Speaker 1: We like to welcome everyone to another episode of Against
Speaker 1: the Chronicles. I am Big Still and James McDonald. Today
Speaker 1: we have a very very special guest. We have VJ. Brett,
Speaker 1: a kid Goes who spend time in every prison from
Speaker 1: Lon Park to Terminal Island. Goes did a total of
Speaker 1: seventeen secretive calendars in the system. How are you doing today, Birth,
Speaker 1: I'm doing I do on Man. You know what, any
Speaker 1: day above ground is always a good day, like I
Speaker 1: was just talking about, Man, So Um, you had something,
Speaker 1: Man that was very interesting to me. Man, you know,
Speaker 1: we had long conversation last week and I love your
Speaker 1: spirit and everything. But explain this to me. Man, Man,
Speaker 1: that is my history right there. You know I used
Speaker 1: that right there, So um, these youngsters can see that,
Speaker 1: Um that this this is real and um in the
Speaker 1: choices and decisions that you make. Instead of that being
Speaker 1: a college, I D, that's a penitentiary, I D right there,
Speaker 1: and um that's my prison. I D card Um. I'm
Speaker 1: not known as my first name on my last name.
Speaker 1: I'm known as nine two eight five seven dash old
Speaker 1: one too and U. I use that so I never
Speaker 1: forget where I've been. Wow, that's real. That's that's that's real.
Speaker 1: Talk's real, that's real. Yeah, it's real. Man. I knew
Speaker 1: a lot of people like the glorified man, that whole experience,
Speaker 1: and unfortunately we got way too much of that right now. Man,
Speaker 1: you know, it's become like you know, that's become almost
Speaker 1: like a writer of plastic job. I've even heard kids say,
Speaker 1: you know, I can't wait till I go to the
Speaker 1: pin when he was young, you know, and it's crazy, man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know that's um, that's my fault. That's my fault
Speaker 1: right there, because that's how it was glorified, you know,
Speaker 1: for you know, growing up in the streets as the
Speaker 1: passive manhood, you know, catching that case, you know, going
Speaker 1: to juvenile getting out, you know, being known as a rider.
Speaker 1: You feel what I'm saying. And so I'm desensitizing. I'm
Speaker 1: desensitizing the judicial system for my nephews, for your nephews,
Speaker 1: for your sons. That's I'm desensitizing that right there. So
Speaker 1: I'm just like it was desensitized for me, you know,
Speaker 1: going getting the rest. It was a badge of honor.
Speaker 1: And but like I said before, you know, the homies
Speaker 1: don't tell you or didn't tell me the ugly side
Speaker 1: of that lifestyle you know of um, incomprehensible demoralization. And
Speaker 1: when I say that, that means when you go to jail,
Speaker 1: the first thing you do is they're gonna strip search you.
Speaker 1: You know, body cavities, parts of my body. I ain't
Speaker 1: never seen what I'm saying. And I gotta show that
Speaker 1: to another person, another man before I hit it, before
Speaker 1: I hit that block. So when I say that's that was, um,
Speaker 1: part of my fault is now it's my duty and
Speaker 1: my responsibility to desensitive eyes, my nephews, your nephews, your sons,
Speaker 1: their sons, that that penitentiary, Um, that should have never happened.
Speaker 1: That should have never happened. Well, I mean I always
Speaker 1: say if I know what I knew now, and I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have did what I did. You feel the same way, UM,
Speaker 1: Yes and no. And when I say yes and no, Um, James,
Speaker 1: is that UM, I was strong enough to handle that,
Speaker 1: you know, And I wouldn't change nothing because if that
Speaker 1: didn't happen, I wouldn't be sitting with both of y'all
Speaker 1: right now, you feel me right right? Well, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to reach out to all these these young cats out
Speaker 1: here that I think game banking is the way. UH
Speaker 1: think they don't have another choice. Uh believe that all
Speaker 1: the homies are the homies. Um, I'm I've been shaying,
Speaker 1: it ain't that way. It ain't like that the homies
Speaker 1: can change them. And you're in a second, who's gonna
Speaker 1: be there for you when you go to prison? Which
Speaker 1: I didn't have. None of my homies gared me in prison.
Speaker 1: I had a woman and a mother that you're garing me. Um.
Speaker 1: So I'm trying to show them as well as my
Speaker 1: nephews that you don't want to live the life that
Speaker 1: I lived. I mean, and then you out there, you
Speaker 1: you you're spreading your word and teaching these kids pretty
Speaker 1: much the same thing. I mean. Do you feel like
Speaker 1: you're reaching them? I am, Um, I feel like I
Speaker 1: do reach them, especially um when I touched down, Um,
Speaker 1: I said, you know, it's one thing I got to change.
Speaker 1: There's only one thing I got to change my whole life,
Speaker 1: and that's that was everything. You know. So I used
Speaker 1: my past as my greatest asset because when I go
Speaker 1: to these high schools, it's a school, and um, it's
Speaker 1: a probation school it's called Can I say, I can
Speaker 1: say the name. It's called hell Crests Academies and the
Speaker 1: Probation Schools Continuation in Inglewood and so um when I
Speaker 1: pop up there, man, Um the principal, all that artwork
Speaker 1: you saw, I started that for these kids. Um, the
Speaker 1: principal saw. It's funny. Um, I'm at the bus stop.
Speaker 1: On me. I'm at the bus stop. I'm crow Shan.
Speaker 1: I'm crow Shan. You know, you know when you're in
Speaker 1: the pan and stuff like that. You know, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: keep one hunting when you're in the pan for me
Speaker 1: to keep baby coming, you know, keep it running. You know,
Speaker 1: Grandma tossed the trade back in the day. I took
Speaker 1: it up, you know. So I'm in the pan, homie.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm just crocheting Teddy Bears blankets and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. And I'll shoot it out, you know, to
Speaker 1: the females so they can look look what God sent me,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, And keep them coming, keep
Speaker 1: them coming. So here I am, you know, um, twirling
Speaker 1: verides and wireless signs and do what I'm doing at work.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm at the bus stop. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: just croche and reporter from l A sitting up and
Speaker 1: looked at me. Now, remember when I got to pen
Speaker 1: I was two hundred pounds with long braids in my hair,
Speaker 1: you know I was. I was heavier. He did and
Speaker 1: and it just shocked the hell out of her. And
Speaker 1: she pulled up and said, um, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: And I said, um, I'm crocheting. So I teach kids
Speaker 1: at this at school program. See now, if I was
Speaker 1: if I didn't walk the path that I walked, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have got the attention of these youngsters who are
Speaker 1: following my footsteps. So by me doing that and being
Speaker 1: where I was in the penitentiary and at that bus stop,
Speaker 1: I got a chance to talk to these kids because
Speaker 1: you know, of of um, of how it was, you
Speaker 1: see what I'm saying. So I'm telling them like, how
Speaker 1: would you you know, like I'm seventeen, I said, he
Speaker 1: wasn't even born when I went to the penitentiary. I
Speaker 1: did seventeen years? Really Like, yeah, what was it? Like?
Speaker 1: It horrible? Horrible? You know what you mean? Horrible? You
Speaker 1: smoke budding there, I said, smoke bud drank. I said,
Speaker 1: But that's that's the easy part. I said that the
Speaker 1: horrid part is doing a seventeen year bit in a
Speaker 1: violent environment where there is no running away, there is
Speaker 1: no um, there is no I'm not I'm not a
Speaker 1: part of that. Yes, you are a part of everything
Speaker 1: that goes on in here. And I would teach these
Speaker 1: kids some stuff which is called like basically a CBT.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what I was doing at the time,
Speaker 1: but I'm using cognitive behavioral therapy tools which I knew
Speaker 1: nothing about at the time. You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I'm teaching them how to crochet and and these
Speaker 1: younsters man, you know pants saging, you know doing I said,
Speaker 1: you come in my you come in this after school program. Um.
Speaker 1: There was a mayor named Mayor Dorn. You've heard of
Speaker 1: mayor doing in in in Inglewood. That dude gave me
Speaker 1: accommodation of of appreciation from the Inglewood Unified School District
Speaker 1: in the city of Inglewood because I started out with
Speaker 1: these youngsters and these kids are crow shame. We started
Speaker 1: out making knots at first, right like loops, and they
Speaker 1: will call me eight a ghost ghost, Mr ghosts. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what's up. I'm like, yeah, um under it, like do
Speaker 1: it better. Your your knots are not perfect. You did
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, man, for real, this right here. What
Speaker 1: happened was, um, it starts to grow. It's the APT
Speaker 1: school program started to grow with boys and the girls,
Speaker 1: the little, the little hard headed, little knuckleheads. Well, um,
Speaker 1: for my little my little Verizon wireless money, I would
Speaker 1: go to the store and buy balls or yarn. You
Speaker 1: did what I'm saying, and I'll just donate. So these
Speaker 1: kids were taking them home and they're like, a, um,
Speaker 1: A ghost is my nots right. I'm like, yeah, teach
Speaker 1: him it. Ghost is my notts? Right? Yeah, teach them.
Speaker 1: So I broke them off in groups of four and
Speaker 1: gave them patterns how to make blankets and Teddy bears
Speaker 1: and all this stuff. And and then I used the
Speaker 1: past as my greatest asset. So therefore I would talk
Speaker 1: about life, what kind of life you want to live?
Speaker 1: Use the same thing that you were doing, calling my name?
Speaker 1: Are my notts right? Are my stitches right? I told
Speaker 1: these youngsters in this probation school, use the same principle
Speaker 1: in your math class, your history class, your English class.
Speaker 1: If you don't understand it, raise your hand to ask
Speaker 1: your teacher and all of a sudden, Man, it's just
Speaker 1: it's just blew up. Man. We have like fifty two kids,
Speaker 1: and and I would tell them, you know, this is
Speaker 1: this is part of the life, you know, of how
Speaker 1: you're gonna make your stitches. So I'll use that metaphorically,
Speaker 1: you know. So that was my beginning right there. So
Speaker 1: so did you know you was gonna be into that
Speaker 1: in the penitential? Man? For real? For real, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: keep you wandling. Um, I was gonna take this game
Speaker 1: to the year two thousand, because that's all I knew.
