1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,080 Speaker 1: Coming up on you need therapy. 2 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 2: The one that is I think causing more harm than 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 2: good is this thing called the outlet. And you know, 4 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,440 Speaker 2: I'm sure there's knockoff ones, but it's this thing you 5 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 2: put around a baby's ankle and it monitors heart rate. 6 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 2: And the amount of false positives on these devices is 7 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,239 Speaker 2: through the roof, and so you know, people are checking 8 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,439 Speaker 2: the heart rate all the time, and if you think 9 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 2: way back to our evolutionary environment, no one's like checking 10 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 2: the pulse of a baby twenty four seven, Like, we 11 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 2: don't actually need this information, and it causes more distress 12 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 2: than good. I started to realize that not being an 13 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,200 Speaker 2: expert isn't a liability, it's a real gift. 14 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,480 Speaker 1: If we don't know something about ourselves at this point 15 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,159 Speaker 1: in our life, it's probably because it's uncomfortable to know. 16 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: If you can die before you die, then you can 17 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: really live. 18 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 3: There's a wisdom at death's door. 19 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: I thought it was insane. 20 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I didn't know what to do because there 21 00:00:58,640 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 3: was no internet. 22 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 4: Oh know, man, I'm like, I feel like everything is hard. Hey, y'all, 23 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,399 Speaker 4: my name is Kat. I'm a human first and a 24 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 4: licensed therapist second. And right now I'm inviting you into 25 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 4: conversations that I hope encourage you to become more curious 26 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:21,200 Speaker 4: and less judgmental about yourself, others, and the world around you. 27 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,319 Speaker 1: Welcome to You Need Therapy. 28 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 4: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of You 29 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 4: Need Therapy podcast. 30 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: My name is kat. 31 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 4: I am the host. And quick reminder before we get 32 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:38,679 Speaker 4: into today's stuff that although this podcast is hosted by 33 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 4: a therapist, and you actually have two therapists with you today, 34 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,319 Speaker 4: which is really special, this podcast does not serve as 35 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 4: a replacement or a substitute for any actual mental health services. However, 36 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 4: we always hope that this space can help you wherever 37 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 4: you are now or maybe sometime in the future. And 38 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 4: like I said, we have two therapists today. You have 39 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 4: me and and we have the newest Three Chords Therapy 40 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,560 Speaker 4: therapist with us, Bridget Welcome. 41 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: Hello, Thank you for having me. 42 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 4: Of course, I invited her on today for a couple 43 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,280 Speaker 4: of reasons. I wanted you guys to get to know 44 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 4: her like you've gotten to know the other Chords of 45 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 4: Three Chords Therapy. And also because when I announced her 46 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 4: being a part of our team, I also shared with 47 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 4: everybody that she brings a unique or a different or 48 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 4: a special area of expertise that encompasses a lot of 49 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:37,640 Speaker 4: stuff that I am not super familiar with, and I 50 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,959 Speaker 4: thought it would be interesting to y'all because we've never 51 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 4: really talked about it on here. 52 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: And that is perinatal mental health. 53 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 4: And if you're wondering what is that, don't worry. We're 54 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,079 Speaker 4: going to explain it from top to bottom. And if 55 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 4: you have any thoughts, questions, anything that you hear that 56 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 4: you're like, I don't really understand that. Also, now that 57 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 4: you can send in questions if there's simple questions you 58 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,079 Speaker 4: just want some clarity on something to Catherinet you need 59 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 4: Therapy podcast dot com and we can have Bridget on 60 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 4: whenever to answer a couch Talks question. So if there's 61 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 4: something that you hear that you're like, I want to 62 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 4: know more, you don't have to be in the dark, 63 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 4: send in those questions and we'll get to them. So 64 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 4: before we get into all of the juice, will you 65 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,839 Speaker 4: give like a synopsis of like how did you get 66 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 4: into this specialty field? 67 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: Yees, not even the field of therapy, but like right, periandal. 68 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 2: Right, So looking back now, it's like crazy to say this, 69 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 2: but I have been babysitting infants since I was thirteen 70 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 2: years old, which like, if you picture a thirteen year 71 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 2: old like rock in a two week old in their arms, 72 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 2: it's it's a shocking image, but it worked. So I 73 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 2: had been around babies and pregnant woman for over a decade. 74 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 2: And when I was in my last year of grad 75 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 2: school and I was looking for an internship, the therapy 76 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 2: practice that I was interviewing with was just starting this 77 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 2: new maternal men health program and they were kind of 78 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 2: asking me questions about it. Would I be interested in it, 79 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 2: And at the time, I was still babysitting because I 80 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 2: babysat throughout grad school and I had been watching infants. 81 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 2: I was like, yes, this actually sounds perfect. So I 82 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 2: kind of learned about what they were looking for and 83 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,040 Speaker 2: we both felt it would be a really good fit. 84 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 2: And then basically before I started seeing clients, I did 85 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:29,279 Speaker 2: this like specialized training and maternal mental health. Part of 86 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,279 Speaker 2: it was paranatal moon anxiety disorders or p MADS, and 87 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 2: then some was paranadal grief and loss. But I think 88 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 2: we'll focus more on the p MADS today. But that's 89 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 2: kind of how I got into it, and then as 90 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 2: I started seeing clients, I just adore this population, like 91 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 2: love it so much, clicked with them so well, and 92 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 2: I also just find it very special to be a 93 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:56,160 Speaker 2: part of this, you know, extremely special, magical, but also 94 00:04:56,320 --> 00:05:00,599 Speaker 2: really difficult time in women's lives where a lot of 95 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 2: the focus is like how's the baby, is, the baby's leaving, 96 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,679 Speaker 2: how's the baby and not as much focus is given 97 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 2: to the parents. So I just absolutely fell in love 98 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,839 Speaker 2: with this population and really enjoy working with them, and 99 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 2: that's kind of how I ended up here. 100 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,279 Speaker 4: So if you heard part of that is that she 101 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:21,919 Speaker 4: did specialized training and then you have experience of working 102 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 4: with that population. I think we've talked before about how 103 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 4: when you go to grad school, you go to school 104 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 4: to become a therapist, you are trained and very generalize things, 105 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,279 Speaker 4: and then it's almost like I'm not comparing us to doctors, 106 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 4: but you know how like, yeah, the internship is that's 107 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 4: where you go to really learn and you develop into 108 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 4: the type of therapists you're going to be. And so 109 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:47,840 Speaker 4: that early experiences, it's so formative, and that is in 110 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 4: this population, and so that's where a lot of like 111 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,280 Speaker 4: your brain space and where your brain goes. 112 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 1: We'll talk later about why. 113 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 4: Being trained and seeing a therapist in this specialty is important. 114 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 4: But she's not just some He was like, this is interesting. 115 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 4: I read a book on it, like you've been in 116 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:03,280 Speaker 4: the weeks of it. 117 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so what is it? Can we start there? Yeah? 118 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 2: So just kind of want to start with defining peri natal. 