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Speaker 1: Pushkin surveys show that this year's top New Year's resolution,

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Speaker 1: the thing that more than fifty percent of folks who

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Speaker 1: made January resolutions have committed to getting more of in

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty three is exercise, which, from the perspective of

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Speaker 1: a happiness professor like me, should be a good thing,

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Speaker 1: because there's lots and lots of scientific evidence that working

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Speaker 1: out regularly can significantly improve our self reported happiness. But

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Speaker 1: the research shows that our bodies aren't the only things

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Speaker 1: that could use a good workout this year. In fact,

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Speaker 1: our guest today argues that we might want to swap

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Speaker 1: at least some of those New Year's bench presses and

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Speaker 1: leg curls for a different kind of training, one that

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Speaker 1: focuses on toughening something that we often forget can have

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Speaker 1: a big effect on our stress levels, our performance, and

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Speaker 1: our happiness. We'll see today that if we really want

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Speaker 1: to feel better in twenty twenty three, we probably need

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Speaker 1: to devote at least a few of our workouts to

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Speaker 1: improving our inner self talk. So get ready to sweat

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Speaker 1: out your inner critic and strengthen those self compassion muscles,

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Speaker 1: because the happiness lab is about to hit the Gym

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Speaker 1: for our first ever New Year, New Yu Self Talk Workout.

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Speaker 1: Our minds are constantly telling us what to do to

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Speaker 1: be happy. But what if our minds are wrong? What

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Speaker 1: if our minds are lying to us, leading us away

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Speaker 1: from what we'll really make us happy. The good news

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Speaker 1: is that understanding the science of the mind can point

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Speaker 1: us all back in the right direction. You're listening to

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Speaker 1: the Happiness Lab with doctor Laurie Santos. A lot of

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Speaker 1: people live in that space of putting themselves down all

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Speaker 1: the time, and it's a pretty powerful habit. So it's

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Speaker 1: one we've built up over years and decades, and it

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Speaker 1: can seem a little bit daunting to change it. This

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Speaker 1: is psychologist and Seattle Universe City professor Rachel Ture. But

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Speaker 1: if you've ever tried a new workout, you know that

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Speaker 1: the first few times are kind of weird sometimes sometimes

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Speaker 1: a little bit uncomfortable. But after you do it, the

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Speaker 1: more and more you do it, it becomes more natural,

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Speaker 1: and the same is true for how you treat yourself.

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Speaker 1: Rachel is the author of a recent book called The

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Speaker 1: Self Talk Workout. Six science back to strategies to dissolve

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Speaker 1: self criticism and transform the voice in your head. As

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Speaker 1: you might guess from the title, Rachel thinks we should

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Speaker 1: all be doing training drills not just for our biceps

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Speaker 1: in our thighs, but also to tone up those harsh

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Speaker 1: voices inside our heads, so that instead of being mean

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Speaker 1: to ourselves, we're more encouraging, more supportive, and kinder. The

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Speaker 1: idea is to build up these resources, these capacities, so

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Speaker 1: that they are ready to go when you need them,

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Speaker 1: and so that you're stronger in general. But before jumping

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Speaker 1: head first into our new inner voice workout plan, I

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Speaker 1: wanted Rachel to start by explaining a bit more about

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Speaker 1: what she means by self talk and how we sometimes

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Speaker 1: get a little nast with our inner voices. I consider

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Speaker 1: self talk to be the way that you relate to

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Speaker 1: yourself in your mind. It could be with words. Some

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Speaker 1: people really talk to themselves in words like Okay, I

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Speaker 1: should do this, why did you do that? I should

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Speaker 1: really be better at this. But it might not be

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Speaker 1: in words. It might be just as a sort of

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Speaker 1: or sometimes it's hard to catch. But a lot of

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Speaker 1: folks know that, Okay, I'm not treating myself that nicely.

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Speaker 1: I feel a lot of times that I should be

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Speaker 1: different I should be better, I'm not enough, I'm not

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Speaker 1: doing enough, I'm not good enough, And those are the

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Speaker 1: sort of tapes that get repeated for most of us.

