Speaker 1: From now on, don't address me as the vibes, address
Speaker 1: me as fonce.
Speaker 2: What and just when I didn't think that anybody in
Speaker 2: this household could trump.
Speaker 3: Me as a beyon.
Speaker 2: As a Beyonce fan, not by the look of things
Speaker 2: these past few days, because you've been bopping and homming
Speaker 2: around this house since you left their baby. Okay, Hey,
Speaker 2: I'm Kadeen.
Speaker 3: And and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 4: You may know us from posting funny videos with.
Speaker 2: Our boys and reading each other publicly.
Speaker 3: As a form of therapy.
Speaker 4: Wait, I make you need the most days? Wow?
Speaker 3: Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 4: Yes, sir, we are.
Speaker 1: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Speaker 1: my's most taboo topics.
Speaker 3: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred,
Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 1: Were about to take pilotof to our whole new level.
Speaker 2: Dead ass starts right now.
Speaker 1: So, as you guys know, Kadeena and I went on
Speaker 1: the Sherry Shepperd Show too, from our New York Times
Speaker 1: best selling book, We over Meet the Encounter, intuitive approach
Speaker 1: to getting everything you want out of your relationship.
Speaker 3: You guys remember that, right, and did you get your copy?
Speaker 4: Shameless pluck shameless us didn't get your copies?
Speaker 1: Still, But on that episode, I told the story about
Speaker 1: me not being able to take Kadeen to go see
Speaker 1: Beyonce back in twenty twelve because we had just got married.
Speaker 1: She was supposed to pay off some bills she didn't,
Speaker 1: so I didn't have the money to take her, and
Speaker 1: it became a big argument. Right fast forward to this year,
Speaker 1: one of our close friends, Tyler Perry, asked Kadeen if
Speaker 1: she wanted to go see Opening Night in Sweden.
Speaker 4: So they all went to go see Beyonce. Was a
Speaker 4: great thing.
Speaker 1: I thought Kadeen would be excited about that, right. I
Speaker 1: went and saw Beyonce twice the first two.
Speaker 4: Opening shows in Sweden. They all went you know what
Speaker 4: I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I was excited about that. She got to see
Speaker 1: her dream performer and a great experience. Then I come
Speaker 1: to find out Beyonce is coming to Atlanta, right since
Speaker 1: she had already went to Sweden. I was like, yo,
Speaker 1: it's over, like she went to see her twice? Like
Speaker 1: nothing better you can do than that? Right, So then
Speaker 1: I get a text from Tyler. He goes, and this
Speaker 1: is how the text sounded. Are you taking your wife
Speaker 1: to go see Beyonce?
Speaker 4: Said?
Speaker 1: She already seen Beyonce twice opening night, like like why
Speaker 1: did she have.
Speaker 4: To go see her again?
Speaker 1: He then calls me, right because the text wasn't nothing,
Speaker 1: and he goes, take your wife to go see Beyonce?
Speaker 1: I said, yo, tea, he said, trust me to take
Speaker 1: your wife? Goes, do yourself a favor.
Speaker 4: And take your wife to go see me. Honestly, I said,
Speaker 4: damn fine, fine.
Speaker 1: Fine, I was, I ain't gonna lie like yo, yo,
Speaker 1: how come he don't never like call k and be
Speaker 1: like trust up like Beyonce?
Speaker 4: Like why you don't get those phone calls?
Speaker 2: I was about to say, you don't even know what
Speaker 2: side chatter we had, so don't even worry about it.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I was a little bit kind
Speaker 1: of pissed off, right, So I was like, you know what, fine?
Speaker 4: Fine?
Speaker 1: I was like, babe, do you want to go see
Speaker 1: She's like, got tickets Saturday, I'm going. I said, fine, Kadeen,
Speaker 1: go do what you gotta do. So Tyler's on the phone,
Speaker 1: he's laughing, He's like, trust me, you'll thank me later.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: That was on Tuesday. Like Tuesday, Kadeen went and got
Speaker 1: these tickets. We had sex Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
Speaker 1: leading them to the show, all because she was so
Speaker 1: excited to go see not.
Speaker 4: Even talking up do with it come out.
Speaker 1: Kadeen and I haven't had sex five days in a
Speaker 1: row since our first trip to Virginia Beach, an.
Speaker 2: Empty house with nobody any here but any of our parents.
Speaker 4: In life, I agree, I'm not listen. I agree things
Speaker 4: have not things have not lined up.
Speaker 1: But I remember two thousand and three, that vacation that
Speaker 1: was That was when we first thought we was grown.
Speaker 1: Because two thousand and two I was a freshman, I
Speaker 1: had a roommate. Two thousand and three, Kadeen moved into Hotsture,
Speaker 1: she had a roommate. So we still couldn't get it
Speaker 1: popping in when we wanted to. When we took that
Speaker 1: spring break trip to Virginia Beach, that was the first
Speaker 1: time we had had a space to ourselves for a
Speaker 1: whole week. We had sex every single day. That's what
Speaker 1: it felt like this past week.
Speaker 3: It sure did.
Speaker 2: There were so many things that was like the perfect.
Speaker 4: Alignment of the joy.
Speaker 1: The joy and going to see Beyonce from my wife
Speaker 1: just made her so excited.
Speaker 4: She was just excited.
Speaker 1: So first of all, shout out to Tyler for making
Speaker 1: it happen, because not only did we get the tickets,
Speaker 1: we went CA. You know, she got some now, so
Speaker 1: she's officially a member of the Beehive and she's met
Speaker 1: some of beyonest people. She got people she can call
Speaker 1: and she wants to get tickets. So she called and
Speaker 1: gets the tickets. And then the night of the night
Speaker 1: of the show, Tyler's assistant call and says, hey, do
Speaker 1: I want to walk in with us? Kate was just like,
Speaker 1: hell yeah, because then we get a chance to beat
Speaker 1: the crowd. Let me tell you, first of all, let's
Speaker 1: take a break. Let me just I'm gonna ending that
Speaker 1: I'm going to explain to y'all the whole experience from
Speaker 1: my perspective, because I am the boyfriend's slash husband that
Speaker 1: did not understand the hype. I will be honest, I
Speaker 1: didn't understand the hype and left there with a completely
Speaker 1: different mindset.
Speaker 3: Do you have a favorite song that you'd like to
Speaker 3: a favorite song is?
Speaker 1: It's very simple, right, I'm comfortable in my skin, cozy
Speaker 1: with who I am.
Speaker 4: I love myself.
Speaker 1: God damn God damn cozy. It should cost the billion
Speaker 1: to look.
Speaker 2: This and oh no, not you remixing, putting songs together,
Speaker 2: move out the way I'm with my girl, and that
Speaker 2: we don't need space.
Speaker 3: Queen come through part like that.
Speaker 1: Here's another thing though, right, because the Renaissance album was
Speaker 1: not my favorite Beyonce album.
Speaker 4: I love R and B.
Speaker 1: So when I first heard the album, I was like, yo,
Speaker 1: it kind of reminds me of house music, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And we grew up on house music
Speaker 1: all that. Yeah, it reminded me of like the nineties,
Speaker 1: you know, but it was cool. But where we're at now,
Speaker 1: like drill music from Brooklyn nineties, R and B nineties
Speaker 1: hip ho that's.
Speaker 3: Jay right in this music? Yes, is more our speed.
Speaker 2: I admit too. I'll admit to when Renaissance first came out,
Speaker 2: it took a while for me to kind of like
Speaker 2: get into it. But it's a different experience once you're
Speaker 2: there in concert and she's performing and you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 1: That's what. But we gotta take another break before we come.
Speaker 1: Let's take a break so I can break this down
Speaker 1: how it happened.
Speaker 2: Right, Let's go pay these bills beyond racking up a
Speaker 2: couple a couple dollars on this tour. So let's get
Speaker 2: out a little coins and we're gonna come back and
Speaker 2: talk more.
Speaker 1: All right, so we're back. First of all, let me
Speaker 1: explain to y'all. When it was time to go to
Speaker 1: the concert, Kadeen said, Okay, the concert starts at eight,
Speaker 1: We're gonna leave the house at like four.
Speaker 3: I'm like what I actually said about three.
Speaker 2: I was like, well, we can do two and do
Speaker 2: a really early dinner and then get down there and
Speaker 2: be in a space.
Speaker 3: We could even get a hotel like a couple.
Speaker 1: We got a hotel in the same city as we live,
Speaker 1: because Kadeen wanted to be down in the midst and
Speaker 1: feel the energy before the show.
Speaker 2: Right, and also beat the traffic, because what you're gonna
Speaker 2: do is bitch and moan about traffic.
Speaker 4: I was gonna bitch and moan about you.
Speaker 2: And you were gonna bitch and moan about being hungry. Yes,
Speaker 2: I want so I wanted to make sure you see
Speaker 2: I had you covered.
Speaker 1: I will say this you you curated a great experience.
Speaker 1: And I want to say this to the young ladies
Speaker 1: who are deciding to take their men to go see Beyonce. Right,
Speaker 1: we do understand that it's all about you and Beyonce.
Speaker 1: We understand that, but we have to go. Right, you
Speaker 1: want us to go with you to share in the experience. Right,
Speaker 1: it felt good that you curated, curated an experience that
Speaker 1: included me. You made sure that I ate. You made
Speaker 1: sure that I had enough nourishments and water. You made
Speaker 1: sure we got down there and had a place to
Speaker 1: stay so that I would have to fight traffic to
Speaker 1: get there.
