.

717
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 2: I would just want to like look around, be like,

718
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 2: what's what's in this what's this woman's house?

719
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 8: I mean, I'm sure what's she doing you? What kind

720
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 8: of what kind of evidence can I gather? What kind

721
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 8: of look in her room?

722
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 5: Go through her drawer?

723
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 8: What kind of what kind of little secrets can I glean?

724
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 8: What kind of ammunition?

725
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 1: Can I find the things that I guess Thanksgiving?

726
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 8: And find her diary?

727
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 5: Find those microphones, those vibrating microphones?

728
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 8: No, what those microphones that look like.

729
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 7: Why would you want to find that?

730
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 8: Dolphins?

731
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 6: What if you and your siblings cooked your mom dinner

732
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 6: at your place or at a or at a sibling

733
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 6: with the most space. Also, if you don't have the

734
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 6: space to cook at your place, there are a lot

735
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 6: of places that do pre cook dinners. All you do

736
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 6: is pick them up and take them home. Pups are

737
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 6: usually left six to nine hours without being let out.

738
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 6: Anyone that works an eight hour jo can't always go

739
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 6: home to let their pops out. Unfortunately, I'm sorry your

740
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 6: mom can't see the bad attitude Emma is doling out.

741
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,080
Speaker 6: I'd be dropping that like a rock my best to

742
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 6: you and your family.

743
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 7: And that is the end of the story.

744
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 5: Hey, it's Carly, your favorite Axelottel host.

745
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 7: Here.

746
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to the stories. But here's

747
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 1: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

748
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 9: My friend doesn't want me at her wedding, but is

749
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 9: expecting a gift.

750
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 5: No, don't give her a gift.

751
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 9: No invite, no gift. My partner, Martin, took me out

752
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 9: to dinner to meet his close friend Andy and Andy's

753
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 9: fiance Anna. I thought we got along well, and Andy

754
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 9: said he hoped to see me as a guest at

755
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 9: his wedding. Oh, by the way, this comes from Honey

756
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 9: Pokey guest list. And if you want us some of

757
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 9: my own stories, where we gotta go Carly.

758
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 5: The Okay story time sub reddit. I'm Riley, I'm Carly.

759
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 9: And we're here to give goodvice. Goofy. That's our jobs.

760
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 9: Your job is to make sure we you know, read

761
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 9: it right and put your comments in the comments section. Okay, Ope,

762
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 9: he says, Martin, Andy, and Anna all work for the

763
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 9: same employee. Martin is part of the employer's leadership group,

764
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 9: but neither Andy or Anna are in his reporting line.

765
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 9: Martin's invitation was addressed to him and guessed he accepted

766
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 9: for both of us. So opium Martin er.

767
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:16,800
Speaker 5: Yes, somebody, so you did get an invice? So what happened?

768
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 9: A week later he told me about a phone call

769
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 9: from Anna. Apparently she miscalculated the number of guests they

770
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 9: could have the venue, and would I mind terribly if

771
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 9: she cut me from the guest list. Apparently Anna was

772
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 9: too embarrassed to ask me yourself. Since we'd only just met,

773
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 9: it seemed reasonable that I was one of the guests

774
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 9: to be cut. I asked more to tell them personally

775
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,919
Speaker 9: that I understood and pass on my best wishes. Then

776
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 9: Andy called me and said that he hadn't known about

777
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 9: the issues with the venue. Okay, we got some fish,

778
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 9: we're smelling air. But some of his older relatives were

779
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 9: declining due to health fears, so he would invite me personally.

780
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 9: My invitation arrived in the mail with my name on it,

781
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 9: and I accepted. And that's when things got weird. I

782
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 9: bumped into Anna when we were both out shopping. She

783
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 9: said we hadn't seen each other since the dinner and

784
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 9: asked if I had time for a coffee. I said yes,

785
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,799
Speaker 9: and after we got our coffees and sat down. Anna said,

786
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 9: can't you take a hint?

787
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:13,759
Speaker 5: What is her reasoning? Why doesn't she like Opie though?

788
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 9: I asked what she meant, and Anna said, wasn't obvious.

789
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 9: She didn't want me at her wedding. She understood I

790
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 9: was unfamiliar with wedding etiquette and how things are done

791
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 9: in this country. But the polite thing to do was

792
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 9: decline the invitation and send a present. I told Martin

793
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 9: about this, and Martin told me about a similar incident

794
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 9: at work. A work friend of Anna had confronted him

795
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 9: about my rudeness. According to the friend, Anna was just

796
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,839
Speaker 9: inviting me to be polite to the boss's girlfriend, and

797
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 9: I should be as polite and declined the invitation. Oh,

798
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 9: this is getting weird.

799
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 1: I'm not understanding Anna's rules of attending things.

800
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 9: I think Anna's nose points slightly upwards, and she's got

801
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 9: a whole pocket to cash in her pocket, back pocket?

802
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,080
Speaker 5: You still think that.

803
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,359
Speaker 9: That's what I think? Okay, she's snobbish.

804
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 5: What does the cash have to do?

805
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 9: She's rich? Yeah, tell your friend op f that. Yeah,

806
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 9: we're done.

807
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 5: What's too much? That's weird behavior.

808
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 9: Dingus, who was the bot of these people. Okay, no,

809
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 9: he doesn't. He lied to me. Eddie said that dingas

810
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 9: was working. Katie says Anna doesn't want OPI at her

811
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 9: wedding because of a different culture, the audacity.

812
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 5: That's what I was wondering first, But I don't think

813
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 5: it's that.

814
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,839
Speaker 1: I think she was saying, because of your culture, you

815
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 1: don't understand that you should decline.

816
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 9: I wouldn't get it, and I don't understand.

817
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 5: Why we're supposed to decline. You get a plus.

818
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 9: Guess we talked it over and I'm not comfortable going.

819
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 9: Martin is going to talk to Andy in person and

820
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 9: asks what's going on for he decides what to do.

821
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 9: The issue is should I give them a present? All

822
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 9: of the wedding and etiquette guides I've consulted say if

823
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 9: you decline a wedding invitation after you should send a present.

824
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 9: But frankly, I feel like I'm being used and giving

825
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 9: them both a present feels like I'm saying I'm okay

826
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 9: with that. I've asked some of my family members, would

827
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 9: I be the A hole? But let's just say that

828
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 9: their bias and probably spent too much of their time

829
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:19,239
Speaker 9: on pro revenge or another subreddit. Really would I be

830
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 9: the a hole if I declined this wedding invitation but

831
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 9: didn't give the couple a present? And there's an edit.

832
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 9: Thanks so much for all your applies. I really wasn't

833
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,919
Speaker 9: expecting as much feedback. Blah blah blah blah blah. When

834
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 9: I posted this, I was really confused about what the

835
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:35,720
Speaker 9: right thing to do in the situation was, and actually

836
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 9: a beg her, I mean I would be Yeah, still

837
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 9: not quite sure what I will do, but now I'm

838
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 9: starting to see the funny side and I'm loving some

839
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 9: of the suggestions. Top Revan not the a hole not

840
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 9: really says, don't bother with a gift from you. Steve

841
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 9: Martin wants to go to this crap show, and if

842
00:37:53,040 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 9: he does, then he can select a suitable gift Bathroom towns.