Speaker 1: I ain't never had a job before, you know. Um,
Speaker 1: And you know, and I'm gonna keep I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna keep a gangster. I'm not gonna turn religious. I'm not.
Speaker 1: That wasn't my thing, you know what I'm saying. Um,
Speaker 1: I had zero clue what I was gonna do when
Speaker 1: I touched down, when I touched these tin toes down
Speaker 1: at zero clue, Man, you know the funny part. But
Speaker 1: it man, we see you now, man, how you are
Speaker 1: which you evolved into being. Let's go back to the beginning. Man,
Speaker 1: how did you get there? What happened? Like? How did
Speaker 1: you wind up in the system. Man, Um, I blamed.
Speaker 1: I blamed God for one. I blame not having the
Speaker 1: father there. Um, I blame living in the projects. I'm
Speaker 1: looking for acceptance and all the wrong places. Remember the
Speaker 1: song looking for Love and all the wrong places. Well,
Speaker 1: well that was me, you feel me? That was me.
Speaker 1: I um, you know, I gave my life, my will
Speaker 1: to the care of my my neighborhood. You know, they
Speaker 1: accepted me. I had companionship, acceptance and understanding, you know,
Speaker 1: because that's what we all. I'm gonna say me, that's
Speaker 1: what I was seeking. Acceptance, companionship, and understanding. So I
Speaker 1: never liked my name, you know, my first name. So
Speaker 1: the homies, my bigger homie, he was eighteen years old.
Speaker 1: He started calling me Casper the ghosts because of my
Speaker 1: light skin. So I took that persona on for the
Speaker 1: rest of my you know, for the rest of my days.
Speaker 1: He taught me a trade back in night two and
Speaker 1: you can sell this and make this. Remember at the
Speaker 1: time I was mowing lines and ship like that, collecting cans.
Speaker 1: I mean I started doing that. Man eight four, I
Speaker 1: bought me a six night in parlor parked on the
Speaker 1: other side of the projects. I had front back on it.
Speaker 1: That was all we had. With the changed with the
Speaker 1: change there will, I didn't have no permit, and um
Speaker 1: I took off man and and it started going and
Speaker 1: started going, you know, catching little cases of possession of salves,
Speaker 1: cases going to LP you know, all the little juvenile
Speaker 1: East Lake and all that spot, all the all them
Speaker 1: stuff like that, and getting out of there being viewed
Speaker 1: as a hero, you know, a rider, you know, ghost
Speaker 1: as a rider. And then I, um, um, it was
Speaker 1: too much competition in l A, and so I took
Speaker 1: that work out of town. And UM kind of blew
Speaker 1: up like a man smoking at the gas station and
Speaker 1: knew nothing else. And that's what I that's what I did.
Speaker 1: So Um February six, I gave my um my homeboys. UM,
Speaker 1: I gave him three of them, three bricks, gave him
Speaker 1: three birds. Um they got arrested. They didn't take my direction.
Speaker 1: They got arrested by the fair and UM told them
Speaker 1: but that I gave it to him on February six,
Speaker 1: nineteen nine. And I make a long story short, Uh
Speaker 1: I played guilty to a twenty year prison cents from
Speaker 1: nineteen twenty one twenty two, twenty three twenty four, twenty five, six,
Speaker 1: twenty nine, thirty thirty one, thirty two, thirty three, four,
Speaker 1: thirty five, thirty six. So basically, I spent half of
Speaker 1: my life in the unnatural, violent but necessary environment, and
Speaker 1: so um being angry as hell um because it goes
Speaker 1: back to I'm not good enough. I was, I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have been here. Um, all all these deeply ingrained negative
Speaker 1: feelings and thoughts. So I'm all of my dude James
Speaker 1: keeping gangster us all I know. Yeah, seventeen years, you've
Speaker 1: got to I mean, you gotta surviving there, and you can.
Speaker 1: You ain't gonna surviving there being quiet and sitting on
Speaker 1: your bums. Um. That's what these kids today think going
Speaker 1: to jail because they see a lot of cats coming home.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of ship that you gotta do it
Speaker 1: you have to do in prison. Yes, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Yes, and and and that's learning how to survive.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. You ain't going in there
Speaker 1: begging and asking for handouts and can't pay them back.
Speaker 1: You had your hat brother t if you don't pay
Speaker 1: it back. So you know, it ain't no kids in prison,
Speaker 1: it's some cats in prison, that's been in their little
Speaker 1: motherfucking time. And like, boys, these little cats are, ain't
Speaker 1: nobody gonna sunk me. Ain't nobody, boy, please, I didn't
Speaker 1: see the best of the best. Get too. It's happened.
Speaker 1: I'm just happening, you know, Like um, like the homies,
Speaker 1: you know when you run them with the car, you know, Um,
Speaker 1: I ran with a particular car, you know, And that
Speaker 1: was a no no. You know, if one of the
Speaker 1: homies you know, funk with the boys, he getting rolled up,
Speaker 1: you did what I'm saying. But some homies did do it,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, So we kind of blackballed them.
Speaker 1: That's that was kind of the get down right there,
Speaker 1: you know. Um, it was kind of like a different generation.
Speaker 1: And um, and some of these um cats is unaffiliated, man,
Speaker 1: especially like a lot of these junks is that I
Speaker 1: see walking around the day. It's like you unaffiliated. You
Speaker 1: were crash dum me you're gonna be a girl. They're
Speaker 1: gonna be girls, man, And ain't nothing you could do
Speaker 1: to save them because um, you know, like like some
Speaker 1: of the cats that's been um that you know, the
Speaker 1: homies don't funk with you did what I'm saying, because
Speaker 1: you know, we ride, and this is what we do,
Speaker 1: you know, we that's what we do. Right. Um, these
Speaker 1: unctions hitting that line getting off that bus, if they
Speaker 1: are unaffiliated, um, you know they are out there hustling
Speaker 1: for tennis shoe money, you know, um and and getting ship.
Speaker 1: So when they hit that line on me, it's like, Uh,
Speaker 1: one of the homies pushed up on him. What you need,
Speaker 1: here you go, here you go, here goes some zoos
Speaker 1: was way Williams, here you go, um, put him in,
Speaker 1: put him in my cell and uh and you nothing
Speaker 1: you could do about that, you know, and you won't
Speaker 1: you here on your own, you know, So you're gonna ride. Um.
Speaker 1: And most of a lot of these youngsters nowadays thinking, um,
Speaker 1: what kills me is test my gangster. That's what killed
Speaker 1: because it's gonna get tested. It's gonna get tested, you know.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I remember when Um, I remember I had
Speaker 1: the line one of the homies, Um, he was he's
Speaker 1: old bully, He's he's old bully. You know. He wanted
Speaker 1: to you know, he was with the car and everything,
Speaker 1: and um, you know, I'm soft spoken, I'm kind of quiet,
Speaker 1: you know, and he was talking that talking to that bullshit.
Speaker 1: You did what I'm saying, high yellow nigga, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, pretty motherfucker. And I used to box
Speaker 1: for Archie Moore and I got hands you know, and
Speaker 1: the home is kind of bigger and ship like that.
Speaker 1: But size don't mean nothing, you know. Take four pounds
Speaker 1: of pressure knock him other funk out. And then we
Speaker 1: was in the day room and um, he was on
Speaker 1: one and and he's focused on me because I ain't.
Speaker 1: I ain't no big motherfucker, you know, And call me
Speaker 1: a bit, call me a bit in the day room
Speaker 1: for all the homies. I gotta I gotta strike. You
Speaker 1: ain't got I gotta strike, you know. So Um he cleared,
Speaker 1: you know, watch for the CEO cleared and everything. Clear
Speaker 1: that ship up and clear the day room. And we
Speaker 1: you know, came from the shoulders. And as soon as
Speaker 1: he put him up, I said, I'm gonnaknock this motherfucker out.
Speaker 1: As soon as he put them hands up, I said, oh,
Speaker 1: I got him. I got him, and I got to
Speaker 1: I got this bike mark on my arm right here.
Speaker 1: I show you this bit me, you know. So no, no,
Speaker 1: he couldn't get close to me. Because I kept putting
Speaker 1: my south Paul having frustrated. Yeah, so, um, the Homies
Speaker 1: like it's done and all that, and um, um if
Speaker 1: I don't stand up now, um it's over. You did
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And um, so he put um once
Speaker 1: we locked, you know, I said this, he don't. He
Speaker 1: don't want to get down. He's he's he want to wrestle.
Speaker 1: So it's like the Homies like, ain't no wrestling. We
Speaker 1: come from the shoulders. And after it was over, Um,
Speaker 1: it was nothing wrong with me, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: His mouth busted, no, busted, and he breathed hard and
Speaker 1: we shook hands. So we shook hands. He grabbed me
Speaker 1: and pulled me and bit me my arm right here.
Speaker 1: So I got to mark on my arm right here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: did you hit him again? I hit him again. I
Speaker 1: hit him with him plastic chairs and and he had
Speaker 1: to go. He went to the whole, got out of
Speaker 1: the whole about about thirty three days later and was
Speaker 1: like number of respect. Yeah, you gotta have it, enough
Speaker 1: time to think about it. Yeah yeah, So, um, it's
Speaker 1: two things happen. If somebody else, James, you know what's
Speaker 1: gonna happen. I'm about to stabbed this cat up. Worry
Speaker 1: about one of these cats telling on me, because if
Speaker 1: my home boys I grew up told on me for
Speaker 1: three birds. If I stabbed this cat up in his dayroom,
Speaker 1: that was him. They don't you know. So, Um, that's
Speaker 1: some of the ship you gotta deal with. Chevin ten
Speaker 1: can turn into light, yes, sir, he can. Two years
Speaker 1: can turn into light. Yeah, and I'm gonna keep on
Speaker 1: with you. I was scared because I know that's the
Speaker 1: next level. Yeah, you know, I was like, man, you
Speaker 1: know that's the next level on it's um is he gonna'
Speaker 1: I gotta stabbed the homie. He's gonna stab me. It's
Speaker 1: known to happen. Yeah, we had a big homie of Mars.