Speaker 4: You you were on top of it.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you, before Tyler even asked me if
Speaker 2: I was going on Saturday, I wanted to go this weekend. Okay,
Speaker 2: but I also knew that Jackson had football practice.
Speaker 3: He had a football game on Jemberee.
Speaker 4: Now that he had a jam jimberee had to play
Speaker 4: two differents.
Speaker 2: Right, and the heat index when I looked at the
Speaker 2: weather for the week on Monday was like astronomical. So
Speaker 2: I'm like, there's no way that I was gonna want
Speaker 2: to go coach a game, sit out there for two
Speaker 2: games back to back, yelling and screaming and coaching and sweating,
Speaker 2: to then go home to then have to turn around
Speaker 2: to go to a concert.
Speaker 3: So I had you in mine early.
Speaker 4: I know, that's why I started early, and.
Speaker 3: That's with somebody else.
Speaker 4: But no, no.
Speaker 1: No, no, that's why I got booties every day since Tuesday.
Speaker 1: I was light on my feet.
Speaker 4: By the top Saturday.
Speaker 3: Let me tell you so, I.
Speaker 4: Was a little punch drunk. So she was just like
Speaker 4: we were going to see Beyonce.
Speaker 2: Old empty sack. That's what was this, full belly empty sack.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how you get me to say yes, full
Speaker 4: belly empty sack.
Speaker 3: That's the spirit.
Speaker 4: This is what was impressive.
Speaker 1: Kadeen woke up early on Saturday, drove all the way
Speaker 1: to Janelle's house to get her wig installed, and then
Speaker 1: sat in that wig for two hours bruh at the
Speaker 1: jam Beree. There was no trees, no shade, there were
Speaker 1: no seats because it was at the practice facility at
Speaker 1: some of one of these big high schools here in Atlanta,
Speaker 1: and we went from game to game and she was
Speaker 1: out there bruh, and she had on this blonde wig
Speaker 1: and I ain't gonna I ain't gonna lie you. I
Speaker 1: was coaching and I looked up and I was like, dang,
Speaker 1: blondie got fatty. Turns out it was Coadeen. I forgot
Speaker 1: she was going to get this blonde hair put in,
Speaker 1: and I was like, god, da, let me stack.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you how much how much I was
Speaker 2: concerned about you and wanting you to have a good
Speaker 2: experience with me. So, in addition to booking the hotel room,
Speaker 2: which was totally for you, because I'm like, listen, after
Speaker 2: the concert, we can go there and have a good time,
Speaker 2: Papa School was holding down the fort with the boys,
Speaker 2: so we would have a good night together. We could
Speaker 2: sleep in the next day, go for brunch. It'll be
Speaker 2: a thing, right.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was so tired.
Speaker 2: When I woke up Saturday morning, I was two seconds
Speaker 2: away from canceling Janelle and be like, forget it.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna throw my hair in a bun and keep
Speaker 3: it pushing.
Speaker 4: No. No, I was like, we need this.
Speaker 3: I was like nah, I was like, was going with
Speaker 3: me to c B.
Speaker 2: I gotta do this for him because at least this
Speaker 2: way I told her, girl, I said, whatever that got
Speaker 2: to be glue or whatever the hell that is. I said,
Speaker 2: make sure that got to be got to be intact
Speaker 2: for the good night.
Speaker 4: And it was because you know I'd be snatching.
Speaker 5: Did indeed, I'd be snatching, But nah, I feel like
Speaker 5: the way you had everything set up, it was just
Speaker 5: indicative of how we take care of each other.
Speaker 1: I did this because I knew you wanted to go
Speaker 1: see Beyonce, and you made sure everything around it was
Speaker 1: good that I was taking care of.
Speaker 4: Right, So just leading up to that, it was a
Speaker 4: good feeling.
Speaker 1: Going to the show, I was excited, but I was
Speaker 1: also excited because I got to watch you dress up.
Speaker 1: I was telling Josh that, you know how in the
Speaker 1: nineties when the Teenage Ninja Turtles came out and Vanilla
Speaker 1: Ice was you know, Ice Ice Baby.
Speaker 4: Because the first one came out, no one knew what
Speaker 4: to expect. The second one, they knew what to expect.
Speaker 1: When we went to the movie theaters, all the kids
Speaker 1: was dressed up like Ninja Turtles.
Speaker 4: When we got to the show, all the kids was
Speaker 4: dressed up like beyond it. Pretty much all the women
Speaker 4: was dressed up.
Speaker 1: Like beyond that, and it was it was like droves
Speaker 1: of people. Right, So shout out once again to Tyler
Speaker 1: because me and Kate bought ticket.
Speaker 4: Here's another thing k did.
Speaker 1: K said, Kay, Ivo, I know you don't want to
Speaker 1: stand up the whole three hours.
Speaker 4: You went and.
Speaker 1: Got us seats right by the beehive where where you
Speaker 1: can sit down, floor seats where you can sit. And
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm gonna get the floor seas so you
Speaker 1: can sit because I know, you know, you may not
Speaker 1: want to dance the whole time.
Speaker 4: You'll probably sit sometimes, but I'm gonna be up.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, dang, she's really thinking about the things
Speaker 1: that I may need while I'm there so she can
Speaker 1: enjoy herself.
Speaker 4: So I was excited to go, so you have a
Speaker 4: good time.
Speaker 1: Kadeen gets dressed at the hotel before we get up there, right,
Speaker 1: and she got on this Jeane romper and it was
Speaker 1: an old to what was the video where she had
Speaker 1: on the white tank top with the jeans shorts and
Speaker 1: crazy in Love and that was our song in college,
Speaker 1: crazy and Love. So when people look at the outfit
Speaker 1: or they look at Kadeen, it's like it wasn't old
Speaker 1: to where we were at that time when we started
Speaker 1: to fall in Love to on thousand and two, Crazy
Speaker 1: and Love was out and her and jay Z had
Speaker 1: that song together, so she had on the outfit with
Speaker 1: the long blonde weave, and it was just so thoughtful
Speaker 1: of everything that she was doing to curate the experience
Speaker 1: for me but also for herself. And then Tyler was like, hey,
Speaker 1: he was going to go to the the concert. He
Speaker 1: was going to get tickets. At the rise of the
Speaker 1: ass Space Rider, he was like, yof, y'all want to
Speaker 1: walk in with me? Meet us here and YU can
Speaker 1: walk in with us. So we get a chance to
Speaker 1: walk in with Tyler, and it was just the dopest
Speaker 1: experience walking, Like when we pulled up in the car
Speaker 1: and it was me you Crystal Tina. We pull up
Speaker 1: in the car and we're watching thousands of people walk
Speaker 1: towards the stadium.
Speaker 4: And cars could not move.
Speaker 1: There were blocks of cars that couldn't move because people
Speaker 1: were walking in.
Speaker 2: Walking, they were singing at the stadium, they were performing
Speaker 2: her song.
Speaker 3: It was just a whole vibe.
Speaker 1: And this was a seven fifteen, Yeah, seven twenty people
Speaker 1: were all performing and walking. Mind you, it is over
Speaker 1: one hundred degrees heat index out there. Yeah, so we
Speaker 1: jump out the car and we walk to the stadium right,
Speaker 1: and we get to the stadium, we get to where
Speaker 1: our entrance is and we walk through the back and
Speaker 1: we actually walk in the entrance where all the performers
Speaker 1: are walking in, and we get to walk through the
Speaker 1: stadium and we're watching all of these people dressed like
Speaker 1: different versions of Beyonce.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: And if you think about it, that's over twenty years
Speaker 1: of celebrating It's twenty five years of celebrating a woman's accomplishments.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was eye opening to me.
Speaker 2: I think it was almost like a big family reunion,
Speaker 2: right like Atlanta. I feel like we saw so many
Speaker 2: people who we hadn't seen in a long time.
Speaker 3: Two of my friends from college were there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you know, my makeup.
Speaker 2: My makeup ARTI Sean was there. She saw us from
Speaker 2: a distance and text me like, I'm here too, our
Speaker 2: realtor Aria, Yes, I was dressed too. Everybody. Janelle ended
Speaker 2: up being able to come with a friend. It was
Speaker 2: like we saw Jazzy and Cam a ton of people
Speaker 2: there and it was like, yes, huge, huge family reunions
Speaker 2: and I think that's the best part about it, right,
Speaker 2: other than the reason why we're there Beyonce the music
Speaker 2: and all that, it's almost like a camaraderie that people
Speaker 2: have formed with this love for her music and her
Speaker 2: performances of camaraderies.
Speaker 1: There was also a camaraderie of boyfriend slash husbands slash
Speaker 1: fiance's who didn't understand.
Speaker 4: Why they were there, and they were all had the
Speaker 4: same dress.
Speaker 2: They all have like a silent like look at each
Speaker 2: other kind of nod or were you're having conversations without
Speaker 2: these guys.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie to you.
Speaker 1: We ended up at the Ace of Space lounge, right,
Speaker 1: and there's dudes there, some of them know jay Z.
Speaker 1: Some of them are from Brooklyn because that's their whole environment.
Speaker 1: So they're like, old, what's up?
