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Speaker 1: Hey, there are folks in this episode nine to two

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Speaker 1: to one. Oh no. Our Glove series continues with the

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Speaker 1: love stories of two folks now who have been in

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Speaker 1: a relationship a marriage for ten years. But get this,

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Speaker 1: one of those years, he rode around with their divorce

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Speaker 1: papers in the back of his truck. Yes, welcome to

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Speaker 1: this special cuffings. He's an edition of ABN TJ. Roobes.

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Speaker 1: This has been a blast. This was our final couple. Boy,

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Speaker 1: they went out with a bang. Didn't I love these two?

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Speaker 2: And certainly did.

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Speaker 3: Jenny Garth and her husband Dave Abrams. They have a

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Speaker 3: nine year age difference. Jenny is nine years older than Dave. Yes,

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Speaker 3: she already had three kids from a previous marriage coming

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Speaker 3: into this relationship. And one of my favorite moments is

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Speaker 3: when we asked about whether or not these two had

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Speaker 3: chemistry when they first met. Because this was a double

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Speaker 3: blind date. They were set up to meet one another,

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Speaker 3: and the moment Jenny says she saw Dave, she said,

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Speaker 3: oh hell no, oh hell no.

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Speaker 1: You know, we we get into this in the interview

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Speaker 1: we do with her, but we have spent some time

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Speaker 1: with her over the past year, and we've heard this

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Speaker 1: story from her in person. Now you'll hear how she

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Speaker 1: answers the question he and what do you say? She said, oh,

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Speaker 1: hell no, Well, she was just like it.

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Speaker 2: Was a hard note for her when she saw him.

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Speaker 1: But then we've talked to her in person and asked

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Speaker 1: her about it. She said what she saw, she was likeugh.

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Speaker 3: Like she right, But she goes on to describe him

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Speaker 3: as tall, dark and handsome with a pea coat, who

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Speaker 3: looked like an actor, and she was just like.

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Speaker 1: Ugh, yeah, but for a lot of people that would

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Speaker 1: sound awesome. He sounds great. He's a good looking, tall,

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Speaker 1: god great guy. But for her, in that world, she

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Speaker 1: was immediately turned off by someone who looked like he

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Speaker 1: was in that world.

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Speaker 3: Yes, because she, of course has spent most of her

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Speaker 3: at least at that point, most of her life in

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Speaker 3: front of the camera in Hollywood. Man, I grew up

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Speaker 3: watching her. I'm the same age as her, so I

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Speaker 3: grew up with her watching her do nine O two

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Speaker 3: and Ozero. But yeah, she was just wanting out of

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Speaker 3: that whole scene. And he looked as though he was

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Speaker 3: a part of it, even though he isn't.

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Speaker 1: He isn't. But these two they were the last now

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Speaker 1: in our series, and they were I said this to

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Speaker 1: you during the interview. I leaned over and I said,

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Speaker 1: these are adults, like they are grown folks who've been

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Speaker 1: through a lot. They've been through previous relationships and marriages,

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Speaker 1: they broke up for a little while, you got step

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Speaker 1: kids involved. There's so much going on. But they also

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Speaker 1: show us that, yes, despite all of that, there's still

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Speaker 1: something to them that is evident in the conversation we're having.

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Speaker 1: It's not just a matter we're still together or we've

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Speaker 1: been together two years. No, you can see them while

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Speaker 1: they sit next to each other and how they talk

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Speaker 1: to each other, that there is something still special going

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Speaker 1: on with these two. I love it.

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Speaker 3: It is inspirational to know that you can get that

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Speaker 3: low and be that bad off where you actually have

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Speaker 3: divorce papers and you are not talking, you are not

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Speaker 3: seeing each other for over a year, and here they are,

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Speaker 3: six years after that tumultuous year. They can sit there

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Speaker 3: and be in love and so comfortable with one another,

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Speaker 3: and the trust that they've built up from going through

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Speaker 3: that trunk is evident and speaks to the strength of

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Speaker 3: their relationship today. So, without further ado, please take a

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Speaker 3: listen to our conversation with Jenny Garth and Dave Abrams.

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Speaker 3: Jenny and Dave are with us now. Thank you all

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Speaker 3: for agreeing to do this, and thank you for being

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Speaker 3: with us today.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, you're welcome. We love seeing you too.

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Speaker 2: I we love seeing you.

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Speaker 3: It's been so much fun to see couple sitting next

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Speaker 3: to each other, interacting with each other while answering the questions.

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Speaker 3: It's a very different experience than just interviewing someone one

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Speaker 3: on one. So this, we promise this will be fun.

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Speaker 2: All right, we'll start off.

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Speaker 3: With each of you give me three words to describe

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Speaker 3: the state of your relationship right now.

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Speaker 2: Who wants to go first?

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Speaker 5: Okay, the first three words that pop in my head,

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Speaker 5: I would say stability. That just popped in my head.

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Speaker 5: I don't know if this is a negative word, but

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Speaker 5: content is like that was another one. No, but it

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Speaker 5: just I'm I'm I've been like mulling over like how

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Speaker 5: I'm very content and and it's like it's it's a

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Speaker 5: weird feeling, because when are you you know, some something's happening,

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Speaker 5: but no, no, no, I'm feeling like trying to understand, trying

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Speaker 5: to understand the words I'm not.

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Speaker 4: I've only gotten.

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Speaker 5: A content stability, and I would say, uh, support is

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Speaker 5: another one. Oh well you yeah, I went first, So

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Speaker 5: I think support is right now. I feel like with

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Speaker 5: her supporting me and me supporting her with all the

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Speaker 5: you know stuff she has going and yeah, and it

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Speaker 5: is the same with me as well. Her support for

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Speaker 5: me is yeah, full on and that's been That was

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Speaker 5: one of the big things early in our relationship was

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Speaker 5: sometimes I felt like I wasn't supported.

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Speaker 1: So okay, that's just question one. We just don't question one. Guys.

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Speaker 1: All right, Jenny, where are your three words support?

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Speaker 6: Support, I wou'd say humorous, we laugh a lot, and reliable.

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Speaker 4: We are we are we always do what we say

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Speaker 4: we're going to do. We're always where we say we're

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Speaker 4: going to be, and that gives both of us, I think,

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Speaker 4: such a sense of stability and that reassurance.

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Speaker 5: There's next places we are actually ever at any good points, so.

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Speaker 4: We don't we don't stray far from our so forth.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, gotchaka, next question here, and we this is going

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Speaker 1: to be fun because we have heard part of the

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Speaker 1: story about how you all met. But the question that

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Speaker 1: we've asked all the couples is was there immediate chemistry

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Speaker 1: when you first.

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Speaker 4: Met you want me to go first?

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Speaker 2: No, it was a blind date, right.

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Speaker 4: It was a blind double date. And I think I

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Speaker 4: told you guys this once on some other podcasts we do.

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Speaker 4: But we we talked about the fact that I walked

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Speaker 4: into the setup location, the restaurant, the bar, and I

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Speaker 4: walked in and I immediately saw a tall, handsome like

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Speaker 4: actor looking guy with scrubble pea coat, so pretentious, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I thought, no, no, so yeah,

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Speaker 4: that was my first I disagree.

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Speaker 5: I think that it was. There was a disagree with

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Speaker 5: my reaction. No chemistry, The question was chemistry. I feel

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Speaker 5: like there was chemistry. We were just kind of like

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Speaker 5: waiting for it because after we left that date with

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Speaker 5: the two people that we were on the date with,

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Speaker 5: we went and had a drink by ourselves, and that's when, Yeah,

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Speaker 5: we had a lot of chemistry. We didn't stop seeing

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Speaker 5: each other like and then we got married.

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Speaker 2: So there, who said I love you first?

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Speaker 5: Probably me?

