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Speaker 1: From now on, don't address me as the vibes, address

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Speaker 1: me as fonce.

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Speaker 2: What and just when I didn't think that anybody in

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Speaker 2: this household could trump.

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Speaker 3: Me as a beyon.

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Speaker 2: As a Beyonce fan, not by the look of things

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Speaker 2: these past few days, because you've been bopping and homming

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Speaker 2: around this house since you left their baby. Okay, Hey,

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Speaker 2: I'm Kadeen.

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Speaker 3: And and we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 4: You may know us from posting funny videos with.

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Speaker 2: Our boys and reading each other publicly.

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Speaker 3: As a form of therapy.

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Speaker 4: Wait, I make you need the most days? Wow?

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Speaker 3: Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

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Speaker 4: Yes, sir, we are.

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Speaker 1: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 1: my's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 3: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred,

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Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 1: Were about to take pilotof to our whole new level.

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Speaker 2: Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 1: So, as you guys know, Kadeena and I went on

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Speaker 1: the Sherry Shepperd Show too, from our New York Times

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Speaker 1: best selling book, We over Meet the Encounter, intuitive approach

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Speaker 1: to getting everything you want out of your relationship.

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Speaker 3: You guys remember that, right, and did you get your copy?

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Speaker 4: Shameless pluck shameless us didn't get your copies?

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Speaker 1: Still, But on that episode, I told the story about

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Speaker 1: me not being able to take Kadeen to go see

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Speaker 1: Beyonce back in twenty twelve because we had just got married.

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Speaker 1: She was supposed to pay off some bills she didn't,

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Speaker 1: so I didn't have the money to take her, and

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Speaker 1: it became a big argument. Right fast forward to this year,

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Speaker 1: one of our close friends, Tyler Perry, asked Kadeen if

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Speaker 1: she wanted to go see Opening Night in Sweden.

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Speaker 4: So they all went to go see Beyonce. Was a

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Speaker 4: great thing.

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Speaker 1: I thought Kadeen would be excited about that, right. I

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Speaker 1: went and saw Beyonce twice the first two.

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Speaker 4: Opening shows in Sweden. They all went you know what

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Speaker 4: I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: So I was excited about that. She got to see

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Speaker 1: her dream performer and a great experience. Then I come

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Speaker 1: to find out Beyonce is coming to Atlanta, right since

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Speaker 1: she had already went to Sweden. I was like, yo,

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Speaker 1: it's over, like she went to see her twice? Like

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Speaker 1: nothing better you can do than that? Right, So then

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Speaker 1: I get a text from Tyler. He goes, and this

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Speaker 1: is how the text sounded. Are you taking your wife

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Speaker 1: to go see Beyonce?

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Speaker 4: Said?

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Speaker 1: She already seen Beyonce twice opening night, like like why

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Speaker 1: did she have.

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Speaker 4: To go see her again?

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Speaker 1: He then calls me, right because the text wasn't nothing,

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Speaker 1: and he goes, take your wife to go see Beyonce?

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Speaker 1: I said, yo, tea, he said, trust me to take

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Speaker 1: your wife? Goes, do yourself a favor.

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Speaker 4: And take your wife to go see me. Honestly, I said,

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Speaker 4: damn fine, fine.

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Speaker 1: Fine, I was, I ain't gonna lie like yo, yo,

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Speaker 1: how come he don't never like call k and be

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Speaker 1: like trust up like Beyonce?

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Speaker 4: Like why you don't get those phone calls?

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Speaker 2: I was about to say, you don't even know what

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Speaker 2: side chatter we had, so don't even worry about it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but I was a little bit kind

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Speaker 1: of pissed off, right, So I was like, you know what, fine?

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Speaker 4: Fine?

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Speaker 1: I was like, babe, do you want to go see

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Speaker 1: She's like, got tickets Saturday, I'm going. I said, fine, Kadeen,

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Speaker 1: go do what you gotta do. So Tyler's on the phone,

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Speaker 1: he's laughing, He's like, trust me, you'll thank me later.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 1: That was on Tuesday. Like Tuesday, Kadeen went and got

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Speaker 1: these tickets. We had sex Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday

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Speaker 1: leading them to the show, all because she was so

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Speaker 1: excited to go see not.

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Speaker 4: Even talking up do with it come out.

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Speaker 1: Kadeen and I haven't had sex five days in a

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Speaker 1: row since our first trip to Virginia Beach, an.

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Speaker 2: Empty house with nobody any here but any of our parents.

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Speaker 4: In life, I agree, I'm not listen. I agree things

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Speaker 4: have not things have not lined up.

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Speaker 1: But I remember two thousand and three, that vacation that

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Speaker 1: was That was when we first thought we was grown.

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Speaker 1: Because two thousand and two I was a freshman, I

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Speaker 1: had a roommate. Two thousand and three, Kadeen moved into Hotsture,

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Speaker 1: she had a roommate. So we still couldn't get it

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Speaker 1: popping in when we wanted to. When we took that

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Speaker 1: spring break trip to Virginia Beach, that was the first

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Speaker 1: time we had had a space to ourselves for a

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Speaker 1: whole week. We had sex every single day. That's what

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Speaker 1: it felt like this past week.

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Speaker 3: It sure did.

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Speaker 2: There were so many things that was like the perfect.

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Speaker 4: Alignment of the joy.

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Speaker 1: The joy and going to see Beyonce from my wife

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Speaker 1: just made her so excited.

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Speaker 4: She was just excited.

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Speaker 1: So first of all, shout out to Tyler for making

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Speaker 1: it happen, because not only did we get the tickets,

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Speaker 1: we went CA. You know, she got some now, so

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Speaker 1: she's officially a member of the Beehive and she's met

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Speaker 1: some of beyonest people. She got people she can call

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Speaker 1: and she wants to get tickets. So she called and

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Speaker 1: gets the tickets. And then the night of the night

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Speaker 1: of the show, Tyler's assistant call and says, hey, do

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Speaker 1: I want to walk in with us? Kate was just like,

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Speaker 1: hell yeah, because then we get a chance to beat

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Speaker 1: the crowd. Let me tell you, first of all, let's

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Speaker 1: take a break. Let me just I'm gonna ending that

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Speaker 1: I'm going to explain to y'all the whole experience from

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Speaker 1: my perspective, because I am the boyfriend's slash husband that

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Speaker 1: did not understand the hype. I will be honest, I

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Speaker 1: didn't understand the hype and left there with a completely

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Speaker 1: different mindset.

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Speaker 3: Do you have a favorite song that you'd like to

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Speaker 3: a favorite song is?

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Speaker 1: It's very simple, right, I'm comfortable in my skin, cozy

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Speaker 1: with who I am.

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Speaker 4: I love myself.

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Speaker 1: God damn God damn cozy. It should cost the billion

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Speaker 1: to look.

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Speaker 2: This and oh no, not you remixing, putting songs together,

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Speaker 2: move out the way I'm with my girl, and that

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Speaker 2: we don't need space.

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Speaker 3: Queen come through part like that.

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Speaker 1: Here's another thing though, right, because the Renaissance album was

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Speaker 1: not my favorite Beyonce album.

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Speaker 4: I love R and B.

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Speaker 1: So when I first heard the album, I was like, yo,

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Speaker 1: it kind of reminds me of house music, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And we grew up on house music

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Speaker 1: all that. Yeah, it reminded me of like the nineties,

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Speaker 1: you know, but it was cool. But where we're at now,

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Speaker 1: like drill music from Brooklyn nineties, R and B nineties

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Speaker 1: hip ho that's.

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Speaker 3: Jay right in this music? Yes, is more our speed.

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Speaker 2: I admit too. I'll admit to when Renaissance first came out,

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Speaker 2: it took a while for me to kind of like

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Speaker 2: get into it. But it's a different experience once you're

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Speaker 2: there in concert and she's performing and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I get it.

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Speaker 1: That's what. But we gotta take another break before we come.

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Speaker 1: Let's take a break so I can break this down

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Speaker 1: how it happened.

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Speaker 2: Right, Let's go pay these bills beyond racking up a

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Speaker 2: couple a couple dollars on this tour. So let's get

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Speaker 2: out a little coins and we're gonna come back and

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Speaker 2: talk more.

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Speaker 1: All right, so we're back. First of all, let me

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Speaker 1: explain to y'all. When it was time to go to

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Speaker 1: the concert, Kadeen said, Okay, the concert starts at eight,

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Speaker 1: We're gonna leave the house at like four.

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Speaker 3: I'm like what I actually said about three.

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Speaker 2: I was like, well, we can do two and do

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Speaker 2: a really early dinner and then get down there and

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Speaker 2: be in a space.

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Speaker 3: We could even get a hotel like a couple.

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Speaker 1: We got a hotel in the same city as we live,

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Speaker 1: because Kadeen wanted to be down in the midst and

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Speaker 1: feel the energy before the show.

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Speaker 2: Right, and also beat the traffic, because what you're gonna

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Speaker 2: do is bitch and moan about traffic.

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Speaker 4: I was gonna bitch and moan about you.

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Speaker 2: And you were gonna bitch and moan about being hungry. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I want so I wanted to make sure you see

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Speaker 2: I had you covered.

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Speaker 1: I will say this you you curated a great experience.

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Speaker 1: And I want to say this to the young ladies

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Speaker 1: who are deciding to take their men to go see Beyonce. Right,

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Speaker 1: we do understand that it's all about you and Beyonce.

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Speaker 1: We understand that, but we have to go. Right, you

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Speaker 1: want us to go with you to share in the experience. Right,

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Speaker 1: it felt good that you curated, curated an experience that

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Speaker 1: included me. You made sure that I ate. You made

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Speaker 1: sure that I had enough nourishments and water. You made

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Speaker 1: sure we got down there and had a place to

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Speaker 1: stay so that I would have to fight traffic to

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Speaker 1: get there.

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Speaker 4: You you were on top of it.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you, before Tyler even asked me if

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Speaker 2: I was going on Saturday, I wanted to go this weekend. Okay,

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Speaker 2: but I also knew that Jackson had football practice.

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Speaker 3: He had a football game on Jemberee.

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Speaker 4: Now that he had a jam jimberee had to play

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Speaker 4: two differents.

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Speaker 2: Right, and the heat index when I looked at the

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Speaker 2: weather for the week on Monday was like astronomical. So

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Speaker 2: I'm like, there's no way that I was gonna want

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Speaker 2: to go coach a game, sit out there for two

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Speaker 2: games back to back, yelling and screaming and coaching and sweating,

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Speaker 2: to then go home to then have to turn around

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Speaker 2: to go to a concert.

