Speaker 1: I leave in I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage
Speaker 1: you claim and.
Speaker 2: Give us time and a terminol and gay aid.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off insta.
Speaker 2: We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. Re scared her? Was it fine? Malborn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do your need to ride? Ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need with Karen and Chris welcome to Do
Speaker 3: you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: And this is Karen Kilgareth.
Speaker 3: We're in a car right now.
Speaker 1: It's happening. Guys.
Speaker 3: I've been so excited and it's so far lived up
Speaker 3: to the hype.
Speaker 2: I've been excited, but I'm the one that always has
Speaker 2: to warn and be like careful and be like the
Speaker 2: one that's like, we can't do it now because of
Speaker 2: this and that. But that has nothing to do with
Speaker 2: the level of wanting to be in the car.
Speaker 3: I'm happy to hear you say that, because I wasn't
Speaker 3: sure if you wanted.
Speaker 2: I wanted and have since COVID began, since the first
Speaker 2: cough of covid uh splattered all over California. I was like,
Speaker 2: get us back in that car. That's where our personal
Speaker 2: brand of comedy magic happens.
Speaker 1: And we're back.
Speaker 3: I'm so much less liable to repeat myself because when
Speaker 3: I see it coming, when I start thinking about my cat,
Speaker 3: that's right, when a biker will cut in front of.
Speaker 1: Us, I'll slap my hand against your.
Speaker 3: Chest out of safety.
Speaker 1: Safety is not repeating yourself.
Speaker 3: It's so weird. You don't realize you miss things until
Speaker 3: they're gone. And you treating me like a book bad
Speaker 3: the book bag that might spill everywhere is such a
Speaker 3: heartwarming since the first time you did it, I mean.
Speaker 1: How long have we been doing this, bug jaut? Do
Speaker 1: you have the night?
Speaker 3: I'm just going to start saying a decade?
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, eight years, eight or nine.
Speaker 3: It might be a decade.
Speaker 1: It might be because it's been a while. And this
Speaker 1: is the very road we first started, is it Ventura,
Speaker 1: We were coming the other way.
Speaker 3: I was traumatized because of a story that I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna tell again, a bit of a car happening and
Speaker 3: we were in the same model. Yeah, the memories they're
Speaker 3: coming back. The Honda fit days yes, and and here
Speaker 3: we aren't a much safer vehicle. And it's so quiet,
Speaker 3: it's studio quiet. It's in here.
Speaker 2: I said, when I was car shopping on the Auto.
Speaker 3: Wall studio on wheels, I said, I.
Speaker 2: Need a sound per vehicle. Can I have this same
Speaker 2: car that? I can't think of anything that records in
Speaker 2: a car besides us.
Speaker 3: And yes, and that's.
Speaker 1: And John Daily and John Tall John's podcasts.
Speaker 3: There are many, now, yes, are there? It seems like, well,
Speaker 3: there's the famous Seinfeld one, but he's in like old
Speaker 3: you know, steam powered engine cars and everything you know
Speaker 3: from the sixties. There's no way that's gotta be like,
Speaker 3: that's got to be like. That's one thing we have
Speaker 3: on that possibly more famous recording is quality.
Speaker 2: Yes, and thanks to Onalise for providing that quality of
Speaker 2: sound on.
Speaker 3: Aalise in the back seat.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 3: Thank you for being had.
Speaker 1: Listen. That sounded very facetious. I'm sorry. This truly is
Speaker 1: a dream come true. But that also sounds fastious.
Speaker 2: It's hard not to sound facetious when we talk these days.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, anytime I say something genuine, it will be
Speaker 3: easily confused for sarcasm. But I'm very happy.
Speaker 1: We're doing this me too. And also, you know, I
Speaker 1: was on vacation for basically a.
Speaker 2: Month last month, and so I haven't been in Los Angeles,
Speaker 2: and I think you understand that feeling of when you
Speaker 2: leave LA, you don't appreciate LA when you're here. LA
Speaker 2: when you're here, not you personally, everybody kind of hates
Speaker 2: it all the time. Yeah, you go away and you
Speaker 2: go to other places, and then you come back and
Speaker 2: you're like, no, I like it here.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I mean you were in Italy. I was
Speaker 3: in Italy, which is much more It's a.
Speaker 1: Lot better than LA.
Speaker 3: Yeah, hands down. Yeah, I was in New York. But
Speaker 3: the same thing I do appreciate here. I do like
Speaker 3: being able to just get in a car and not
Speaker 3: on a metro train. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we I mean, there's just there's positives. Here's the
Speaker 2: thing I'll tell you about Italy that was one of
Speaker 2: the funniest, slash death defying, scariest things when we were
Speaker 2: in cars. Italian drivers treat the road like it's a
Speaker 2: one way street going their way until a car comes,
Speaker 2: and then they just move over about three quarters of
Speaker 2: an inch and it is truly one of the garious,
Speaker 2: most insane things I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: They never crash. They tailgate each other like on the highway,
Speaker 1: right up against each other's bumpers, and that's just how it's.
Speaker 2: They're very aggressive drivers and they're also very they get
Speaker 2: they know how much space is on the outside of
Speaker 2: their car, and they don't. The roads aren't wide enough
Speaker 2: to move over any.
Speaker 3: Further and right, they're all narrow. Right, that's a European there,
Speaker 3: I mean, that was my experience in Spain and in England, yes.
Speaker 2: Because it's all kind of old, and you know, they're
Speaker 2: basically based on what the Roman soldiers built when they
Speaker 2: were coming through, unlike La where it's all it was
Speaker 2: all built about two months ago.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, this road is about two months old. It's
Speaker 3: a very young road.
Speaker 1: It's young and it's wide, and I appreciate the space
Speaker 1: we have here in California. Anyway, it was just kind
Speaker 1: of funny.
Speaker 2: There was a couple of times where we truly thought
Speaker 2: we were gonna die, but our drivers were so they
Speaker 2: handled shits so well. They there was one guy that
Speaker 2: he was driving through the mountains, uh like truly very
Speaker 2: steep mountainous roads and he was. It was a stick
Speaker 2: shift van and he was texting, so he was shifting
Speaker 2: with his left hand. He'd reach over and shift while
Speaker 2: he was texting with his right hand.
Speaker 3: You know, I appreciate multitasking.
Speaker 2: I mean, he could really do it. He was a
Speaker 2: real argument for men multitasking.
Speaker 3: I'm just not I don't think I'll ever be there.
Speaker 3: I have to limit my expectations of myself because I'm
Speaker 3: a full grown adult. I don't know that I'll ever
Speaker 3: get better at juggling different things while driving.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, don't do any of that. Don't just focus,
Speaker 1: just focus.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, there must be a reason that all those
Speaker 3: race car drivers are from Italy. Yeah, they're all adept.
Speaker 3: That's a blanket statement. I'm sorry. I think it's a
Speaker 3: driver from Italy and it's like, what about me? Me out?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but you know what, those people aren't stepping
Speaker 2: forward because they'd never admit it, because they're a prideful people.
Speaker 2: It's one of the many things I loved about them.
Speaker 2: It's such a wonderful country.
Speaker 3: What about the food. Did you enjoy the food?
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't love the food. No, just kidding,
Speaker 1: it was unbelievable.
Speaker 3: Well, I heard that when you go get into like
Speaker 3: an Italian sausage, it's very related to a hot dog.
Speaker 3: Is that true?
Speaker 1: Well, no, I don't think so.
Speaker 3: There's been americanized and what we know.
Speaker 2: Okay, No, you were talking to someone who went to
Speaker 2: a baseball game stoned.
Speaker 1: I think right, and they thought they were they had.
Speaker 3: Misconstructions with Italian friend.
Speaker 2: Yes, they didn't go to Italy. They just hung out
Speaker 2: with a guy from Brooklyn, probably.
Speaker 3: Well in Italy. What was the what was the thing
Speaker 3: that stands out the most?
Speaker 2: Well, I was it was a thing that I was
Speaker 2: very surprised happened because I'm just not this person, never
Speaker 2: have been. I got completely hit on in the street
Speaker 2: in a way that I couldn't stop laughing because I
Speaker 2: was like, I don't know the lines for this part.
Speaker 1: I'm never this person. And there it was like this
Speaker 1: guy came out.
