Speaker 1: Portions of This Is Americans Live, The improvised documentary podcast,
Speaker 1: are brought to you by listeners like yourself, are esteemed sponsors,
Speaker 1: and the all powerful, all knowing Random Sentence Generator, which
Speaker 1: inspires the stories you're about to hear. Yes, whenever you
Speaker 1: hear this sound, the next sentence you hear is a
Speaker 1: random sentence provided by our revered omnipotent random sentence Generator.
Speaker 1: For more of This is Americans Live, listen to more
Speaker 1: episodes of This is Americans Live. I guess and now
Speaker 1: your first random sentence. You to walk down the Slot
Speaker 1: canyon oblivious to the sound of thunder in the distance.
Speaker 1: They don't really care. They just kept walking towards it.
Speaker 1: Maybe they were running from something, maybe they were going
Speaker 1: to something, but the thunder was loud and very obvious.
Speaker 1: I don't care. I just want to be with you.
Speaker 1: I don't care how dangerous it looks. I just want
Speaker 1: to be here for you. Greg. Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: And do you have to go through this checklist? We're
Speaker 1: going into this canyon? Okay, alright, alright, you're grabbing me.
Speaker 1: I just have to go because I want to pay
Speaker 1: with you. Kendra, I get it, Yes, I get it,
Speaker 1: but we're going into this canyon and I don't care
Speaker 1: how dangerous. We have a safety checklist, ok okay, okay,
Speaker 1: we gotta go through it, fly through them quickly because
Speaker 1: I can't stress enough. I want to be okay. Alright, alright, okay,
Speaker 1: truck up on the side of the truck, said ranger.
Speaker 1: The guy comes out clearly used the ranger. I don't
Speaker 1: care if he plans to arrest us for stresspassing. I
Speaker 1: just want to be with you. What are you guys
Speaker 1: doing out here? Oh? No, hey, it's exploring. What you
Speaker 1: know there's a thunderstorm? Or did you hear that noise?
Speaker 1: Are you guys? Are you are? It's me, It's it's
Speaker 1: it's me. It's Jack Anderson. Yeah, the Explorer. I'm Jack Anderson,
Speaker 1: the Explorer. I wait, from the TV show You're Not jacking? Yeah?
Speaker 1: From Jackson show me some I d Jonathan Holy shit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love your show man man. Yeah, we're you just
Speaker 1: look different. You got a beard on or something or
Speaker 1: it like you did, just look different. I didn't reconnize. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I've been growing the beard out and mean,
Speaker 1: my my best girl. We're gonna We're gonna go down
Speaker 1: into the canyon, no matter how dangerous it is. He man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've watched your show. I know what you can and
Speaker 1: can't do. You do whatever you need to do. Man,
Speaker 1: you go out there, just so if anybody, any of
Speaker 1: the rangers asks you, don't tell them. I said that
Speaker 1: you can go up there. All right, Terence, I see
Speaker 1: your name Terence, Terence, but there's a Terrance to who
Speaker 1: also works here. Just make sure you don't. It's with
Speaker 1: the name mind the Knee. You know my show. You
Speaker 1: know what we're gonna be. We're just gonna be looking
Speaker 1: to see what the earliest like you know, cave drawings are.
Speaker 1: How early was you talk and humanized? That's what we're
Speaker 1: gonna do. Believe this. We're gonna go check out. Man.
Speaker 1: You know you know my game. It's all about human
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna believe you. Man, Okay, it's not you. That's
Speaker 1: when he lost his girlfriend to the thunderstorm. The lightning
Speaker 1: came straight down and write her from the top of
Speaker 1: her head down to the tip of her dead. No, Kendra, Kendra, Kendra,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm so sorry. Whoa we're happening over here.
Speaker 1: By the way, Torrance, how did you guys got here?
Speaker 1: We drove me here. I who told you you could
Speaker 1: come down here? I just go, man, that's just my thing.
Speaker 1: I go places I don't I don't get permission. I
Speaker 1: just And now it's killed someone, Terence. So you want
Speaker 1: to tell me why there was a couple down by
Speaker 1: the canyon in the middle of a thunderstorm. Wait what,
Speaker 1: I didn't see any couple there. I don't lie to me, Terence.
Speaker 1: I'm not lying to you. You honestly think if I
Speaker 1: would have seen somebody like Jack and Ship. Hold on,
Speaker 1: that was Jacket. Yeah, that was Jack Anderson. You saw
Speaker 1: him to him and his lady. Well his lady is dead,
Speaker 1: but that was Jacket. What she That was him from
Speaker 1: the show? Yeah, from the show. He has a beard.
Speaker 1: Jack Anderson ended up having to bury the girl that
Speaker 1: he had aided for a brief amount of time, and
Speaker 1: he was a guest on a few different talk shows.
Speaker 1: Everybody couldn't help but ask him about what happened to
Speaker 1: his lady partner, rather than when his new show is
Speaker 1: going to come out. So I'm so excited that you're here.
