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Speaker 1: Well, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and just click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading

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Speaker 1: your own letter right here, live this one right here

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Speaker 1: on the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Okay, so let's go

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Speaker 1: buck it up. Hold on time. We got it for you.

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Speaker 1: Here it is Rawlberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. This one

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Speaker 1: says the subject, my wife is way too relaxed now,

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married for twenty four years,

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Speaker 1: and my marriage started out great. My wife was beautiful

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Speaker 1: and kept herself up, and that was what attracted me

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Speaker 1: to her. We started a business together after we got married,

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Speaker 1: and it was hugely successful, mostly because of my wife's sacrifices.

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Speaker 1: She started putting the business in front of our fans,

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Speaker 1: and she neglected a lot of her responsibilities to me

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Speaker 1: and her children. As the years went by. My wife

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Speaker 1: also failed to be intimate with me and we went

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Speaker 1: for almost a year without sex. I should say that

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Speaker 1: she went a year without sex because I ended up

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Speaker 1: getting my needs met by another woman. Which resulted in

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Speaker 1: me having an outside child. This shook my wife to

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Speaker 1: the core, and it was a wake up call for her. Temporarily,

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Speaker 1: she vowed to be more present with me and make

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Speaker 1: sex a priority. Well, now that she has changed her

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Speaker 1: schedule and is paying more attention to me, she has

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Speaker 1: really started to let herself go. She is home for

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Speaker 1: most of the day now, and when I get home,

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Speaker 1: she's still in her pajamas, which aren't very sexy, and

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Speaker 1: she hasn't done her hair or showered. Some days, she

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Speaker 1: does not clean up often, and she rarely cooks. We

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Speaker 1: will be watching TV and a sexy woman will come

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Speaker 1: on the screen and she will look over at me

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Speaker 1: to see my reaction, and sometimes she comments, there's your

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Speaker 1: type of girl or a woman right there. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what's going on with her, but she's way to relax,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm married to one of my buddies.

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Speaker 1: I want my sexy, ambitious wife back, but I do

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Speaker 1: feel a certain amount of guilt for turning her into

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Speaker 1: someone different. How can I fix my marriage and get

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Speaker 1: my wife back to normal? Help me? Well, I'm glad

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Speaker 1: you said that that you feel a certain amount of

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Speaker 1: guilt because you should feel a certain amount of guilt

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Speaker 1: and mister selfish because you just talk about, you know,

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Speaker 1: the things your wife doesn't do for you in this letter.

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Speaker 1: I don't see anywhere in here where you, you know,

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Speaker 1: feel what your wife has gone through the You mentioned

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Speaker 1: the word sacrifice, but what she has put into building

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Speaker 1: your business and making it successful. You said it was

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Speaker 1: hugely because of her. I mean, you know it's you

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Speaker 1: wrote the letter from how it makes you feel. And

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Speaker 1: that's just a selfish way to look at this. And yes,

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Speaker 1: take a lot of responsibility and guilt for changing your

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Speaker 1: wife in this situation. You had an outside child. I mean,

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Speaker 1: come on, really, I mean to me, your wife needs

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Speaker 1: to get back to work. She was in her element

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Speaker 1: when she was building the business and making those kind

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Speaker 1: of sacrifices. She had purpose, she had a reason to live.

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Speaker 1: She was thriving. You know, she was being herself. She

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Speaker 1: was doing what she loved. I think the issue here

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Speaker 1: is besides you, is your wife didn't have a balance.

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Speaker 1: You know a lot of there are a lot of

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Speaker 1: working women who keep it together and do all those

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Speaker 1: things you know, and and still have sex with their husbands.

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Speaker 1: But your wife seems like an all or nothing person.

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Speaker 1: She put all she had into the business, building the business,

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Speaker 1: and then you know when she came home, she didn't

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Speaker 1: have a lot to give I suppose, So you know,

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Speaker 1: those were two extremes. So her sweet spot needs to be,

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Speaker 1: you know, finding that balance where she can work and

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Speaker 1: do her thing, because she's got to work, because that

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Speaker 1: gives her life, that gives her energy. She she loves

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Speaker 1: doing that. That's where she can be who she is.

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Speaker 1: And and then you know, trying to make your marriage work.

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Speaker 1: But it's not a problem just for your wife. You

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Speaker 1: have a lot, a lot lot to do with this situation.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't even seem like you were really helping her

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Speaker 1: in the business that much. You know, you said it

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Speaker 1: was mostly because of her. I keep saying that because

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Speaker 1: of her sacrifices. What did you do? What did you sacrifice?