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Speaker 1: Negative self talk is something that's so common, like, so

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Speaker 1: many of us do it all the time. Why if

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Speaker 1: it's so bad for us, why are we doing it

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Speaker 1: all the time. And one of the things you talked

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Speaker 1: about is the idea of a negativity bias. So what's

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Speaker 1: the negativity bias and how does it contribute to this

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Speaker 1: kind of mistaken idea we have about our own self talk.

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Speaker 1: So the negativity bias is the brain's tendency to pay

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Speaker 1: more attention to the stuff that isn't going well. And

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Speaker 1: you can imagine how that might be evolutionarily advantageous because

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Speaker 1: it helps you survive if you notice the threats around

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Speaker 1: you and in your environment. The problem is kind of

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Speaker 1: too good at it. We also live in a pretty

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Speaker 1: competitive culture where most of us are conditioned to evaluate

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Speaker 1: how good we are, how good we look, how much

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Speaker 1: we've done, and even to pit that against other people

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Speaker 1: we see and how beautiful they are and how much

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Speaker 1: they have accomplished. And that's kind of a drag to

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Speaker 1: be in that culture. Another reason you've talked about why

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Speaker 1: we're so bad at this is just it becomes a habit, right,

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Speaker 1: It's just like a thing that we're used to doing,

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Speaker 1: you know, talk about why just doing this a lot,

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Speaker 1: talking to ourselves in ways that aren't very positive a

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Speaker 1: lot can just become a self perpetuating cycle. Right. It's

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Speaker 1: amazing what brains do. I mean, brains learn from experience,

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Speaker 1: and that's usually a really great thing. We're glad to

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Speaker 1: have these brains that learn. But once brains learn, it's

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Speaker 1: a little bit harder to unlearn. Just like you know,

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Speaker 1: you probably put on your pants the same leg at

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Speaker 1: a time, and that's fine, but other habits are really challenging.

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Speaker 1: And you know, self criticism, I'm kind of thinking of

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Speaker 1: it these days, is the smoking of mental health that

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Speaker 1: it's not so much okay, how did you start smoking?

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Speaker 1: Who gave you your first cigarette? Of course those things

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Speaker 1: are bad, But like smoking, self criticism, once it gets going,

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Speaker 1: it sort of takes on a life of its own.

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Speaker 1: Once the pathways are established, they are vulnerable to this

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Speaker 1: automatic activation. So we're very efficient. We automatically go to

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Speaker 1: these mental places that we're used to going to. There's

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Speaker 1: sort of like our mental homes. I think a final

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Speaker 1: reason that a lot of us are so self critical,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I know this is definitely true for me,

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Speaker 1: is that we kind of have the sense that it works.

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Speaker 1: We kind of have this theory that if we just

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Speaker 1: scream it ourselves and really belittle ourselves, then that will

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Speaker 1: actually get us motivated to change. Is this the correct intuition?

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Speaker 1: Is the kind of thing you see a lot Well,

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Speaker 1: I completely agree with you that people believe. That people

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Speaker 1: think that their self criticism keeps sharp and motivated and accountable,

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Speaker 1: and that maybe without it we would just sit on

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Speaker 1: the couch all day and eat bond bonds. We wouldn't

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Speaker 1: do anything. And the research shows that self criticism is

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Speaker 1: strongly associated with depression, stress, and anxiety. So even if

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Speaker 1: it did motivate us, I don't think it would be

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Speaker 1: worth it. But it's actually not associated with motivation. So

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Speaker 1: people are more motivated to improve themselves if they practice

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Speaker 1: self compassion, that is, being kind and encouraging towards yourself.

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Speaker 1: And you can kind of see how that works. You know,

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Speaker 1: say you're writing a cover letter to apply to a

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Speaker 1: new job. If you're meeting yourself up the whole time,

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Speaker 1: you've got to get this written. This is bad. You've

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Speaker 1: got to do a better letter. You could see yourself

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Speaker 1: kind of wanting to step away from your computer and

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Speaker 1: go to something else. But if you relate to yourself

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Speaker 1: in a kind and supportive way and say, you know,

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Speaker 1: I know this isn't the most fun thing, but you

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Speaker 1: can do it. You've written other cover letters before, No problem,

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Speaker 1: let's do another sentence. Great. You can see how that

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Speaker 1: could be a more positive way of relating to yourself.