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. And um, I know that
Speaker 1: the producers have been wanting to teach on the show
Speaker 1: for a long time, really long time. Big fan. That's
Speaker 1: our producer, that's Jeff, big fan. Are you doing? Thanks
Speaker 1: for being a Thank you for being so great that
Speaker 1: I would want to be a fan. So you got
Speaker 1: a new show coming out? Do you want to tell
Speaker 1: us a little bit about it? It's happened to the girl? Well,
Speaker 1: it was clear we who were gonna go back to
Speaker 1: the Kender story. There was the gods, you know, the
Speaker 1: did you murder hair? No, I didn't know. She was
Speaker 1: a lovely girl. It just a range of you talk
Speaker 1: took her away much too quickly. But if we could
Speaker 1: talk about my show adventure is now well we'll get
Speaker 1: to that. Let me ask you a question. Before Candrew,
Speaker 1: you dated another girl. Do you remember a girl named Gina? Well,
Speaker 1: guess what, Gina remembers you too. Gina, come on out here,
Speaker 1: it's me. You remember me? Do you remember me? None
Speaker 1: of this? And then I'm back. You thought I was
Speaker 1: never gonna be back, but now I'm big. Jana came
Speaker 1: out from behind the studio audience or wherever these guests
Speaker 1: usually come from. She had a white streak of hair,
Speaker 1: that ran through her dark black hair, and all of
Speaker 1: her melanin was split down the middle. It's hard to explain,
Speaker 1: but basically she looked like she had been struck by
Speaker 1: lightning directly on the top of her head. And this
Speaker 1: was the aftermath. I was not briefed on this our interview.
Speaker 1: You brought another one of your horrors to the canyon
Speaker 1: and got them struck by line into Look at that, sister,
Speaker 1: It's I'm cursed. Okay, everyone at home. Every woman that
Speaker 1: I've ever loved has been struck by lining. It's how
Speaker 1: do you want to hear you in the camera? You want?
Speaker 1: You want to know that? Of course, years went by
Speaker 1: because Jack Amerson lost this show. He was down and
Speaker 1: out and he was still looking for love, so he
Speaker 1: decided to check out the most new dating app to
Speaker 1: see what he could find. Bro, have you seen this one?
Speaker 1: This is the most new dating app. Have you seen
Speaker 1: it called? It's called I'm Scared of Lightning App? Every
Speaker 1: single every single check on this app. She's scared of lightning,
Speaker 1: so she will go out of her way to avoid
Speaker 1: lightning at all costs. So I saw it. Light barkeep
Speaker 1: barkeep light for me, my friend? How do I click down. Okay,
Speaker 1: look at her, Look at her. How scared she seemed
Speaker 1: to be of lightning. I just figured this was your
Speaker 1: your kind of thing, you know, because so many of
Speaker 1: your girls died from from lightning, so you want to
Speaker 1: avoid it. At that point, they both decided to go
Speaker 1: out or a cigarette break. Jack didn't smoke, but his
Speaker 1: partner Bart was a big smoker. Hey, Brosanna, is there
Speaker 1: a storm coming. I'm gonna go check it. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go investigate. When people come, win me, be careful. It's
Speaker 1: expanded to my friends. No. That's when Jack realized that
Speaker 1: is cursed and only select the ones that he loved romantically,
Speaker 1: but also he loved in general, his friends, his lovers.
Speaker 1: He didn't know it was next you boys recording all this.
Speaker 1: He gotta go here. You you were Mr Host and
Speaker 1: you and you have do you audio? Guy? You're gonna
Speaker 1: go You're gonna get killed. Get away from this bargain.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's fine. Can I get you do it
Speaker 1: my check real quick quick? Go one. Luckily I did
Speaker 1: all my audio after the fact, so I wasn't even
Speaker 1: close to them when they were outside in the storm.
Speaker 1: This is this is American's Live I'm Your Host, Sorry
Speaker 1: with producer Andy. Our special guest contributor for this episode
Speaker 1: is Scott Palmerston. In our show, we will be using
Speaker 1: our Trustee Sentence Generator to bring you a story in
Speaker 1: three improvised acts. This week's theme, partnership, could range from
Speaker 1: anything from friendship to romantic relationships to even your family
Speaker 1: partnerships the whole spectrum. Stay with us Act one. His
Speaker 1: ultimate dream fantasy consisted of being content and sleeping eight
Speaker 1: hours in a row, also to wake up to banana
Speaker 1: pancakes every other day. He had these very childish fantasies,
Speaker 1: ones that he never let go of, even from childhood
Speaker 1: and his adulthood. He wanted to be treated like he
Speaker 1: was a kid on vacation. Is That's the thing I
Speaker 1: don't get about Ben. He's you know, he's he's successful.