Speaker 1: The Jailer's used to bring all the homies that come
Speaker 1: came in there and put him in his sell He
Speaker 1: would want them in there and and he would rape them.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of cats that's just walking the street
Speaker 1: right now in the day been raped by by Smiley.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Smiley Robinson and uh he
Speaker 1: in the newspaper the Old Night and he proudly this ship.
Speaker 1: He probably this ship he's and every time when of
Speaker 1: the homies come in, he said, I'm getting some pussy
Speaker 1: and in these in these cats. I just want these
Speaker 1: little kids to understand. Like I tell my nephews, you know,
Speaker 1: back in the days, if y'all were trying to hang
Speaker 1: out and kick it like this, your motherfucker's wouldn't have
Speaker 1: made it. You know what I'm saying. I got nephews
Speaker 1: want to be g Q kind of like just cool
Speaker 1: and red hair. Uh, nine jippers on their pains. Come
Speaker 1: on that gang banging ship. Don't that ain't gang banging?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. You can't. You can't hold
Speaker 1: two different identities. You gotta be either one way or
Speaker 1: the other. You gotta be all the way in the car.
Speaker 1: But doing seventeen years in prison, I mean that that
Speaker 1: takes a toll on the mind, like spiritually, spiritually, UM,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you right now, I know I've been there.
Speaker 1: I know I've been there because certainly my certain habits
Speaker 1: you know sometimes um, sometimes they come out, you know, um, um,
Speaker 1: but especially after like I've never been there. You think
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But I know I've been there because,
Speaker 1: like I said, some of my habits, they come out. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, going um, getting the rest of going to
Speaker 1: M d C. And uh in n You know you
Speaker 1: hear all. You know, everybody wanted to be the street king.
Speaker 1: Everybody wanted to be the street king. You know. I
Speaker 1: know I did when I was a youngster. You know
Speaker 1: because I'm hearing stories. I'm hearing these stories. You know,
Speaker 1: this is what we're gonna do. Is what we're gonna do.
Speaker 1: That's why I got into the game, you know, because
Speaker 1: I wanted that acceptance, that companionship and understanding. You think
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. That's why I joined. Um, I got
Speaker 1: put on my hood, you know, because I wanted acceptance,
Speaker 1: companionship and understanding. You feel me. Um, So I was accepted,
Speaker 1: I had companionship and had an understanding. But when I
Speaker 1: when I took that fall, you know, all that ship
Speaker 1: came down, you know, because I was out there getting it.
Speaker 1: I was getting it, you know, Um, the flashy ship
Speaker 1: that wasn't That wasn't me. You know, my wealth is
Speaker 1: hitting basically, you know what I'm saying. And um, and
Speaker 1: one day it was all gone. One day it was
Speaker 1: all gone. So I'm sitting up in the cell, man
Speaker 1: with it, and they put this little short dude in
Speaker 1: my cell. You know, I'm an m d C. I
Speaker 1: was on six South and um they put this little
Speaker 1: short duty to myself, and um so I know I
Speaker 1: got the zoos with wam wham. So I go up
Speaker 1: in there and they're like, man, you gotta sell it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck, you know, okay, not a problem, you know.
Speaker 1: Um So I go up in there. I'm like, what's up?
Speaker 1: I men, I'm Gohost. He was like, I'm Rick. It's
Speaker 1: nice to meet you, Rick, you know, and it was
Speaker 1: free way Rick, you know, and that's my homie today,
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, so, um well we'll be up in
Speaker 1: the selle man and we sit back talking and you know,
Speaker 1: and and you've only I've only I've only heard stories
Speaker 1: about Freeway Ricky Ross, you know, you know the story
Speaker 1: that you get the street lord. You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: He's sleeping on the top bump and the weed, you know,
Speaker 1: lays potato chips and and the homies like this is
Speaker 1: not it? Because he called me by my first name,
Speaker 1: like like wand this ain't it. And he's like, man,
Speaker 1: read this to me. I'm like, what's that he's like
Speaker 1: my core papers. I'm like, you can't read, like I
Speaker 1: have a little trouble reading. And so I read all
Speaker 1: this ship to him, you know, and we stayed in
Speaker 1: that sale man lockdown and we'll talk and he was like,
Speaker 1: this is not the life, you know, not the life
Speaker 1: you answer, and um, yeah, Rick is a real good
Speaker 1: friend of mine. He coming to my house and you
Speaker 1: know we've been through the trenches together, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah he's out right now. I talked to Rick and
Speaker 1: not too long ago. I'll tell some more about him.
Speaker 1: But um, you know it's me um. And then um,
Speaker 1: he we got sentenced in January three, Yeah, he got sentenced.
Speaker 1: It was me, um, Harry Yo. You know, um, everybody
Speaker 1: heard about these people, but you know, I really don't know. Now,
Speaker 1: want a bit, you know, when we're in the trenches,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you, man, that dude, that dude, Mike Man,
Speaker 1: he's a solid cat. He was like, he was like, smooth,
Speaker 1: I'm in turmoil. You did what I'm saying. I'm in turmol.
Speaker 1: You know. I was nowhere close to to Rick or
Speaker 1: Mike or Tommy or any Mario. I wasn't a bowl,
Speaker 1: you know, I was nowhere close to them. You know. Um,
Speaker 1: I learned acceptance from these cats. You know Bo Bennett,
Speaker 1: you know water That's what they called Waterhead and that
Speaker 1: when we us play ping pong, and you know the
Speaker 1: Cunningham brothers. I'm in contact with all these people today
Speaker 1: because the things I've accomplished. They knew thee Shalte Man.
Speaker 1: The cats were solid, but I saw serenity in these cats.
Speaker 1: I'm a youngster, I'm the younger, I probably the youngest
Speaker 1: one in there. But um, I would sit back and
Speaker 1: watch these cats. You know, before I knew whom Harry
Speaker 1: or Mike was, I didn't know who he was. You know,
Speaker 1: I thought was another brother that was you know, stranged up.
Speaker 1: You know. They was like, man, that's um, that's that's
Speaker 1: Harry O. I'm like, that's sucking HARRYO. Like yeah, it
Speaker 1: was all calm, you know, it was. It was just
Speaker 1: they had some kind of serenity inside of him. So
Speaker 1: I was sitting back talking to him and um. After
Speaker 1: we got sentenced on January three, Mike was wearing a
Speaker 1: cream colored suit, sitting back reading his core papers with
Speaker 1: suspenders on, with his little round glasses, with his legs
Speaker 1: crossed and I came back down and Um, I came
Speaker 1: back down and he's had how much time to give you?
Speaker 1: I said, Mike, they gave me a dub. They gave
Speaker 1: me twenty. I said, how much they give you? And
Speaker 1: he said, um, they gave me life. And I looked
Speaker 1: at him sitting back in his cream color suit with
Speaker 1: a suspender zone with his glass zon and he's sitting
Speaker 1: back with his legs crossed, going over, going over his paperwork.
Speaker 1: And I looked at him. I said, did you just
Speaker 1: say life? He's like, yeah, you know, they just gave
Speaker 1: me life. I said, they gave me twenty. And he
Speaker 1: was like, should you be you'd be at by the
Speaker 1: time your foldy. You ain't supposed to tell me that
Speaker 1: you think what I'm saying? So, Um, you know Tommy
Speaker 1: came down with life. Who's out now? He got out? Um? Rick, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm in contact with you know, Bowl? Um not in
Speaker 1: contact of Bowl. I heard he's home now. But um,
Speaker 1: but these cats I learned surrender. If it wasn't was late, man,
Speaker 1: they was. They were stretched out, you know, they were
Speaker 1: stretched out. But you would never know, you wouldn't you
Speaker 1: would you would never know? Um? So um, I took.
Speaker 1: I took what I learned, what I saw from because
Speaker 1: they're they're unofficially being my mentors. Me and Rick, you know,
Speaker 1: we we talked a lot, you know. Um. But but
Speaker 1: Mike and all of them, you know, um, um, once
Speaker 1: I found out who he was, I wasn't swinging, you know,
Speaker 1: I wasn't he Mike, Mike, you know like good morning,
Speaker 1: you know, like good morning. You don't have a seat
Speaker 1: like yeah, talking ship like that, you know, And how
Speaker 1: was you? He would asked me about my family? You know,
Speaker 1: how's your family? Like they gonna you know, they're gonna
Speaker 1: be all right. That's how about your families? You know,
Speaker 1: this conversation. But they were my unofficial mentors, you know,
Speaker 1: and acceptance. You have to accept the ugly side of
Speaker 1: the game. And I couldn't well most and most of
Speaker 1: them came out here. Most of them came and seventeen.
Speaker 1: I hadn't seen to break a lot of cash down life.
Speaker 1: I didn't see a lot of cats come to that
Speaker 1: County jail with life in turn up. They sail just
Speaker 1: just in disbelieve. Um, you ain't got nothing a looking
Speaker 1: for it once you get life. But the way you're
Speaker 1: saying how they was they accepted it and fucking this
Speaker 1: push let's do this. Knew we had knew they had
Speaker 1: to do that time and you know most a month. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: a lot of people was a lot of people's hot
Speaker 1: you know. Um there were some people that was on
Speaker 1: our floor that got moved off the floor, you know,
Speaker 1: because they were like they I guess they rethought it
Speaker 1: like you know, um it was him, you know, so
Speaker 1: they moved, they moved off our floor. But but all
Speaker 1: of us, um, you know, um, we we took it.
Speaker 1: I learned acceptance from them. Another thing too on me
Speaker 1: is when you hit that line, is that, um, this
Speaker 1: is that gangster ship you know, um you know, um
Speaker 1: we I'm gonna say me, I believed I was a
Speaker 1: gangster because a young gangster you know, Um I was,
Speaker 1: I was acting. Uh, this is this is what I know.
