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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy, this COVID nineteen edition.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Cool Stratton subbing in for Kevin fun

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Speaker 1: to be here always. Let's meet her Alchemist, shall we?

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Speaker 1: In particular order? Let's say hey to Craigwski. Craig, if

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Speaker 1: you were a wrestler, what would your personaby? I think

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Speaker 1: it would be kind of sweet, you know, and very pacifistic,

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Speaker 1: and like every time a match would start, like I'd

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Speaker 1: about to be about to get in the ring and

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Speaker 1: be like, no, I'm good, you got this. You know

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Speaker 1: you got this. Bro. He's never won or participated in

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Speaker 1: a match, exactly. I love it. Pacifist Patsy is his name?

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Speaker 1: Please welcome back, Mr James. He need he need. If

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Speaker 1: you had to choose, what would your catchphrase be? Oh? Jeez,

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Speaker 1: that's an open ended question. I think it would be

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Speaker 1: uh huh no no no, no no, no, no no no. Can

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Speaker 1: I have one second? Can I have? Can you come

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Speaker 1: back to phrases? Can I have one second? That's good?

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Speaker 1: Wait no, I don't want that. That's a good one. Wait, well,

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Speaker 1: it is open ended. It's either gonna be that or

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Speaker 1: oh that's an open ended question. One of those two

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Speaker 1: I think you're good with boy. Look over there, it's

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Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado, whoa puppy cam. Puppy cam, Chris. Uh, if

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Speaker 1: you were voted most likely to whatever in high school,

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Speaker 1: what would it have been? Or if you were what

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Speaker 1: was it? I was a class clown. Um, that's not good.

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Speaker 1: People are afraid of clowns. Yeah. Well, also turns out

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Speaker 1: class clown in my unfunny high school it was easy.

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Speaker 1: You know what I means? Can they come around these pros, dude,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like the least funniest person, so maybe most

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Speaker 1: likely to be the unfunniest person in the comedy scenario?

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Speaker 1: Very specific, very specific. Yeah that's right. Yeah, sure. At last,

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Speaker 1: it's Joey Greer. Joey looking back. What's a fashion choice

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Speaker 1: you wish you hadn't made? Oh? Too tight of clothes?

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Speaker 1: And just in general, there was a moment where I

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Speaker 1: was wearing too tight of clothes and it didn't help anybody.

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Speaker 1: Nobody wanted it, And I'm glad that time has past.

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Speaker 1: Two tighter clothes. Then they don't let you try on

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Speaker 1: clothes a Goodwill anymore. So you have to just get

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Speaker 1: home and put it on, and that's your catchphrase, James,

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Speaker 1: that's your catchphrase. Let's do it our show, shall we?

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Speaker 1: All of our scenes suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails,

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Speaker 1: or from our Patreon v I P s. To become

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Speaker 1: a Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content

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Speaker 1: and other perks, just head on over to patreon dot

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Speaker 1: com slash alchemy this. You'd like to submit a CE

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Speaker 1: suggestion via email, please write to the podcast at your

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Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your name

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Speaker 1: here at alchemy. This seene one is from Patreon and

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Speaker 1: v I P Jessica Green, who wrote, Hello Alchemy. This

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Speaker 1: is the light at the end of the tunnel, the

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Speaker 1: peanut to my butter, the well. I can't think of

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Speaker 1: any more saying, so I'm just trying to say you're

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Speaker 1: all wicked, Pissa. Every person I've heard on this podcast,

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Speaker 1: guests included, has brought me close to pe laughing. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: my suggestion is that a dog owner can suddenly communicate

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Speaker 1: with their dog and the dog is much more gruff

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Speaker 1: than expected. Keep on keeping on ps Kevin, I don't

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Speaker 1: think you get enough love from the fans. You're awesome, Bud.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to thank you as a pod father, the

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Speaker 1: one who created it all. Jess will pass it on

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Speaker 1: to Kevin for you. He'll never hear it. He'll never

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Speaker 1: hear it. Boom. Listen, all right, you got to pay

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Speaker 1: rent by the end of the day. And I know

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Speaker 1: you've got a dog in there. There's no good damn

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Speaker 1: dogs a lot and it's a babment. Good boy, good boy. Ok.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't know we're in here. He's gone. What an idiot? Ah.

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Speaker 1: I think I think he does know we were in here. What.

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Speaker 1: I think he knows we were And I think that's

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Speaker 1: why he was not out on the door. Um hm,

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Speaker 1: Buster here, you're talking to me. Yeah, my name is

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Speaker 1: not Buster Pal, but my name is Claudius Claudius. Yes,

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Speaker 1: like the Roman emperor. Oh I didn't Yeah, like the

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Speaker 1: Roman emperor Claudius. Yeah that makes sense, more of a nickname. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of the name I gave you so in

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Speaker 1: your minds. All right, this, this whole litter is adoptable.

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Speaker 1: Just take your time, feel which one you think you need.

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Speaker 1: All right, visit with the dogs, sir, Okay, okay, let's see.

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Speaker 1: They all look pretty much just like dogs do they

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Speaker 1: have different personalities all as to the throne. But Claudius

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Speaker 1: here thinks himself to be the one chosen. Don't don't

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Speaker 1: call it. Don't call attention, and it's not the blood

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Speaker 1: of kings flow through all of us. Claudius, the crown,

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Speaker 1: his head go forth Bloodius. Are they having a conversation

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Speaker 1: with each other? It looks like they're talking to each other.