843
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 5: Fancy well, the crap show that will have monogram.

844
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 9: Dude again at craps down on a monogram towel. I've

845
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:10,760
Speaker 9: seen that happen before.

846
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: No, h.

847
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 5: That's rough.

848
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 9: Shout out my friend Gibby. Martin is going to talk

849
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 9: with Andy before he decides, including selecting a pressI Martin's

850
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 9: Prezzi will definitely be from him only and Alicia May says,

851
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 9: is there a reason his present won't be coming from him?

852
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 9: Typically a couple's gift a present together, especially if they

853
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 9: were initially invited as a bear. He says, officially the

854
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 9: reason we have separate finances, we don't live together, and

855
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 9: we don't plan too for a while.

856
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:41,319
Speaker 4: See.

857
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 1: I feel like that would have been your way around

858
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,760
Speaker 1: that though, would have been like if he still goes,

859
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 1: or if you guys still go, you put one combined gift.

860
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,439
Speaker 1: Like anytime that I've gone to a wedding, like as

861
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 1: a couple, it's just been one gift. Yeah, maybe a

862
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 1: slightly more expensive gift if it's two people.

863
00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 9: But unofficially, my gut is fit. Anna only agree to

864
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 9: invite me at first because she thought I would upsize

865
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 9: the present. You know, instead of getting them a special

866
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 9: wedding thing of a jig, we'd get them a super

867
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 9: special deluxe wedding thing of a jig with bells and

868
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 9: whistles and hot and cold running water. If she wants

869
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,839
Speaker 9: Martin only, but with Martin's and Ma's budget, I think

870
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 9: she would be disappointed. Stella Bella says, not the a hole,

871
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 9: such a weird vibe here. I'm wondering if Anna is

872
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 9: jealous of OPI maybe Anna nos Andy has a crush

873
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 9: on Op. Some information is missing here to explain Anna's behavior.

874
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 9: Either that or she's just nuts and Op clears some

875
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 9: things up. I've only met Andy and Anna in person once.

876
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 9: Andy and I got along well, but didn't get the

877
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:47,400
Speaker 9: sense that he developed a crush. It was more we

878
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:52,440
Speaker 9: were predisposed to like each other because we know how

879
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 9: important the other is to Martin. I thought I got

880
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 9: along well enough with Anna, but not to the same

881
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 9: extent as Andy. At the time, I just thought, well,

882
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 9: some people take longer and warm up. One of my

883
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 9: sisters is just like that. However, I am in a

884
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,719
Speaker 9: different religion to the others, and my mom arrived in

885
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 9: Australia as a child refuge. I've wondered whether Anna is

886
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 9: a ten Tinafoberg the other possibilities that Martin and I

887
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 9: I'll earn Andy and Anna, So maybe she's resentful of that.

888
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 9: T Heffer forty two says not the Yejo. What I

889
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 9: find strange is that she considers you the boss's girlfriend.

890
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,280
Speaker 9: But you've mentioned that Martin and Andy are close friends.

891
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,839
Speaker 9: Either way, she has been incredibly rude, and I am

892
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,760
Speaker 9: wondering if this is a culture within a culture of misunderstanding.

893
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 9: I'm from the southern US, and I've moved out of

894
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 9: that area years ago. It was a learning curve that

895
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,399
Speaker 9: some things weren't expected back home aren't necessarily the norm

896
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,919
Speaker 9: around here. What gave me a pause is the work

897
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:51,320
Speaker 9: friend conversation. No matter what, you don't owe this person

898
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 9: to present. Yeah, I hope, he says. I work in

899
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:56,360
Speaker 9: a pretty diverse workplace. My colleagues are just as puzzle

900
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 9: as I am about the etiquette thing. In fact, some

901
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,359
Speaker 9: of my colleagues had a fit of the vapors when

902
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 9: I said she uninvited the boss's partner. That's considered horribly

903
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,880
Speaker 9: rude and potentially quite damaging, and op replies to a

904
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 9: deleaded comment. Martin and Andy are friends outside of work. They

905
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 9: originally met through work and did work closely together for

906
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 9: a time, which is how they became such good friends.

907
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 9: They both moved onwards and upwards since then, but stay close.

908
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 9: Martin is now a part of the leadership team at

909
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 9: his work, so he is Andy and Anna's senior, but

910
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 9: neither of them are his direct reports, so he doesn't

911
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 9: have any direct influence on their careers. So Martin is

912
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 9: a boss, but he's no longer Andy's boss or Anna's

913
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 9: or in Australia, and we are all employed in the

914
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 9: public sector. Andy, Anna and Martin are with one employer

915
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:48,920
Speaker 9: and I am at another. They are permanent employees. And

916
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,839
Speaker 9: you can't just sack someone because they're being a bit

917
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 9: of an ahole. They need to be in breach of

918
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 9: employment conditions and follow the appropriate procedures. Having said that,

919
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 9: and it is probably is close to slap on the

920
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 9: wrist at work. Had to add my opinion only based

921
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 9: on what would happen in my workspace, no actual idea

922
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 9: about Martin's workplace. And Opie answers some questions. Yeah, this

923
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 9: isn't something to get like five.

924
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 5: I don't think we need to bring this back to

925
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,720
Speaker 5: work at all. Really, that would be crazy, that'd be weird.

926
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 9: Yeah, so we're kind of understanding a little bit about

927
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 9: the work complex here.

928
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:22,800
Speaker 5: Yeah.

929
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 9: I'm about to start doing my evening chores. But before

930
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 9: I go, some of you were probably doing evening yours.

931
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 9: I want to answer some of the most frequently asked questions.

932
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 9: What country is this? We are in Australia, op, you

933
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,800
Speaker 9: can't just name a continent. I'm in North America.

934
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 5: That only works for us.

935
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 9: They have parts of Australia. She could have said West

936
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:46,319
Speaker 9: Australia or East or South. Fair enough, one of the

937
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 9: four of us, I'm the only one born and raised

938
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,720
Speaker 9: in Australia, and I came here as a child. Andy

939
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 9: and Martin as adults. Another question, Why would I think

940
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 9: I should give them a present? My mom?

941
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 4: My mom.

942
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,600
Speaker 9: She was a shiny example of being polite and gracious

943
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 9: in the face of outrageous behavior without condoning it. I

944
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 9: guess I want to emulate her. But I just have

945
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 9: no idea what the polite and gracious thing to do

946
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 9: here or the response is in this situation. Getting some

947
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 9: clearer ideas though, What is Martin doing?

948
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:16,359
Speaker 5: That's what I really want to know.

949
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, I don't know. This sounds like a tough spot.

950
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:20,840
Speaker 5: What the heck is up Martin.

951
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:23,480
Speaker 9: Martin hasn't decided yet. He wants to talk to Andy

952
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,439
Speaker 9: and find out how much Andy knows and how far

953
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,399
Speaker 9: he is supporting Anna. Then he will decide he may

954
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 9: still go to support Andy, or he may not. Why

955
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 9: is Anna doing this? I have no idea, but I

956
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,840
Speaker 9: have some guesses. My guess is she wants Martin, but

957
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 9: with Martin and My's budget, I think she was hoping

958
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 9: I would supersize the gift and take it from the

959
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 9: bog standard model to the super deluxe Shining model with

960
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 9: bells and whistles and hot and cold running water. I've

961
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 9: never heard that.