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Speaker 1: So it's not so much that you know you'll lose

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Speaker 1: motivation or that you're giving yourself permission to never do anything.

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Speaker 1: You're trying to be a good friend to yourself, a

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Speaker 1: friend who wants you to succeed, who wants you to

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Speaker 1: take action aligned with your goals. If Rachel's idea of

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Speaker 1: talking to yourself like a good friend sounds appealing, then

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Speaker 1: you're in luck, because when we get back from the break,

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Speaker 1: we'll hear about how we can work towards more of

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Speaker 1: this kind positive self talk in the new year. We'll

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Speaker 1: learn about the exact training we need to strengthen our

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Speaker 1: inner voices, and some practical workouts and exercises we can

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Speaker 1: use to relate to ourselves in a healthier way. The

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Speaker 1: happiness lab will be right back. So I grew up

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Speaker 1: in the eighties and I would hear the song Whitney

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Speaker 1: us Houston singing the Greatest Love of All, The greatest

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Speaker 1: Love of All is happening to me, and it was

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Speaker 1: about loving yourself, and I thought that sounded fantastic, and

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Speaker 1: I was completely confused. Psychologist and author Rachel Tureau His

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Speaker 1: Devil an entire series of workouts that all of us

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Speaker 1: can use to strengthen our inner voices. But Rachel wasn't

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Speaker 1: always an expert in compassionate self talk. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: thought it was great for Whitney. She could love herself.

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Speaker 1: She seemed really happy. I had no idea how to

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Speaker 1: get there. I did not feel great about myself. I

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Speaker 1: knew I wasn't one of the popular kids. I was

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Speaker 1: picked last for sports, and I felt awkward and lonely

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Speaker 1: and weird. And how was I going to get to

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Speaker 1: loving myself just by wanting to love myself? But through

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Speaker 1: her training as a clinical psychologist, Rachel was able to

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Speaker 1: find a series of exercises she could use to start

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Speaker 1: relating to herself with a little more kindness. And for

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Speaker 1: me that corresponded with my own kind of forays into

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Speaker 1: mindfulness and compassion practice. Sitting down for several minutes a day,

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Speaker 1: my mind would wander away. I would be distracted, and

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Speaker 1: I would get upset at myself for being distracted, and

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Speaker 1: I would try not to get upset at myself for

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Speaker 1: being distracted. And I would try that over and over

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Speaker 1: and over and over and over. And you're training your

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Speaker 1: brain to judge less by doing the reps. You can

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Speaker 1: only do it by doing the reps. You get distracted,

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Speaker 1: and you're going to try not to judge yourself, and

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Speaker 1: that is your mind trying something new. That is a rep,

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Speaker 1: and you know, great, it's great that you were distracted

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Speaker 1: a hundred times. That's one hundred reps of trying not

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Speaker 1: to judge yourself. And gradually I felt less upset at

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Speaker 1: myself for being distracted, and then that generalized into judging

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Speaker 1: myself less in general. But even though Rachel saw the

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Speaker 1: benefits of mindfulness practices firsthand, she's also quick to admit

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Speaker 1: that diving into meditation can be tough for beginners. So

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Speaker 1: if your harsh inner voice hasn't hit the gym in

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Speaker 1: a while, she recommends starting off your self talk workouts

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Speaker 1: a bit more simply. I sort of organized the book

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Speaker 1: from easiest to hardest. I wanted people to kind of

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Speaker 1: warm up before they got into the heavier workouts, So

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Speaker 1: I start with just one breath, So one breath of

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Speaker 1: repeating something kind to yourself as you're breathing inhale my friend,

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Speaker 1: exhale my friend, for example. We do know that changing

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Speaker 1: your breathing on purpose can sometimes reduced stress, and we

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Speaker 1: have pretty good physiological evidence that that's the case. It

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Speaker 1: also sort of takes your attention to your physical body

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Speaker 1: away from that endless cycle of rumination in your mind.