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Speaker 3: So I had you in mine early.

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Speaker 4: I know, that's why I started early, and.

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Speaker 3: That's with somebody else.

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Speaker 4: But no, no.

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Speaker 1: No, no, that's why I got booties every day since Tuesday.

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Speaker 1: I was light on my feet.

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Speaker 4: By the top Saturday.

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Speaker 3: Let me tell you so, I.

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Speaker 4: Was a little punch drunk. So she was just like

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Speaker 4: we were going to see Beyonce.

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Speaker 2: Old empty sack. That's what was this, full belly empty sack.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how you get me to say yes, full

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Speaker 4: belly empty sack.

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Speaker 3: That's the spirit.

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Speaker 4: This is what was impressive.

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Speaker 1: Kadeen woke up early on Saturday, drove all the way

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Speaker 1: to Janelle's house to get her wig installed, and then

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Speaker 1: sat in that wig for two hours bruh at the

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Speaker 1: jam Beree. There was no trees, no shade, there were

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Speaker 1: no seats because it was at the practice facility at

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Speaker 1: some of one of these big high schools here in Atlanta,

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Speaker 1: and we went from game to game and she was

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Speaker 1: out there bruh, and she had on this blonde wig

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Speaker 1: and I ain't gonna I ain't gonna lie you. I

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Speaker 1: was coaching and I looked up and I was like, dang,

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Speaker 1: blondie got fatty. Turns out it was Coadeen. I forgot

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Speaker 1: she was going to get this blonde hair put in,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, god, da, let me stack.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you how much how much I was

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Speaker 2: concerned about you and wanting you to have a good

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Speaker 2: experience with me. So, in addition to booking the hotel room,

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Speaker 2: which was totally for you, because I'm like, listen, after

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Speaker 2: the concert, we can go there and have a good time,

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Speaker 2: Papa School was holding down the fort with the boys,

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Speaker 2: so we would have a good night together. We could

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Speaker 2: sleep in the next day, go for brunch. It'll be

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Speaker 2: a thing, right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I was so tired.

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Speaker 2: When I woke up Saturday morning, I was two seconds

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Speaker 2: away from canceling Janelle and be like, forget it.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna throw my hair in a bun and keep

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Speaker 3: it pushing.

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Speaker 4: No. No, I was like, we need this.

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Speaker 3: I was like nah, I was like, was going with

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Speaker 3: me to c B.

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Speaker 2: I gotta do this for him because at least this

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Speaker 2: way I told her, girl, I said, whatever that got

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Speaker 2: to be glue or whatever the hell that is. I said,

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Speaker 2: make sure that got to be got to be intact

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Speaker 2: for the good night.

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Speaker 4: And it was because you know I'd be snatching.

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Speaker 5: Did indeed, I'd be snatching, But nah, I feel like

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Speaker 5: the way you had everything set up, it was just

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Speaker 5: indicative of how we take care of each other.

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Speaker 1: I did this because I knew you wanted to go

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Speaker 1: see Beyonce, and you made sure everything around it was

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Speaker 1: good that I was taking care of.

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Speaker 4: Right, So just leading up to that, it was a

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Speaker 4: good feeling.

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Speaker 1: Going to the show, I was excited, but I was

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Speaker 1: also excited because I got to watch you dress up.

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Speaker 1: I was telling Josh that, you know how in the

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Speaker 1: nineties when the Teenage Ninja Turtles came out and Vanilla

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Speaker 1: Ice was you know, Ice Ice Baby.

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Speaker 4: Because the first one came out, no one knew what

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Speaker 4: to expect. The second one, they knew what to expect.

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Speaker 1: When we went to the movie theaters, all the kids

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Speaker 1: was dressed up like Ninja Turtles.

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Speaker 4: When we got to the show, all the kids was

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Speaker 4: dressed up like beyond it. Pretty much all the women

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Speaker 4: was dressed up.

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Speaker 1: Like beyond that, and it was it was like droves

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Speaker 1: of people. Right, So shout out once again to Tyler

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Speaker 1: because me and Kate bought ticket.

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Speaker 4: Here's another thing k did.

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Speaker 1: K said, Kay, Ivo, I know you don't want to

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Speaker 1: stand up the whole three hours.

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Speaker 4: You went and.

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Speaker 1: Got us seats right by the beehive where where you

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Speaker 1: can sit down, floor seats where you can sit. And

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Speaker 1: She's like, I'm gonna get the floor seas so you

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Speaker 1: can sit because I know, you know, you may not

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Speaker 1: want to dance the whole time.

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Speaker 4: You'll probably sit sometimes, but I'm gonna be up.

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Speaker 1: But I'm like, dang, she's really thinking about the things

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Speaker 1: that I may need while I'm there so she can

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Speaker 1: enjoy herself.

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Speaker 4: So I was excited to go, so you have a

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Speaker 4: good time.

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Speaker 1: Kadeen gets dressed at the hotel before we get up there, right,

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Speaker 1: and she got on this Jeane romper and it was

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Speaker 1: an old to what was the video where she had

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Speaker 1: on the white tank top with the jeans shorts and

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Speaker 1: crazy in Love and that was our song in college,

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Speaker 1: crazy and Love. So when people look at the outfit

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Speaker 1: or they look at Kadeen, it's like it wasn't old

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Speaker 1: to where we were at that time when we started

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Speaker 1: to fall in Love to on thousand and two, Crazy

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Speaker 1: and Love was out and her and jay Z had

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Speaker 1: that song together, so she had on the outfit with

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Speaker 1: the long blonde weave, and it was just so thoughtful

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Speaker 1: of everything that she was doing to curate the experience

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Speaker 1: for me but also for herself. And then Tyler was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: he was going to go to the the concert. He

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Speaker 1: was going to get tickets. At the rise of the

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Speaker 1: ass Space Rider, he was like, yof, y'all want to

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Speaker 1: walk in with me? Meet us here and YU can

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Speaker 1: walk in with us. So we get a chance to

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Speaker 1: walk in with Tyler, and it was just the dopest

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Speaker 1: experience walking, Like when we pulled up in the car

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Speaker 1: and it was me you Crystal Tina. We pull up

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Speaker 1: in the car and we're watching thousands of people walk

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Speaker 1: towards the stadium.

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Speaker 4: And cars could not move.

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Speaker 1: There were blocks of cars that couldn't move because people

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Speaker 1: were walking in.

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Speaker 2: Walking, they were singing at the stadium, they were performing

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Speaker 2: her song.

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Speaker 3: It was just a whole vibe.

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Speaker 1: And this was a seven fifteen, Yeah, seven twenty people

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Speaker 1: were all performing and walking. Mind you, it is over

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Speaker 1: one hundred degrees heat index out there. Yeah, so we

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Speaker 1: jump out the car and we walk to the stadium right,

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Speaker 1: and we get to the stadium, we get to where

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Speaker 1: our entrance is and we walk through the back and

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Speaker 1: we actually walk in the entrance where all the performers

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Speaker 1: are walking in, and we get to walk through the

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Speaker 1: stadium and we're watching all of these people dressed like

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Speaker 1: different versions of Beyonce.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's pretty cool.

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Speaker 1: And if you think about it, that's over twenty years

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Speaker 1: of celebrating It's twenty five years of celebrating a woman's accomplishments.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was eye opening to me.

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Speaker 2: I think it was almost like a big family reunion,

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Speaker 2: right like Atlanta. I feel like we saw so many

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Speaker 2: people who we hadn't seen in a long time.

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Speaker 3: Two of my friends from college were there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you know, my makeup.

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Speaker 2: My makeup ARTI Sean was there. She saw us from

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Speaker 2: a distance and text me like, I'm here too, our

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Speaker 2: realtor Aria, Yes, I was dressed too. Everybody. Janelle ended

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Speaker 2: up being able to come with a friend. It was

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Speaker 2: like we saw Jazzy and Cam a ton of people

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Speaker 2: there and it was like, yes, huge, huge family reunions

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Speaker 2: and I think that's the best part about it, right,

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Speaker 2: other than the reason why we're there Beyonce the music

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Speaker 2: and all that, it's almost like a camaraderie that people

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Speaker 2: have formed with this love for her music and her

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Speaker 2: performances of camaraderies.

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Speaker 1: There was also a camaraderie of boyfriend slash husbands slash

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Speaker 1: fiance's who didn't understand.

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Speaker 4: Why they were there, and they were all had the

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Speaker 4: same dress.

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Speaker 2: They all have like a silent like look at each

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Speaker 2: other kind of nod or were you're having conversations without

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Speaker 2: these guys.

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Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie to you.

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Speaker 1: We ended up at the Ace of Space lounge, right,

359
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:48,360
Speaker 1: and there's dudes there, some of them know jay Z.

360
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Speaker 1: Some of them are from Brooklyn because that's their whole environment.

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Speaker 1: So they're like, old, what's up?

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Speaker 4: You know? It was good, So I'm like, why you

363
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,720
Speaker 4: here on? My girl? Head? My girl? Oh yeah, okay.

364
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Speaker 1: So with the girl, they all got on like white

365
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:04,120
Speaker 1: teas or black T shirt jeans, like it's just jeans

366
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Speaker 1: T shirt.

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Speaker 4: Like they're not getting dressed up because this is not

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Speaker 4: what we do.

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Speaker 1: So we're all sitting there standing there with the straight

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Speaker 1: Brooklyn grill face like these people are crazy.

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Speaker 4: These people look crazy.

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00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:17,920
Speaker 1: And you get a chance to look around three sixty

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Speaker 1: V when you're in the Asus space line, you can

374
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:20,840
Speaker 1: see everything.

375
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,960
Speaker 4: People are already screaming.

376
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Speaker 3: And beonce hasn't even sit here.

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Speaker 1: Then it's still light. The lights are still the lights

378
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,000
Speaker 1: time come down.

379
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,400
Speaker 2: It's like you're still on and everybody is just like,

380
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,200
Speaker 2: oh my god, hey, well you know what's your favorite song?

381
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,920
Speaker 3: You're about to turn when this happens.

382
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:39,200
Speaker 2: Chloe and Holly Bailey came on to the riser and

383
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:40,840
Speaker 2: she came over to me and she was just like,

384
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:41,120
Speaker 2: oh my.