962
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:55,240
Speaker 1: I've never heard that so detailed before. I've heard bells

963
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 1: and whistles, but getting into the and hot and cold

964
00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:58,359
Speaker 1: running water.

965
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 9: Yeah, that, I'm gonna start using that one.

966
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 1: You gotta make one just drastically crazier and crazier like

967
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 1: the first one's like the standard model, and then the

968
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:11,400
Speaker 1: next one's like the AI Integrated Man with bellows and

969
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 1: whistles and hot and cold running water and lights and music.

970
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 9: And as a fun little red light. I don't know.

971
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 9: I don't know. Ah, my head's hurting. I'm trying to

972
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:24,760
Speaker 9: figure out Anna's deal, but I can't. Why does Anna

973
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 9: not like you? Again? No idea. Here's some guesses. One,

974
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 9: I'm from a different re legend to the other three,

975
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,359
Speaker 9: so she might not like that. My mom arrived here

976
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:36,400
Speaker 9: as a child refuge, so she might be anti refuge.

977
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,319
Speaker 9: And Martin and I out Earn Andy and Anna that's

978
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 9: number two, so she might be jealous. I didn't get

979
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 9: a sense Andy developed a crush on means this is

980
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 9: the reason number three. We were predisposed to like each other,

981
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 9: because we both know how important the other is to Martin.

982
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,319
Speaker 9: I didn't get a sense that Anna disliked me at

983
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 9: our meeting. My impression at the time what she might

984
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:57,920
Speaker 9: be slow to warm up, but I could be wrong.

985
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:02,240
Speaker 9: Possibly was what are some all my family suggestions?

986
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 5: Okay, I like that she's labeled them too. Yes, I

987
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 5: read the first book.

988
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 9: Evil Sister Serious a generous donation to a charity of

989
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 9: the groom's choice. That way I could look polite and generous.

990
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 9: The bride doesn't benefit, and as some other editors that

991
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 9: pointed out, some good comes from it.

992
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, honestly, Yeah, I mean kind of cute.

993
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 9: Yeah.

994
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 1: I just don't know if it would, like wrinkle, like

995
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:32,879
Speaker 1: cause problems if you're like going around just to one

996
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 1: to be like and.

997
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 9: What's your oh yeah, trying to figure it out.

998
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know that's going to solve your problem.

999
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:38,800
Speaker 1: But I think it's a good idea.

1000
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 9: Evil Sister's second opinion, not so serious, closer to the day,

1001
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 9: pretend I have symptoms of you know what, so I

1002
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,479
Speaker 9: have to stay home until I have a negative test.

1003
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 9: On the day of the wedding, post pictures of myself

1004
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 9: on social media doing fabulous things at not their wedding

1005
00:45:56,280 --> 00:46:01,280
Speaker 9: and captioning them celebrating my negative test. Says if she's

1006
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 9: after Martin gifts her a box of temporary tattoos, they

1007
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 9: say Andy like on toy story, so she remembers which

1008
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 9: man is hers, Dad is crazy and anonymous. I shall

1009
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 9: now have a gift closet stacked with framed middle fingerpicks

1010
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 9: and Riley's noomes. Final gift depends on the drama of

1011
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:22,919
Speaker 9: pre gift giving and evil sisters. I have one of those.

1012
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 9: Let me know if you guys have evil sister. I

1013
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 9: in what level am blessed that I didn't have one

1014
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:29,759
Speaker 9: of those? I don't know what. I would not be

1015
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 9: the man I am todave I had one of those

1016
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 9: not as evil sister. Crocheted toilet roll cover, preferably one

1017
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 9: with a doll in it, particularly a retro fill. She

1018
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 9: has one ripe for regifting. Oh interesting. Brother doubts they

1019
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,360
Speaker 9: will make it through the altar, but suggests it and

1020
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 9: I owe you to the groom for present at his

1021
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 9: next wedding. Now I'm off to brave the heck that

1022
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:55,520
Speaker 9: my local super market, then treat myself to an ice

1023
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 9: takeaway for dinner. Now we have to wear mask indoors,

1024
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:02,240
Speaker 9: and I have the perfect excuse not to recognize Anna

1025
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 9: if I see her. We have an update eight days later.

1026
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:06,240
Speaker 9: What the heck is that?

1027
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 5: That's the toilet roll cover you?

1028
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 9: I hate that. That's so weird. I don't like that

1029
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 9: at all. You could make so many other bed ones

1030
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 9: of that. That's that's either.

1031
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:16,759
Speaker 5: But that's why. That's why she wants that to be

1032
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 5: here her gift. She's like, I'll just give her this

1033
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:21,800
Speaker 5: because it's weird. That was the evil sister one.

1034
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:25,280
Speaker 9: I'm evil to people who hurt those I love. Let's speak. Okay,

1035
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,400
Speaker 9: So we got an update eight days later. Do you

1036
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:28,240
Speaker 9: think they get married?

1037
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 5: I think Shanna and Yeah, I think they're gonna get married.

1038
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 9: Yeah, this is like, I don't.

1039
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 5: Know that Op or Martin are going to be there though.

1040
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 9: Yeah, I agree. So much has happened in the last week.

1041
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,479
Speaker 9: This is really just over a week ago. It feels

1042
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:44,720
Speaker 9: much longer. The nutshell version of what happened in that time,

1043
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:48,920
Speaker 9: and Andy and Anna did have communication issues. They were working

1044
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,440
Speaker 9: on them, and their wedding is still on. Martin and

1045
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,240
Speaker 9: I have split. The wedding is not of my business anymore.

1046
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,799
Speaker 9: I hope everyone has a great time and there are

1047
00:47:56,840 --> 00:48:01,959
Speaker 9: no hard feelings. Wait what what feels like a couple

1048
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 9: that should have split didn't. What happened?

1049
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,879
Speaker 5: What happened there? Do you think it was because he

1050
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,000
Speaker 5: was still gonna go.

1051
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 9: Maybe maybe he was like, stop making a big deal

1052
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 9: out of Andy's wedding.

1053
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 1: Maybe I feel like maybe also Anna like talked to

1054
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 1: him or something and like got in his.

1055
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 5: Head or something. Oh gosh, oh well, at least you

1056
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 5: don't worry about it now.

1057
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 9: Fooler version goes like this, and it was very close

1058
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,919
Speaker 9: to Martin's late wife and saw her as an older

1059
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 9: sister figure having a virtual stranger at her wedding in

1060
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,800
Speaker 9: her friend's place. It was too much, And he says,

1061
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,720
Speaker 9: Anna knows she acted immaturely, and she is deeply ashamed

1062
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 9: of some of the things she said to me. Well,

1063
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:44,680
Speaker 9: why can't she just say that to you?

1064
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 8: O Pete?

1065
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh so this was like, really, well, I guess

1066
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 5: you're just finding this out too. Yeah, how do we

1067
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 5: know this?

1068
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 9: Yeah? This would have been nice to know the first

1069
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,399
Speaker 9: There was a lot more said, which I swore never

1070
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 9: to repeat. I understand a lot more now, and I

1071
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 9: regret some of the joke I've made. I've decided to forgive.