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Speaker 1: My students tend to like this one because it's pretty portable.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's one breath, so it seems doable, and

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Speaker 1: you can modify it. You don't have to call yourself

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Speaker 1: your friend, or you could use a different language, but

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Speaker 1: even just the phrase inhale my friend, exhale my friend,

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Speaker 1: you can't really beat yourself up in the same second

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Speaker 1: that you're calling yourself your friend, so it can serve

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Speaker 1: to just kind of pause or interrupt what's happening, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes that pause is really helpful. And practicing it again

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Speaker 1: during times of kind of just regular times, not when

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Speaker 1: you're totally stressed out, can make that resource more available.

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Speaker 1: So then if you are, you know, a lot of

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Speaker 1: traffic or something difficult happens, it's right there. You're kind

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Speaker 1: of used to it. Okay, Okay, inhale my friend, exhale

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Speaker 1: my friend. Okay, what do I need to do next?

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Speaker 1: And I think this is one of the most powerful

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Speaker 1: aspects of this workout metaphor that we've been thinking about

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Speaker 1: for self talk, Right, It's like, if you're doing these

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Speaker 1: reps regularly when you really need it, they're there for you.

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Speaker 1: You know, like if you're practicing on the treadmill once

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Speaker 1: a week, you know, if you really have to sprint

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Speaker 1: out of traffic or get somewhere quickly because you're running

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Speaker 1: late for your flight, now all of a sudden, it

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Speaker 1: becomes easier. And I know this is something that you

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Speaker 1: mentioned specifically with this inhale my friend practice when it

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Speaker 1: comes to kind of dealing with stressful moments with your

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Speaker 1: own kids, talk a little bit about like when you've

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Speaker 1: used it in more stressful times yourself. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: just I mean so often My kids now are three, six,

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Speaker 1: and nine. So you can imagine at breakfast, everybody wants

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Speaker 1: there like four different things in the same moment. So

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Speaker 1: in between fetching this and that, I just like to say,

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Speaker 1: inhale my friend, exhale my friend. It's also kind of

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Speaker 1: fun to do in a really difficult moment, you know,

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Speaker 1: of somebody's screaming or crying. Just you know, you don't

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Speaker 1: want to take half an hour. You need to respond

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Speaker 1: to what's happening. But often one breath is available, So

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Speaker 1: that's the kind of inhale my friend breathing technique. Another

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Speaker 1: technique that you've talked about is what I love, which

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Speaker 1: is known as the spot the success technique. Tell me

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Speaker 1: a little bit about this one. You know, we have

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Speaker 1: this culture of accomplishment. I think it can really be

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Speaker 1: coming from a good place, but I think that the

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Speaker 1: trap that we fall into is feeling so bad that

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Speaker 1: we're not far enough along, that we haven't done as

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Speaker 1: much as we would like, and then that sort of

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Speaker 1: self critical attitude about it can drag us down. So

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Speaker 1: to counteract that emphasis on what we haven't done, how

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Speaker 1: we're not doing enough, there's a practice that I like

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Speaker 1: called spot the success, where instead you notice ten things

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Speaker 1: no matter how small that you have done that have

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Speaker 1: contributed in a good way to yourself, to somebody else,

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Speaker 1: or to the world. And you're not evaluating, you're just acknowledging. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I got out of bed, great, And maybe you took

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Speaker 1: a vitamin or a medication, maybe you emailed somebody or texted.

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Speaker 1: These actions are super easy to dismiss because they're not

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Speaker 1: the grand accomplishments that we hope for. But if we

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Speaker 1: can get in the habit of acknowledging these small things,

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Speaker 1: it shifts our perspective so that we're not ruminating on

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Speaker 1: everything we haven't done, but instead engaging and kind of

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Speaker 1: marinating and not feeling for a second of what we

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Speaker 1: have done. One of the things I loved when you

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Speaker 1: talked about the spot this success technique is you mentioned

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Speaker 1: that your students have a kind of strong reaction to

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Speaker 1: this one. So when my students practice spot the success,

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Speaker 1: their first urge is to dismiss it. Well, those are

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Speaker 1: just regular things, you know. They discount the behaviors. Of

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Speaker 1: course I got out of that. Of course I showered,

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Speaker 1: you know, I had to do that. But I think

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Speaker 1: that we run the risk when we take all of

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Speaker 1: our positive behaviors for granted that they don't matter to us.

