1 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,880 Speaker 1: So let's talk about the Kardashians and this disaster. They 2 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,280 Speaker 1: have been getting a lot of heat because they donated 3 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: things from Costco and people are saying, you can buy Costco. 4 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: They donated meals from a restaurant to a fire station, 5 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 1: and that's a drop in the bucket. 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:26,120 Speaker 2: You're all billionaires. 7 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: And then they donated money after no and then they 8 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,200 Speaker 1: promoted Skims at the worst possible time and people were enraged. 9 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 1: And then they donated money from Skims, you know, to 10 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,319 Speaker 1: frost it, which people are very smart. People caught on. 11 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,159 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not saying they're right about it. I'm 12 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,480 Speaker 1: just saying people caught on. They said the devil works hard, 13 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:42,640 Speaker 1: but Chris Janner works harder. 14 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,599 Speaker 2: Okay. So they have. 15 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 1: Gotten dragged not because they did anything so drastically wrong, 16 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: because they donated. You know, we don't get to count 17 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: other people's money and tell them what to do. They 18 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: got dragged for having private firefighters at their house. And 19 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: I saw someone at social media saying, what is money? 20 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: Why did you make money and build this house so 21 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: you're not gonna protect it? You know, it doesn't they're 22 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,319 Speaker 1: not firefighters that would be working on the big fires. 23 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,199 Speaker 1: So you can split the difference. It's not a great look. 24 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that you might not do it if 25 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: you had the money. It doesn't mean that they're wrong. 26 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,039 Speaker 1: It just means that it's like, all together, not a 27 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:21,400 Speaker 1: great look. Now, I'm not against them. I have met Chloe, 28 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,119 Speaker 1: she's lovely. I've met Cordy she was fine. I met Kylie, 29 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 1: she was We did not really, she didn't really say anything. 30 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: I've met Chris, she was fine. And I've met Kim 31 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: and she was nice. And I hear that, you know, 32 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: Kim is a very nice person and on time, and 33 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,959 Speaker 1: like they're very hard workers. They are entrepreneurs. They are 34 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,200 Speaker 1: very successful, they are very smart. They have really monetized it, 35 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: and everybody gave them their flowers and their money, fair 36 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: and square. But the age of elitism being over, it 37 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: is sticking out like it is glaring, the era of 38 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 1: I'm up here, you're down there, the flaunting of wealth, 39 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 1: all of these things I said on this podcast when 40 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: I was just done and I was just full, I 41 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 1: just thought, we cannot support this flaunting. This I'm a 42 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 1: humble brag on a yacht, this lifestyle, These kids that 43 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: think that you have to be in full beat hair 44 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 1: and makeup twenty four hours a day, and your waist 45 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: has to be sinched it and you have to have 46 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: extensions on, and you need to all look exactly the 47 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: same and your clones and then everybody had got the 48 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,919 Speaker 1: BBL butts. But then the Kardashians all presumably went on 49 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 1: something to lose weight at the same time, and then 50 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 1: their bodies are smaller, so everybody goes that way. And 51 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,840 Speaker 1: then we lose sixteen pounds in a week from Marilyn 52 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 1: Monroe and like, you know, to wear that outfit. It's 53 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: just all seems so superficial at this time, which is 54 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 1: ironically hiding Montag's song that's gone viral and it's not 55 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 1: superficial at all, So I'll get into that too. But people, 56 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: not even me, I don't care. I don't know what 57 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 1: they're doing. People have been waterboarded with this flaunting of 58 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: luxury and with all of this tragedy, and with just 59 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 1: the social media being about being real and not authentic, 60 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: with them not fully translating, you know, on certain apps 61 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 1: to the same level that they have on the more 62 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: superficial look at me apps, or just the average person 63 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,360 Speaker 1: just doesn't want to hear about and see it. It's 64 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 1: just too unrelatable and it's part of the elitism, the 65 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 1: age of elitism being over, celebrity being over. It's just shifted. 66 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: And they had an incredible decade long run. It was 67 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: an era. It's an entire era. What they've done is 68 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: will be studied in business books. But the audience has 69 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: just said enough. And I predicted this. I predicted this 70 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: on this very podcast in the Hamptons. I was in 71 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: my basement and I said, we need a Kardashian klened, 72 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: We need a Kardashian intervention. We don't need the humble 73 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: brags and listen. I was on a show that was 74 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 1: about the age of elitism. The housewives have jumped the shark. 