Speaker 4: You know? It was good, So I'm like, why you
Speaker 4: here on? My girl? Head? My girl? Oh yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So with the girl, they all got on like white
Speaker 1: teas or black T shirt jeans, like it's just jeans
Speaker 1: T shirt.
Speaker 4: Like they're not getting dressed up because this is not
Speaker 4: what we do.
Speaker 1: So we're all sitting there standing there with the straight
Speaker 1: Brooklyn grill face like these people are crazy.
Speaker 4: These people look crazy.
Speaker 1: And you get a chance to look around three sixty
Speaker 1: V when you're in the Asus space line, you can
Speaker 1: see everything.
Speaker 4: People are already screaming.
Speaker 3: And beonce hasn't even sit here.
Speaker 1: Then it's still light. The lights are still the lights
Speaker 1: time come down.
Speaker 2: It's like you're still on and everybody is just like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, hey, well you know what's your favorite song?
Speaker 3: You're about to turn when this happens.
Speaker 2: Chloe and Holly Bailey came on to the riser and
Speaker 2: she came over to me and she was just like,
Speaker 2: oh my.
Speaker 3: God, I love you and your sons and your husband,
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't even know Chloe, right, you know,
Speaker 2: but it was just cool to see so many people
Speaker 2: of the year just to have a good time. No refrash,
Speaker 2: no violence, No, it was a good time.
Speaker 1: It just felt like, like you said, like a family
Speaker 1: reunion when you don't got no beef.
Speaker 4: In your fan.
Speaker 2: So what was the turning point for you? I guess
Speaker 2: in the concert where you felt like, wow, I get why.
Speaker 4: The funny thing is it happened? It was there were
Speaker 4: two moments in particular.
Speaker 1: The first moment was when the lights went down, and
Speaker 1: they were like ladies and gentlemen, and I heard like
Speaker 1: and then you couldn't hear anybody right in front of
Speaker 1: you because the crowd was so loud, and.
Speaker 4: We're watching the stage. Everything start.
Speaker 1: The lights happened, and I'm watching you, and I put
Speaker 1: my phone out to get your reaction and stuff. And
Speaker 1: then the person says Beyonce and she steps out. She
Speaker 1: had on this red dress and they started playing the
Speaker 1: piano solo for Dangerously Dangerously in Love. Now here's a
Speaker 1: story about dangerously in love?
Speaker 3: Oh, is it gonna be the story?
Speaker 4: We I was a sophomore in college. Then it was
Speaker 4: a junior. She was an R rate. It's the first
Speaker 4: time we got our single, so.
Speaker 3: He said, we got our single.
Speaker 4: Yes, first time I got a single. Guy like, I said,
Speaker 4: I said what I said. I said what I said.
Speaker 4: We got our single for the first time.
Speaker 2: My first semester, I had a roommate and I told
Speaker 2: myself that I would never go another semester with a roommate.
Speaker 2: So we lived in a suite with the ra of
Speaker 2: that floor. And I said to her, Sis, she was
Speaker 2: actually black girls. I was like, Sis, I'm gonna need
Speaker 2: to be where you're at. How do I get this single?
Speaker 2: And she walked me through the entire process, told me
Speaker 2: when they were having ra interviews and so said, So
Speaker 2: then I got my first single and loved every bit
Speaker 2: of that eight by eight room.
Speaker 1: It was it nine thirteen estbrowelve twelve, nine to twelve,
Speaker 1: went by.
Speaker 4: Eight, went by eight feet.
Speaker 1: The room was so small that Kadeena and I had
Speaker 1: an air mattress that we blew up in the middle
Speaker 1: of the room and there was no space, but like
Speaker 1: a full.
Speaker 2: Size air size air match because my twin bed was
Speaker 2: up against the window. Then we had like my desk
Speaker 2: and then my closet and that was it.
Speaker 4: It was that.
Speaker 1: And so we're in this room one day listening to
Speaker 1: R and B music like we typically did. Kadeen was studying,
Speaker 1: I was playing Knee for Speed and Dangerously and Loves
Speaker 1: Come On and I'm looking at she looking at me,
Speaker 1: and we just knew in that moment, like a it's tuning,
Speaker 1: you know, take a little break, take a little break
Speaker 1: from studying and playing Need for Speed. So it was
Speaker 1: one of those moments where early on in our relationship,
Speaker 1: this wasn't a bam bam love making section. We were
Speaker 1: actually making love, you know, like thing was on back,
Speaker 1: I was on top of her. It was a slow,
Speaker 1: sexy groove because dangerously and love was on. And I
Speaker 1: remember kissing Kadeen and we were in the moment and
Speaker 1: her eyes just started to water and tears dropped down
Speaker 1: her face.
Speaker 4: And I was just like, yo, like what's the matter.
Speaker 1: And she was just like, I just love you so much,
Speaker 1: and I was like I love you too, And we
Speaker 1: just kissed and we made love, and then we laid
Speaker 1: there the music played and we fell asleep.
Speaker 3: Mm hm.
Speaker 1: And those are one of the first few moments other
Speaker 1: than beauty that I remember, Like, then we made love.
Speaker 4: We didn't have.
Speaker 1: Like a bam bam session in Kyle, you know how
Speaker 1: you all when you nineteen, you just trying to ram
Speaker 1: through something.
Speaker 4: No, we actually made love.
Speaker 2: Feeling like a softy y'all know, a thug and you
Speaker 2: got me out here sounding all sot.
Speaker 1: You can't be a thug with that wig on. You
Speaker 1: could take it off. You could take it off.
Speaker 3: And no, y'all don't want to see what that looks like.
Speaker 4: You look a your corns look all right?
Speaker 3: Anyway back to you look like you.
Speaker 1: Look like a little hot stud you do you know?
Speaker 1: You come on, y'all, y'all know some of the stuffs
Speaker 1: be out here looking good. Because then I walked in
Speaker 1: the I walked into I walked in the kitchen on
Speaker 1: a sports bra some baggy sweat fans and the braids
Speaker 1: she had fitted hat, and.
Speaker 4: I was like, who the fuck is in my kitchen
Speaker 4: right now?
Speaker 3: Like it was snap back that I kind of had
Speaker 3: cocked up.
Speaker 2: Because I want to take it off fever and you
Speaker 2: can kind of see the brains poking through the side,
Speaker 2: and I was like, what are you?
Speaker 4: What are you doing?
Speaker 3: Are you coming from?
Speaker 1: Look kind of good though, kind of caught me off guard.
Speaker 1: I was like, I ain't know I was into this.
Speaker 4: You look all right, come in.
Speaker 3: You're a mess.
Speaker 4: I'm a mess. I'm a mess. On you look good
Speaker 4: though in the braids.
Speaker 3: So it was that dangerously in love moment.
Speaker 4: It was that dangerously in love moment where I think
Speaker 4: that's what it brought me, the nostalgia. It brought me back.
Speaker 4: It brought me back, and I was like the beginning.
Speaker 1: Of her career where she started to you know, accentuate
Speaker 1: herself as the solo artists of that time, like it
Speaker 1: was Dangerously in Love, it was what was the other
Speaker 1: song just.
Speaker 4: On the run?
Speaker 2: Well yeah, well those came after, but on that particular
Speaker 2: album there was like signs Speechless, like there were a
Speaker 2: bunch of really Beasless.
Speaker 4: Is another song too that.
Speaker 1: Ye speech we have another song, but there was a
Speaker 1: song that R and B that R and B style
Speaker 1: of the answer was what I grew to love.
Speaker 2: I think that was good for her to do and
Speaker 2: smart with her performance when you think about like how
Speaker 2: you roll out a show, right, so you're real people
Speaker 2: back in with like the classics.
Speaker 3: You know, and then you go into the more current albums.
Speaker 4: But do you.
Speaker 1: Remember really well it started Dangerously in Love and I'm
Speaker 1: hugging Kadeen and she just put her head back and
Speaker 1: rested her head back on my chest. Uh and like
Speaker 1: like she felt safe, like she finished.
Speaker 4: That just got me in Like.
Speaker 2: It's crazy that you felt that, because I that's exactly
Speaker 2: that's what you felt. Well I'm not surprised because we
Speaker 2: be all you know, Unison in the line, but no,
Speaker 2: that's exactly how I felt. I was like, wow, this
Speaker 2: was a moment and that for nothing. When I was
Speaker 2: in Sweden, those two days and even a concert I
Speaker 2: had gone to with one of my girlfriends, Tiffany years ago,
Speaker 2: that you weren't at you kind of at a concert.
Speaker 2: I want to have moments where you kind of love
Speaker 2: on your man and hug up. If you hear a
Speaker 2: song that either reminds you of him or reminds you
Speaker 2: of a moment, or is like one of your favorite
Speaker 2: love songs, it's like, Damn, I wish my man was here.
Speaker 2: Like it's like going to a wedding without your spouse
Speaker 2: or without you your person. It's like, Damn, everybody around
Speaker 2: here in love and my man ain't here, you know.
Speaker 2: So that was a moment for me that I was like, Wow,
Speaker 2: we can really enjoy this together because it's familiar to
Speaker 2: you and it's familiar to me.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I will say this too to all you single gentlemen
Speaker 1: who are looking for a woman. The place to be
Speaker 1: in your area if you are looking for some women next.
Speaker 2: To a dead ass podcast live, Yes, next to that
Speaker 2: as podcast live show, which is coming next year, buy
Speaker 2: tickets to a Beyonce concert.
Speaker 1: Because if I was single, I would have been up
Speaker 1: in there. I would have stood up right in the middle,
Speaker 1: right in the middle, like they took the inter mission.
Speaker 1: I'd have stood up and been like, Hey, my name
Speaker 1: is Daval, I'm in Ares.
Speaker 4: I like to take walks on.
Speaker 2: The park, favorite colors, red YO credit score eight hundred.
Speaker 1: I'm here if you need me, I would I'd say
Speaker 1: I'm straight, just to let y'all know, because you have
Speaker 1: to let people know. The women are looking for men,
Speaker 1: but the men that they see there, they don't expect
Speaker 1: them to be single straight men, you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: this is such a diverse crowd that you expect to
Speaker 1: see other people who are Beyonce fans. You don't expect
Speaker 1: to hear, hear or see a group of straight men
Speaker 1: at a Beyonce concert. But if they go, they will
Speaker 1: find a queen.
Speaker 2: Yo.
Speaker 1: There was so many women. I have never seen that
Speaker 1: many women in one spot.
Speaker 2: It was like it was like a beautiful display of
Speaker 2: blackness because there were so many black people there. Like
Speaker 2: it's Atlanta, so what else are you gonna expect? It
Speaker 2: was a mixed crowd. Yes, but I'm let me tell you,
Speaker 2: black women, we were taught tier. They came out and
Speaker 2: showed out the big time.
Speaker 4: It was a lot. It was a lot of women.
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 1: There was a lot of kids in there too. I
Speaker 1: could say kids, right, trouble the kids, I can say
Speaker 1: the kids right.
Speaker 3: The kids was outside.
Speaker 4: They was dressed up too, dressed up. But that's but
Speaker 4: that's also the difference.
Speaker 1: Most of the men you saw who were part of
Speaker 1: the behive were dressed up, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: So you knew, like, oh that he's art to be high.
Speaker 1: So for the straight men who were there with their girls,
Speaker 1: they typically were dressed like I was dressed T shirt, yes, sneakers, you.
Speaker 4: Know what I'm saying. So it was just a great space.
Speaker 4: I'm telling you.
Speaker 1: If there were men who were looking for women, bro,
Speaker 1: that's the place to do.
Speaker 4: Was so women.
Speaker 1: Bro.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, it was so much.
Speaker 2: She's still on tour. I'm trying to figure out what's
Speaker 2: the next city I'm going to?
Speaker 4: What m Are you serious?
Speaker 3: You see? I just threw that in there.
Speaker 2: She's touring until the end of September early October.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 1: I will say this though, after after the end of
Speaker 1: the concert the next day Monday, I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: I would I would go again.
Speaker 4: I will go again because that.
Speaker 3: Went last night.
Speaker 4: That's the lie.
Speaker 3: I literally almost went last night.
Speaker 4: God, you see what you see what.
Speaker 3: I had to say? It was? You know, I didn't
Speaker 3: been like babe, I already got the tickets, all right.
Speaker 4: So let's be honest.
Speaker 1: Why I didn't say let's go is because I thought
Speaker 1: Jackson had football practice.
Speaker 3: Really, yes, I.
Speaker 4: Thought he had football practice.
Speaker 1: If I don't look at the schedule, I would have
Speaker 1: just been like, yo, let's go. But I thought Jackson
Speaker 1: at football practice. And I wasn't going to miss his
Speaker 1: football practice to go to the second Beyonce concert in
Speaker 1: two days.
Speaker 3: So why not?
Speaker 2: Because you would have been going to practice anyway on
Speaker 2: Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday too.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, he's our son, and I would think
Speaker 1: that our son is more important than Beyonce.
Speaker 4: I mean what you mean, why not?
Speaker 3: That's what they got a whole team of coaches for.
Speaker 4: You see what he'd have been. This is how people
Speaker 4: think Beyonce fans go crazy.
Speaker 3: But I'm just being serious listening.
Speaker 4: That's crazy, it's wild.
Speaker 2: It's by and I own it, like, I'm not going
Speaker 2: to sit here and you could have went.
Speaker 4: You could have went. I was not missing Jacksons football.
Speaker 2: But you know what it was to also to I know,
Speaker 2: like it's school day, school week rather you know, school day,
Speaker 2: and I just wanted to be home and the podcast
Speaker 2: crew was coming into town. We had to work early
Speaker 2: this morning. Where I thought I was, I wasn't sure
Speaker 2: what time we're gonna get started, so I was trying
Speaker 2: to be responsible. But that just only means that we
Speaker 2: can just fly to another city and see her.
Speaker 4: I knew what it was coming. I knew it was coming.
Speaker 2: Look, I a weekend, baby, like you really thoroughly enjoyed
Speaker 2: enough to make it a week.
Speaker 4: Because the week leading up to that that day was
Speaker 4: great for me. So we can do that. You know
Speaker 4: what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: We can totally do that. I am down for that.
Speaker 4: You can do that.
Speaker 2: Let me see look look, look googles.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you another part of her set that was
Speaker 1: impressive to me that had me super excited.
Speaker 3: While I searched for the next city.
Speaker 4: I want, what's the song when they keep going Love
Speaker 4: on Top?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, she dropped the mic and the whole stadium was
Speaker 1: singing Love on Top on the same key. That's the
Speaker 1: video I made.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And they kept going.
Speaker 4: They kept going, and they just kept going higher and all.
Speaker 1: These people are now singers. Beyonce have made them feel.
Speaker 2: Even if you couldn't sing like me, I am going
Speaker 2: to belt at the top of my lungs and not
Speaker 2: get that. I'm sure you did. And there's no shame
Speaker 2: in my game. You got that. That's a fact.
Speaker 1: Yo, guys, she's legit. Looking up another time to go
Speaker 1: see Beyonce. Guys, I am shents.
Speaker 2: I'm looking at the calendar. You know why too, because
Speaker 2: every show is not the same. Show one in Sweden
Speaker 2: versus show two in Sweden were two completely different shows.
Speaker 2: And then the only thing I had to compare it
Speaker 2: to now is Atlanta, which was top tier for me.
Speaker 2: I beat Sweden out the park, and it could be
Speaker 2: too because it was the first that's that's a fact
Speaker 2: that it's Atlanta. But I think Sweden was more reserved.
Speaker 3: The audience in general, they's little bit more reserved. They
Speaker 3: actually sat in their seats for the show.
Speaker 2: I was like, I just knew when I got the
Speaker 2: two floor seat tickets for Deval, because I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: he may want to sit at some point. I already knew,
Speaker 2: like everybody's standing around you, bro was not going to
Speaker 2: be sitting, so you, you wouldn't have seen anything because
Speaker 2: you didn't have people standing all around you. But the
Speaker 2: energy was so different in Sweden versus versus Atlanta. And
Speaker 2: then what I'm hearing from people who went to multiple
Speaker 2: shows in Atlanta, even show one, two, and three in
Speaker 2: Atlanta were all three different energies.
Speaker 1: I can imagine because we do live shows, so yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, the crowd if we make a show, depending
Speaker 1: on what.
Speaker 4: The energy is.
Speaker 2: Absolutely I'm curious to know from her standpoint, which, if.
Speaker 1: I had to be honest, I would say our show
Speaker 1: Saturday would have to be one of the best because
Speaker 1: just listen to me. If you went Friday right Friday,
Speaker 1: you had to go to work all day, you came
Speaker 1: home from work, you're a little bit tired. Saturday you
Speaker 1: got a chance to do like me and Kadeen did.
Speaker 1: You made a whole day about it. You started drinking
Speaker 1: a little bit early, so you get to the show
Speaker 1: already lit, and then you don't have to go to
Speaker 1: work on Sunday, whereas Monday you had to go to work,
Speaker 1: and then you had to go to work on Tuesday.
Speaker 1: So I expect them to be as lit as it
Speaker 1: was on Saturday. You know, Saturday was just an open
Speaker 1: time where you can focus on only the show as possible.
Speaker 1: But and this is gonna be the last thing I
Speaker 1: say before we get to listen letters. I know listening
Speaker 1: letters is also an important part of the show, of course,
Speaker 1: but that experience with your girl right when you're there
Speaker 1: and drunken love comes on and your girl can actually
Speaker 1: be on you in that moment when the.
Speaker 4: Music starts and it's everybody around.
Speaker 1: It's like bro's watching your girl be excited about something
Speaker 1: and you just being there in support of her just
Speaker 1: opens her up in a different way. And watching you
Speaker 1: go through that and enjoy it, but then turn around
Speaker 1: and hug on me and jump on me and dance
Speaker 1: on me. It was fun for me, like I had
Speaker 1: a good time and I stay, I make jokes and say,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm part of the behiv now, because I
Speaker 1: really did not understand, like twenty five years of hits
Speaker 1: and being one of the top performers, if not the
Speaker 1: top performer at that time every time is like an
Speaker 1: astonishing feat. So to celebrate with someone go through all
Speaker 1: of that music was amazing. I was like, dang, she
Speaker 1: got mad hits. But also to celebrate that with your girl.
Speaker 1: Was it was dope, like it was just it was fun.
Speaker 1: I had a good time. After the concert, we went
Speaker 1: back to the hotel. We were trying to find something
Speaker 1: to eat. Couldn't find nothing to eat. So me and
Speaker 1: Kate dial with me and Kate gonna do we Uber
Speaker 1: eat some Big Max.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. But we don't even eat McDonald's.
