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Speaker 1: When you travel to a new city, some people plan

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Speaker 1: activities by looking up reviews on apps like trip Advisor

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Speaker 1: or Yelp. But now there's something better and more truthful,

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Speaker 1: because you can't really trust reviews nowadays, So instead we're

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Speaker 1: offering the overly honest hotel concierge at your service, And

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Speaker 1: today we're trying to help a guy who's already emailed

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Speaker 1: the hotel asking for recommendations during his stay, and he's

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Speaker 1: about to get the cold, hard truth whether he wants

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Speaker 1: it or not. In your phone tap right now. Hello,

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Speaker 1: good morning, sir. This is Jack calling from the hotel,

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Speaker 1: just to double check. This is Chris.

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Speaker 2: Yes, this is Chris.

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Speaker 3: Great.

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Speaker 1: It says that you'll be in town for forty eight

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Speaker 1: hours on a business trip.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna have a lot of free time, and

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Speaker 2: I wanted to see the city, so that's why he

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Speaker 2: emails you.

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Speaker 1: Got you absolutely Well, that's what we're here to do,

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Speaker 1: so let's make this trip fantastic for you.

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Speaker 2: Sound was great.

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Speaker 3: Perfect.

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Speaker 1: So in your email you asked if the city was

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Speaker 1: safe at night.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I did. I like walking exploring right.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well, first of all, I can tell you the

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Speaker 1: city is absolutely safe.

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Speaker 2: Very good.

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Speaker 1: But I would suggest that if you want to venture

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Speaker 1: out of the hotel past five pm, you can borrow

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Speaker 1: a weapon.

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Speaker 3: From the front desk. Wait. In fact, I would probably

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Speaker 3: recommend that to you.

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Speaker 1: We have knives, mace, we even have one flare gun,

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Speaker 1: and if you take at least one of those items,

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Speaker 1: you should be good.

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Speaker 2: I never heard of a hotel offering weapons to borrow.

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Speaker 1: I know that's what sets us apart in the hospitality field.

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Speaker 3: Wait what anyway?

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Speaker 1: I see you also emailed us about restaurants, and I

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Speaker 1: wanted to tell you about a really nice Italian place nearby.

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Speaker 2: Oh great, I love Italian.

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Speaker 1: Food, excellent, So I will say the portions are small,

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Speaker 1: service is slow, but at least it exists.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but is that really your recommendation?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Also, the pasta tends to be overcooked and the sauce

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Speaker 1: taste like they forgot to add anything.

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Speaker 3: If I'm just being completely honest.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate you being very honest. Yes, suh, I'm I'm

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Speaker 2: love for words. I don't quite know what to say right.

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Speaker 1: Well, sir, Sometimes the best advice isn't telling you what

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Speaker 1: you want to hear, but what you need to hear.

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Speaker 3: And that's what I'm here for.

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Speaker 1: And as for the public transport, I will let you

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Speaker 1: know the subway here is reliable. You'll share a car

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Speaker 1: with people who cough like they're auditioning for a horror movie.

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Speaker 2: Though that sounds terrible. That does not sound good at all.

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Speaker 1: Okay, are you sure? Because some visitors find that kind

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Speaker 1: of exciting. You're with people who look like they're from

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Speaker 1: the Walking Dead, but they're actually real.

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Speaker 2: They're being completely honest. Like all these things you're telling

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Speaker 2: me right now, it makes me think I don't even

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Speaker 2: want to stay at your hotel.

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Speaker 1: Oh but I haven't even gotten to our sight seeing

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Speaker 1: recommendations for you, because there's an observation deck in a

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Speaker 1: building right across from us, and you'll look out over

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Speaker 1: the city and realize everyone is just pretending to be happy.

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Speaker 3: Including you.

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Speaker 2: I'm not pretending I am happy.

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Speaker 1: Well you won't be after staying with us in our

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Speaker 1: fine city or not so fine city. I'm just being honest, sir.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're making me bummed out. I'm kind of depressed

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Speaker 2: right now.

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Speaker 1: Well, sir, I know the truth may not sound glamorous,

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Speaker 1: but it does make for a more memorable stay when

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Speaker 1: you're with us.

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Speaker 2: My goal is not to carry weapons in a city

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Speaker 2: that I'm not familiar with.

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Speaker 1: Well, you won't need a weapon if you do one

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Speaker 1: of our local tours. Hopefully there's a historic walking tour

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Speaker 1: I can recommend for you.

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Speaker 3: You'll see a lot of old.

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Speaker 1: Buildings and you'll feel your own life crumbling in real time.

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Speaker 1: What you just like the buildings, the way you're painting.

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Speaker 2: This is like one of the most depressing cities I've

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Speaker 2: ever stay at. Sir.

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Speaker 1: I noticed it's just you on your reservation, but you

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Speaker 1: do have two queen beds. How about I just stay

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Speaker 1: with you for a few nights.

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Speaker 2: No, you're not staying in my room.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean it sounds like you're gonna be around

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Speaker 1: town doing things. It's not like we'll be together most

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Speaker 1: of the time. I could just order room service watch TV.

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Speaker 2: This has got to be one of the most absurd

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Speaker 2: conversations I've had in my lifetime.

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Speaker 1: Sir, you are absolutely right on that thought. And it

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Speaker 1: all started when your girlfriend Carleen contacted us to do

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Speaker 1: this prank on you. How do you know Carleen because

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Speaker 1: she emailed our radio show. Because my real name is

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Speaker 1: Jeff from brook and Jeffrey in the Morning, Carleen set

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Speaker 1: you up for a phone tab. Dude, Yeah, obviously don't

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Speaker 1: work at the hotel.

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Speaker 2: But obviously you don't.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Carleen said she was giving you a bad time

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Speaker 1: about emailing them a huge list of questions for the concierge.

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Speaker 3: She thought it was so dumb that she wanted us

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Speaker 3: to mess with you.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you're killing me.

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Speaker 1: Well I may not be, but the people that live

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Speaker 1: in this city might you know the walking dead?

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Speaker 3: So definitely take a weapon with you.

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Speaker 2: I'm so glad you told me it was a joke.

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Speaker 2: I almost canceled my.

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Speaker 3: But no joke. I really could use staying in that

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Speaker 3: queen bed with you if that's cool.

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Speaker 2: You are so stupid.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm honest.

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Speaker 2: Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning