1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: Booked a call with a TikTok coach and it went 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:04,200 Speaker 1: viral almost immediately, and. 3 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:05,440 Speaker 2: I was like, this is it. This is what I'm 4 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 2: supposed to be doing. 5 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: Anybody that does something to land themselves in jail for 6 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,480 Speaker 1: a month is not somebody you should be dating. 7 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 3: What does this person from the moment you meet them? 8 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,960 Speaker 3: What are they doing to your nervous system? 9 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,600 Speaker 1: Most of the time women can't let go of what 10 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: doesn't serve them anymore, and they don't realize if I 11 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:28,920 Speaker 1: just let oh of this, I'm going to create so 12 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: much space for what I really want to come into 13 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: my life. 14 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 3: Oh I really want these butterflies and the excitement they 15 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 3: use to dating traumatic men. 16 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 2: If it's not working out Shift Gears. 17 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 3: I'm Radi Wukiah and on my podcast a Really Good Cry, 18 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 3: we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space 19 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 3: for raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you 20 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 3: to tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together. 21 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 3: So I want to know, Wow, you got started and 22 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 3: what brought you to the genie or now. 23 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 1: I always knew I wanted to do something creative since 24 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 1: I was a very little kid, and I knew I 25 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 1: loved performing and telling stories, and I was a theater kid, 26 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: and you know, I think my parents always said, like, 27 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,839 Speaker 1: you should allow your children to do what they want 28 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,199 Speaker 1: to do, because if they want to do something, it's. 29 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 2: Very likely that they're good at it. 30 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 1: And that rang pretty true for me because I was 31 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: really terrible at math and science and all the things 32 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:34,960 Speaker 1: that Asian immigrant kids are supposed to be good at. 33 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 1: All of their friends who had come over from China 34 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: around the same generation and had children around my age, 35 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: they were all getting full scores on their SATs in 36 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,120 Speaker 1: eighth grade when they were taking early SAT exams and everything, 37 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 1: and I just I was academically decent, but I was 38 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: never a genius when it came to be like reading 39 00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:00,120 Speaker 1: and everything like that. So I just kind of real 40 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: just like, I'm not into sports, I'm not into math 41 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 1: and sciences. I was actually very good at writing and 42 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 1: I like performing, and so that kind of hits you 43 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 1: at a young age and you kind of realize you 44 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: like that. So I went to college always knowing like 45 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: I kind of wanted to be a performer, but I 46 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 1: didn't really know what. So I tried out the singer's 47 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: songwriter route, for about twenty five seconds, and I realized 48 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: I was like, this is not it. I don't have 49 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: a great voice, nor can I write amazing songs. So 50 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,000 Speaker 1: then I was like, I'm going to be an actress. 51 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 1: And I left NYU with a liberal arts degree with 52 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: the intention of giving myself the next eight years to 53 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: try making it as an actress. And it was an 54 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: incredibly unstable eight years, but you know, I learned a 55 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: lot and through that I was also trying to find 56 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: a husband, and so there was a lot of instability. 57 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:52,920 Speaker 1: I did a lot of gigwork, a lot of jobs 58 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: I didn't want to do. Eventually, I did find my 59 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,080 Speaker 1: way into real estate, which was a great kind of 60 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: day job because it gave me the flexibil to go 61 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:04,639 Speaker 1: on auditions, but also gave me somewhat of a stable income. 62 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 1: By the time I met my husband, I was on 63 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: pretty solid ground in terms of, like my finances, which 64 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: was really important, and I honestly think that that gave 65 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 1: me so much confidence in my late twenties to be like, 66 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: I would love a man in my life right now, 67 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:20,959 Speaker 1: but I can take care of myself and I can 68 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 1: save money, and I don't need somebody to take care 69 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:28,920 Speaker 1: of me like that. And I think when you feel 70 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: confident in yourself and what you have to offer, you 71 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 1: walk into a first date so much more relaxed and 72 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: so much more yourself like I would like to have this, 73 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: but I don't need this, And I think the timing 74 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: was right. And so by the time we got together, 75 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: I was in my late twenties, he was in He 76 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: was thirty four, and then the pandemic hit and everything 77 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: went to utter shit. I was working in real estate 78 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: and I was an actress, which are two very non 79 00:03:55,960 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: COVID friendly jobs. And then we moved to Connecticut because 80 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: that's where his job was, and you know, we didn't 81 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 1: want him commuting on the train and everything, and so 82 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 1: I kind of had a lonother quarter life crisis at 83 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: thirty and I was like, what am I going to do? 84 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 1: Like auditions ground to a halt. I didn't have my 85 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: real estate job anymore because we were in a different 86 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: place and real estate is very local. So I did 87 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: what any practical thirty year old would do. Instead of 88 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,360 Speaker 1: getting my real estate license and starting over in a 89 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 1: new state, I was like, I'm. 90 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 2: Going to start a blog. 91 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,239 Speaker 1: I started a word press of all things in twenty twenty, 92 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 1: when everyone's already getting on TikTok, right, everyone's blowing up 93 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: on TikTok. I was just like, I think word press 94 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,040 Speaker 1: and Instagram is the way to go. And I started 95 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,840 Speaker 1: off trying to do home decorp because I didn't want 96 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: to be on camera because I think, to me, I 97 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: love design and everything. But it almost felt safer to 98 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: me because I was like, I'm not showing my face, 99 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: and so it's almost like if it doesn't do well, 100 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: it's like my face, and I didn't have to be 101 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 1: as vulnerable. It was just like my designs right. And 102 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,560 Speaker 1: then I was like, I can't redecorate my living room 103 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 1: eight thousand times. I have so much respect for home 104 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:10,479 Speaker 1: day core bloggers who just continuously come up with these 105 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:15,039 Speaker 1: magical creations like Lone Fox Home the way he just 106 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: like does his house over and over again. He's like, 107 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,719 Speaker 1: I found this vintage piece on the back of like 108 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 1: a horse and buggy and Amish country, and I just say, 109 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, that's incredible. And that's just 110 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: like a passion and a love for it that I 111 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: just didn't have. I was like, okay, so what next. 112 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 1: So then I was like, well, everybody's doing fashion. So 113 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,160 Speaker 1: I tried to do fashion for a bit that also 114 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: didn't work out, and so I probably should have quit. 115 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: Honestly many times. I was two years in basically and 116 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 1: to very little fruition. I think I had like twenty 117 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,280 Speaker 1: five hundred followers, about a thousand of those for people 118 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: I knew, and I didn't know what was going on, 119 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:54,840 Speaker 1: and so I just. 120 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,160 Speaker 2: Booked a call with a TikTok coach. 121 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,159 Speaker 1: I was like, let's see what I'm doing wrong, right, 122 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: and she goes, I think you should start talking to 123 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,160 Speaker 1: camera because you have the personality to talk to camera, 124 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,920 Speaker 1: Like you should not be doing these fashion reels where 125 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: nobody hears you, and why don't you try that? 126 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 2: Tell a story? 127 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, what do I you know, 128 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 1: it's like when you get to a certain age, like 129 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,040 Speaker 1: what am I good at? So I was like, I 130 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,159 Speaker 1: had a lot of crazy dating experiences and I know 131 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: how to do my makeup. 132 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 2: So I just did that. 133 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:24,599 Speaker 1: I told a story and it went viral almost immediately, 134 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,279 Speaker 1: and I am very quick to change course when I 135 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 1: realized I need to, and I was like, this is it, 136 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: this is what I'm supposed to be doing, and it's 137 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: just been crazy since it's been two years. 138 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:34,719 Speaker 2: Two years. 139 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:38,479 Speaker 3: Props to your parents for being so open to you 140 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 3: doing what you love versus what they might have expected 141 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,600 Speaker 3: you to do. So that's actually quite I feel like, 142 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:48,280 Speaker 3: especially in Asian communities, South Asian and I'm sure your community. 143 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,600 Speaker 2: There is where we are from the same. 144 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, really, arts, is that really what you 145 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 3: want to do? Like anything creative is kind of like hmm, 146 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 3: But that's so wonderful that they really encouraged you in that, 147 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 3: and that makes such a difference. 148 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,839 Speaker 2: They always supported me. I think they were very worried 149 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 2: by the way they want like, oh yeah, it'll be fine. 150 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 3: Yeah. 151 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,279 Speaker 1: They were like this is not great, especially in your 152 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: early twenties, mid twenties. 153 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 2: You she'll figure it out. 154 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 1: My dad was like I always just assumed you would 155 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: hit thirty and if it didn't work out, you would 156 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,080 Speaker 1: just go get a sales job. 157 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 2: Everybody was always like, go get a job in sales. 158 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, because you like to talk, right, I was 159 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: like selling what, Like, there's nothing that I'm that passionate 160 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: about in terms of like somebody told me to be 161 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 1: like go into pharma sales. I was like that's so boring, 162 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 1: you know, so you know it's but they were very nervous. 