Speaker 2: Of nowhere and basically told me he wanted to get
Speaker 2: to know me. And it was one and he was
Speaker 2: beautiful and Italian. He looked like a soccer player and
Speaker 2: it was so to know you. I know, but I
Speaker 2: first of all didn't speak Italian, he didn't really speak English.
Speaker 2: He knew these phrases like I just want to know
Speaker 2: you and how long are you here? And I couldn't
Speaker 2: stop laughing because I was just like, I just didn't
Speaker 2: I couldn't believe it was happening.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's cartoon initially, what you've see in movies or
Speaker 3: TikTok videos exactly, you will be swept off your feet
Speaker 3: by someone on the street.
Speaker 2: Yes, And I was kind of like, I just wasn't prepared.
Speaker 2: If I could do it again, I would do it
Speaker 2: very differently. But it was also just funny because it
Speaker 2: was he was very like, you can tell it's something
Speaker 2: he does a lot. It's like he's probably working that
Speaker 2: part of the street that's not where it really is.
Speaker 3: Someone's eventually going to say yes.
Speaker 1: Right, which I respect in a way.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I was kind of thinking I would be
Speaker 2: seeing it happen too, because there's a million Americans there.
Speaker 2: There's lots of like groups of young women with their
Speaker 2: friends having the time of their life. And so I
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, sure, that's great, this is I would
Speaker 2: love to witness it. And then I got some up
Speaker 2: close and it was a real you know, I got
Speaker 2: my groove back. It was a real huge compliment and
Speaker 2: you kind of can't pay for an experience like that,
Speaker 2: or you can, but I wouldn't.
Speaker 3: Is that just something that very rarely happens here? Because
Speaker 3: when I was in New York, that's my only comparison
Speaker 3: my European trip to New York. I found that I
Speaker 3: was having a lot of open, friendly interactions in a
Speaker 3: place where you know, historically you're supposed to like, hey,
Speaker 3: fuck you, fuck nuts stuff like that. And I made
Speaker 3: friends everywhere I went. Yeah, I'm like, is it me?
Speaker 3: Am I acting different? And I'm more approachable here, I
Speaker 3: feel like and not the way we just said, we
Speaker 3: love it where we live, but I do feel like
Speaker 3: you're this is the place where you're least liable to
Speaker 3: get approached.
Speaker 2: Yes, in the street, I think this, Yes, there's no
Speaker 2: love in the streets here. I think this is a
Speaker 2: tough town to be open in or have like a
Speaker 2: big smile on your.
Speaker 3: Face in right right big eye contact.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But you know, it's funny.
Speaker 2: I've always found New York to be like that, where
Speaker 2: people I think because people are smashed together, they get
Speaker 2: along better. And it's like here people think they're supposed
Speaker 2: to act stuck up, so they do.
Speaker 1: Whereas New York. It's like people will start asking. They'll
Speaker 1: be like, hey, should I buy this for my girlfriend.
Speaker 2: In like the aisle at CVS, And then you get
Speaker 2: into a conversation.
Speaker 3: I love it. I love it too, And I think here,
Speaker 3: especially in recent years, I've gotten so used to not
Speaker 3: interacting that it would just felt great. I love's I'm
Speaker 3: going to change this city. You start talking to people. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's my New Year's resolution. Starting now.
Speaker 1: It's hot girl summer for you and I. Yeah, we're
Speaker 1: gonna we're gonna bring that open energy to one of
Speaker 1: the more closed areas of the nation. Clothed.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm not doing this at the beach.
Speaker 1: That's the hardest time to really be open and vulnerable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'll start by doing it indoors. But eventually
Speaker 3: I'm gonna take this openness to the streets. You should
Speaker 3: and and that's what I'll think about taking some clothes off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you paste that out.
Speaker 3: Don't do it all at once. No, No, you can't just
Speaker 3: start talking to people and get naked in the same day.
Speaker 1: They can't process all of the you need to go
Speaker 1: in levels and stuffs. Yeah. Yeah, but also, hey, Fiat,
Speaker 1: get the fuck over and go.
Speaker 3: Well, there's a car in front of them.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Also, why are you so small? Now? I get mad?
Speaker 3: Fiats have to be that small?
Speaker 1: Sir?
Speaker 2: Oh there's a car in front of him. I thought
Speaker 2: you meant a car coming toward it.
Speaker 3: Oh you didn't see it was totally totally locked. Yeah,
Speaker 3: they are of the same shape. But now that they're
Speaker 3: next to each other, isn't it funny because the other
Speaker 3: car is much larger, So much larger. That's perspective for
Speaker 3: you guys.
Speaker 2: This is a perspective that podcast listeners cannot have or appreciate.
Speaker 3: I do think they appreciate it, our listeners. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: I used to worry about it. And then I've been
Speaker 3: told that specifically people like when we're talking about things
Speaker 3: happening in the street that they can't see. It's like
Speaker 3: a radio show. And well we're doing, uh, you know,
Speaker 3: fully work. I have shoes on my hands and I'm
Speaker 3: crunching on gravel. Hey, mug, and then I punched some meat.
Speaker 3: I've always you know, like shoes. I just my point is,
Speaker 3: when are we going to go the new R route
Speaker 3: with this uh new R? Yeah? Film noir? Noir? Am
Speaker 3: I pronouncing that wrong a.
Speaker 2: Little bit at the first all but you you came
Speaker 2: around the second time, and then I understood what you meant.
Speaker 3: Now the fashion brand is it douau No dooya dooya?
Speaker 1: It's doya doya. Who are you wearing tonight?
Speaker 3: Doya no doya.
Speaker 2: See, I've made the classic la error, as if I
Speaker 2: haven't lived here for thirty nine fucking years, getting in
Speaker 2: the left lane when you're going down Franklin under the
Speaker 2: overpass by the extra space uh RET storage facility. You
Speaker 2: do not want to be in this left lane. You
Speaker 2: get stuck here because there's left turn people. I mean
Speaker 2: it up and here comes a school bus.
Speaker 3: You're also podcasting. If I was driving right now, and
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to put this in a position where
Speaker 3: you will always be the driver, I promise I will
Speaker 3: give it a go.
Speaker 1: I will always be the driver.
Speaker 3: I thank you God. I don't want to drive, please.
Speaker 3: I would be on the curve. I would be disrupting
Speaker 3: that man's abode. There's a man's abode.
Speaker 1: There is an abode. We don't know if it's a
Speaker 1: man or a woman.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what. It's put together so haphazardly. I
Speaker 3: think it reminds me of my dad and I building
Speaker 3: a deck in under eight hours.
Speaker 1: Don't rush a deck.
Speaker 3: No, you can't. People stand on that for so long.
Speaker 3: Yeah after Yeah, if it's a good barbecue, they'll stay.
Speaker 2: Here's what I was going to say about our hot
Speaker 2: girl summer, that we're both agreeing to participate in.
Speaker 3: This summer tanning. I'm going to be tanning.
Speaker 1: Oh but we're gonna get We're gonna get lip injections,
Speaker 1: We're gonna wear tube tops, We're gonna go to every
Speaker 1: party we get invited to.
Speaker 3: I am definitely doing that.
Speaker 2: Okay, well I'm gonna do it too, so don't leave
Speaker 2: me out. But here's a vibe that I picked up
Speaker 2: on in Italy that when people are and I it
Speaker 2: was the men, but when they are being appreciative of
Speaker 2: women in the street, the underlying energy of it was
Speaker 2: very loving and respectful.
Speaker 1: It wasn't creepy.
Speaker 3: Ever.
Speaker 2: Now maybe that's because a lot of them are wildly
Speaker 2: beautiful to a degree that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3: That's kind of the deciding factor.
Speaker 2: But you have definitely met and interacted with hot people
Speaker 2: with terrible vibes that you're like, this person is dangerous. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so it's possible, but over there it felt like they
Speaker 2: were like everything was.
Speaker 1: Kind of like, oh, look at you, ladies. It was
Speaker 1: that kind of thing where you don't normally hear.
Speaker 2: If someone was like saying something about my parents, I'd
Speaker 2: be like, how about you don't talk about my parents
Speaker 2: and instead.