119 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 2: So peri natal is actually just a time frame. So 120 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 2: paranonal encompasses anywhere from trying to get pregnant to a 121 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,600 Speaker 2: year postpartum. Some people say up to two year postpartum, 122 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 2: but a lot of the research is done on a 123 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 2: year postpartum, so I kind of stick to that. So 124 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:31,159 Speaker 2: p MADS that stands for paranatal mood and anxiety disorders. 125 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,680 Speaker 2: And something that is so great about this time in 126 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,919 Speaker 2: our society is there's a lot more awareness about postpartum depression. 127 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 2: But that's only one of like five of the most common. 128 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,479 Speaker 2: One in five people can develop a p MAD, So 129 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 2: if you're pregnant or gave birth, Yeah, it is a lot, 130 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 2: it really is. And there are some risk factors like, 131 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 2: for instance, if you've had a history of a depressive episode, 132 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,679 Speaker 2: history of an anxiety episode, you're more likely to get 133 00:06:55,920 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 2: depression or anxiety. But a big big factor is marital strain, 134 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 2: living in poverty. 135 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 3: That's a really big one. 136 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 2: If you're a teenager who's pregnant, about half of teenagers 137 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 2: develop a p MAD, So those are the biggest factors. 138 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 2: Also if a partner has substance abuse or if they 139 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 2: have depression themselves. There's actually a really big correlation between 140 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 2: paternal and maternal mental health. So as you know, a 141 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,120 Speaker 2: lot of times it kind of works in both directions, 142 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 2: where like oftentimes, you know, this is really specific to 143 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 2: a heterosexual relationship, but you know it works in any 144 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 2: relationship where oftentimes the woman can almost be a therapist 145 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 2: to their partner. You know, they take on a lot 146 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 2: of their issues, they talk about all those things. So 147 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 2: if their partner has depression anxiety, they're really getting a 148 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 2: lot of that. But it actually works in both directions. 149 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 2: So I kind of like to say p mads and dads. 150 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 2: So p mads and dads. If the woman has depression, 151 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 2: it's about a fifty percent chance that the father will 152 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 2: get depression as well. So it's pretty highly correlated. Some 153 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 2: of the more common p mads, the first one would 154 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 2: be depression, so we know a lot about postpartum depression. 155 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 2: A lot of things that come up there are global 156 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 2: negative thoughts about the self as they. 157 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,760 Speaker 3: Relate to being a parent. 158 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 2: So, you know, thoughts like I'm the worst mom ever, 159 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 2: I never should have had this baby, my family would 160 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 2: be better off without me. 161 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 3: Something that's really important here is one. 162 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 2: Of the leading causes of death in the first year 163 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 2: postpartum is suicide, and risk for suicide is quite high 164 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 2: in the year after giving birth. So that's something that's 165 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 2: really important, and it's really important to specifically ask, you know, 166 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 2: are you having those thoughts, because a lot of women, 167 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 2: you know, suffer in isolation with those. 168 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,679 Speaker 1: So much. Yeah, because it's like we shouldn't. 169 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,719 Speaker 4: I should be happy, this should be the best time 170 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 4: in my life. I should be obsessed with my kid. 171 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: I should be happy, yeah heaven. 172 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:01,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's it's just not realistic, and you know, 173 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,720 Speaker 2: that's something we'll probably get into later. But these unrealistic 174 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 2: portrayals on media of what it's like postpartum can have 175 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,200 Speaker 2: a lot of people compare. 176 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 3: In to spair. 177 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 1: Why am I not like that? Yes, exactly. 178 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 2: So that puts a lot of unrealistic pressures on new 179 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,080 Speaker 2: parents that I think. 180 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 3: Leads to a lot of those those feelings. 181 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:26,079 Speaker 2: The second most common perinatal moon anxiety disorder is generalized 182 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 2: anxiety disorder. This really commonly comes with depression, but it 183 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 2: can be seen without it. So this is about in 184 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 2: seven to ten percent of perinatal people. So the main 185 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 2: thing with generalized anxiety disorder and the perinatal population is 186 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 2: just worry, worry, worry. Did what I ate affect the baby? 187 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 2: Did the baby put this in their mouth? And did 188 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 2: they get germs? And just constant worry. Is the baby 189 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 2: sleeping enough, are they eating enough? Just so much worry 190 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 2: related to the baby, and it often negatively impacts the 191 00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 2: parent's ability to sleep, and sometimes it can really impact functioning. 192 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 1: So what we see in god. 193 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 2: Which is what we call general as anxiety disorder in 194 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:10,080 Speaker 2: or out of pregnancy, is a lot of physical manifestations 195 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 2: so easily fatigued, a lot of pains and tension, and 196 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,320 Speaker 2: that easily fatiguing can make it harder to do our 197 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 2: daily tasks. And then you put on top of that, 198 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:22,560 Speaker 2: you're getting up in the middle of the night with 199 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,679 Speaker 2: a baby. That can really impact functioning. That one is 200 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 2: extremely common and not as much. 201 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 4: Talked about I don't know if this fits, but I'm 202 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 4: thinking about if I'm so worried about making sure the 203 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,960 Speaker 4: baby's okay and I'm doing the right thing and I'm 204 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 4: feeding them the right I'm out. And I mean, there's, 205 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 4: like you said, there's so many readings right now to 206 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 4: develop anxiety around doing the right thing or not doing 207 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 4: the wrong thing because of all the depictions of what 208 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 4: his writers and Rhym's out there. 209 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 1: But if I'm spending so much. 210 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 4: Time investing and trying to be the best version or 211 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:57,560 Speaker 4: do whatever, I am taking away the ability for me 212 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 4: to enjoy time with my child. 213 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 1: No wonder, they go hand in hand. 214 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 4: It's like, well, I can enjoy the good parts because 215 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,439 Speaker 4: I'm so hyper focused on making sure that I am 216 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:08,720 Speaker 4: not going to hurt. 217 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,560 Speaker 1: My child exactly. 218 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 2: It's almost like we're only picturing worst case scenarios and 219 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,599 Speaker 2: that's taking up all the brain. 220 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,959 Speaker 1: Space to enjoy something exactly, not. 221 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 2: Really leaving that space for connection. And that's actually one 222 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 2: of the big things of in the normative rage versus 223 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 2: the non normative. You know, when is it just general worry, 224 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 2: when is it a p mad And one of the 225 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,160 Speaker 2: big things is the ability to. 226 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 3: Bond with the baby. 227 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 2: So is this worry so pervasive that it's getting in 228 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,080 Speaker 2: the way of the connection with the baby, or is 229 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 2: it oh wow, you know, they really did put that 230 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,280 Speaker 2: shoe in their mouth. That what if I stepped in 231 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 2: dog booby that would. 232 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:47,280 Speaker 1: Be so bad. 233 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,720 Speaker 2: Oh whatever, I'll wash it and just hope for the best, 234 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 2: you know, But you can still kind of do your 235 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 2: daily tasks and function and connect. Where it gets in 236 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 2: the way of connection, that's when. 237 00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 1: We really see and like also the of the child. 