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Speaker 1: Maybe we don't build them upon them because we're not

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Speaker 1: paying attention to them, and we kind of feel bad

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Speaker 1: about ourselves because we only see ourselves as not doing

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Speaker 1: what we needed to do. It was hard to come

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Speaker 1: up with ten things, and sometimes it five and I're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: push yourself, I know there's more. You know, did you

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Speaker 1: get dressed? Okay? So it's really it's a workout for

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Speaker 1: your brain. Your brain might struggle against it, but with time,

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Speaker 1: you're training your mind to pay attention to a different

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Speaker 1: subset of experiences. So far, we've heard about a few

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Speaker 1: effective beginner self talk exercises. We've learned how to use

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Speaker 1: the power of our breath to hit pause on our

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Speaker 1: inner rumination cycles so we can speak to ourselves like

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Speaker 1: a friend. We've also seen that we can get our

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Speaker 1: self talk back on course by spotting our small successes.

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Speaker 1: But when we get back from the break, Rachel's going

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Speaker 1: to up our self talk workouts a bit. She'll share

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Speaker 1: a few of the more advanced forms of training that

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Speaker 1: she practices with our students and clients. So get ready

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Speaker 1: to take our self talk workouts to the next level

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Speaker 1: when the happiness lad returns in a moment. Paying attention

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Speaker 1: to your breath and spotting small successes can be a

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Speaker 1: great way to begin strength training your inner voice. But

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Speaker 1: if you really want to take your self talk to

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Speaker 1: the next level, you need to deal with one of

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Speaker 1: the biggest hurdles to treating yourself kindly judgment. You know,

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Speaker 1: the inner monologue that tells you that this situation sucks

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Speaker 1: and you're not doing good enough, and why do you

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Speaker 1: keep screwing up anyway. Rachel thinks that achieving a healthier

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Speaker 1: inner voice and being kind to yourself requires finding practices

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Speaker 1: to soften these kinds of judgments, and one of her

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Speaker 1: favorite workouts for doing that involves getting a little curious.

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Speaker 1: How can curiosity help us with judgment? Well, curiosity gives

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Speaker 1: us another kind of mental habits, something different to chew on, right,

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Speaker 1: we're just kind of used to chewing on the judgment.

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Speaker 1: I like this, I don't like that, but yeah, what

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Speaker 1: if you notice something curiously? And one fun way to

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Speaker 1: do this I think for students, especially who are struggling

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Speaker 1: to pay attention in class, I like an exercise of

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Speaker 1: noticing ten things in the room that you're in right

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Speaker 1: now that you haven't noticed before. I mean, you're probably

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Speaker 1: in a room that you've been in many times. But

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Speaker 1: you know, if I look at my ceiling, there's variations

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Speaker 1: and the plaster. Maybe you can notice your feet right now.

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Speaker 1: Your feet can often be pretty neutral. How do they

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Speaker 1: feel in your socks? Can you notice the position of

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Speaker 1: your toes? And with practice, you can really cultivate this

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Speaker 1: ability to notice without judging. I like to say, there's

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Speaker 1: more in this moment. There's always something else to notice.

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Speaker 1: So if you're ever having a moment that just doesn't

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Speaker 1: feel like a wonderful moment, there are different strategies to

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Speaker 1: get through that moment. Maybe you're in a boring movie

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Speaker 1: you went to with a friend and you kind of

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Speaker 1: wish that you weren't there. Well, there might be something

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Speaker 1: else to notice in that moment. You could notice the

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Speaker 1: costumes a little bit more in the movie, or you know,

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Speaker 1: you could notice the feeling of a texture of the seat.

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Speaker 1: So you do have some choices with respect to what

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Speaker 1: you notice, and sometimes noticing those neutral things can help

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Speaker 1: you survive or endure a moment of suffering. A final

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Speaker 1: practice I wanted to talk about is one that you

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Speaker 1: refer to is allowing all emotions skillfully. What does this

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Speaker 1: mean and how do we do it? It It sounds amazing

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Speaker 1: allowing all emotions skillfully. I know there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: talk lately about okay, you should allow your feelings or

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Speaker 1: feel your feelings. And you know, I'm a psychologist, so

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Speaker 1: I like that idea. Okay, feel your feelings. It's okay

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Speaker 1: to have feelings. The problem is it's easy to get

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Speaker 1: lost in them. Feelings are just really tough. Emotions are intense,

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Speaker 1: and it can feel like you're swallowed up by them

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Speaker 1: or overwhelmed by them. So often. I think that in

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Speaker 1: certain times in my life I thought I was like,

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Speaker 1: really in touch with my feelings, but I was ruminating.