Speaker 1: You respect my mind or some shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I never said that in my life, But do
Speaker 3: you do you think that was the trick of the
Speaker 3: the accent. Yes, I think if if tone in the
Speaker 3: right tone in Italian, I would appreciate anything anyone says.
Speaker 1: Because it has a little bit of a sing song.
Speaker 2: They literally do have an put an a at the
Speaker 2: end of every word, because that's kind of more like
Speaker 2: their language, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's like, uh, would you like a menua?
Speaker 3: Really?
Speaker 1: Uh huh? Not that bad, but no good. A general
Speaker 1: vibe of driving.
Speaker 3: Now pass what used to be the one on one diner,
Speaker 3: some of our some of our early tune of melts, Yes,
Speaker 3: the earlier melts that we shared.
Speaker 1: And now have you been to the Clark Street Diner.
Speaker 1: It's awesome, I have it. The food is really fucking good.
Speaker 1: It was amazing.
Speaker 3: Well, the early meetings you had with Georgia, was there
Speaker 3: that's right. I mean so much history.
Speaker 1: A true.
Speaker 2: They used to have a comedy show there before it
Speaker 2: was even Redone, back when it was still kind of shitty,
Speaker 2: and there was weird curtains and stuff in there that
Speaker 2: we all would do.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you lived in it, No, I didn't.
Speaker 3: I only remember visiting and doing laundromats with you, a
Speaker 3: series of landermats, a tradition that I'm glad has disappeared.
Speaker 2: That was the laundrymat show was so hard and so funny,
Speaker 2: like no one did well. Everyone just would get up
Speaker 2: and eat it while other people tried to ignore them
Speaker 2: while they did their laundry.
Speaker 3: I had decided to move here and was just visiting,
Speaker 3: and I felt like I was making a huge mistake.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I was also doing that show with you
Speaker 3: and CJ. Arabia, and I was nervous. I was. I
Speaker 3: was nervous for ten years here every time I got
Speaker 3: on stage. Now I'm nervous again because I've stopped drinking
Speaker 3: before every show. How's that going. It's been going great.
Speaker 3: Have been wanting to talk to you about it because
Speaker 3: I didn't go through any sort of program. I just
Speaker 3: kind of stopped and my brain works better, I think,
Speaker 3: except that I find that during this recording so far
Speaker 3: I have had to search for words. So I'm in
Speaker 3: a little bit of a lull. I feel bored lately.
Speaker 3: It used to be a reason to do things. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but I can tell that my productivity will be up
Speaker 3: and I feel better about myself. And I'm not getting angry.
Speaker 3: I'm not getting depressed all those emotions that are depressant
Speaker 3: surging through your blood. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And when you're on stage, do you lose words or no?
Speaker 3: No, I don't. I feel like I remember all my jokes.
Speaker 3: But I yes, I am nervous. I have that new
Speaker 3: feeling or that old feeling of being nervous every time
Speaker 3: I get on stage. But it's a good good it's
Speaker 3: a good yeah. That's energy, right, Yeah, it's energy.
Speaker 1: That's like actually being in your own body.
Speaker 3: And there was a number of times we recorded this
Speaker 3: podcast and I would because I was nervous, I would
Speaker 3: have a drink or two. I'm gonna admit that, and
Speaker 3: we're just talking white Claws or something. I wouldn't get
Speaker 3: hammered like the NASA episode. But that in my evac
Speaker 3: I was at a party and I suppose I knew
Speaker 3: we were podcasting that day, but it didn't stop me.
Speaker 1: Tip having which did you say the NASA episode.
Speaker 3: We drove and people will remember in the mountains and
Speaker 3: just ended up at a nursing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yes, I picked you up from
Speaker 1: Al Madrigal's party.
Speaker 3: That's right. Yes. And then we both auditioned to be astronauts. Auditioned,
Speaker 3: We sang and danced about the moon.
Speaker 1: Do you want us here? We'd be really good on
Speaker 1: your moon.
Speaker 3: I'll do anything that doesn't involved math.
Speaker 1: Oh. Look, wait, this roundabout is news.
Speaker 3: We're discovering new things about the town. You know what
Speaker 3: this means? Eighty percent more accidents but zero fatalities. That's
Speaker 3: the story of the roundabout.
Speaker 1: Is that true?
Speaker 3: That's in a roundabout. Sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: It was a beautiful set up.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: Well, you're welcome from me.
Speaker 3: Thank you. I actually thought it would get quite the ground.
Speaker 1: I hear I've made a large error on my first
Speaker 1: in car episode. Oh, I do not think we're in
Speaker 1: the right place.
Speaker 3: Oh I think we are. I think yeah, wait a minute,
Speaker 3: you perhaps are correct.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm doing. I'm going to Laura Milligan's
Speaker 2: old house. Do you know Laura Milligan? She might be
Speaker 2: a pre moving hair person.
Speaker 3: Should we just break the news to Margaret and pick.
Speaker 1: Up she doesn't live here anymore?
Speaker 3: Oh no, she should be the news to each of
Speaker 3: them and just pick up whoever lives here. Hello, Oh
Speaker 3: oh god.
Speaker 1: So I'll just jump on the freeway.
Speaker 3: Missed this chaos. We went the wrong way and it
Speaker 3: feels great.
Speaker 1: But on a last we're still recording, right. Oh yeah, Golden,
Speaker 1: that's all we care about.
Speaker 3: Nice Okay, I stopped for nothing and then we run
Speaker 3: over someone, So we bringing us back to this pre
Speaker 3: mentioned I mean, and it's true, they really there's no
Speaker 3: fatalities here, but of course people panic and they just
Speaker 3: run into each other. Yeah, but but are you making
Speaker 3: that up or no? No? Eight more accidents?
Speaker 1: Where are you getting this down?
Speaker 3: Venders? From the roundabouts of my hometown of Miszoula, there
Speaker 3: was a corner where many people were hit on bicycles
Speaker 3: if they had started to be called the malfunction junction,
Speaker 3: and uh, I got them quick and the the the
Speaker 3: bikes were just kind of locked to a pole. To
Speaker 3: remind you, they were painted white and it was very sad.
Speaker 3: And then they that's where they put Misula's first roundabout
Speaker 3: and there has since there has been no fatalities anymore.
Speaker 3: But people kept crashing because they weren't used to roundabouts.
Speaker 3: I think they are now. You know what, I don't
Speaker 3: think it's a bad thing that our first episode in
Speaker 3: the car and the inaugural episode of a fourth season,
Speaker 3: Am I Right? Or am I out of School? Out
Speaker 3: of turn four?
Speaker 1: This is season four wheel Drive.
Speaker 3: I mean that's great too, these plays, it's one of
Speaker 3: my favorite, not only in advertising but with comedy. It
Speaker 3: just turns a phrase and it's a fun surprise.
Speaker 2: Wait, sorry, what are these two people doing? Is are
Speaker 2: they being filmed? There's two people just sitting at a
Speaker 2: table on the sidewalk.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're looking around, like look at me, look at me. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's a reality show. And uh, I do too. It
Speaker 3: makes me nervous, but it makes me cry.
Speaker 1: It's so good.
Speaker 3: It can be most things. But I I was going
Speaker 3: to say that it's a good thing that this will
Speaker 3: no doubt be a two hour episode. Yeah, I think
Speaker 3: that that's fine.
Speaker 2: Yes, Well, here's the thing as a podcast fan myself,
Speaker 2: when I have a podcast that I've dug into and
Speaker 2: like say, I do the dishes in the morning, then
Speaker 2: I have to stop and go do a meeting, and
Speaker 2: I get to go back to the same podcast to
Speaker 2: go to do.
Speaker 1: Is that there's what hill?
Speaker 3: Sorry, my book bag fell everywhere? Where was your arm
Speaker 3: on that one? I could have used a nice chest caress. Oh,
Speaker 3: we aren't doing that, windy serpentine. We're going up this
Speaker 3: blue snow here we go nice.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is like truly some sweet ass back road ship.
Speaker 3: We also made the decision of doing this during rush hour. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but that's because there's more fodder for conversation.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think rush hour LA is the pinnacle of Los
Speaker 2: Angeles living.
Speaker 3: Would you say, ye?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 3: Wow, we're doing this? Oh, I'm telling you. When I
Speaker 3: said blue snake, I met look out out of my way,
Speaker 3: there's a blue snake in my lap.