163 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: I think they just realized I was also so stubborn 164 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 1: that I was. 165 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 2: Never going to do it anyway. 166 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, so it obviously worked out, but it was a 167 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: long It was a long journey together. I was thirty 168 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 1: two before I made a dime off of social media 169 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: and being a creative. And so it's like, I think 170 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: when people get discouraged because it's not happening, it's like, 171 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 1: don't quit before you get there. Like if magine, if 172 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: i'd quit a year before I went viral, that would 173 00:07:58,480 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: have been the final stop. 174 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 3: But's so good that you're so aware of when you 175 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 3: need to change course and that you still have the 176 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 3: motivation to keep doing that, like looking back and reflecting 177 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 3: what was it that allowed you to keep changing course 178 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 3: and still having belief in what you were doing, Because, 179 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 3: like you said, most people would quit. What stopped you 180 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 3: from quitting? 181 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 1: Not having another choice is actually really good because I 182 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 1: honestly think that sometimes when you have a backup plan, 183 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: you just fall back on that backup. 184 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 3: Plan feel safer. 185 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. 186 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: So I'm not saying be fiscally irresponsible. I'm just saying 187 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 1: that you know, don't have a comfortable job that you 188 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: can live with but you don't love as a backup plan, 189 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,440 Speaker 1: because if it's not working out and what you love, 190 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 1: oftentimes you will just fall back and stay there. I 191 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 1: think the other thing too, is that I saw my 192 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 1: parents come to this country and make it from impossible circumstances, 193 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: and I always had that in the back of my 194 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 1: mind that if they could make it here with far 195 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 1: less resources than I had and far less support. 196 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 2: Then it was going to be okay. 197 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 1: That whatever I was going to do was not ever 198 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,840 Speaker 1: going to be as catastrophic as what they would have 199 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: endured if they had lost in their life. And for 200 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,840 Speaker 1: me it was also like, I think the biggest thing too, 201 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 1: for anybody who's a creative or anybody who's an entrepreneur 202 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 1: or has a crazy idea that doesn't fit convention, the 203 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 1: biggest thing you have to lose is actually your ego 204 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,440 Speaker 1: and your pride. Yeah, that is the toughest thing to 205 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,600 Speaker 1: have to swallow. It's not so much the fact it's 206 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 1: like time spent on creating content or whatever. It's time 207 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: spent on creating content and putting it out into the 208 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: world and not having it do well and knowing that 209 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 1: maybe the people in your life are. 210 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:47,439 Speaker 3: Like, ooh, you know exactly exactly, and everybody experiences that 211 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 3: in the beginning. 212 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: Everybody experiences that shame and just you know, I had 213 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 1: plenty of situations for that first two years. 214 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 2: People would ask me what I'm doing, and. 215 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 1: I remember thinking, oh, it would be so much easier 216 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 1: if I was just a housewife, Like that would make 217 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,120 Speaker 1: sense to people because I have something to say, yeah, like, oh. 218 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 2: I've I've stopped working. 219 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 1: I've had children, and my husband works, and you know, 220 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 1: we were lucky enough in the sense that he worked 221 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: and could support our family. But I was like, that's 222 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 1: just not the life I want. And so I would 223 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,440 Speaker 1: go out and hang out at these parties with people 224 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 1: we knew, and they'd be like, what are you doing 225 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 1: now that you've moved to Connecticut. 226 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm blogging and you just see that, you know. 227 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 3: Oh wow, that is amazing blog. 228 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: About I'm like it is just like then the word vomit, 229 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,080 Speaker 1: you know, the scramble comes out. 230 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 2: And so I'm not saying I didn't feel the shame. 231 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 2: It's just that at some. 232 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: Point I knew that I was afraid of shame and 233 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: afraid of not being successful and what I wanted to do. 234 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,599 Speaker 1: But I would be more afraid of the regret I 235 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 1: would feel if I didn't do it exactly. So it's 236 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,560 Speaker 1: all about more what do you fear more? I think 237 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 1: a lot of people are like, oh, how are you 238 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 1: so confident? And like how did you have like how 239 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: did you get rid of all that self doubt? 240 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,079 Speaker 2: I have self doubt. 241 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:14,400 Speaker 1: Every day and day every moment, you know, even here now. 242 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 1: It's like you think you make it to a certain point, right. 243 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 1: I never thought I would have a million followers on 244 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: any platform combined anything. 245 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 2: I was just hoping for ten thousand. 246 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 3: Yeah. 247 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what was my base. 248 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 1: And you think, oh, if I ever made it there, 249 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 1: I would just be happy forever. 250 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,320 Speaker 2: I would feel calm forever. 251 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 1: I mean, you never thought you would be here, right, 252 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 1: And it's not ten years ago you had told twenty 253 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,320 Speaker 1: four year Oldrana you'd be here. You'd be like, I 254 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: would never have a bad day in my life, right, 255 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:46,080 Speaker 1: But like you told me yesterday, you cry almost every week. 256 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:49,040 Speaker 3: Yeah that is fair, right. 257 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 1: And it's not just sound ungrateful because obviously we have 258 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 1: attained a certain level of discomfort that we didn't experience 259 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: a long time ago. But it's like it is just 260 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: to say that everybody struggles and just because you've you know, 261 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,240 Speaker 1: the goalpost keeps. 262 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 3: Moving definitely, And I think it's just testament too. And 263 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,600 Speaker 3: I think the confidence also comes by the way, as 264 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 3: knows happen in your life, the fact that you keep 265 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,719 Speaker 3: getting up, that actually builds confidence. It's not necessarily other 266 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 3: people what they're saying to you. It's not the same 267 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,960 Speaker 3: people that asked what you were doing three years ago 268 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,079 Speaker 3: and you're feeling uncomfortable with them saying, Wow, what you're 269 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 3: doing now is amazing. That actually doesn't real confidence. What 270 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,800 Speaker 3: builds confidence is when things don't go right, how you 271 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 3: then react to them, and then you keep going and 272 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 3: going and going. And I find the process and actually 273 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,839 Speaker 3: being active is what builds confidence rather than just sitting 274 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,440 Speaker 3: back and giving up. And so I think that's basically 275 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 3: what you've done, which is incredible. 276 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 1: Thank you, and I've tried, and you know, there's to 277 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: that point, there's a really inspirational quote from Muhammad Ali 278 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,200 Speaker 1: that I'm going to completely mess up, but he had 279 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,679 Speaker 1: just lost a big fight or something. And I always 280 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 1: remember this because I don't know. Boxing is just like 281 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 1: you know, you win or you lose. It's such a 282 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,840 Speaker 1: high stakes game. You're getting punch for a living. And 283 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 1: he had just lost a big fight and he was 284 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: just basically saying, you know, it's important for my fans 285 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,440 Speaker 1: to see me lose because they will also lose in 286 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 1: their life, and it's important for them to see how 287 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 1: I handle loss and how I come back from it. 288 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,800 Speaker 1: And then he would go on to win the next 289 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,800 Speaker 1: couple of fights. But it's like I always remember that. 290 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 3: It's like, oh gracious, yeah. 291 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 2: Exactly, and sometimes not graciously. 292 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not gracious a lot of the time, 293 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 1: but figuring out how to get back up. I think 294 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 1: your character is really what you do when things are 295 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:34,520 Speaker 1: not going well for you. 296 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:37,199 Speaker 2: It's so easy to be a great person. 297 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: And emanate kindness and love when you know everything's going 298 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 1: your way, But when things aren't going your way, who 299 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:43,680 Speaker 1: are you? 300 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 2: And that's who you are? 301 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to switch gears a little bit because 302 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 3: I need to know some horrific dating stories that have 303 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 3: happened to you that have inspired you know who? I 304 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:57,080 Speaker 3: love hearing about Chad all the Chads, well, whoever's called 305 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 3: Chad in the world is now got you to thanks 306 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,480 Speaker 3: for their popularity, because I'm not saying they've got a 307 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 3: good name, but they're definitely popular now because of you. 308 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 2: I feel very badly for all the good chats out there. 309 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: I apologize, not in advance, because the damage is done, 310 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:16,560 Speaker 1: but I apologize. I think my dating stories are not 311 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 1: dissimilar to most women's dating stories in their twenties in 312 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,720 Speaker 1: any major city. I just think because I dated so 313 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: many people, I maybe had more experiences to draw from, 314 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 1: and that was purely because I just couldn't find a 315 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 1: guy to align with that maybe I really wanted to 316 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 1: be with a guy and he didn't really want to 317 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 1: be with me or couldn't be with me for several reasons, 318 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 1: and maybe he wanted to be with me the next guy, 319 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 1: but I didn't know if I wanted to be with him, 320 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: and there was a lot of exploration, and I don't 321 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: think I was ready for the marriage and the relationship 322 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: that I thought I was in my early twenties. But 323 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:57,440 Speaker 1: I think I was very attracted to traumatize people in 324 00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,520 Speaker 1: my early twenties. I'll tell you a story. So when 325 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 1: I was I think twenty three, right, out of college. 