238 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 4: Right, So, if I'm so worried or there's so much 239 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,959 Speaker 4: or if I don't have the ability because I am 240 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 4: suffering from depression and the symptoms that come with that, 241 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 4: if I don't have the ability to expose my child 242 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,320 Speaker 4: to things that are beneficial for it to thrive. Like, 243 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 4: you know, I hear a lot of parents in and 244 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 4: out of my office talking about you know, spreading germs 245 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 4: and not wanting them, which makes sense with like all 246 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,840 Speaker 4: the COVID stuff that's happened recently too. Is do I 247 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,800 Speaker 4: socialize them or do I keep them away or you know, 248 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 4: not wanting to expose them to another parent's parenting strategy 249 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 4: or is the person that daycare going to do things 250 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,680 Speaker 4: that I want to do that I think are best 251 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:40,199 Speaker 4: for my child, and there's so much to think about. 252 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 4: And if I'm so hyper focused on, you know, making 253 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 4: sure everything is correct in that way, I'm keeping myself 254 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 4: from bonding with the child and I'm also keeping the 255 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:49,319 Speaker 4: child from thriving. 256 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 2: Right right, there's a lot of inhibitory things there, and 257 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 2: this kind of applies to perinatal or not. But that 258 00:12:56,440 --> 00:13:01,440 Speaker 2: rigidity and things are only okay if they're this certain way. 259 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,440 Speaker 2: You know, whether you're pregnant or not, that's really going 260 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,160 Speaker 2: to impact how much joy you can experience in life 261 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 2: because it's like, yeah, if I don't want to catch 262 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 2: a cold, I'm never gonna see my friends or family. 263 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:17,080 Speaker 2: So obviously, when children are young, the parents really control 264 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:17,840 Speaker 2: what they. 265 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 3: Do or don't do. 266 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 2: And obviously some children are a little more out there 267 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:23,600 Speaker 2: and they're going to do things whether the parents want 268 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,560 Speaker 2: them to or not. But you know, if the parents 269 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 2: are saying, no, we're not going to the pool. 270 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 3: Today, the kids aren't going to the pool. 271 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:28,720 Speaker 4: Right. 272 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:34,000 Speaker 2: That's where that impact of functioning and quality of life, 273 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 2: Like that's something I talk a lot about with clients. 274 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 2: Is right now, a diagnosis isn't really that important. 275 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 3: How's your quality of life? Yeah? How full does your 276 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:43,959 Speaker 3: life feel? 277 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 2: Or how kind of myopic has it gotten? 278 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 4: I like that example of if I never want to 279 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,679 Speaker 4: catch a cold, then I'm never going to see my 280 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,960 Speaker 4: friends or family, exactly, if I never want my kid 281 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 4: to get in which is also I'm not a doctor, 282 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 4: but I do know that we have to be exposed 283 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 4: to certain price. But if I don't want them to 284 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,680 Speaker 4: feel any pain or suffering, then I'm also stealing the 285 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 4: ability for them to feel and for myself as well, 286 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 4: to feel the joy and the excitement of this process. 287 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:15,360 Speaker 2: Right right, Because you can't cut off only quote unquote 288 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:16,200 Speaker 2: negative emotions. 289 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:21,840 Speaker 4: I don't really like calling emotions negative or positive, but uncomfortable, Yes, yes, definitely. 290 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 1: So what's the number three? 291 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:33,800 Speaker 2: Yeah? Number three is really similar to goad. So another 292 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 2: thing that I've seen quite often is perinatal OCD. Something 293 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:43,080 Speaker 2: that's so interesting about OCD and the perinatal population is 294 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 2: it's very common for the first episode of OCD to 295 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 2: occur during pregnancy. So this can be a person who's 296 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,480 Speaker 2: never had OCD, never been diagnosed, never. 297 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 3: Really struggled with it. 298 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:59,720 Speaker 2: Maybe they have some anxiety, but never fit the diagnostic criteria. 299 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 2: For a they get pregnant and they have their first 300 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 2: episode of OCD and basically it's like then they just 301 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,960 Speaker 2: have OZD. It's not like just stational diabetes where you 302 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,200 Speaker 2: then give birth and it's like gone, all good. 303 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 1: That was craazy, you know. 304 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 2: Oh, it's a really interesting phenomenon. So with OCD, both 305 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 2: perinatal and not perinatal, to meet that diagnosis, there has 306 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 2: to be both obsessions and compulsions. And a lot of 307 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 2: times people will have generalized anxiety and they think they 308 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 2: have OCD because they have these intrusive thoughts. So that's 309 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 2: really more the obsessions. And in perinatal population, a lot 310 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 2: of the obsessions are around the safety of the baby 311 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 2: and just the well being and you know, any harm 312 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:49,640 Speaker 2: coming to the baby. Compulsions have to be. 313 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 3: Part of it to meet that criteria for OCD. 314 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 2: Very common compulsions in the perinatal population is excessive washing 315 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 2: and cleaning, like you know, talking about that concern for germs. 316 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,600 Speaker 2: You know, if the pacifier falls on the ground, grabbing 317 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 2: it before the baby can get it, washing it, soaking 318 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 2: the toys, and bleach every day, you know, not being 319 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 2: able to relax because you have to clean the floors pristinely. 320 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 2: And another one that's even more common as the technology 321 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 2: gets more and more complex is checking and monitoring. So 322 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 2: we now have these extremely adept technology for monitoring babies, 323 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 2: whether it's like the nannycam, where you can see exactly 324 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,760 Speaker 2: when they got up, how long they got up for, 325 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,200 Speaker 2: if they made noise, if they didn't make noise, and 326 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,280 Speaker 2: it's a video you can watch back all night. 327 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 1: It's like a really clear image you can like, and. 328 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:43,119 Speaker 2: It's connected to your phone. You get push notifications. It's 329 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 2: just like you know, checking poalooza, and it really is. 330 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 1: It's crazy out there. 331 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,560 Speaker 2: But the one that is I think causing more harm 332 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 2: than good is this thing called the outlet. And you know, 333 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,440 Speaker 2: I'm sure there's knockoff ones, but it's this like thing 334 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 2: you put around a baby's ankle and it monitors heart 335 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 2: rate and the amount of false positives on these devices 336 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 2: is through the roof, and so you know, people are 337 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,240 Speaker 2: checking the heart rate all the time, and if you 338 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,679 Speaker 2: think way back to our evolutionary environment, no one's like 339 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 2: checking the pulse of the baby twenty four seven, Like, 340 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:20,000 Speaker 2: we don't actually need this information, and it causes more 341 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:20,880 Speaker 2: distress than good. 342 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,640 Speaker 4: And this is something that like any mom could put 343 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,679 Speaker 4: on their registry. It's not like this is made for 344 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,879 Speaker 4: a child who suffers from this. No, it's like you 345 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:30,919 Speaker 4: should get this and you'll always know your baby's heart right, 346 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,080 Speaker 4: And it sends us the message. I think a lot 347 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 4: of like marketing and products selling, we've talked about this 348 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:41,360 Speaker 4: a lot, is they create a problem for the consumer 349 00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:44,399 Speaker 4: and then we think we need their product to solve 350 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 4: the problem. But I think to your point, what you're 351 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:51,040 Speaker 4: saying is we haven't historically been checking the poses every 352 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 4: ten minutes of our children. So while all of a 353 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 4: sudden do we feel this desire and this need. And 354 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 4: I think that's something for us to think about in 355 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:04,000 Speaker 4: a lot of areas where there's this different technology. I'm 356 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 4: looking at my kitchen right now, so I'm thinking of 357 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,200 Speaker 4: like certain things I have, and yeah, there is there 358 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,399 Speaker 4: are certain things I can buy in my kitchen that 359 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,879 Speaker 4: might make a process more efficient, right, you know, like 360 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 4: those like choppers for vegetables, which I actually I don't 361 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,439 Speaker 4: really like that much because I love the process of 362 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:24,440 Speaker 4: chopping things meditative. Yeah, However, there are other things that 363 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 4: I might purchase or buy, and there's no reason that I, well, 364 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 4: I guess the chopper w could even fall into that. 365 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 1: I didn't really have a problem before. 