Speaker 2: Okay, when I was home, So I flew home from
Speaker 2: Italy to Pedaluma I mean to San Francisco, but ultimately
Speaker 2: got to.
Speaker 1: Pedaluma Mill Valley and I was short driving.
Speaker 2: With my sister and there was a guy jogging on
Speaker 2: the side of the road holding a stick with a
Speaker 2: big dead snake on it. That's something I saw as
Speaker 2: she was dropping me off to come home to La.
Speaker 1: How hilarious is that? Like he found the snake or
Speaker 1: somebody ran over it, he was going to keep it.
Speaker 3: Maybe he was designing a flag for society made all
Speaker 3: of snakes.
Speaker 1: Oh, keep going, we are.
Speaker 3: Doing this, I swear right now. We're in someone's driveway.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a rich person. Yeah, Yeah, hello ding dong, we're here.
Speaker 3: You were calling hello ding dong in the car.
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever called anyone a ding dong.
Speaker 2: No, this person that's on the wrong side of the road,
Speaker 2: whatever in.
Speaker 3: Progress, whatever you were to the right.
Speaker 1: This is exciting.
Speaker 3: Yeah it is.
Speaker 1: I've been up here.
Speaker 3: This I'm I really have to say again. I'm I'm
Speaker 3: excited for has to be back in the car. This
Speaker 3: is Uh. At first I felt like I was nervous,
Speaker 3: almost like I was doing a new thing. That seems
Speaker 3: so it's just great to be back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is.
Speaker 3: There's lady helping her child. He's not in the stroller.
Speaker 3: He refuses to get in the stroller.
Speaker 1: You wanted to look at a rock. That thing babies
Speaker 1: love to.
Speaker 3: Do towury snakes. They love picking them up, hold.
Speaker 1: Them on a stick. But what if that was a
Speaker 1: baby that was jogging with the snake on a stick.
Speaker 1: Look at that cool house Hong Kong.
Speaker 3: I can see, yeah, doing karate in there. You're silhouette.
Speaker 1: Hey, mister Miagi.
Speaker 3: Yeah it's very Miagi like that looks like very Oh
Speaker 3: there's a dojo up there.
Speaker 1: Whoa, there's a lot of nice houses up here. Yeah.
Speaker 3: That's one thing about driving in the city. I want
Speaker 3: to scream what the hell do you do for a
Speaker 3: living to everyone?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: When you first move here, you think, oh, all these houses,
Speaker 3: it's rich people because they're movie stars. No, a lot
Speaker 3: of those A lot of those movie stars just rent
Speaker 3: an apartment.
Speaker 1: Yep, they can't afford it.
Speaker 3: These people work on augmenting chins, or they get murderers
Speaker 3: off or uh you know, jobs like that.
Speaker 1: If the glove doesn't fit, you must have quit down, black.
Speaker 3: Up, turned right, Yes I should be doing this. Yes
Speaker 3: you should and I well, now forever you're a navigator.
Speaker 1: Look at this.
Speaker 3: We're coming up on a park. Will turn right.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, perfect, we're gonna dump out of Oh. I
Speaker 1: see where we are.
Speaker 3: I see where we.
Speaker 1: Are too, I see more.
Speaker 2: Look at this great Oh wow, we really did circumvent
Speaker 2: this is.
Speaker 3: The park Griffith Park, Yes, it is. It's a it's
Speaker 3: a large park. There's about three Griffith Parks in this city,
Speaker 3: and it took me a while to realize they were
Speaker 3: all one park. Yeah, you can just approach it for
Speaker 3: so many different areas. There's a mountain in the middle
Speaker 3: as far as I know, and uh, it's a great
Speaker 3: place to picnic or just hang out bush and try
Speaker 3: and meet new people.
Speaker 1: Bring that open energy to this any kind of a
Speaker 1: bush or shrubbery.
Speaker 3: I'm doing it. Twenty twenty three, that's this is the year. Yeah,
Speaker 3: to leap out and surprise people with my presence in
Speaker 3: their life.
Speaker 1: How's your height? You yell real loud, all at once.
Speaker 3: That's the thing. I just bit my tongue. I'll try
Speaker 3: to ignore it. That's the thing in New York that
Speaker 3: I didn't expect. I was so sore every single day. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because all you do is ride city bikes and walk
Speaker 3: and run to trains. And my watch was freaking out, like,
Speaker 3: who is this new? Who are you? Jim Fits it said,
Speaker 3: in case you need a reference to.
Speaker 1: No one, Jim Fix.
Speaker 3: He wrote about being healthy and then died.
Speaker 1: Jim Fix.
Speaker 3: Jim Fix two exes.
Speaker 2: Really he was the jogger guy that died of a
Speaker 2: heart attack while jogging.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, there was a Bill Hicks joke about him
Speaker 3: dying around the same time as Yule Brenner in the
Speaker 3: contrast and their lifestyles and basically you should just live
Speaker 3: your life because they both died. Yeah, yes, so true,
Speaker 3: but oh lost my train of thought. Beautiful park is
Speaker 3: what I say.
Speaker 2: Same if we're going to equate my New York City
Speaker 2: Italy trip. Yes, same where Adrian had her fit bit
Speaker 2: and we were walking twenty thousand steps a day. Yes,
Speaker 2: because we were just hauling ass all over every city
Speaker 2: we were in.
Speaker 3: That's what I heard from my friend who lied about
Speaker 3: the hot dogs, is that they were and everywhere people
Speaker 3: who were actively eating hot dogs left and right. No,
Speaker 3: that have so many just ballpark franks and everyone was
Speaker 3: like fit yes because there's so much walking. And I
Speaker 3: realized not to keep bringing up New York. But I
Speaker 3: haven't been to Italy, and I like to steam roll
Speaker 3: your possible stories.
Speaker 2: I think they really kind of jigsaw puzzle piece very
Speaker 2: nicely together.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, because they're both on a grid system.
Speaker 1: Also in Italy.
Speaker 2: I'm going to be the person I talked about Italy
Speaker 2: for I like you after I come back, but they
Speaker 2: and now so I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, hey, was that person Italian? Then I just saw
Speaker 1: it a.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you want them here.
Speaker 1: I'm like Jacomo Choo choo.
Speaker 2: The food there is all so beautifully farm fresh and
Speaker 2: whole whole food that you're walking a ton and then
Speaker 2: you're not eating preservatives and chemicals and shit that is
Speaker 2: a huge thing, and you can't. There's not a lot
Speaker 2: of processed food available. Like there was one store that
Speaker 2: was almost like a novelty shop of snacks. It had
Speaker 2: some snack name and that's where all the chips were.
Speaker 2: And other than that, the only really like food you
Speaker 2: had to go to like a you know, a stand
Speaker 2: or a restaurant or whatever.
Speaker 1: Wow, there wasn't like.
Speaker 3: It was like American themed. Welcome to this heavy breathing America.
Speaker 3: I'd like that my attempt at the accent to be
Speaker 3: stricken from the record.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry it has to go on the permanent record.
Speaker 2: That's just the rules.
Speaker 3: I wonder if all fr conversions does is make a
Speaker 3: giant black metal billboard for a bumper. I see, it's
Speaker 3: quite the conversion.
Speaker 2: Do you what are they trying to keep mud off
Speaker 2: of their license plate?
Speaker 3: In the back of this Toyota family wagon has basically
Speaker 3: a snowplow, And that's the conversion.
Speaker 1: But oh, the license plates up there, I see.
Speaker 2: I was about to say, you can't cover your license
Speaker 2: plate like that, but it's directly in front of my stay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's it's bright and clearly inside.
Speaker 1: Fr conversions is so distracting that I couldn't spot the
Speaker 1: license plate.
Speaker 3: That's why they do it so they can have made
Speaker 3: the coppers.
Speaker 1: That's the conversion.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 2: That's like it's like James Bond style where it's like, right,
Speaker 2: we fucked with your mind.
Speaker 1: Now you can't report us.