385
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 3: God, I love you and your sons and your husband,

386
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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

387
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Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't even know Chloe, right, you know,

388
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,680
Speaker 2: but it was just cool to see so many people

389
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:52,120
Speaker 2: of the year just to have a good time. No refrash,

390
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,880
Speaker 2: no violence, No, it was a good time.

391
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Speaker 1: It just felt like, like you said, like a family

392
00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,840
Speaker 1: reunion when you don't got no beef.

393
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Speaker 4: In your fan.

394
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,600
Speaker 2: So what was the turning point for you? I guess

395
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:07,199
Speaker 2: in the concert where you felt like, wow, I get why.

396
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:11,800
Speaker 4: The funny thing is it happened? It was there were

397
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,119
Speaker 4: two moments in particular.

398
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:18,480
Speaker 1: The first moment was when the lights went down, and

399
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,199
Speaker 1: they were like ladies and gentlemen, and I heard like

400
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:26,600
Speaker 1: and then you couldn't hear anybody right in front of

401
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,440
Speaker 1: you because the crowd was so loud, and.

402
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,720
Speaker 4: We're watching the stage. Everything start.

403
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,880
Speaker 1: The lights happened, and I'm watching you, and I put

404
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,159
Speaker 1: my phone out to get your reaction and stuff. And

405
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:41,520
Speaker 1: then the person says Beyonce and she steps out. She

406
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,919
Speaker 1: had on this red dress and they started playing the

407
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:50,359
Speaker 1: piano solo for Dangerously Dangerously in Love. Now here's a

408
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 1: story about dangerously in love?

409
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,359
Speaker 3: Oh, is it gonna be the story?

410
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:59,000
Speaker 4: We I was a sophomore in college. Then it was

411
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 4: a junior. She was an R rate. It's the first

412
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,280
Speaker 4: time we got our single, so.

413
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 3: He said, we got our single.

414
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,880
Speaker 4: Yes, first time I got a single. Guy like, I said,

415
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 4: I said what I said. I said what I said.

416
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,359
Speaker 4: We got our single for the first time.

417
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,760
Speaker 2: My first semester, I had a roommate and I told

418
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,400
Speaker 2: myself that I would never go another semester with a roommate.

419
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,199
Speaker 2: So we lived in a suite with the ra of

420
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,399
Speaker 2: that floor. And I said to her, Sis, she was

421
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:25,639
Speaker 2: actually black girls. I was like, Sis, I'm gonna need

422
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 2: to be where you're at. How do I get this single?

423
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,639
Speaker 2: And she walked me through the entire process, told me

424
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,520
Speaker 2: when they were having ra interviews and so said, So

425
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,040
Speaker 2: then I got my first single and loved every bit

426
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Speaker 2: of that eight by eight room.

427
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,920
Speaker 1: It was it nine thirteen estbrowelve twelve, nine to twelve,

428
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 1: went by.

429
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,520
Speaker 4: Eight, went by eight feet.

430
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Speaker 1: The room was so small that Kadeena and I had

431
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,320
Speaker 1: an air mattress that we blew up in the middle

432
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,480
Speaker 1: of the room and there was no space, but like

433
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 1: a full.

434
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 2: Size air size air match because my twin bed was

435
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 2: up against the window. Then we had like my desk

436
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 2: and then my closet and that was it.

437
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 4: It was that.

438
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:08,080
Speaker 1: And so we're in this room one day listening to

439
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,320
Speaker 1: R and B music like we typically did. Kadeen was studying,

440
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:15,200
Speaker 1: I was playing Knee for Speed and Dangerously and Loves

441
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,760
Speaker 1: Come On and I'm looking at she looking at me,

442
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 1: and we just knew in that moment, like a it's tuning,

443
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,240
Speaker 1: you know, take a little break, take a little break

444
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:25,159
Speaker 1: from studying and playing Need for Speed. So it was

445
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,800
Speaker 1: one of those moments where early on in our relationship,

446
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:33,520
Speaker 1: this wasn't a bam bam love making section. We were

447
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 1: actually making love, you know, like thing was on back,

448
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,520
Speaker 1: I was on top of her. It was a slow,

449
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 1: sexy groove because dangerously and love was on. And I

450
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,879
Speaker 1: remember kissing Kadeen and we were in the moment and

451
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 1: her eyes just started to water and tears dropped down

452
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:49,640
Speaker 1: her face.

453
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 4: And I was just like, yo, like what's the matter.

454
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,520
Speaker 1: And she was just like, I just love you so much,

455
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,479
Speaker 1: and I was like I love you too, And we

456
00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,639
Speaker 1: just kissed and we made love, and then we laid

457
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 1: there the music played and we fell asleep.

458
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:05,080
Speaker 3: Mm hm.

459
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 1: And those are one of the first few moments other

460
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,880
Speaker 1: than beauty that I remember, Like, then we made love.

461
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 4: We didn't have.

462
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 1: Like a bam bam session in Kyle, you know how

463
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 1: you all when you nineteen, you just trying to ram

464
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 1: through something.

465
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:18,919
Speaker 4: No, we actually made love.

466
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 2: Feeling like a softy y'all know, a thug and you

467
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,359
Speaker 2: got me out here sounding all sot.

468
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 1: You can't be a thug with that wig on. You

469
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,639
Speaker 1: could take it off. You could take it off.

470
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,040
Speaker 3: And no, y'all don't want to see what that looks like.

471
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,959
Speaker 4: You look a your corns look all right?

472
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 3: Anyway back to you look like you.

473
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 1: Look like a little hot stud you do you know?

474
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 1: You come on, y'all, y'all know some of the stuffs

475
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 1: be out here looking good. Because then I walked in

476
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 1: the I walked into I walked in the kitchen on

477
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 1: a sports bra some baggy sweat fans and the braids

478
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 1: she had fitted hat, and.

479
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 4: I was like, who the fuck is in my kitchen

480
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 4: right now?

481
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 3: Like it was snap back that I kind of had

482
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 3: cocked up.

483
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 2: Because I want to take it off fever and you

484
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 2: can kind of see the brains poking through the side,

485
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,400
Speaker 2: and I was like, what are you?

486
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 4: What are you doing?

487
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 3: Are you coming from?

488
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 1: Look kind of good though, kind of caught me off guard.

489
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,479
Speaker 1: I was like, I ain't know I was into this.

490
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 4: You look all right, come in.

491
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 3: You're a mess.

492
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 4: I'm a mess. I'm a mess. On you look good

493
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 4: though in the braids.

494
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,399
Speaker 3: So it was that dangerously in love moment.

495
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,160
Speaker 4: It was that dangerously in love moment where I think

496
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 4: that's what it brought me, the nostalgia. It brought me back.

497
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 4: It brought me back, and I was like the beginning.

498
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 1: Of her career where she started to you know, accentuate

499
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:39,159
Speaker 1: herself as the solo artists of that time, like it

500
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 1: was Dangerously in Love, it was what was the other

501
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 1: song just.

502
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 4: On the run?

503
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,879
Speaker 2: Well yeah, well those came after, but on that particular

504
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 2: album there was like signs Speechless, like there were a

505
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 2: bunch of really Beasless.

506
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 4: Is another song too that.

507
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 1: Ye speech we have another song, but there was a

508
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 1: song that R and B that R and B style

509
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,640
Speaker 1: of the answer was what I grew to love.

510
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,159
Speaker 2: I think that was good for her to do and

511
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 2: smart with her performance when you think about like how

512
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,719
Speaker 2: you roll out a show, right, so you're real people

513
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 2: back in with like the classics.

514
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,360
Speaker 3: You know, and then you go into the more current albums.

515
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 4: But do you.

516
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: Remember really well it started Dangerously in Love and I'm

517
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,760
Speaker 1: hugging Kadeen and she just put her head back and

518
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 1: rested her head back on my chest. Uh and like

519
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,120
Speaker 1: like she felt safe, like she finished.

520
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 4: That just got me in Like.

521
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,879
Speaker 2: It's crazy that you felt that, because I that's exactly

522
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 2: that's what you felt. Well I'm not surprised because we

523
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 2: be all you know, Unison in the line, but no,

524
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 2: that's exactly how I felt. I was like, wow, this

525
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 2: was a moment and that for nothing. When I was

526
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,879
Speaker 2: in Sweden, those two days and even a concert I

527
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 2: had gone to with one of my girlfriends, Tiffany years ago,

528
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 2: that you weren't at you kind of at a concert.

529
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 2: I want to have moments where you kind of love

530
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,199
Speaker 2: on your man and hug up. If you hear a

531
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 2: song that either reminds you of him or reminds you

532
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 2: of a moment, or is like one of your favorite

533
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,880
Speaker 2: love songs, it's like, Damn, I wish my man was here.

534
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 2: Like it's like going to a wedding without your spouse

535
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 2: or without you your person. It's like, Damn, everybody around

536
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,360
Speaker 2: here in love and my man ain't here, you know.

537
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 2: So that was a moment for me that I was like, Wow,

538
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,639
Speaker 2: we can really enjoy this together because it's familiar to

539
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 2: you and it's familiar to me.

540
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 4: Yeah.

541
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 1: I will say this too to all you single gentlemen

542
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 1: who are looking for a woman. The place to be

543
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 1: in your area if you are looking for some women next.

544
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 2: To a dead ass podcast live, Yes, next to that

545
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 2: as podcast live show, which is coming next year, buy

546
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 2: tickets to a Beyonce concert.

547
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 1: Because if I was single, I would have been up

548
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 1: in there. I would have stood up right in the middle,

549
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 1: right in the middle, like they took the inter mission.

550
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,640
Speaker 1: I'd have stood up and been like, Hey, my name

551
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,440
Speaker 1: is Daval, I'm in Ares.

552
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,199
Speaker 4: I like to take walks on.

553
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 2: The park, favorite colors, red YO credit score eight hundred.

554
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: I'm here if you need me, I would I'd say

555
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 1: I'm straight, just to let y'all know, because you have

556
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:01,320
Speaker 1: to let people know. The women are looking for men,

557
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 1: but the men that they see there, they don't expect

558
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,239
Speaker 1: them to be single straight men, you know what I'm saying, Like,

559
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 1: this is such a diverse crowd that you expect to

560
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,879
Speaker 1: see other people who are Beyonce fans. You don't expect

561
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 1: to hear, hear or see a group of straight men

562
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 1: at a Beyonce concert. But if they go, they will

563
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 1: find a queen.

564
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 2: Yo.

