Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the
Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
Speaker 1: whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
Speaker 1: your question. At the sound of the beep.
Speaker 2: High Cheeky is this is Destiny.
Speaker 3: So my question for you is what are your thoughts
Speaker 3: on ultimatums. I'm currently obsessed with the show on Netflix,
Speaker 3: and I see so much self discovery when an ultimatum
Speaker 3: is given. Based on the show. I've been with my
Speaker 3: boyfriend for five years now and we just welcomed a
Speaker 3: beautiful baby girl in December, which, by the way, her
Speaker 3: name is Eleana Janney. Her middle name was very much
Speaker 3: inspired by you. I love you so much. But yeah,
Speaker 3: what are your thoughts on ultimatums? You know my boyfriend's
Speaker 3: mindset is, well, we have a baby, we have joint accounts,
Speaker 3: we've been living together for so long, you know why
Speaker 3: put that on a piece of paper, like we've practically
Speaker 3: are married.
Speaker 2: And for me, it's more of like, I want the proposal.
Speaker 3: I want the cute little ceremony and you know, my
Speaker 3: family being a part of it. I didn't have a kincinera,
Speaker 3: I didn't have a graduation party.
Speaker 2: I feel like I deserve a wedding.
Speaker 3: I deserve a really beautiful proposal, and I love him
Speaker 3: so much. He treats me well. You know, we're in
Speaker 3: a great relationship. We respect each other. I just don't
Speaker 3: know if he's afraid, if it's a commitment issue.
Speaker 2: I don't know. What do you think?
Speaker 3: What are your thoughts on possibly giving him an ultimatum
Speaker 3: or ultimatums in general?
Speaker 1: Destiny first. So I love your question, and thank you
Speaker 1: for naming your daughter after me. Love that for us.
Speaker 1: Thank you A big kiss to Leana and to yourself,
Speaker 1: Lenna Janey. Okay, so ultimatums. I think ultimatums are totally fine.
Speaker 1: That is respecting boundaries, your boundaries. I get what your
Speaker 1: boyfriend is saying. Because yeah, I mean, you guys have
Speaker 1: been together for a long time, you have a beautiful blessing,
Speaker 1: and you have joint account, so that shows already some
Speaker 1: type of commitment. A lot of men don't even do that, Okay,
Speaker 1: so that I get what he's saying. For him, it's
Speaker 1: kind of like, well, we're already here. Where are we
Speaker 1: did all of this? Like what's the purpose? The purpose
Speaker 1: is that you want it, and you absolutely one hundred
Speaker 1: percent deserve that. Now, if you don't want to lose him,
Speaker 1: I would be a little careful with how you word
Speaker 1: your ultimatum. I do think that it's okay for you
Speaker 1: to say, hey, I would love to get married. I
Speaker 1: and all the reasons that you just stated are completely valid.
Speaker 1: You never had your kinsigneta, et cetera, et cetera. Like
Speaker 1: you want a party, you want to feel like a
Speaker 1: princess for a day, You absolutely we all deserve that's
Speaker 1: what you want, absolutely, especially if you gave him a
Speaker 1: child like look, I gave you a gift, the biggest
Speaker 1: gift of your life, this beautiful jinney. Doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be a big ring, it doesn't have to be this
Speaker 1: huge thing. I just I want that. I want the dress.
Speaker 1: I want to give our relationship that blessing in our child.
Speaker 1: Maybe give it to him that way. Maybe you guys
Speaker 1: can even do like a couple's therapy session together and
Speaker 1: explain this with someone mediating, because sometimes when it's coming
Speaker 1: from us, we don't deliver our message correctly or they
Speaker 1: don't even listen to us because it's coming from us.
Speaker 1: But if someone else is mediating, like a therapist a counselor,
Speaker 1: and you express this and they're able to express it
Speaker 1: to him in a different way, then maybe it'll sink in.