Speaker 1: He's what you're You're a hedge fund manager. And here's
Speaker 1: the thing, like I just been missing you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just don't meet that. I just I've just really
Speaker 1: tapped into that, which makes me young Adam, you know,
Speaker 1: young Adam. That's head. I just want to be able
Speaker 1: to enjoy and take care of the kid inside who
Speaker 1: just wants to have fruit loops. Who just wants to
Speaker 1: play Mega Man three over and over again. I don't
Speaker 1: think there's anything wrong with that. You have a hard
Speaker 1: time focusing on your adult responsibilities when you have these
Speaker 1: childish wants. I respect for your coming from. I don't
Speaker 1: think they're childish wants. I think it's who I am. Ultimately, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I live in a house with other people, don't pay
Speaker 1: a lot of rents. We also made sure not to
Speaker 1: give him any responsibility, all right. You know, we knew
Speaker 1: we wouldn't be able to handle him because his eyes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Mega manitry the other plan and having kids. He has
Speaker 1: three kids. The state took the kids away. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: have three. I have three kids. Yeah, child Protective Services
Speaker 1: took those kids away. There, that's right, you know, like
Speaker 1: like everybody has just kind of agreed that he not
Speaker 1: to have any responsibility. But just which is fine, Okay,
Speaker 1: Well if we look at we don't look at Richard
Speaker 1: dreyfuss In. You know, Mr Holland's opus no in close encounters.
Speaker 1: He gets called to something greater and nobody calls him
Speaker 1: a dead beat dad. He leaves his family and he
Speaker 1: he goes back to the us. I'm just going back
Speaker 1: to the mud. I've never I've never seen that movie
Speaker 1: because some of us just don't have time to sit
Speaker 1: and watch movies all there. You know. I just say,
Speaker 1: this is what all my college friends are like. They
Speaker 1: come into town and they you know, they like, we're
Speaker 1: not gonna give him any responsibility at the reunion, and
Speaker 1: you don't have to. I mean, but I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: to the reunion. We're all gonna enjoy ourselves. And how
Speaker 1: are you going to get there? I'm gonna figure it out.
Speaker 1: How are you going to get to the reunion? Get
Speaker 1: his license suspended? Richard Dry He was walking up and
Speaker 1: down the freeway with a backpack and a devil bag
Speaker 1: filled with clothes. He had every intention of making it
Speaker 1: to the reunion, but no idea how to get there.
Speaker 1: And he was three thousand five miles away. Oh oh,
Speaker 1: probably gone with that guy. I don't know how much
Speaker 1: out are you gonna get out here? Guys, it's just,
Speaker 1: you know, it's just it's just me kind of walking
Speaker 1: my path and kind of being out here. It's really, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, there's not much to this. It's just living
Speaker 1: with the inner child who I didn't listen to for
Speaker 1: a very long time. That's why I started a family.
Speaker 1: That's why I went into banking, and it didn't do
Speaker 1: well with it because you know, I wasn't Adam Adam?
Speaker 1: Is that you? Derek Schopinski? All right? What are you
Speaker 1: doing out here in the middle of nowhere? I watch
Speaker 1: I'm headed to the reunion. Man was his best friend
Speaker 1: from high school and seen him in over ten years
Speaker 1: or whenever the reunion time span between that, and they
Speaker 1: just picked up right where they left up. I haven't
Speaker 1: seen you years and class ninety nine when we graduated together.
Speaker 1: That's crazy. Have you been up to you? You were
Speaker 1: always a real go getter. I'm sure you went none
Speaker 1: to do great things. I mean, yes, yes I did.
Speaker 1: Do you end up having any kids? I had? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Ware where that? Why don't you bring him? Well? There
Speaker 1: they live with their mom. Now, I oh that they
Speaker 1: moved out to Colorado? Actually, oh yeah, and I'm here.
Speaker 1: I actually live in Venice. I'm not. I'm not too
Speaker 1: far from the hotel where they're doing the reunion. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: you must have some high power job out here, and
Speaker 1: that's why that's why your family had to move to
Speaker 1: the Colorado. Is that is that what you're doing? It's
Speaker 1: cold out here, man, Do you want to get in
Speaker 1: so warm up a little bit? Sure? You have a
Speaker 1: question for you? Yeah? Have you seen Mr Holland's Opus, No, Close, counter,
Speaker 1: close Encounters and the Third Kind? Have you seen them? Yeah?
Speaker 1: The Richard Drivers movie My Store is gonna make a
Speaker 1: lot more sense. When don't we get in there and
Speaker 1: let's get let's get to get all right, Okay, They
Speaker 1: started making their way to the high school reunion. He
Speaker 1: didn't want to tell the truth that he actually hit
Speaker 1: checked his way all the way from Colorado, all the
Speaker 1: way back to Venett's, California, where he had all started,
Speaker 1: and he's tried to explain the concept or at the
Speaker 1: story of those encounters? Are the third kind? Too? His
Speaker 1: best friend, but kept thinking it was what about Bob
Speaker 1: so the aliens? I don't I don't get when when
Speaker 1: did the alien and starts psychoanalyzing Bill Murray? No, No,
Speaker 1: billmers out in this one. It's um, it's a Richard Dreyfless.
Speaker 1: It's a yeah, it's a Steven Spielberg movie. I don't
Speaker 1: think Spielberg did. What about bomb? I gotta tell you
Speaker 1: just between the kids and between work, I just haven't
Speaker 1: had much time to watch many movies. Oh man is
Speaker 1: At that moment, he realized he also didn't have any
Speaker 1: place to stay. His plan when he arrived to the
Speaker 1: Union was to kind of camp out near the beach.