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Speaker 1: You know? Can you cook? Can you clean? Can you

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Speaker 1: hire somebody to do these things? I mean it sounds

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Speaker 1: like your wife was doing everything and you're just sitting

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Speaker 1: back being critical of what she's not doing for you. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, if you want this marriage to work, I

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Speaker 1: think you're going to have to make some sacrifices. Now,

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Speaker 1: you know, that's what. I think you need to make

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Speaker 1: some sacrifices and let your wife know how much you

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Speaker 1: appreciate her and the things that she did for the

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Speaker 1: business and for this marriage. I mean, she's only one person.

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Speaker 1: She can't do it all. Steve, you're the problem. Upset

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Speaker 1: with this guy. You know you've been married twenty four years.

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Speaker 1: No marriage is the same after twenty four years. Same

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Speaker 1: thing it took to get your babyhooked, it's gonna take

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Speaker 1: the same thing to keep her. Somebody stopped doing something,

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Speaker 1: and I think it was both of y'all. My wife

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Speaker 1: was beautiful and kept herself up, and that's what attracted me.

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Speaker 1: We started a business together after we got married, and

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Speaker 1: it was hugely successful, mostly because of my wife's sacrifices.

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Speaker 1: Did you hear what you just typed? You all started

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Speaker 1: a business together and it was hugely successful, And you

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Speaker 1: said mostly because of my wife's sacrifices, meaning she gave

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Speaker 1: up and put in the most to make the business work.

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Speaker 1: She started putting the business in front of our family,

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Speaker 1: and she neglected a lot of her responsibility to me

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Speaker 1: and our children over the years as it went by.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, so now now you building a case for

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Speaker 1: writing a letter. You said she sacrificed to hugely build

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Speaker 1: a business, which means she did more than you. And

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Speaker 1: then you say she started putting the business in front

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Speaker 1: of your family and then elected a lot of her

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Speaker 1: responsibility to me and our children. Now you want the

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Speaker 1: business build, You want the money. That sounds like some

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Speaker 1: a man would say to a woman. Now you want

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Speaker 1: me to build his business bringing his money home feed

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Speaker 1: You had he gross it up in here. You want

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Speaker 1: me sitting around the house watching TV with you all,

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Speaker 1: but you got the script flipped on you. When I

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Speaker 1: come back, I'm gonna tell you what else it's wrong.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, thank you. We'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour,

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Speaker 1: subject my wife is way to relax. Now we'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening to Harvey

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Speaker 1: Morning Show. Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: Subject my wife is wayne to relax Now, Well, she's

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Speaker 1: relaxed her. You and your wife been married twenty four years.

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Speaker 1: Ain't nothing the same after twenty four years. My wife

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Speaker 1: was beautiful and kept herself up, and this was attracted

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Speaker 1: me to her. Now, let me make a statement, sir,

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Speaker 1: I promise you you don't look like you did twenty

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Speaker 1: four years ago. I give you my word on that.

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Speaker 1: I promise you you don't look just like you did

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Speaker 1: twenty four years ago. We started the business together, we

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Speaker 1: got married. It was hugely successful, mostly because of my

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Speaker 1: wife's sacrifices. Okay, so you admitted that your wife gave

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Speaker 1: up the most and did the most. It was her success,

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Speaker 1: her sacrifices, that made the business huge. She started putting

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Speaker 1: it now here where you started building the case for

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Speaker 1: writing a letter say I know when me and making turn.

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Speaker 1: She started putting the business in front of our family,

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Speaker 1: and she neglected a lot of her responsibilities to me

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Speaker 1: and our children as the years went back. Really dull.

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Speaker 1: Now you want the business, you want this successful life,

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Speaker 1: or you want her at the home, cooking and taking

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Speaker 1: kids a soccer practicing, and and and and and banging

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Speaker 1: you to you till you till you just sitting over

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Speaker 1: there like a dish red well pardner. My wife also

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Speaker 1: failed to be intimate with me, and we went for

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Speaker 1: almost a year without sex. Hold up, dog, if you

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Speaker 1: go don't go a year without having sexual there at

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Speaker 1: your wife that ain't just your wife fault. Dog, That

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Speaker 1: ain't your wife's fault. I can promise you, man, that

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Speaker 1: Udhon did something. Man, Udon did something. Dog. Not to

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Speaker 1: move the sex and needle in your house. You've been

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Speaker 1: sitting around powding. But are you say for about a

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Speaker 1: year and then you said hold on because this high

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Speaker 1: I know that he got tricky. I should say that

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Speaker 1: she went a year without sex because I ended up

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Speaker 1: getting my needs met by another woman. Okay, excuse so

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Speaker 1: it was a year. It wasn't a year before you

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Speaker 1: started having sex. It was earlier. Because you say me

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Speaker 1: and my wife went a year without having sex, I

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Speaker 1: should say she went a year because you've ben stars

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Speaker 1: seeing this other chick. Dog. You did that before the

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Speaker 1: year was up. But you didn't think Uncle Steve was

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Speaker 1: gonna spot that in the letter because I ended up

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Speaker 1: having my needs met by another woman, which resulted in

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Speaker 1: me having an outside child. Oh you stupid, Oh you stupid?