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Speaker 4: I was thinking, it's probably me. Wow, is it bad

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Speaker 4: that we don't.

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Speaker 1: Remember no this, We've talked all these couples. This is

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Speaker 1: the first time there wasn't an immediate Ah, it's usually

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Speaker 1: is the guy?

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Speaker 2: It was usually the guy.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, okay, but you all can't remember who it was.

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Speaker 5: No, I remember so much vividly. I don't. I feel

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Speaker 5: like it was me, but you feel like it was you.

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Speaker 5: I don't.

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Speaker 4: I don't know. I think I blocked that on my memory.

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Speaker 1: How about I put it this way, you all knowing

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Speaker 1: what you know of each other and your relationship. Now,

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Speaker 1: who is it more likely? You think probably said it first.

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Speaker 4: I feel like it's more likely me because I'm a

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Speaker 4: little bit more of a communicator, like it a clear shooter,

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Speaker 4: you know, I'm like, look, I love you, let's not

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Speaker 4: waste any more time.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that's true, that could be true. Yeah, I agree

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Speaker 5: with that, all right. She's very yeah, very direct.

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Speaker 3: That is a good thing in a relationship. How long

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Speaker 3: did you all date before you got engaged? How long

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Speaker 3: were you engaged before you got married?

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Speaker 4: We were engaged.

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Speaker 5: We got months after we met December, January, February. We

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Speaker 5: were engaged in March. We got married in July.

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Speaker 4: Wow, six months got married at six months?

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Speaker 5: Six months?

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Speaker 3: Did you have any reservations at that, like, for having

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Speaker 3: such an accelerated timeline?

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Speaker 5: Uh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean because I mean, it

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Speaker 5: bit us in the butt like three years down the

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Speaker 5: road because we didn't I mean, we broke up for

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Speaker 5: like eight.

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Speaker 4: Months a year. It was twelve months, actually it was

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Speaker 4: it was like eight months, just twelve.

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Speaker 2: You broke up. You were already married though, so you

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Speaker 2: were you were separated, separated.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think that's because we did jump into

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Speaker 4: it full and fast like that, and I think we

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Speaker 4: could have used a little more time to understand get

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Speaker 4: to know each other and our problem solving where we

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Speaker 4: each were individually, like in our growth and my healing,

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Speaker 4: and you know, we just could have used some more time.

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Speaker 5: Probably. I had a lot of stuff that, you know,

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Speaker 5: that I had to kind of deal with that I

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Speaker 5: didn't deal with in my single days and other relationships

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Speaker 5: that you know, the same patterns were happening. I had

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Speaker 5: to look at myself and also she had to look

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Speaker 5: at herself. And then it's been great ever since. So

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Speaker 5: it was I mean, it's crazy, but it was such

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Speaker 5: a our journey has been such a blessing. I mean,

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Speaker 5: I know it sounds cheesy to say that, but it's

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Speaker 5: it's true. I wouldn't have changed that.

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Speaker 3: That totally makes sense. What happened in those eight or

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Speaker 3: ten months. It was the difference that made the difference

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Speaker 3: that now look at you, how many years later, still together,

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Speaker 3: still happy.

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Speaker 2: What happened during that period of time when you separated.

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Speaker 5: Been back together for like six years during the break

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Speaker 5: when we were broken up.

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Speaker 4: I think we just both, like we said, did a

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Speaker 4: lot of personal growth. I think that prior to the breakup,

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Speaker 4: to the separation, i'll call it, we had been going

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Speaker 4: to couple therapy and that wasn't working for us like that.

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Speaker 4: He did not like that and so and it didn't

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Speaker 4: it didn't help us. So we thought he didn't want

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Speaker 4: to do it anymore. And I thought, well, why don't

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Speaker 4: I just work on myself and you work on yourself,

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Speaker 4: and they'll see what happens and see if that if

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Speaker 4: we uncover some things, some truths about ourselves that we

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Speaker 4: need to look at and you know, grow through. And

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Speaker 4: I think that that's one of the big things that

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Speaker 4: happened while we were separated. He had his divorce papers

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Speaker 4: in a Manila envelope in the back you know how

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Speaker 4: you're he has a truck and then in the back

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Speaker 4: of the truck seat there's a pocket like in the seat. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: the Manila envelope with our divorce papers completely ready to

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Speaker 4: sign here, drove them around for months and months and

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Speaker 4: months in this car.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. So I filed in like April. There was like,

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Speaker 5: you know, the first four months where it's anger and

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Speaker 5: just I don't want to talk to you. I'm done,

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Speaker 5: I'm blah blalah. So I got papers drawn up in

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Speaker 5: like April. I didn't know what I was doing. The

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Speaker 5: guy was like, well, you have community properties, Like I

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Speaker 5: don't care, just do whatever is the easiest fast trap.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god.

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Speaker 5: And then in December January we started kind of dating

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Speaker 5: again and becoming like trying to do like we made

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Speaker 5: it a point to be like a normal couple. I

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Speaker 5: had a little apartment, I had gotten a dog, like

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Speaker 5: I was going through something, and so she you guys.

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Speaker 4: He got a dog, while wa is a dog?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Oh wait, no, you got a new truck, a giant

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Speaker 4: truck that doesn't even fit on the streets of Los Angeles.

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Speaker 1: I mean, okay, he was going through something, Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 2: You is the dog still with you all?

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Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah he's our son now. Yeah, he's like he's

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Speaker 5: in love more. He's in love with Jenny, like that's

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Speaker 5: his person.

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Speaker 1: We're more concerned that you're in love with her and

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Speaker 1: she's still your person. Yeah, mister Manila envelope.

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Speaker 4: Jesus seriously, guys, the Manila envelope was still in there

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Speaker 4: like a year. I think after.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we got back, I just sat there. I don't

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Speaker 5: throw away a lot of stuff.

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Speaker 2: That might be one thing you should throw away though.

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Speaker 5: Yeah it's gone. The truck's gone.

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Speaker 1: Wow, guys, I think we could rap now because you

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Speaker 1: all just answered questions eight through forty. Next question here

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Speaker 1: is there? I'm not sure. Is there an age difference

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Speaker 1: and has it played any role in your relationship?

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Speaker 5: Yes, I'm nine.

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Speaker 4: Years older than Dave.

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Speaker 5: So when we met, I was thirty four, she was

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Speaker 5: forty three, and then we got married. I was thirty

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Speaker 5: five four then five he got married. Oh my god,

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Speaker 5: I can't.

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Speaker 4: When we go back in time and I realized how

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Speaker 4: young you were, it freaks me out a little bit.

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Speaker 5: I was a young thirty five.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what, that made complete sense to me.

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Speaker 1: I didn't get close to the beginning to get my

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Speaker 1: ish together in life until I was probably thirty eight

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Speaker 1: or thirty nine. I was a mess, So that it

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Speaker 1: makes perfect sense.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, yeah, that was that was totally true

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Speaker 5: with me, and then jumping into the situation where I

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Speaker 5: had three step children the ages of like sixteen eleven

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Speaker 5: or or Lola was just twelve, and then Fiona was

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Speaker 5: a seven eight, and then taking all that on and

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Speaker 5: the dogs and then this celebrity and this celebrity that

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Speaker 5: I had just come into her life, and then like

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Speaker 5: paparazzi and like stuff like that, and then.

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Speaker 4: It was a lot.

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Speaker 5: It was a lot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

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Speaker 3: So I mean, that's that's admirable that you all took

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Speaker 3: a beat and it was probably scary as hell and

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Speaker 3: awful for that period of time. But look at you now,

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Speaker 3: that's that's really impressive and it's inspirational for folks who

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Speaker 3: are going through tough times.

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Speaker 2: But you can, you know, you can figure it out.

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Speaker 5: Yeah you want to.

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Speaker 2: That's really cool.

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Speaker 5: I didn't get through it.