326 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 1: Tinder had just come on the market and dating aps 327 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 1: were really popular, and I went on a date with 328 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 1: a guy who was almost a decade older than me. 329 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 1: I think he was like I was twenty three, he 330 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:16,480 Speaker 1: was thirty two. Yea, and that was my age range. 331 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 1: I said anything within ten years, I'll do anything beyond that. 332 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 1: I was like, eh, I think, is. 333 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 3: That when you really started thinking about dating someone for 334 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 3: long term? 335 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 2: Oh, I was always pretty. 336 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 1: When he was the girl in high school that I 337 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 1: was like, it'd be great if I just found my husband. Now, 338 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: I've never been casual, so I knew I was always 339 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 1: looking for my husband. I go on a date with 340 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 1: this guy. He's great on paper, really good looking, quite charming, 341 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: and then pretty early into the date, maybe half an 342 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 1: hour in, he tells me that he's been to jail before. 343 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 1: And he's not saying it in a way that like 344 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 1: he's ashamed of it. He's almost kind of like bragging 345 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 1: because on paper he's so clean cut, he's a finance 346 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:56,640 Speaker 1: bro and he's and I was like very intrigued because 347 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 1: obviously that's not what I was expecting. And you knew 348 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 1: that that it's like kind of almost a source of 349 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: pride for him and that should have been a red 350 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 1: flag to me, like, maybe don't. 351 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 2: And because then I. 352 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: Asked him, I was like, what were you in jail for? 353 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,720 Speaker 1: And it was actually not anything crazy. It was marijuana 354 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:15,240 Speaker 1: was very, very heavily policed fifteen years ago. So he 355 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 1: was on his college campus and he got caught. 356 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,120 Speaker 3: That was his bad boycott. 357 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,160 Speaker 2: That was his bad boycott. 358 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 3: I'm in finance, but I know. 359 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 1: He was like, I'm trying to be different, right, And 360 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, like, maybe don't date a man 361 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 1: who needs to lead with his you know, prison rectory. 362 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 2: I was like, does your So it. 363 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,880 Speaker 1: Was really interesting because it was like does your company 364 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 1: know that? So then it got worse too, because okay, 365 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 1: so I had an auntie be like, why are you 366 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 1: dating this man? So he was like yeah, So I 367 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,960 Speaker 1: got arrested for having weed on me and whatever, went 368 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 1: to court. They put me on probation. They were like, okay, 369 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: just whatever, do community service, all of that. Just don't 370 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 1: get into trouble for the next three months. And then 371 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,400 Speaker 1: he was like, but then I got into a bar 372 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 1: fight outside of my front house within that probation period. 373 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 1: The cops came and then they saw that I was 374 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 1: already in probation and then I got thrown into jail 375 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 1: for a month. That's not an insignificant amount of time. 376 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 1: It was like he was in a holding cell for twenty. 377 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,640 Speaker 2: Four hours, right exactly. 378 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: So my you know, friend's mom, who was like a 379 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:20,159 Speaker 1: second mom to me, was like, anybody that does something 380 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 1: to land themselves in jail for a month. 381 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,400 Speaker 2: Is not somebody you should be dating. 382 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 1: She's like, I don't care that it was technically weed 383 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,440 Speaker 1: and technically because he like punched somebody, It's like, don't 384 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 1: date men that get into bar fights, Like that's just it, right, 385 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 1: But there was something intriguing about that because I don't know. 386 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,760 Speaker 1: I guess I just didn't like healthy men. 387 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 3: What did you learn about like from when you started 388 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,679 Speaker 3: dating in that time, so maybe in the last decade 389 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,800 Speaker 3: of dating before you found your husband, What did you 390 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 3: learn about yourself in that dating experience of what you 391 00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 3: were looking for? And two, how did you change? Because 392 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,880 Speaker 3: let me tell you, so many of my friends and 393 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 3: like i'd say, most of the women that I know, 394 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 3: have this experience of going for men that are either 395 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 3: emotionally unstable, erratic in their emotions, possessive, you know, all 396 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 3: the kind of red flags that would come up, but 397 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 3: being okay with them because oh, you know what, they've 398 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 3: got good heart, or oh they're a little bit exciting. Yeah, 399 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 3: so how did you go? But they're struggling now to 400 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 3: find the man that they really want to settle down 401 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 3: with because they've got in the habit of wanting that. 402 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,159 Speaker 3: So how did you get out of that? And what 403 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 3: was the shift for you on really realizing that that's 404 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 3: not what you wanted. 405 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,439 Speaker 1: I think for me, what I really realized that I 406 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,280 Speaker 1: was looking to save a man so that I wouldn't 407 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,240 Speaker 1: have to save myself. I was hoping that if I 408 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 1: saved my boyfriend, he would then in turn save me, 409 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 1: and then I wouldn't have to face whatever it was 410 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,720 Speaker 1: I was avoiding. And I think a lot of women 411 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,439 Speaker 1: do that because it's so much easier to focus on 412 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,159 Speaker 1: somebody else up than it is to focus. 413 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,199 Speaker 2: On your problems. 414 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,879 Speaker 1: And it was only when I'm I met my husband 415 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,959 Speaker 1: was I really able to just hear the voices inside 416 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,919 Speaker 1: my head. Fully, I always knew that I'd struggled with 417 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,360 Speaker 1: mental health, but not to the degree that I realized 418 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,600 Speaker 1: it once I met my husband. Because Dave was like, 419 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 1: I don't need you to fix me. I got my 420 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 1: own stuff, you know, but you're you know, we're good. 421 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,040 Speaker 1: I am working on me. You do you And for 422 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 1: the first time in a decade, it was silent, and 423 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 1: I didn't love what I hear. 424 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 3: So I think that's the number one question, honestly that 425 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,360 Speaker 3: most people have, is like how do you go from 426 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 3: a bad boy like wanting to be with a bad guy, 427 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:36,919 Speaker 3: but I wouldn't say bad guy. Yeah, it's like a 428 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 3: bad boy too, wanting a real man, well, like a 429 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 3: good a good human that's actually going to treat you well, 430 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 3: versus wanting to fix somebody. And I think as women, 431 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,200 Speaker 3: a lot of people fixed. A lot of women are fixes. 432 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 1: They're fixers because we've been taught that that's almost how 433 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,159 Speaker 1: we're going to get them, like that's our value, you know, 434 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,760 Speaker 1: we're nurturing, Like, oh, if you take care of them, 435 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,960 Speaker 1: eventually they'll take care of you. And that's not always 436 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:03,160 Speaker 1: the case at all. So that's something I had to unlearned. 437 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: But I kind of realized that through the process of 438 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,720 Speaker 1: dating all these guys, I was like, I'm never going 439 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,560 Speaker 1: to find what I want, which is stability, and I 440 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 1: don't think you have to sacrifice excitement for a good man. 441 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,440 Speaker 1: I think that's the thing. It's like social media makes yeah, 442 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 1: social media make things very black and white, and they're 443 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 1: always like, oh, you can go for the nerdy, good 444 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:25,520 Speaker 1: stable man, or you can go for the tortured ht 445 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 1: or whatever guy who doesn't really want It's like, guys, 446 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 1: there's yes, those men exist, but there's a whole range 447 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 1: of men who are attractive who want to do really 448 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 1: exciting things with you. And like, also, it's like, define 449 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:43,199 Speaker 1: excitement right. For me, excitement in my twenties was just 450 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,000 Speaker 1: not quite knowing where everything stood. And you know, he's 451 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:49,199 Speaker 1: spontaneous and would you know, be like, let's just go 452 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: to Miami or something for the weekend. And like, for me, 453 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: excitement now And what I learned in my late twenties 454 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,439 Speaker 1: is like excitement is a man who has a goal 455 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:00,719 Speaker 1: that he wants to achieve in a vision and you know, 456 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,040 Speaker 1: our lives are so crazy. 457 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,880 Speaker 2: Like he travels for work. I travel for work. 458 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 1: It's usually on short notice and that's exciting. But actually 459 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,880 Speaker 1: what I crave now at thirty four is not excitement. 460 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 1: I crave peace. And when we come home at the 461 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 1: end of the day. It's not like, all right, now, 462 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,240 Speaker 1: let's go plan the next adventure. It's like we had 463 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,159 Speaker 1: our individual adventures at work, and we are a safe space. 