Speaker 1: But now that he ran into his best friend, he
Speaker 1: figured you'd ask him for a place to cratch. All right, guys,
Speaker 1: it's good to see Aliah. I'm gonna I'm gonna head
Speaker 1: home to the fam. Alright, Hey, Adam, you keep in touch. Alright,
Speaker 1: uh quick? Yeah, yeah, what's up? You know you're talking
Speaker 1: about talking about that garage out back that you're you
Speaker 1: guys are gonna turn into an airbnb, Like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean do you need to help about that? I'm
Speaker 1: good with the hammer. I mean, would it be art if?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Uh, we got so much disposable income
Speaker 1: that we we we just hired people to do that stuff.
Speaker 1: But but hey, anytime you want to pay the a
Speaker 1: night to h to stay in it, you're you're welcome
Speaker 1: to come come hang out. Man, it was really good
Speaker 1: to see. I'm gonna, I'm gonna head out now, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna go. Um, why Why are you standing
Speaker 1: between me and the door man with there's something something
Speaker 1: you need? You're pressing kind of hard on my chest? Man?
Speaker 1: What what? What he are you trying to? Hey, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: are you trying to seduce me for some sort of
Speaker 1: a monetary favor? That's currency on the streets. Adam, Are
Speaker 1: you sure everything's going okay with you? I got that's
Speaker 1: my tongue. Yeah, and that's my that's my tongue. Stop? Stop, Adam?
Speaker 1: What's going on with you? Many now talk to me.
Speaker 1: Adam had no choice, but let's bill the beans. In
Speaker 1: this particular case, he actually had a bag of beans
Speaker 1: in his pocket that build out when he sat down.
Speaker 1: But then he did confess about what was going on
Speaker 1: in his life, about how he lost his kids and
Speaker 1: how he was kind of living in the streets in
Speaker 1: a way. And yeah, it's not great. And I I
Speaker 1: kind of wake up most days thinking, like Megan, like
Speaker 1: have I made the redding, you know, decision? And and
Speaker 1: and like I have screwed up so much? But but
Speaker 1: but maybe it's good. Maybe it's good to listen to
Speaker 1: your inner child and try to trust it. But but
Speaker 1: I I don't live anywhere and I trade low for favors,
Speaker 1: and uh, Derek, I'm just kind of in a way.
Speaker 1: I'm just kind of in a way. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: I guess if you want, you can you can come
Speaker 1: stay in the I mean the airbnb isn't isn't finished yet,
Speaker 1: but you can come hang out tonight until you get
Speaker 1: on your feet. But I mean we gotta hurry though,
Speaker 1: before this bean stains sets in pants. He took him
Speaker 1: up on his offer and moved into the house, started
Speaker 1: rebuilding the out house and or whatever back house it
Speaker 1: was into an Airbnb, and he started making his own
Speaker 1: banana pancakes for himself. But the banana pancakes started catching on.
Speaker 1: Everybody wanted to bite. Good morning, Honey, good morning, Good morning, Adam,
Speaker 1: good morning. So what's your breakfast pancakes? Adam was just leaving. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just wanted to say thank you. I I got
Speaker 1: the lease for a little venice. Oh, I got it
Speaker 1: something at the Dorosey Dorothy. Hi. We saw that you
Speaker 1: guys have this place up for rent on on Airbnb.
Speaker 1: We just decided we wanted to forego that, maybe avoid
Speaker 1: some of the fees. I heard you guys have some
Speaker 1: banana pancakes that come with the room. Yes, our house guests,
Speaker 1: he makes them, don't you. We would like to book
Speaker 1: for a week. Is that possible, Well, it's already booked
Speaker 1: because Adam staying here. But you know what, honey, what
Speaker 1: you head out and make make some extra room for
Speaker 1: these guests here? Not leaving my own house. Well, I
Speaker 1: gotta make these pancakes. So I got a brook and
Speaker 1: mortar for these pancakes opening up in Venice. I got
Speaker 1: this place. I mean, things are looking pretty good for me.
Speaker 1: Now Adam makes pancakes. What do you bring to the table? Honey? Wait? Wait?
Speaker 1: Why why don't have to leave my own house? Adam?
Speaker 1: You come in here, breathe into town, you make my
Speaker 1: family pancakes, and now I have to leave my own house.
Speaker 1: My kids are gonna be here. I have figured everything
Speaker 1: out and they'll be here in a little bit. And
Speaker 1: I don't want that kind of kidding a tune in
Speaker 1: my house? Dad? What's going on? Bryce? This is your
Speaker 1: new home. What are you surprise about? Bro? You don't
Speaker 1: know his kid was fucking twenty one years old. It's up.
Speaker 1: I should have never stopped to pick you up at him.
Speaker 1: My whole life isn't shambles now because of you. Adam.
Speaker 1: There there, Rice, don't cry, I'm not crying. You've upset
Speaker 1: my boy. I'm just happy for you. Dad. You found
Speaker 1: a new place, a new home, this is my place,
Speaker 1: and a new wife and a new house. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: meet your new wife. Yeah, this is Cassie. This is Cassie.