Speaker 1: But I have no issue with ultimatoes. I feel like
Speaker 1: we are here to enjoy our lives to the best
Speaker 1: way that we can. And if that's what you want,
Speaker 1: then you should get that. And you have to give
Speaker 1: yourself your place in order for other people to respect it,
Speaker 1: especially your partner. And you don't have to be mean
Speaker 1: about it. It's just say, hey, I want this within
Speaker 1: the next two years. Please really think about it. If not,
Speaker 1: then you're also going to have to make a decision destiny,
Speaker 1: you know, if that's really what you want. So I
Speaker 1: hope everything works out. And again, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: You are so sweet. I love you. Okay, so our
Speaker 1: next question comes from Velva Hi Cheeky's.
Speaker 4: I just want to let you know first off that
Speaker 4: I'm a huge fan of yours. Everything that you do,
Speaker 4: your books, your music, your podcasts. I think you are
Speaker 4: an amazing representation for Latina's and so just kudos to
Speaker 4: you for doing the damn thing. I'm reaching out to
Speaker 4: you for advice because I am an aspiring drag performer.
Speaker 4: I want to break you out into the local drag
Speaker 4: scene here in my town, and it's something I've been
Speaker 4: talking about for months and I finally have the opportunity.
Speaker 4: A local queen reached out to me and said they
Speaker 4: want to book me for their show. And now that
Speaker 4: it's becoming real, I am absolutely terrified, and I think
Speaker 4: like my confidence is shaken all of a sudden, and
Speaker 4: I'm doubting if I could really do it. So I
Speaker 4: guess I'm just wondering if you have any advice for
Speaker 4: I guess just not doubting myself or anybody that's trying
Speaker 4: something different. How do we find the confidence to push
Speaker 4: through and do it? Anyway, Thank you for your time.
Speaker 1: Velva, Thank you so much. That is so sweet.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: We're on the right track. Guys. It makes me so happy. Okay, look,
Speaker 1: I think you just need to do it. Okay, it's
Speaker 1: okay to be nervous. You have to just face fear
Speaker 1: in the face and say, I'm not gonna let you
Speaker 1: keep me from something you've been dreaming about for so long. Like,
Speaker 1: now that it's here, I get it. I always call
Speaker 1: it the enemy. I call it like the dark vibes,
Speaker 1: the dark energy that wants to come in and stop
Speaker 1: you from reaching your goals. I always feel like when
Speaker 1: you're about to do something great, you get like tested
Speaker 1: in some way. You know, it's like that dark energy
Speaker 1: that comes and wants to switch your mind. And of course,
Speaker 1: because you're gonna be performing, your confidence because you need
Speaker 1: confidence to go out there and do this. But the
Speaker 1: cool thing about drag is that you have an alter
Speaker 1: ego and that's what helps me. There's Jinney and then
Speaker 1: there's Cheeky's. I put on my extensions, I go on
Speaker 1: stage and I'm just like, okay, now it's time to
Speaker 1: turn on the bad bitch. Of course, you're going to
Speaker 1: have like your drag name and everything, so it's like
Speaker 1: putting on a costume and just saying I'm going out there,
Speaker 1: I could be a completely different person and Velva can
Speaker 1: still be Velva and do her thing and be more chill,
Speaker 1: and then my drag queen can just be out there
Speaker 1: and do the damn thing. So I think you just
Speaker 1: need to do it. And maybe the first one you are,
Speaker 1: I don't know, your ladies are going to be shaking.
Speaker 1: Might not be perfect, but it's okay. That's how you learn,
Speaker 1: that's how you grow. Like you have to be okay
Speaker 1: with saying okay, maybe the first time wasn't perfect. When
Speaker 1: I went on stage, you think it was perfect. No,
Speaker 1: Now that I look back, I'm like, damn, I love
Speaker 1: to know how far I've come. That's growth. Like I
Speaker 1: love to show people that I could do it, so
Speaker 1: I know you could do it. Just keep all of
Speaker 1: that in mind. I think you just need to do it, girl,
Speaker 1: Just do it. That's so exciting. I'm so excited for you.