75 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: The views are abysmal because the age of elitism is over. 76 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: Having the twelve thousand dollars Barkin is not relatable. Putting 77 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 1: it on television like a character, and you know, sitting 78 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: it in front of a camera and showing its price 79 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: underneath and might as well and naming it is not 80 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: and calling them her is not relatable. And it used 81 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 1: to be aspirational and now it's just pretty vile. And 82 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: I have a lot of luxury goods. I have a 83 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,479 Speaker 1: watch collection. Okay, I have beautiful homes. I have had 84 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: all the bags. Like maybe out of insecurity, maybe out 85 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: of flexing, maybe out of the game, maybe out of competition, 86 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,839 Speaker 1: maybe out of showing off on television, maybe out of 87 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: being on the Housewives. This is what I'm wearing competition. 88 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,239 Speaker 1: You know, Denise Richards went on The Housewives with shorts 89 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:36,600 Speaker 1: and a tank to up and they looked at her 90 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,799 Speaker 1: like she was a fucking alien. Because people are wearing 91 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,479 Speaker 1: ball gowns in their basements when no one's gonna see them, 92 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 1: when they're shooting scenes on vacation, like not their basements 93 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 1: but their balconies. Like it's just it's performative, and that's fine. 94 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 1: That's what it is. It's an art form. It's now 95 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: a different show. It's now theatrics great. It's just not 96 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 1: landing because people don't want to see a vile, vulgar 97 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 1: display of wealth anymore. They just don't want to. You know, 98 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 1: I sol fifty handbags. I have the receipts to prove it. 99 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: I am about to make a sizeable donation to be strong. 100 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 1: But I believe it's going to be North Carolina because 101 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: we're gonna get into North Carolina. I'm not a hero. 102 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 1: I am wealthy. I have a lot of things. I 103 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 1: fly first class. I'm not you know, moving into a box. 104 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: I didn't lose my house. I'm just saying that there's 105 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: a line of where people want to see the highs 106 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: and lows and what something costs and know what it is. 107 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 1: Because there are wealthy people that want to buy some 108 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:30,919 Speaker 1: of the things that you have, and then there's the 109 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: affordable things and you don't have to perform any of that. 110 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 1: I'm just saying there's a line where it becomes vulgar 111 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: and it becomes flaunting, and it becomes I'm rich and 112 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,039 Speaker 1: you're not. And the problem is that they're not going 113 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 1: to be able to win for losing because if they 114 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,360 Speaker 1: then wear in expensive things, it's going to be a costplay. 115 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,479 Speaker 1: You know, they're going into Target, it's a costplay. They 116 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,360 Speaker 1: can't win for losing. So I guess that's why the 117 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:56,040 Speaker 1: Kardashians have been quieter with a K than ever. They 118 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: have been quieter than ever. You know it, it's not 119 00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: just because the media doesn't report on them as much, 120 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 1: which they've just been quieter than ever because they know 121 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,719 Speaker 1: that they have to stay quiet and this time where 122 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:11,600 Speaker 1: no one has the bandwidth for luxury and astronomical displays 123 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,239 Speaker 1: of wealth. And I'm not I don't hate the player 124 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: hate the game, you know, don't hate the player at 125 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: the game. 126 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,919 Speaker 2: I'm not. I'm not criticizing them. I'm really not. 127 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,040 Speaker 1: I'm speaking to what people are digesting and what people 128 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:43,279 Speaker 1: are talking about. Walmart Burkin broke the Internet. Okay, what 129 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,679 Speaker 1: is the Walmart Burkin? The Walmart Burkin is a bag 130 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 1: that is a knockoff of an air mez bag that 131 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,840 Speaker 1: does not have the logo, that has an additional strap, 132 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 1: that is made in China, that has just been put 133 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: on the Amazon website. A third party market plays just 134 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: I mean a marketplace that sells third party merchandise. So 135 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: Walmart took the entire media blitz for this when Amazon 136 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 1: has been doing it for years, and they do it 137 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 1: wider and deeper. Amazon is Chinatown, just so you know. 138 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 1: Amazon is Chinatown. It is knockoff central for any and everything. 139 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: Walmart just it became a good sound to say that 140 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: there's a Walmart Burkin. And Amazon and Walmart do roughly 141 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: the same revenue, like six hundred and fifty million dollars 142 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 1: a year approximately, and there could be an intellectual property issue, 143 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: although there probably isn't because if Amazon has been doing 144 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: it so wide and deep for so long, then I 145 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 1: don't think there's an intellectual property issue with Walmart. Maybe 146 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 1: their supplier ran out of bags, which is why they 147 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 1: sold out. It's been everywhere. It literally broke the internet. 