366 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,880 Speaker 4: Exactly, I'm not in there spending seven hours a day 367 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 4: chopping vegetables, so I don't need this to be more efficient. 368 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,400 Speaker 1: As I can't hang out. 369 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,320 Speaker 2: I got chairs to chop, I got a date with 370 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 2: the chopping block, and I think about, like why did 371 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:45,480 Speaker 2: I buy it? 372 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 1: Like why did I buy that? 373 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,199 Speaker 4: It's because I was sold a message that I've been 374 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 4: spending too much time chopping. 375 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,880 Speaker 1: Vegetables and it's not true. 376 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,240 Speaker 2: And I actually will enjoy chopping vegetables. 377 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 4: So and so weird example, weird tangent. But it's something 378 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,960 Speaker 4: just to think about because this applies to not just 379 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,159 Speaker 4: people and their children and buying a baby monitor is 380 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,920 Speaker 4: we don't always need the newest, in the most extreme, 381 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,160 Speaker 4: in the most expansive product. Like think about the kind 382 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 4: of watches we have now, those have a right it 383 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 4: has this has that Like I have an Apple Watch 384 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,600 Speaker 4: and I stopped using it because I was like, this 385 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 4: is too much information for me, and I just really 386 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:25,919 Speaker 4: needed a GPS tracker. 387 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 1: Yes, it's all I needed. I just needed to know 388 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,480 Speaker 1: the distance of what I was running. I didn't even know. 389 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:33,160 Speaker 4: I didn't need to know anything else, right, And it's 390 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,720 Speaker 4: almost like there's this messaging we give ourselves by getting 391 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:40,119 Speaker 4: the newest fancist product, Like it's like not prestigious, like 392 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 4: the wrong word, but it's like, oh I got the outlet? 393 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,400 Speaker 1: Did you get the islet? And it's like a status 394 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:46,400 Speaker 1: symbol almost yes. 395 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 4: Well, it's like is that helping you or is it 396 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,600 Speaker 4: making you feel higher in status as a mom because 397 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,240 Speaker 4: this mommy blogger had it, and maybe you feel more 398 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:57,000 Speaker 4: like this blogger that you admire or something, right, But 399 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 4: it's actually causing you more distress than it's helping you. 400 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 4: And you did not have a problem that needed to 401 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 4: be solved exactly. 402 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 1: Yeah. 403 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,879 Speaker 2: And honestly, with a lot of these monitoring things, at 404 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,680 Speaker 2: least for parents. 405 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 3: It's more this motivation of fear. 406 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,199 Speaker 1: Like I went on that owl. Yes, I went on 407 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 1: the Alley website the other day and it was like, you. 408 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,679 Speaker 2: Have the safest sleep of your baby's life. 409 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,119 Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh my god, but was the. 410 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:23,480 Speaker 1: Baby's sleeping safe? Yeah? 411 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,639 Speaker 2: Exactly, like we know, you know, you put them on 412 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,640 Speaker 2: their back, no pillars, pillows or blankets. 413 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:28,399 Speaker 3: We got it. 414 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: We got it. 415 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,240 Speaker 2: But that's yeah, it's interesting you say that because something 416 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,960 Speaker 2: that's very common with compulsions and OCD is they provide 417 00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 2: temporary relief like. 418 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 3: Oh, the baby's okay. 419 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 2: I checked, she's breathing, But in the long run, it 420 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 2: increases anxiety. And so it's almost this like positive feedback 421 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 2: loop where like, I have so much anxiety, I have 422 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 2: to check. But because of all this checking, our anxiety 423 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:52,680 Speaker 2: is so high. 424 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 4: When when you get that relief of like oh they're okay, yeah, 425 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 4: you're getting dopamine released in your system, which then encourages 426 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,600 Speaker 4: you to do that thing again. And I think a 427 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 4: lot of people get confused, and I think there's more 428 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 4: to it than what I'm about to explain, but people 429 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:13,040 Speaker 4: just think dopamine is this feel good hormone in your body. 430 00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 4: But it encourages you to repeat patterns. That's what it's doing. 431 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,919 Speaker 4: It's encouraging you. It's like, Okay, that was satisfactory. 432 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,160 Speaker 1: That's checking. That felt good. 433 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,200 Speaker 4: So the dopamine is telling me to do that again. 434 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,119 Speaker 4: And yeah, I can't imagine I would. I was joking 435 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 4: earlier when you were talking about this, that this would 436 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,159 Speaker 4: be like my new social media. 437 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:32,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd be on it all day long. 438 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,440 Speaker 4: If they can tell me all these different things about 439 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 4: my baby, I'd be checking out twenty four to seven. 440 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 4: It's it's like when people with eating disorders become obsessed 441 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,240 Speaker 4: with my finis pal. 442 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 1: It's like that's a whole social media experience. Yes, and 443 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 1: we become obsessed by like, oh, putting this in there, 444 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: my goal and. 445 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 3: Did it and look at it. 446 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 1: It's like we don't actually need to. 447 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:57,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, we don't need all of this information. And there 448 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:01,160 Speaker 4: is a thing called information over load, and we're living 449 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:02,640 Speaker 4: in the world of it right now. 450 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:06,560 Speaker 2: Yes, age of information little too much. Everything in moderation, 451 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 2: including information. 452 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. 453 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 2: Also, this is like kind of irrelevant. But something I 454 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 2: think is so interesting is when we become pregnant, oxytocin 455 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:20,119 Speaker 2: goes up. And oxytocin is actually linked to OCD like symptoms. 456 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:23,879 Speaker 2: So if you think about the infatuation stage of when 457 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:27,639 Speaker 2: you're dating someone new, you're flooded with oxytocin. You're checking 458 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 2: their Instagram, you're checking their text, you're thinking about them NonStop. 459 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 2: So it makes sense that you know, we think about 460 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:38,960 Speaker 2: this more. And actually ninety percent of new moms have 461 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 2: intrusive thoughts. So intrusive thoughts are extremely common, it doesn't 462 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 2: necessarily mean you have OCD. 463 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 1: With OCD, it has. 464 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,719 Speaker 2: To be matched by that compulsion. And then also it 465 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,440 Speaker 2: has to impact functioning and cause severe. 466 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 4: Distress and impact the quality of your life. Josie and 467 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,760 Speaker 4: I talked about this on the episode we did just 468 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 4: about OCD because oh I loved that episode, which I'm 469 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 4: glad people have access to information and they can start 470 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,920 Speaker 4: to understand themselves. But I think as we have given information, 471 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:13,640 Speaker 4: we have over emphasized how like negative for a lack 472 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,000 Speaker 4: of a better word, there something is, and it can 473 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 4: be very normal and not unhealthy to have an intrusive thought. 474 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:27,000 Speaker 4: It's when those thoughts become all consuming. 475 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,120 Speaker 1: We all have intrusive thoughts. 