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Speaker 4: But back to your point about the age thing, So

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Speaker 4: they're having that gap in age there there have been

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Speaker 4: times when it comes up. I think not as much anymore, because,

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Speaker 4: like we said, he has done some growing up. I've

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Speaker 4: stopped growing up and you keep growing up, which is great.

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Speaker 4: So now we're kind of like in the middle.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I agree. The age difference, I never really felt

290
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Speaker 5: I never really that wasn't that wasn't really a big

291
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Speaker 5: issue to me. It was a bigger issue for everybody

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Speaker 5: else because they would, you know, they would talk about

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Speaker 5: it more in the news or whatever. When we were

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Speaker 5: first together, it was a thing.

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Speaker 3: But funny enough, if a man was nine years older

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Speaker 3: than the woman, no one would say, oh, that's just

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Speaker 3: when It's.

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Speaker 5: Like, no one would that and I no one would care,

299
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Speaker 5: and no it ever gets talked about. But I mean,

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Speaker 5: I think there was a couple other celebrities that Kristin

301
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Speaker 5: Cavaleria was dating like a twenty five year old, and

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Speaker 5: that was all over the news.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I hear you.

304
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Speaker 3: Why did you two and you made the decision very quickly,

305
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Speaker 3: as you just told.

306
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Speaker 2: Us, Why did you two want to be married?

307
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Speaker 3: And where do you think the two of you would

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Speaker 3: be if you had just chosen to stay as a

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Speaker 3: couple and never actually officially legally get married.

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Speaker 4: I think for me, having three you know, grows who

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Speaker 4: were young young tweens and teenagers, it was weird for

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Speaker 4: me to just based on my morals and my upbringings

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Speaker 4: to have a man in the house that I wasn't

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Speaker 4: fully committed to or he wasn't fully committed to me,

315
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Speaker 4: because I didn't want to give them the messaging. That's

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Speaker 4: what was one of the things that was important for me,

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Speaker 4: And maybe that was one of the things that you know,

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Speaker 4: caused us to rush into it because marriage was more

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Speaker 4: important to me. I'm just I'm a Midwestern I like

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Speaker 4: to be married. I like to have full on commitment,

321
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Speaker 4: and I like to know I'm not wasting my time

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Speaker 4: with somebody, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 5: So for me, that yeah, yeah, I mean I think

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Speaker 5: for me, I didn't. I didn't think about marriage. I

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Speaker 5: didn't really think about kids. I didn't. I just was

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Speaker 5: kind of, you know, plugging away, and this kind of

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Speaker 5: just like happened, and I just kind of went with it.

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Speaker 1: I got no appreciate the honesty of that answer, really there, Jenny,

329
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Speaker 1: to be able to talk about it in such a way. Yet,

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Speaker 1: you know what, we probably because of you wanted marriage

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Speaker 1: and because of the way you came up, you probably

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Speaker 1: rushed into the marriage. That was a very honest answer.

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Speaker 5: I appreciate that one hundred percent. I mean I was

334
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Speaker 5: so in love and so like committed. At that time,

335
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Speaker 5: I was like, let's let me do everything I can

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Speaker 5: to show this woman that I am this person and

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Speaker 5: I am committed. And then you know, obviously after the

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Speaker 5: purple roses whatever the saying is, and you've hit reality

339
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Speaker 5: and then you're yeah, it's a lot. But I think

340
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Speaker 5: looking back, I wouldn't have changed anything. But I love

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Speaker 5: what we did.

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Speaker 2: That's very cool.

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Speaker 3: So we I always preface this next question with we

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Speaker 3: ask everyone this question, answer it however you'd like. But

345
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Speaker 3: how would you describe your sex life and how has

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Speaker 3: it changed over the years.

347
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Speaker 4: Well, when we got together. When we first got together,

348
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,480
Speaker 4: I was in my forties, and you know what they

349
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,679
Speaker 4: say about ladies in their forties, late forties, Like I

350
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 4: was ready all the time, right, yeah, yeah.

351
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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, women come into their sexual powers in their

352
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,359
Speaker 3: thirties and forties. Yeah.

353
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Speaker 4: And I think that you had I don't know.

354
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Speaker 5: Where you were this like in the beginning. Yeah, yeah,

355
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,520
Speaker 5: I mean it's always good at the beginning, and then.

356
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Speaker 2: You know, and then you know, yeah, I mean, you know.

357
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Speaker 5: We don't really were We don't really talk a lot

358
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Speaker 5: about sex and stuff like that. I'm pretty modest, I

359
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:48,240
Speaker 5: don't I've never you know, been very wealth Yeah, totally,

360
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,640
Speaker 5: but I would say that it's definitely gotten better. There's

361
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:56,680
Speaker 5: definitely been challenges with menopause and certain things and.

362
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Speaker 4: Teenage kids in the house all the time.

363
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Speaker 5: We have never we never have an empty house. So

364
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,680
Speaker 5: it's like, I mean even the twenty two year old

365
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,360
Speaker 5: those with us, which I love that she's here. Her

366
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 5: boyfriend's also here like a lot, which I love him too,

367
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Speaker 5: but it's a full house.

368
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Speaker 4: Does that have effect? Yeah, we go on weekend ways.

369
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,960
Speaker 5: We just did, like just like we just went to

370
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,440
Speaker 5: Palm Springs for like a night just to get out,

371
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,840
Speaker 5: just to be like, we throw the phone away, we

372
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,399
Speaker 5: just need to get away. And that was great. But

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00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:31,400
Speaker 5: that we have.

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Speaker 4: To get speak quiet all the time. That I hope

375
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,159
Speaker 4: my kids aren't listening to this. You don't need to

376
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 4: be quiet. All our balls are shared by two teenage girls.

377
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 5: Like it's a thing.

378
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:43,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's tough.

379
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,840
Speaker 5: And we know this because they've said, well, why were

380
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,639
Speaker 5: you guys arguing those I was like, it wasn't what

381
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Speaker 5: are you talking about?

382
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 4: That was Now when we have sex, we argue just

383
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:54,320
Speaker 4: to fool them.

384
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 5: Oh my god, we turn on the TV. We've last

385
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Speaker 5: the TV.

386
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Speaker 1: This is a real relationship here. This is great, all right,

387
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 1: next question here, aside from sex though physical touch, how

388
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Speaker 1: important is physical touch? For example, walking down the street,

389
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Speaker 1: do you find yourself you're always holding hands. If you're

390
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,160
Speaker 1: in the room, do you find yourselves rubbing up against

391
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 1: each other? How important is that to you?

392
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 4: Well, I know you two are touchers. You like physical connection.

393
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:28,879
Speaker 4: I love that about your couple. But we always hold hands.

394
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 4: I think when we met, I was like, here's a

395
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 4: couple things that are really important to me. I like

396
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:37,200
Speaker 4: to have my handheld, and I like someone to open

397
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Speaker 4: the door for me, like all the time. Never I

398
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 4: never touch a doorknob, Like that's kind of like my dream.

399
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 4: And he was all for that. We hold hands constantly,

400
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 4: and I'm a lot more touchy, I think than he is.

401
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:56,119
Speaker 4: But also we're very independent, so there's times when I

402
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,280
Speaker 4: don't need it, he doesn't need it, but I should

403
00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 4: need that hug at the end of the day or

404
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:00,960
Speaker 4: before big thing I need.

405
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 5: Yeah. I've kind of been, i mean, growing into being

406
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 5: more affectionate, especially with the girls. Like you know, I'm

407
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,720
Speaker 5: not I'm not very affectionate. I mean I show my

408
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 5: love and how I do like I show up for people.

409
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,880
Speaker 5: I'm there. That's kind of like my showing like affection.

410
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 5: I know she always needs like a hug, so it's

411
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,120
Speaker 5: like tuning that in just to go hug her out

412
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,200
Speaker 5: of the blue, or like give one of the girls

413
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 5: a hug like that's a big thing for me, just

414
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:31,920
Speaker 5: to even hug.