464 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 3: I find. So I have friends that are guys who 465 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 3: are in their thirties looking for a partner, and then 466 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,080 Speaker 3: women who are in their thirties looking for a man. 467 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,960 Speaker 3: And some of the men are still trying to like 468 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 3: they may have been bad boys when they were younger, 469 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 3: and they think that the same thing is going to 470 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 3: work for adult women now, And I'm like, you can't 471 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,320 Speaker 3: be what women were looking for when they were twenty 472 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,960 Speaker 3: Like looking after yourself now, getting therapy do one thing 473 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 3: that is what's sexy right now to women at the 474 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,719 Speaker 3: age that you're right right now in your thirties. If 475 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 3: you're a man who is trying to look after himself physically, mental, 476 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 3: and emotionally, that is attractive, right And at the same time, 477 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,120 Speaker 3: some of my girlfriends who were who are like, oh, 478 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 3: I really want this, these butterflies and the excitement. They're 479 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,280 Speaker 3: used to dating traumatic men, and so for them, when 480 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 3: you find a guy who's emotionally stable, they're like, this 481 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,840 Speaker 3: is so boring, and I'm like, no, it's not boring 482 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,280 Speaker 3: peace you it's peace, and you are confusing the two. 483 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 3: And so she'll be like, but I don't get these 484 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,680 Speaker 3: butterflies when I'm with them. I'm like, those butterflies was anxiety. Yeah, 485 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 3: it was pure anxiety. 486 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,160 Speaker 2: Trauma. That is true trauma talking to you, right. 487 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,359 Speaker 3: And they're really self sabotaging in that because they are 488 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 3: completely expecting this, like, oh, is he going to message me? 489 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,760 Speaker 3: Is he not going to message me? Is he going 490 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,639 Speaker 3: to disappear for two days? Is he not? And I'm like, 491 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,479 Speaker 3: you're looking, you're looking for somebody who's gonna be able 492 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,080 Speaker 3: to take care of you, but you're you're you're looking 493 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 3: for it in a guy who's not ready. 494 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:40,600 Speaker 2: To give it to you exactly. 495 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 3: And it is like it's so difficult to go through 496 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 3: that and realize that. And also you're right, when you're 497 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,879 Speaker 3: in your twenties, by the way, your hormones are different, 498 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 3: your hormones are raging. Everything is just different. You feel 499 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 3: excitement in different ways. So she's now like my one 500 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,440 Speaker 3: particular friend, she's gonna listen to this and be like 501 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,879 Speaker 3: I felt targeted, Well, I am targeting you with love 502 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,119 Speaker 3: with love with But she really keeps saying, She's like, 503 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,120 Speaker 3: but I don't. I don't feel how I did when 504 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 3: I first met this person at this age, and I'm like, 505 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 3: of course you're not going to. Of course you're not 506 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,560 Speaker 3: going to. When we were teenagers, everything was so different, 507 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 3: or in our twenties, it was so different. And so 508 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 3: I think it's so important what you said earlier to 509 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,440 Speaker 3: heal before you're looking for somebody, because otherwise you put 510 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,119 Speaker 3: all your trauma into that person, you put all your 511 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 3: expectations into that person, and you still feel a little 512 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 3: bit empty because you haven't filled yourself up before you're 513 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 3: coming to that relationship. And also sometimes I think that 514 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 3: I also went through a similar experience, and so for me, 515 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,680 Speaker 3: I think, instead of thinking what can I gain from 516 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,600 Speaker 3: that person, let me think about what am I serving 517 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 3: to that person? Like what am I providing in this relationship? 518 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 3: Not looking for the things that I that I want 519 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 3: in my life, but what am I bringing to the 520 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,879 Speaker 3: table before thinking about what that person is going to 521 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,520 Speaker 3: be pouring into me. I'm so sorry. Can you hear 522 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 3: my summerchea? You hear it in the audio? Everybody, I'm really. 523 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 2: Sorry, It's actually so cute. 524 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,440 Speaker 3: I'm really trying to I slip on water. I actually 525 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,199 Speaker 3: didn't have my shape this morning off my workout. So 526 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,359 Speaker 3: just letting you all know that if you hear rumbling sounds, 527 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,200 Speaker 3: it's not Anna, it's me. Okay. 528 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 2: It was very cute. It was a very cute rumbling sound. 529 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 3: When you first met your husband, How did you know 530 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:17,240 Speaker 3: that this was different. 531 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 1: I did not believe in love at first site anymore 532 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: at that point, because I'd fallen in love so many 533 00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 1: times at first sight that had proven to be not 534 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 1: you know, not to say it wasn't real love, but 535 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 1: everlasting love. So by the time I met him, I 536 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: was like, let's just see how this goes. Yeah, And 537 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,840 Speaker 1: I don't think it's a bad thing to be jaded. 538 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 1: So I went in a little bit jaded but open minded, 539 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: and I immediately felt comfortable with him. So I believe 540 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,879 Speaker 1: in comfort at first sight. And I just felt so 541 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 1: at home, like I couldn't say anything wrong and I 542 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,159 Speaker 1: didn't have to think about the next thing. You know, 543 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,920 Speaker 1: some dates you're like, oh, this man's great and he's attractive, 544 00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,120 Speaker 1: but you're kind of searching for the next thing to say. 545 00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:01,400 Speaker 1: It was just a very org again a conversation, and 546 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,879 Speaker 1: I just remember seeing him and thinking he was just 547 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,439 Speaker 1: so kind, like you know, you know, he had a 548 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:07,280 Speaker 1: kind face. 549 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 2: I don't know if in Indian culture there's like this expression. 550 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,159 Speaker 1: I know in Chinese culture there is, and there's not 551 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:17,120 Speaker 1: anything directly translated into English. But some people you can 552 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:20,360 Speaker 1: just tell like they're kind because they just look kind. 553 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,920 Speaker 1: And some people are quite manipulative, and they look manipulative, 554 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,960 Speaker 1: I don't know, and it's like he just looks kind 555 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 1: and he is kind, and I just there was no 556 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,919 Speaker 1: ulterior motive with him, you know, because you could be 557 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,640 Speaker 1: I had met a lot of guys in New York 558 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,520 Speaker 1: who were very attractive, but you can always tell they 559 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,760 Speaker 1: were just a little schemey maybe, you know, always kind 560 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:45,400 Speaker 1: of figuring out the next move and you know, making 561 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,720 Speaker 1: it too much of a game almost. And my husband 562 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,120 Speaker 1: was just always very upfront with me from the beginning. 563 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,400 Speaker 1: He never let me question and it was easy. So 564 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,400 Speaker 1: I knew pretty quickly that this was different. 565 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,639 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so true. What does this person do to 566 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:01,120 Speaker 3: your nervous system? Yes, like that's really what does this 567 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,679 Speaker 3: person from the moment you meet them, from that first 568 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,119 Speaker 3: date to the second date, to the third date, to 569 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,400 Speaker 3: the month after like what are they doing to your 570 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,919 Speaker 3: nervous system? And I think that's a really good You 571 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,679 Speaker 3: know a lot of the time with it for butterflies 572 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,680 Speaker 3: or you're looking for excitement usually comes in the mind 573 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,439 Speaker 3: where you just want to be stimulated, But like, what 574 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,679 Speaker 3: are they doing to your nerves? How do they make 575 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 3: you feel? Do they make you feel comforted and safe? 576 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,959 Speaker 3: And I think safety is a big thing. You can 577 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,679 Speaker 3: be financially safe, that's one thing, But how do they 578 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:33,560 Speaker 3: make you feel safe emotionally and in the times that 579 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 3: you would expect them to like either run or get rude, 580 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,360 Speaker 3: even in the times where you're horrible to them? How 581 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,800 Speaker 3: do they react right when you are not your kindest exactly? 582 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,399 Speaker 3: Do they try and make you feel bad for it? 583 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,240 Speaker 3: Do they try and react in a worse way than 584 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 3: you are, or do they try and settle your nerves? 585 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,159 Speaker 3: And I think that's something that we're not used to 586 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,200 Speaker 3: seeing as like a bar of a relationship, of like 587 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,440 Speaker 3: a barometer of it. 588 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think it's always like and I blame 589 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 1: Hollywood for that, arnt. Yes, I blame the fact that 590 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:07,639 Speaker 1: we were raised on these very compelling love stories that 591 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,560 Speaker 1: actually were really unhealthy depictions of Love. 592 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,040 Speaker 2: You know, it's like The Notebook. I was just about 593 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,040 Speaker 2: to say that, Okay, can we just talk about I love? 594 00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:17,840 Speaker 3: Can we talk about it? No? I love The Notebook. 595 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:21,919 Speaker 3: It is my plain film. But every time I watch it, 596 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:22,360 Speaker 3: I'm like. 597 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 1: She left Lawn, who was just like amazing, like and 598 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:28,919 Speaker 1: she's like, I'm gonna go back to this guy that 599 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,480 Speaker 1: I fought with every single week while we were together. 600 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 3: Are you always rooting for them? You're watching you? You 601 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,200 Speaker 3: can't every time. I want to not be rooting for them, 602 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,639 Speaker 3: But I'm rooting for them every single time I'm watching it. 603 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,400 Speaker 2: Oh my god, You're always rooting. 604 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 1: And that's the problem is that I think I love 605 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 1: that movie as a kid growing up, and we see 606 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,600 Speaker 1: that played out over and over again with all these 607 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 1: different rom coms that we had in the late nineties 608 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,399 Speaker 1: early two thousands. It's the concept of the manic pixie 609 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,640 Speaker 1: dream girl where somebody talks about this in a very 610 00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,680 Speaker 1: eloquent way that I'm gonna butcher. But there is this 611 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,040 Speaker 1: stuff he done on like how women back in the 612 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 1: late nineties early two thousands were just very ancillary characters 613 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 1: to the men, right stories, So did you ever see Elizabeth. 614 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 2: Town with Orlando Bloom. 615 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:13,320 Speaker 1: Actually, okay, so I don't know, Like, you know, the 616 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:16,520 Speaker 1: Notebook is like a classic that I think kind of 617 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,680 Speaker 1: hit worldwide. Elizabeth's Town did very well in the US. 618 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,560 Speaker 1: I don't know if it made it over to the UK, 619 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:26,600 Speaker 1: but you should and in it Orlando Bloom obviously very attractive. 