148 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 1: But here's the bigger picture, and here's what it means. 149 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: Here's what was happening as a residual effect. What was 150 00:07:55,240 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: happening was the wealthiest of women in a panic, are 151 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: in a panic, needing to tell on social media why 152 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 1: the Walmart? Why the air Mes burkin is so much 153 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: more elea, Why the craftsmanship, Why the stitching, Why the leather. Okay, 154 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 1: it's a twelve one hundred dollars bag compared to an 155 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 1: eighty five dollars bag, so it's fairly lost on people 156 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 1: when they're like, oh, this has strong saddle restitching. People like, right, 157 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: I'm putting my shit in it. My tried end is 158 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,160 Speaker 1: going to be at the bottom of the bag and 159 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: I'm going to drop, you know, have a bottle of water. 160 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 2: It's going to open there. 161 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,080 Speaker 1: Like that's what people are actually saying, but what's more 162 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 1: important is the people that can afford it, that can't 163 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:39,840 Speaker 1: afford a burkin, which is everyone went in and. 164 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 2: Stormed the castle. 165 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: There's a pride to this also, where they didn't want 166 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 1: to have a knockoff. They don't want to have a 167 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 1: bag that says Airmes on it. Then their friends are like, 168 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 1: what are you doing. You're wearing a fake bag that 169 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:55,600 Speaker 1: you can't afford, because that's not dignified, and that's you know, shame, 170 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: and you feel like you don't belong. Walmart gave everyone 171 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 1: licensed belong Walmart set. It doesn't have a label on it, 172 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 1: and it has a strap. It's your bag, far and square. 173 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,959 Speaker 1: It's eighty five dollars. You get to wear it. So 174 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: they have been storming the castle and saying to the 175 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:16,079 Speaker 1: rich people, guess what, we're here too. It's absolutely a 176 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 1: problem for Aaron Mez no matter what they say, it 177 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,840 Speaker 1: has to be and it's a marketing problem. 178 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 2: And the bigger. 179 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 1: Picture of that is that it's the age of elitism 180 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 1: is over, the age of celebrity is over, the age 181 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: of I'm up here, you're down here is over. The 182 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: age of luxury goods. In many cases as we knew 183 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 1: it is over. There's a pride in people having a dupe. 184 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: Now now, I believe in celebrating the original designer. I believe, 185 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 1: and I started this thing on social media called handbag University. 186 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 1: I believe that these people that can afford the eighty 187 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 1: five dollars bag should not be buying a knockoff because 188 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: they're sticking it to the man that they hate. So 189 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: it's a person you hate, you're maybe jealous of you 190 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: you can't afford to be with, you know, or the 191 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 1: item you can't afford to have, and now you're wearing it. 192 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,599 Speaker 1: So it's like you hate it, but you're wearing it. 193 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 1: People could say that about me with Chanel, but I 194 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 1: I would take such a financial loss on the things 195 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 1: that I own and I get it. So I'm saying, 196 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: by the way, wear the knockoff if you want, don't 197 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: wear the knock off if you don't want. I'm not judging. 198 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: I'm saying handbag University is about finding phenomenal bags that 199 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: are so affordable, like thirty dollars forty dollars, so we 200 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: could feel proud and not have a bag that just 201 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,560 Speaker 1: has a triangle on it to make us feel secure 202 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 1: and ABCDEFGHI letter l V letter on it, just to 203 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,719 Speaker 1: make us feel secure. Because I've seen tank tops of 204 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,960 Speaker 1: triangles that people are paying hundreds of dollars for. It's 205 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 1: a tank top, it has a fifty cent triangle on it. 206 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: So everybody's lost their mind. And the age of elitism 207 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 1: is over in celebrity and in certainly in luxury goods. 208 00:10:56,280 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: And we'll get into that more later. I just want 209 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 1: to say, I don't want someone perfect, but I want 210 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 1: someone new with tags. Like if I see someone and 211 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 1: I see the pink flags, the red flags, and I 212 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:17,800 Speaker 1: realize that they have a stain, have this damage, have 213 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 1: this problem, have this thing in the beginning when it's 214 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: the new car smell. 