Speaker 1: You know, Um, if you ask me my you know,
Speaker 1: was I gangster? I had gangster ways because I watched
Speaker 1: the I watch you you know, I watch you you know,
Speaker 1: I watch watch my uncles. You know, I watched watched
Speaker 1: all of them. But it's just acceptance, companionship man. And
Speaker 1: but again when I did hit the line, the first
Speaker 1: thing they want to see is that pre sentence report?
Speaker 1: Is there a five K one? You know, was there
Speaker 1: substantial assistance? You know? And you know I like say
Speaker 1: it wasn't. On the yard right now like a homie.
Speaker 1: He goes, um bringing that paperwork, you know, bring the
Speaker 1: paperwork up to the day room. Alright, but he going on.
Speaker 1: You know, you guys will flip through my ship. You know,
Speaker 1: you go straight to the that's if you spoke on
Speaker 1: anybody else. Yeah, so they'll go to your please agreement.
Speaker 1: I played guilty, right, you know there was no there
Speaker 1: was nothing. You know, Um play guilty to a twenty
Speaker 1: year prison sentence. He's good. You know. It's like we
Speaker 1: need you to bring a song. So bring your paperwork
Speaker 1: up to day room. Why because we asked, We told you,
Speaker 1: We told you to. If you don't bring that presentence
Speaker 1: report to the day room, um, you're gonna get carried
Speaker 1: out or we're gonna let you check in, and then
Speaker 1: the word gonna spread. You know what I'm saying. The
Speaker 1: word's gonna spread. You're gonna be treated like a bit
Speaker 1: to what your whole bit you did. What I'm saying,
Speaker 1: so presentence report and then you know the bureau prisons
Speaker 1: changed all that. They wouldn't let you have it no
Speaker 1: more because like ten years later, motherfucker's getting rolled up,
Speaker 1: getting the head caved in because song So told them
Speaker 1: song So, and we know you're coming, you know, um
Speaker 1: So that right, there was a lot of stuff, you know,
Speaker 1: you know well that that's pretty much jail. How ship,
Speaker 1: I mean, just because you're in jail. To me, you
Speaker 1: ain't got no rules, and and just knowing that that's home, man,
Speaker 1: motherfucker's they handle business like it's home. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. It's it's it's home away from home for
Speaker 1: the time, Ben. But the way guys got down in prison,
Speaker 1: it's totally different how cats interact out here, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Yeah, just like you said, ain't no running,
Speaker 1: They no hiding, you know, hiding. So to be amongst
Speaker 1: us in this right here on this yard, we can
Speaker 1: bring that ship out here that she was. She was cracking.
Speaker 1: So we ain't got no funny business in there, no
Speaker 1: funny niggers in there. We know we all ride us exactly.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna tell you one hunter though, when you
Speaker 1: go back in that cell, when it's getting rich, like
Speaker 1: these scars on my hand right here, that's from the
Speaker 1: racial ride, you know, as from like I said, if
Speaker 1: you were blood or a crip and you're from California
Speaker 1: and you ride because we're gonna ride against so and so,
Speaker 1: so and so, you know, and ain't no, um I
Speaker 1: gotta visit coming. No, ain't none of that. Um My
Speaker 1: mama coming, No, she ain't coming. You're gonna be on
Speaker 1: the front line. You You're gonna be on the yard.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. So, um, it's we had
Speaker 1: ride and she was burning up. It was in Phoenix
Speaker 1: and it went down, you know, Um, it went down
Speaker 1: and it was wild. So a building called on fire
Speaker 1: and the homies were inside the building. Man and um
Speaker 1: and this right here we are busting them windows and
Speaker 1: thick as bulletproof glass windows, taking them. Had to get
Speaker 1: them out because the c os left. They locked him
Speaker 1: in that building and they locked him in. They locked
Speaker 1: him in that building, and we gotta try to get
Speaker 1: through this glass and so the doors it was stuck. Oh,
Speaker 1: it was stuck. Oh, so the homies, so they were
Speaker 1: trying to break the frame. I took one of them ashtrays,
Speaker 1: you know, the concrete astrays, little round ones picked up.
Speaker 1: I kept throwing against the window and then broke the
Speaker 1: window and pulled the homies out. And that's when my
Speaker 1: hand cut this thing, and all of a sudden, the
Speaker 1: whole fucking building just came down, you know. And um.
Speaker 1: But then again during this time, remember I still got
Speaker 1: fourteen years left to do there. There is no tomorrow.
Speaker 1: You know, we gotta get it in. You know, we
Speaker 1: have we have to do this. But I ain't gonna
Speaker 1: lie to you. I ain't gonna lie on me. Um.
Speaker 1: I did say before UM, before I walked out that unit,
Speaker 1: I did believe in God, said God, please don't let
Speaker 1: me kill nobody, and please don't let nobody kill me, right,
Speaker 1: you know know, let me go back to one thing. Man.
Speaker 1: I don't think this is what these junctions realized. You
Speaker 1: caught your case, man, and lived through that like pretty
Speaker 1: much went through hell, and you never got caught with nothing.
Speaker 1: It was just these cats words that you sent. At
Speaker 1: the time, they called conspiracy a forty one a UM
Speaker 1: and a forty six. They called it a constructive possession.
Speaker 1: I didn't fully have it in my possession, but I
Speaker 1: had domaning in control over it because let me say
Speaker 1: this for the people out there too, And I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure we all got homeboys like that. How many homeboys
Speaker 1: y'all got who went to jail for no reason because
Speaker 1: somebody says some ship that wasn't true. Yeah, so somebody
Speaker 1: right now could say I heard that James ghosts and
Speaker 1: still got birds up in that thing that they yet
Speaker 1: and we can mess around to be sitting in the
Speaker 1: celle wondering what the hell happened? Hell happened? And you see, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was it was. It was kind of crazy because
Speaker 1: the fact of the matter is is that how many
Speaker 1: nineteen year olds have that much money in the house.
Speaker 1: And back then when the when when the Co Canadian
Speaker 1: ship came out, man, it was it was big and
Speaker 1: it was it was so many cats that reached that top.
Speaker 1: You know that the average hood nigger wouldn't getting that
Speaker 1: type of money or wouldn't getting it like that. That's
Speaker 1: where you had the the the big deep boys, you know,
Speaker 1: like like Free Read that was had controller ship like
Speaker 1: that and distributed and putting it out there like that.
Speaker 1: Half of us didn't happen like that. So something that
Speaker 1: was going to the fairs for half of birds and
Speaker 1: selling ship to to motherfucker three or four times. Uh,
Speaker 1: your phone was being tapped easily, and nine times out
Speaker 1: of tea. It was somebody in the hood that was
Speaker 1: sucking with you and working with you and then doing
Speaker 1: anything like that. But going to jail is going to
Speaker 1: jail the time you're gonna do it. And like they
Speaker 1: had my brother and in there, Hey, I got call
Speaker 1: with a pistol. So they said the pistol was from
Speaker 1: you talk. So now just because it's prison record, they're
Speaker 1: trying to give forty years for the pistol and state
Speaker 1: Commerce Article one sex night Claus seventeen of the US Constitution.
Speaker 1: That's what that is, his commerce clause forty years. So
Speaker 1: I'm sitting there people and it's a cool ast. Uh.
Speaker 1: The federal ship is totally different from state. And all
Speaker 1: these people walked in this room. I don't like they're
Speaker 1: been a pick a jury just like that. He had
Speaker 1: a jury sitting right there and he ready to go
Speaker 1: in you know what I'm saying. So, and Alton case
Speaker 1: was the only case they said ninety nine point nine
Speaker 1: percent eight percent of conviction rate from from the federal
Speaker 1: witch camps. So he went all the way. M hm.
Speaker 1: The police said that when he jumped out the car
Speaker 1: and ran the person that was driving the car through
Speaker 1: the pistol out, that's how they got there. So they
Speaker 1: ate the ship up. But he sat there for a
Speaker 1: minute and uh, how did he how did he get it?
Speaker 1: The lawyer that he had was was a cool lawyer,
Speaker 1: but he wind up beating it. And they said he
Speaker 1: was the only only person in three years that that
Speaker 1: one a case at that time. About Man, it's crazy, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. So just watching how they program go and
Speaker 1: opposed to you know, stay, they sit there and they
Speaker 1: do all these questions and ship and all that ship
Speaker 1: and then pick a jury and take maybe maybe two
Speaker 1: weeks maybe a month to pick. Yeah, And I'll tell
Speaker 1: you the crazy thing about it, Man, I got a
Speaker 1: brother in lawdis in the fives right now. He was
Speaker 1: supposed to be up five years ago and wound up
Speaker 1: you know, little things happening to there and stuff where
Speaker 1: he had defend himself or whatnot. Man. But just when
Speaker 1: you get to see the discovery papers at the end
Speaker 1: of the case, because when they came and got him,
Speaker 1: he was messing with that math, right, and so you
Speaker 1: just saw the whole assencion It was like a movie.
Speaker 1: I saw his whole as Sencion and rides to where
Speaker 1: he first hooked up with these people. Right, he's doing
Speaker 1: his thing. Then he had the five point on dating's right.
Speaker 1: Then he had the f one fifty on these you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Then he got the big house
Speaker 1: in Cerritos, the other one in Lakewood. Three or four
Speaker 1: hours is. So we're having a birthday party. This when
Speaker 1: I knew he was in there some ship, right, because
Speaker 1: he was stressed out all the time. Man, you know,
Speaker 1: just like he had all this stuff but could never
Speaker 1: enjoy it. Just seemed like he was always just going
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So we're having the birthday
Speaker 1: party for the kids for my son over the this
Speaker 1: house were over in Lakewood. Right, it's a new creative
Speaker 1: you got. So I'm looking for the bathroom. I walking
Speaker 1: run room. Remember they had the brown bag trade trash
Speaker 1: bags whole room for the money. Just you know, just
Speaker 1: like talked about me. You know, you see some ship
Speaker 1: like that. So me I'm talking like, man, what you
Speaker 1: got going on? Bro? You know what I mean? Because
Speaker 1: had I known you got all this over you, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't not damn sh it. Wouldnt be over it with
Speaker 1: you because I've always been no nonsense, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Because I know I'm not trying to go
Speaker 1: to jail with nobody. They run up in his motherfucking
Speaker 1: and sure, as you know, I look at his discovery papers.