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Speaker 1: I was sort of letting myself be swept away and

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Speaker 1: the feelings. And so this idea of allowing all feelings

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Speaker 1: skillfully means thinking about approaching feelings with a different perspective.

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Speaker 1: You're still allowing all of them, but on top, you're

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Speaker 1: adding up perspective of a kind witness, somebody who cares.

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Speaker 1: You're tapping into that noticing caring part of yourself. You're

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Speaker 1: not going to suppress any of the feelings. This isn't

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Speaker 1: like toxic positivity. You're not bottling up, but you're not

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Speaker 1: only submerged in the feelings, you're also noticing and caring

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Speaker 1: for yourself. So, for instance, one of the strategies is

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Speaker 1: doctor Kristin Neff's self compassion break, where you take a

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Speaker 1: moment to really acknowledge that this is a difficult moment.

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Speaker 1: I am suffering in this moment. This is real. And

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Speaker 1: notice with that acknowledgement, you're not criticizing yourself, so you're

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Speaker 1: not beating yourself. I shouldn't have this difficult moment. What's

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Speaker 1: wrong with me? You're really kind of letting yourself feel it.

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Speaker 1: Some people might even say, maybe notice where it is

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Speaker 1: in your body again, using that curiosity to open up,

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Speaker 1: maybe to allow more and maybe get not only in

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Speaker 1: your head, but kind of notice how that it's affecting

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Speaker 1: your body. So that's the first step of the self

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Speaker 1: compassion break, noticing well, this is real, this is a

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Speaker 1: real moment of difficulty, and then reminding yourself that that's

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Speaker 1: part of being human. This doesn't mean there's anything wrong

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Speaker 1: with you, anything bad about you. You might not like it,

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Speaker 1: but part of being human is having difficult feelings. This

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Speaker 1: is something that connects you to other people. It might

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Speaker 1: feel alienating, but this is a human aspect. And then

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Speaker 1: the last step of the self compassion break is thinking

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Speaker 1: about how can I support myself in this moment? Do

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Speaker 1: I need to connect with a friend, Do I need

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Speaker 1: a walk, Do I need a glass of water? Do

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Speaker 1: I just need to journal or listen to a piece

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Speaker 1: of music, or do I just need to kind of

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Speaker 1: sit here and breathe for a few minutes. And you

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Speaker 1: can kind of let that question come up. You might

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Speaker 1: even not answer it immediately, but more you're training that

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Speaker 1: attitude towards suffering, not like this is terrible, I shouldn't

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Speaker 1: feel this way, but yeah, this is part of life,

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Speaker 1: this is real. How can I support myself? And so

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Speaker 1: you've been doing these workouts for a long time, and

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Speaker 1: you have lots of students who've engaged in these workouts.

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Speaker 1: What are some the benefits that you've seen of kind

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Speaker 1: of committing to doing these practices over and over and

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Speaker 1: over again and putting the time in the reps in well,

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Speaker 1: the one that I'm especially interested in is experiencing less

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Speaker 1: self criticism, and self criticism is strongly associated with higher

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Speaker 1: levels of depression, anxiety, and stress, So reducing self criticism

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Speaker 1: is a wonderful thing to do for your well being. Also,

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Speaker 1: my students report feeling more comfortable socializing. It can be

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Speaker 1: really tough if you're putting yourself down all the time

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Speaker 1: to really feel like it's okay to connect with people

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Speaker 1: or talk with people. And you know, there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of social anxiety out there, especially after COVID, maybe people

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Speaker 1: are even less used to socializing. So people describe being

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Speaker 1: a little bit more open to connection. So there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of different effects that can emerge, and it's been

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Speaker 1: a real pleasure to see my students describe the changes

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Speaker 1: that take place in their minds with new self talk

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Speaker 1: techniques and then how that translates into their relationships and

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Speaker 1: their academic work. And have you personally seen the benefits

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Speaker 1: of it. It's been a real game changer for me.