215 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 2: I don't want that. I want a relationship to be new. 216 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 2: With tags. 217 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,920 Speaker 1: It will get stain, it will get dirty, it will 218 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: become damage. But if somebody comes in and I'm dating 219 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: them and they have they're already defective merchandise where someone's 220 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: going to sell it for twenty percent off put it back. 221 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:40,320 Speaker 2: What do I mean? 222 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 1: You meet someone their texting communication is bizarre. They sort 223 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 1: of ghost for a while, they disappear, They have some sketch, 224 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 1: they have a background, there are red flags. People tell 225 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 1: you things, you find out things. They are not making 226 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 1: you feel good, they're not taking care of you, they're 227 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,839 Speaker 1: not an equal partner. Whatever it is. You know, it's 228 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 1: different for everyone. You know, you make excuses for them, 229 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 1: You make excuses, you market it new with tags. 230 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 2: You do not need. 231 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,960 Speaker 1: And I don't mean damaged goods like someone has is 232 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 1: divorced with children. 233 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,560 Speaker 2: That's not damaged goods. That's beautiful. 234 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: I don't mean someone has suffers from anxiety. I don't 235 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 1: mean that. I mean someone is just not meeting you 236 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 1: where you're at. Okay, and it could be it could 237 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,120 Speaker 1: be because of something they've been through. I suppose, you know, 238 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 1: timing is everything. You're not going to meet someone the 239 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 1: second after they get divorced or after they you know, 240 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 1: went bankrupt or something that's that's a trauma experience like 241 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: something like that, but new with. 242 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 2: Tags, especially for the young ones. 243 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,960 Speaker 1: Okay, I want to talk about gas lighting in relationships 244 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 1: because I think it's an overused word, but it's also 245 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 1: an under used word. It's an underused concept. I am 246 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 1: so grateful for that word that years ago. I think 247 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 1: I'm housewives. Someone said it, or someone said it at 248 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: a reunion and I didn't really understand it. It's used 249 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,440 Speaker 1: for like, wait, you know, you're pushing that on me, 250 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 1: and when it's really you, You're it's a turnaround whatever. 251 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:16,440 Speaker 1: I have to tell you that, I think in relationships 252 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 1: it is so overused, not the term but the practice. 253 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:27,640 Speaker 1: So I'm talking to ladies, I think men and women. No, 254 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: I'm talking to everyone. So I'm talking to you guys, 255 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: men and women. When you're in a relationship and you 256 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: trust your gut, or you're dating someone and you trust 257 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: your gut and you know that what you're feeling is 258 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 1: correct and valid, and after you talk to someone or 259 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,679 Speaker 1: convey that, somehow, the pile of shit is dumped on 260 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 1: you and you don't have clarity. You actually think you 261 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 1: did something wrong, or you start to understand, or you 262 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:57,160 Speaker 1: reshift and you remarket the situation. You've been gas lit, 263 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:03,600 Speaker 1: and it's very hard to have the self control to 264 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:08,080 Speaker 1: not allow that, and it's very hard to not be 265 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 1: steamrolled and to not yourself feel guilty and start apologizing 266 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,320 Speaker 1: for something you didn't even do. 267 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:14,319 Speaker 2: It's the turnaround. 268 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 1: It's somebody cheats on you and then they tell you 269 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 1: that you haven't been there for them, that you haven't 270 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 1: been communicating, that you never dress sexy, that you let yourself. 271 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 2: Go something like that. That's gaslighting, right like. 272 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:32,560 Speaker 1: It's the turnaround when someone does something that's not correct, 273 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,720 Speaker 1: that's rude, that's ungrateful, and you express that it hurt 274 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 1: you or that you don't like it, and they tell you, 275 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,920 Speaker 1: do you not realize what I'm going through? You're so 276 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 1: insensitive right now? Or justifies what they did and says, 277 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,640 Speaker 1: I mean that wasn't that bad. I mean, come on, 278 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 1: and then puts it on, dumps it on you. Don't 279 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 1: dump your pile of shit on me. So do not 280 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: let anyone dump their pile of shit on you what 281 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 1: you feel. If you're saying if you have a history 282 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,560 Speaker 1: of you know, being irrational or flying off the handle, 283 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 1: or going half cocked or not thinking before you speak, 284 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,360 Speaker 1: that's a different thing. Please be honest with yourself. If 285 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 1: you are a rational, sane person that is calm, cool 286 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 1: and collected, your feelings are valid. And if your gut 287 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 1: usually serves you right at work in other areas, then 288 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 1: your feelings are valid. And if someone makes you feel crazy, 289 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: they've likely gaslight you. So it's not a great term 290 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 1: right now because of the fires. But you put out 291 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 1: that fire and you don't tolerate that, and it's a 292 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,720 Speaker 1: red it's a flaming red flag.