Speaker 1: I'm in there as shock. They called me shocking the
Speaker 1: discovery papers. How you getting conversation? You know, phone conversations
Speaker 1: and just me, Thank god, we never he never put
Speaker 1: us none of his ship, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But he has given us money. He had given his
Speaker 1: money before. You know what I'm saying for Look, you
Speaker 1: know little things say bro, go talk to your homeboy.
Speaker 1: This car. You know I had a partner to deal
Speaker 1: with cars and ship, right, you know, giving well, get
Speaker 1: this for me. I guess they found that I didn't
Speaker 1: have nothing to do with it because I always had
Speaker 1: some squares ship going on. It's like when I did
Speaker 1: my little dippling and dabbling. It took me one time
Speaker 1: for the police to tell me, hey we and I
Speaker 1: was that was I left a hole my homeboy, and
Speaker 1: tell you you know, a big fine. But you tell
Speaker 1: y'all left a hole zone back in the bid and
Speaker 1: walked away because I recognized left, walked, walked away, left
Speaker 1: it right down the building. Because what happened was, um,
Speaker 1: we was on Ohio and An and they should be
Speaker 1: the spot. You know, I'm not here from Ohio with
Speaker 1: no money, right, So I was pretty good at it. It
Speaker 1: It was easy. It wasn't nothing. You know, I'm a big, tall, intimidating.
Speaker 1: The first thing, I actually had good customer service. The
Speaker 1: mother dudes out there beating niggers up, taking their money
Speaker 1: and ship I was, you know, gave you a nice
Speaker 1: big huver rock, you know what I mean. Feeding all
Speaker 1: the smokers, you know, you know I had them, you know,
Speaker 1: having things. Then I you know, one lady gave me
Speaker 1: the idea, you know, Nickels. I started selling Nicholas, right.
Speaker 1: I had goes out there right, so I was short
Speaker 1: stopping everybody ship between motherfucker's hitting that corner, me having
Speaker 1: the box, motherfucker's niggas pulling the hand, and little niggas
Speaker 1: this tall pulling downs on me this big and ships
Speaker 1: about you're sucking up my money, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And they don't want to do nothing because they're cool
Speaker 1: with the homie, but they you know, if they don't
Speaker 1: want to see me like this, but they just pretty
Speaker 1: much I just saw it wasn't worth it to me. Man,
Speaker 1: it just wasn't worth it. You'll have some money in
Speaker 1: my pocket now. Man. But I remember my mom had
Speaker 1: called me early that morning and she said, what's going
Speaker 1: on with you? Now, Monty in California? Play football. I
Speaker 1: ain't came out here to become the king piano scarface.
Speaker 1: You gotta remember this, nineteen eighty nine. And it was
Speaker 1: it was easy, you know when I because when I
Speaker 1: first went out to the first night I was out there,
Speaker 1: I made twelve hundred dollars, just like it was easy.
Speaker 1: The only thing that slowed me down I didn't have
Speaker 1: enough savvy in the game. I kept going back buying
Speaker 1: double ups like a dumbass, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like I didn't have another sense, you know. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I don't have enough sense. So I'm
Speaker 1: just study going back. You could you could have held,
Speaker 1: you could have handled at the time you walked away
Speaker 1: from my house, you know what I'm saying. So, but
Speaker 1: you know that's the thing I got, man, because it
Speaker 1: starts I start feeling this sense of power. Right because
Speaker 1: first of all, now I don't went from being a
Speaker 1: nigger that where the same leaver as the school every
Speaker 1: day to where I got the cock sport t phone,
Speaker 1: I got me a little cube and ling, I got
Speaker 1: me a page and my homeboy don took me the
Speaker 1: compass wapping me and I'm you know, I'm feeling good.
Speaker 1: I don't got the little I don't grow the little shaggy,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I don't got me a little thing. You know, you know,
Speaker 1: nigger got a kno in this pocket. You know, you
Speaker 1: go to you know, Friday night, you're going, um, what's
Speaker 1: a little Tommy Burger? And you out there, you know
Speaker 1: you actually a little night in your pocket. You got
Speaker 1: your twenty five dollars in your pocket. You know, you're right,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You're doing your thing. You're
Speaker 1: going to Hollywood and you're just getting the attention. Right.
Speaker 1: But my mom had called me the morning. It was
Speaker 1: something in the the foray. She said, I know you out
Speaker 1: there doing something. Whatever you're doing, you need to stop.
Speaker 1: So it was just different that day. It felt dark
Speaker 1: that day because I will starts getting football practice to
Speaker 1: go to the block. First of the month, man, fun practice.
Speaker 1: I'm this ship is this is the thousand dollar day,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? But just how you how
Speaker 1: you explain it? A whole bunch of cats can't explain
Speaker 1: it like that. I was done, man, Is that you know?
Speaker 1: Because you know what I measured up with it? Man,
Speaker 1: Because the way this cop broke me down was like
Speaker 1: I was animal. The way like they could you could
Speaker 1: tell they was frustrated. They couldn't find nothing. You know,
Speaker 1: I didn't have no pistol on me. I didn't have nothing.
Speaker 1: I left my little pistol at the house that day, right.
Speaker 1: I didn't had no pistol on you didn't have nothing
Speaker 1: on me, And I kept my ship. One thing my
Speaker 1: boy told him, he said, never keep that ship on you,
Speaker 1: Never keep it on you. So they was looking forward, dog,
Speaker 1: and they couldn't find it. I walked away. I walked
Speaker 1: straight back to the house. Man. I didn't I didn't
Speaker 1: pay us go, didn't try to go back and look
Speaker 1: at it for nothing, and didn't try to do nothing,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. No, I wasn't working with it, dog.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure fine he's fat ass went back over
Speaker 1: there trying, you know what I mean, try to do
Speaker 1: this ship. But I was done, man, because what idea was.
Speaker 1: I did the math for it because I got people,
Speaker 1: know how, they all my whole family, you know how man.
Speaker 1: My daddy said, all of them dudes is in the
Speaker 1: fizs now for hustling, right, So I already knew the
Speaker 1: endgame was and I always did the math for I said, okay,
Speaker 1: you figure I'm doing this now and I could probably
Speaker 1: go this, but when they stretched me that time gonna
Speaker 1: be like me getting a check from McDonald's. Yes, when
Speaker 1: they break it down, you know, when you break down
Speaker 1: the time. So it just wasn't. It just wasn't. It
Speaker 1: just went in the mix. What goes? What's the eyes
Speaker 1: of coming home and and you still have money left?
Speaker 1: How many guys would you say came home that still
Speaker 1: had paper from from during twenty years and then get
Speaker 1: out and still can relax off the money they made.
Speaker 1: I don't know none. I don't. I don't know none. Um.
Speaker 1: You know the stuff that you but I had, Um,
Speaker 1: I don't. I didn't need it. You know I needed it,
Speaker 1: but um, it's something I didn't think about because you
Speaker 1: know it's like Mom's you know you can have it.
Speaker 1: You know, um my mom, man, Um, she wouldn't accept nothing.
Speaker 1: She wouldn't accept nothing. So I put it in there
Speaker 1: and I'll hold it for you. He's like, my mom
Speaker 1: didn't want nothing, you know she you know, she's um.
Speaker 1: The church in Compton, you know, yeah, she didn't want nothing, man.
Speaker 1: And um, you know she had a little um trying
Speaker 1: to buy her things. She tried to buy her car,
Speaker 1: she didn't want that. Um, try to move her out
Speaker 1: the project, she didn't want that. Um, she didn't want nothing, man.
Speaker 1: And UM, I'm trying to. I'm trying to. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to help her out, you know, trying to help her out.
Speaker 1: But my mom is like one of them women from
Speaker 1: old school, you know. Um, God, God faring, you know that.
Speaker 1: You know what am I to say, you know to Jesus?
Speaker 1: And you know because the church and Compton that's where
Speaker 1: we grew up at. You know, my my um, my
Speaker 1: godmother was the pastor of the church in Compton, and
Speaker 1: and she still go there to this day. And my
Speaker 1: mom is, UM. I had to tell her, you know,
Speaker 1: you need you with cars, so go ahead and take it.
Speaker 1: And she did. Man. Um, I'm thinking she's gonna buy
Speaker 1: Honda or something mom mom bought escalade, Mom bother escalade,
Speaker 1: you know, and she was enjoying that part right there.
Speaker 1: But um yeah, it's um. You know what Norm talking
Speaker 1: about Homi is um is I saw no danger in it.
Speaker 1: And that's the problem. That's because it's different his lifestyle
Speaker 1: and your lifestyle. Your lifestyle and mind is in the hood.
Speaker 1: His lifestyle is a transfer coming to the hood. Coming
Speaker 1: to the hood is easy to walk away. But on
Speaker 1: a daily living in the hood and got to see
Speaker 1: these same people every day on the daily basis and
Speaker 1: functioning this that's what I am. I'm from the hood.
Speaker 1: The hood is me. So that's why our situation is
Speaker 1: totally different. He didn't. He didn't have to endure a
Speaker 1: day to day with the hood. I kept with one
Speaker 1: hundred to the game. I took twenty with it and
Speaker 1: I ran with it. This is my mentality, my values,
Speaker 1: and my beliefs was funked up. Well, God, dude, was culling.