620 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 1: So that was intentional, right, yeah, yeah, I've seen. 621 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:36,360 Speaker 2: Better, right, So he I guess it's like this really tortured. 622 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,560 Speaker 1: Guy and his dad dies and he has to travel 623 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:42,400 Speaker 1: home to the dad's funeral and he meets Kirsten Dunce 624 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:46,000 Speaker 1: along the way, and like he's all like brooding and like, 625 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 1: you know, kind of a grouch, and she's just like 626 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 1: this happy, kind of fairy girl in his life and. 627 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 2: She's like, don't worry, it'll be fine, you know, I'll 628 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 2: I'll take care of it. I'll be happy whatever. 629 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 1: And eventually like she brings him out of his shell 630 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 1: and she like she makes him realize that life is 631 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,480 Speaker 1: worth living again, which is great, but that's the kind 632 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,240 Speaker 1: of media I was digesting as a child, so I 633 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,320 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I need to be that savior, that savior. 634 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 3: I grew up thinking the same thing. Yeah, and I 635 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,080 Speaker 3: ended up like even on dates and whatever, I would 636 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 3: end up wanting to find someone that I could fix 637 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 3: or save because I felt like that was my role 638 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,600 Speaker 3: in the relationship. And then I met Jay and it 639 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 3: was like, wait, what is my role? Because he does 640 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 3: not need fixing, he's very fixed. 641 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 2: And then you're like, oh shit, it's me. 642 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, And then it's like there's nothing for me to save, 643 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,040 Speaker 3: like he's really good at saving himself, and I'm like, 644 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:38,880 Speaker 3: so what do I do in this? And so so 645 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,440 Speaker 3: much of my trauma would come out in our relationship 646 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,080 Speaker 3: where I was wanting to be very independent and showing 647 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:45,920 Speaker 3: him that I could do everything by myself because I 648 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,440 Speaker 3: don't want to be saved because I'm not a damsel 649 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,480 Speaker 3: in distress. But at the same time, I would be like, Okay, 650 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 3: I'll just i'll cook for you and i'll do this 651 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:54,720 Speaker 3: fore you and I'll do this few and it's like 652 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,960 Speaker 3: he's not wanting or expecting that. He's like very self 653 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,959 Speaker 3: sufficient and so really all he wanted was love, and 654 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,760 Speaker 3: I was like, wait, I'm really not used to this 655 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:05,920 Speaker 3: that what does that mean? Like how do I navigate this? 656 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,720 Speaker 3: And so it's definitely a shift in mindset and dynamic 657 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 3: when you find someone who has done the work and 658 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,400 Speaker 3: is ready for a partner to give two versus waiting 659 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,480 Speaker 3: for a partner to look after them exactly. 660 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 1: But I think a lot of men were also raised 661 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 1: to think that, oh, I'll find a wife, go from. 662 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:24,920 Speaker 2: My mum to my wife exactly. 663 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, and that we call the mummy boys. 664 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:28,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, there we go. 665 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,880 Speaker 3: Okay, have you found like in all the I'm sure 666 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 3: you get so many dms, so many dms from so 667 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 3: many women. What do you find women are struggling with 668 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,240 Speaker 3: the most right now? Like in your community of women 669 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 3: who are dating one What do you think is going 670 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,400 Speaker 3: on with men right now? And why people struggling so 671 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,440 Speaker 3: much to figure out who to be with and find someone. 672 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: I do think to an extent that people are not 673 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 1: struggling maybe as much as we think they are. They've 674 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:59,960 Speaker 1: always just been struggling, right, It's just always been difficult. Yeah, 675 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,120 Speaker 1: I mean, think about Sex and the City. When did 676 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 1: that first episode air? The reason why that show is 677 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 1: so iconic is because if you watch it again, it's 678 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 1: exactly the same stuff that everybody is going through now. 679 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 1: It's just we're so much more aware of the struggle 680 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:18,040 Speaker 1: now because of social media, so but it's always been there. 681 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:22,040 Speaker 2: Big is the chad in all of our lives. So 682 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 2: I think, you know, I think it almost And I. 683 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,520 Speaker 1: Don't mean to say this in a diminishing way because 684 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 1: I know some people are going to be like, oh 685 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,600 Speaker 1: my god, it is so much worse, Like you know, 686 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,960 Speaker 1: you're married now, how dare you know? But here's the 687 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 1: thing is is that, like, if you tell yourself it's 688 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,719 Speaker 1: so much harder now, it's so much harder than it 689 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:40,080 Speaker 1: was for my parents or whatever, you're going to start 690 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,480 Speaker 1: acting in ways I kind of prove that and validate that. 691 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:46,760 Speaker 1: Like I don't really believe we're preordained for anything. I think, 692 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,960 Speaker 1: you know, our lives kind of have a path, and 693 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 1: we can kind of choose our path. And if you're 694 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:55,920 Speaker 1: telling yourself that it's so hard that it's impossible, you'll 695 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:56,360 Speaker 1: kind of. 696 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 3: Do things that impossible path for yourself exactly. 697 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,200 Speaker 1: This is why I don't like, you know, a lot 698 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,240 Speaker 1: of my girlfriends go to psychics and mediums and. 699 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,840 Speaker 3: Say my friends to some of the friends I was 700 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:10,320 Speaker 3: just talking about, Yeah. 701 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:14,719 Speaker 1: Some of them, I will say, are shockingly accurate, to 702 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,000 Speaker 1: the point where I'm like, there is I believe in God. 703 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: I believe in something out there, and when I hear 704 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,600 Speaker 1: people like that, I'm like, there's something you have that 705 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 1: the rest of us don't. 706 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 2: But I don't. 707 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,480 Speaker 1: Necessarily, I've never really wanted to go to a psychic 708 00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,000 Speaker 1: to figure out when am I going to get married? 709 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 1: Like when's my job going to happen? Because I don't 710 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,280 Speaker 1: want to start living my life as if something is inevitable. 711 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:40,320 Speaker 1: So I think, again, don't like find a solution before 712 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:41,880 Speaker 1: you know even what the problem is? 713 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:46,560 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I think the problem with psychics now is 714 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 3: that you end up putting or just generally, you end 715 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:52,840 Speaker 3: up putting so much weight on that and then when 716 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 3: it doesn't happen, you just feel like it's doomed and 717 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:59,440 Speaker 3: then it's not possible. And so I have found friends 718 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:02,440 Speaker 3: that have heard it. It's happened and it's been great. 719 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,120 Speaker 3: But I do think sometimes when you get into desperation, 720 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,040 Speaker 3: you just end up holding onto every single word and 721 00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,600 Speaker 3: every single thing that that person has said, and then 722 00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 3: it can really lead to more disappointment than you were 723 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,000 Speaker 3: destined for in your life. You end up feeling way 724 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,200 Speaker 3: more disappointed than you would have had things just not 725 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:20,920 Speaker 3: happen naturally exactly. 726 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,760 Speaker 1: And what if a psychic tells you you're going to 727 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,160 Speaker 1: be alone forever? Yeah, and then you just live the 728 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,720 Speaker 1: rest of your life thinking that, and you go through 729 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 1: life assuming that, and then they're wrong. Well, you just 730 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,400 Speaker 1: spent whatever the four years between when you listen to 731 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,160 Speaker 1: that psychic and when you met your husband, just feeling 732 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,480 Speaker 1: like it wasn't going to happen for you. 733 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 3: Have any of the chads reached out to you since 734 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 3: you started making it? 735 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:46,920 Speaker 1: No, and I had an interesting habit, not intentionally. I 736 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,080 Speaker 1: think everybody is a type, right. That's why they say 737 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:50,800 Speaker 1: when you get divorced, you're so much more likely to 738 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 1: get divorced again, because so many people think that the 739 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,080 Speaker 1: second person they're marrying is different from the first person, 740 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,000 Speaker 1: but they just find a different version of. 741 00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:58,719 Speaker 2: The first person. 742 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:02,120 Speaker 1: Oh god, yeah, because everybody has something that they're attracted to, right. 743 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,200 Speaker 2: My type has historically always. 744 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,520 Speaker 1: Been men who may have been my age but were 745 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,080 Speaker 1: allergic to social media and who are really old souls 746 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,040 Speaker 1: is maybe just kind of like an overused word, but 747 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:15,560 Speaker 1: like they were eighty five year old men at heart, 748 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 1: so it didn't matter. Like my high school boyfriend, who 749 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:21,080 Speaker 1: is my exact age never had an Instagram, which is 750 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:22,400 Speaker 1: very strange for somebody. 751 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:22,799 Speaker 2: Who's thirty four. 752 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,239 Speaker 1: I mean, like we grew up with Instagram, So I 753 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,040 Speaker 1: never dated any men who were active on social media. 754 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,920 Speaker 1: So my feeling is that the majority of them do 755 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 1: not know that I have this career because we live 756 00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,720 Speaker 1: in a microcosm, even though it feels like our entire world. 757 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,319 Speaker 1: And think about how many creators out there that have 758 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,400 Speaker 1: massive followings and everything, but like, if you're not on 759 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,560 Speaker 1: their algorithm, you're not going to see it. Yeah, if 760 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 1: you're a forty five year old man with a family 761 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,600 Speaker 1: who checks Facebook once a year, you probably don't know. 762 00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:58,359 Speaker 3: And you married someone outside of your culture, how has 763 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,399 Speaker 3: that dynamic been for you? Did you ever date men 764 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 3: that were part of your culture or have you always 765 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,360 Speaker 3: kind of not really been attracted to that. 766 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,000 Speaker 1: I've dated men within my culture and look to a 767 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:08,600 Speaker 1: certain extent. 768 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:09,720 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. It's easier. 