565
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 1: There was so many women. I have never seen that

566
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: many women in one spot.

567
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 2: It was like it was like a beautiful display of

568
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 2: blackness because there were so many black people there. Like

569
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 2: it's Atlanta, so what else are you gonna expect? It

570
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:36,440
Speaker 2: was a mixed crowd. Yes, but I'm let me tell you,

571
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,199
Speaker 2: black women, we were taught tier. They came out and

572
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 2: showed out the big time.

573
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 4: It was a lot. It was a lot of women.

574
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 3: It was.

575
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 1: There was a lot of kids in there too. I

576
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: could say kids, right, trouble the kids, I can say

577
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 1: the kids right.

578
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 3: The kids was outside.

579
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 4: They was dressed up too, dressed up. But that's but

580
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 4: that's also the difference.

581
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,119
Speaker 1: Most of the men you saw who were part of

582
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 1: the behive were dressed up, you know what I'm saying,

583
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 1: So you knew, like, oh that he's art to be high.

584
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 1: So for the straight men who were there with their girls,

585
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 1: they typically were dressed like I was dressed T shirt, yes, sneakers, you.

586
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 4: Know what I'm saying. So it was just a great space.

587
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 4: I'm telling you.

588
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 1: If there were men who were looking for women, bro,

589
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:14,680
Speaker 1: that's the place to do.

590
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 4: Was so women.

591
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:16,719
Speaker 1: Bro.

592
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, it was so much.

593
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 2: She's still on tour. I'm trying to figure out what's

594
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 2: the next city I'm going to?

595
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 4: What m Are you serious?

596
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 3: You see? I just threw that in there.

597
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 2: She's touring until the end of September early October.

598
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 4: Okay.

599
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,679
Speaker 1: I will say this though, after after the end of

600
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 1: the concert the next day Monday, I was like, damn,

601
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 1: I would I would go again.

602
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,920
Speaker 4: I will go again because that.

603
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 3: Went last night.

604
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 4: That's the lie.

605
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 3: I literally almost went last night.

606
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 4: God, you see what you see what.

607
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 3: I had to say? It was? You know, I didn't

608
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,239
Speaker 3: been like babe, I already got the tickets, all right.

609
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 4: So let's be honest.

610
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 1: Why I didn't say let's go is because I thought

611
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 1: Jackson had football practice.

612
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 3: Really, yes, I.

613
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:01,160
Speaker 4: Thought he had football practice.

614
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 1: If I don't look at the schedule, I would have

615
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 1: just been like, yo, let's go. But I thought Jackson

616
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 1: at football practice. And I wasn't going to miss his

617
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 1: football practice to go to the second Beyonce concert in

618
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:10,439
Speaker 1: two days.

619
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 3: So why not?

620
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 2: Because you would have been going to practice anyway on

621
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 2: Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday too.

622
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,400
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, he's our son, and I would think

623
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 1: that our son is more important than Beyonce.

624
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,479
Speaker 4: I mean what you mean, why not?

625
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 3: That's what they got a whole team of coaches for.

626
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,640
Speaker 4: You see what he'd have been. This is how people

627
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 4: think Beyonce fans go crazy.

628
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 3: But I'm just being serious listening.

629
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 4: That's crazy, it's wild.

630
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 2: It's by and I own it, like, I'm not going

631
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 2: to sit here and you could have went.

632
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 4: You could have went. I was not missing Jacksons football.

633
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 2: But you know what it was to also to I know,

634
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 2: like it's school day, school week rather you know, school day,

635
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 2: and I just wanted to be home and the podcast

636
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 2: crew was coming into town. We had to work early

637
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 2: this morning. Where I thought I was, I wasn't sure

638
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 2: what time we're gonna get started, so I was trying

639
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 2: to be responsible. But that just only means that we

640
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 2: can just fly to another city and see her.

641
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 4: I knew what it was coming. I knew it was coming.

642
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 2: Look, I a weekend, baby, like you really thoroughly enjoyed

643
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 2: enough to make it a week.

644
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 4: Because the week leading up to that that day was

645
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,639
Speaker 4: great for me. So we can do that. You know

646
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:09,160
Speaker 4: what I'm saying.

647
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 3: We can totally do that. I am down for that.

648
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 4: You can do that.

649
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 2: Let me see look look, look googles.

650
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,199
Speaker 1: I'll tell you another part of her set that was

651
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 1: impressive to me that had me super excited.

652
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 3: While I searched for the next city.

653
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 4: I want, what's the song when they keep going Love

654
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 4: on Top?

655
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:28,479
Speaker 2: Oh?

656
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, she dropped the mic and the whole stadium was

657
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,639
Speaker 1: singing Love on Top on the same key. That's the

658
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 1: video I made.

659
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, And they kept going.

660
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 4: They kept going, and they just kept going higher and all.

661
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 1: These people are now singers. Beyonce have made them feel.

662
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 2: Even if you couldn't sing like me, I am going

663
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 2: to belt at the top of my lungs and not

664
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 2: get that. I'm sure you did. And there's no shame

665
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 2: in my game. You got that. That's a fact.

666
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:01,399
Speaker 1: Yo, guys, she's legit. Looking up another time to go

667
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 1: see Beyonce. Guys, I am shents.

668
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 2: I'm looking at the calendar. You know why too, because

669
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 2: every show is not the same. Show one in Sweden

670
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 2: versus show two in Sweden were two completely different shows.

671
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 2: And then the only thing I had to compare it

672
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,919
Speaker 2: to now is Atlanta, which was top tier for me.

673
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 2: I beat Sweden out the park, and it could be

674
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 2: too because it was the first that's that's a fact

675
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:29,120
Speaker 2: that it's Atlanta. But I think Sweden was more reserved.

676
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,479
Speaker 3: The audience in general, they's little bit more reserved. They

677
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 3: actually sat in their seats for the show.

678
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 2: I was like, I just knew when I got the

679
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 2: two floor seat tickets for Deval, because I'm like, okay,

680
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 2: he may want to sit at some point. I already knew,

681
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 2: like everybody's standing around you, bro was not going to

682
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 2: be sitting, so you, you wouldn't have seen anything because

683
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 2: you didn't have people standing all around you. But the

684
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 2: energy was so different in Sweden versus versus Atlanta. And

685
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 2: then what I'm hearing from people who went to multiple

686
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 2: shows in Atlanta, even show one, two, and three in

687
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 2: Atlanta were all three different energies.

688
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 1: I can imagine because we do live shows, so yeah,

689
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: you know, the crowd if we make a show, depending

690
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 1: on what.

691
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 4: The energy is.

692
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 2: Absolutely I'm curious to know from her standpoint, which, if.

693
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: I had to be honest, I would say our show

694
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 1: Saturday would have to be one of the best because

695
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: just listen to me. If you went Friday right Friday,

696
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 1: you had to go to work all day, you came

697
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 1: home from work, you're a little bit tired. Saturday you

698
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 1: got a chance to do like me and Kadeen did.

699
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: You made a whole day about it. You started drinking

700
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 1: a little bit early, so you get to the show

701
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: already lit, and then you don't have to go to

702
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 1: work on Sunday, whereas Monday you had to go to work,

703
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: and then you had to go to work on Tuesday.

704
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: So I expect them to be as lit as it

705
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 1: was on Saturday. You know, Saturday was just an open

706
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 1: time where you can focus on only the show as possible.

707
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 1: But and this is gonna be the last thing I

708
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: say before we get to listen letters. I know listening

709
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 1: letters is also an important part of the show, of course,

710
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 1: but that experience with your girl right when you're there

711
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: and drunken love comes on and your girl can actually

712
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 1: be on you in that moment when the.

713
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 4: Music starts and it's everybody around.

714
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 1: It's like bro's watching your girl be excited about something

715
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: and you just being there in support of her just

716
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: opens her up in a different way. And watching you

717
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: go through that and enjoy it, but then turn around

718
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: and hug on me and jump on me and dance

719
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 1: on me. It was fun for me, like I had

720
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 1: a good time and I stay, I make jokes and say,

721
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 1: you know, I'm part of the behiv now, because I

722
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 1: really did not understand, like twenty five years of hits

723
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 1: and being one of the top performers, if not the

724
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 1: top performer at that time every time is like an

725
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,719
Speaker 1: astonishing feat. So to celebrate with someone go through all

726
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 1: of that music was amazing. I was like, dang, she

727
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: got mad hits. But also to celebrate that with your girl.

728
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 1: Was it was dope, like it was just it was fun.

729
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 1: I had a good time. After the concert, we went

730
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 1: back to the hotel. We were trying to find something

731
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: to eat. Couldn't find nothing to eat. So me and

732
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 1: Kate dial with me and Kate gonna do we Uber

733
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: eat some Big Max.

734
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. But we don't even eat McDonald's.

735
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 4: We don't, but we eat big masks. You know what

736
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 4: I'm saying.

737
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 3: And I'm not even gonna lie, like what's open. Yeah,

738
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 3: we're gonna get a big Mac.

739
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 2: Man.

740
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 4: We we uber eat some Big Max.

741
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 1: We sat there, got it in before the Big Max

742
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 1: came hat the big Mass, went to sleep, woke up

743
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: the next morning, Kate put on a leotard.

744
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 4: Again, got it in again.

745
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is the type of energy that you know.

746
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 1: Then we went to brunch, like like, let's be honest

747
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 1: as a as a guy, right, you have to enjoy that,

748
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 1: like you did something to make your girl feel special.

749
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 1: She had a great time. She enjoyed herself with the

750
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: energy that was there. Made her make you want to

751
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 1: feel special, right, you know what I'm saying.

752
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 3: And reciprocity.

753
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 4: It was good.

754
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 2: I knew going into it, like you've said that you

755
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 2: wanted me to be more intentional about our date nights

756
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 2: right days moving forward, because I make it very intentional

757
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 2: that like when I set up things with the boys

758
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 2: and I take them on the individual solo dates. You know,

759
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 2: Devo's like, damn, you really be going all out for

760
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 2: these boys. He's like, I want that same kind of energy.

761
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 2: So I'm like, yeah, but fine, And knowing going into

762
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 2: it that that wasn't necessarily something you wanted to do.

763
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 2: I was just really trying to be deliberate about how

764
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 2: I could make it enjoyable for you as well.

765
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 4: So well, shout out to you, yo, babe. You know

766
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 4: I'm saying shout.