Speaker 1: Your ego killed my ego. Verizon wireless signs getting my
Speaker 1: foods into me, my homeboard, my homeboy gave me get
Speaker 1: feet me. So going back to norm, going back to norm,
Speaker 1: I mean like I had to get the gap. You
Speaker 1: know I can. I can bump one easy. You think
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I still had a little bit. I
Speaker 1: still had that right there. But it's different now if
Speaker 1: I do bump. But what can I do with it?
Speaker 1: Not goddamn thing. So this fear of financial insecurities come in.
Speaker 1: I say, I call a a homie. Um its ghost man,
Speaker 1: it's ghosts and um oh yeah, my probation just got
Speaker 1: transferred from Long Beach to Inglewood, right and uh and
Speaker 1: I had you know, so I'm doing that. I'm catching
Speaker 1: this goddamn bust. And so I called aos. What's up?
Speaker 1: Homies like this? Ghost gain? Yeah, Hey, I can get you.
Speaker 1: I can get you. Thirty I can get I can
Speaker 1: get the car um almost in the game. You know,
Speaker 1: Um I can, I could, I could thirty thousand was
Speaker 1: I'm getting paid four hundred four twenty dollars a week,
Speaker 1: twirling rising Wireley signs the fuck. I tell Norm like, Norm, um,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a jack And he's like, I go
Speaker 1: over his house and he said back and talk. He said, bag,
Speaker 1: you know what you do anything you want to do.
Speaker 1: All I do is make a suggestion phone ring. Hey, ghost,
Speaker 1: what's up. What's up? Else? It was up on me? Um, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: you know what, M I got the whole sixty fuck
Speaker 1: shoot room. I felt it right here Norm Norm's We're
Speaker 1: sitting in his backyard eating toast. You know what. He's
Speaker 1: an old man, you know. And Um, he said, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm gonna tell you on me, I'm good,
Speaker 1: I'm good. He's like, what your man? I said, I'm good?
Speaker 1: I said, you know. He said, you know you looked
Speaker 1: out for me back in the eighties, you know, giving
Speaker 1: me that work. I said, you know that was part
Speaker 1: of my old lifestyle. Man. Um, you know what on me? Um,
Speaker 1: I don't need it. Man. You know I'm cool. I
Speaker 1: guarantee you. I continued into I'm cool. So UM, I said,
Speaker 1: you know what on me? Um, I can't you know,
Speaker 1: we can't talk no more. He said, you're sure. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm positive Gary, And he's like and Norms like looking
Speaker 1: at me, not not this Norm. You know. Um, his
Speaker 1: name is Norman, you know. Um? And I say, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good. I hanged the phone up and
Speaker 1: I'm like, he said, what happened? I said? He said,
Speaker 1: he can get me all sixty. He said, when was
Speaker 1: the first I've been asking for that? For that, I said,
Speaker 1: about a week ago and took what he said. He
Speaker 1: said give me eight and didn't give me thirty, and
Speaker 1: now he could get the whole sixty. So my my
Speaker 1: other homeboy, what messing with this female? Who knew? Soon?
Speaker 1: So I gotta go. Um, I gotta go to Englewood,
Speaker 1: you know, to you know, go see the Pyo Go
Speaker 1: peanut bottle ship like that. And he sits back. His
Speaker 1: name is Mr mctoire. He said, Um, you you changed.
Speaker 1: I see what you mean. He said, Um, I'm glad
Speaker 1: you changed. Mr. So I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean? And he was like, are you
Speaker 1: associating with your old cronies? I said, some people do
Speaker 1: call me, you know, I said, but I have I
Speaker 1: have a strong mentor in my life now. And he
Speaker 1: was like, can I show you something? I said, yeah.
Speaker 1: It's August a special special agent maur Hand with Gary.
Speaker 1: Oh well you know Gary, he gonna you know, the
Speaker 1: wan for Wred. They called the ghost um known drug dealer.
Speaker 1: He's gonna try to um. They called it um an
Speaker 1: overt act. I didn't agree. I agree but I didn't agree.
Speaker 1: I didn't agree. Um, you're don't try to get him. No, No,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that he caught a case coming through Mexico.
Speaker 1: You know, I just got out and I had to
Speaker 1: go drop a deuce. I listened to that ship, special
Speaker 1: Agent marahand the federal um um, the d A. Lauren
Speaker 1: mallerhand this scared ship. Scared. He was about to work
Speaker 1: you and put you back in for sixty grant that
Speaker 1: you had twenty years ago. His mother go was because
Speaker 1: he knows, he knows that what it was for was
Speaker 1: for and where it where it came from. And I
Speaker 1: never told on nobody I got got from doing the
Speaker 1: seventeen year bit on a drug case. Right, they try
Speaker 1: to He's trying to get me, you know, show you
Speaker 1: back to another team. Um, probably so, probably so. And
Speaker 1: then he listened again. A couple of days later, it's
Speaker 1: August fourteen, so on so time, Special Agent maraham, we're
Speaker 1: going to attempt with Mr Gary, attempt to speak with
Speaker 1: Mr Diwan for one more again. I need your thirty dog.
Speaker 1: I'm good. Yeah, let me think about, you know, a
Speaker 1: conversation and then the last one normal sitting there with me.
Speaker 1: And you know what my po said. He said, I'm
Speaker 1: glad you did not say yes because we were gonna
Speaker 1: come and get you. I suppose you're gonna get me
Speaker 1: fall he said, ex feeling and put um in the conspiracy.
Speaker 1: Um um frettened um um its been a conspiracy. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: that and I forgot to I've got the other charge.
Speaker 1: It's some bullshit, right. I had no money. I have
Speaker 1: no more money. Pay no lorders, no more. You know,
Speaker 1: eight dollars, eight dollars. He sain't gonna pay no, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get a public pretender. So make a long story short. Um.
Speaker 1: I came out the bathroom and I said, I dropped
Speaker 1: the duce. I had to go drop a duce. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want to. I don't want to go.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that no more. You see
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So um, I called, I walked out.
Speaker 1: I walked down the Brea and I went to the
Speaker 1: bus stop right there on Manchester because I got a
Speaker 1: little studio apartment, implied del Rey. You know, it was
Speaker 1: probably biggest you bathroom you know? And I called, I
Speaker 1: called Norm, and I said, man, I'm gonna take every
Speaker 1: suggestion that you give me. And he started laughing and says,
Speaker 1: start over again. And I did. And that's the good lad.
Speaker 1: And it's it's hard because most of us don't take heed,
Speaker 1: especially these young cats today ain't gonna listen to you.
Speaker 1: You had to close that book before you started a
Speaker 1: new one. I realized that you can't be Midel James
Speaker 1: and then be James McDonald. You have to close one
Speaker 1: of them. You're only old and possessed one identity. You
Speaker 1: can't live two different knives. You're gonna they gonna interact
Speaker 1: at some point, which what this was, What's gonna happened
Speaker 1: to you? By working with this cat? Now I got
Speaker 1: the whole sixty temptation is a motherfucker. If you never
Speaker 1: spoke with no him and he gave you those suggestions,
Speaker 1: you just you have been out there trying to get
Speaker 1: that jack. Yes, but that jack would have put your
Speaker 1: drove you straight back to where you came from exactly.
Speaker 1: And and you know and one thing that um, what
Speaker 1: he tells me is he tells me that this is
Speaker 1: an old man, is seventy two year old man, a
Speaker 1: little bity dude by five four. He puts his finger
Speaker 1: in my chest and tell me you're not your story
Speaker 1: no more. You will tell your story. Fox me excuse
Speaker 1: my language, fox me up. You will tell your stories
Speaker 1: to being your story. And that's that's And the thing
Speaker 1: about it is he never had no sons, and he
Speaker 1: he has two daughters. And I said, I want everything
Speaker 1: that you got. I want everything that you got. And
Speaker 1: he said, continue to take suggestions and elevate your mind setting,
Speaker 1: your vibration and your frequency, and you will produce similar
Speaker 1: results to myself. See now this is what the This
Speaker 1: is what I do. This is what I do on
Speaker 1: a daily basis. My palms are down these junctures. I
Speaker 1: told Junior the other day, Um, I wear with the
Speaker 1: funk I wanted to wear. I love to think this.
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna lie. Um, but I'm wearing a red
Speaker 1: a Theata sweatsuit just like this. And I'm in the
Speaker 1: store in Inglewood called Robert's Market. I see these three youngsters, right,
Speaker 1: you know, wearing these skinny jeans you know, you know,
Speaker 1: sagging and ship. So I walk up to the store
Speaker 1: and the first thing they do is they look at this.
Speaker 1: Remember I used to be on the other side, you know,
Speaker 1: so raids a new thank to me. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So I'm wearing this red on four dita suit.
Speaker 1: This was Thursday, Friday, last Friday. Um. And then I
Speaker 1: walked inside the liquor store, right I got, I got
Speaker 1: my mask on everything, and these three youngsters they just
Speaker 1: look at me. I said, what's up, youngsters, how do
Speaker 1: you doing? What's your name? What's your name? I'm d
Speaker 1: J Vaerette man. They used to call me. Go push
Speaker 1: up with your name. And they look at me, and
Speaker 1: I said, don't be afraid of me. I'm not afraid
Speaker 1: of you. I see your life matters to me. I said,
Speaker 1: I come here to buy a fantasy and a pack
Speaker 1: of cigarettes. Don't get afraid of me. And in all
Speaker 1: this right here and all that following went down, and
Speaker 1: I said, um, sit y'all up to night. We're just
Speaker 1: trying to get a little, you know, a little something.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm forty nine years old. Then they're made
Speaker 1: by in their early thirties. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And and they said, I'm not afraid of you. I
Speaker 1: see you look defensive when I walk inside the store.