Speaker 4: We don't, but we eat big masks. You know what
Speaker 4: I'm saying.
Speaker 3: And I'm not even gonna lie, like what's open. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we're gonna get a big Mac.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 4: We we uber eat some Big Max.
Speaker 1: We sat there, got it in before the Big Max
Speaker 1: came hat the big Mass, went to sleep, woke up
Speaker 1: the next morning, Kate put on a leotard.
Speaker 4: Again, got it in again.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is the type of energy that you know.
Speaker 1: Then we went to brunch, like like, let's be honest
Speaker 1: as a as a guy, right, you have to enjoy that,
Speaker 1: like you did something to make your girl feel special.
Speaker 1: She had a great time. She enjoyed herself with the
Speaker 1: energy that was there. Made her make you want to
Speaker 1: feel special, right, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: And reciprocity.
Speaker 4: It was good.
Speaker 2: I knew going into it, like you've said that you
Speaker 2: wanted me to be more intentional about our date nights
Speaker 2: right days moving forward, because I make it very intentional
Speaker 2: that like when I set up things with the boys
Speaker 2: and I take them on the individual solo dates. You know,
Speaker 2: Devo's like, damn, you really be going all out for
Speaker 2: these boys. He's like, I want that same kind of energy.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, yeah, but fine, And knowing going into
Speaker 2: it that that wasn't necessarily something you wanted to do.
Speaker 2: I was just really trying to be deliberate about how
Speaker 2: I could make it enjoyable for you as well.
Speaker 4: So well, shout out to you, yo, babe. You know
Speaker 4: I'm saying shout.
Speaker 2: Out to her performing in LA. So we're going to
Speaker 2: be at a way whoa Labor Day weekend. We're going
Speaker 2: to be a wedding and she's actually performing in California
Speaker 2: Labor Day weekend.
Speaker 1: When does Jackson have a football games?
Speaker 4: Are you sure?
Speaker 3: Well? He has a football game on that Saturday, But.
Speaker 4: We're gonna fly Saturday night.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wedding Sunday, and the show is on Monday. We
Speaker 3: fly home Tuesday. It's giving meant to be. I didn't
Speaker 3: know about that.
Speaker 4: We fly home Tuesday. Yes, Jackson got practiced that week though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we come home Tuesday.
Speaker 1: I just listen, guys, I'm trying to be a parent.
Speaker 1: You see, it's apparent that she don't care about being
Speaker 1: a parent.
Speaker 2: That's a lie because I booked our ticket after his
Speaker 2: game on that Saturday. So don't try to throw me
Speaker 2: under nobody bus.
Speaker 4: We'll look.
Speaker 3: Let's it's Beyonce's tour bus let the good Times role.
Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, let's go take a break
Speaker 1: so I can pay for these tickets. That's about it.
Speaker 1: To happen again in September. We'll be back with listening letters.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, back from our break, let's get into
Speaker 2: listen to letters.
Speaker 3: Let's focus and get back to that ass podcast. Enough,
Speaker 3: talk about Beyonce the tour.
Speaker 2: Writing in from Brooklyn, not a native, but been here
Speaker 2: for almost eight years, so it's my adopted hometown originally
Speaker 2: from Denver. Dope, Oh you upgrading, Welcome to Brooklyn, exactly,
Speaker 2: You're welcome.
Speaker 3: You're welcome.
Speaker 2: I love your show and love your personalities as well
Speaker 2: as the great work that you're doing.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: So here's my situation. Then, question, I'm a black gay
Speaker 2: male who recently realized I have a subconscious fear of
Speaker 2: straight black men. Interesting Growing up, I was verbally bullied
Speaker 2: for being feminine by men in my life brothers and
Speaker 2: their friends for example, and others church members', school, etc.
Speaker 2: This continued until I became an adult. Now that I'm
Speaker 2: much older and bigger, the bullying has stuffed. I don't
Speaker 2: hope so because he's opened up a Canada, we'll bet. However,
Speaker 2: I still find myself having physical discomfort around heterosexual black men.
Speaker 2: I have been lately pondering about the general state of
Speaker 2: brotherhood between straight and black slash trans black men. The
Speaker 2: recent murder of Osha Sibley in Brooklyn, as well as
Speaker 2: recent experiences of verbal gay bashing personally. Although they've never
Speaker 2: laid hands on me, as I stay ready, I hope
Speaker 2: you do. Bro has triggered me feeling on defense whenever
Speaker 2: I'm in a setting with straight black men. We're supposed
Speaker 2: to stay together as black folk, but sadly, money in
Speaker 2: our community feel very uncomfortable peddling.
Speaker 4: No very comfortable, oh sorry, feel.
Speaker 2: Very comfortable pedaling in homophobia and transphobia without realizing how
Speaker 2: damaging this is to the collective. My question is, what
Speaker 2: are your thoughts about reconciling brotherhood between straight black men
Speaker 2: and gay slash trans black men.
Speaker 3: Is it possible? Is this realistic?
Speaker 2: What are your conversation likes amongst your peers with lgbt
Speaker 2: Q related issues when they come up. Also, as parents,
Speaker 2: what are your thoughts in introducing the concept of LGBTQ
Speaker 2: people to your children. I feel like educating and familiarizing
Speaker 2: children when they are young increases acceptance and inclusion when
Speaker 2: they're older. Hopefully you'll read this letter. I definitely will
Speaker 2: be listening. Of course, I know you got tons of these,
Speaker 2: so if you, If not, you still have a lifelong
Speaker 2: fan in me. God bless you, and God keep you,
Speaker 2: and God keep up the great work.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Well, the first thing, the first thing I'll say, is
Speaker 1: understand where he's coming from. If he's around my age,
Speaker 1: I grew up not even knowing homophobia was a thing,
Speaker 1: because the way we spoke was just the way we spoke.
Speaker 1: You had no idea that it was even considered homophobic,
Speaker 1: and that was the norm.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: So you grow up and you find out later on
Speaker 1: in life that you have friends who engay their whole life,
Speaker 1: and you're like, yo, why you didn't say nothing?
Speaker 4: And it's like, when was I supposed to say something?
Speaker 1: Like all y'all did was make jokes and make fun
Speaker 1: of people like I've never been I've never been with
Speaker 1: a group of people or been around people who were
Speaker 1: physically abusive, but we always made jokes or said things
Speaker 1: because that was the culture, right, And even myself going
Speaker 1: to the Boys and Girls Club when I was in Morristown, Tennessee,
Speaker 1: there was a divide, right. So I love performing arts,
Speaker 1: so I used to sing and dance and do plays
Speaker 1: in the back, but I also played basketball in football,
Speaker 1: and I remember making a decision to say, I'm going
Speaker 1: to be good at sports because I love performing arts
Speaker 1: and I don't want people to make fun of me
Speaker 1: thinking I'm gay. Because I remember there was a young
Speaker 1: man at the Boys and Girls Club. I don't want
Speaker 1: to say his name because you know, you might have
Speaker 1: grew up, but he was really big into the arts,
Speaker 1: and they made fun of him all the time, and
Speaker 1: they used to do like pick on him and do
Speaker 1: stuff to him, like like take his drink when he
Speaker 1: was at juice and do stuff like that. Until we
Speaker 1: all went through puberty, and he got just as big
Speaker 1: and he put hands on somebody.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he said, that's that's it. You know what I'm
Speaker 4: saying now.
Speaker 1: I don't know whether he grew up to be gay
Speaker 1: or not, but he was more feminine than the other guys.
Speaker 1: And that doesn't always mean that you're gay, because I
Speaker 1: have friends who grew up with just their moms, who
Speaker 1: have feminine qualities, who love women, who are now with women,
Speaker 1: but they just have feminine qualities because they grew up
Speaker 1: around nothing but women. But I remember watching that as
Speaker 1: a young man and seeing that and making decisions about
Speaker 1: I got to play sports so that, you know, people
Speaker 1: don't pick on me.
Speaker 4: So I can understand exactly where he's coming from.
Speaker 1: And I've never I've never been gay a thought about
Speaker 1: being gay, but I did also have that fear if
Speaker 1: people think I'm sore, I'm going to be a target
Speaker 1: to get picked on. So him now being out as
Speaker 1: a full gay man, I understand where his fear comes from.
Speaker 1: When it comes to our children, we had just a
Speaker 1: quick story. Once again, I have friends who are members
Speaker 1: of the LGBTQ community.
Speaker 2: When you move on to our children, I'm just going
Speaker 2: to give a little bit of perspective about growing up
Speaker 2: and the language and the jargon around it. Right, So
Speaker 2: you grow up just innately hearing a song or saying
Speaker 2: a phrase, and just because people say it and they
Speaker 2: do it, you just figure like, oh, it's no big deal,
Speaker 2: there's no harm done. One particular song, there's a reggae song,
Speaker 2: Chit Chimune Yes love the song. When I was growing up,
Speaker 2: would sing it all the time, but then I actually
Speaker 2: stopped and well, listen to the lyrics, and it essentially
Speaker 2: was talking about burning gay men, like killing them. And
Speaker 2: now I refuse to listen to it for that reason
Speaker 2: because I'm like my conscious you're more conscious of it. Right,
Speaker 2: So when we're younger and we don't realize what we're
Speaker 2: actually saying and doing and how it is perpetuating this
Speaker 2: hate for that particular community, then you decide now as
Speaker 2: an adult that and especially having, like you said, friends
Speaker 2: as an adult that you know are openly gay out there,
Speaker 2: whether there's a man or a woman or trans like,
Speaker 2: you know better and you do better.