415
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 4: Like it's kind of like the way you grew up.

416
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 4: Probably physical, No, we snuggle my my kids and I

417
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 4: snuggle constantly, so that physical touch is really important.

418
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 2: That's cute. I love that.

419
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,000
Speaker 3: So we know that you pretend to fight when you're

420
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 3: having sex, but how often do.

421
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:50,320
Speaker 2: You actually fight?

422
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:54,159
Speaker 6: So?

423
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, how often do you actually fight? And is there

424
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 3: something you fight about?

425
00:21:58,960 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 2: Most?

426
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 4: I think we argue about the girls, one the youngest,

427
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:11,679
Speaker 4: probably in particular, just because of maybe not understanding I

428
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 4: understand her in a different way than he might be

429
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 4: able to. What else is there we do? We argue

430
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:22,880
Speaker 4: about money? No, because we're kind of his her and hours, So.

431
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:27,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, what do we are allowed to argue?

432
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 1: Golf?

433
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 5: Golf? That's what he's going to say, golf.

434
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 4: I'm a golf widow.

435
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 2: Oh. I was trying to figure out he golfs too much?

436
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 2: And it takes it takes what six hours, seven hours?

437
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:43,720
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm I'm on a golf team and then

438
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,439
Speaker 5: we're in season right now, and then you have to

439
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 5: have a dinner after you play on Thursday, and it's

440
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 5: a bunch of other clubs golf.

441
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 2: Then there's the nineteenth hole.

442
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 1: I know, one night a week.

443
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 5: Well, in this it's not.

444
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 4: A nice t J. It's damn day.

445
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 1: Okay, so one day a week.

446
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, but yeah, and then tournaments and stuff like that.

447
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 5: It can be like a weekend. But but that's it.

448
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 5: Like I only go to golf work, okay, don't.

449
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 4: I used to care about it a lot more. Now

450
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,920
Speaker 4: I'm so busy. I'm like, go do your thing. I'll

451
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 4: see you later. What bring me dinner? I don't know

452
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:19,960
Speaker 4: what's happening.

453
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 5: And it's interesting. I've been I've been sober for like

454
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 5: two and a half almost three years, so like being

455
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,959
Speaker 5: around this environment where guys are just getting trash, I

456
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,440
Speaker 5: just haven't. I just sit there like it. He doesn't really.

457
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't care get involved with that part anymore,

458
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 4: which is such. I mean, like I didn't never know

459
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 4: jumping onto that topic, like I didn't never know how insecure.

460
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 4: That environment made me not insecure, but just unstable, like destabilized.

461
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 4: When like my husband would go and you know, drink

462
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 4: with the guys at the club, I worry, like I

463
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,959
Speaker 4: worry about I'm driving, and I just I don't know,

464
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,159
Speaker 4: I think that since he stopped drinking by his choice,

465
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:08,119
Speaker 4: it was, it's been such a secure feeling for me.

466
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 4: I love it. I stopped drinking too, So we're in

467
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 4: it together.

468
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 2: Oh, very cool.

469
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,679
Speaker 1: All right, Well, next question here, When was the last time,

470
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,199
Speaker 1: I don't know how, Maybe this was this morning, or

471
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,959
Speaker 1: maybe it was weeks ago, the last time you remember

472
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 1: having to say I'm sorry to the other And what

473
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:25,639
Speaker 1: was it for?

474
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 5: Oh, that's a good question. I feel like I just

475
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 5: said I'm sorry for something.

476
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: Probably it was probably on golf day.

477
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:38,399
Speaker 4: He doesn't apologize for that.

478
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 5: What was it recently? It was like it was recently.

479
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 5: It was like this past weekend.

480
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 4: I don't know.

481
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 5: Oh was it Sunday morning? And I was so frustrated

482
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 5: because it was the game. I went into work and

483
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 5: then I came back and then they were reupholstering shared

484
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,959
Speaker 5: so everything.

485
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 4: Sunday you're not supposed to do any household chores.

486
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:09,159
Speaker 5: My daughter, Lola and her are constantly they work on

487
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 5: the brand together, but they're constantly doing like projects, like

488
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 5: they don't stop. Like they took apart this these two

489
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 5: seats that were pink and re upholstered them. When I

490
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 5: got my upholster guy, he was like, we could I

491
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 5: could do it for nine hundred bucks, but.

492
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 4: We wanted to do it ourselves.

493
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 5: So they couldn't do it themselves. So they needed a

494
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 5: little bit of help. But Sunday morning, the.

495
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,360
Speaker 4: Staple or gun, those are really hard to use, you guys,

496
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,400
Speaker 4: on my hand is not that strong anymore.

497
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 5: And then now they want to cut the barstools three

498
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 5: inches off the metal, which they need a welder to

499
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 5: do that.

500
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 4: So they asked what time when you were? Sorry?

501
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,160
Speaker 5: Lest I think it was Sunday?

502
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:49,639
Speaker 4: I was.

503
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 5: I had a little bit of a temper tandrent because

504
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,159
Speaker 5: then the internet then they had the internet guy coming

505
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,919
Speaker 5: over on Sunday on a Sunday.

506
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 1: The Internet guy on a Sunday jednie.

507
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,959
Speaker 4: That appointment up and then he got mad at oh happening?

508
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 5: Well they were well, they were late, and then this

509
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 5: guy's like, well we got to run these wires. It's noon.

510
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 5: I gotta be so. Yeah, I did say I was

511
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 5: sorry because you were being a little bio because I

512
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,200
Speaker 5: was being a bitch a little bit. But I had

513
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,159
Speaker 5: a lot of anxiety about the Eagles and then you know,

514
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 5: facilitating people at work, and so yeah, you know.

515
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 3: I think it takes a lot, though, to admit that

516
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,679
Speaker 3: you know, and to say you're sorry.

517
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 2: I think that's cool and that's what it's all about.

518
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 5: Right.

519
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 1: Oh man, I'm if I had to be asked this question.

520
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: I didn't think about until now. The last time I

521
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,919
Speaker 1: had to say I'm sorry was for something similar. I apologize.

522
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,120
Speaker 1: We get up two three in the morning sometimes don't

523
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 1: get a lot of sleep, and I was just frantic

524
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 1: and I was not in a good way. I'm slamming

525
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 1: stuff in a hurry. And I later just said, you

526
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 1: know what, I'm sorry for how I was. I was

527
00:26:59,200 --> 00:26:59,880
Speaker 1: not in a good way.

528
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 2: It's amazing to hear it. I wasn't even upset about it.

529
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 3: I knew that you hadn't slept that much, and it

530
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 3: was cool to have you even say that when I

531
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 3: wasn't even I didn't even say anything, But it makes

532
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 3: it makes a big difference.

533
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think saying sorry is so underrated because it

534
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 4: really makes the other person feel seen and respected. I

535
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 4: think when there's a conflict, to work it out on

536
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,360
Speaker 4: your own and come back to the person and have

537
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,400
Speaker 4: that clear conversation with like, I'm not going to point

538
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 4: the finger at you in this situation. I'm going to

539
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 4: point the thumb and look at how I what my

540
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 4: bark wasn't And it just feels really reassuring to have that.

541
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 4: I think I apologize to him this morning because he

542
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 4: walked into the bedroom with this giant cup of coffee

543
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 4: from Starbucks and he was just sitting there holding it

544
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 4: and drinking it, and I just stared at her. I

545
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 4: was like, where's Mike. You didn't get me any You

546
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 4: didn't get me a tea? And he said no, I didn't.

547
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 4: He's like, oh you didn't. You didn't you went to Starbus,

548
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 4: you didn't get meyone? He said, no, I didn't think

549
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 4: of you. And then so I go, oh, mad, yeah,

550
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 4: not terribly.