767
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 2: Out to her performing in LA. So we're going to

768
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 2: be at a way whoa Labor Day weekend. We're going

769
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 2: to be a wedding and she's actually performing in California

770
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 2: Labor Day weekend.

771
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: When does Jackson have a football games?

772
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 4: Are you sure?

773
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 3: Well? He has a football game on that Saturday, But.

774
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 4: We're gonna fly Saturday night.

775
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, wedding Sunday, and the show is on Monday. We

776
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 3: fly home Tuesday. It's giving meant to be. I didn't

777
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 3: know about that.

778
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 4: We fly home Tuesday. Yes, Jackson got practiced that week though.

779
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we come home Tuesday.

780
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 1: I just listen, guys, I'm trying to be a parent.

781
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: You see, it's apparent that she don't care about being

782
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 1: a parent.

783
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 2: That's a lie because I booked our ticket after his

784
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 2: game on that Saturday. So don't try to throw me

785
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 2: under nobody bus.

786
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 4: We'll look.

787
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 3: Let's it's Beyonce's tour bus let the good Times role.

788
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, let's go take a break

789
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 1: so I can pay for these tickets. That's about it.

790
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: To happen again in September. We'll be back with listening letters.

791
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, back from our break, let's get into

792
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 2: listen to letters.

793
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 3: Let's focus and get back to that ass podcast. Enough,

794
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 3: talk about Beyonce the tour.

795
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 2: Writing in from Brooklyn, not a native, but been here

796
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 2: for almost eight years, so it's my adopted hometown originally

797
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 2: from Denver. Dope, Oh you upgrading, Welcome to Brooklyn, exactly,

798
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 2: You're welcome.

799
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 3: You're welcome.

800
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 2: I love your show and love your personalities as well

801
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 2: as the great work that you're doing.

802
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 3: Thank you.

803
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 2: So here's my situation. Then, question, I'm a black gay

804
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 2: male who recently realized I have a subconscious fear of

805
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 2: straight black men. Interesting Growing up, I was verbally bullied

806
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 2: for being feminine by men in my life brothers and

807
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 2: their friends for example, and others church members', school, etc.

808
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 2: This continued until I became an adult. Now that I'm

809
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,839
Speaker 2: much older and bigger, the bullying has stuffed. I don't

810
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 2: hope so because he's opened up a Canada, we'll bet. However,

811
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:34,319
Speaker 2: I still find myself having physical discomfort around heterosexual black men.

812
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 2: I have been lately pondering about the general state of

813
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 2: brotherhood between straight and black slash trans black men. The

814
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 2: recent murder of Osha Sibley in Brooklyn, as well as

815
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 2: recent experiences of verbal gay bashing personally. Although they've never

816
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 2: laid hands on me, as I stay ready, I hope

817
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 2: you do. Bro has triggered me feeling on defense whenever

818
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:01,880
Speaker 2: I'm in a setting with straight black men. We're supposed

819
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 2: to stay together as black folk, but sadly, money in

820
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 2: our community feel very uncomfortable peddling.

821
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 4: No very comfortable, oh sorry, feel.

822
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 2: Very comfortable pedaling in homophobia and transphobia without realizing how

823
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 2: damaging this is to the collective. My question is, what

824
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 2: are your thoughts about reconciling brotherhood between straight black men

825
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,319
Speaker 2: and gay slash trans black men.

826
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 3: Is it possible? Is this realistic?

827
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:26,839
Speaker 2: What are your conversation likes amongst your peers with lgbt

828
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 2: Q related issues when they come up. Also, as parents,

829
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 2: what are your thoughts in introducing the concept of LGBTQ

830
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 2: people to your children. I feel like educating and familiarizing

831
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,839
Speaker 2: children when they are young increases acceptance and inclusion when

832
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 2: they're older. Hopefully you'll read this letter. I definitely will

833
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 2: be listening. Of course, I know you got tons of these,

834
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 2: so if you, If not, you still have a lifelong

835
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 2: fan in me. God bless you, and God keep you,

836
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:54,799
Speaker 2: and God keep up the great work.

837
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:56,439
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

838
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 1: Well, the first thing, the first thing I'll say, is

839
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,919
Speaker 1: understand where he's coming from. If he's around my age,

840
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 1: I grew up not even knowing homophobia was a thing,

841
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,240
Speaker 1: because the way we spoke was just the way we spoke.

842
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: You had no idea that it was even considered homophobic,

843
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 1: and that was the norm.

844
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 4: Right.

845
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 1: So you grow up and you find out later on

846
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: in life that you have friends who engay their whole life,

847
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 1: and you're like, yo, why you didn't say nothing?

848
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,240
Speaker 4: And it's like, when was I supposed to say something?

849
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 1: Like all y'all did was make jokes and make fun

850
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 1: of people like I've never been I've never been with

851
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 1: a group of people or been around people who were

852
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 1: physically abusive, but we always made jokes or said things

853
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 1: because that was the culture, right, And even myself going

854
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,760
Speaker 1: to the Boys and Girls Club when I was in Morristown, Tennessee,

855
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 1: there was a divide, right. So I love performing arts,

856
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 1: so I used to sing and dance and do plays

857
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,240
Speaker 1: in the back, but I also played basketball in football,

858
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 1: and I remember making a decision to say, I'm going

859
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 1: to be good at sports because I love performing arts

860
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:00,840
Speaker 1: and I don't want people to make fun of me

861
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 1: thinking I'm gay. Because I remember there was a young

862
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: man at the Boys and Girls Club. I don't want

863
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 1: to say his name because you know, you might have

864
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 1: grew up, but he was really big into the arts,

865
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 1: and they made fun of him all the time, and

866
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 1: they used to do like pick on him and do

867
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 1: stuff to him, like like take his drink when he

868
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,359
Speaker 1: was at juice and do stuff like that. Until we

869
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,720
Speaker 1: all went through puberty, and he got just as big

870
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 1: and he put hands on somebody.

871
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, he said, that's that's it. You know what I'm

872
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:27,879
Speaker 4: saying now.

873
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,439
Speaker 1: I don't know whether he grew up to be gay

874
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 1: or not, but he was more feminine than the other guys.

875
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 1: And that doesn't always mean that you're gay, because I

876
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 1: have friends who grew up with just their moms, who

877
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 1: have feminine qualities, who love women, who are now with women,

878
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 1: but they just have feminine qualities because they grew up

879
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:46,399
Speaker 1: around nothing but women. But I remember watching that as

880
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 1: a young man and seeing that and making decisions about

881
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,760
Speaker 1: I got to play sports so that, you know, people

882
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 1: don't pick on me.

883
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:53,919
Speaker 4: So I can understand exactly where he's coming from.

884
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 1: And I've never I've never been gay a thought about

885
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: being gay, but I did also have that fear if

886
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 1: people think I'm sore, I'm going to be a target

887
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 1: to get picked on. So him now being out as

888
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 1: a full gay man, I understand where his fear comes from.

889
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 1: When it comes to our children, we had just a

890
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 1: quick story. Once again, I have friends who are members

891
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:18,800
Speaker 1: of the LGBTQ community.

892
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 2: When you move on to our children, I'm just going

893
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 2: to give a little bit of perspective about growing up

894
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 2: and the language and the jargon around it. Right, So

895
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 2: you grow up just innately hearing a song or saying

896
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 2: a phrase, and just because people say it and they

897
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 2: do it, you just figure like, oh, it's no big deal,

898
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 2: there's no harm done. One particular song, there's a reggae song,

899
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 2: Chit Chimune Yes love the song. When I was growing up,

900
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 2: would sing it all the time, but then I actually

901
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 2: stopped and well, listen to the lyrics, and it essentially

902
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 2: was talking about burning gay men, like killing them. And

903
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 2: now I refuse to listen to it for that reason

904
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 2: because I'm like my conscious you're more conscious of it. Right,

905
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 2: So when we're younger and we don't realize what we're

906
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 2: actually saying and doing and how it is perpetuating this

907
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:05,880
Speaker 2: hate for that particular community, then you decide now as

908
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,479
Speaker 2: an adult that and especially having, like you said, friends

909
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,959
Speaker 2: as an adult that you know are openly gay out there,

910
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 2: whether there's a man or a woman or trans like,

911
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 2: you know better and you do better.

912
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 3: So I know that.

913
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 2: We've also made that effort to include it with our

914
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,320
Speaker 2: children and to educate them on that world.

915
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And he made a great point He made a

916
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 1: great point about introducing it to your kids younger to

917
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:36,319
Speaker 1: just and humanizes them so that you can stop the hate, right,

918
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 1: because no one deserves to be murdered or bullied or

919
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 1: beat up or ostracized because of their own preference, Like,

920
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 1: no one deserves that right or just for who they are,

921
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 1: for who they are, Like that's just let's just be clear,

922
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: no one deserves that. And I remember Jackson had asked

923
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 1: some questions about it when he was in middle school

924
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 1: and he had made a comment about him and his friends.

925
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, because they're in that age now,

926
00:39:57,480 --> 00:39:59,800
Speaker 1: twelve thirteen, same thing. When you're a young at a

927
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 1: lit I sent boy, there comes a point when you

928
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,279
Speaker 1: get to this fork in the road where all my

929
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:07,239
Speaker 1: friends do this, all my friends say this, so we're

930
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 1: all doing this together and it's.

931
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 2: Just like lingo, like they'll say where it's like, oh,

932
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 2: that's that's that's zesty or that's that and it's like

933
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 2: what exactly do you mean by that? And we're the

934
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 2: parents now that will question that, Like you say the word,

935
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:17,959
Speaker 2: but what does that mean? Do you know what it means?

936
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 2: Do you know how you could potentially be offending somebody.

937
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 1: So yeah, so Jackson I made a comment about he

938
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,359
Speaker 1: had made a comment about something, and he was like, yeah,

939
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,359
Speaker 1: I don't We're not going to that because we don't

940
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,239
Speaker 1: want to be around at him and all his friends.

941
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 1: And we were just like, what do you mean you

942
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:33,279
Speaker 1: don't want to be around it. He was like, I

943
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: don't know my friends. He's like, we're not doing that

944
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 1: because we don't want to be around that. So then

945
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 1: I had made a point. I said, well, you know,

946
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 1: and one of my friends who's not out yet but

947
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,239
Speaker 1: he's clearly a homosexual man. I said, well, you know,

948
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 1: so and so is gay and Jackson was like, oh,

949
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 1: we're And I was like yeah, and I was like

950
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 1: and so and so, and Jackson was like, oh.