769 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:13,080 Speaker 1: It is easier because my parents are Chinese immigrants, and 770 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,680 Speaker 1: I did date a man who not only was Chinese 771 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:19,759 Speaker 1: but spoke their dialect. They're sharing Chinese, and that was 772 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:23,640 Speaker 1: really special for me when it happened because my parents 773 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,799 Speaker 1: are very fluent in English, but they still have accents 774 00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,239 Speaker 1: and they're not nearly as comfortable in English as they 775 00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:32,080 Speaker 1: are in Chinese. But then when they're around their Chinese friends, 776 00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:34,200 Speaker 1: they just kind of come alive. And so for the 777 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,239 Speaker 1: first time, it was like really cool to see my mom, 778 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:40,000 Speaker 1: especially just be able to interact with a boyfriend that 779 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,600 Speaker 1: she had not been able to interact with previous boyfriends 780 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:46,360 Speaker 1: because she's just felt so comfortable in her language. That 781 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,439 Speaker 1: being said, you know, you can't just marry somebody because 782 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,680 Speaker 1: your culture is aligne And that was a struggle for 783 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,920 Speaker 1: me because I think I would date a lot of 784 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:58,520 Speaker 1: American men who did not have an immigrant background. And 785 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:00,640 Speaker 1: what I didn't realize that a lot of the time 786 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,720 Speaker 1: it didn't work out is because I'm actually very Chinese nice. 787 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,640 Speaker 1: I have a lot of traditional Chinese values, and it 788 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:12,520 Speaker 1: really took Dave to kind of even reinforce that in me. 789 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,520 Speaker 1: I don't think I even knew. And yes, he's white, 790 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:20,840 Speaker 1: he's from Boston. He is just American, but we always 791 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:22,960 Speaker 1: call him like an egg white on the outside, yell 792 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:27,839 Speaker 1: on the inside, some amalgamation of his personalities because of his. 793 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:28,960 Speaker 2: Mom and dad's jeans. 794 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,480 Speaker 1: He like just came out sort of like my parents. 795 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:33,880 Speaker 1: Like he's more Chinese than some Chinese people we know, 796 00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,560 Speaker 1: like and I mean in ways like how he looks 797 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:40,040 Speaker 1: at money, like what he values in life, Like he's 798 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:44,520 Speaker 1: very frugal. He's a saver, which is not very American, 799 00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:49,120 Speaker 1: like America's built on debt culture. He lives well below 800 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,799 Speaker 1: his means. He lived in the same apartment for nine 801 00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:55,200 Speaker 1: years in New York City. It was a rent stabilized apartment. 802 00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:58,200 Speaker 1: It was awful. And when I started dating him, you know, 803 00:36:58,239 --> 00:36:59,759 Speaker 1: you don't know how much somebody makes. I knew he 804 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:01,400 Speaker 1: had a good job and a good career and he 805 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,320 Speaker 1: was driven, but you know, you only have their apartment 806 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,400 Speaker 1: to look exactly. And I was like, oh, he's probably 807 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:09,160 Speaker 1: doing okay, but he's probably not doing great, which is fine. 808 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,719 Speaker 1: And I was like, you know, And then when we 809 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,480 Speaker 1: finally got serious enough where we started talking about finances 810 00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:15,359 Speaker 1: and everything, I was like. 811 00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:17,640 Speaker 2: You make that? What are you doing? 812 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:20,440 Speaker 1: I was like, why haven't you upgraded? He was like, 813 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,200 Speaker 1: I'm fine here, I don't need more. 814 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:23,080 Speaker 2: This works. 815 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,320 Speaker 1: I was like, your ceiling crumbles every time you shut 816 00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:29,400 Speaker 1: the door. There's a piece of plaster on his ceiling 817 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,880 Speaker 1: over his couch that was loose, and every time you 818 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,399 Speaker 1: shut the front door would crumble a little, so before 819 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:37,160 Speaker 1: you sat down you would have to get the dustbuster 820 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,520 Speaker 1: out and vacuum it up. His toilet handle you have 821 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,400 Speaker 1: to hold down for five seconds before it fully flushes, 822 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,200 Speaker 1: and he was like whatever, it worked for me. Yeah, 823 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,960 Speaker 1: he was happy. So he needs very little and he 824 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,640 Speaker 1: really works. You know, obviously we work for money, but 825 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:56,680 Speaker 1: we also work for a sense of fulfillment. And he 826 00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,440 Speaker 1: just really understands my parents in an intrinsic way that 827 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:04,320 Speaker 1: I never thought would be possible. So that is really 828 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,040 Speaker 1: awesome and I never thought i'd have that, but I'm 829 00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 1: glad I do. 830 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, I am. We have in my family two white 831 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:15,760 Speaker 3: Englishmen that married into the family into a very Indian family, 832 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,959 Speaker 3: and let me tell you, they are more Indian than 833 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:21,680 Speaker 3: some of our other like the other son in laws 834 00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,480 Speaker 3: that came into the family, and they love Indian food 835 00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:28,520 Speaker 3: and all the parents love them and they integrated into 836 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:32,680 Speaker 3: the culture so beautifully that you wouldn't even realize they 837 00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:34,040 Speaker 3: know all the foods that they love. They love in 838 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,480 Speaker 3: new food more than some more than my cousin sisters. 839 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,279 Speaker 2: Like they're like, we want to cheeseburgers. 840 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,520 Speaker 3: They're like, no, exactly, And so I, you know, I 841 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,440 Speaker 3: grew up thinking the same thing, that you marry in 842 00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,719 Speaker 3: your culture, like it's just normal to think that. You've 843 00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,239 Speaker 3: seen people, you've seen your parents do it. And then 844 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,840 Speaker 3: when I started seeing my cousins stay outside of that, 845 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:54,000 Speaker 3: and I was like, wow, it is so much more 846 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,680 Speaker 3: about values. And you know, in my culture, there's still 847 00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,200 Speaker 3: such a tradition of you only marry in your culture, 848 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:00,960 Speaker 3: no matter what fason it's bad. 849 00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:04,280 Speaker 1: That's more true in Indian culture than Chinese culture. Chinese people, 850 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,680 Speaker 1: at least at this stage, don't really care, but Indian 851 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,280 Speaker 1: culture is very very. 852 00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:13,000 Speaker 3: Some parts are still very strict. And even if the 853 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:15,399 Speaker 3: guy is not that great, and even it's fine, even 854 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:18,160 Speaker 3: if there's a guy that's who's best, he's a man, 855 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,200 Speaker 3: he's a man, he's part of the culture. You're going 856 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:25,759 Speaker 3: to marry him. And unfortunately that, you know, causes a 857 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:29,120 Speaker 3: lot of issues. And I think it's getting better slowly, 858 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,319 Speaker 3: but it's taken a lot to improve that. But when 859 00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,359 Speaker 3: I've seen them come into the family, I'm like, wow, 860 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:37,719 Speaker 3: you really saw how possible it is to have such 861 00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:43,040 Speaker 3: a beautiful multicultural relationship. And family and respect and honor 862 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,960 Speaker 3: each other's values and traditions and become part of one 863 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,360 Speaker 3: another's And like, how amazing that you get to celebrate 864 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,719 Speaker 3: both cultures, Like instead of celebrating one, you get to 865 00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:53,520 Speaker 3: celebrate both exactly. And I think that's actually such a 866 00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:57,279 Speaker 3: You end up becoming so much more aware of each 867 00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:00,879 Speaker 3: other and respectful of each other just by honoring each 868 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:02,319 Speaker 3: other's traditions. 869 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:03,960 Speaker 1: And you get the best of both worlds. Truly, I 870 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:07,040 Speaker 1: think about it in a simplistic way. The food my 871 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,960 Speaker 1: mom makes amazing homemade noodles and lo maine, well, my 872 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,720 Speaker 1: mother in law makes amazing pesto. 873 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,600 Speaker 2: I still haven't gotten right, and I never had pesto 874 00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:16,200 Speaker 2: growing up. 875 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,400 Speaker 3: You know, no, I completely agree. I think that's so 876 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,080 Speaker 3: important for people to also hear. And also, your parents 877 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,240 Speaker 3: are not dating the man and so and not spending 878 00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,200 Speaker 3: the rest of their life with the man, so as 879 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,000 Speaker 3: much as they may think they know what's best for you, 880 00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,920 Speaker 3: I think there has to be you know, I'm always 881 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,239 Speaker 3: going to be a baby to my mum, and I 882 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:36,359 Speaker 3: understand that, But at the same time, you are going 883 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:37,520 Speaker 3: to have to spend the rest of your life with 884 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,920 Speaker 3: that person. And I think it is a fact. Of course, 885 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,320 Speaker 3: it is a family thing. Like, look, in your culture, 886 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:46,719 Speaker 3: your husband is part of your family. But to a 887 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:49,839 Speaker 3: certain extent, you can only let your family, haven't put 888 00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:51,360 Speaker 3: to a certain extent to the man you're gonna end 889 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:51,960 Speaker 3: up marrying. 890 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,360 Speaker 1: And my parents have always been very good at that, 891 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,640 Speaker 1: to the extent that they've always said, do not think 892 00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:59,680 Speaker 1: about us, focus on your relationship. Never let in lav 893 00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:02,920 Speaker 1: realelationships get in the way of your marriage, because when 894 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:04,960 Speaker 1: you get married, which I said to them, like, I 895 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:06,680 Speaker 1: don't consider this to be true, but they're like, when 896 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,960 Speaker 1: you get married, like, that's your nuclear family now, like 897 00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:12,400 Speaker 1: we're secondary. It's like, no, you're not. I'm like, you 898 00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:16,200 Speaker 1: are still my nuclear family. Calmed the down, I said 899 00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:16,600 Speaker 1: the same thing. 900 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 3: I was like, what do you mean that's not true? 901 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:18,359 Speaker 2: Yeah? 902 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:21,279 Speaker 1: I like, hell, now, you know, I understand what they mean. 903 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:22,759 Speaker 1: And I think a lot of parents aren't like that. 904 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,160 Speaker 1: They're like, oh, you're married now, well, like you still like, 905 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,560 Speaker 1: I'm I gave life to you, so you need to 906 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:28,560 Speaker 1: consider me first. 