551
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,119
Speaker 5: Well. I was joking with her.

552
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 4: He was joking, I'm sorry that I believed you.

553
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 2: Basically that's hilarious. I said, but that's cute. You still

554
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:19,719
Speaker 2: have a little humor.

555
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 3: You knew she might get mad, but it would be

556
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 3: a funny moment when she realized.

557
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 1: I get it right. You said, I'm sorry that I

558
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:27,360
Speaker 1: thought you were in Is that right?

559
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 5: Yeah?

560
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 4: Okay, it like that apology.

561
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: Sorry about that day? All right? Next up here speak Well,

562
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 1: we'll stick with the mad and the fight theme for

563
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,479
Speaker 1: a second. This will be the last one in that regard.

564
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 1: Do you make a point of not going to bed

565
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: angry or do sometimes you do.

566
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 4: It sometimes angry?

567
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 5: Yes, I mean I would like to make it a

568
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 5: point not to go to bed angry, but sometimes we

569
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 5: do go to bed angry.

570
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 4: You just gotta call it. Sometimes.

571
00:28:56,560 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 5: You ever have the you know where it's it's getting late,

572
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 5: and you know you're sitting on the side of the

573
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 5: bed and you're like, well, I'm going to go in there,

574
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 5: but I'm not. I'm just going to stay in this

575
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 5: And then you're just like, well, we're exhausted, what's good?

576
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 4: So? Or did you know those times when when like

577
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 4: my world would be so going so fast that it's

578
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 4: not until I lay my head on the pillow that

579
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 4: I kind of assess things with regard to like what

580
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 4: we're going through and what we're talking about where we are,

581
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 4: And that's when I'm like, so, should we talk about

582
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 4: the thing.

583
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,479
Speaker 5: And maybe at that point where I'm like, no, I

584
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 5: had all the like, honey, honey, yeah that's the thing,

585
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 5: Like I should be better at that. But that is

586
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 5: that is where I've kind of had more time because

587
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 5: she is so busy and when I'm done, I'm done,

588
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 5: and she's yeah she wants to talk at that point

589
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 5: where it's like midnight and I'm like, no, I'm out.

590
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,240
Speaker 2: What do you each love the most about the other?

591
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 4: I love that Dave is fun.

592
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 5: He's fun.

593
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 4: He makes me laugh in every situation. He's like he's

594
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 4: like a walking Saturday Night Live show all the time.

595
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 4: He's always doing like voices and mimic. You know, He's

596
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 4: just fun to hang out with. He's brought such a

597
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 4: levity into our home. And you know, because the kids

598
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 4: and I went through a really hard time with the

599
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 4: divorce and the family's breaking up and everything, and when

600
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 4: he came in, that's what we all noticed that we

601
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 4: all just felt happier when he was around. So that's

602
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 4: one of the things I love about.

603
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 5: Well, Honey, I'm gonna cry at nine o'clock in the morning.

604
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 4: I also love that he's tall, because I am short

605
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 4: and I can't reach a lot of things, so that's

606
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 4: really helpful.

607
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 5: I love most about Jenny is she's fierce. I don't know,

608
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 5: like she's she just when she says she's going to

609
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 5: do something, she does it. Her loyalty is unmatched, and

610
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 5: I've learned a lot about that. It's almost loyal to

611
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 5: a fault, but I'd rather do that than the opposite.

612
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 5: And she's had the same people around her for thirty

613
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 5: something years and that says a lot about who she

614
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 5: is and her character, and I've learned a lot. Yeah,

615
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 5: I mean, I love I just you know, when you

616
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 5: she's just my human and so even though I tried

617
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 5: to get away, just that's just the way it is.

618
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 3: You know.

619
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 1: It wasn't lost on us either, Jenny. Since we've been

620
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 1: asking questions, there were some you deferred and you pause

621
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 1: and you say, hey, you go first, but we when

622
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: she asked what do you love most about the other?

623
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:05,479
Speaker 1: You jumped in immediately and had something you knew and

624
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 1: you wanted to speak first on that. So that wasn't law.

625
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 1: That was a very cute moment to see. We got

626
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: to turn to some practical stuff. Now the household you kind

627
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: of alluded to it, But this happens in every relationship.

628
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: How do you handle household finances together separate? How does

629
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 1: it work?

630
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 5: Well, it's a little different. I mean it's different.

631
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 4: Situation is different. Is not traditional.

632
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 5: I would say, no, I contribute to household around our house.

633
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 5: But if I wasn't married to my wife, I would

634
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 5: not be living in this house. Let's just say so.

635
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 4: Probably stepped into a lifestyle that he did not see coming,

636
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 4: and I would never ever expect him to.

637
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 5: Being that.

638
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 4: I I've always been independent financially since I started making money.

639
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 4: I always will take care myself and my kids. So

640
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 4: I never would expect him to come in and take

641
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 4: care of me, or take care of the girls, or

642
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 4: pay fifty percent of what or what take over the

643
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:13,480
Speaker 4: payments for this lifestyle that I've created for myself and

644
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 4: the girls.

645
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 5: So we did. Yeah, we did have some resentment. She

646
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 5: had some resentment towards me a couple of years ago,

647
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 5: just because it was like after COVID, I'm in the

648
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 5: restaurant business. I lost one, I sold another one, and

649
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 5: then I was starting a new one. So we had

650
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 5: we had to go through a lot of like growing

651
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 5: pains to where we got now to where it on

652
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 5: that front, we're very secure in what our contributions are

653
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 5: to this family and that probably for the first time

654
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 5: in our marriage we've both felt that way. And yeah,

655
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 5: so I think that that was a very that was

656
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 5: a big point of contention our relationship that we just

657
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 5: kind of swept under the rug a little bit, but

658
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 5: it did when we had to confront it, I go, Okay,

659
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 5: I didn't know you were feeling that well way, so

660
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 5: let's do this to alleviate that, and me working and

661
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 5: busting to help her in that way, it was a

662
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 5: it makes me feel good, as you know, as a

663
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 5: partner that it's not all on.

664
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 4: Her right, but it's always We've always been very clear

665
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 4: that this is the world that I created and I

666
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 4: live in, and I don't expect you to jump into

667
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:39,439
Speaker 4: this financially because that's not you know, I wouldn't ask

668
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 4: anybody to jump into a situation that they are not

669
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 4: familiar with. So I think that we've navigated it pretty well.

670
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:49,399
Speaker 4: And I will say too, like you know, I used to.

671
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,720
Speaker 4: I've said before in certain relationships, like when the woman

672
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 4: is the you know, breadwinner or makes more money than

673
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,919
Speaker 4: the man, that I heard Sally Field say this once.

674
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 4: It's like a cancer eats away the relationship, which is

675
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 4: a pretty dramatic visual, but it's honestly like there's a

676
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 4: seed planted, and if that seed of resentment or contempt

677
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 4: or any bitterness about that, if that seed is watered,

678
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,879
Speaker 4: it really can grow and just some a big fat

679
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 4: weed in your relationship. So I think that really being

680
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 4: honest and upfront about each of our independent finances and

681
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 4: how we see ourselves and then how we see us

682
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 4: as a couple has really benefited us.

683
00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 5: Yeah. I mean when we first met, she didn't know.

684
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,760
Speaker 5: When I first moved in with her at the other house,

685
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,240
Speaker 5: I was like, well, so what's your what's the electrical bill?

686
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 5: Let me see what that looks like. She didn't know.

687
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 5: So that's where we started. So I had to like

688
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 5: delve in, do you know that this is much money?

689
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 5: We shouldn't keep that full heater on because that's a

690
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 5: lot of money.

691
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,760
Speaker 4: Like the water warm, what's.