Speaker 1: You mean your wife in a few weeks maybe, dude, Yeah,
Speaker 1: great job. Totally forgive me for abandoning us. I asked
Speaker 1: you to wait until after he left to write the
Speaker 1: news to him we're gonna marry, But I get excited.
Speaker 1: I get Oh. Look, I'm just following my bliss right now.
Speaker 1: You know, goddamn had'm beant taking over his whole life,
Speaker 1: his wife, his kids, even his job that he had,
Speaker 1: and then he quit the job for him and then
Speaker 1: went into banana pancakes full time. Boss. Don't worry that
Speaker 1: these reports are gonna be You're fine anyway. Why why
Speaker 1: didn't you say you quit and and you send me
Speaker 1: an email to say go forth myself? No, I would
Speaker 1: never do that. Yeah you did. You're at it, kid.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, I smell banana pancakes. Yeah, so what
Speaker 1: I like pancakes and sometimes of the banana variety. Boss,
Speaker 1: you gotta listen. There's not much time. I didn't send
Speaker 1: you that email. I did not quit. Oh yeah, there's
Speaker 1: this guy at him. I went to school with him.
Speaker 1: Oh come on, he took my family, he took my wife,
Speaker 1: he took my airbnb, he took my house. The airbnb
Speaker 1: is part of the house. Now he's taking this job
Speaker 1: for me. How's he taking the job if he got
Speaker 1: your fire? Dumb ship? Did out of here? Adam? Come
Speaker 1: out here? Adam break Rome. He's not here. I don't
Speaker 1: even know what the funk you're talking. I can smell
Speaker 1: the banana pancakes. Look what I gotta got a pancake.
Speaker 1: Gotta listen, pancake Adam. I hdmatized everybody in Derek's life,
Speaker 1: his boss, his friends, his wife, his kids who we
Speaker 1: actually haven't even met yet. But it doesn't matter. Adam
Speaker 1: has everything or took it anything from Derek. What do
Speaker 1: they stay friends? Who knows? Coming up? Back to the
Speaker 1: first word from our esteemed sponsors, stay with us. Back
Speaker 1: to the interview. Get to know our guest for this episode,
Speaker 1: Scott Palmerson, So how long have you been listening to
Speaker 1: the show I've been listening to it for a week.
Speaker 1: Oh nice, big fan, so a long time listener. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh, tell us what you do what? I'm an
Speaker 1: actor and I'm a singer. Nice. And then I do
Speaker 1: other stuff to kind of like I'll pay the bills
Speaker 1: while I being an actor and not stuff. And then
Speaker 1: uh friends with Andy uh and we uh who did
Speaker 1: And he was like, you want to come do this stuff?
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, it sounds great and he
Speaker 1: was like, since I've been such a long time listener
Speaker 1: and it's such a I'm such a big fan, and yes,
Speaker 1: I want to be a part of it. I was
Speaker 1: a fan of friend, now much more a part. Are
Speaker 1: you a big fan of musicals? Yes? I got really
Speaker 1: into musicals. What's your favorite one? Probably a Little Shop
Speaker 1: of Horse. Have you ever thought about maybe turning your
Speaker 1: own life into musical? I'm actually writing it right now.
Speaker 1: It's a Little Shop of Horrors, the one um where
Speaker 1: Rick Moranus turns his kids into tiny, tiny people they
Speaker 1: turn in where they shrink tiny and then then and
Speaker 1: then he has to find them because he's trying. And
Speaker 1: then there's a sequel right where he has a friend
Speaker 1: and they're a Canadian they drink out a beer. L
Speaker 1: A story, yes, is no l A story is the
Speaker 1: one where the man has two brains. No, that's wrong,
Speaker 1: It's called animaniac. That's true. Um, you know the one
Speaker 1: you're referencing is that he it's like a Sereno di
Speaker 1: Bergiac whatever you ever pronounced that. It's like that. That's Ghostbusters.
Speaker 1: You're right, I'm sorry. It is Ghostbusters, the new one
Speaker 1: that came out yea with Brian Doyle Murray. Yes. Do
Speaker 1: you remember the first time that you decided you wanted
Speaker 1: to be? What was the first Do you want to
Speaker 1: be an actor? Do you want to be singer? What
Speaker 1: was the first thing you even wanted to be? And
Speaker 1: if it was something else, you can go and tell us, like,
Speaker 1: what was the very first thing you wanted to be
Speaker 1: growing up? Probably singer? My grandfather was a kind of
Speaker 1: I sent my professional opera singer saying with my dad
Speaker 1: and so both of them. I mean, every I grew
Speaker 1: up seeing my dad new shows every Christmas would be
Speaker 1: like my grandfather would sing, my mom would play piano,
Speaker 1: my dad would sing, and then my sister ended up singing.
Speaker 1: But everyone in my family is like a high quality musician.
Speaker 1: Or high level and did amazing things. So I was
Speaker 1: singing first, but then I would just go to my
Speaker 1: dad's shows over and over, and he was in like,
Speaker 1: was it expected for you to have the pipes or
Speaker 1: did you discover that you had them later on in life?
Speaker 1: Kind of a bit of both. I love to draw,
Speaker 1: and so I drew as a kid, like I learned.