Speaker 1: And it's okay. It's okay if you're feeling a little nervous,
Speaker 1: if you're like shaking in your boots, that is all
Speaker 1: normal and part of the process and part of this journey,
Speaker 1: especially right before going on stage where you're going to
Speaker 1: feel like you want to throw up, but it's all
Speaker 1: good once you get up there. I don't know what happens,
Speaker 1: but then the lights are on and the music and
Speaker 1: you're just you'll see it's in you. You're going to
Speaker 1: be just fine, So just do it. Okay. So our
Speaker 1: next question comes from Stephanie.
Speaker 5: Hi Chiki's I hope you are having a wonderful day today.
Speaker 5: I first want to start off by saying, thank you
Speaker 5: so much for having this podcast and allowing us to
Speaker 5: be able to ask you questions and you respond to us.
Speaker 5: We know that we love to get advice from the
Speaker 5: people who we truly love, adore, and admire, and girl,
Speaker 5: we love you so much, so thank you so so
Speaker 5: much for that. Also, I think you're so so beautiful,
Speaker 5: and I just wanted you to know that I love
Speaker 5: you and your family so much. Okay, my question is
Speaker 5: I am a very shy person. I always complain about
Speaker 5: being alone and not having someone, but then when guys
Speaker 5: come my way, I'm so shy and I don't respond
Speaker 5: or I don't go forward with it.
Speaker 6: I don't know why I'm just so shy. So my
Speaker 6: question is how can I stop being so shy and
Speaker 6: how can I put myself out there and actually date
Speaker 6: because it's so hard for me. I don't know why,
Speaker 6: I'm just so shy. Thank you so much, girl, I
Speaker 6: love you.
Speaker 1: You guys are gonna make me cry today. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much, Stephanie. Oh my god, you guys are the sweetest.
Speaker 1: I love you guys, and I love that you guys
Speaker 1: are loving my podcast and just taking the time to
Speaker 1: leave your questions like you guys have no idea how
Speaker 1: much it makes me happy. Okay, So Stephanie, I get it.
Speaker 1: I think that's cute that you're shy, and a lot
Speaker 1: of guys like that. Okay, I think like a lot
Speaker 1: of guys like shyness. You could be shy but be confident,
Speaker 1: like just say I know who I am, I know
Speaker 1: what I bring to the table. You don't have to
Speaker 1: say it, but like you just give off that energy
Speaker 1: because you should know that, like, yeah, I'm shy, I'm cute,
Speaker 1: I'm a little quiet, but I'm confident in who I am.
Speaker 1: That is very different from being shy. So if you're shy,
Speaker 1: it's okay. I think that you just need to take
Speaker 1: the risk. If you you want a partner, if you
Speaker 1: want a companion, then you need to respond. Girl, you're
Speaker 1: asking the universe for this. They're delivering. God is delivering.
Speaker 1: Your angels are delivering. The universe is delivering. So you
Speaker 1: just have to move forward and just say, hey, like
Speaker 1: you have to just take the risk, even if you
Speaker 1: are shitting your pants, okay, like you have to go
Speaker 1: on the date. You have to respond. They had the
Speaker 1: g like, let yourself be loved. Don't block yourself from that,
Speaker 1: because if you keep doing it and not responding or
Speaker 1: not going on these dates or really trying this, then
Speaker 1: the universe is going to think that you, Okay, she's
Speaker 1: not ready, so let me just not send her anyone.
Speaker 1: So do it, shy, go on these dates. Even if
Speaker 1: you're a little quiet, if maybe taking a shot, you know,
Speaker 1: of tequila makes you feel a little bit better, do that.
Speaker 1: There are like stress pills, not stress pills, gummies that
Speaker 1: I've taken that just ease your stress levels and it
Speaker 1: helps with anxiety. And you gotta like just do it
Speaker 1: and be yourself. If you are shy, that is who
Speaker 1: you are, Like you are going to meet the right
Speaker 1: person for you and is going to love that shyness.
Speaker 1: But if you don't try it and you keep blocking it, Like,
Speaker 1: how how tell me? How is it gonna happen?