Speaker 3: Do you remember in Cannonball one or two, or perhaps
Speaker 3: it was three, which everyone had dom Delouise, they would
Speaker 3: they had a car they were they were driving haphazardly
Speaker 3: and they were getting pulled over and they had they
Speaker 3: had a Lamborghini or something. It was yellow, and then
Speaker 3: they pulled over and washed the paint off, and then
Speaker 3: all of a sudden it was white. And then the
Speaker 3: cops didn't know what to do. And I thought, I
Speaker 3: was like, yellow Lamborghini, I want to do that In
Speaker 3: real life, except like with a hypercolor temperature triggered, just
Speaker 3: so you know, my life.
Speaker 2: A crime that's coming up, Oh yeah, the one you're planning.
Speaker 2: Is that also for Hot Girl summer? Because I don't
Speaker 2: know if we can do all those things.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no more rules, and that includes those of the law.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, the ultimate rules, not just societal Okay.
Speaker 3: But I am gonna be more open to take my
Speaker 3: clothes off more and I'm going to start doing home invasions.
Speaker 1: Thanks to FR conversions.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you FR Conversions, which is so many free commercials.
Speaker 3: I hope the people that pay for real ones don't
Speaker 3: get upset.
Speaker 2: But if if this basically what looks listener like a
Speaker 2: black piece of plastic someone shoved up under their back bumper,
Speaker 2: that says FR Conversions at the bottom, If that's the advertisement,
Speaker 2: what are they advertising?
Speaker 3: I think now that I'm looking at it, and it's
Speaker 3: grippy nature that comes out at an angle, comes down
Speaker 3: and becomes an access ramp. Oh yeah, oh, and we
Speaker 3: both learned something and I appreciate what everything f our
Speaker 3: Conversions does.
Speaker 1: Now I understand conversions conversions.
Speaker 2: If you need a ramp on your car, that also
Speaker 2: kind of looks like you could maybe kill people with it,
Speaker 2: or I did the.
Speaker 1: Law right, which I bet you. I bet you.
Speaker 2: People with disabilities or other abilities, they they're sick of
Speaker 2: just something looking like kind of technical. Yeah, they want
Speaker 2: something a little sexier.
Speaker 3: Yeah, probably, and that even though it's out of our
Speaker 3: lives forever now, Yeah, it's somehow gotten some pob lane.
Speaker 3: Where the hell did that family go?
Speaker 2: But you know what, they f are converted right the
Speaker 2: fuck to the right, and now they're gone and we
Speaker 2: don't remember their license plate.
Speaker 1: I think there was a two in it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we could have read that out loud. I smell
Speaker 3: a lawsuit we should. We're in. As I mentioned before,
Speaker 3: that rush hour traffic. I don't think it's a bad thing.
Speaker 3: I just it is something that's happening. It is people work.
Speaker 3: I forget about nine to five jobs, traditional humans.
Speaker 1: We haven't had.
Speaker 2: To deal with this level of traffic on the show
Speaker 2: right in three and a half years.
Speaker 3: And we used to be really good at it. Need
Speaker 3: I remind you of the times we used to go
Speaker 3: to the airport and drop people out. I cannot believe
Speaker 3: we ever did that.
Speaker 1: It was so kind of us, it really was.
Speaker 3: That's why I say, I can't believe it because we've
Speaker 3: become so unkind.
Speaker 1: The pandemic shrunk our hearts like two grenches mm hm.
Speaker 1: And that's the other thing we're fighting against this summer
Speaker 1: is basically the smallness.
Speaker 2: Of the pandemic. Yeah, and I think it's we're going
Speaker 2: to get it solved in this traffic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're certainly by the end of the episode, we're
Speaker 3: going to have this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because this episode's going to be four and a
Speaker 2: half hours long. If this traffic gets any.
Speaker 3: Worse again, any anything. And I'm speaking for myself when
Speaker 3: I mentioned something there's a lull or I make zero sense,
Speaker 3: we can just trim that out right in the least.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 3: That'll be fun. Editing's fun.
Speaker 1: It's fine.
Speaker 3: Some it's a passion to find the walls take them out.
Speaker 1: For some, it's a passion. So when you were in
Speaker 1: New York, did you do shows?
Speaker 3: I did? And I loved every minute of it. I
Speaker 3: did you kill I did? I felt great. And you know,
Speaker 3: I'm not one to be braggadocious.
Speaker 1: I asked, so you had to answer that.
Speaker 3: I've really felt like I was doing well and I
Speaker 3: felt comfortable, and I was like well, this joke will work.
Speaker 3: I'll do this one. And I realized it was just
Speaker 3: all my favorite jokes were working, and all the ones
Speaker 3: I've done to be relatable on the road or to
Speaker 3: get a cheap laft or involve my passion of Genitalia,
Speaker 3: none of those needed or they weren't appreciated. People would
Speaker 3: celebrate the ones that I liked, and it made me think, Man,
Speaker 3: should I have moved here? Not that I'm living in
Speaker 3: the past or ever regrets, but sometimes I feel like
Speaker 3: I could have been in New York.
Speaker 2: Well, it's a very human to entertain that idea when
Speaker 2: you're killing right right.
Speaker 3: It's like, but the minute I have four roommates and
Speaker 3: we're all in bunk beds and.
Speaker 1: You're hanging your bike from the ceiling. Yeah.
Speaker 2: That was something I saw in a Brooklyn apartment one time,
Speaker 2: and I was just like, guys, I don't know if
Speaker 2: this is worth it.
Speaker 1: You're hanging a bunch of shit from the ceiling.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you live on a submarine.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I saw a friend that I was golfing
Speaker 3: with here and he had moved back to New York,
Speaker 3: and I said, no, do you golfer he's like, oh no,
Speaker 3: I'm done doing that. Like you can't. There are certain
Speaker 3: things that I would have to sacrifice and I don't
Speaker 3: think I can do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you need to be outside.
Speaker 3: I do. I'm an outdoorsy guy. Yeah, the lion needs
Speaker 3: to get walked, that's right, or or if not, it
Speaker 3: gets frustrated, needs to remind folks that he's king of
Speaker 3: the jungle.
Speaker 1: I hate to interrupt you, but is that jim Iroquay.
Speaker 3: That's spiritual insanity for you to have said that. That
Speaker 3: is the I want that hat. I love that that
Speaker 3: person's wearing that hat.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, there's another kicky hat. Look at her. Did
Speaker 1: you see the woman?
Speaker 3: Are we in that hat neighborhood? Oh wow, yeah, that's
Speaker 3: more of a.
Speaker 1: Oh we must be. We must have just crossed the
Speaker 1: line into Silver Lake.
Speaker 3: Here we are. Yeah, guys, silver Lake is the landa.
Speaker 2: Hat also a bunch of seventy five year old women
Speaker 2: with very hip hats. If it were nineteen ninety two, awesome.
Speaker 3: I love the dreamier a quay. Am I saying that white?
Speaker 3: Am I saying that white dreamier a quay. Anyway, The
Speaker 3: point is not drinking makes you a sharp communicator. Dreamier
Speaker 3: a quay, am I saying that white Yes you are, Yes, sir,
Speaker 3: you are indeed saying it in the whitest way and.
Speaker 1: The whitest way you came.
Speaker 3: I love Jamia Quay. I love how he dances that
Speaker 3: conveyor belt.
Speaker 1: What if that was you actually channeling the woman who
Speaker 1: was wearing that hat? And that's what she says all
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 2: I love Jimmy ra Quay and people are like, ma'am,
Speaker 2: just ring up your stuff at the self check, gut
Speaker 2: and go.
Speaker 3: She only goes because of the conveyor belt. But the
Speaker 3: time she tried to dance on it was not well received.
Speaker 1: We're going to have to call our guest and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: so do you actually want to do this two hours
Speaker 1: after we set the time for.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I am a little nervous because I feel like
Speaker 3: today's guest is going to be Margaret Cho I'm just
Speaker 3: going to go ahead and say it might as well.
Speaker 3: She has done so much that it's hard to believe
Speaker 3: she isn't someone that probably has something else to do today.
Speaker 2: She absolutely probably does. But you know, like we were
Speaker 2: going to drive her to the market. I believe, yes,
Speaker 2: But if we don't have enough time we can just
Speaker 2: drive around with her and be like, hey, we can
Speaker 2: get a solid thirty minutes out of you.
Speaker 1: Chris and I just put in an hour hour. So
Speaker 1: whatever whatever she can.