951
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 3: And so and so.

952
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 2: And we started listing a bunch of people who are

953
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 2: in close proximity to us, who we love, who are family.

954
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 1: To Jackson immediately was just like, oh, all right, well,

955
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 1: I guess it's fine then. And then when they came

956
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,240
Speaker 1: by the house, I had told them what had happened,

957
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 1: and the young man I'm talking about started to cry

958
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: a little bit because he's like, you're breaking a generational

959
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 1: curse of passing down that stigma that you don't want

960
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: to be around it. So then Jackson comes in the

961
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 1: room and he kind of the young man tightened up

962
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 1: a little bit because he didn't know how Jackson was

963
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 1: going to respond.

964
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:25,800
Speaker 4: Now to Jackson knows he's gay, and Jackson went was like,

965
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 4: what's up?

966
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 1: Gave him a pound or whatever, and he was just like,

967
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 1: it's that simple. Once you humanize something, it becomes easy. Yes,

968
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: but here is my question, right, because he said members

969
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 1: of the gay trans community, right. Part of it is

970
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:43,840
Speaker 1: also understanding if we don't understand, can we have civil

971
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 1: discourse without being labeled? You know what I'm saying, because

972
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 1: if I say something that I don't understand and I

973
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 1: ask a certain question, a lot of times, if you're

974
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:56,440
Speaker 1: a heterosexual man, you fear being labeled homophobic or transforming

975
00:41:56,520 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 1: because you ask a question and it happens lot of times.

976
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 1: We and I'll say we, because I'm a member of

977
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 1: the heterosexual community, are afraid to even engage in that conversation,

978
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:10,280
Speaker 1: in part because I just don't want to be labeled anything.

979
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 1: And when I speak to some of my friends, they're like, yo,

980
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:14,800
Speaker 1: I do have questions. I wonder how am I supposed

981
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: to navigate a move in this space, but if I

982
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,360
Speaker 1: say the wrong thing, now I'm labeled. So it's you

983
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: know what, I just won't say nothing. But you know what,

984
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 1: sometimes your silence makes you complicit in the destruction of

985
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 1: those people. When you say nothing, exactly what happens a

986
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 1: lot of times is you're creating this silence where you

987
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 1: won't even engage in conversation without labeling someone.

988
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:40,320
Speaker 4: I don't want to be labeled.

989
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 1: I don't want to be silent, but I don't know

990
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 1: how to move because I really don't want to hurt

991
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 1: anyone's feelings, you know.

992
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,360
Speaker 4: Shout out to Trouble, you know, our producer.

993
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 1: A lot of times when I'm wanting to discuss something,

994
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,440
Speaker 1: I ask her first, you know, because Trouble has made

995
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 1: it very clear to everyone that she's a member of

996
00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 1: the LGBTQ IA plus community. So I running by her

997
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: to make sure I'm not being offensive.

998
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 2: But and it really just comes from a place of

999
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 2: not knowing and not knowing rights, right, because you want

1000
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 2: to be able to have discourse with someone but not

1001
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 2: feel like they're then judging you or then labeling you

1002
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 2: as like, oh, he's asking this question because he might

1003
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 2: potentially not fuck with this community.

1004
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,759
Speaker 4: Right, but what if everyone doesn't have a trouble.

1005
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, or a safe space to be a safe space.

1006
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:23,359
Speaker 1: To discuss a lot of times the safe space isn't

1007
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 1: only created by a heterosexual man. There has to be

1008
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 1: a safe space created by a homosexual or trans man

1009
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,280
Speaker 1: so or a trans woman to be able to say

1010
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: this is how we move and why if there's no

1011
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:38,880
Speaker 1: safe space created by all parties, we won't ever be

1012
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 1: able to have discourse.

1013
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 4: You understand what I'm saying.

1014
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:43,919
Speaker 2: I think that may happen too, because some people from

1015
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 2: either community may just be very dismissive of even having

1016
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:50,240
Speaker 2: that discourse because they just don't feel like it exists

1017
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 2: or they don't feel like it's a real thing or

1018
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 2: that you know, it's almost like a made up thing, right.

1019
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 4: What you mean the safe space of discourse?

1020
00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:58,840
Speaker 2: No, the made up space of being trans or being

1021
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 2: you know, non binary, Like this is something that people

1022
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 2: actually live. This is actually the person dealing with this experience.

1023
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 2: I am non binary for this reason, and they may

1024
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 2: not even feel comfortable expressing why they feel like they

1025
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 2: are or no, and I shouldn't say that they don't

1026
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 2: feel comfortable expressing themselves because some people don't even believe

1027
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:18,919
Speaker 2: that that's a real thing.

1028
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 3: Some people just feel like you're supposed to be a

1029
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 3: man or a woman.

1030
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, it makes sense what you're saying.

1031
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is is he asked about having

1032
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 1: open discourse and discussion, and what I'm saying is is

1033
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:35,880
Speaker 1: that it's going to take all sides, not just heterosexual

1034
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 1: men being open to the discussion, because I've had I've

1035
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 1: been in rooms where people have been trying to have

1036
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 1: discussions and then when you ask questions, they get offended,

1037
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:50,880
Speaker 1: and then the finger pointing starts when you ask that

1038
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,399
Speaker 1: because you're homophobic. No, I ask that because I don't know.

1039
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 1: And it's like, I really don't want to offend you.

1040
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:59,399
Speaker 1: So since I don't want to offend you, just.

1041
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 2: Rather not even it's almost like not engaged in conversation

1042
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:04,240
Speaker 2: about religion, politics and things.

1043
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 1: Like that, because if you don't understand it, if you

1044
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 1: don't understand it, I really don't want to offend you,

1045
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 1: my brother, I don't, but I do have questions, and

1046
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 1: if my questions offend you, I'd rather not have questions.

1047
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 1: But then if I don't ask questions and you say

1048
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 1: I should try to get to know you. How can

1049
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: I get to know you without asking questions without offending you?

1050
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. So I think there's work

1051
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,360
Speaker 1: that needs to be done on both sides. Now, of course,

1052
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: every time you say this work that needs to be

1053
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 1: done on both sides, the first thing that's thought of is, well,

1054
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,760
Speaker 1: your side is the side that's violent to our side,

1055
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 1: which I agree. Like, if you understand the context of

1056
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 1: being a member of the lgbt QUI A plus community,

1057
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:47,280
Speaker 1: violence has been inflicted on that community from the heterosexual side,

1058
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: So I understand that they feel like we don't have

1059
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 1: to do as much work as you feel. If you

1060
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: understand the context of that, your heart softens because now

1061
00:45:57,160 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 1: it's not a me versus you.

1062
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 4: I'm still being this and I will be honest and

1063
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 4: say that.

1064
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 1: Help me understand how I can have a conversation without

1065
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: being labeled or without being given a title. That's now

1066
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 1: going to walk with me for the rest of my

1067
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 1: life because I didn't understand, because, like you said, if

1068
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 1: I didn't live in that lifestyle, how am I going

1069
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:19,760
Speaker 1: to know how to exist.

1070
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 4: In this lifestyle? Right?

1071
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 1: There was a clip house, There was a clip of

1072
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 1: Malik Yoba on the Breakfast Club and he had he

1073
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 1: said sis born a natural born women and he immediately

1074
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 1: was They was like, oh my god, see that's homophobic.

1075
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:36,359
Speaker 1: That's a microaggression because natural born is this. And I'm like,

1076
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,879
Speaker 1: if I haven't existed in that community, and I don't know,

1077
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,480
Speaker 1: I don't know the terms that you deem acceptable or

1078
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 1: not acceptable. So you know what I'd rather do. I'd

1079
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 1: rather just be quise, just not say anything.

1080
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 4: Don't want to offend you.

1081
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 1: Because we live in a day and age now, even

1082
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 1: if I accidentally offend you by asking a question, I

1083
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,719
Speaker 1: can be labeled homophobic, a tre phobic, and now the

1084
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 1: things that I'm trying to do in my life are

1085
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:07,440
Speaker 1: all superseded by the fact that, oh, that's transphobic or

1086
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 1: that's homophobic. Just ask the question. And it's scary. It's scary,

1087
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 1: especially with cancel culture. You know, it's scary to try

1088
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 1: to engage in those conversations. The same way it's scary

1089
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 1: to engage in conversations of men versus women. Right, we

1090
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 1: have battle of the sexist conversations all the time. If

1091
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 1: I ask a question or say something or give my

1092
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 1: opinion on something. Then it's like, oh, just say you

1093
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,920
Speaker 1: don't love women. It's like, I love women.

1094
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:34,960
Speaker 2: That is true, it's true, and in both sides cut

1095
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 2: at the knees before you even get to explain yourself.

1096
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:40,160
Speaker 1: If a woman says something, especially about a black man,

1097
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 1: it's just like, oh, you don't support black men. If

1098
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:44,439
Speaker 1: you say something to ask a question about black women,

1099
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 1: you don't support black women.

1100
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 4: And it's like I just asked the question, like you

1101
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,280
Speaker 4: know what I'm saying. If we're really going to have discourse,

1102
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 4: there needs to be an opening on all.

1103
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 2: It needs to be discourse where people can say their

1104
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 2: piece and they can be who they are, and we say, okay.

1105
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 3: Understand, either agree to disagree.

1106
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 2: You're not trying to get me to You're not trying to,

1107
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 2: you know, convince me of anything. I'm not coming from

1108
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:08,279
Speaker 2: a place of judgment either. It's just that here's how

1109
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 2: we do things. Here's how we do things. Okay, I

1110
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 2: get it?

1111
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:11,280
Speaker 4: Cool?

1112
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 3: You happy?

1113
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 2: You happy for people to co exist like that. And

1114
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 2: that's why when it comes to our children, we're very

1115
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 2: deliberate about deliberate about telling them that they need to

1116
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,800
Speaker 2: just respect all people and let people be who.

1117
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 3: They are you know?

1118
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 2: And I love that Jackson now after even having that conversation,

1119
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 2: will say to his friends, it's not cool to say that,

1120
00:48:30,719 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 2: Like Jackson has become that persons you know, all up

1121
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 2: inside his group chats and stuff on his phone. And

1122
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:39,320
Speaker 2: one definite, he's the one that does not take bullying.

1123
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:41,400
Speaker 2: Remember there was another kid building another kid in the

1124
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:41,879
Speaker 2: group chat.