Speaker 1: I would study the like the covers of Disney VHS
Speaker 1: and I would study the Simpsons and study the Ninja
Speaker 1: journals in Garfield and everybody and I would learn how
Speaker 1: to draw those things. And that was kind of like
Speaker 1: I'm the drawer while everyone else just like singing. And
Speaker 1: then at my eighth grade moving up ceremony, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just sing imagine. I just knew I'll sing imagine,
Speaker 1: And everyone in my class was like what. And I,
Speaker 1: as a kid, you know, he was like, Oh, this
Speaker 1: attension is good. And I knew that I kind of
Speaker 1: wanted this thing, kind of wanted to discover it. So
Speaker 1: at that point it was a little bit of huberty
Speaker 1: and a little bit of I think I like this,
Speaker 1: even though it was kind of being a little defiant,
Speaker 1: little younger. Did your voice crack in the middle of
Speaker 1: the song. Did you going to puberty? No? I never did.
Speaker 1: I remember my voice getting deeper like when I became
Speaker 1: a man. You know, we actually have some clips of
Speaker 1: your childhood in a family full of opera singers in
Speaker 1: our archives. Have you cleaned your room? Why cleaned this morning? Fall?
Speaker 1: Don't talk back to me. I was not talking you.
Speaker 1: I was Scott. Yes, all you have a phone call
Speaker 1: from a girl. She wants to talk to you. She
Speaker 1: is on the phone. She's just a friend. So just
Speaker 1: just a friend. Fall. It was my name Cold. Hello.
Speaker 1: Are you upset the fact that the girls and more
Speaker 1: interested in your brother who didn't exist? Jesus Christ, I
Speaker 1: mean a little bit. When I started to sing, it
Speaker 1: was a point in my life when I would have
Speaker 1: done anything to like get the attention of like the
Speaker 1: opposite sex. Did it work, by the way, did what work?
Speaker 1: It's singing? Definitely? Once I knew that, like because for
Speaker 1: me as a kid, one way that I kind of
Speaker 1: like flipped bullying was I'll draw something for you, right, yeah, Hey,
Speaker 1: you the bully. What do you want do you want
Speaker 1: to like Simpson? Do you want this? What do you want? Like?
Speaker 1: And I'll draw it and I that's kind of how
Speaker 1: I negotiated with kind of that as a kid, so
Speaker 1: like he eventually turned it into singing like don't beat
Speaker 1: me up, ling and singing for you. I think I
Speaker 1: think that I realized if I was good at stuff,
Speaker 1: that that could be a protective thing. And I think
Speaker 1: that's something I discovered later. We actually have some of
Speaker 1: that in the archives. Fun this. Yeah, where's your fucking money? Dude?
Speaker 1: It's right here? It is is the monopoly on a skateboard?
Speaker 1: Like at that. We're not fall for that this time, dude. No, man,
Speaker 1: it looks pretty Chris, pretty badass. We talked about this
Speaker 1: Christ and said that we're gonna get money this time.
Speaker 1: People are fucking bullying. Yeah yeah, where's that? More money? Okay? Alright, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: no more games, no more games, no more talents. We
Speaker 1: just wanted money, dude, alright, tired of the drawings? Do
Speaker 1: you want either of you to be cut in half?
Speaker 1: Because I've also been practicing magic. I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: getting cut in half? How about you, Dicky, Dicky? You
Speaker 1: I'll cut dicken Hams. I don't know, you know, like magic? Dude? Alright,
Speaker 1: sure we got off fine, here we go. Alright, get
Speaker 1: into this cardboard box. Okay, I'm in and look this,
Speaker 1: look this this, and now he's into to look that.
Speaker 1: He's in two and now he's back together. He's fine,
Speaker 1: he's fine. He's one body. But he was separated. You
Speaker 1: know what, that was pretty great? You know, just just
Speaker 1: get this half the money, then half to half the
Speaker 1: money we agreed about. Get your hand off my how
Speaker 1: my shirt does my Ninja turtles? Last thing? You guys
Speaker 1: look like you love a good impression. Well yeah, what
Speaker 1: if I would tell you guys have been working on
Speaker 1: a Jack Nicholson impression and that'll be as good as money,
Speaker 1: and it'll make your bellies life? Would you guys like that?
Speaker 1: Who's that? I'd be willing to knock a few points
Speaker 1: off the principle if you if you can knockout all right,
Speaker 1: didn't go for it? I really okay with that? Alright?
Speaker 1: Can My mom's gonna be here any second? Okay, he's
Speaker 1: picking me up. I mean I gotta go. Okay, here
Speaker 1: we go. You call that mom. There you go, that's
Speaker 1: my Jack Nicholson. Pretty good? Pretty good? I mean you
Speaker 1: get to still want my money? Any bullys in tonight
Speaker 1: any bullis I'm a bully, alright? Uh knock knock, Yeah,
Speaker 1: who's used there? Let me do it, dude, who's there?