Speaker 1: You guys just kept looking at me, you know, I said,
Speaker 1: I'm don't be afraid to be youngest. You know. You
Speaker 1: said your life matters to me. You know, I hope
Speaker 1: my life matters to you too. And they were like,
Speaker 1: make a long story show. I called Junior right after that,
Speaker 1: and we're on the phone. I said, Man, I'm in
Speaker 1: the fucking parking lot at Robert's Liquor and Inglewood and
Speaker 1: we're just chopping it up with these junctions. And I said,
Speaker 1: the thing is, you need to give this away. You
Speaker 1: need to evade your vibration, your frequency. So when we
Speaker 1: see somebody that looks like you, you don't have to
Speaker 1: be afraid. You see what I'm saying. I said, because
Speaker 1: your life matters. My life matters, I said, Edward, the
Speaker 1: funk I go. If I'm on eight of the main,
Speaker 1: if I'm in fucking Compton, if I'm in fucking Wise,
Speaker 1: if I'm in the Pacific Palisades, and if I'm if
Speaker 1: I put off the freeway and I'm by the Nicholsons
Speaker 1: and I go up to the gas station, I should be.
Speaker 1: I should don't be. Don't be afraid of you, because
Speaker 1: fear means false evidence appearing real. So don't be afraid
Speaker 1: of me, you know, I'm you know, I taught these
Speaker 1: guys face everything and rise. This is my this is
Speaker 1: my thing, and that's where we gotta get afraid of
Speaker 1: each other. And when I told you me, answer James,
Speaker 1: I just I spent seventeen years in penitentiary. No, no,
Speaker 1: you've seen me. Saw my prison card. I'm like, no, like, yes,
Speaker 1: I did, I see I did. I've been there, So
Speaker 1: you don't have to We're gonna keep spreading that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we don have to keep spreading up if you can't
Speaker 1: do me a favor because we got a lot of
Speaker 1: people look at the show. Explain what vibrations and frequencies are,
Speaker 1: because I'm pretty sure it's a lot of people out
Speaker 1: there that don't know. Oh right, all right, um, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna speak about my experience or what I
Speaker 1: learned through vibrations and frequency. It's it's it's it's a feeling.
Speaker 1: You cannot see it. You can see the results of
Speaker 1: a vibration or or higher frequency, but you cannot see it.
Speaker 1: Um My, Now, I never imagine even speaking like this before.
Speaker 1: But me, um, I know that everything is perfect, right.
Speaker 1: I do believe in I believe in God, you know,
Speaker 1: not organized religion. That's not my thing. But if it's
Speaker 1: it's it's more of a spiritual thing, which is an
Speaker 1: invisible thing, right, which is a vibration, which is the frequency,
Speaker 1: which is I like to call God. This is me right,
Speaker 1: which is perfect? It's perfect. So everything I look at,
Speaker 1: I see a vibration or a frequency. Like when we
Speaker 1: met high vibration, high frequency, we and you transmitted something
Speaker 1: which the laws of attraction. So I know that you're perfect.
Speaker 1: I know everybody's perfect, right, I know, but that vibration
Speaker 1: needs a point of reference. The vibration needs a point
Speaker 1: of reference for me. This is my interpretation of that.
Speaker 1: So if I can transmit it our it's a laws
Speaker 1: of attraction. And I know that my invisible part of me,
Speaker 1: my invisible the part that only I know, was undeveloped
Speaker 1: at one time. That's because we live a toxic life.
Speaker 1: It was perfect, but undeveloped. So therefore my human experience
Speaker 1: has been toxic. Right. So once I learned to tune
Speaker 1: in to this thing called perfection, which is a vibration
Speaker 1: or frequency, and I developed that just like buff iron,
Speaker 1: just like we learned, like we learned stuff. I learned
Speaker 1: this inside stuff which is the invisible part which I
Speaker 1: know it was perfect and therefore the results I produced
Speaker 1: A dann, You're perfect and my toxic and my human
Speaker 1: experience ain't been toxic anymore. So it's a tuning in.
Speaker 1: It's listening to that my voice, which is which connects.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of deep, man, it's real deep. But um,
Speaker 1: I learned. I learned this stuff when I was um,
Speaker 1: when I was in Turkey. Um, I learned this the
Speaker 1: same thing when I was in Australian Melbourne, when I
Speaker 1: was speaking with the Aboriginals when they were in cars rated.
Speaker 1: Because this is what I get a chance to do.
Speaker 1: I get a chance to go with different places. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm blessed on me. I'm blessed. I can take this.
Speaker 1: I can take the twenty year prisoners that they gave
Speaker 1: me and I can convert that into an asset. Yeah
Speaker 1: I do. You know, I do get paid for that.
Speaker 1: You know, I like, I ain't a lie, but um,
Speaker 1: I take that and I go to these places. You know, Um,
Speaker 1: and I talked about this perfection and you know, Aboriginals
Speaker 1: they're real spiritual. Everything is nature, everything is is they
Speaker 1: see God. You know, you know what I'm saying, but
Speaker 1: I get them, I get their attention by telling my
Speaker 1: story and they don't see saying And so that's that's
Speaker 1: that's tuning in to that how my frequency um of
Speaker 1: tuning that in and getting the high vibration. Because if
Speaker 1: I wasn't little different vibrations or say, a different channel,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be sitting him with you. I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: sitting him exactly exactly. And that's the thing, um, what
Speaker 1: I wanted to get across, man is um, I look
Speaker 1: at James, I look at you. You know, people that
Speaker 1: actually been through the storm, just changed their life right,
Speaker 1: and and all of that is real. I tell I
Speaker 1: preached that to everybody that I know that you know,
Speaker 1: trying to get in the business or whatever it is
Speaker 1: they're doing. I'm telling that you have to get you
Speaker 1: right first before you try to embark on anything. And
Speaker 1: everything can't be about money because if you're doing the
Speaker 1: right thing, the money had comes. It's weird how it works.
Speaker 1: It's a reward because if you do, if you work hard.
Speaker 1: Like when we came in here to do this podcast,
Speaker 1: we never talked about money. At first. It was always
Speaker 1: less make the dopest thing possible. Because I had this
Speaker 1: idea for three years and I never went forward with
Speaker 1: it because I got to get the right people involved
Speaker 1: with it, you know what I mean, Because it was
Speaker 1: that I saw being like, um, not just a seasonal
Speaker 1: show one or two years things. I saw being a
Speaker 1: thing that where brothers can get together around table to
Speaker 1: a certain experiences, and it's something that's like that's gonna
Speaker 1: go beyond me. You know. It's almost like the guy
Speaker 1: that opened up the first McDonald's franchise, you know, he
Speaker 1: didn't see him have him you know, McDonald's all over
Speaker 1: the world at that time. He just opened up a
Speaker 1: Burger's thing, you know, but then it spread. I see
Speaker 1: this being a thing that where thirty years from us,
Speaker 1: three more brothers sitting at the table talking. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Well, it is actually time for it,
Speaker 1: and like I said, things in life is happening because
Speaker 1: of that, and it's time for change, and it's it's
Speaker 1: you know, we didn't happen to be sitting across the
Speaker 1: table on the flute. You know what I'm saying. I
Speaker 1: think things are being placed in front of me. Is
Speaker 1: what as you was knowing and everybody that listened to
Speaker 1: this podcast we all getting a chance to see in
Speaker 1: here and listen to your story, my story, and if
Speaker 1: you if you add it up, man, it's all the same,
Speaker 1: the same fucking road. But I went over the hill
Speaker 1: this way, I hit the curve this way, and yours
Speaker 1: went that way. But it's all the same thing, and
Speaker 1: everything is coming straight out of the neighborhood. So learning
Speaker 1: that and understanding that and then growing up and growing
Speaker 1: up as men sinning wrong and knowing that there's a
Speaker 1: need for change. That's that that this is, this is
Speaker 1: a cold piece right here, and everybody got to see
Speaker 1: and understand that. You don't want to be on this
Speaker 1: pin off, you know that, because with this, I mean
Speaker 1: you gotta bring you hey game to to to get out,
Speaker 1: to get out of prison and then be able to
Speaker 1: show that and say I've made it out. But this
Speaker 1: is what I'm doing with it. And that's one of
Speaker 1: my biggest things. The young catch is not understanding that
Speaker 1: today it's glorifying it, man, you know it's um. It's
Speaker 1: it's it's you know, glorifying and desensitizing um. And they
Speaker 1: don't understand of how you watch your mama get old
Speaker 1: in the visiting room, These catching understanding when they watch
Speaker 1: their kids grow up in the visiting room and then
Speaker 1: have grandkids in the visiting room. They ain't understanding that.
Speaker 1: You know. They're talking about, you know, pulling these pistols out.
Speaker 1: Now there's a consequence for that. Either gonna get the
Speaker 1: death penalty or you're gonna get stretched the funk out
Speaker 1: or get killed. And these these bullet wounds I got
Speaker 1: in my back. I made it. I heard you talking
Speaker 1: about that. It's like motherfucker's don't understanding what what a
Speaker 1: hot one feels like. And you and you got your
Speaker 1: you got your fifteen years old, and you wonder why
Speaker 1: he fell on the ground. He's bleeding out of his ear,
Speaker 1: and then you know, you look back in. Motherfucker's just
Speaker 1: shoot because I'm wanting a different code. You know, motheruck's
Speaker 1: ain't understanding that, you know, because it's the values and
Speaker 1: beliefs I believed in my in my hood at one time,
Speaker 1: and I believed that I was grapping my hood. But
Speaker 1: now I got this new information real on me. What
Speaker 1: I was doing was I was a part of holding
Speaker 1: my neighborhood hostage and making it dangerous. That's true. You know,
Speaker 1: my neighborhood. Now, I'm gonna tell you it's funny. It's
Speaker 1: the most populated place for tricker treaters because I sit
Speaker 1: on my porch and give off and give off candy,
Speaker 1: and like where y'are from, they ain't from nowheld, I
Speaker 1: live in the Pacific Palace, Sage. Now you see what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, and it's it's a blessing that I got
Speaker 1: a chance to. You know, I got blessed with opportunities.
Speaker 1: So that's that's where I raised my children at. You know,
Speaker 1: but living up there is very few people that look
Speaker 1: like my neighbor Barondad, she lived down street. You know, Um,
Speaker 1: Sugar Ray Leonard, you know ship like that, you know. Um.
Speaker 1: Sitting back on my porch seeing these youngsters man, these
Speaker 1: kids and they're having fun. It's like we used to
Speaker 1: leave the projects to go trick or treat, you know, um,
Speaker 1: because my older homeboys made it dangerous. That's people keep
Speaker 1: a call. We just gonna put in work. I ain't
Speaker 1: talking about going to McDonald's or putting work to rep
Speaker 1: the neighborhood. You feel what I'm saying. I know what,
Speaker 1: I know what Chicken previous lay, I knew what the
Speaker 1: fourth of July, was like, yeah, I don't stay at home.
Speaker 1: You know where I live now, where I raised my
Speaker 1: children that right now, Um, it's it's it's a little
Speaker 1: bit different. And um and people say, are you gonna
Speaker 1: tell your kids about your previous life? I said, when
Speaker 1: they don't have to understand, I said, because you know
Speaker 1: they're gonna read. They're gonna read daddy's book. You know,
Speaker 1: I wrote, Um, some of the stuff that I get
Speaker 1: a chance to do when I get a chance to
Speaker 1: go out there to a university or a different country
Speaker 1: to go look at their penal system and wonder what
Speaker 1: I've done, because they want to have a blueprint, you know,
Speaker 1: so they want to know that. So when they asked me, um,
Speaker 1: you know who ever thought you asked my opinion of
Speaker 1: how can I add some ship to a prison, um
Speaker 1: for a re entry programs for our inmates to um
Speaker 1: to use because you've been successful in it. So um,
Speaker 1: they're foreign field between. But I do get a chance
Speaker 1: to go do that. You see what I'm saying. Um, Um,
Speaker 1: we're just giving them for an important person to cut off.
Speaker 1: Because people need this information. That's what this show was
Speaker 1: all the semblance of information what's the name of your book? Oh?
Speaker 1: The name of my book is called an Inside Job
Speaker 1: from Life and Amaze to an Amazing Life. What could
Speaker 1: people go first? They can go purchases at www dot
Speaker 1: mr d J for red dot com m R d
Speaker 1: J v E R R E t T dot com.
Speaker 1: They can go get that right there, and we can
Speaker 1: have a link right there in the description. We have
Speaker 1: a link for the podcast and description. So check for that. Man.
Speaker 1: You know, this has been incredible, man, Man, and I
Speaker 1: really you know, I thank you for coming through and
Speaker 1: sharing this information with us, Man, because it's very important.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have you back again. I appreciate that, Man,
Speaker 1: I think was one quick thing. All close with this. Man. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm a clinical supervisor. I'm got to school and I
Speaker 1: got some education from my belt. Because can't nobody take
Speaker 1: that from you the films, am Um. I'm a clinical
Speaker 1: supervisor and I get these inmates ready. That's all I do.
Speaker 1: I work with the mind. I said they will never
Speaker 1: this this mc RP would never hire me. They hired me.
Speaker 1: I've been working at two years and the success rate
Speaker 1: is fucking ridiculous because I have the blueprint and I'm
Speaker 1: one of them. I go to work. I wore a
Speaker 1: tie every day I go to work. I model away
Speaker 1: and closing February six, I'm I'm the clinical part. I'm
Speaker 1: the clinical part. Right. They bring these guys in and
Speaker 1: I issue them out to my staff. Right, they're all
Speaker 1: they're all counselors. They're all clinical counselors. I look at
Speaker 1: the birthday on there, and I say, April second, nineteen
Speaker 1: and one. I look at the name. It's Cold defending
Speaker 1: my home boy, the one who pointed me out. M hmm.
Speaker 1: Here I am twenty eight years later to the day
Speaker 1: on I said, I said, make sure he's the last
Speaker 1: one that comes to my office, comes to me because
Speaker 1: I had to do a clinical assessment on him. He
Speaker 1: comes in my office and look like he saw ghosts
Speaker 1: and then ship, I'll tell him to sit down. He
Speaker 1: looks at me like I'm looking at you. He's tall,
Speaker 1: you know, talk brother, you know. I was like, this
Speaker 1: is Bizarres, and you know what the day is, He says,
Speaker 1: February six. I see. I said, man, before we start,
Speaker 1: let me apologize to you. And he said for what.
Speaker 1: He still got the orange jumps, So don't he say
Speaker 1: for what? I let me apologize for my behavior and
Speaker 1: forgiving you something that you couldn't handle the consequences which
Speaker 1: forced you to do something you don't want to do.
Speaker 1: It was based on fear. I forgive you. I said,
Speaker 1: twenty years did not break me. Twenty years and my
Speaker 1: brave dog. And he looked at me. I said, who would.
Speaker 1: I would have never thought that will be in this position.
Speaker 1: I said, numbers, numbers, February seen you in my office.
Speaker 1: I'm here to help you with your thinking, your values
Speaker 1: and beliefs. I held on to this. You're telling on me,
Speaker 1: you're bringing me to the lifestyle, and you're telling on me.
Speaker 1: So I forgive you. I said, do you forgive me?
Speaker 1: I need your forgiveness. And you just said, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: the man ship right there. Yeah, because you know the
Speaker 1: thing meals nothing happened seeing and I noticed for effect
Speaker 1: man because we're nothing like that. But I know I
Speaker 1: forgave him because we all have these journeys in life
Speaker 1: man like James said, this is like a book, right,
Speaker 1: but nothing happens in this story that we're living right now.
Speaker 1: Nothing happens in this reality we're living by action, like
Speaker 1: I just didn't meet you him by accident, like this
Speaker 1: didn't meet you by accident. Some people are there for
Speaker 1: a season. Some people are there for the whole duration
Speaker 1: of that book. However, long with he is, you know
Speaker 1: how long with hels. And we have to be able
Speaker 1: to recognize that, will be conscious of it that nothing
Speaker 1: is about mistake. Everything is part of a plan. For
Speaker 1: every failure, there's a lesson, not of You can't look
Speaker 1: at it as a failure. It's a lesson, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, For every victory you have to look
Speaker 1: at and learn from. This is a continuous learning process, man.
Speaker 1: And it's just amazing how everything works. It was a
Speaker 1: blessing man. And you know, Um, I told my mama.
Speaker 1: I told my mama and she was like, thank you Jesus,
Speaker 1: thank you Jesus. And I said, you know, I said,
Speaker 1: I said down, Yeah, that was it, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: let's I forgive you. It fucked him up because I'm
Speaker 1: asking for his forgiveness, you know, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And he's I forgive you as I forgive you too.
Speaker 1: So we grew up together, you know you. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's about it. And I spread the word for real,
Speaker 1: and I want to thank um. Thank you James for
Speaker 1: having me with Thank you knowing for having me and
Speaker 1: on Gangs to chronicles, you know, and hopefully that something
Speaker 1: that I said will affect or reach you know, the viewers.
Speaker 1: I'm quite sure a lot of things you said would. Uh.
Speaker 1: I can't get my point across without them hearing your
Speaker 1: point and everybody else just sit at the table with
Speaker 1: their views and values on ready yet now and it's working.
Speaker 1: It's working. And I guarantee you this just just when running,
Speaker 1: this episode's gonna work, bro because a lot of good
Speaker 1: things came out of seventeen years. So people just gotta understand.
Speaker 1: We take these rides and they all mean something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, But we just we just
Speaker 1: took those rides in different cards, but we arrived in
Speaker 1: the same motherfucker place. Man. We're trying to get back
Speaker 1: and trying to put a band aid on what we
Speaker 1: you know, what we show up, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: and if we don't do that, we lost. So with
Speaker 1: us doing what we're doing, and man, I would I
Speaker 1: wish nothing but the best. And we got to do
Speaker 1: a part two here because it's so much to you
Speaker 1: that these cats realn't need to hear well. I'm just
Speaker 1: seeing the thing man, the dynamic that you too add Man.
Speaker 1: I really want a man like you guys need to
Speaker 1: go and road together. Let's do it. I'm pretty sure. Man,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of you know. I tell him I
Speaker 1: love having conversations with him, man, because I can always
Speaker 1: tell him that he's an onion of me. It's like
Speaker 1: you peel back those layers. Man, you just like this
Speaker 1: dude is not that you think he was because C James.
Speaker 1: I think people get a certain impression of him and
Speaker 1: they think that's what it is. I'm saying, No, it's
Speaker 1: one of the people's brothers. I think you want me.
Speaker 1: I mean, we want to these people that you for me.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. So don't so do yourself
Speaker 1: a favorite, don't prea judge. You know what I mean
Speaker 1: that you're doing yourself with the service you so um
Speaker 1: um you know him and you James um again, man um,
Speaker 1: I could do it. I can't do it by myself.
Speaker 1: I really, I really want to thank both of you
Speaker 1: guys for having this, this podcast, this Gangster Chronicles. I
Speaker 1: really want to I really I really appreciate that and
Speaker 1: what you guys are transmitting for real is you gots
Speaker 1: are transmitting the bank keeping your palms down because you
Speaker 1: guys are helping a lot of people. Yes, there's a
Speaker 1: story that goes along with it, but it's the depth
Speaker 1: and way that you guys bring. And I want to
Speaker 1: say thank you because um, I'm a fan of gangster chronicles.
Speaker 1: I don't know, so you guys appreciate it, man, And
Speaker 1: that's the whole purpose of the story. And that's what
Speaker 1: I tell people, because you know, we talked to all
Speaker 1: the fans out there, so wherever you email, it comes
Speaker 1: to you an answer. Man. Not tell them this is
Speaker 1: not glorification of it. Don't take the wrong stuff from
Speaker 1: this is not here, you know, because they want to.
Speaker 1: You know, some of these people who watched this show,
Speaker 1: they want everything to be shooting my bang bang, and
Speaker 1: it's not about that. If that's all you get them
Speaker 1: from it, then that men, either we're doing something wrong
Speaker 1: or your frequency is all right, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: You need to open up a little bit more. Jill
Speaker 1: part to part to pick