476 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,919 Speaker 4: Like the definition of an intrusive thought is like a 477 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 4: thought that you didn't want to have and you can't 478 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 4: get it to go away. 479 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,879 Speaker 2: Right or it's like yikes, yeah, it's like where did 480 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 2: that come from? 481 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,919 Speaker 4: But that doesn't mean that we had to diagnose you 482 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 4: with a mental health disorder and you have to seek 483 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,680 Speaker 4: treatment for it. However, if it does feel like it's 484 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 4: impacting your equality of life, that's when it's like, okay, 485 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,480 Speaker 4: well maybe this is something a little bit more and 486 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 4: we don't even have to go as far as diagnose 487 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,080 Speaker 4: you with something, just to know that this is something 488 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:57,800 Speaker 4: that you want to work on. But I think speaking 489 00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:01,480 Speaker 4: to that fear mongering part too is I don't ever 490 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:05,520 Speaker 4: want to like fearmonger somebody into thinking that they have 491 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,639 Speaker 4: a problem, and when really it might just be helpful 492 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 4: to hear like, oh, is this something that happens. 493 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:13,119 Speaker 1: I'm not alone, right exactly. 494 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 2: And with intrusive thoughts, the thoughts themselves are not cause 495 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:18,920 Speaker 2: for concern. 496 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,160 Speaker 3: It's our reaction to the thoughts. 497 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,399 Speaker 2: Okay, So what's very common in OCD is this belief 498 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 2: that if I have the thought, this is more likely 499 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 2: to happen. And so in OCD these thoughts are called 500 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 2: ego dystnic, and that means they're not in line with 501 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:40,439 Speaker 2: the person's values, beliefs, wants, behaviors, and ego dystnic thoughts 502 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 2: which are intrusive thoughts in OCD do not at all 503 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,400 Speaker 2: increase the risk of harm to the baby. That can 504 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:51,360 Speaker 2: be really helpful just to know, and also that it's 505 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,959 Speaker 2: the reaction to the thoughts that we see a lot 506 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 2: of the distress. So ninety percent of moms having these thoughts. 507 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 2: Not ninety percent are like, oh my gosh, I just 508 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 2: thought what if I trip while I'm holding the baby 509 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,360 Speaker 2: walking down the stairs. Now I can only go down 510 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,440 Speaker 2: the stairs siding down on my butt like this happens. 511 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,960 Speaker 2: Other people are like, whoa crazy? The just pictures falling 512 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 2: down the stairs. Hope that doesn't happen, right anyways, to 513 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 2: the kitchen to chop my carrots for seven hours. 514 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:25,359 Speaker 1: They probably have the vegetable shopper to chop my character. 515 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:35,359 Speaker 1: That was funny. Have we gotten through to five? No, 516 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 1: theres three? That was three. 517 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 2: The next one is panic disorder. This is less common. 518 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,119 Speaker 2: This is about one to five percent of people. A 519 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,200 Speaker 2: big thing of this is feeling like you're gonna die 520 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 2: or feeling like you're going crazy. The thing that's specific 521 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:53,280 Speaker 2: to the perinatal population is in panic disorder. There's a 522 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,640 Speaker 2: lot of fear of feeling out of control, and when 523 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,320 Speaker 2: you're pregnant or have a baby, so. 524 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 3: Much is out of your control. 525 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,320 Speaker 2: So a lot of the work there is can we 526 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:08,120 Speaker 2: build tolerance to the discomfort of being out of control? 527 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 2: Can we build our tolerance for uncertainty for the lack 528 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,480 Speaker 2: of control. And then the last one here is PTSD. 529 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,320 Speaker 2: This is more common, this isn't about six to ten 530 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 2: percent of perinatal people, so PTSD. Thing that is required 531 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,720 Speaker 2: for that diagnosis is an event that threatened the life 532 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,800 Speaker 2: of the person. So in the population, this would be 533 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,520 Speaker 2: of the mom or the baby. Something that's important is 534 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:32,920 Speaker 2: that this includes. 535 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,000 Speaker 3: The perceived threat. 536 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 2: So something that's sadly common is doctors being very disrespectful 537 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,840 Speaker 2: to people who are going through birth, not listening to them, 538 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:48,080 Speaker 2: not taking in their feelings or you know, their experience 539 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:52,200 Speaker 2: and that feeling of out of control and that lack 540 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 2: of autonomy that can really cause you know, some PTSD 541 00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 2: for people. Another thing that's common is in women who 542 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 2: have a history of sexual assault while they're giving birth, 543 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,639 Speaker 2: they get these exams and so you might be lying 544 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 2: in the. 545 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,240 Speaker 3: Position that the sexual assault occurred in. 546 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,399 Speaker 2: You have this man coming in, you know, all up 547 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:16,200 Speaker 2: in your business, maybe not even asking who knows, they're 548 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,160 Speaker 2: not explaining things as they do that, yes exactly, maybe 549 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 2: not listening to you. That can really cause some lasting effects. 550 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:26,240 Speaker 2: So letting these people know that was a really hard situation. 551 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,440 Speaker 2: Maybe working on the trauma that happened before, maybe working 552 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,160 Speaker 2: through the birth trauma. That can be a big part 553 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:33,720 Speaker 2: of treatment. 554 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 4: You know, what's coming up for me is when you 555 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,960 Speaker 4: said like perceived threat, I thought that was really important 556 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,440 Speaker 4: because I've never been pregnant or try to get pregnant 557 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:48,600 Speaker 4: or had a baby. But I imagine that there sometimes is 558 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 4: a lack of going off of what you just said explanation, 559 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,879 Speaker 4: and it almost feels like there's especially in these days, 560 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 4: there's a lack of autonomy and a lack of choice. 561 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,359 Speaker 4: And sometimes it doesn't have to be even in like 562 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,119 Speaker 4: the actual process of birth that I do know that, 563 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,000 Speaker 4: and I've heard stories from a couple of friends where 564 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 4: it feels like something happens during the delivery and you're 565 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,680 Speaker 4: not given a choice and you don't really know what's 566 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,600 Speaker 4: going on, and you just have to listen to this 567 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,159 Speaker 4: person and hope that they're doing the right thing. And 568 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,960 Speaker 4: for some people that might not affect them, but depending 569 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 4: on who you are and your experiences and what you 570 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,720 Speaker 4: know about people and how people have treated you in 571 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:27,320 Speaker 4: the past, that can be so scary, even if you 572 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 4: end up being totally okay, And that's such a vulnerable experience. 573 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,800 Speaker 4: I mean, going to the gynecologists and getting a past 574 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:39,800 Speaker 4: mirror is so vulnerable. And I've noticed recently how I 575 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:45,120 Speaker 4: don't know the descriptive my gynecologist is. I mean, every 576 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,240 Speaker 4: blink of an eye, she's telling me what she's doing. 577 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 4: And I love it because I'm like, oh, this is great, 578 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,560 Speaker 4: Like I don't have to be surprised. But I am 579 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 4: comparing that to now experiences that the dentist or something 580 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 4: like that, where that you get a shot in your 581 00:28:59,120 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 4: mouth and you're like, I. 582 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:00,880 Speaker 1: Didn't know where that was coming from. 583 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 4: And I think they do that because they don't want 584 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 4: you to be like freaking out about it, and they 585 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,400 Speaker 4: think they can catch you off guard. I don't want that, 586 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,200 Speaker 4: and I probably don't want that when you're like, I 587 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 4: mean this very compromising, vulnerable position. And maybe this depending 588 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,320 Speaker 4: on what this pregnancy has been like, maybe depending on 589 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 4: what my sexual partners have been like or unchosen. 