692
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:10,359
Speaker 5: The so things like that. That's gotten a lot better

693
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 5: where she, over our tenure relationship, has learned so much

694
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 5: more about finances and has gotten her own finances under

695
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 5: control and and and it's so wonderful to see her

696
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 5: bloom in that regard and for me just to say, well,

697
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 5: I you know, I helped her with that as well

698
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 5: as she supported me with other things, you know. I

699
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:37,839
Speaker 5: mean COVID was tough. I mean I opened a new

700
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 5: spot and I was working five nights a week just

701
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 5: going in there, and you know, she supported me through that,

702
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,240
Speaker 5: and then now we're at this point. It's great.

703
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:49,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so cool.

704
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 3: I mean because finances, I mean, it is a topic

705
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 3: that people don't want to discuss. And I think didn't

706
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:58,399
Speaker 3: they say people would prefer to talk about sex, even

707
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 3: uncomfortable conversations about sex, versus uncomfortable conversations about money, Like

708
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 3: money is just this taboo topic that can eat away you.

709
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 3: So that's a really thank you for sharing that because

710
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,240
Speaker 3: I think that's very relatable to a lot of people.

711
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 1: Guys. While you were giving your answer, I kept nudging

712
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 1: her and whispering they're adults. Yeah, like that was just

713
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 1: a grown up answer. I know, you know what I'm saying.

714
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,359
Speaker 1: You hear all kinds of answers, but you all, that's

715
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 1: real life and adulthood right there. And that's what I

716
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:24,399
Speaker 1: kept nudging her.

717
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 5: Thanks. I told her that if we're buried together one day,

718
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 5: someone's going to put mister Garth by accident. And I'm told.

719
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 4: He doesn't give a ship.

720
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 5: He's like that.

721
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 4: When you check into a hotel, if he calls them.

722
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 5: By, they go, they go, mister, mister Garth, Hey, what's up?

723
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 4: Man?

724
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,759
Speaker 1: I've been called mister before. I love it when they

725
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 1: call the room, would you like?

726
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 3: Uh?

727
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 1: Sent up?

728
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 3: He never corrects them either. He thinks it's hilarious.

729
00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 4: A guy that doesn't that's not an issue for them, Like,

730
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 4: who cares?

731
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:07,319
Speaker 2: It's so nice. It is so nice. Yes, that is

732
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 2: not lost on me.

733
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 3: By the way, thank you for being always like never

734
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,800
Speaker 3: getting offended by that or having your manhood, you know.

735
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 3: But let's take it some way somehow, So I appreciate that.

736
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 3: How do you guys handle household chores like cooking, cleaning, laundry, try.

737
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,760
Speaker 2: All that stuff that people fight about.

738
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 5: I love. Can we do this once a week? This

739
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 5: is this is great. I'll start first. I do the poop.

740
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 5: I do a lot of poop, dog poop, peep. I

741
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:46,359
Speaker 5: feed the dogs. I do the dishes. I load the

742
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 5: dishes in the morning because I'm the morning person. They

743
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 5: get a lot of dishes at night. I unload it

744
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 5: in the morning, I take out the trash.

745
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 4: You're in charge of turning off the lights and are

746
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 4: huge doors because every no one turns off lights.

747
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 5: I'm like that guy, like it's sign. I put a

748
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 5: big sign in the eighteen year old room before she

749
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 5: walks out. Lights.

750
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 2: Lights, lights, that's funny.

751
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's constantly. Yeah, she's constantly.

752
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 4: I'm a homemaker, so I'll do anything. I love it.

753
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 4: I love I would rather be doing like household chores

754
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 4: than most things.

755
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 5: So it's wild.

756
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 1: You've got a full house there. So but the cooking

757
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 1: in the laundry has to be a big deal. How

758
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: how are those two things handled?

759
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 4: Well, we let the girls do their own laundry, thank god,

760
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,959
Speaker 4: and we alternate the lawn well usually Tuesday night.

761
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 5: Tuesday night's the laundry night, and she'll do it and

762
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 5: then I'll put it away. That's kind of how I.

763
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 3: Us have like such an awesome system, Like you even

764
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 3: knew what night you do laundry and you tag team everything.

765
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 2: That's remarkable.

766
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have to admit a eighty percent of our

767
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 1: couples that were they were doing great. Now, all the

768
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 1: questions we got the laundry, and there are cracks and

769
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 1: the relationship. So it's very impressive to hear you will

770
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 1: handle it the way you do it.

771
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 5: Don't get don't get me wrong. I hate laundry's that's

772
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 5: probably that's the thing. I hate them.

773
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 4: I don't mind it, so it works out.

774
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 1: Next question here, tell us how much time do you

775
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 1: find that you need, not just a loan, but away

776
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 1: from each other. It sounds like you get enough of

777
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:34,359
Speaker 1: it just naturally, but do you find that you need

778
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 1: some time apart?

779
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 4: I feel like we during our therapy work, we both

780
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:46,320
Speaker 4: learned the concept of circle, square circle from our therapist

781
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 4: or my therapist who was also seeing you. But Wade,

782
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 4: wait Davis, he taught us this that we're each our

783
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:57,240
Speaker 4: own individual circles and then in the middle is the square,

784
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 4: and that square represents our our relationship together. So we

785
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 4: both have these circles that we on a daily basis

786
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 4: are filling with you know, work and doing things that

787
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 4: make us happy and you know, clipping off all those

788
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 4: pieces of the pie that make somebody whole. Right, So

789
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:19,400
Speaker 4: those circles are whole and independent of one another. And

790
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,359
Speaker 4: then that square in the middle is empty and we

791
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:26,360
Speaker 4: put into it whatever we want, like if well, however,

792
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 4: we want to nurture the relationship. So we try to

793
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 4: keep that square in the middle in our in our

794
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 4: sights and you know, in our goals, and we try

795
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 4: to put into that square. But I think that that

796
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:43,359
Speaker 4: awareness for me was really essential because I am kind

797
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 4: of a co dependent person on only my family, like

798
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:50,840
Speaker 4: certain like my kids and my husband. So I but

799
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 4: i'ms also okay with being codependent a little bit. I

800
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 4: I you know the word interdependent. Yes, yes, that's my

801
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 4: new that one, because I don't think codependency is like

802
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 4: a terrible thing. I love people and I want to

803
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 4: be around them.

804
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 2: I'm the same way, Jenny. I'm the same way for me.

805
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:12,359
Speaker 5: I was I was. I needed that kind of independence

806
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 5: I needed in my time. I needed to go, you know,

807
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 5: be away and then so I can fill that bucket

808
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,840
Speaker 5: and so that I could come back and and golf

809
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,840
Speaker 5: for me kind of checks all those boxes. It checks

810
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 5: the social box, it checks the activity box, it checks

811
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 5: the mental health box, because you're so into that. So

812
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 5: we have worked that's a that's been a big part

813
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:41,320
Speaker 5: of how we worked. Like when we first got together,

814
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:43,840
Speaker 5: I used to go on these football trips with my

815
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 5: Oklahoma friends to go see ou football and we would

816
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:50,320
Speaker 5: do that, and that was tough for her. She didn't

817
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 5: understand that. She couldn't understand that.

818
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,280
Speaker 4: I think that I was just in a different place

819
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 4: at that point, Like I wasn't interested in my husband

820
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 4: going off and getting drunk, and you know, he was

821
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 4: at a different place. And I think as we've matured,

822
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 4: those things have settled in and like eased up so

823
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 4: they they aren't in, they aren't thorns.

824
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 5: Correct, Yeah, it's not as it's no big deal now

825
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 5: like it it was so much of a big deal.

826
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:20,919
Speaker 4: But he's a Gemini and I'm an Aries. I don't

827
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 4: know if you I don't know that much about astrology,

828
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,399
Speaker 4: but I know that Geminis are the people that have

829
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 4: two sides, right, which I didn't really know until like

830
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 4: three years in. I never I never was like, oh

831
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,800
Speaker 4: my gosh, I'm seeing the other side of the Gemini.