1125
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 1: This wasn't even a sexual thing. It was they were

1126
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:47,320
Speaker 1: all on the football team or basketball. It was basketball

1127
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 1: at this point.

1128
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, nothing to do with homophobia.

1129
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:51,880
Speaker 4: They were debating about sports teams.

1130
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 1: It would be about sports teams and it was like, oh,

1131
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,960
Speaker 1: you keep switching teams, and then it was just a constant.

1132
00:48:56,640 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 2: Name calling, right, and the kid didn't chill. So Dad

1133
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:04,399
Speaker 2: Jackson just the screwp chat like, we're not doing that.

1134
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:07,359
Speaker 1: Over here here to hear to his question, I think

1135
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 1: we can have civil discourse, but all sides have to

1136
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:10,839
Speaker 1: be open and willing.

1137
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 2: To yes, super open minded about it too as well.

1138
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:14,240
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening.

1139
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 3: Thank you, appreciate you, Thank you. Lovia number two. Oh,

1140
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:20,320
Speaker 3: this one's a shorter one.

1141
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 4: Mister and missus Ellis. I have nothing but mad respect

1142
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 4: for the both of you. Thank you. We appreciate you

1143
00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 4: as well. I love listening to the podcast.

1144
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 1: It brings me peace knowing I can have something to

1145
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,959
Speaker 1: listen to while at work on the way home, knowing

1146
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 1: the information that has talked about is very knowledgeable.

1147
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:35,319
Speaker 4: Thank you so much.

1148
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:37,840
Speaker 2: We would just be over here chatting, but okay, we.

1149
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 4: Work hard trying to give y'all something positive. I love

1150
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 4: that I just became a fan. I just became a

1151
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:43,560
Speaker 4: first time dad.

1152
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: Oh this is two guys back to back, and I

1153
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 1: just want to know what's the best way to be

1154
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 1: supportive for my wife and help her be able to

1155
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 1: get back on her feet. And do y'all have any

1156
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:53,840
Speaker 1: suggestions on a good way to take her on a

1157
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 1: quick getaway to help her relax and recover from getting

1158
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 1: ambushed by everyone.

1159
00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 4: It's the first thing.

1160
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 2: Let me copy it past all of the is next

1161
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:03,120
Speaker 2: show is coming up, so that way you can she

1162
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:04,399
Speaker 2: can get fluid out for a week.

1163
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 1: And maybe I'm gonna give you one not kidding piece

1164
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 1: of advice. Listen to your wife. And as I'm saying that,

1165
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let my wife tell you how you can

1166
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 1: help her, and then once she's done, I'll piggyback off

1167
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 1: of that, but the first thing is listen to her.

1168
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I think the biggest thing for a first time

1169
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 2: mom and dad.

1170
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 3: With the mom, it's a.

1171
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,840
Speaker 2: Mixed thing because it's like you you want help and

1172
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:29,959
Speaker 2: you need help, but you don't necessarily want to ask

1173
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 2: for help because you don't want to be a burden.

1174
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 2: For example, the baby, I really would love to just

1175
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 2: get a couple hours of sleep, but I don't want

1176
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:38,960
Speaker 2: to leave my baby because if I leave for a

1177
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 2: couple hours, I don't know what's gonna happen.

1178
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 3: To this baby, you know.

1179
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:43,759
Speaker 2: So there's that battle between wanting to try to do

1180
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 2: and be everything for the baby in that moment, but

1181
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,799
Speaker 2: then also knowing like I need a break. So I

1182
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:51,879
Speaker 2: would say, as a first time dad, anticipate the things

1183
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:56,760
Speaker 2: that she may need. Anticipate the small, daunting, tedious, mundane,

1184
00:50:56,880 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 2: everyday tasks that she would normally take care of. That

1185
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:03,480
Speaker 2: now you can either outsource and bring in family to help,

1186
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 2: or you can do You will be surprised how far

1187
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 2: a clean load of laundry, folded and put away can go,

1188
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 2: how far a meal can go, how far a hey,

1189
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:15,360
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take the baby for two hours, so you

1190
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 2: can take a nap because if she's breastfeeding, she's up

1191
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 2: every two hours anyway. But it's really just reassuring her

1192
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:22,920
Speaker 2: and letting her know that, yo, these things don't have

1193
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:24,719
Speaker 2: to be taken care of, so you can heal and

1194
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:28,799
Speaker 2: you can take time to be in recovery and take

1195
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:30,960
Speaker 2: care of yourself, because a lot of times, first time

1196
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 2: they're going to be asking about the baby. Everyone is

1197
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 2: gonna be like, let me see the baby, how's.

1198
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:35,439
Speaker 3: The baby doing?

1199
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:39,280
Speaker 2: And then my kind of falls by the wayside. So you, dad,

1200
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:42,000
Speaker 2: that's your role of course, while doting over baby and

1201
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 2: helping to take care of baby. I love that he's

1202
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 2: writing in because he sees that the focus should be

1203
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:51,759
Speaker 2: on getting his woman back up to speed. Suggestions for

1204
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 2: a good way to take her for a quick getaway.

1205
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:56,279
Speaker 2: I mean it could even just be a quick if

1206
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:57,880
Speaker 2: you want to get her out of the house. It

1207
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 2: can be a spa date, it can be a dinner date.

1208
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:02,839
Speaker 2: It could be something as simple as that, or if

1209
00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:05,640
Speaker 2: she's not comfortable leaving the house yet, just having Grandma

1210
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:08,400
Speaker 2: or somebody come to oversee the baby while maybe you

1211
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:11,719
Speaker 2: bring home you know, in home missuits, you know, so

1212
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:13,839
Speaker 2: that she can just get away for a little bit

1213
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 2: and get taken care of. There's so many different things

1214
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:17,880
Speaker 2: that you can do. What are some things that you

1215
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:20,799
Speaker 2: did when well, he's baby, because we had four of them,

1216
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 2: so there was so many things that I had.

1217
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 1: This is the very first thing that no one ever

1218
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:30,240
Speaker 1: talks talks about. Right, you have to prepare your wife

1219
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:32,880
Speaker 1: or the mother of your child before the baby comes,

1220
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 1: to be prepared to let other people help with the child.

1221
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:38,440
Speaker 1: You have to prepare them so that when the baby comes,

1222
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:42,320
Speaker 1: they can rest. The biggest issue with having a newborn

1223
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:43,240
Speaker 1: is sleep deprivation.

1224
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,359
Speaker 4: I say this all the time. I said it at

1225
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 4: the live show.

1226
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:50,360
Speaker 1: One of my friends Navy seal said the biggest training,

1227
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 1: the biggest part of training that they struggled with the

1228
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:56,520
Speaker 1: most was learning how to be efficient while sleep deprived.

1229
00:52:56,880 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 1: They made them stay awake I think it was eighteen

1230
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:02,960
Speaker 1: hours and after being awake for eighteen hours, had them

1231
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 1: go through a whole bunch of stuff and people were discombobulated,

1232
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 1: didn't know how to use their weapons. A lot of

1233
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:11,239
Speaker 1: guys quit, super emotional, couldn't make good decisions. I said, wow,

1234
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're pregnant, but it may be realized

1235
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 1: that pregnancy comes with hormonal changes, but sleep deprivation on

1236
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:21,840
Speaker 1: top of hormonal changes, you're not gonna be next to

1237
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:24,640
Speaker 1: the person that you knew. That's why so many couples

1238
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:28,280
Speaker 1: end up getting divorced or end up separating after kids,

1239
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:30,000
Speaker 1: because sleep deprivation is.

1240
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:31,600
Speaker 4: Real, and it's not only for mom.

1241
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:35,360
Speaker 1: You know who else has to get rest, dad, Because

1242
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 1: most of the time, if your dad, like you rolled

1243
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 1: in here, that means when your wife gets up, you're

1244
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 1: gonna get up as well. When that baby cries, you're

1245
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:43,719
Speaker 1: gonna cry, but you also have to go back to work.

1246
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:45,799
Speaker 3: When the baby you're gonna cry, You're gonna cry.

1247
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:48,399
Speaker 4: I cry too every time. When Jackson was first born,

1248
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 4: when Jacks cried, I was like, he was just crying,

1249
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:54,279
Speaker 4: like to the half hours. I gotta glory to the jam

1250
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 4: and then I'm going to be up.

1251
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:58,680
Speaker 1: I'm looking all day and he's crying out out crying,

1252
00:53:58,800 --> 00:53:59,720
Speaker 1: not your mother crying.

1253
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, I just got twenty seven stitches in my cervix.

1254
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:05,880
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear about your crying.

1255
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:06,520
Speaker 2: Bro.

1256
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 1: Make sure you find time to get rest as well,

1257
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 1: because you know who else gets super emotional after babies. Men,

1258
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 1: We don't talk about this. Men get emotional because of

1259
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:19,239
Speaker 1: sleep deprivation. Imagine two sleep deprived people dealing with a

1260
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:20,399
Speaker 1: child for the first time.

1261
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:21,000
Speaker 3: That's the fact.

1262
00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:22,600
Speaker 2: And I know what this child is because this child

1263
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 2: is not communicating with you at a bone. And then

1264
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 2: also too, he says, how did we recover from getting

1265
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:28,640
Speaker 2: ambushed by everyone?

1266
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:30,399
Speaker 4: I'm about to I'm about to tell you it's okay.

1267
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 4: Maybe you asked me what I'm about to tell I

1268
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:33,839
Speaker 4: mean you.

1269
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 3: Want to go.

1270
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 2: I spoke about bringing in help, but also I want

1271
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:40,439
Speaker 2: I was about to go. Sometimes you have to set

1272
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:42,359
Speaker 2: boundaries and you have to say, you know what, we're

1273
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 2: not accepting any help other than maybe a mother or

1274
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,919
Speaker 2: a sister or an aunt now is coming to help.

1275
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:50,480
Speaker 2: It's okay to have boundaries with people visiting.

1276
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 1: Yes, but I'm na speak from a dad's standpoint, because

1277
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 1: it's hard for moms at that point to set boundaries

1278
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:57,760
Speaker 1: because moms are tired of sleep deprived. They know everyone

1279
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 1: to see the baby as the protector and provide. You

1280
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:03,799
Speaker 1: have to set boundaries for all of those people, your

1281
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:08,040
Speaker 1: wife's friends, your wife's siblings, your siblings. You have to

1282
00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 1: set boundary to be like, hey, this is my wife.