Speaker 3: Give us will tape, right, and if and if, even
Speaker 3: if it's not recording, and I'm going to make this
Speaker 3: promise to her without her even being in the car,
Speaker 3: we will still take her to the market. Yeah how
Speaker 3: about that?
Speaker 1: Sure, absolutely, you've done that already.
Speaker 3: I mean I've in a non podcast environment, it said, okay,
Speaker 3: I will still There's been times where the recording didn't
Speaker 3: work out, but we still did an airport drop up.
Speaker 1: Oh right.
Speaker 3: I think that has happened. And I've personally, I've picked
Speaker 3: people up and they thought it was going to be
Speaker 3: the podcast.
Speaker 1: And you're like, no, this is your star friendship.
Speaker 3: I thought you just wanted to ride. Why everyone wants something?
Speaker 1: Why are you? Why do you want me to record
Speaker 1: you all the time?
Speaker 3: Yeah, all the time as well? You're sleeping to figure
Speaker 3: out your sleep cycle?
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: The reason to record someone sleeping.
Speaker 1: Oh right, just to see if they have or or.
Speaker 3: Have they blurt out good ideas in their dreams that
Speaker 3: you can steal. That was going to be. My invention
Speaker 3: is because I always think of funny, good ideas when
Speaker 3: I'm dreaming, and the minute I wake up, I'm back
Speaker 3: to my dull day brain. So I wanted an apparatus
Speaker 3: that the minute I woke up, a Pulley system would
Speaker 3: yank me out of bed, something else like a Rupe
Speaker 3: Goldberg machine, shoot a pen in my hand, immediate piece
Speaker 3: of paper, and I would write down jokes. This was
Speaker 3: an invention.
Speaker 1: Give me an example of one of these great ideas.
Speaker 3: Well. There are so many times that I've woken up
Speaker 3: and I'm like, that's such a funny idea, or that's
Speaker 3: a great idea, or I just drammed a movie, and
Speaker 3: then one minute later I've forgotten all of it. I
Speaker 3: do not remember my dreams. I just don't. And so
Speaker 3: I thought, maybe in that little window of time, if
Speaker 3: I immediately was able to write, cell phones have changed it.
Speaker 3: I got things in my notes. They never make sense,
Speaker 3: but I do immediately write them.
Speaker 1: I mean, because that was what I was going to say.
Speaker 2: I remember having very specifically having a dream, because I
Speaker 2: do remember my dreams, and it's all kind of nonsense.
Speaker 2: But I do remember one time when I very first
Speaker 2: started stand up. I think maybe it was younger, and
Speaker 2: I dreamed I was in the Mervins in our town,
Speaker 2: but I was up on stage in the center of
Speaker 2: Mervins and there was I was like doing comedy.
Speaker 3: So this was a nightmare.
Speaker 1: It was I didn't know yet that that kind of
Speaker 1: show would be horrible, and it was in the round
Speaker 1: even worse. And I said this thing about penguins, and
Speaker 1: everybody like lost their minds. And when I woke up,
Speaker 1: I was like, should I write that down? I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: it's fucking blather. Like that's how dreams work, where you're
Speaker 1: in a different reality where people would think that was fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's only been a handful of times where it
Speaker 3: actually was a good idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Usually it's just your brain convincing you it's a good idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's blather. But that's okay because then that
Speaker 1: enables you to go to New York and make it
Speaker 1: there and make it anywhere.
Speaker 3: You know what, people love penguins, Karen.
Speaker 1: They're funny as hell.
Speaker 3: They are they are dressed up for formal events, they
Speaker 3: walk hilariously, they have their own books. No, I just
Speaker 3: I went from what the fuck are you talking about
Speaker 3: to seeing that perfect little logo, and and then and
Speaker 3: then I thought that the shirts, and then like, do
Speaker 3: they make those shirts too? Yeah, penguins.
Speaker 1: Penguins are super fucking relatable.
Speaker 3: Yeah. They it's a rich area. They love once and
Speaker 3: they can't walk backwards, and they only love once and
Speaker 3: never again. They're loyal and they're not afraid to stand
Speaker 3: up for their friends.
Speaker 1: Oh really yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh if you push a little penguin over and you
Speaker 3: will want to because it's funny to see him fall,
Speaker 3: their friends will all gang up. I've seen it in videos.
Speaker 3: I haven't experienced it. They will, they will. They will
Speaker 3: dive in for a friend that falls in the ice.
Speaker 3: They they're very loyal.
Speaker 1: And you got all of this from your friend, mister Popper.
Speaker 3: Yes, doctor pimple Popper. Hey his side interest as penguins, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I got. I get most of my stories.
Speaker 1: From the doctor from that good.
Speaker 3: When we pick up Margaret in the morning, do you
Speaker 3: think we should offer breakfast?
Speaker 1: We're just rolling along at this as, as Meryl Streep said,
Speaker 1: a glacial.
Speaker 2: Pace here just I mean, we're at the height of
Speaker 2: LA traffic four forty eight pm. Everybody's out looking around.
Speaker 2: Everybody knows it's hot girl summer. You can tell the
Speaker 2: energy from these cars. Yeah, everybody's got their eyes peeled.
Speaker 3: They are just so horny.
Speaker 1: Chow Bella, they all say.
Speaker 3: Is that Italian? It's Italian and it means what does
Speaker 3: it mean?
Speaker 1: Put it together? You know what choo means.
Speaker 3: Goodbye and bella. I'm guessing your name is Bella. I
Speaker 3: don't know, No, I don't know what bello.
Speaker 1: Choo is a little bit of a loha.
Speaker 2: For Italy, it's hello and goodbye, okay, although I learned
Speaker 2: that they don't say it as much as Americans say
Speaker 2: it to them. Oh but uh chio Bella means hello, beautiful.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, Well that I should You're right. I should
Speaker 3: know that because of my niece. Her name is Bella.
Speaker 3: Oh really Isabella, which means is a beautiful. Oh god,
Speaker 3: you know I've enjoyed myself from that that loving self
Speaker 3: snort rears. It's ugly giant nostrils. I'm sorry, but thank you.
Speaker 3: So we're gonna want to get in these right lanes.
Speaker 3: You already know that.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 3: I feel like people obey.
Speaker 1: This car kind of. It's a little bit like you
Speaker 1: have to fight your way in well you're.
Speaker 3: Doing a great job.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, your little map has other little cars. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's like frogg er yeah, no, frogs. It's like, don't
Speaker 3: go over there. Oh they're gonna do it.
Speaker 1: Oh we're turing right or are we getting on the freeway.
Speaker 1: We're getting on the entrance of the freeway. Yeah, I five,
Speaker 1: which is up ahead a little bit. Oh yeah, so
Speaker 1: we don't. We don't have to go over there to
Speaker 1: go five south.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh that's there, motherfucker. So roll down your window and
Speaker 1: put your arm out.
Speaker 3: I will do that. I've never done that.
Speaker 1: Can we get over?
Speaker 3: Can we get in there?
Speaker 1: Hi?
Speaker 3: They have tinted windows. I don't know if they were
Speaker 3: open or receptive.
Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, they are not open or receptive.
Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: Good job.
Speaker 3: I find that if I just save HI over and over,
Speaker 3: smiling like.
Speaker 2: Ridiculous, that car didn't know what we wanted or needed.
Speaker 3: Well, there was they it was not within the confines
Speaker 3: of the law. That that shade of tint was way
Speaker 3: too dark.
Speaker 1: They couldn't see out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and and god knows what they were doing in there.
Speaker 1: And so I'm going to take a left after.
Speaker 3: The slice, we're going to cross under hyperion. Okay, then
Speaker 3: take an immediate left.
Speaker 1: Perfect a couple. It's literally going to be dark when
Speaker 1: we get.
Speaker 3: To It's okay, it's it's it's we've we've had some
Speaker 3: time off. We've had some time off and we we didn't.
Speaker 3: It's okay. We'll get better, hopefully.
Speaker 1: Our friend Mark, we've known for a very long time.
Speaker 3: You've known You've known her very well. I'm she's a
Speaker 3: new friend, Yes, I hope, I think so. It's I'm
Speaker 3: she is such an icon in comedy that she's someone
Speaker 3: I'm nervous around, much like I am when I meet
Speaker 3: a pro skateboarder. I look up to her. But most
Speaker 3: comics it isn't that way anymore, you know. But with
Speaker 3: with Margaret, it is that way, and that of course
Speaker 3: it's a compliment.