1072
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:05,279
Speaker 9: Martin and I aren't together anymore, not directly because of this,

1073
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,959
Speaker 9: but when we considered who Martin was most concerned about,

1074
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 9: not me, and who I turned to support for not him,

1075
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 9: we realized we weren't each other's priority. I had a

1076
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 9: little cry about it, but I'll be okay. So it

1077
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,760
Speaker 9: turns out my brother was right in an unexpected way,

1078
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 9: but he won't be rejoicing at being proven right.

1079
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:26,120
Speaker 5: I think she probably just turned to her brother or something.

1080
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 9: No no, no, no, no, no.

1081
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,719
Speaker 1: She would have said my brother, But then the next

1082
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 1: sentence was about her brother because.

1083
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 9: He had a thought on it, and he was right.

1084
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 9: The wedding is none of my business now, and I

1085
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:37,720
Speaker 9: won't be attending or sending a present.

1086
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 5: We got here, guys, what if she still went?

1087
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:40,479
Speaker 4: Though?

1088
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:41,720
Speaker 9: Oh my she wouldn't.

1089
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:42,600
Speaker 7: But what if she did?

1090
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 9: That would be so petty and Op's mother raised her

1091
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 9: better than this. But I hope everyone has a great time.

1092
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:52,760
Speaker 9: Thank you to everyone who read my earlier posts, commented,

1093
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:55,680
Speaker 9: answered with me, and gave me awards. I heard a

1094
00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 9: couple of bucks from it. I was expecting maybe a

1095
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 9: couple of comments and hoping someone would explain the etiquette

1096
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 9: that I would do. Oh yeah, I see that.

1097
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:04,319
Speaker 1: Now.

1098
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 9: I got so much more than what I was expecting.

1099
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 9: I had no idea how much stress I was carrying

1100
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 9: on my body over the original problem until I started

1101
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 9: laughing and making wise cracks with commenters. Then my tension

1102
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 9: headache disappeared. The headache I didn't even know I had.

1103
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,759
Speaker 9: I really think you guys helped cushion me for what

1104
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:24,360
Speaker 9: was coming. But he continues, life's going on. My youngest

1105
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:26,799
Speaker 9: got sent home from school because he was sick, so

1106
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 9: we spent a couple of days vegging on the couch

1107
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 9: together in our pjs, looking completely feril, watching the Broken

1108
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 9: Wood Mysteries. He loves the one person where the unlive

1109
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 9: weapon is an exploding portaloo and one of the suspects

1110
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 9: tries to escape in a hot air balloon. If anyone

1111
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,480
Speaker 9: wants a love story that isn't Andy and Annas My

1112
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 9: sister's reveling in her new role as evil sister. Anyways,

1113
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:51,800
Speaker 9: this does not have anything to do with the story.

1114
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 9: She's thinking of taking up cackling in public. Her partner

1115
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:58,960
Speaker 9: says he wants to take her name so he can

1116
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 9: be evil brother in law and they can cackle away

1117
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:03,840
Speaker 9: in public together. That's love.

1118
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:05,359
Speaker 5: It's kind of cute.

1119
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 9: There's one comment I'm gonna read because this kind of

1120
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 9: clears some things up. Okay, so what did your brother say, Opie.

1121
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,440
Speaker 9: I think he just called that they had bad communication

1122
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:14,560
Speaker 9: and he was.

1123
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 5: Just like, you guys, aren't this isn't compatible.

1124
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 9: You're not gonna make it to the altar.

1125
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:20,720
Speaker 5: You're not going to this wedding.

1126
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 9: Yeah, sounds like she turned into her siblings. I think

1127
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:28,000
Speaker 9: she turned more into a mother. That lovely lady. She's

1128
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:30,080
Speaker 9: an angel. I know she's gonna be the angel second

1129
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:33,800
Speaker 9: she has. Riley's told made it sound like he thought

1130
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 9: that they had something to do with Khaki for cackling.

1131
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:38,799
Speaker 9: I think, oh, I see, I see, Yeah, you read

1132
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 9: my mind. Okay, So John Marrisid says, I'm so confused.

1133
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 9: Can you tell us the comfort person you people went

1134
00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 9: to as the part of the story.

1135
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 5: Yes, asking the good questions?

1136
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 9: For example, Martin going to Andy for comfort or am

1137
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 9: I just getting these vibes from nowhere? Opie says. When

1138
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:58,520
Speaker 9: all of this got ugly, I went to my siblings

1139
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:02,600
Speaker 9: and friends and this reddits height for support and advice

1140
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:06,560
Speaker 9: about understanding and navigating the situation. Not my partner. And

1141
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 9: Martin's main concern was how this could impact others in

1142
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 9: the workplace, not how this impacted us and our relationship.

1143
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 9: There were no third parties involved in our breakup.

1144
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:20,120
Speaker 5: Boo dang. Not what we thought. But good for you.

1145
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 9: Because you went to us instead of like Martin. Yeah,

1146
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 9: and then Martin was like, well, this could harm people

1147
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 9: that work for me, not like, oh this we should

1148
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 9: probably fix this.

1149
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:32,000
Speaker 1: He is the boss, but like, take care of your

1150
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:33,320
Speaker 1: girlfriend first, dude.

1151
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 9: Well, guys, I've seen in that story.

1152
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 8: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time boy host.

1153
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 1: Here.

1154
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

1155
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:43,400
Speaker 2: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1156
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:47,399
Speaker 1: My best friends kept arguing over small things, and now

1157
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:48,640
Speaker 1: I canceled.

1158
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 5: Our UK trip.

1159
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 9: Weird Dunelan.

1160
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,640
Speaker 1: So for context, I met my two best friends, Amelia

1161
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 1: female twenty seven and Stacey female twenty five, in a

1162
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,320
Speaker 1: group chat three years ago. Now I live in Europe

1163
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 1: and Stacy and Amelia live in the UK. Stacy and

1164
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:05,359
Speaker 1: Amelia have been best friends long before I've known them.

1165
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:08,560
Speaker 5: Ooh, it's always awkward.

1166
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:10,759
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Moonwitch, and if you

1167
00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

1168
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:16,399
Speaker 1: slash okay storytime subreddit. I'm Krly, I'm Riley, and we're

1169
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 1: here to give good advice goofully, but we don't have

1170
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,719
Speaker 1: all the answers. We only know what we would do,

1171
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 1: so let us know what you would do in the comments.

1172
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,640
Speaker 1: I've learned early on that Stacy is autistic, which is

1173
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:29,280
Speaker 1: important context. I met up with Amelia first June twenty

1174
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 1: twenty three, and then again plus Stacy for the first

1175
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 1: time in September twenty twenty three to attend two concerts.

1176
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 1: Here's where the problems began. I don't know if it's

1177
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 1: just because Stacy is autistic, but she is a drama queen.