Speaker 6: Girl?
Speaker 1: How? So girl? Go on these dates? Okay, be yourself.
Speaker 1: Be yourself. That's what always works and should always like.
Speaker 1: Whoever's gonna end up with you should love you for
Speaker 1: who you are. So be yourself. That is my biggest
Speaker 1: and best advice. Okay, okay, So our next question comes
Speaker 1: from an anonymous listener.
Speaker 2: Hey, Cheeky's, how are you girl? Your body is looking amazing.
Speaker 2: I'm in love with it.
Speaker 7: Well, let me keep it short and simple. So I'm
Speaker 7: struggling financially, but I'm also an emotional spender and it
Speaker 7: sucks because I stress and I want to spend even
Speaker 7: if cinema stamnbolata, and then I feel guilty for spending it,
Speaker 7: and I don't know how to control myself.
Speaker 6: Any tips?
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you for your question, anonymous listener. When you
Speaker 1: guys can and let's it's like a really secret question
Speaker 1: that you guys don't want people to know that it's
Speaker 1: you guys, leave your name because I would love to
Speaker 1: call you by your name, you know. But okay, but
Speaker 1: in regards to your question, I get that. I get
Speaker 1: it because I was like that for a very long time,
Speaker 1: so I understand. I think that you have to be
Speaker 1: very adamant about saving. I always tell you guys this,
Speaker 1: like for a rainy day, you never know what will happen,
Speaker 1: even if it's five dollars in your savings account where
Speaker 1: you're absolutely I cannot touch it. I promise myself, I
Speaker 1: promise God that I'm not going to touch this, no
Speaker 1: matter how much I want this purse, whatever it may be.
Speaker 1: I think that it's important for us to really be
Speaker 1: good stewards of our money, not be cheap, not be
Speaker 1: go goos, but be good stewards. What does that mean? Like, Okay,
Speaker 1: when God is blessing us with a job, with you know,
Speaker 1: our finances, like our money, we should be able to
Speaker 1: take care of that because it comes and it goes.
Speaker 1: So that's what you have to kind of switch your mindset.
Speaker 1: And that's what I did, where I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: right now, things are going great and I'm very grateful
Speaker 1: for and I can buy it, you know, this thing
Speaker 1: that I don't necessarily need. But what if tomorrow I can't,
Speaker 1: Let me not buy this thing that I really don't need,
Speaker 1: and let me just save that money just in case,
Speaker 1: because what if something happens that I really need the money.
Speaker 1: I like to live in the present absolutely and enjoy
Speaker 1: my life right now. A lot of people say, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna take the money when I leave, like
Speaker 1: leave the earth is what I mean. But we also
Speaker 1: have to be responsible. I know it's hard, I know
Speaker 1: it's it's it's difficult, but then it's I don't know,
Speaker 1: you just gotta just hold it and just say, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm not going to I'm doing this for
Speaker 1: my future self. I'm doing this and I'm saving this
Speaker 1: one dollar for my future self because you know what,
Speaker 1: I don't really need this. So it's gonna take time, Okay.
Speaker 1: It's giving yourself therapy and asking yourself questions and going
Speaker 1: to the store and saying do I really need this?
Speaker 1: Come on, is this a luxury or is this a necessity?
Speaker 1: Ask yourself that. Okay. So I hope that helped. So
Speaker 1: with that being said, to Destiny, Velva, Stephanie, and my
Speaker 1: lovely anonymous listener, thank you guys so much for your questions.
Speaker 1: I very very much enjoyed them, and thank you guys
Speaker 1: so much for your support and for trusting me with
Speaker 1: your issues. Okay, at Tolos. I created Dear Cheeky's as
Speaker 1: a way to connect with you guys on a personal level,
Speaker 1: and I really look forward to hearing from you every week.
Speaker 1: You can leave me your questions at speakpipe dot com,
Speaker 1: Slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts. I would love to hear
Speaker 1: from all of you, Okay, let's kiro mucho. This is
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Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Michaeldura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's
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