590 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,120 Speaker 1: Sexual partners have been like. 591 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,480 Speaker 4: And I think the reason I'm going on this tangent 592 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 4: here is people minimize their experiences so much where they 593 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 4: might think, well, nobody did anything to me, or yeah, 594 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,680 Speaker 4: my doctor was a jerk, but he didn't hurt me, 595 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,440 Speaker 4: or yeah I had to end up having to see section, 596 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 4: even though I wanted a vaginal delivery. But everything was fine, 597 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,200 Speaker 4: and maybe I never thought I was gonna die, but 598 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,400 Speaker 4: at one point you had no idea what was going 599 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:52,080 Speaker 4: to happen. And part of me even wonders when people 600 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 4: are like, yeah, but like whatever, it's like, well, what 601 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 4: encourage you to turn off that part of your body 602 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,200 Speaker 4: that is like, I should be allowed to know what's 603 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:03,600 Speaker 4: going on. I should be allowed to be afraid right now. 604 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,880 Speaker 4: And so the trauma could be something that you have 605 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 4: even locked up and not allowed yourself to acknowledge. And 606 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,800 Speaker 4: I'm not saying this to everybody has trauma, but I'm 607 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,480 Speaker 4: saying this because I think so many people don't get 608 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:20,840 Speaker 4: the healing they deserve because they don't allow themselves to 609 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 4: have ever been hurt or scared or sad or traumatized 610 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:26,080 Speaker 4: right right. 611 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,240 Speaker 2: And that makes me think of One of my favorite 612 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,280 Speaker 2: books is The Myth of Normal by doctor Gobormatte. One 613 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,920 Speaker 2: of the things he talks about is the biggest predictor 614 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,360 Speaker 2: of if people have, you know, a traumatic birth experience 615 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:41,080 Speaker 2: or not, is the sense of autonomy. So he gave 616 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:44,680 Speaker 2: these two examples, and one was this woman who she 617 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 2: had a C section, but then she wanted her next 618 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,880 Speaker 2: bort to be vaginal. It's called a v back vaginal 619 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:53,760 Speaker 2: birth after C section, and that's actually safe. A lot 620 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,320 Speaker 2: of doctors think that's not safe. 621 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,240 Speaker 1: I think that's a myth that a lot of people 622 00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:58,560 Speaker 1: are like, you're not allowed to do that. 623 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,720 Speaker 2: Yes, and a lot of doctors are like, Nope, you're 624 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 2: not allowed. And it's like, well, actually, the research shows 625 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 2: it's it's safe to have a vback if the situation. 626 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:06,720 Speaker 3: Allows for one. 627 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 2: So this one really wanted a V back and the 628 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 2: doctor was like, no, absolutely not, We're doing a C 629 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:14,800 Speaker 2: section no, and basically gave her no choice in the matter. 630 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 3: And her ob along the way was like, oh, what, 631 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,400 Speaker 3: your baby's gonna be huge. You have to we have. 632 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 2: To induce you or do a sea section, and she's 633 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,000 Speaker 2: like doing these like basically, when you have an ultrasound, 634 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,320 Speaker 2: they can like guess how big the child is, but 635 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:34,959 Speaker 2: they are known for being wildly off and inaccurate. And 636 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,440 Speaker 2: this woman was like, well, doesn't the research show that, 637 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,200 Speaker 2: you know, these growth things like aren't always that spot 638 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 2: on And she's like, no, your baby's massive. So then 639 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 2: like they don't allow her to have a vback. They 640 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:52,719 Speaker 2: eventually have a sea section, and the ob who was like, 641 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:56,080 Speaker 2: your baby's huge, she afterwards was like, oh my god, 642 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:58,000 Speaker 2: you it's so much abdominal muscle. 643 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 3: It was so hard to cut through. 644 00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 2: And the woman was like, well, you know that I've 645 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:05,000 Speaker 2: done pilateius for twenty years. I've told you this multiple times, 646 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 2: Like why are you surprised that I have abdominal muscles? 647 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,640 Speaker 2: And then the baby ended up being like six pounds, 648 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:13,600 Speaker 2: Oh my god, and the woman was like, that's crazy. 649 00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 2: I thought he was gonna be humongous. And she was like, okay, 650 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:20,320 Speaker 2: I told you that. So that woman did develop PTSD. 651 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,239 Speaker 2: Then the other story that doctor Goo Bormante gives is 652 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,640 Speaker 2: this woman who really wanted to have a vaginal birth 653 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:29,040 Speaker 2: went into labor. 654 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:30,360 Speaker 3: Her doctors were really. 655 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,880 Speaker 2: Kind listened to her, let her know, Hey, this thing 656 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 2: is going on. We've waited this long, we've really tried this, 657 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,920 Speaker 2: we're worried about this. The safest thing for you and 658 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,320 Speaker 2: the baby is to have a C section. Fully explain 659 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:45,120 Speaker 2: the situation why they were doing that, gave the vaginal 660 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 2: birth a shot. She was like, okay, I get it. 661 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,040 Speaker 2: You know I wanted this one thing, but things are 662 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:54,560 Speaker 2: different looking back. Wonderful birth experience had only good things 663 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,600 Speaker 2: to say because she felt listened to and like she 664 00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,400 Speaker 2: had a choice. So that sense of autonomy is a 665 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 2: really big peace. And it's like, yeah, you know, you 666 00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:05,880 Speaker 2: and the baby are okay, But did you feel respected? 667 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,560 Speaker 2: Did you feel like you had to say? Did you 668 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,680 Speaker 2: feel listened to? Did you feel valued in that moment? 669 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,040 Speaker 2: Those things are really important, you. 670 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:15,600 Speaker 1: Know, I had experienced recently. 671 00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:18,680 Speaker 4: I went to see a physical therapist and they got 672 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,800 Speaker 4: out this like why do I want to say diagram 673 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,440 Speaker 4: like a yeah, like a tottel as a model of 674 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 4: a body, and was explaining to me how all these 675 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,320 Speaker 4: different muscles works and how this is connected to that 676 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:33,000 Speaker 4: and when you do this thing, this happens. And it 677 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 4: was incredible and I feel like I learned more in 678 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:38,800 Speaker 4: that physical therapy session talking to the physical therapists than 679 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:40,480 Speaker 4: I did in like any anatomy. 680 00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 1: Class I've ever taken. 681 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,640 Speaker 4: And I left there and I think I said this 682 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:45,760 Speaker 4: the next time I saw her, why don't I know 683 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:47,400 Speaker 4: that about my body? 684 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 1: Like, why don't I know that that's a term? 685 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:50,000 Speaker 2: Right? 686 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 4: Why is this the first time I'm hearing this? And 687 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 4: she was like it's a great question. Yeah, and part 688 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,680 Speaker 4: of why she does what she does. I can only 689 00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 4: speak from my experience of being a woman, but they're 690 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:00,800 Speaker 4: so so many parts. 691 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 1: Of my body that are a mystery to me. 692 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:07,640 Speaker 4: Oh yes, And having a professional sit down and not 693 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,760 Speaker 4: just be like, Okay, we're gonna work on this today. 694 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:13,160 Speaker 4: Move your leg, do this and stand up, bend over, 695 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:18,200 Speaker 4: squeeze this muscle, like she explained every single detail of 696 00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,759 Speaker 4: why using this part of my leg is going to 697 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:24,240 Speaker 4: affect this part of my body. And having the doctor 698 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:28,320 Speaker 4: talk to that woman about the birthing process. I can't 699 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:32,399 Speaker 4: imagine how helpful that under I want to understand. 700 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 1: I assume there's some people that are like, well, I 701 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,440 Speaker 1: don't want to know. That's the really fine, But having 702 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,000 Speaker 1: the choice to understand. 