832
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 4: And I'm an Aries, which is very strong willed and

833
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 4: determined and you know, so it's an interesting combination.

834
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 3: Super super independent le Leo and Aquarius is what we are.

835
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 2: Gemini, I'm not that good and that I only know about.

836
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 4: It better I wish I knew more about astrology.

837
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 5: Because I think it's super I just know geminis get

838
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 5: a bad rap.

839
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:16,400
Speaker 3: The funny thing is the next couple of questions you

840
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,959
Speaker 3: all have absolutely already answered, like have you ever broken up? Yes?

841
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,400
Speaker 2: Have you ever been a couple of therapy? Yes, But

842
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 2: we have this question.

843
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 3: Have you ever in the middle of an argument threatened

844
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:34,600
Speaker 3: to get divorced, threatened to leave the relationship outside of when.

845
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,399
Speaker 2: You guys actually did do that.

846
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 3: Have you ever used or reached that point where you

847
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 3: threw that bomb at the in an argument?

848
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 4: Oh? Yeah, in the earlier days, we really did. And

849
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 4: that was super hard for me because stabilizing, like to

850
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:56,799
Speaker 4: be told I'm out of here, this is even doing this,

851
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:00,080
Speaker 4: or you know, it's the worst each other. It's the

852
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 4: worst feeling.

853
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:05,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I'm my biggest thing I have to work

854
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,720
Speaker 5: on in my whole entire life is fight or flight.

855
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:12,840
Speaker 5: It's just such a for me. When I leave a situation,

856
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 5: it's this like almost rebirth. It feels so good to me.

857
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 5: It's like it's crazy, but it's not healthy, you know

858
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 5: what I'm saying, Like, Yeah, so I would like in

859
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 5: those fights that where normally I would just leave and

860
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:30,319
Speaker 5: go in the other room or just leave. I just

861
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:34,120
Speaker 5: have chosen to just stay. And so for me just

862
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 5: to even stay even when nothing's getting solved and still

863
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 5: the shit dad has meant so much more to her

864
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 5: and stabilized her even though in my whole being it's

865
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 5: killing me.

866
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 4: It's so interesting that we met, like we paired up

867
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:52,800
Speaker 4: because I have abandonment issues from my father, initially getting

868
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 4: really sick and like kind of losing that father figure

869
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 4: even though he's stayed alive for a long time. I felt,

870
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,760
Speaker 4: I think, abandoned as a young girl. And then relationships

871
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 4: happen and marriages and those kinds of things happened, so

872
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 4: it kind of embedded that further in me. But and

873
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:15,040
Speaker 4: then I met somebody who likes to leave, like who

874
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 4: doesn't who I'm I was in the beginning always like,

875
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,399
Speaker 4: well I think he might leave again, Like he's gonna leave,

876
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 4: so how can you you know?

877
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, it's that's why I said at the

878
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,839
Speaker 5: at the beginning of this content for the like the

879
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 5: first point part, I mean, in my life I have

880
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 5: felt complete content. There is no like I got it.

881
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 5: How am I getting out of this situation? Okay? What

882
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 5: good do I have one hundred thousand dollars where I

883
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 5: could just go make a new life somewhere.

884
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 2: Every everybody has had that though.

885
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,239
Speaker 5: These are the thoughts, right, but you've got to block those.

886
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,399
Speaker 5: I mean, just this is this is the this is

887
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 5: these are the crazy wirings that I have that I

888
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 5: have to like work on.

889
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:07,319
Speaker 4: It's just me who's like, leaving isn't an option. You're

890
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 4: either in or.

891
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,360
Speaker 5: You're out, like and it feels so much better to

892
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 5: have made that commitment and being like, man, this is

893
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 5: this is what I am in. I've made these choices,

894
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 5: and I am so better off.

895
00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:21,239
Speaker 3: I totally get that. Like, I absolutely have that same

896
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 3: instinct like I have to get out of here. I

897
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 3: have to, like, I have to leave.

898
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:27,319
Speaker 2: And he's like, if you leave, you will not be

899
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:27,879
Speaker 2: coming back.

900
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 1: That's no, no, no wait wait, that's only if you

901
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,919
Speaker 1: make the threat. Yeah, I never put you out.

902
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:36,239
Speaker 3: Oh no, no no, you're just saying if you walk

903
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 3: out that door, no, that it will be locked.

904
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 5: The way.

905
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:43,359
Speaker 1: So today's point to hear. I was really interested Dave

906
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 1: and hearing what you were saying there about you know,

907
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 1: the fight or flight thing to where I'm never the

908
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:51,839
Speaker 1: one that's usually trying to fly. But if you tell

909
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:53,960
Speaker 1: me you mentioned something about just how you're able to

910
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: move on. It's the next thing. When someone tells me

911
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 1: this relationship is over or I'm done or I'm leaving,

912
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 1: I'm already in my mind. How am I going to

913
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 1: get her things back over to her? Wow? If FedEx

914
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:10,320
Speaker 1: is open at a thirty tomorrow, like I'm done? Yeah, yeah,

915
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 1: not because I choose to, but I listen to someone.

916
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:16,360
Speaker 1: I don't play that game, so we it's been interesting

917
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:18,399
Speaker 1: the Bag of Force. I really set up, Dave when

918
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,839
Speaker 1: you were talking about that fight or flight and how

919
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:22,280
Speaker 1: your mind kind of works.

920
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's not I don't even think it's a game.

921
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 3: I think you're it's your it's your ego protecting you.

922
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 3: It's my ego protecting me. It's your ego protect You

923
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 3: have to have your backup plan, you have to have

924
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 3: what am I doing now to protect myself? Because I'm

925
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 3: feeling really hurt and really scared? So what do I

926
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:40,239
Speaker 3: do to protect myself? And everybody has different responses to that,

927
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 3: But thank you for like articulating that, because I think

928
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 3: a lot of people would relate to that, and I

929
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 3: think it's really cool that even though you have that

930
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 3: tendency as so many people do as I do too,

931
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 3: that you say, I'm going to make a choice. I'm

932
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:58,279
Speaker 3: in this relationship and I'm going to I Am not

933
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 3: going to do this thing. It will make me feel

934
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 3: good right now because the harm it will do later

935
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 3: is not worth it.

936
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's that's such a good point that you mentioned ego,

937
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:10,680
Speaker 5: because that's one hundred percent what it is. That's one

938
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 5: hundred percent what like it hits to your core and

939
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 5: that's just false evidence appearing real, you know what I mean.

940
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 4: Oh, this is so good. He taught me that fear

941
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:26,760
Speaker 4: that's the false evidence, is false evidence appearing real.

942
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:33,840
Speaker 2: Wow, that's so cool. I love that and it's so true.

943
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, you said a lot like when I'm when I'm

944
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 4: feeling fearful of anything, Like I'll just come back to

945
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,439
Speaker 4: that and think, oh, okay.

946
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:44,919
Speaker 3: That's a good thing to say to yourself when you're

947
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 3: feeling that, especially if you Yeah, that's oh my gosh,

948
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:48,799
Speaker 3: I'm using that.

949
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 2: Thank you.

950
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 1: We'll use it tomorrow. Yeah, morning, all right, next last

951
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,879
Speaker 1: few things there, we'll get to these last few here

952
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 1: for you. What is it? And I want to use

953
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 1: the word warn, But what is it if you saw

954
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 1: a whole line of couples lined up at city Hall

955
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,720
Speaker 1: going into get married at the justice of the piece,

956
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,880
Speaker 1: what is it you would want to go down that

957
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:12,839
Speaker 1: line and make sure you tell every couple make sure

958
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: you consider this, think about this, or even warn them

959
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 1: about don't do it before they say I do.