Speaker 3: So I know that.
Speaker 2: We've also made that effort to include it with our
Speaker 2: children and to educate them on that world.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And he made a great point He made a
Speaker 1: great point about introducing it to your kids younger to
Speaker 1: just and humanizes them so that you can stop the hate, right,
Speaker 1: because no one deserves to be murdered or bullied or
Speaker 1: beat up or ostracized because of their own preference, Like,
Speaker 1: no one deserves that right or just for who they are,
Speaker 1: for who they are, Like that's just let's just be clear,
Speaker 1: no one deserves that. And I remember Jackson had asked
Speaker 1: some questions about it when he was in middle school
Speaker 1: and he had made a comment about him and his friends.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, because they're in that age now,
Speaker 1: twelve thirteen, same thing. When you're a young at a
Speaker 1: lit I sent boy, there comes a point when you
Speaker 1: get to this fork in the road where all my
Speaker 1: friends do this, all my friends say this, so we're
Speaker 1: all doing this together and it's.
Speaker 2: Just like lingo, like they'll say where it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: that's that's that's zesty or that's that and it's like
Speaker 2: what exactly do you mean by that? And we're the
Speaker 2: parents now that will question that, Like you say the word,
Speaker 2: but what does that mean? Do you know what it means?
Speaker 2: Do you know how you could potentially be offending somebody.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so Jackson I made a comment about he
Speaker 1: had made a comment about something, and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't We're not going to that because we don't
Speaker 1: want to be around at him and all his friends.
Speaker 1: And we were just like, what do you mean you
Speaker 1: don't want to be around it. He was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know my friends. He's like, we're not doing that
Speaker 1: because we don't want to be around that. So then
Speaker 1: I had made a point. I said, well, you know,
Speaker 1: and one of my friends who's not out yet but
Speaker 1: he's clearly a homosexual man. I said, well, you know,
Speaker 1: so and so is gay and Jackson was like, oh,
Speaker 1: we're And I was like yeah, and I was like
Speaker 1: and so and so, and Jackson was like, oh.
Speaker 3: And so and so.
Speaker 2: And we started listing a bunch of people who are
Speaker 2: in close proximity to us, who we love, who are family.
Speaker 1: To Jackson immediately was just like, oh, all right, well,
Speaker 1: I guess it's fine then. And then when they came
Speaker 1: by the house, I had told them what had happened,
Speaker 1: and the young man I'm talking about started to cry
Speaker 1: a little bit because he's like, you're breaking a generational
Speaker 1: curse of passing down that stigma that you don't want
Speaker 1: to be around it. So then Jackson comes in the
Speaker 1: room and he kind of the young man tightened up
Speaker 1: a little bit because he didn't know how Jackson was
Speaker 1: going to respond.
Speaker 4: Now to Jackson knows he's gay, and Jackson went was like,
Speaker 4: what's up?
Speaker 1: Gave him a pound or whatever, and he was just like,
Speaker 1: it's that simple. Once you humanize something, it becomes easy. Yes,
Speaker 1: but here is my question, right, because he said members
Speaker 1: of the gay trans community, right. Part of it is
Speaker 1: also understanding if we don't understand, can we have civil
Speaker 1: discourse without being labeled? You know what I'm saying, because
Speaker 1: if I say something that I don't understand and I
Speaker 1: ask a certain question, a lot of times, if you're
Speaker 1: a heterosexual man, you fear being labeled homophobic or transforming
Speaker 1: because you ask a question and it happens lot of times.
Speaker 1: We and I'll say we, because I'm a member of
Speaker 1: the heterosexual community, are afraid to even engage in that conversation,
Speaker 1: in part because I just don't want to be labeled anything.
Speaker 1: And when I speak to some of my friends, they're like, yo,
Speaker 1: I do have questions. I wonder how am I supposed
Speaker 1: to navigate a move in this space, but if I
Speaker 1: say the wrong thing, now I'm labeled. So it's you
Speaker 1: know what, I just won't say nothing. But you know what,
Speaker 1: sometimes your silence makes you complicit in the destruction of
Speaker 1: those people. When you say nothing, exactly what happens a
Speaker 1: lot of times is you're creating this silence where you
Speaker 1: won't even engage in conversation without labeling someone.
Speaker 4: I don't want to be labeled.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be silent, but I don't know
Speaker 1: how to move because I really don't want to hurt
Speaker 1: anyone's feelings, you know.
Speaker 4: Shout out to Trouble, you know, our producer.
Speaker 1: A lot of times when I'm wanting to discuss something,
Speaker 1: I ask her first, you know, because Trouble has made
Speaker 1: it very clear to everyone that she's a member of
Speaker 1: the LGBTQ IA plus community. So I running by her
Speaker 1: to make sure I'm not being offensive.
Speaker 2: But and it really just comes from a place of
Speaker 2: not knowing and not knowing rights, right, because you want
Speaker 2: to be able to have discourse with someone but not
Speaker 2: feel like they're then judging you or then labeling you
Speaker 2: as like, oh, he's asking this question because he might
Speaker 2: potentially not fuck with this community.
Speaker 4: Right, but what if everyone doesn't have a trouble.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or a safe space to be a safe space.
Speaker 1: To discuss a lot of times the safe space isn't
Speaker 1: only created by a heterosexual man. There has to be
Speaker 1: a safe space created by a homosexual or trans man
Speaker 1: so or a trans woman to be able to say
Speaker 1: this is how we move and why if there's no
Speaker 1: safe space created by all parties, we won't ever be
Speaker 1: able to have discourse.
Speaker 4: You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I think that may happen too, because some people from
Speaker 2: either community may just be very dismissive of even having
Speaker 2: that discourse because they just don't feel like it exists
Speaker 2: or they don't feel like it's a real thing or
Speaker 2: that you know, it's almost like a made up thing, right.
Speaker 4: What you mean the safe space of discourse?
Speaker 2: No, the made up space of being trans or being
Speaker 2: you know, non binary, Like this is something that people
Speaker 2: actually live. This is actually the person dealing with this experience.
Speaker 2: I am non binary for this reason, and they may
Speaker 2: not even feel comfortable expressing why they feel like they
Speaker 2: are or no, and I shouldn't say that they don't
Speaker 2: feel comfortable expressing themselves because some people don't even believe
Speaker 2: that that's a real thing.
Speaker 3: Some people just feel like you're supposed to be a
Speaker 3: man or a woman.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it makes sense what you're saying.
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is is he asked about having
Speaker 1: open discourse and discussion, and what I'm saying is is
Speaker 1: that it's going to take all sides, not just heterosexual
Speaker 1: men being open to the discussion, because I've had I've
Speaker 1: been in rooms where people have been trying to have
Speaker 1: discussions and then when you ask questions, they get offended,
Speaker 1: and then the finger pointing starts when you ask that
Speaker 1: because you're homophobic. No, I ask that because I don't know.
Speaker 1: And it's like, I really don't want to offend you.
Speaker 1: So since I don't want to offend you, just.
Speaker 2: Rather not even it's almost like not engaged in conversation
Speaker 2: about religion, politics and things.
Speaker 1: Like that, because if you don't understand it, if you
Speaker 1: don't understand it, I really don't want to offend you,
Speaker 1: my brother, I don't, but I do have questions, and
Speaker 1: if my questions offend you, I'd rather not have questions.
Speaker 1: But then if I don't ask questions and you say
Speaker 1: I should try to get to know you. How can
Speaker 1: I get to know you without asking questions without offending you?
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. So I think there's work
Speaker 1: that needs to be done on both sides. Now, of course,
Speaker 1: every time you say this work that needs to be
Speaker 1: done on both sides, the first thing that's thought of is, well,
Speaker 1: your side is the side that's violent to our side,
Speaker 1: which I agree. Like, if you understand the context of
Speaker 1: being a member of the lgbt QUI A plus community,
Speaker 1: violence has been inflicted on that community from the heterosexual side,
Speaker 1: So I understand that they feel like we don't have
Speaker 1: to do as much work as you feel. If you
Speaker 1: understand the context of that, your heart softens because now
Speaker 1: it's not a me versus you.
Speaker 4: I'm still being this and I will be honest and
Speaker 4: say that.
Speaker 1: Help me understand how I can have a conversation without
Speaker 1: being labeled or without being given a title. That's now
Speaker 1: going to walk with me for the rest of my
Speaker 1: life because I didn't understand, because, like you said, if
Speaker 1: I didn't live in that lifestyle, how am I going
Speaker 1: to know how to exist.
Speaker 4: In this lifestyle? Right?
Speaker 1: There was a clip house, There was a clip of
Speaker 1: Malik Yoba on the Breakfast Club and he had he
Speaker 1: said sis born a natural born women and he immediately
Speaker 1: was They was like, oh my god, see that's homophobic.
Speaker 1: That's a microaggression because natural born is this. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: if I haven't existed in that community, and I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know the terms that you deem acceptable or
Speaker 1: not acceptable. So you know what I'd rather do. I'd
Speaker 1: rather just be quise, just not say anything.
Speaker 4: Don't want to offend you.