703 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 4: Your body feels like it's a new privilege that women 704 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,959 Speaker 4: are getting. This should be the standard. Yeah, you should 705 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,719 Speaker 4: have a choice to understand, and then you still should 706 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,600 Speaker 4: be able to decide what you want to do. Now 707 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,000 Speaker 4: you're going to do something that is going to harm yourself, 708 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,400 Speaker 4: and we think you're making that decision out of an 709 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:57,320 Speaker 4: inability to make a choice for yourself. 710 00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:58,920 Speaker 1: We can intervene in that space. 711 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,480 Speaker 4: But if somebody making a choice that I don't agree 712 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,319 Speaker 4: with because of my own bias, that's not for me 713 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:09,280 Speaker 4: to decide as a professional working with something exactly exactly. 714 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:14,040 Speaker 2: And this makes me think of something that I highly 715 00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:17,480 Speaker 2: recommend for all the clients I work with, if it 716 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,920 Speaker 2: is within their financial means, is to get a doula 717 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,400 Speaker 2: for their birth experience. So women who work with dulas 718 00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:29,520 Speaker 2: have lower rates of pain, shorter labors, less use of potocin, 719 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,680 Speaker 2: less people use epidural blocks. 720 00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:31,920 Speaker 4: I have. 721 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,640 Speaker 1: I'm so pro epidural block. 722 00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:37,520 Speaker 2: Let me make that clear, and overall, just a better experience. 723 00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:41,000 Speaker 2: And this is especially true for women of color. The 724 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 2: death rates of black women giving birth in this country 725 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:49,600 Speaker 2: are heinous, and most of these deaths are preventable. And 726 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,640 Speaker 2: having a doula there who's there to like advocate for you. 727 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,359 Speaker 2: They've been there, they know what's going on. They can 728 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,160 Speaker 2: explain things. And you know, if the doctor's coming in 729 00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,759 Speaker 2: and he's like, oh, you have to lie on your 730 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,640 Speaker 2: back because you had an epidural, you know, the dula 731 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,759 Speaker 2: can be like, well, actually that's not true. You know, 732 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,879 Speaker 2: if you'd like to be on your side, you can 733 00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,279 Speaker 2: be on your side. If you'd like to be on 734 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,080 Speaker 2: your hands and knees, you can do that as well, 735 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,640 Speaker 2: and kind of giving like you said, more options and 736 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:16,440 Speaker 2: more choice and more information. I think dulas are great, 737 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,400 Speaker 2: and they work with you before the birth too, so 738 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:23,560 Speaker 2: there's more attention and care and you know the mom 739 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:26,759 Speaker 2: matters too, and oftentimes they'll even come after and see 740 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,239 Speaker 2: how the feeding's going and see how you're doing. And 741 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 2: I can't recommend dula's enough. They're really great. 742 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,319 Speaker 4: What I hear in that is having that allows you 743 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:39,719 Speaker 4: to make a decision versus just like follow orders. Yeah, 744 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,880 Speaker 4: like being told Yeah, I feel like part of me 745 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:44,719 Speaker 4: is like making out doctors to be bad people. I 746 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:48,000 Speaker 4: don't yeah, saying that, I sometimes you don't know the 747 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,080 Speaker 4: questions to ask, and it's like I even said this 748 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,000 Speaker 4: to you, I don't really have a list of questions 749 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:53,880 Speaker 4: to ask you because I don't know what questions to 750 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,760 Speaker 4: ask and we'll just see what packs out. So sometimes 751 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,200 Speaker 4: when I'm given information, I don't even know that there 752 00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,680 Speaker 4: should be a fight a question or there could be 753 00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:04,279 Speaker 4: a follow up question, right, And that has nothing to 754 00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:07,360 Speaker 4: do with the doctor being good or bad. It's about 755 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,440 Speaker 4: again going back to like we don't know these Yes. 756 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:13,000 Speaker 2: And I learned that birthing position thing from my good 757 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,120 Speaker 2: friend Emma. Shout out Emma. She's a labor and delivery nurse. 758 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:20,040 Speaker 2: She like really advocates for her patients. She's amazing. And 759 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 2: I was like, wait, are you not paralyzed from the 760 00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:24,360 Speaker 2: waste out after an epidural? 761 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,040 Speaker 3: And she was like, are you kidding me? 762 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:27,800 Speaker 1: Does that what you think? 763 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,239 Speaker 2: So there's really like, like you said, it's like we 764 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,680 Speaker 2: don't know what we don't know. So having someone around 765 00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,239 Speaker 2: who knows the things that we didn't even think to 766 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,320 Speaker 2: think about and then give us those choices and advocate 767 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:41,799 Speaker 2: for us can go a long way. 768 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:43,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I just want to touch. 769 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:44,320 Speaker 1: Really really quickly. 770 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:48,680 Speaker 2: This is super rare. It's called postpartum psychosis. So this 771 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,720 Speaker 2: only happens in about one to two in one thousand women, 772 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,920 Speaker 2: but it happens in about one in four women with 773 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:58,240 Speaker 2: a history of bipolar and about fifty percent in women 774 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,960 Speaker 2: with a history of bipolar and a family. 775 00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:01,600 Speaker 3: History of bipolar. 776 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:05,800 Speaker 2: So this is a break from reality. So it's really 777 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:11,440 Speaker 2: common to experience delusions hallucinations, and this is considered a 778 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:16,400 Speaker 2: medical emergency, a psychiatric emergency because their thoughts are ego 779 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:21,720 Speaker 2: syntonic and that means they are in line with their beliefs, wants, behaviors, 780 00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:26,360 Speaker 2: and the risk for suicide and infanticide are extremely high 781 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:31,200 Speaker 2: in postpartum psychosis, so this like requires immediate hospitalization. And 782 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:32,920 Speaker 2: I just kind of wanted to touch on that. Just 783 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:36,879 Speaker 2: if someone has a history of bipolar schizophrenia, to talk 784 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:40,400 Speaker 2: with a perinatal psychiatrist, talk with your ob because the 785 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:44,160 Speaker 2: risk is pretty high of postpartum psychosis. But other than 786 00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,800 Speaker 2: you know, having that history extremely rare when. 787 00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:49,920 Speaker 4: That goes into you said earlier about like screening, like 788 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:53,759 Speaker 4: your medical professional should be asking certain questions just to 789 00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,920 Speaker 4: know what to look for, and sometimes if they're not 790 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:59,160 Speaker 4: asking that, this is giving information of advocate for yourself. 791 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:00,240 Speaker 1: Yes, bring this up. 792 00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:01,680 Speaker 4: We don't have a lot of time left, and we'll 793 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,799 Speaker 4: obviously have you on again because there's a million things 794 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,600 Speaker 4: that come up when we're talking about this, but I 795 00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:10,680 Speaker 4: want to hear a little bit from your perspective for 796 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:14,400 Speaker 4: somebody who's listening to this and who maybe is experiencing 797 00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,400 Speaker 4: some of these or is thinking about maybe trying to 798 00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:20,399 Speaker 4: conceive or thinking about thinking about trying to conceive, who 799 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,520 Speaker 4: might be this could be in this position in the future. 800 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,560 Speaker 4: Why do you think it's helpful to seek a therapist 801 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:28,680 Speaker 4: like you who is trained in this area versus just 802 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:32,760 Speaker 4: seeking any therapist who could be I mean generally helpful. 803 00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:35,600 Speaker 2: A few things come to mind here, but in my experience, 804 00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:41,600 Speaker 2: sharing information of how normal it is to experience distress 805 00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:46,840 Speaker 2: and struggles and feeling alone can help so much, like 806 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:51,000 Speaker 2: just knowing that maternal preoccupation, which is this thinking about 807 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,200 Speaker 2: the baby, thinking about the safety so normal, you know, 808 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:58,360 Speaker 2: parenthood is not easy. Just normalizing that distress goes a 809 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:02,520 Speaker 2: long way. But also there's other approaches that people have 810 00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:06,160 Speaker 2: found very helpful, such as creating a postpartum care plan. 811 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,040 Speaker 2: So this is kind of like how much sleep do 812 00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:11,640 Speaker 2: you need to function? How can you get healthy meals? 