Speaker 2: She is the kind of person that'll be like, you know,
Speaker 2: if she can't, if it doesn't work for her, she'll
Speaker 2: let us know, and she mostly probably doesn't care, right,
Speaker 2: I would imagine, yeah, especially because she knows me, and
Speaker 2: I'm the kind of person that's like, hey, I went
Speaker 2: to your old house and she's like, uh huh, Because that's.
Speaker 1: The kind of thing I do.
Speaker 2: And now we're just getting right onto the five South
Speaker 2: to complete gridlocked traffic. Oh man, Oh the big old
Speaker 2: jacked up trucks.
Speaker 1: That's interesting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not northern California bro behavior.
Speaker 1: Normally, those guys try to shoot at you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a shame that I think that of trucks now,
Speaker 3: but I do like that is a jacked up truck.
Speaker 3: There's a firearm and the guys socks are going to
Speaker 3: be pulled up to his knees.
Speaker 2: Yeah, although socks to the knees, that's also skateboard behaviors.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 3: It's a fine line, you know. Whether it's depends on
Speaker 3: the foot That's when I have to investigate the footwear.
Speaker 1: And then what does the footwear tell you? Cowboy boots
Speaker 1: with tall socks, Yes, then you know you're in danger.
Speaker 3: No, that's someone that shouldn't be operating a motor vehicle.
Speaker 3: If you have got my boots with socks, well maybe
Speaker 3: that's just a cowboy on summer on summer, hot, a.
Speaker 1: Hot cowboy on summer.
Speaker 3: I have been thinking about getting boots. I was in
Speaker 3: Austin and I did look at some. I'm glad I
Speaker 3: didn't pull trigger on them.
Speaker 2: But as a person with wide feet, I can't consider
Speaker 2: that's they're just not for me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's one of those shoes like a crop where
Speaker 3: someone says, oh, they're so comfortable. I'm like, in spite
Speaker 3: of them not being comfortable, they're surprisingly comfortable.
Speaker 2: They somehow are defying the laws of physics.
Speaker 1: That's being comfortable.
Speaker 3: Comfortable if the heel's made of a block of wood.
Speaker 1: Also, it's like, I get they're comfortable if you are
Speaker 1: a cowboy that does a certain job. Right, ma'am, what
Speaker 1: are you doing?
Speaker 3: She's just preparing for the inevitable merge.
Speaker 1: When go now, go now? That is a seventeen year
Speaker 1: old case bug. Oh for an eighty year old. It
Speaker 1: helps when you're looking for your car in a parking lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I used to write my name on my underwear
Speaker 3: so you.
Speaker 1: Can find them in a parking lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah. At times that's where I wake up. Its chances
Speaker 3: are all eminence points where that's where my underpants are?
Speaker 1: Where am I?
Speaker 2: And then you check your the underpants band and you're
Speaker 2: like Chris Fairbanks doing fine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like memento. Everything I need to know about
Speaker 3: myself is in my underpants. I've always said that since
Speaker 3: I was a child in Italy. Do they drive on
Speaker 3: the opposite side of the road? Is at a dumb question?
Speaker 3: They don't. It's not a dumb question.
Speaker 1: It was a smart question.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I assume we all had.
Speaker 2: The same question, and then we were very grateful that
Speaker 2: it was the crux side of the road because we
Speaker 2: didn't think we could take the fear element of the
Speaker 2: style of driving combined with being on the other side.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's I mean, I've talked about it in a
Speaker 3: million times, but the time I had to drive in
Speaker 3: a commercial on the wrong side of the road and
Speaker 3: added to that where old men on bicycles and sheep
Speaker 3: and very narrow roads like you said, and yes it's
Speaker 3: a one lane road.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Everywhere yea, in England.
Speaker 1: And in Italy, there's lots of bicyclists.
Speaker 2: So like say we went to Lake Como and it's
Speaker 2: real windy, windy, windy, seems like it's a one way street.
Speaker 2: Then there's like a pod of bicyclists on the side,
Speaker 2: so the driver gets over and then a car's just
Speaker 2: coming straight at it.
Speaker 1: Also, they do a lot of passing on windy mountain roads.
Speaker 1: Just blind like curve passing.
Speaker 3: Oh that scares me.
Speaker 2: It's scary, It's real scary. But then you've got this
Speaker 2: kind of Italian Stathum esque driver, like the one I
Speaker 2: told you about the cold text and drive and stick shifted.
Speaker 3: Did he look like Jason Statham?
Speaker 2: He had the vibe of Jason Stathum. Oh, I want
Speaker 2: to be over there, and I don't want to be killed.
Speaker 3: You're doing Oh cars, got some get up and pap
Speaker 3: does Look at these guys. Wow, they don't care.
Speaker 1: Totally allowed this way right nor yes?
Speaker 3: Yea, yeah, okay, I have no help. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: That's all right.
Speaker 2: Uh you're doing the more confirming after the fact.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I'm just yes. And it's funny that Lake Cuomo.
Speaker 3: I did not. I do not think of Italy. I
Speaker 3: think of Perry Cuomo. It just doesn't. When you said
Speaker 3: Lake Como, I just think about the state New York
Speaker 3: or something. And is there another Lake quot? Very am
Speaker 3: I saying that.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's Perry Como, it's it's Andrew and his brother
Speaker 2: whatever Cuomo. Yes, you're right about the state of New
Speaker 2: York and Cuomo, but in Italy it's Como or like
Speaker 2: the lake.
Speaker 3: Is Como you had me with. I'm right about the
Speaker 3: one in New York because I know I pulled that
Speaker 3: state out of my ass hat.
Speaker 1: Good job. Okay, tell me the exit.
Speaker 3: Now we stay on the freeway for four point four miles.
Speaker 1: Great, hall ass up here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, boy, car's got some Peppini step.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And there's your old car. Yeah there is, Jason Memories.
Speaker 1: Look at this lunatic like speeding and breaking. Sir, what
Speaker 1: are you doing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like double footing. You can't be double footing.
Speaker 1: Don't double foot not in front of me.
Speaker 3: Oh, you're good at driving, smooth transition into lanes, right,
Speaker 3: you drive with purpose and it feel safe. Okay, good,
Speaker 3: and I'm not being sarcast Okay, good.
Speaker 1: Yes, this is a real adventure.
Speaker 2: This is a true kickoff episode one season four Wheel Drive.
Speaker 3: This is what I needed. There's rare, rarely times where
Speaker 3: I feel anxious or like I'm gonna screw up when
Speaker 3: we're doing it for Zoom, which just makes for better,
Speaker 3: better storytelling. And that's what we're here to do. We're
Speaker 3: here to tell us.
Speaker 1: Story We're the succession of podcasts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we really are. And this is not our grand
Speaker 3: Finelle quite the opposite the premiere season four wheel.
Speaker 1: Trow four wheel drive.
Speaker 3: Oh enjoyable. Did you stay in the same place the
Speaker 3: whole time you were in Italy?
Speaker 2: No, we went to We were in four different places,
Speaker 2: so we went to Tuscany, we went to Florence, we
Speaker 2: went to Chinkatara on the coast, and then we went
Speaker 2: to Lake Como.
Speaker 3: At the end. Oh man, I bet it's beautiful. They
Speaker 3: would like a slide show on the projector Okay, I
Speaker 3: know you own not because of Mac and Me. That
Speaker 3: was the old one, but it's been replaced with a
Speaker 3: newer model. I was sent one, but I don't have
Speaker 3: any white walls to screen my own Mac and Me.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's right.
Speaker 2: That would be really funny if I invited people over
Speaker 2: to show them my vacation pictures.
Speaker 3: I think you should style. It's something that people used
Speaker 3: to be a joke, like, oh no, we have to
Speaker 3: see the slides. Like that would something as a child,
Speaker 3: there would be fondue and my parents would actually show slides.
Speaker 3: I don't know where all these photos have gone, because
Speaker 3: I don't even know what I look like as a
Speaker 3: child anymore.
Speaker 1: I think they probably donated them all to like.
Speaker 3: Very sought after my child's photos, especially the ones who
Speaker 3: later hosen.