1178
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 1: She turns a fly into an elephant real fast, jumps

1179
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:49,520
Speaker 1: to conclusions way too quickly, plays the victim card pretty

1180
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 1: much always, and never apologize even though she's in the

1181
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:54,239
Speaker 1: wrong a lot of the time. When you try to

1182
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 1: have an adult conversation and discussion with her, She's immediately

1183
00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:00,400
Speaker 1: playing the victim and accusing you of not understand her

1184
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:03,800
Speaker 1: and criticizing her when this isn't even the case. She'd

1185
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:06,640
Speaker 1: then put words in your mouth things you haven't even said,

1186
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:08,160
Speaker 1: and have a full meltdown.

1187
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 9: Dude, why are we even friends with her in the

1188
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:11,240
Speaker 9: first place?

1189
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, you guys like once, I'm confused.

1190
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:18,240
Speaker 1: Amelia always has to baby her then and do everything

1191
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 1: Stacy asks in order for Stacy to stop her really

1192
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:25,359
Speaker 1: childish behavior. Now, after the first concert in twenty twenty three,

1193
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 1: Stacy and Amelia began to argue and fight. The band

1194
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:30,319
Speaker 1: we were seeing is a small band and they tend

1195
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,640
Speaker 1: to come outside and meet fans after the show, so

1196
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 1: me and Amelia were eager to try her luck and

1197
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:37,400
Speaker 1: see if we could meet them. We've been wanting to

1198
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:40,239
Speaker 1: meet them since twenty twenty one. Stacy, on the other hand,

1199
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 1: got fed up with us for waiting, and once we

1200
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:45,040
Speaker 1: sort of gave up on trying to wait for this band,

1201
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 1: we went.

1202
00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:46,600
Speaker 5: Back to our hotel.

1203
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,239
Speaker 1: Stacy was still so fed up and I forgot what

1204
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:52,480
Speaker 1: she was talking about, but that set Amelia off and

1205
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:54,799
Speaker 1: they begin to bicker and argue back and forth in

1206
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,359
Speaker 1: front of me. Now, due to some trauma inflicted upon

1207
00:54:57,480 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 1: me by my dad when I was a kid, I

1208
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,920
Speaker 1: don't like when someone raises their voice or when two

1209
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:04,799
Speaker 1: people fight, I immediately get scared and I start to

1210
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:08,240
Speaker 1: shake and feel uncomfortable. Quite frankly, this was my UK trip.

1211
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 1: I was on vacation for a week to do this,

1212
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:13,400
Speaker 1: and I just wanted to attend two concerts with my

1213
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:16,000
Speaker 1: best friends and have a nice time. But it got

1214
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,480
Speaker 1: low key ruined by them arguing the whole time and

1215
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,400
Speaker 1: I had to listen. The next day, the awkward tension

1216
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 1: between them was still there because we sort of went

1217
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 1: to sleep without talking about it further, and I didn't

1218
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 1: want to be involved in this. Stacy had threatened to

1219
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 1: cancel the second concert and not go with us, that

1220
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,319
Speaker 1: she wanted to go home instead because she felt not

1221
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:36,439
Speaker 1: comfortable and not appreciated enough.

1222
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,680
Speaker 9: I don't you can find new friends. Have you ever

1223
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:40,120
Speaker 9: went backpacking? Yeah?

1224
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:41,879
Speaker 5: Then I'm like, what, so let her go home?

1225
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:42,760
Speaker 9: Yeah?

1226
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:44,759
Speaker 5: You should go to the concert with the other, with

1227
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:45,720
Speaker 5: the other with Amelia.

1228
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 9: Amazing, Yeah, go with Amelia.

1229
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:51,760
Speaker 1: Since my dad used to do the same manipulation tactic,

1230
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 1: I didn't buy it one bit, and I continued to

1231
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:56,680
Speaker 1: make myself ready for concert number two when I heard

1232
00:55:56,800 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 1: the loudest scream coming from our hotel. Amelia thought it

1233
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 1: was a good idea to scream for a minute to

1234
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 1: make herself feel better from all the stress and anger

1235
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:09,360
Speaker 1: she had carried inside her, which scared Stacy, who was

1236
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:12,319
Speaker 1: now crying and calling her mother hysterically to pick her

1237
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 1: up from the hotel because she didn't want to be

1238
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:15,280
Speaker 1: there anymore.

1239
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:19,840
Speaker 9: Oh my god, dude, whatever people are together for too.

1240
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 1: Long, wasn't only one of them neurodiversion. I think both

1241
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:25,480
Speaker 1: of them have to be in some way. I don't know, man,

1242
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:27,680
Speaker 1: I keep getting confused which one it was, because they're

1243
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 1: both not.

1244
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:31,799
Speaker 9: Like Stacy as Stacy. Yeah, but and Amelia calms her.

1245
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:33,000
Speaker 5: Down Amelia's screaming.

1246
00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:35,239
Speaker 9: I mean, if I had to be around Stacy for

1247
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:36,400
Speaker 9: that long, I wouldn't blame her.

1248
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just thinking, now, what the F is

1249
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 1: going on? I then had to go comfort Amelia since

1250
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:44,920
Speaker 1: she was crying on her bed, and Stacy locked herself

1251
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:48,279
Speaker 1: in the bathroom. And when it come out after a

1252
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:50,799
Speaker 1: long long time of this mess, we could talk it

1253
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 1: out and fix this, but I told them both after

1254
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: I left to go home that I didn't want this

1255
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:56,880
Speaker 1: to ever happen again.

1256
00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 9: There's an easy way to make that happen.

1257
00:56:58,960 --> 00:56:59,960
Speaker 5: Stopping friends with them.

1258
00:57:00,239 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 9: Boom.

1259
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 1: This was really traumatizing and has sort of strained my

1260
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:05,839
Speaker 1: UK trip a little bit. I did have a nice time,

1261
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:09,719
Speaker 1: but that was traumatizing. Fast forward a year later, Amelia,

1262
00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 1: Stacy and I are again going to a concert in

1263
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 1: the UK, three concerts to be exact, and Stacy promised

1264
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,960
Speaker 1: me that there wouldn't be any arguments and fights.

1265
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 9: Stacy, Stacy promised you.

1266
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 5: And we stay this promise. We're going on another trip

1267
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 5: with these people. She promised me.

1268
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,440
Speaker 1: Well, that promise was broken, and it was once again

1269
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:35,080
Speaker 1: Stacy who started unnecessary arguments with Amelia about something so

1270
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:38,560
Speaker 1: ridiculous and really unnecessary, things like I don't want to

1271
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:41,880
Speaker 1: cue this early, or I don't like waiting on stars,

1272
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 1: or just simply making remarks at Amelia for having a

1273
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:47,840
Speaker 1: resting witch face and for always looking annoyed and fed

1274
00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:50,480
Speaker 1: up when this is just her face. They kept doing

1275
00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:53,080
Speaker 1: this until Stacey cried again and threatened to cancel the

1276
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 1: rest of the shows we were going to attend, and

1277
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:57,440
Speaker 1: just go back home. For this, I was really annoyed

1278
00:57:57,520 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 1: and pissed off because they promised me not to argue

1279
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 1: with each other, and I started to feel that each

1280
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 1: time we hang out as a trio, they can't keep

1281
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 1: it together and they have to argue it to ruin

1282
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 1: my trip. It takes me around two hours by plane

1283
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:12,400
Speaker 1: and several trains later to be at Amelia's house. And

1284
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:14,920
Speaker 1: I'm not doing all of this work and travel just

1285
00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 1: to listen to them argue for five days street and

1286
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:19,800
Speaker 1: have them both be in a terrible mood while I

1287
00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:22,479
Speaker 1: just want to enjoy my time. On to the main

1288
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:24,640
Speaker 1: part and why, I ask if I'm the a hole

1289
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:24,920
Speaker 1: or not?