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Speaker 1: So my teenage years in my early twenties were really

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Speaker 1: plagued with a lot of self criticism. I felt really

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Speaker 1: bad about myself and I did feel like that was

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Speaker 1: a core aspect of who I was as a person.

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Speaker 1: And it was really remarkable to me that over the

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Speaker 1: years my new normal changed so that my default way

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Speaker 1: of relating to myself is kind and encouraging. When things

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Speaker 1: get bad, I have a better sense that this isn't

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Speaker 1: going to last forever, that even if I'm feeling sort

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Speaker 1: of bad right now, there are strategies that can help me.

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Speaker 1: And it's very likely that even if it doesn't feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm going to feel good right away, that I

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Speaker 1: can feel better pretty soon, and that I know that

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Speaker 1: treating myself with more support and kindness feels better. It's

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Speaker 1: a really powerful thing once it's sort of established. We

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Speaker 1: talked about that sort of default mental home of like

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Speaker 1: a lot of people live in that space of putting

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Speaker 1: themselves down all the time, but overpracticing doing the reps,

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Speaker 1: you know, hundreds of thousands of times being really kind

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Speaker 1: and encouraging. It's okay, yep, yeph. Life is hard, You've

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Speaker 1: got a lot of feelings. You're going to do it.

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Speaker 1: It's going to be all right. Getting into that zone

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Speaker 1: makes it more accessible when you need it. Okay, this

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Speaker 1: is a harder day. Now I can go back to

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Speaker 1: that zone. I know where that place is. I've felt

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Speaker 1: it before, so I feel more and more that instead

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Speaker 1: of just wanting to treat myself better, that this is

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Speaker 1: the way that I live in my body now. Of

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Speaker 1: course sometimes that yeah, I self critical, but I'm really

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Speaker 1: glad that I have techniques for handling it. And I

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Speaker 1: know that it's not a question of having zero self criticism.

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Speaker 1: But I'm so glad to experience much less and to

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Speaker 1: be in so much less pain about it. And I'm

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Speaker 1: really glad to learn that there are these techniques that

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Speaker 1: have helped so many people. I hope my conversation with

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Speaker 1: Rachel today has convinced you that you can develop a kinder,

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Speaker 1: healthier inner voice in the new year. The bad news

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Speaker 1: is that, just like in proving your biceps or your thighs,

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Speaker 1: strengthening your self talk does take a bit of hard work,

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Speaker 1: repeated training, and commitment. But the good news is that

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Speaker 1: you can start seeing improvements surprisingly quickly, even with a

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Speaker 1: self talk workout as simple as taking one intentional breath.

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Speaker 1: Next week, we'll tackle ways to better listen to and

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Speaker 1: strengthen our inner voice when it comes to another New

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Speaker 1: year's stressor our jobs. We'll see that a better work

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Speaker 1: life harmony is possible if we use the right strategies

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Speaker 1: to renegotiate our relationship with work. So I hope you'll

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Speaker 1: be back soon to hear the next special New Year's

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Speaker 1: Season episode of The Happiness Lab with Me, Doctor Laurie Santos.

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Speaker 1: Until then, let's hit the self talk, Jim, why don't

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Speaker 1: you inhale my friend and exhale my friend. Inhale my

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Speaker 1: friend and exhale my friend. Inhale my friend and exhale

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Speaker 1: my friend. The Happiness Lab is co written by Ryan

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Speaker 1: Dilley and is produced by Ryan Dilley and Courtney Guerino.

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Speaker 1: The show was mastered by Evan Viola and our original

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Speaker 1: music was composed by Zachary Silver. Special thanks to Shanebeard, Greticon,

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Speaker 1: Nicole Morano, Morgan Ratner, Maggie Taylor, Jacob Weisberg, my agent,

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Speaker 1: Ben Davis, and the rest of the Pushkin team. The

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Speaker 1: Happiness Lab is brought to you by Pushkin Industries and

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Speaker 1: by Me, Doctor Laurie Santos.