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Speaker 1: Another Jebel on the twenties customer service. This is Eddie.

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Speaker 1: Oh hello Eddie? Or should I call you Edward? It

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Edward's my given name. That's fine, okay, how cooint? Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to call you Edward and Edward. Last week,

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Speaker 1: my assistant came into your shopping establishment and bought four

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Speaker 1: shirts for me, and I have a rather large complaint.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry to hear that. First and foremost. What's your complaint? Oh? Well,

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Speaker 1: it's good to know that you feel bad about it.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, yes, well let me tell you my complaint. Okay.

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Speaker 1: When my assistant returned from shopping there, I tried the

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Speaker 1: shirts on and I found out something that shocked me

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Speaker 1: to my very core. What happened? Well, it turns out

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Speaker 1: that one of the shirts that I put on my

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Speaker 1: body was on sale. Did you say on sale? It

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Speaker 1: was a sale item marked down in price, Yes, and

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Speaker 1: it touched my flesh. Well, that seems like that's a

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Speaker 1: good thing. We saved you a little money. I don't

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Speaker 1: understand what the problem would be. How dare you? I

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Speaker 1: do not buy anything on sale that is for coupon

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Speaker 1: clippers and beggars. I only buy clothing full price. As

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Speaker 1: a matter of fact, I overpay quite often, all right,

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Speaker 1: but you know oftentimes we have internal markdowns. Let's save

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Speaker 1: you money. Oh well, I hope you're not telling people

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Speaker 1: about that anyway. My assistant has been fired for that,

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Speaker 1: and that's why I'm calling you. You fired your assistant

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Speaker 1: because she bought you his shirt that was on sale. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I did. She should have known better. I mean, look,

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Speaker 1: price aside. Did you like how the shirt felt? Did

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Speaker 1: you like how it looked on you? Did I like

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Speaker 1: feeling like I make the median income in the country. No,

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Speaker 1: I felt like a middle class citizen. You're funny, Absolutely not.

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Speaker 1: I hated every minute of it. Well, look, you know

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Speaker 1: I'd like you to charge me full retail price for

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Speaker 1: the shirt. Please. I hope you can make this right.

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Speaker 1: Well you honestly, you would need to return to the

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Speaker 1: location where you purchased it, and I demand to pay more.

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Speaker 1: I'm really sorry. You know, in all my years, I

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Speaker 1: have never had someone call and complain because they got

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Speaker 1: a great deal on an item. A great deal, you say,

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Speaker 1: Do you have any idea what my friends in business

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Speaker 1: associates would say if they knew that I tried on

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Speaker 1: a shirt that was on sale. I'd be left out

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Speaker 1: of the country club. I don't want you to get upset.

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Speaker 1: I just I don't fully understand what I can do

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Speaker 1: to assist you. Okay, Yes, and I guess I shouldn't

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Speaker 1: expect you to understand. You work all day disinfecting fitting rooms,

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Speaker 1: don't you. Well, that's not really a polite thing to

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Speaker 1: say to someone who's trying to help you. Sir, Well,

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Speaker 1: sometimes the truth isn't polite. I leave work and my

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Speaker 1: fingers smell like money. You leave work and your fingers

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Speaker 1: smell like other people's bombs. Excuse me. I don't judge you.

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Speaker 1: I don't expect you to judge me. That's crossing the line.

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Speaker 1: You know that is hilarious. Tell me how much money

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Speaker 1: you make? That's none of your business. How much money

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Speaker 1: I make? Oh, I'm sorry, Edward. Did you hear that?

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Speaker 1: Did you hear that? Edward? Did I hear what? Oh?

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Speaker 1: That was the sound of change falling out of my pocket.

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Speaker 1: I bet it's your yearly salary that I just dropped.

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Speaker 1: I don't have time for this. I'm gonna I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: pass you on to my supervisor. This, this conversation is

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Speaker 1: taking an offensive turn. You know, I bet if you hurry,

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Speaker 1: you could come over here and pick it up, because

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Speaker 1: I don't need it. You know what, you're just like

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Speaker 1: all these customers are coming here. You're so arrogant. You

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Speaker 1: don't appreciate what we do. We don't appreciate the service

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Speaker 1: that we provide you and the fact that we're trying

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Speaker 1: to save you some money. I cannot wrap my head

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Speaker 1: around saving money is for poor people, you know, you know,

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Speaker 1: saving people money is a good thing, all right. You know,

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Speaker 1: maybe I'm not in the same position as you, but

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Speaker 1: I certainly understand the economy. Okay, Well, actually, you know what,

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Speaker 1: you bring up a very good point, and I would

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Speaker 1: like to help the economy. I would like to purchase

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Speaker 1: something from your store. Fine, fine, fine, you know what.

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Speaker 1: I am positive that if you come down to the store,

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Speaker 1: we have plenty of items that are full priced that

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Speaker 1: you can waste your money on. Well, thank you, but

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Speaker 1: I only have my eye on one item right now. You.

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Speaker 1: I would like to purchase you. What I'd like to

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Speaker 1: purchase you as my new clothing accessory. I'll throw you

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Speaker 1: over my shoulders and where you as a human shawl.

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Speaker 1: You know what you sir, are a pretentious goal and

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Speaker 1: I don't care if swearing at you cost me my

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Speaker 1: job because it's worth it because people like you you

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Speaker 1: just make it so much harder for everybody else. Well,

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Speaker 1: I will agree with you. This prank phone call has

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Speaker 1: been completely worth it because I finally got you to

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Speaker 1: swear at me. It took a while, didn't it. What

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Speaker 1: did you just say? Oh? Did I forget to tell you?

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Speaker 1: This is actually Jewel from Brook and Jewel in the

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Speaker 1: morning doing a phone tap on you. Your wife, Noel

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Speaker 1: set you up? Wait? Wait, wait, wait a minute, wait

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Speaker 1: a minute this no are you serious? Yes? Yes, your

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Speaker 1: wife told me that your job has been boring lately,

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Speaker 1: and she wanted me to spice things up a little

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Speaker 1: bit for you. I thinks up. Well, I am out

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Speaker 1: of my chair. I thought I was going to lose

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Speaker 1: my job here. Oh my, oh my god, look at

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Speaker 1: you concerned for your job. I haven't been worried about employment.

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Speaker 1: Well I guess ever, Oh Edward, what? I know that

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Speaker 1: you're children, but I still kind of hate here. Wake

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Speaker 1: up every morning with jewel phone taps weekday mornings on

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Speaker 1: the twenties two point five