907 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,120 Speaker 2: And it causes a lot of issues for. 908 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:31,880 Speaker 3: People, yes, and ano of it just comes from ego. 909 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,359 Speaker 3: I think if you just end up trying to, you're 910 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,400 Speaker 3: constantly thinking about how you can make the other person's 911 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:38,319 Speaker 3: life better rather than how they can. Even even in 912 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,879 Speaker 3: family relationships, right, It's like, if my mum always wants 913 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:42,279 Speaker 3: to make my life easier, so she's going to be 914 00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:43,840 Speaker 3: as nice as she can to my in laws and 915 00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,640 Speaker 3: as nice as you can to my husband, and I 916 00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,520 Speaker 3: mean they will get along really well. But if you 917 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:51,239 Speaker 3: have that mentality of how can we actually keep this 918 00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,480 Speaker 3: family together and make it the best that it can 919 00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:57,000 Speaker 3: be versus how can I put my foot down and 920 00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,359 Speaker 3: have it my way, It's it's always going to be better. 921 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:01,680 Speaker 1: But I think that it's also so Asian culture in 922 00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:05,839 Speaker 1: general is much more multi generational, you know, Okay, I've 923 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,919 Speaker 1: told my husband from the beginning, I was like, if 924 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,839 Speaker 1: my parents ever get to a point one day where 925 00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:12,240 Speaker 1: they're unable to live on their own, I'm never putting 926 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:13,879 Speaker 1: them in a nursing home. They're moving in with us. 927 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,400 Speaker 1: We will figure it out, right, And he's okay with that, 928 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:20,360 Speaker 1: which is very different than American culture, where obviously, like 929 00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:23,719 Speaker 1: assisted living is very much a thing here and it's 930 00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,279 Speaker 1: not a shame to put your parents into assisted living. 931 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,480 Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that you should feel badly for 932 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,920 Speaker 1: doing that. I'm just saying like, those are two very 933 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,080 Speaker 1: different cultures and neither is right or wrong. But I 934 00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:37,480 Speaker 1: think because Asian culture is so multi generational, there's this 935 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:40,759 Speaker 1: kind of collective well being that we're all funneling our 936 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:44,080 Speaker 1: efforts towards where I think American culture, like strict American 937 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,680 Speaker 1: culture is just much more individualistic, and there's pros and 938 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:51,600 Speaker 1: cons to each. But it feels like, at least like 939 00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:53,480 Speaker 1: with you know, a lot of the men that I 940 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:58,360 Speaker 1: was dating, they were they had nice relationships with their family, 941 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,440 Speaker 1: but it was distant that it was like, oh, you know, 942 00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,640 Speaker 1: well I call home once a month at most, and 943 00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,200 Speaker 1: we might see them at the holidays, or you know, 944 00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:09,920 Speaker 1: if I feel like going to Bali over Thanksgiving. 945 00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:10,440 Speaker 2: I'll just do that instead. 946 00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:10,960 Speaker 3: You know. 947 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:14,279 Speaker 1: I was like, what, yeah, yeah, so that's what I 948 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,480 Speaker 1: couldn't really get over. I needed somebody who was more 949 00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,600 Speaker 1: family oriented, who understood why I needed to see my 950 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,600 Speaker 1: parents all the time as a fully formed adult. 951 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. I need you to know I'm going to 952 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,719 Speaker 3: be calling my mom three times a day minimum, exactly, 953 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,160 Speaker 3: and there will be not much conversation happening, but we 954 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:30,160 Speaker 3: will be talking. 955 00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,120 Speaker 1: Sometimes just FaceTime is like literally propped up on my 956 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:36,920 Speaker 1: computer and like nobody's talking, but it's like it's the togetherness. 957 00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:40,319 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, it is. Okay, So now you're married, having 958 00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:41,239 Speaker 3: been married. 959 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:44,360 Speaker 1: For we've been married for a little over two years. 960 00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,879 Speaker 1: We got married in September tenth of twenty twenty two. 961 00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:50,759 Speaker 3: Okay, And what are some of the things that were 962 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,760 Speaker 3: surprises once you got married? Were there any? And also 963 00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:57,080 Speaker 3: what's been difficult? Like what have you what have you 964 00:43:57,160 --> 00:44:00,520 Speaker 3: had to navigate that you weren't can give it a 965 00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:00,919 Speaker 3: bad day? 966 00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:04,200 Speaker 1: There were no surprises because I will say the fact 967 00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:06,760 Speaker 1: that we were together for four years prior to getting married. 968 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:11,080 Speaker 1: Marriage doesn't really change much if it's a piece of paper, right, 969 00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:12,760 Speaker 1: I have health insurance. 970 00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:14,200 Speaker 2: Now, exact really what it changed for me? 971 00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:20,279 Speaker 1: And we actually got legally married before our official ceremony 972 00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:22,719 Speaker 1: because I needed health insurance and it was like four 973 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,880 Speaker 1: months before a wedding and I was running out of 974 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,759 Speaker 1: my health insurance and he was like, let's just get 975 00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,520 Speaker 1: legally married so you can get onto mine. So marriage 976 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,359 Speaker 1: didn't change anything for us. I don't think there were 977 00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:36,640 Speaker 1: any surprises. I just think in terms of like what's challenging. Like, actually, 978 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:40,600 Speaker 1: our marriage is not challenging. Life is pretty challenging. And 979 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,279 Speaker 1: I always think, you know, when I hear people say 980 00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:44,359 Speaker 1: marriage is so much work, so much work. Look, look, 981 00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,920 Speaker 1: I don't have kids right with him, so let's see. 982 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:51,520 Speaker 1: But as a childless couple, marriage has not been difficult. 983 00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:54,120 Speaker 1: Life has been really difficult at times. Over the last 984 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,160 Speaker 1: six and a half years that we've been together, I've 985 00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:59,399 Speaker 1: struggled a lot with mental health stuff. You know, We've 986 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:03,719 Speaker 1: had family health issues and everything, and just those things 987 00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,839 Speaker 1: are difficult. But we're always kind of coming at it 988 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:11,800 Speaker 1: from the same page. So I don't at all actually 989 00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,279 Speaker 1: feel like our marriage is difficult. I just feel like 990 00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,200 Speaker 1: life is kind of tough sometimes, but we'll figure it out. 991 00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:19,080 Speaker 3: You know. One thing we were talking about earlier that 992 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:22,120 Speaker 3: we touched on was trying to make friends as couples. Yes, 993 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:25,239 Speaker 3: and I feel like that that is I agree. I 994 00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:26,960 Speaker 3: agree with you. I think like, if you're both putting 995 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,200 Speaker 3: in work to the relationship, there's not much that can 996 00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:31,480 Speaker 3: be chilling if you're both choosing to be there, If 997 00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,879 Speaker 3: you're both choosing to work at it, there's always hope 998 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,560 Speaker 3: in the relationship, right. But one thing we spoke about earlier, 999 00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:41,080 Speaker 3: which was trying to make friends as adults. As an 1000 00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:42,040 Speaker 3: adult couple. 1001 00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,600 Speaker 1: Well, it's really hard making friends as a couple in 1002 00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:48,640 Speaker 1: your thirties because essentially two people have to like the 1003 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:52,359 Speaker 1: other counterpart, right, So we moved to Connecticut knowing very 1004 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:56,400 Speaker 1: few people, and we've made very few couple friends in 1005 00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,520 Speaker 1: the four years we've been there because oftentimes it's like, oh, 1006 00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,360 Speaker 1: I'll really get along with the wife, but like my 1007 00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:03,799 Speaker 1: husband won't quite click with the husband, or he'll click 1008 00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:05,640 Speaker 1: with the husband and I won't quite click with the wife. 1009 00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,880 Speaker 1: And that's that's tough because, like, you know, when you're younger, 1010 00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:13,520 Speaker 1: you're just naturally more social and you're used to larger 1011 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,120 Speaker 1: groups of friends around. 1012 00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,640 Speaker 3: You and more free time. You're like not as invested 1013 00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:19,640 Speaker 3: of how much how much free time you have and 1014 00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:21,680 Speaker 3: who you spend it with. You're a little bit looser 1015 00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:23,640 Speaker 3: with that as well, because you're like, I've got all 1016 00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:24,640 Speaker 3: the time in the world. 1017 00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,239 Speaker 1: Exactly, and you're just kind of like, you know, the 1018 00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:31,200 Speaker 1: you have less responsibilities, less bills to pay for, less 1019 00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:34,640 Speaker 1: just stuff going on. And so I feel like as 1020 00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:37,560 Speaker 1: an adult, it's just been really interesting, Like I have 1021 00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,640 Speaker 1: a handful on one hand, close girlfriends in Connecticut at 1022 00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,359 Speaker 1: this point, and like we really only have like one 1023 00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:47,480 Speaker 1: or two couple friends that we consistently see on a 1024 00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:50,000 Speaker 1: regular basis. First of all, there's no time. I mean, 1025 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:53,640 Speaker 1: we don't do anything on the weekdays. We don't socialize 1026 00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:56,200 Speaker 1: on the weekdays. It's just too much. So that really 1027 00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,560 Speaker 1: leaves Friday and Saturday. And I'm somebody that like, if 1028 00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:02,160 Speaker 1: I see somebody on Friday, I can't go out Saturday. 1029 00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:03,000 Speaker 2: I need it. 1030 00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:07,120 Speaker 3: One day on like three days off exactly. 1031 00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:09,720 Speaker 1: I need I can only do like one big social 1032 00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:13,560 Speaker 1: thing a week at most, and so that really limits 1033 00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:17,400 Speaker 1: the amount of time you can spend with somebody. I 1034 00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,480 Speaker 1: think it'll change maybe when we have kids, because I 1035 00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:20,440 Speaker 1: hear you meet a lot of. 1036 00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:21,640 Speaker 3: Kidople, Yeah you have. 1037 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:22,520 Speaker 2: I agree. 1038 00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:25,440 Speaker 3: I think me and Jay have always found that where 1039 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:27,319 Speaker 3: someone he's a little bit older than me. So when 1040 00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:29,600 Speaker 3: we're back home, he has his friends who he's been 1041 00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:32,000 Speaker 3: friends with for a long time, and I don't have 1042 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:35,000 Speaker 3: that same relationship with the wives. They're wonderful, but we're 1043 00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:36,640 Speaker 3: just at different stages in life. A lot of them 1044 00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:39,600 Speaker 3: had kids that are a little bit older, and they're 1045 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,560 Speaker 3: in a different stage of life. And then me, I've 1046 00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:43,520 Speaker 3: got a lot of friends. All my girlfriends are still single. 1047 00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:45,480 Speaker 3: A lot of them are still single, and so like 1048 00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,920 Speaker 3: one we don't have couples there to actually spend time with, 1049 00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:50,799 Speaker 3: and two we just have a different relationship. I've known 1050 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,239 Speaker 3: them since I was a teenager, like we have when 1051 00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:55,399 Speaker 3: we're together, we end up being like who we were 1052 00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,160 Speaker 3: when we were teenagers. It's a different. 