Speaker 1: Because we live in a day and age now, even
Speaker 1: if I accidentally offend you by asking a question, I
Speaker 1: can be labeled homophobic, a tre phobic, and now the
Speaker 1: things that I'm trying to do in my life are
Speaker 1: all superseded by the fact that, oh, that's transphobic or
Speaker 1: that's homophobic. Just ask the question. And it's scary. It's scary,
Speaker 1: especially with cancel culture. You know, it's scary to try
Speaker 1: to engage in those conversations. The same way it's scary
Speaker 1: to engage in conversations of men versus women. Right, we
Speaker 1: have battle of the sexist conversations all the time. If
Speaker 1: I ask a question or say something or give my
Speaker 1: opinion on something. Then it's like, oh, just say you
Speaker 1: don't love women. It's like, I love women.
Speaker 2: That is true, it's true, and in both sides cut
Speaker 2: at the knees before you even get to explain yourself.
Speaker 1: If a woman says something, especially about a black man,
Speaker 1: it's just like, oh, you don't support black men. If
Speaker 1: you say something to ask a question about black women,
Speaker 1: you don't support black women.
Speaker 4: And it's like I just asked the question, like you
Speaker 4: know what I'm saying. If we're really going to have discourse,
Speaker 4: there needs to be an opening on all.
Speaker 2: It needs to be discourse where people can say their
Speaker 2: piece and they can be who they are, and we say, okay.
Speaker 3: Understand, either agree to disagree.
Speaker 2: You're not trying to get me to You're not trying to,
Speaker 2: you know, convince me of anything. I'm not coming from
Speaker 2: a place of judgment either. It's just that here's how
Speaker 2: we do things. Here's how we do things. Okay, I
Speaker 2: get it?
Speaker 4: Cool?
Speaker 3: You happy?
Speaker 2: You happy for people to co exist like that. And
Speaker 2: that's why when it comes to our children, we're very
Speaker 2: deliberate about deliberate about telling them that they need to
Speaker 2: just respect all people and let people be who.
Speaker 3: They are you know?
Speaker 2: And I love that Jackson now after even having that conversation,
Speaker 2: will say to his friends, it's not cool to say that,
Speaker 2: Like Jackson has become that persons you know, all up
Speaker 2: inside his group chats and stuff on his phone. And
Speaker 2: one definite, he's the one that does not take bullying.
Speaker 2: Remember there was another kid building another kid in the
Speaker 2: group chat.
Speaker 1: This wasn't even a sexual thing. It was they were
Speaker 1: all on the football team or basketball. It was basketball
Speaker 1: at this point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, nothing to do with homophobia.
Speaker 4: They were debating about sports teams.
Speaker 1: It would be about sports teams and it was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you keep switching teams, and then it was just a constant.
Speaker 2: Name calling, right, and the kid didn't chill. So Dad
Speaker 2: Jackson just the screwp chat like, we're not doing that.
Speaker 1: Over here here to hear to his question, I think
Speaker 1: we can have civil discourse, but all sides have to
Speaker 1: be open and willing.
Speaker 2: To yes, super open minded about it too as well.
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening.
Speaker 3: Thank you, appreciate you, Thank you. Lovia number two. Oh,
Speaker 3: this one's a shorter one.
Speaker 4: Mister and missus Ellis. I have nothing but mad respect
Speaker 4: for the both of you. Thank you. We appreciate you
Speaker 4: as well. I love listening to the podcast.
Speaker 1: It brings me peace knowing I can have something to
Speaker 1: listen to while at work on the way home, knowing
Speaker 1: the information that has talked about is very knowledgeable.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: We would just be over here chatting, but okay, we.
Speaker 4: Work hard trying to give y'all something positive. I love
Speaker 4: that I just became a fan. I just became a
Speaker 4: first time dad.
Speaker 1: Oh this is two guys back to back, and I
Speaker 1: just want to know what's the best way to be
Speaker 1: supportive for my wife and help her be able to
Speaker 1: get back on her feet. And do y'all have any
Speaker 1: suggestions on a good way to take her on a
Speaker 1: quick getaway to help her relax and recover from getting
Speaker 1: ambushed by everyone.
Speaker 4: It's the first thing.
Speaker 2: Let me copy it past all of the is next
Speaker 2: show is coming up, so that way you can she
Speaker 2: can get fluid out for a week.
Speaker 1: And maybe I'm gonna give you one not kidding piece
Speaker 1: of advice. Listen to your wife. And as I'm saying that,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let my wife tell you how you can
Speaker 1: help her, and then once she's done, I'll piggyback off
Speaker 1: of that, but the first thing is listen to her.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I think the biggest thing for a first time
Speaker 2: mom and dad.
Speaker 3: With the mom, it's a.
Speaker 2: Mixed thing because it's like you you want help and
Speaker 2: you need help, but you don't necessarily want to ask
Speaker 2: for help because you don't want to be a burden.
Speaker 2: For example, the baby, I really would love to just
Speaker 2: get a couple hours of sleep, but I don't want
Speaker 2: to leave my baby because if I leave for a
Speaker 2: couple hours, I don't know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 3: To this baby, you know.
Speaker 2: So there's that battle between wanting to try to do
Speaker 2: and be everything for the baby in that moment, but
Speaker 2: then also knowing like I need a break. So I
Speaker 2: would say, as a first time dad, anticipate the things
Speaker 2: that she may need. Anticipate the small, daunting, tedious, mundane,
Speaker 2: everyday tasks that she would normally take care of. That
Speaker 2: now you can either outsource and bring in family to help,
Speaker 2: or you can do You will be surprised how far
Speaker 2: a clean load of laundry, folded and put away can go,
Speaker 2: how far a meal can go, how far a hey,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take the baby for two hours, so you
Speaker 2: can take a nap because if she's breastfeeding, she's up
Speaker 2: every two hours anyway. But it's really just reassuring her
Speaker 2: and letting her know that, yo, these things don't have
Speaker 2: to be taken care of, so you can heal and
Speaker 2: you can take time to be in recovery and take
Speaker 2: care of yourself, because a lot of times, first time
Speaker 2: they're going to be asking about the baby. Everyone is
Speaker 2: gonna be like, let me see the baby, how's.
Speaker 3: The baby doing?
Speaker 2: And then my kind of falls by the wayside. So you, dad,
Speaker 2: that's your role of course, while doting over baby and
Speaker 2: helping to take care of baby. I love that he's
Speaker 2: writing in because he sees that the focus should be
Speaker 2: on getting his woman back up to speed. Suggestions for
Speaker 2: a good way to take her for a quick getaway.
Speaker 2: I mean it could even just be a quick if
Speaker 2: you want to get her out of the house. It
Speaker 2: can be a spa date, it can be a dinner date.
Speaker 2: It could be something as simple as that, or if
Speaker 2: she's not comfortable leaving the house yet, just having Grandma
Speaker 2: or somebody come to oversee the baby while maybe you
Speaker 2: bring home you know, in home missuits, you know, so
Speaker 2: that she can just get away for a little bit
Speaker 2: and get taken care of. There's so many different things
Speaker 2: that you can do. What are some things that you
Speaker 2: did when well, he's baby, because we had four of them,
Speaker 2: so there was so many things that I had.
Speaker 1: This is the very first thing that no one ever
Speaker 1: talks talks about. Right, you have to prepare your wife
Speaker 1: or the mother of your child before the baby comes,
Speaker 1: to be prepared to let other people help with the child.
Speaker 1: You have to prepare them so that when the baby comes,
Speaker 1: they can rest. The biggest issue with having a newborn
Speaker 1: is sleep deprivation.
Speaker 4: I say this all the time. I said it at
Speaker 4: the live show.
Speaker 1: One of my friends Navy seal said the biggest training,
Speaker 1: the biggest part of training that they struggled with the
Speaker 1: most was learning how to be efficient while sleep deprived.
Speaker 1: They made them stay awake I think it was eighteen
Speaker 1: hours and after being awake for eighteen hours, had them
Speaker 1: go through a whole bunch of stuff and people were discombobulated,
Speaker 1: didn't know how to use their weapons. A lot of
Speaker 1: guys quit, super emotional, couldn't make good decisions. I said, wow,
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're pregnant, but it may be realized
Speaker 1: that pregnancy comes with hormonal changes, but sleep deprivation on
Speaker 1: top of hormonal changes, you're not gonna be next to
Speaker 1: the person that you knew. That's why so many couples
Speaker 1: end up getting divorced or end up separating after kids,
Speaker 1: because sleep deprivation is.
Speaker 4: Real, and it's not only for mom.
Speaker 1: You know who else has to get rest, dad, Because
Speaker 1: most of the time, if your dad, like you rolled
Speaker 1: in here, that means when your wife gets up, you're
Speaker 1: gonna get up as well. When that baby cries, you're
Speaker 1: gonna cry, but you also have to go back to work.
Speaker 3: When the baby you're gonna cry, You're gonna cry.
Speaker 4: I cry too every time. When Jackson was first born,
Speaker 4: when Jacks cried, I was like, he was just crying,
Speaker 4: like to the half hours. I gotta glory to the jam
Speaker 4: and then I'm going to be up.
Speaker 1: I'm looking all day and he's crying out out crying,
Speaker 1: not your mother crying.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I just got twenty seven stitches in my cervix.
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear about your crying.
Speaker 2: Bro.