1290
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:27,400
Speaker 9: Boy? What what is all this? Then?

1291
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:31,320
Speaker 5: Amelia Stacy? So were you just like that was backstory

1292
00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 5: of the last backstory?

1293
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, Amelia Stacy and I are once again set to

1294
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 1: meet up in the UK to attend not only another concert,

1295
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:40,280
Speaker 1: but to also visit.

1296
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:41,200
Speaker 5: A chocolate factory.

1297
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 1: Amelia wants to show me around the UK a lot more,

1298
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:46,560
Speaker 1: and I love seeing more of the UK than just

1299
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:49,360
Speaker 1: the famous London because of things that keep happening. I

1300
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 1: did tell Amelia, if you two start arguing again, I

1301
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 1: sowear to God, I'm not coming to the UK again.

1302
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 1: I just want to have a nice time with you too,

1303
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,600
Speaker 1: and not have my vacation ruined each time.

1304
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:03,800
Speaker 9: You know, Stacy's gonna be mad. I'm calling it.

1305
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 1: Amelia understood and assured me it wouldn't happen again. Okay, hope,

1306
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:11,960
Speaker 1: so at least when we do have a group chat though,

1307
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 1: where we talk sometimes. I told Amelia that I'd like

1308
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 1: to talk about the upcoming meet up again and have

1309
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 1: both assure me they won't fight and argue. But I

1310
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 1: did say that I want to do this and talk

1311
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:24,760
Speaker 1: about this closer to the time concerts in November. I

1312
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 1: didn't tell Stacy anything yet about this because I was

1313
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:31,240
Speaker 1: going to but later down the line.

1314
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:32,680
Speaker 9: Uh oh.

1315
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 1: While I was in Turkey two weeks ago with my

1316
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:38,280
Speaker 1: mom and stepdad, Amelia texted me saying I should check

1317
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,640
Speaker 1: the group chat I haven't muted. Stacy was accusing me

1318
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 1: and Amelia of talking behind her back and asking if

1319
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 1: we could please stop talking behind her back and if

1320
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:49,640
Speaker 1: we could please includer in the private conversation that me

1321
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:52,080
Speaker 1: and Amelia have. She also said that we should know

1322
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 1: she is autistic and she knows herself. She isn't perfect,

1323
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:58,800
Speaker 1: and she keeps trying, and she keeps trying to seek

1324
00:59:58,840 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 1: help and blah blah blah.

1325
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:02,760
Speaker 9: Okay, hot take. Just because you have a neuro divergence

1326
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:04,880
Speaker 9: shouldn't mean you have to look through the perspective of

1327
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 9: that and people should feel guilty about the way you

1328
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:10,560
Speaker 9: have gone about things just because you have a certain

1329
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 9: type of disability.

1330
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that there's grace given to some extent,

1331
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 1: But like, if you're this self aware, Stacy, like we

1332
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 1: should have coping mechanisms that we've learned at this point.

1333
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 1: Turns out Amelia had warned Stacy beforehand about me wanting

1334
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:28,480
Speaker 1: to address something very important later down the line in

1335
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 1: the group.

1336
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 9: Chat, Stacy's gonna make me freaking scream like Amelia did.

1337
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 9: Oh my gosh.

1338
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 1: Stacy didn't take it, well, she always doesn't. I then

1339
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:39,680
Speaker 1: chimed in and explained to Stacy that for the past

1340
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:42,360
Speaker 1: two times I have traveled to the UK to meet them,

1341
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 1: there's always been arguments and fights happening between her and Amelia,

1342
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:48,320
Speaker 1: which does unlive the mood and the vibe.

1343
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:50,680
Speaker 9: To be honest, honestly, I think they're really into each other.

1344
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:51,640
Speaker 5: Stacy and Amelia.

1345
01:00:51,760 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 9: Oh yeah, no way, I feel it.

1346
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 5: They argue too much.

1347
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,160
Speaker 9: But the tensions there. You're telling me that if you're

1348
01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 9: arguing with someone that you truly deeply love and you don't,

1349
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:02,680
Speaker 9: I do the that that tension doesn't go away.

1350
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:05,280
Speaker 5: I get really stressy when I argue.

1351
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 9: But and then there's a way to d stress. My

1352
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 9: son is autistic and has traces of odd along with

1353
01:01:10,440 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 9: other things. It's an explanation, not an excuse. Yeah, exactly.

1354
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:17,840
Speaker 9: Explanation does not equal excuse a free pass. Yeah, thank you,

1355
01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:18,920
Speaker 9: Winny Anderson.

1356
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, because while I'm very happy and smiling and feeling

1357
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:25,040
Speaker 1: very excited to be here, they're just ruining my mood

1358
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:28,320
Speaker 1: and my vacation by not keeping it together for once.

1359
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:32,160
Speaker 1: It's not hard to understand, I told her. Amelia also

1360
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:34,760
Speaker 1: chimed in, but only to say going to turn my

1361
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:37,840
Speaker 1: phone off good night, which also pisses me off. Amelia

1362
01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:40,640
Speaker 1: avoids any kind of conflict like the plague.

1363
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 5: Well, I like to have a good.

1364
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:45,720
Speaker 1: Discussion or I just confront people when I don't like something. Well,

1365
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 1: Stacy left the group chat and blocked Amelia temporarily. Now

1366
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 1: asks me to apologize to her for what I said

1367
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 1: in Stacy's mind, I'm the problem and I'm in the wrong,

1368
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:59,160
Speaker 1: and I should apologize to her when I haven't even

1369
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:02,760
Speaker 1: done anything wrong other than try to voice a boundary

1370
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:05,280
Speaker 1: and ask if we can please not argue and fight

1371
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:07,680
Speaker 1: whenever I'm there. We don't have to fight all the

1372
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:11,720
Speaker 1: time and create unnecessary drama, do we. Stacy now threatens

1373
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:15,440
Speaker 1: again to cancel the upcoming concert and the chocolate factory

1374
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:19,080
Speaker 1: trip if I don't apologize, and Amelia also says I

1375
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:21,680
Speaker 1: should apologize even though she knows they did nothing wrong.

1376
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 1: So am I the a hole for this?

1377
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:26,200
Speaker 9: OPI We'll give you the pass for making these mistakes,

1378
01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:28,960
Speaker 9: all right, but if you do not learn anything from.

1379
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 5: This, it's gonna say you have to learn from it.

1380
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:33,520
Speaker 9: I'm gonna call you the a hole until oblivion because

1381
01:02:33,560 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 9: you know what you got to do. Here also a

1382
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 9: huge shout out to Whitney Anderson. I feel like a

1383
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:41,600
Speaker 9: lot of this starts with the parents. Yeah, because if

1384
01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:44,160
Speaker 9: I feel like Stacy's acting this way because her parents,

1385
01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:47,120
Speaker 9: you're autistic like, okay, we'll work with you, instead.