1053 00:47:56,880 --> 00:48:00,920 Speaker 1: Relationship and it's like the cackling out, I want nothing 1054 00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:03,080 Speaker 1: to do with this. I need to go meditate now, 1055 00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:04,680 Speaker 1: Like I just, oh my. 1056 00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:07,080 Speaker 3: God, I do not want to hang out with you guys. 1057 00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:09,400 Speaker 3: And so what we've learned to do now is he 1058 00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:11,760 Speaker 3: has a lot of separate time with his guy friends 1059 00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:13,960 Speaker 3: and I have a lot of separate time with my girlfriends. 1060 00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:15,320 Speaker 3: And then we do have times where we bring a 1061 00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:18,760 Speaker 3: lot of people together at once. But I think sometimes 1062 00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,680 Speaker 3: trying to drag your partner along to a time where 1063 00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:23,680 Speaker 3: he doesn't want to be part of it, or doesn't 1064 00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:27,799 Speaker 3: necessarily not dislike the partner but doesn't have as much 1065 00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:30,520 Speaker 3: in common or want to spend his spare time with 1066 00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:32,760 Speaker 3: that person. I think that's what it is. Same with family, 1067 00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:34,600 Speaker 3: there's a lot of time Robbie, Like, why would you 1068 00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:37,640 Speaker 3: not want to spend three to four hours doing nothing 1069 00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:38,320 Speaker 3: with my family? 1070 00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:39,399 Speaker 2: What do you mean? 1071 00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:41,960 Speaker 3: Like that's the best thing, sitting around, not talking, being 1072 00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,319 Speaker 3: around each other and hanging out. And I had to 1073 00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:47,040 Speaker 3: realize that, Look, he's also not someone who has done 1074 00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:49,480 Speaker 3: that a lot with his own family, and so he 1075 00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:51,560 Speaker 3: loves spending time with my family. But would he want 1076 00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:54,480 Speaker 3: to just spend days on end doing absolutely nothing with them? 1077 00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,000 Speaker 3: Probably not right, not because he doesn't love and adore them, 1078 00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,480 Speaker 3: but because he wants to spend his time differently exactly. 1079 00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,799 Speaker 3: And so, yeah, now we have a lot of like 1080 00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:03,560 Speaker 3: he goes on his guide dates, I go on my 1081 00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:05,360 Speaker 3: girl dates, and then we'll have a few people that 1082 00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,320 Speaker 3: will kind of bring together for games, nights and stuff 1083 00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:10,320 Speaker 3: where we can do it in large groups with everybody. 1084 00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:13,920 Speaker 3: But yeah, I think it's sometimes unrealistic to think you're 1085 00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:15,480 Speaker 3: going to have all these couple friends that will get 1086 00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:18,120 Speaker 3: along with each other, like you see, it's probably less 1087 00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:19,439 Speaker 3: true for most people. 1088 00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:22,360 Speaker 1: Exactly, and you don't always have to be doing things together. 1089 00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,799 Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you see in terms of where you 1090 00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:28,560 Speaker 3: are right now and the kind of impact that you 1091 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,640 Speaker 3: want to have and what you want women to know, 1092 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:33,239 Speaker 3: is there one piece of advice that you would want 1093 00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,279 Speaker 3: to give people right now after everything you've done, like 1094 00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:38,279 Speaker 3: the biggest piece of advice that you feel has impacted you. 1095 00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:40,239 Speaker 1: If I had to pick one, I would say that 1096 00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:43,840 Speaker 1: what you're able to let go of is actually going 1097 00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:47,120 Speaker 1: to be your greatest asset, because I think most of 1098 00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:50,439 Speaker 1: the time women can't let go of what doesn't serve 1099 00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:52,000 Speaker 1: them anymore, and they don't realize if I just let 1100 00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:53,800 Speaker 1: oh of this, I'm going to create so much space 1101 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,600 Speaker 1: for what I really want to come into my life. 1102 00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,680 Speaker 1: But we have a finite amount of time and energy 1103 00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:04,440 Speaker 1: and just what we can dedicate to one person one career, 1104 00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:08,160 Speaker 1: and if it's not working out Shift Gears think about 1105 00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:12,080 Speaker 1: the chaos of my Instagram career, like very few people 1106 00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:13,880 Speaker 1: I know were like, oh yeah, I started off in 1107 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:17,040 Speaker 1: a completely different niche like most people like were like, Okay, 1108 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:18,880 Speaker 1: this is what I want to do, and like you know, 1109 00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,400 Speaker 1: they build slowly or they go viral overnight and then 1110 00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,200 Speaker 1: they just keep doing it. Like I had eight thousand 1111 00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,600 Speaker 1: different personalities online and I was just willing to I 1112 00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:27,920 Speaker 1: was like, Okay, it's working, Like. 1113 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:28,680 Speaker 2: Let's let it go. 1114 00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:31,080 Speaker 1: If I had stuck to my guns, and then like no, 1115 00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:33,440 Speaker 1: I started off at Home Day Corps, I'm going to 1116 00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:35,959 Speaker 1: continue in Home Day Corps. It wouldn't be here because 1117 00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:37,760 Speaker 1: that's just I wasn't good at it and I didn't 1118 00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:38,480 Speaker 1: like it. 1119 00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:41,360 Speaker 3: So let go, let goga and go of the chads. 1120 00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:42,640 Speaker 2: Let go of the chad. 1121 00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:46,000 Speaker 3: Is there an emotion that you find difficult to deal with? 1122 00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:49,120 Speaker 3: If there's one, let me see. 1123 00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:53,760 Speaker 1: I'm such an open book that I really allow myself 1124 00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:56,200 Speaker 1: to feel all my emotions. But what I will say 1125 00:50:56,280 --> 00:51:00,440 Speaker 1: is like, for me personally, i'm quite I have a 1126 00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:04,800 Speaker 1: I'm quick to anger, and I think that's not great, 1127 00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:08,600 Speaker 1: both for me and the people around me. But it's 1128 00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:11,960 Speaker 1: weird because like, I don't like feeling angry, but I 1129 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:15,640 Speaker 1: also feel like my anger has gotten me here. Like 1130 00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:18,359 Speaker 1: a lot of my content is inspired by the fact 1131 00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:20,759 Speaker 1: that I am angry about what I seem, what I 1132 00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:22,560 Speaker 1: deem to be injustices in the world. 1133 00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:23,799 Speaker 2: So I don't know. 1134 00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:25,839 Speaker 1: It's like, I think you should make space for all 1135 00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,520 Speaker 1: the emotions. It's like that movie Inside Out. It's like, yeah, 1136 00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,880 Speaker 1: I love that not everything you know. Joy is not 1137 00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:34,680 Speaker 1: the old It's the point of life is not to 1138 00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,080 Speaker 1: just be happy all the time and just kind of, 1139 00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:42,200 Speaker 1: you know, float through life in this drug induced haze. 1140 00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:45,279 Speaker 1: That's not that's not a meaningful life. That's just called 1141 00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:49,400 Speaker 1: living in ignorance. So, uh yeah, I find sadness. I 1142 00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:52,560 Speaker 1: find anger difficult to deal with, but I understand the 1143 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,040 Speaker 1: necessity in my life. 1144 00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:55,720 Speaker 3: They say, I don't know whether you've had this before, 1145 00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:58,239 Speaker 3: but they say that anger is a secondary emotion to 1146 00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:03,960 Speaker 3: something else that you're feeling, and so it's hurt, pain, neglect, disappointment. 1147 00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:07,160 Speaker 3: You know, there's a primary emotion that's led to the 1148 00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,359 Speaker 3: protective secondary emotion that is anger. And I always find 1149 00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:12,279 Speaker 3: that helpful because every time I feel angry, if I 1150 00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:15,760 Speaker 3: really do like track it back to where it's actually 1151 00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:18,600 Speaker 3: come from, it does come from a place where it's 1152 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:22,320 Speaker 3: a protection. It's actually a protective emotion, right like anger 1153 00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:24,960 Speaker 3: is a protective emotion. I feel these feelings that have 1154 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:28,640 Speaker 3: made me open up and that feel very sacred to me, 1155 00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:32,960 Speaker 3: and now to actually express that anger is the way 1156 00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:35,480 Speaker 3: I can express it because there's other emotions feel too intimate. 1157 00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:38,080 Speaker 3: So I found that really interesting and it helped me 1158 00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,719 Speaker 3: really process anger differently. Once I figured that out, what 1159 00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:42,960 Speaker 3: kind of cry are you. Are you like an actress? 1160 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:43,879 Speaker 3: One one? 1161 00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,000 Speaker 1: No, I am such an ugly cry okay, And it's 1162 00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:50,920 Speaker 1: not cute, And like I don't cry on camera mostly because. 1163 00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:52,880 Speaker 2: Like nobody needs to be that. 1164 00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,840 Speaker 1: I don't know, and I just there's something to me 1165 00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:58,719 Speaker 1: and like I don't really I think I cried on 1166 00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:00,600 Speaker 1: camera once for my grandfather passed away. 1167 00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:03,759 Speaker 2: But other than that, I'm just I'm an ugly crier. Yeah. 1168 00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:06,120 Speaker 3: I love an ugly crier me too. I feel like 1169 00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:07,840 Speaker 3: that is really the best type of crier. 1170 00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not. And it's like you look at my face, like, 1171 00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:14,000 Speaker 2: is she smiling? Is she like it? Is she great? 1172 00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:17,960 Speaker 2: Is she angry? Like what's happened? It's not. It's not good. 1173 00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:19,960 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so 1174 00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:23,120 Speaker 3: much for conversation. So appreciate everything you do. You bring 1175 00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:25,800 Speaker 3: so much. Every time I see your videos, it makes 1176 00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:29,640 Speaker 3: me so happy because you make people laugh, and I 1177 00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:31,600 Speaker 3: think you make them laugh you make them think at 1178 00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,359 Speaker 3: the same time, and I think the duality of that 1179 00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:36,319 Speaker 3: is such a perfect combination to have impact. And so 1180 00:53:36,719 --> 00:53:39,719 Speaker 3: you're helping so many women out there to really move 1181 00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,080 Speaker 3: through their relationships and think about what they want in life. 1182 00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:44,960 Speaker 3: And also find worth in their life about themselves, and 1183 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:46,480 Speaker 3: I think that's something that a lot of women are 1184 00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:48,879 Speaker 3: lacking these days. So thank you for making everyone feel 1185 00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:51,239 Speaker 3: so much more confident. And I'm so excited for whatever 1186 00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:53,680 Speaker 3: journey you've got coming along, and I'm here for it. 1187 00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:54,200 Speaker 3: I'm going to be. 1188 00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:56,560 Speaker 2: Watching, thank you so much, and right back at you, 1189 00:53:56,960 --> 00:54:02,040 Speaker 2: thank you, and 1190 00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:07,319 Speaker 1: Through