Speaker 1: Jack Nichols? Call back? Salad call back? Okay, good, Okay,
Speaker 1: give us one tenth of the money that we agree
Speaker 1: ever the year, alright, one tenth of them unless you
Speaker 1: do a really good John c Riley. Who the fund
Speaker 1: is that? Dude? I don't know who the funk that
Speaker 1: isn't he didn't do it? Anyways? You want me to
Speaker 1: go forward like, you know, like thirty years and uh
Speaker 1: like into like a you know, like into Sermonox California
Speaker 1: and I can do it. Yeah, do you want to
Speaker 1: do that? Okay? Okay, okay, count with me? Three one? Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I did a John c Riley impression for John
Speaker 1: c Rale than you did about it. I had a
Speaker 1: friend and I'll play with him and I went and
Speaker 1: chatted with him and I just said, I just want
Speaker 1: to really want to do this, and I just was bald.
Speaker 1: I was like, because I'm right here. My my voice
Speaker 1: is a little deeper, but I do I do have
Speaker 1: a bit of that Ray Romano kind of the way
Speaker 1: Jim Henson would talk. And Jim Henson was in interviews
Speaker 1: and you know, uh so, but the closest for me
Speaker 1: is John c Riley. So I'm right here, I have
Speaker 1: a pretty harsh American accident back my throat, and then
Speaker 1: John c Riley's right up here. He's just right there.
Speaker 1: And then if I slow down, you know, but I
Speaker 1: really have to slow down, I goes just you know
Speaker 1: this it's a weird thing, you know, and it's so
Speaker 1: it's right, it's really close, and it's a I think
Speaker 1: it's the closest to my act work. So it happened
Speaker 1: when you did the impression of John c Riley for
Speaker 1: John c Riley. He was very nice about it. He goes,
Speaker 1: he was like, I don't know what ione thinks that
Speaker 1: sounding like that. I don't sounding like that, and he
Speaker 1: was kind of like he humored me. He was very
Speaker 1: sweet about it. And then we all went to the
Speaker 1: bar and like he was just a gentleman. He's really nice.
Speaker 1: You know. I think we have a voice matching auditions
Speaker 1: for John c Riley and our archives. Alright, John c
Speaker 1: Riley voice matching auditions first stop Ray Romano. I'm gonna record,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna record, all right, John c Riley voice matching auditions.
Speaker 1: Kermit the Frog is Crimit the frog here. Uh, we
Speaker 1: just wait for the green light and then we're going
Speaker 1: to cool. Yes, it's on go. I'm gonna recket caught
Speaker 1: John c Riley voice matching audition, Scott Palmerson, I'm gonna record.
Speaker 1: Holy sh it, that guy sounds just like John c Riley.
Speaker 1: If only my producer can do an oppression of somebody
Speaker 1: who can move a scene forward. Thank you for being
Speaker 1: part of the show, Scott. Hope you having a good time.
Speaker 1: This is great coming up at three. First, a word
Speaker 1: from our sponsors who make this high quality program possible.
Speaker 1: Stay with us. At three. The growth old man sat
Speaker 1: in the back of the bait shop, grumbling to himself
Speaker 1: as he scooped out a handful of worms. He had
Speaker 1: been running the bait shop for many years in this
Speaker 1: small town, but he started noticing that you, or and
Speaker 1: fewer teenagers who were coming to visit his bait shop
Speaker 1: at this lake. He wondered, why one day I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get shop one s the world. He keeps saying that,
Speaker 1: here we are. He keeps saying it, well, for this
Speaker 1: list serves the year I'm going this year? Why do
Speaker 1: you think you've had a hard time, you know, following
Speaker 1: through with your plans? Well, because I mean be a
Speaker 1: busy part of fishing season. I risking him trapped here,
Speaker 1: starts out to say, you know, I've got these big
Speaker 1: plans and then just get some busy. They keep saying
Speaker 1: that he's always busy. Seems like there's you and fewer
Speaker 1: teenagers showing up to the lake as opposed before when
Speaker 1: that was pretty much you only clientele. So why do
Speaker 1: you think you're still so busy? Maybe we are just
Speaker 1: don't want to go. I'm just afraid it's settled in.
Speaker 1: Maybe are just no deep down there was nothing out
Speaker 1: there for me, and I've got her if arms. My
Speaker 1: buddy Devin here names there should be a lot of
Speaker 1: teenagers here, but there's not. Some teenager. I chuck full.
Speaker 1: The teenager showed up. Oh man, what you get it here?
Speaker 1: We got worms? Welcome in a long time. You got worms,
Speaker 1: bro fruit what fishing? Fishing? Tell me more? Definitely breaks
Speaker 1: up your collar. Come on, look, look, look alive. We
Speaker 1: got teenager from here finally, and my tickers are going
Speaker 1: the mom my hair. Look, my hand is shaking you too,
Speaker 1: weirdest you link, you weirdo. What is fishing definite possible?
Speaker 1: Look to these people don't know what fishing is. Have
Speaker 1: to get on our fishing teaching. Perhaps put them on
Speaker 1: a kid about fresh kids were being very disrespectful. Clearly
Speaker 1: they went there to go fishing, but just to peruse
Speaker 1: the lake. Be consumers of what nobody knew. The first
Speaker 1: thing you can learn about fishing. Oh no, damn, let's
Speaker 1: go from the town. Alright, alright, everyone from the town fish.