960
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,719
Speaker 4: I see somebody getting married, I'm like, oh, don't do it.

961
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:27,800
Speaker 2: Oh just wait a little while. Yeah, through some things first.

962
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 4: But I think that's just like, I don't think that's true.

963
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 4: I think that's the bitter miss in me. But I

964
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:38,560
Speaker 4: feel like now with the relationship that we've developed into,

965
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 4: I could give them tips and pointers all day long about,

966
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:49,360
Speaker 4: you know, just how to have a more harmonious life together.

967
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 5: I would just I would say, are you ready to work?

968
00:50:56,239 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 5: Because it's like it's not for everyone. I mean, I

969
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,439
Speaker 5: don't know. I mean somebody way back in the day

970
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,400
Speaker 5: we don't even know, said you guys get married and

971
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 5: then you do this, and then this is how it's

972
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 5: supposed to be the social whatever. I don't know if

973
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 5: it's for everyone. I would just say, if you're willing

974
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:17,359
Speaker 5: to commit and make and that will fulfill you and

975
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:20,399
Speaker 5: the work will fulfill you. Then go, yeah, do it.

976
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:23,720
Speaker 5: But it's yeah, that's.

977
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:26,760
Speaker 3: So good, Dave, because we watch all these relationship shows

978
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 3: are one of our favorites is Married at First Sight,

979
00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 3: and we keep hearing all the couples say, it's okay,

980
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 3: you guys love it too, But it's just.

981
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 2: Like dumbist line, I'm somebody's wife.

982
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 1: The dumb one is we go crazy. I didn't think

983
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:43,799
Speaker 1: marriage would be this hard.

984
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:45,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, everyone says I didn't think it was going to

985
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:47,759
Speaker 3: be hard, and they they love the idea and the

986
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 3: concept of being someone's wife or having a husband, but

987
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:53,320
Speaker 3: it's almost like anybody could fill the spot.

988
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:54,720
Speaker 2: They just want to be married.

989
00:51:55,239 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 3: But what people think is just going to be this

990
00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 3: immediate union where you just have a partner who's all

991
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:03,120
Speaker 3: always on your side, and that is just so not true.

992
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 5: We probably we could have been on that show. That's

993
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 5: how we were, and then that's probably the feelings that

994
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 5: we had the same things like well, we're married, we're

995
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 5: husband wife and then.

996
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:21,920
Speaker 2: Oh crap, now this is actually hard. What am I

997
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 2: supposed to do?

998
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 3: Now? This isn't what I signed up for. I think

999
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 3: is something that other people say too. On the show

1000
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 3: that actually is exactly what you signed up for. You

1001
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 3: just didn't know what you were signing up for.

1002
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 4: No, it's hard, it's hard work, and it's like you're

1003
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:39,799
Speaker 4: spending twenty for seven with someone that is a completely

1004
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 4: different individual. Like and when you get married, people like

1005
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 4: expect us people to be like, oh, we're married, so

1006
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 4: we think the same, we have all the same goals.

1007
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 4: We are one. No, we're not one. We are two

1008
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 4: people that are choosing to live our lives together every day.

1009
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 4: And that's a lot. That's a lot to be with

1010
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:02,320
Speaker 4: somebody that much.

1011
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:07,319
Speaker 3: Oh, and it's it's all about expectations, isn't it. And

1012
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 3: people we just when you're young, or when you when

1013
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 3: you're you got your your honeymoon phase in full swing,

1014
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:16,200
Speaker 3: you just aren't thinking about what's going to happen in

1015
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 3: the years to come.

1016
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:18,600
Speaker 2: So that's cool, all right, She's not going to.

1017
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:21,400
Speaker 4: Be rainbows and unicorns all the time. I know.

1018
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 5: But it's such a good feeling.

1019
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:25,239
Speaker 2: Isn't it. Though I know it's addictive.

1020
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 3: Okay, final question, and this is a cheesy question, but

1021
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 3: we've loved the answers.

1022
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:35,800
Speaker 2: What would you each say.

1023
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 3: Is the secret or the thing your thing why your

1024
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:45,480
Speaker 3: relationship has lasted through the ups and downs, and that

1025
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 3: you two are a successful, happy couple.

1026
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,160
Speaker 2: What is the secret to your success.

1027
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 5: Day by day by day by day. I think the

1028
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 5: I I hate to keep saying commitment, but I think

1029
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:05,760
Speaker 5: we're we're staying committed to each other, and we're staying

1030
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:09,279
Speaker 5: committed to the goals that we have set. We've set

1031
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 5: like a tenuere plan right now and we're kind of

1032
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:17,480
Speaker 5: moving down there. So I'm helping her, she's supporting me.

1033
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 5: We're just the support is kind of and we're very

1034
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:28,320
Speaker 5: excited about just the future, the girls, her business, my business.

1035
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 5: It's just that's why I said content because like I'm

1036
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:36,400
Speaker 5: we're good right now and we're very excited about the future.

1037
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:38,880
Speaker 5: Like I don't know, is something like gonna happen if

1038
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:40,680
Speaker 5: am I waiting for something to happen?

1039
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 4: Like free will? It's human beings. We have free will.

1040
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,839
Speaker 4: So I think I had to learn that the hard way,

1041
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 4: like when he left and realizing, oh, you can leave

1042
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 4: any time you want, Like it's a choice. It's a

1043
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 4: choice to stay together every day, and I think that

1044
00:54:57,560 --> 00:55:01,399
Speaker 4: that is one of the things. And also treat your

1045
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:06,759
Speaker 4: spouse like they're your best friend because they are, like

1046
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,960
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, that's the person that

1047
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:13,920
Speaker 4: gets you. I feel so confident that he understands me

1048
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 4: like nobody else does. And I turned to him for

1049
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:21,360
Speaker 4: advice on how to just like think like a normal person,

1050
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:24,240
Speaker 4: because sometimes I can, you know, go.

1051
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 5: And like, no, that's not what we do here.

1052
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:38,280
Speaker 4: Really keep me grounded, so I forget that that's not normal.

1053
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 3: Well, I love the day by day like you just

1054
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:45,840
Speaker 3: take it one day at a time, and you choose

1055
00:55:45,840 --> 00:55:47,040
Speaker 3: each other and you love each other.

1056
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:47,719
Speaker 1: You know what.

1057
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:51,880
Speaker 3: We learned so much about the two of you, Jenny

1058
00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:53,920
Speaker 3: and Dave, and so has everyone else listening.

1059
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:57,799
Speaker 2: So thank you for being open and being real. It's

1060
00:55:57,840 --> 00:55:58,320
Speaker 2: not easy.

1061
00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:00,959
Speaker 3: It's not easy at all to talk about these things,

1062
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 3: but everybody goes through it, and so I just I

1063
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 3: love how relatable and down to earth and real both

1064
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:07,439
Speaker 3: of you were.

1065
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:09,719
Speaker 2: So thank you well you too as well.

1066
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 5: We always we had a blast when we were in

1067
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:15,799
Speaker 5: San Francisco. You guys are great. It was fun. It

1068
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 5: was too short. I know you guys were tired, but

1069
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:21,439
Speaker 5: we need to make another run. Run one day.

1070
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 1: See now we're going to be annoying next time. We

1071
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 1: see you, because now we have all these relationship questions.

1072
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 1: Ask you, guys.

1073
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 2: Remember that time.

1074
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:31,440
Speaker 3: It's like we've just been along this ride with you

1075
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:33,399
Speaker 3: for all these years, and so now we know all

1076
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:36,360
Speaker 3: your history, we can have really fun, in depth conversation

1077
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:38,399
Speaker 3: next time we see you too, which hopefully will be soon.

1078
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:41,359
Speaker 1: Yes, guys, thank you all so much. We will see

1079
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 1: y'all soon, having us City appreciate it.

1080
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:55,000
Speaker 4: Bye,