813 00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:12,360 Speaker 1: How can we. 814 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:15,880 Speaker 2: Distribute the chores, what is your physical recovery going to 815 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,719 Speaker 2: look like? What's your policy on visitors. We do a 816 00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:23,880 Speaker 2: lot of work of boundary setting because maybe oh, you know, 817 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,080 Speaker 2: I'll let this slide, let this slide, But now that 818 00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,359 Speaker 2: like there's a baby in the mix, I can't really 819 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:29,800 Speaker 2: let as many things slide. 820 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,399 Speaker 4: When I hear on what you're saying too, you're going 821 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,879 Speaker 4: to be more in tune to thinking about things that 822 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:38,239 Speaker 4: the average therapists wouldn't really be thinking about. And I 823 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:41,400 Speaker 4: think about, like working with eating disorders. There's questions that 824 00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,640 Speaker 4: I asked that some clients that have never been asked before, 825 00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:45,799 Speaker 4: or there's things that I bring up that like this 826 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,440 Speaker 4: might be a concern that they're like, huh what that. 827 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,600 Speaker 4: The only reason I know that is because this is 828 00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,560 Speaker 4: what I work with exam and day out. And you're saying, 829 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:56,839 Speaker 4: like creating these different plans, another therapist might not ever 830 00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,799 Speaker 4: think about that, especially if they haven't been in that 831 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:03,800 Speaker 4: space before themselves. You also were talking about earlier before 832 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:07,720 Speaker 4: we started recording, about making sure you get protective sleep 833 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:13,160 Speaker 4: and dividing up different jobs or tasks that some therapists 834 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,200 Speaker 4: might not ever think that that would be an option 835 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,120 Speaker 4: or something to advocate for, so you can advocate for 836 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,640 Speaker 4: your clients in a different way exactly. 837 00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:25,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, And you brought up protected sleep. Protected sleep is 838 00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:29,120 Speaker 2: when somebody else is on everything duty. They're on baby duty, 839 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,080 Speaker 2: they're on you know, if there's dishes that need to 840 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,840 Speaker 2: be done, they're doing that, basically taking care of everything 841 00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,840 Speaker 2: so that mom can sleep and get some quality sleep. 842 00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,799 Speaker 3: Because sleep is very much so tied to mental health. 843 00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:44,400 Speaker 2: It's tied to anxiety, depression, emotional regulation, emotional intelligence, so 844 00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 2: it's a really important piece here. But yeah, like you said, 845 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:51,440 Speaker 2: it's just like knowing what questions to ask, knowing solutions 846 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,920 Speaker 2: that are out of the norm, Like I wouldn't just 847 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:57,440 Speaker 2: be asking like a random single woman like who can 848 00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,600 Speaker 2: we get to do your laundry today? And it's like, 849 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:01,440 Speaker 2: shouldn't I be doing that? 850 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,400 Speaker 1: Why are you asking me that? Exactly? 851 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,919 Speaker 2: And having this information to normalize is huge, But also 852 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,760 Speaker 2: a big part of healing from a PMAT is building 853 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:15,080 Speaker 2: a care team so we might know more information about 854 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,600 Speaker 2: medication and pregnancy, and we can work with a perinatal 855 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,040 Speaker 2: psychiatrist and we can work with a duela and. 856 00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:21,560 Speaker 1: You'll have resources too. 857 00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:26,719 Speaker 4: Being connected to resources, it's almost like taking one more 858 00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,440 Speaker 4: roadblock away from the clients. Like if I have to 859 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,520 Speaker 4: go and find all of those things myself, that's such 860 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:34,440 Speaker 4: a big, so much work, and I'm probably not going 861 00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:36,960 Speaker 4: to do it, yeah, because it might feel too hard. 862 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:38,160 Speaker 1: And because it is too hard. 863 00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:41,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, And you'll have a list of resources and people 864 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,920 Speaker 4: that you trust, then I can because I trust you, 865 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:46,920 Speaker 4: I can allow myself to trust this person. 866 00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:50,000 Speaker 2: Yes, take some of that off the to do list. Yeah, 867 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,279 Speaker 2: so that's a big part of it. Another thing that 868 00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,600 Speaker 2: I find really interesting is kind of exploring what was 869 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,600 Speaker 2: the person's relationship, like with their parents, what was their 870 00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:02,000 Speaker 2: childhood about, because what we've see in this population is 871 00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:03,800 Speaker 2: there's a lot that. 872 00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:05,960 Speaker 3: We can sweep under the rug, you know when we. 873 00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:09,480 Speaker 2: Don't have kids, but when we're then the parent and 874 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,600 Speaker 2: we're it's put into perspective maybe what happened to us 875 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:17,920 Speaker 2: when we were kids it is impossible to ignore. So 876 00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:19,920 Speaker 2: that's a lot of the work too, is you know, 877 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:24,080 Speaker 2: healing from that childhood trauma, maybe neglect or abuse. 878 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,040 Speaker 3: So that's a big part of it as well. 879 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,840 Speaker 4: Okay, well we are going to have you back because 880 00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,080 Speaker 4: I I didn't have a list of questions and now 881 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:32,040 Speaker 4: I have a lot of questions. 882 00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:34,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, And anybody who is. 883 00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,680 Speaker 4: Listening to this and is and has questions, again, like 884 00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:38,960 Speaker 4: I said in the beginning, please send them to me 885 00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,879 Speaker 4: Katherine at you Need Therapy podcast dot com. And then 886 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:45,399 Speaker 4: also if you live in the state of Tennessee, it's 887 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,120 Speaker 4: a very important part state of Tennessee, and you are 888 00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:51,040 Speaker 4: listening to this and you have been looking for somebody 889 00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:55,080 Speaker 4: like Bridget to help you along your own journey. You 890 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,279 Speaker 4: can connect with her by going to our website three 891 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,600 Speaker 4: Quartstherapy dot com and you can send her a message 892 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:03,960 Speaker 4: on her page. You can send it on the general page, 893 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:08,760 Speaker 4: or you can email her directly Bridget at three Courtstherapy 894 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:12,120 Speaker 4: dot com and I will put a link to that stuff. 895 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:16,160 Speaker 4: There's always a link to my email and the Three 896 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:19,160 Speaker 4: Chord Therapy website, but if we'll put your email in 897 00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:20,880 Speaker 4: there as well. If you guys, that takes one more 898 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:25,080 Speaker 4: step out of the process. But please, please please reach out. 899 00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:27,680 Speaker 4: Even if it feels like, oh, I don't know if 900 00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:29,960 Speaker 4: she'll be able to help me, it's worth it to ask. Yeah, 901 00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,600 Speaker 4: Like I said, I'm so happy that we have somebody 902 00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,879 Speaker 4: like you on our team. I obviously love the idea 903 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,560 Speaker 4: of having a specialized practice, but I also love the 904 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,239 Speaker 4: idea of being able to help a diverse. 905 00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,520 Speaker 2: Yeah people, I love this population. 906 00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,560 Speaker 4: I get to learn from you just as much as 907 00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,480 Speaker 4: you might think you're going to learn from other people reports. 908 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,680 Speaker 4: So if you guys have any questions, send those and 909 00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:57,040 Speaker 4: if you want to follow us. Although the podcast Instagram 910 00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,960 Speaker 4: has been a little bit dormant, if you've not noticed 911 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:04,040 Speaker 4: because my social media, a person who was Julia moved 912 00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:07,279 Speaker 4: on and so I'm now trying to take that back over. 913 00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:09,000 Speaker 4: But it's taken me a second to get used to that. 914 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,800 Speaker 4: You can follow us anyway at you Need Therapy Podcasts, 915 00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:15,000 Speaker 4: and you can follow three Chords Therapy at three Chords Therapy, 916 00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:18,720 Speaker 4: and you can follow me at cat dot Defada until 917 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:20,040 Speaker 4: Wednesday when we have couch checks. 918 00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:22,080 Speaker 1: Hope you guys have the day you need to have 919 00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:22,919 Speaker 1: fight