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Speaker 1: You out there neck. It ain't gonna raincoat on? Is

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Speaker 1: you tripping? Man? Now? And now when you did had

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Speaker 1: a sex after year, you to put your wife's health

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Speaker 1: at risk? Oh man, this ain't looking good. You shouldn't

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Speaker 1: have wrote me though, this shook my wife to the

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Speaker 1: car and it was a wake up call for her.

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Speaker 1: What way? Hold up? Dog? What did you say? This

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Speaker 1: shook my wife to the car. You crushed her and

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Speaker 1: it was a wake up call for her? Like nine

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Speaker 1: nine to nine? That's what you get? What dog? You're

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Speaker 1: stupid man. You've been married twenty four years and this

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Speaker 1: is what you didn't learn. You're stupid. Very in the

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Speaker 1: wake up for Hall called for her temporarily. She vowed

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Speaker 1: to be more present with me and make sex a priority.

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Speaker 1: Oh all, this was causing her, y'all you're for real?

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Speaker 1: Are you for real? Man? Well, now that she has

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Speaker 1: changed her schedule and is paying more intention to me,

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Speaker 1: she has really started to let herself go. She is

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Speaker 1: home most of the time of the day now, and

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Speaker 1: when I get home, she's stealing her pajamas, which ain't

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Speaker 1: very sexy. She ain't done her hair or shower some days,

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Speaker 1: she does not clean up off, and she rarely cooks.

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Speaker 1: We'll be watching TV. Hold hold of doc. You crushed

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Speaker 1: a woman. You crushed her, man, You took her spirit,

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Speaker 1: You cheated on her. After she's sacrificing Bill Charles business.

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Speaker 1: Then you made that sacrifice the reason she neglected you,

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Speaker 1: the children and the family, and which made that the

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Speaker 1: reason you went out and got the other chick, which

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Speaker 1: is the reason you had another baby. And then when

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Speaker 1: she tried to steal hold the marriage together, she was crushed.

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Speaker 1: So now she at the house where you won't her.

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Speaker 1: But now you're talking about she don't shower. Someday she

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Speaker 1: crushed man, She don't clean up off and then she

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Speaker 1: rarely cooks. We'll be watching TV and a sexy woman

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Speaker 1: want cross the screen. She looked over me and see

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Speaker 1: my reaction and sometimes comments that show type of woman

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Speaker 1: right there. Yeah, you know why because she waiting on

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Speaker 1: you to do it again. She waiting so now hold up.

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Speaker 1: So now, so now this is one I'm willing to bet.

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Speaker 1: I'm willing to bet now that she at home and

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Speaker 1: won't cook and clean. You don't probably got another chick. Wow, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's her fault because she got her the Jamazon. But

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Speaker 1: you know why she got a Jamason and at the

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Speaker 1: house all day because you crushed up dudes. Kill me, man,

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Speaker 1: after we do something to a woman, we don't understand

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Speaker 1: her reaction. Now she's sitting up looking at time about

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Speaker 1: that's probably your woman too, but cheat, and I know

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Speaker 1: it's I don't know what's going on with her. You

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Speaker 1: don't know what's going on with her, flushed her. You

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Speaker 1: took her dreams from her. She built the business and

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Speaker 1: sacrifice for her and her family, and find out you

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Speaker 1: don't want her to have another baby. So if you

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Speaker 1: don't want me when I'm getting sexy folk, and y'all

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Speaker 1: still ain't having sex because you're screwing somebody else. Pardner,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on her, but she waged

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Speaker 1: too relaxed, and I feel like I'm married to one

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Speaker 1: of my buddies. I want my sexy, ambitious wife back.

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Speaker 1: She probably want her sexy ambitious husband back. Remember you

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Speaker 1: didn't sacrifice for the business, so now she got some

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Speaker 1: low level, low ass ambition playboys sitting at her house.

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Speaker 1: She probably want the huggin back. She thought she had

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Speaker 1: a man. You shouldn't have wrote me the dog. You

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Speaker 1: really shouldn't have dog. We gotta go. Thank you, Steve.

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Speaker 1: You can leave your comments on Today Letter at Instagram,

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Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey Fm, and check out the Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: podcast on demand coming up in ten minutes. We'll have

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Speaker 1: more relationship questions for you are Chief Love Officer Steve Harvey.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning

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Speaker 1: Show