Speaker 1: You should the worm border next one, dude, you due, Devin,
Speaker 1: You did the hook and you throw it in the
Speaker 1: ocean and you say, oh, I want to get a fish.
Speaker 1: I want to get a fish from fish. Now all
Speaker 1: the kids say, I want to fish. I want to fish.
Speaker 1: I want to fish water fish. You want to fish?
Speaker 1: Wish fresh straight fish. That's actually I'm sorry, any questions, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's fishing? What do we love it? Top? Okay, the
Speaker 1: kid's never going to just do the concept. So they
Speaker 1: just decided to produce the lake like they usually did, drinking,
Speaker 1: making loud, obnoxious noises, getting naked, jumping in the lake,
Speaker 1: basically doing what teenagers do. Love. That's my favorite noise,
Speaker 1: make cube. But I just can't get that song out
Speaker 1: of my head, you know, the one the guys were singing,
Speaker 1: we should they firshould take They split in. I don't
Speaker 1: want to fish. I want to fish. You want you know? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like I mean, you know what it is. It's crush.
Speaker 1: These natty lights have made out with Becky and I
Speaker 1: just go I just want to fish, I know, I said,
Speaker 1: and at the head of the canoe and masturbated, are
Speaker 1: you serious? And I didn't even get the song out
Speaker 1: of my head. I think I was there, commune, come
Speaker 1: on you come on me onto the dock. Come on here,
Speaker 1: I help you onto the dock. Let's come over you
Speaker 1: if you go ahead, all right, walk with me. They
Speaker 1: realized they were being followed by who they didn't know
Speaker 1: they could just heal it. Did you hear that? You? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What what if we're those guys? What if like we're then?
Speaker 1: What if we grow up to beat them? Or what
Speaker 1: if we are them? Now? What if we are there?
Speaker 1: What if we are they? What if we are they?
Speaker 1: What if we are they? What if maybe you know,
Speaker 1: what if we are you know? What if we are
Speaker 1: that that? What if we are that? I think it's
Speaker 1: that I don't know, it's just the higher pitch one
Speaker 1: like the one who was like a little more frail.
Speaker 1: Who who? He looks alone like you, don't you think?
Speaker 1: And yeah, and the other one looks like I don't know,
Speaker 1: looks like my dad. It looks like me. He looks
Speaker 1: like my uncle. I just would have in a way.
Speaker 1: We're all kind of whales old men at the bait shot.
Speaker 1: What is that noise? There's someone following us that blog.
Speaker 1: They walked up to a wall of photos next to
Speaker 1: the cabin. They started noticing all the old men were
Speaker 1: different versions of them. All the photos look like different
Speaker 1: versions of them, banning from the eighteen hundreds to present.
Speaker 1: Ro Look at this guy, wo whoa, this guy looks
Speaker 1: just just like you. And this guy looks just like you.
Speaker 1: And this guy looks just like me. Look at that yeah,
Speaker 1: that one right there, and this guy looks just like
Speaker 1: looks just like Adam Madam school, Yeah, the one who
Speaker 1: would to be a banker, right And I heard I
Speaker 1: think he went on to be a banker. I thought he.
Speaker 1: I think that he went on to be Why they
Speaker 1: knew it. They were both kids hating into another cabin
Speaker 1: stat down in two chairs, didn't know what was going on?
Speaker 1: Tell you what we're gonna do to your kids? In
Speaker 1: song him all right, then we're pulling her on her
Speaker 1: fish and then we slashed the year and we're hearing
Speaker 1: the driven the nut and then I'll go to question
Speaker 1: myself because am hurting me in the younger phone in
Speaker 1: the time continuum me, violence is down. We maybe maybe
Speaker 1: we don't guilt. He's to a young man because that
Speaker 1: technically because there and if you stab me here you'll
Speaker 1: canceling out. I mean, this is how you two are, right,
Speaker 1: you work things out in the moment. It's us whoa
Speaker 1: well the right. So then they have to let us
Speaker 1: go because if they don't let us go. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like that movie with with Bruce Willis, Joseph Joseph Gordon Levitt.
Speaker 1: Remember yeah, no, no, no, no, Romancings don't know. That's
Speaker 1: the one that has Michael Douglas. Remember might to host
Speaker 1: the Michael host Show to talk. You had to change
Speaker 1: it to Michael Keaton because Michael Douglas has already taken
Speaker 1: No Michael Keaton. You're thinking of the girl who played
Speaker 1: Annie Hall. Michael Keaton was Annie Hall. Now that is
Speaker 1: as good as it gets. Technicals with the Jack Nicholson.
Speaker 1: No that hed Keanu Reeves as a doctor. I'll be
Speaker 1: honest days Jack who the dug is, the producer Andy
Speaker 1: and her special contributor Scott Allomason. I'm your host, sorry
Speaker 1: and this was This is Americans Live and this next time.
Speaker 1: This is Americans Live can be found wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts. Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review. You
Speaker 1: can also find This is Americans Live on Instagram at
Speaker 1: this is Americans Live and on Twitter at Americans Live