Speaker 1: God I was a kid kid there were There's a
Speaker 1: guy on TikTok that goes and finds people's old vacation
Speaker 1: slides and then puts the slides together on TikTok, which
Speaker 1: I think is awesome.
Speaker 3: And because someone offered to find my crosswalking, I already searched,
Speaker 3: so I know they're very difficult to find. But someone
Speaker 3: did offer to research and find through microfiche. I guess
Speaker 3: newspaper stuff, old photos.
Speaker 1: Oh that's good. Is it starting to rain a little.
Speaker 3: We're getting some weather.
Speaker 1: It's been driving so long, the weather change.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I did want this podcast. The one thing that
Speaker 3: was missing was possibly slippy streets. And by that I
Speaker 3: mean slippery.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh we got a case of slippy streets. Uh, be careful,
Speaker 3: gonna say it a third time.
Speaker 1: Slippy streets.
Speaker 3: My favorite certain words just have a nice cadence. Slippy
Speaker 3: streets is one.
Speaker 1: Jamira quay is another.
Speaker 3: Yes, Oh god, that was a beautiful have What was
Speaker 3: that cagle?
Speaker 1: It looked like a furry cagle.
Speaker 3: I wonder if I could get away with that.
Speaker 2: A lavender furry cagle. That woman was doing it right.
Speaker 3: You know that she loves that hat. And I wish
Speaker 3: we had been on foot so we could go great hat,
Speaker 3: could she'd be like a woman? And Arthur, Oh, I
Speaker 3: know I've heard.
Speaker 1: Is that a line in Arthur?
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's drunk and he's about to say he and
Speaker 3: Susan will not be getting married. He was just beat
Speaker 3: up by Susan's father and he didn't know what to say.
Speaker 3: Felt awkward. Everyone's staring at Arthur and he's limping and bloodied.
Speaker 3: And there is a lady with a floppy hat that
Speaker 3: she was already complimented by the great Liza Minelly yep,
Speaker 3: and so just back to back compliments on this floppy
Speaker 3: hat and she was just elated. So I'm my point
Speaker 3: is always compliment Oh yeah, that's great lady's hat. Because
Speaker 3: they're kind of going out on a limb. It's like,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna wear my fun hat. Yeah, I hope someone
Speaker 3: reminds me I'm fun do it.
Speaker 2: Also, I think these days, you know, trunds come big, bold,
Speaker 2: and you might find yourself wearing a like a bolero
Speaker 2: in the.
Speaker 1: Middle of the day.
Speaker 2: It does feel pretty risky, like you think it's a
Speaker 2: good idea because it's what everyone else in social media
Speaker 2: is doing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then you're just.
Speaker 2: Out and about with like a big old wide brim
Speaker 2: hat on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and a lot of times. And I've done this myself,
Speaker 3: like someone along have a loud, complicated shirt and I'm like,
Speaker 3: great shirt, when I really don't think so at all.
Speaker 3: I just know they went out on a limb. They're like,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna wear my shirt with purple and mustard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're saying, great idea to risk it.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm supporting your your your bad taste, your freedoms.
Speaker 3: But boy, you have bad taste. I leave that part out.
Speaker 1: I'm supporting your freedoms, your varied freedom. Oh we have a.
Speaker 3: God. We got to turn on the scanner. That would
Speaker 3: add to the chaos.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna drive by this guy.
Speaker 3: Real, he's evading. I believe we're No, he's just over
Speaker 3: in orderly fashion. But at first it looked like an evasion.
Speaker 3: Oh well, they don't have to pull over. That's just
Speaker 3: a college campus cop. Nope, community yep, Glendale Community College cop.
Speaker 3: You don't even need to pull over.
Speaker 1: What did that girl do, Glen?
Speaker 2: Oh no, this is the Glendale Community College it is.
Speaker 3: She was doing Glendale Community College stuff, probably looking at
Speaker 3: her notes on her phone. She's studying for a test
Speaker 3: while driving.
Speaker 2: He's like, I know you you have some libraries books
Speaker 2: that are overdue. Yeah, yeah, put your hands on the hood.
Speaker 3: A lot of people forget that's a jailable offense.
Speaker 1: Do you know that?
Speaker 2: When I was little, I checked out like eight Encyclopedia
Speaker 2: Brown books and then I didn't return them, and I
Speaker 2: knew they were overdue, and then they just put them
Speaker 2: in the back of my closet and never told anybody,
Speaker 2: and they stayed there for months, And my mom's like,
Speaker 2: what was the plan here? Like why wouldn't you just
Speaker 2: tell me and we would go to the library.
Speaker 3: Were you at an age where you didn't realize you
Speaker 3: were costing her money?
Speaker 1: Yes, young enough to not understand the fines. But also.
Speaker 2: I think it's a good reflection of how my sister
Speaker 2: and I were often left to our own devices to
Speaker 2: fix things that were actually adult level problems. Right, So
Speaker 2: then it was like, oh shit, I don't I can't
Speaker 2: get to the library, and I don't have the money
Speaker 2: to pay for this, so I'm just going to hide
Speaker 2: the books.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's I had a roommate that if a
Speaker 3: pot or a pan got burnt or was uncleanable, he
Speaker 3: just put it in our clothes washer and then you'd
Speaker 3: find it later with last of us mold on it.
Speaker 3: But then you said Encyclopedia Brown books. I thought Brown Encyclopedias.
Speaker 3: But Encyclopedia Brown was a child sleuth.
Speaker 1: Yes, a real smart boy that.
Speaker 2: Just kind of new trivia stuff and that would help
Speaker 2: him solve.
Speaker 1: Mysteries around town.
Speaker 3: Oh really, yeah really? Oh really? Well, I was thinking trivia.
Speaker 3: It's not like, what's where is Lake Pomo? And then
Speaker 3: he's like the murder weapon is here?
Speaker 1: He's like, it's Lake Cuomo.
Speaker 3: Uh I should uh? I all these childhood books I
Speaker 3: never even read back then.
Speaker 1: You didn't know too cool?
Speaker 3: Yeah, for school, and there was a lot of reading
Speaker 3: at school. Yeah, I want to stay cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so I didn't. Uh you said fuck it?
Speaker 3: Yeah okay, but still good ease A lot of people had.
Speaker 1: Did you have ease for excellent?
Speaker 3: He asking you for unsatisfactory?
Speaker 1: No, that sounds like some montessory bullshit.
Speaker 3: Yeah it does, Yeah, yeah, it really does. We created
Speaker 3: our own lesson plans. Lesson plans.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope that cop isn't gonna pull me over.
Speaker 3: Well, we were driving like community college kids.
Speaker 1: Okay, Now we just go all straight down the street.
Speaker 1: Now I know we're.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we used to drive in this neighborhood too.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's the only way I see the city I live
Speaker 3: in is through this podcast.
Speaker 1: And so it's great that we're back in the car.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is. It is. It's gonna make me appreciate
Speaker 3: where I live. It's right up that road.
Speaker 1: Okay, So should we tell her we're herehow?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: On a Lisa's on it.
Speaker 2: It would be so funny if Margaret came out with
Speaker 2: like old age makeup on.
Speaker 3: That's just what she's doing with your time waiting. Look
Speaker 3: at her old timey mailbox. So cool. Well, should we
Speaker 3: practice our apologies on each other?
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Hey, I'm so sorry, Chris and Anally's got
Speaker 2: to my house and I was blow drying my hair,
Speaker 2: which is a classic move of mine.
Speaker 3: So you're gonna take ownership. Yeah, that doesn't mind, doesn't work,
Speaker 3: because I was gonna blame it on you. I had uh,
Speaker 3: I had at court Jerry duty. Yep. Then I'm gonna
Speaker 3: use that.
Speaker 1: Oh you had it like this morning?
Speaker 3: Oh wow? It's a nice house.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she has a beautiful home.
Speaker 3: It is beautiful and well, there she's coming down the walk, yay,
Speaker 3: wearing a long gray wig. This has been an exactly
Speaker 3: Right production.
Speaker 2: Produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choi. Our talent
Speaker 2: booker is Patrick Coottner.
Speaker 3: Themed song by Karen Kilgarritt.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 2: podcast That's d y nar Podcast.
Speaker 3: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com. Thank you,
Speaker 3: Oh you're welcome.