1386
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:50,560
Speaker 1: Of it's challenging her, especially because that is such a spectrum.

1387
01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:53,680
Speaker 5: I feel like a lot like as everyone like learns

1388
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:55,760
Speaker 5: more about like the spectrum of it.

1389
01:02:55,840 --> 01:02:57,880
Speaker 1: Like there's been a lot people have been a lot

1390
01:02:57,880 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 1: better about being like okay, like we can hold like

1391
01:03:00,560 --> 01:03:02,360
Speaker 1: I can hold myself accountable, I can learn, I can

1392
01:03:02,520 --> 01:03:05,120
Speaker 1: like get my own coping mechanisms kind of things where

1393
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:07,919
Speaker 1: the parents might not have known that before as much

1394
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 1: there was such like bad stigma to like any mental illness.

1395
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:13,800
Speaker 9: Yeah, I've seen parents do that children and the way

1396
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:15,960
Speaker 9: they turn out good. Huh.

1397
01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:16,400
Speaker 7: Update.

1398
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:19,440
Speaker 5: I was planning to cancel and call the trip off

1399
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 5: because of their ongoing fights and arguments between each other,

1400
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 5: ruining my UK trips that require two plus hours by

1401
01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:28,320
Speaker 5: plane and several more hours by train to get to

1402
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:31,680
Speaker 5: Amelia's house. After Amelia talked to Stacy behind my back

1403
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:35,000
Speaker 5: about me thinking about canceling the trip, Stacy flipped out

1404
01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:36,960
Speaker 5: and I was forced to apologize to her when I

1405
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,240
Speaker 5: didn't do anything wrong. And now I'm sure you'll be

1406
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:42,120
Speaker 5: pleased to hear that the UK trip is officially canceled.

1407
01:03:42,280 --> 01:03:43,440
Speaker 5: Finito done.

1408
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:47,160
Speaker 9: Thank goodness. Oh my god. I would have went insane.

1409
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:48,360
Speaker 5: I would have been crazy.

1410
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:48,840
Speaker 8: You know.

1411
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:51,400
Speaker 5: They would have immediately.

1412
01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:52,760
Speaker 9: Argued because they love each other.

1413
01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:55,400
Speaker 1: So I did actually end up apologizing to Stacy, even

1414
01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:56,960
Speaker 1: though I didn't think I had to, but I just

1415
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,880
Speaker 1: wanted this to be over with. Stacy then blatantly ignored

1416
01:03:59,920 --> 01:04:03,480
Speaker 1: my messages for about two weeks before eventually replying to them.

1417
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,680
Speaker 1: I then had a serious talk with her, explaining everything

1418
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:09,240
Speaker 1: in depth and opening up my heart about the situation,

1419
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:12,400
Speaker 1: how this makes me feel, how they ruin my vacation

1420
01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:15,040
Speaker 1: trip because of this, and how it wasn't fair on

1421
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 1: my end. I suggested they take a break from their friendship,

1422
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:20,320
Speaker 1: not talk to each other for a while, or have

1423
01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:22,680
Speaker 1: a sit down together and chat, just like I did

1424
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:25,360
Speaker 1: with her. Stacy said she understood where I was coming from,

1425
01:04:25,520 --> 01:04:28,720
Speaker 1: understood what I meant, and acknowledged how bad this really

1426
01:04:28,880 --> 01:04:30,720
Speaker 1: is that the two of them really need to have

1427
01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:33,880
Speaker 1: a chat about it to fix things. She seemed really

1428
01:04:33,920 --> 01:04:37,080
Speaker 1: sympathetic and understanding, which surprised me at first, but I

1429
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:39,720
Speaker 1: was also glad she understood my point of view and

1430
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:42,200
Speaker 1: why this was important to me. Stacy thanked me for

1431
01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:46,040
Speaker 1: being so upfront and honest and promised to me that

1432
01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:48,840
Speaker 1: she'd talk with Amelia while grabbing some coffee the next day.

1433
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:50,960
Speaker 5: I thanked her as well, and we left it at that.

1434
01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:53,760
Speaker 1: I felt good having told Stacy what bothered me, and

1435
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:56,400
Speaker 1: I was hoping it would get fixed now and they'd

1436
01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:57,560
Speaker 1: resolve the issue.

1437
01:04:57,760 --> 01:04:59,840
Speaker 7: I was wrong.

1438
01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:05,200
Speaker 9: You're better off trusting a snake than Stacy, like really wrong.

1439
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:07,800
Speaker 1: As the days went on, it seemed to go great,

1440
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 1: until Amelia continued to text me and rant to me

1441
01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:13,520
Speaker 1: about how Stacy was doing X, Y and Z things

1442
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:16,040
Speaker 1: and how much it annoyed her, how Stacy was having

1443
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:19,200
Speaker 1: tantrums if things didn't go away, how Stacy would sulk

1444
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:22,320
Speaker 1: and make a scene for whatever reason. I honestly had

1445
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:24,600
Speaker 1: no clue what to even say or do anymore.

1446
01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:27,160
Speaker 5: I go numb. I thought I made my point clear.

1447
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:29,720
Speaker 1: I have the feeling that both don't even listen to

1448
01:05:29,760 --> 01:05:32,240
Speaker 1: me when I try to confront them about something. As

1449
01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 1: Amelia also continues to hang out with Stacy almost daily

1450
01:05:36,040 --> 01:05:39,160
Speaker 1: and is asking herself why the arguments continue, I told

1451
01:05:39,160 --> 01:05:42,320
Speaker 1: her that the friendship may be long overdue, this isn't

1452
01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:45,520
Speaker 1: a friendship anymore, and clearly nothing will ever change.

1453
01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:46,560
Speaker 5: Yesterday, while I.

1454
01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:50,240
Speaker 1: Was eating dinner, Amelia texted me, and I quote she

1455
01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:52,800
Speaker 1: arrived in a mood because she wants me to go

1456
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:54,960
Speaker 1: to her house next week to meet some singer and

1457
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,919
Speaker 1: watch her do some charity fashion show and I said

1458
01:05:57,920 --> 01:06:00,720
Speaker 1: no because I have to work those days. Sorry, And

1459
01:06:00,760 --> 01:06:03,040
Speaker 1: she isn't talking to me and just sitting with her

1460
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:05,760
Speaker 1: headphones and we are having no food because I said no,

1461
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 1: I philipped.

1462
01:06:07,440 --> 01:06:08,280
Speaker 4: Out on Amelia.

1463
01:06:08,520 --> 01:06:11,320
Speaker 1: Finally reaching my last job, I said to her, can

1464
01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:14,320
Speaker 1: you guys just get your crap together already? Like this

1465
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:16,440
Speaker 1: is what I talked to Stacy about, not wanting to

1466
01:06:16,480 --> 01:06:19,640
Speaker 1: have any arguments when we spend time together again. I'm

1467
01:06:19,640 --> 01:06:21,480
Speaker 1: honestly so sick and tired of this.

1468
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:24,520
Speaker 5: BS. Why can't you guys ever behave.

1469
01:06:24,520 --> 01:06:27,400
Speaker 9: How many friend groups of three have you seen implode?

1470
01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:28,840
Speaker 9: I've seen two happen.