1283
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:12,399
Speaker 1: This is what she needs. If you want to this

1284
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:14,840
Speaker 1: is what I did. You want to help create a schedule.

1285
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:15,520
Speaker 4: Right.

1286
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:18,800
Speaker 1: When you create a schedule, the schedule allows that everyone

1287
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 1: can see her, but they don't come.

1288
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 4: At the same time.

1289
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 3: The same time yep, right, And.

1290
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:25,040
Speaker 4: Then you have certain people online in there that this

1291
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:25,800
Speaker 4: person comes.

1292
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:28,359
Speaker 1: I know my wife's gonna sleep when my wife's mom

1293
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:31,319
Speaker 1: will come over, When my mom will come over, her

1294
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:33,760
Speaker 1: sister will come over. I knew that those were people

1295
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,880
Speaker 1: that kuld Dean trusted. So when they came over, I

1296
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 1: would take the baby and I'd be like yo yo.

1297
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 1: I just literally would mushir in the bed and I

1298
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:43,879
Speaker 1: would take the baby and I'd be like yo, ma here,

1299
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:46,800
Speaker 1: I would get into bed with her. We would cuddle

1300
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:50,239
Speaker 1: ourselves to sleep, because you also need that get.

1301
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:50,839
Speaker 4: Back to each other.

1302
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:53,799
Speaker 1: Yes, and it's not a sexuble thing real, but the

1303
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 1: oxytocin is real. When a woman feels protected and covered

1304
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:59,200
Speaker 1: because their child's father is behind them and they can

1305
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 1: cuddle and sleep in bed, they wake up feeling a

1306
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:04,799
Speaker 1: lot better. Yes, and your grandmother was the one who

1307
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 1: used to come grab the baby and just be like

1308
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:10,839
Speaker 1: y'all to stay sleep that helped us so much.

1309
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 2: She would barely hear a whimper, and she'd be in

1310
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,279
Speaker 2: the room with going with the baby. It was like

1311
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 2: that episode of the Cosmme Show. At one point I

1312
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,239
Speaker 2: was like, where's the baby? Me to that woke up,

1313
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:20,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, where the baby going?

1314
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:21,839
Speaker 4: You know, I knew where they went.

1315
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:24,040
Speaker 2: There was such a good sleep though, that I almost

1316
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:25,800
Speaker 2: like forgot the fact that I had a baby.

1317
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, the house.

1318
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:29,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, So set up a schedule and be like, oh,

1319
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 2: best friends such and such wants to come by and

1320
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:32,480
Speaker 2: you want to come out. Great, can you come by

1321
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:35,360
Speaker 2: and bring breakfast, bring breakfast, coffee, bagels, whatever.

1322
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:36,000
Speaker 3: Great?

1323
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 2: Oh, such as us wants to come by, Well, you're

1324
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 2: gonna leave for breakfast, Come and bring some lunch, be

1325
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:42,280
Speaker 2: prepared to make dinner, Come do a load of laundry.

1326
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,960
Speaker 2: Assist us in this way absolutely, and is the best

1327
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:46,319
Speaker 2: thing that you can do for her.

1328
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:49,319
Speaker 4: Yo, don't be afraid to ask people for help.

1329
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:51,880
Speaker 1: And here's the last part, because the question he asked

1330
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:56,000
Speaker 1: getaways our first getaway, because remember we was broke as

1331
00:56:56,360 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 1: fuck when we just had Jackson, right, our first get

1332
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:06,239
Speaker 1: away was Jackson was four months made June July three

1333
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:10,920
Speaker 1: months and we had our wedding anniversary. We had an

1334
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:17,480
Speaker 1: overnight staycation downtown Manhattan. It was beautiful. It was beautiful.

1335
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 4: Her mom took the baby, had the baby overnight. This

1336
00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:24,160
Speaker 4: was the first time Kadeen was away from him for overnight.

1337
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 4: She cried at dinner. You allow her to cry at dinner.

1338
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 4: This was after the sixth week mark, so we knew

1339
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:32,440
Speaker 4: we was going to get it in. But it was

1340
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 4: really just about her saying, look, babe, the baby is

1341
00:57:35,840 --> 00:57:39,320
Speaker 4: going to be fine. Get dressed up, look as nice

1342
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 4: as you can, feel like yourself. Let's go out. We

1343
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 4: didn't go see a show. We just stayed in the hotel.

1344
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:50,640
Speaker 4: We went to dinner. We went to dinner, and we

1345
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:53,200
Speaker 4: just chilled. It was July. We walked.

1346
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 3: We had to reconnect a little bit.

1347
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:57,560
Speaker 1: We re reconnect. We walked Promena. Yeah, we walked to Promenade.

1348
00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 1: So everything it doesn't have to be super expensive. The

1349
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:03,040
Speaker 1: getaway doesn't have to be a huge getaway, but the

1350
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 1: getaway is the get away from the baby. Okay, I'm

1351
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:10,720
Speaker 1: gonna be I am a huge proponent of telling people

1352
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 1: that women have a lot of separation anxiety from their

1353
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:17,160
Speaker 1: baby because their babies in their stomach, and I understand

1354
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 1: that I.

1355
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 2: Have it to this day when my kids walking out

1356
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:22,439
Speaker 2: the door to school, I'm literally praying every day over

1357
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:24,960
Speaker 2: all three of them, because I'm like, I cannot protect

1358
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 2: them any longer.

1359
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:26,479
Speaker 4: You can't.

1360
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 2: Dakota is so attached to me, I think he wants

1361
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:33,880
Speaker 2: to go back in and I would gladly let him

1362
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:34,680
Speaker 2: at this point because.

1363
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:37,640
Speaker 4: I'm the only person going back in there. Yep.

1364
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 1: That's a fact. Yep, that's a fact. Now things can

1365
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:43,640
Speaker 1: come out of there. As we say, four four guys

1366
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:46,479
Speaker 1: have come out of there, is going in.

1367
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:47,880
Speaker 3: There for the rest of the time.

1368
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:55,240
Speaker 1: With them chores, get some sleep for yourself, yes, and

1369
00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:57,120
Speaker 1: just love on her as much and keep reminding her

1370
00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 1: how beautiful she is while her body's going through.

1371
00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 3: Change and get it gets better. We're proving all right, y'all.

1372
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 2: If you want to be featured as a listener letter,

1373
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:08,880
Speaker 2: it's not too late. The season is still going. We

1374
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:10,919
Speaker 2: have another season coming up for you guys. Be sure

1375
00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:14,280
Speaker 2: you email us at dead Ass Advice at gmail dot

1376
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:16,480
Speaker 2: com because y'all always come through with the bomb stories

1377
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 2: and letters.

1378
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 4: Yes, ma'am, or yes sir, that's d E A D

1379
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:22,760
Speaker 4: A s. S A. D v I C. E at

1380
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 4: gmail dot com.

1381
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:25,600
Speaker 3: All right, moment of truth time.

1382
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:30,080
Speaker 2: We're talking about Deyonce recap devous Beyonce experience for the

1383
00:59:30,120 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 2: Renaissance tour.

1384
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 3: What's your moment of truth? Baby, my moon?

1385
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:36,240
Speaker 1: The truth is simple. I had a good time. It

1386
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 1: was way grander than I thought it was going to be.

1387
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 1: The music was amazing, her performances were amazing. Watching you

1388
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:45,920
Speaker 1: perform all of her performances were amazing, and watching you

1389
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 1: perform later on that night was amazing.

1390
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 3: So that was amazing. I love that for you. I

1391
00:59:49,800 --> 00:59:50,240
Speaker 3: love that for you.

1392
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:52,200
Speaker 2: I get my moment of truth outside of Beyonce, because

1393
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:55,440
Speaker 2: y'all already know love the girl and her music. But

1394
00:59:55,520 --> 00:59:57,920
Speaker 2: it was just really me feeling like I had a

1395
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:02,960
Speaker 2: moment of growth where being deliberate about making sure that

1396
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 2: your spouse enjoys moments that could essentially be just for

1397
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:08,760
Speaker 2: you and making it an experience for both of you

1398
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:11,440
Speaker 2: is so important. Be Like, even think about Kadeen a

1399
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 2: couple of years ago, like like ten years ago, for example,

1400
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 2: my focus would have been all online, getting my hair done,

1401
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:18,320
Speaker 2: get my makeup done, get my off together, all that,

1402
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:19,600
Speaker 2: and then I probably would have went back to the

1403
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:21,360
Speaker 2: hotel and fell asleep, when you'd have been like damn,

1404
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 2: Like I really just came along as an accessory to

1405
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 2: this experience, where instead, this time I was very deliberate

1406
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:31,240
Speaker 2: about making sure that Deval would be able to enjoy

1407
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:33,600
Speaker 2: the experience too and make it feel like it was

1408
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:35,760
Speaker 2: for him too, And we get it together and we

1409
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:38,280
Speaker 2: had a great time and I can't wait for the

1410
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:44,520
Speaker 2: next show. Yeah. On that note, be sure to find

1411
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:48,160
Speaker 2: us on Patreon. You guys have been subscribing lately. It's

1412
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:49,880
Speaker 2: been awesome too because we've been able to get you

1413
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 2: guys more content, and that is the plan to continue

1414
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:54,439
Speaker 2: to roll that out. So if you have not subscribed yet,

1415
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:57,280
Speaker 2: subscribe to Patreon you where you can see exclusive dead

1416
01:00:57,280 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 2: Ass podcast video content and more of the Ellis family.

1417
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:02,919
Speaker 2: And you can find us on social media at dead

1418
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:03,800
Speaker 2: Ass the podcast.

1419
01:01:04,240 --> 01:01:06,160
Speaker 3: I'm Kadeine I am and I Am Devout.

1420
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:10,360
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review, subscribe,

1421
01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:12,440
Speaker 1: and also pick up your copy of We Over Me,

1422
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 1: The Counterintuitive Approach to getting Everything you need to do

1423
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 1: your relationship, and.

1424
01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 3: Leave us that beautiful five star review because we know

1425
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 3: you love it.

1426
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 4: So much, all the.

1427
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:21,120
Speaker 3: Gems in there.

1428
01:01:21,520 --> 01:01:22,240
Speaker 4: Dead Ass.

1429
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:28,920
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network, and

1430
01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:32,720
Speaker 1: it's produced by Donorpina and Triple. Follow the podcast on

1431
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:35,480
Speaker 1: social media at dead Ass the Podcast and never miss

1432
01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:35,920
Speaker 1: a Thing