Speaker 1: Make sure you find time to get rest as well,
Speaker 1: because you know who else gets super emotional after babies. Men,
Speaker 1: We don't talk about this. Men get emotional because of
Speaker 1: sleep deprivation. Imagine two sleep deprived people dealing with a
Speaker 1: child for the first time.
Speaker 3: That's the fact.
Speaker 2: And I know what this child is because this child
Speaker 2: is not communicating with you at a bone. And then
Speaker 2: also too, he says, how did we recover from getting
Speaker 2: ambushed by everyone?
Speaker 4: I'm about to I'm about to tell you it's okay.
Speaker 4: Maybe you asked me what I'm about to tell I
Speaker 4: mean you.
Speaker 3: Want to go.
Speaker 2: I spoke about bringing in help, but also I want
Speaker 2: I was about to go. Sometimes you have to set
Speaker 2: boundaries and you have to say, you know what, we're
Speaker 2: not accepting any help other than maybe a mother or
Speaker 2: a sister or an aunt now is coming to help.
Speaker 2: It's okay to have boundaries with people visiting.
Speaker 1: Yes, but I'm na speak from a dad's standpoint, because
Speaker 1: it's hard for moms at that point to set boundaries
Speaker 1: because moms are tired of sleep deprived. They know everyone
Speaker 1: to see the baby as the protector and provide. You
Speaker 1: have to set boundaries for all of those people, your
Speaker 1: wife's friends, your wife's siblings, your siblings. You have to
Speaker 1: set boundary to be like, hey, this is my wife.
Speaker 1: This is what she needs. If you want to this
Speaker 1: is what I did. You want to help create a schedule.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: When you create a schedule, the schedule allows that everyone
Speaker 1: can see her, but they don't come.
Speaker 4: At the same time.
Speaker 3: The same time yep, right, And.
Speaker 4: Then you have certain people online in there that this
Speaker 4: person comes.
Speaker 1: I know my wife's gonna sleep when my wife's mom
Speaker 1: will come over, When my mom will come over, her
Speaker 1: sister will come over. I knew that those were people
Speaker 1: that kuld Dean trusted. So when they came over, I
Speaker 1: would take the baby and I'd be like yo yo.
Speaker 1: I just literally would mushir in the bed and I
Speaker 1: would take the baby and I'd be like yo, ma here,
Speaker 1: I would get into bed with her. We would cuddle
Speaker 1: ourselves to sleep, because you also need that get.
Speaker 4: Back to each other.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it's not a sexuble thing real, but the
Speaker 1: oxytocin is real. When a woman feels protected and covered
Speaker 1: because their child's father is behind them and they can
Speaker 1: cuddle and sleep in bed, they wake up feeling a
Speaker 1: lot better. Yes, and your grandmother was the one who
Speaker 1: used to come grab the baby and just be like
Speaker 1: y'all to stay sleep that helped us so much.
Speaker 2: She would barely hear a whimper, and she'd be in
Speaker 2: the room with going with the baby. It was like
Speaker 2: that episode of the Cosmme Show. At one point I
Speaker 2: was like, where's the baby? Me to that woke up,
Speaker 2: I'm like, where the baby going?
Speaker 4: You know, I knew where they went.
Speaker 2: There was such a good sleep though, that I almost
Speaker 2: like forgot the fact that I had a baby.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the house.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So set up a schedule and be like, oh,
Speaker 2: best friends such and such wants to come by and
Speaker 2: you want to come out. Great, can you come by
Speaker 2: and bring breakfast, bring breakfast, coffee, bagels, whatever.
Speaker 3: Great?
Speaker 2: Oh, such as us wants to come by, Well, you're
Speaker 2: gonna leave for breakfast, Come and bring some lunch, be
Speaker 2: prepared to make dinner, Come do a load of laundry.
Speaker 2: Assist us in this way absolutely, and is the best
Speaker 2: thing that you can do for her.
Speaker 4: Yo, don't be afraid to ask people for help.
Speaker 1: And here's the last part, because the question he asked
Speaker 1: getaways our first getaway, because remember we was broke as
Speaker 1: fuck when we just had Jackson, right, our first get
Speaker 1: away was Jackson was four months made June July three
Speaker 1: months and we had our wedding anniversary. We had an
Speaker 1: overnight staycation downtown Manhattan. It was beautiful. It was beautiful.
Speaker 4: Her mom took the baby, had the baby overnight. This
Speaker 4: was the first time Kadeen was away from him for overnight.
Speaker 4: She cried at dinner. You allow her to cry at dinner.
Speaker 4: This was after the sixth week mark, so we knew
Speaker 4: we was going to get it in. But it was
Speaker 4: really just about her saying, look, babe, the baby is
Speaker 4: going to be fine. Get dressed up, look as nice
Speaker 4: as you can, feel like yourself. Let's go out. We
Speaker 4: didn't go see a show. We just stayed in the hotel.
Speaker 4: We went to dinner. We went to dinner, and we
Speaker 4: just chilled. It was July. We walked.
Speaker 3: We had to reconnect a little bit.
Speaker 1: We re reconnect. We walked Promena. Yeah, we walked to Promenade.
Speaker 1: So everything it doesn't have to be super expensive. The
Speaker 1: getaway doesn't have to be a huge getaway, but the
Speaker 1: getaway is the get away from the baby. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be I am a huge proponent of telling people
Speaker 1: that women have a lot of separation anxiety from their
Speaker 1: baby because their babies in their stomach, and I understand
Speaker 1: that I.
Speaker 2: Have it to this day when my kids walking out
Speaker 2: the door to school, I'm literally praying every day over
Speaker 2: all three of them, because I'm like, I cannot protect
Speaker 2: them any longer.
Speaker 4: You can't.
Speaker 2: Dakota is so attached to me, I think he wants
Speaker 2: to go back in and I would gladly let him
Speaker 2: at this point because.
Speaker 4: I'm the only person going back in there. Yep.
Speaker 1: That's a fact. Yep, that's a fact. Now things can
Speaker 1: come out of there. As we say, four four guys
Speaker 1: have come out of there, is going in.
Speaker 3: There for the rest of the time.
Speaker 1: With them chores, get some sleep for yourself, yes, and
Speaker 1: just love on her as much and keep reminding her
Speaker 1: how beautiful she is while her body's going through.
Speaker 3: Change and get it gets better. We're proving all right, y'all.
Speaker 2: If you want to be featured as a listener letter,
Speaker 2: it's not too late. The season is still going. We
Speaker 2: have another season coming up for you guys. Be sure
Speaker 2: you email us at dead Ass Advice at gmail dot
Speaker 2: com because y'all always come through with the bomb stories
Speaker 2: and letters.
Speaker 4: Yes, ma'am, or yes sir, that's d E A D
Speaker 4: A s. S A. D v I C. E at
Speaker 4: gmail dot com.
Speaker 3: All right, moment of truth time.
Speaker 2: We're talking about Deyonce recap devous Beyonce experience for the
Speaker 2: Renaissance tour.
Speaker 3: What's your moment of truth? Baby, my moon?
Speaker 1: The truth is simple. I had a good time. It
Speaker 1: was way grander than I thought it was going to be.
Speaker 1: The music was amazing, her performances were amazing. Watching you
Speaker 1: perform all of her performances were amazing, and watching you
Speaker 1: perform later on that night was amazing.
Speaker 3: So that was amazing. I love that for you. I
Speaker 3: love that for you.
Speaker 2: I get my moment of truth outside of Beyonce, because
Speaker 2: y'all already know love the girl and her music. But
Speaker 2: it was just really me feeling like I had a
Speaker 2: moment of growth where being deliberate about making sure that
Speaker 2: your spouse enjoys moments that could essentially be just for
Speaker 2: you and making it an experience for both of you
Speaker 2: is so important. Be Like, even think about Kadeen a
Speaker 2: couple of years ago, like like ten years ago, for example,
Speaker 2: my focus would have been all online, getting my hair done,
Speaker 2: get my makeup done, get my off together, all that,
Speaker 2: and then I probably would have went back to the
Speaker 2: hotel and fell asleep, when you'd have been like damn,
Speaker 2: Like I really just came along as an accessory to
Speaker 2: this experience, where instead, this time I was very deliberate
Speaker 2: about making sure that Deval would be able to enjoy
Speaker 2: the experience too and make it feel like it was
Speaker 2: for him too, And we get it together and we
Speaker 2: had a great time and I can't wait for the
Speaker 2: next show. Yeah. On that note, be sure to find
Speaker 2: us on Patreon. You guys have been subscribing lately. It's
Speaker 2: been awesome too because we've been able to get you
Speaker 2: guys more content, and that is the plan to continue
Speaker 2: to roll that out. So if you have not subscribed yet,
Speaker 2: subscribe to Patreon you where you can see exclusive dead
Speaker 2: Ass podcast video content and more of the Ellis family.
Speaker 2: And you can find us on social media at dead
Speaker 2: Ass the podcast.
Speaker 3: I'm Kadeine I am and I Am Devout.
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review, subscribe,
Speaker 1: and also pick up your copy of We Over Me,
Speaker 1: The Counterintuitive Approach to getting Everything you need to do
Speaker 1: your relationship, and.
Speaker 3: Leave us that beautiful five star review because we know
Speaker 3: you love it.
Speaker 4: So much, all the.
Speaker 3: Gems in there.
Speaker 4: Dead Ass.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network, and
Speaker 1: it's produced by Donorpina and Triple. Follow the podcast on
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