1471
01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:29,800
Speaker 5: At least one.

1472
01:06:30,120 --> 01:06:34,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, otherwise, like outside of just my own way more yeah.

1473
01:06:34,200 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 9: Yeah yeah, Oh not, You're wrong. I'm just saying, like,

1474
01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:36,880
Speaker 9: in general.

1475
01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:38,960
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, like at least four or five? I feel.

1476
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:40,880
Speaker 9: What about you, guys? How many friend groups of three

1477
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:41,920
Speaker 9: have you seen implode?

1478
01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:44,560
Speaker 1: I think that though I've seen more because I was

1479
01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:47,560
Speaker 1: just around more like female friend groups probably, and that's

1480
01:06:47,680 --> 01:06:51,600
Speaker 1: so common. I honestly had enough, and I told Amelia

1481
01:06:51,640 --> 01:06:53,880
Speaker 1: I was going to cancel the UK trip now because

1482
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:57,320
Speaker 1: I'm done with dealing with this. Let's go pie, nothing

1483
01:06:57,320 --> 01:06:59,960
Speaker 1: will ever change between the two of them. And Amelia

1484
01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:03,600
Speaker 1: told me that Stacy never even had this serious conversation

1485
01:07:03,640 --> 01:07:06,040
Speaker 1: about this whole thing. Why the f did I then

1486
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:08,920
Speaker 1: have a whole butt talk with Stacy for so she

1487
01:07:09,080 --> 01:07:11,400
Speaker 1: just agreed to everything I said without even meaning it,

1488
01:07:11,760 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 1: and she doesn't even give two craps.

1489
01:07:13,760 --> 01:07:15,920
Speaker 5: Amelia was sad. I was going to cancel the trip,

1490
01:07:15,920 --> 01:07:20,919
Speaker 5: but too bad, mother effort. It's your fault. I'm done

1491
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:23,240
Speaker 5: playing patient. I've done everything I could.

1492
01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:26,080
Speaker 1: At this point, I don't even want to go anymore,

1493
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:29,760
Speaker 1: not because of them constantly fighting, but in general, I'm

1494
01:07:29,760 --> 01:07:32,600
Speaker 1: not that interested. And I was hesitating to proceed with

1495
01:07:32,640 --> 01:07:35,120
Speaker 1: the planning of this, and as we reached September, I

1496
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:36,400
Speaker 1: was growing more anxious.

1497
01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:37,840
Speaker 5: That's off the table now.

1498
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 1: To get a second opinion, I texted my mom asking

1499
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:43,120
Speaker 1: her if that was the right decision, and even my

1500
01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:46,320
Speaker 1: mom agreed that it's best I canceled because I wouldn't

1501
01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:48,360
Speaker 1: have been happy anyway, which is true.

1502
01:07:48,680 --> 01:07:51,600
Speaker 9: Yeah, honestly, your mom knows what's up. I almost canceled

1503
01:07:51,640 --> 01:07:53,760
Speaker 9: a trip recently because I thought a certain person was

1504
01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:54,920
Speaker 9: gonna be on the trip. I was like, I am

1505
01:07:54,960 --> 01:07:57,000
Speaker 9: not about to be with that person for two weeks,

1506
01:07:57,040 --> 01:07:58,040
Speaker 9: but they're not going so.

1507
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:02,240
Speaker 1: My mom also agrees that Amelia and Stacey have no

1508
01:08:02,360 --> 01:08:05,320
Speaker 1: friendship anymore, but just keep each other around out of habit.

1509
01:08:05,440 --> 01:08:07,680
Speaker 1: They have been friends for ten plus years and it

1510
01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:11,040
Speaker 1: became a habit. Clearly, I told Amelia what my mom said,

1511
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:13,720
Speaker 1: and Amelia is fine with me canceling the trip now

1512
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:16,800
Speaker 1: and understands that she needs new friends. She also keeps

1513
01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:19,320
Speaker 1: telling me it's hard to make friends. She has met

1514
01:08:19,320 --> 01:08:23,040
Speaker 1: one girl, but she loves absolutely nothing. According to Amelia,

1515
01:08:23,120 --> 01:08:26,240
Speaker 1: this girl doesn't like music, doesn't like concerts, doesn't like

1516
01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:29,559
Speaker 1: going out, doesn't like shopping, doesn't like anything really other

1517
01:08:29,640 --> 01:08:30,880
Speaker 1: than her boyfriend and her dog.

1518
01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:31,439
Speaker 8: Eww.

1519
01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:36,120
Speaker 9: Everyone's problems is that we're too much on phones, and

1520
01:08:36,360 --> 01:08:37,640
Speaker 9: if we are going to be in our phones, we

1521
01:08:37,680 --> 01:08:40,200
Speaker 9: need to be on our phones in a community type

1522
01:08:40,479 --> 01:08:43,479
Speaker 9: or fashion, like playing games at their community based or

1523
01:08:43,479 --> 01:08:46,760
Speaker 9: being on Okay storytime, yes, being in chat, being in

1524
01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:49,479
Speaker 9: a way in an area that connects people. If we

1525
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:52,040
Speaker 9: run on our phones, we'd go out to places and

1526
01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:54,559
Speaker 9: we'd interact with one another, and oh Pop would find

1527
01:08:54,560 --> 01:08:55,200
Speaker 9: better friends.

1528
01:08:55,320 --> 01:08:57,679
Speaker 5: It's true, that's what it's like. Get a hobby.

1529
01:08:58,120 --> 01:08:59,520
Speaker 9: Oh my gosh, please.

1530
01:08:59,320 --> 01:09:01,879
Speaker 5: As the only two thing she likes. She's just strange.

1531
01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:04,320
Speaker 1: But Amelia should just maybe go out more and meet

1532
01:09:04,360 --> 01:09:06,400
Speaker 1: someone I don't know. She keeps saying how much she

1533
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:09,240
Speaker 1: misses me and missus seeing me. Of course I miss

1534
01:09:09,240 --> 01:09:11,479
Speaker 1: her too, but I don't want to see Stacy right now,

1535
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:14,400
Speaker 1: and I'm doing myself a favor and calling the whole

1536
01:09:14,479 --> 01:09:15,120
Speaker 1: thing off.

1537
01:09:15,320 --> 01:09:17,880
Speaker 5: If they can't behave and just shut up for.

1538
01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:20,200
Speaker 1: Once, I have to take matters into my own hands.

1539
01:09:20,600 --> 01:09:22,639
Speaker 1: The trip is off and I don't have to worry

1540
01:09:22,640 --> 01:09:25,080
Speaker 1: about it anymore. My mom said it was the right decision,

1541
01:09:25,160 --> 01:09:27,200
Speaker 1: and I say the same. They can go and see

1542
01:09:27,240 --> 01:09:30,439
Speaker 1: that singer alone, but I am not joining them. I

1543
01:09:30,479 --> 01:09:33,960
Speaker 1: won't waste yet again time and money on this. There

1544
01:09:33,960 --> 01:09:36,840
Speaker 1: are actions of consequences, and that's their consequence now.

1545
01:09:37,080 --> 01:09:39,559
Speaker 9: Sorry, not sorry, Oh I thank Goodness has seen that

1546
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:39,760
Speaker 9: one