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Speaker 1: Notice how all the other ones kind of acquiesced to

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Speaker 1: that one there in the middle. I mean, I don't

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Speaker 1: know the word aqueous um, could you they're kind of

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Speaker 1: Notice how they're kind of like bowing down there, you know,

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Speaker 1: putting their heads to the ground. The word acquius. Oh hell,

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Speaker 1: oh hell, claud stop it, guys, Stop it, guys, you're

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Speaker 1: calling attention to me. He's see that that one puppy

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Speaker 1: over there has like a little horn and keep blowing

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Speaker 1: it every time that that one in the middle there

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Speaker 1: moves forward. Uh sue as. I guess I'll take the

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Speaker 1: one that horn away. What are you doing? It's fitting

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Speaker 1: for you, Claudius. I guess I'll take the one that

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Speaker 1: looks like royalty. Worst day of my life. Oh, come on,

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Speaker 1: I've given you a good life buster, nothing but dog

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Speaker 1: food for four years. But but but I okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: what do you want to eat? Anything in the fridge?

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Speaker 1: Anything in the fridge, Well, I mean, yeah, okay, anything

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Speaker 1: in the fridge. You're gonna let me have that that

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Speaker 1: A size smoothie. Oh I guess are you sure it's

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Speaker 1: good for you? Should I google that? Or it's it's active? Hey, Claudius,

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Speaker 1: welcome back to the dog mark man, I remember running

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Speaker 1: so fastinated What are you been up to? Well? I finally,

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Speaker 1: uh was able to communicate with my owner. What Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I finally got his wavelength like four years late. Ship.

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Speaker 1: I've been trying to talk to him this entire time.

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Speaker 1: We know we're rooting for you, So what's up? Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, it's Clorious. It's Clorious, the one dog who

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Speaker 1: ship don't actually stink? How about down I acquiesce to you. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: it looks like Rufus learned a new word. All the

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Speaker 1: dogs know it rufus. Okay, you know what? My as

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Speaker 1: smells like? Rufus. Okay, just can't get enough rufus. Claudius

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Speaker 1: has has good news. He finally he finally communicated with

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Speaker 1: his owner. Yeah. I don't know if that's good news,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, yeah, we're talking. Now, Janet, have you ever

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Speaker 1: heard your dog? I don't know. I sit down, sit,

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Speaker 1: What was that? Have you ever heard your dog like

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Speaker 1: say something? Me and my dog talk all the time.

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Speaker 1: I love talking to my dogs. You know dogs can

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Speaker 1: hear you. Well, no, they cannot only just hear you.

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Speaker 1: They can understand you. Yeah, I know. It's amazing. Dogs

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Speaker 1: are like one of the most fantastic creatures in the world.

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Speaker 1: When I think about dogs, I think about like pure humanity.

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Speaker 1: I think dogs are like the purest form of humans.

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Speaker 1: All right, miss, everybody is adoptable. Here. Just take a

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Speaker 1: look at them and figure out which one you want. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, they're also cute. Um, let's see, Oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh. Do you want to ask a couple of

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Speaker 1: questions and just like to get to like to see

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Speaker 1: like which one I might like. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you know this, but dogs can hear you really? Yeah, science,

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Speaker 1: Well go ahead, you know, ask questions, ask away, you know,

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Speaker 1: to try to observe my questions. What you said science? Afterwards,

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Speaker 1: I didn't understand. It's a science of auditory hearing. Look,

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Speaker 1: why don't you go ahead and just just talk to

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Speaker 1: the dog. See who you want? Al Right, guys, this

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Speaker 1: is a big day for me, So don't suck it up. Okay, Okay,

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Speaker 1: here's she comes. Okay, like auditory, like auditorium. Just I'm

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Speaker 1: sorry I brought it up. Just go ahead. And you

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Speaker 1: know I love learning. I love learning that, I love

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Speaker 1: understanding things. And you know, so I talked to my

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Speaker 1: plants and like I'm gonna, I'm gonna here. I did

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Speaker 1: know that, Yeah, I go. I don't think, Channon, I

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Speaker 1: don't think you're talking about the same kind of talking

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Speaker 1: as I'm talking about. I'm telling you that I've been

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Speaker 1: outwitted by my dog. I feel like, put that hammer down.

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Speaker 1: But it's going on over there, Channing. My dog found

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Speaker 1: a hammer. Look, I think I do know what you're

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Speaker 1: talking about. I think you're talking to your dogs. My

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Speaker 1: dog is talking to me, and he's using sometimes verse psychology,

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Speaker 1: so clouds. So what you know what you can do today?

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Speaker 1: Then what's up? You know they communicate, what's what's the

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Speaker 1: next step? Well, I'm gonna have a healthier dinner, that's

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Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah. Yeah, so good, so good, Yeah, just

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Speaker 1: more balanced. I'm having some Brussels sprouts and uh as

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Speaker 1: si smoothie. Oh, I've heard about those, Um, I don't.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't have those hes as some yellowish liquid called

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Speaker 1: mountains something that's all he drinks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean and what you know the stuff they feed us

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Speaker 1: that's like ground up intestines and ship like that. I

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Speaker 1: know it's tascross. I mean, we'll eat, we'll eat it,

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Speaker 1: We're do, but be nice to have something better. And

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Speaker 1: that's exactly where I've landed, because I'm like, why be antioxidant?

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Speaker 1: I'm pro oxidant? Do you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 1: do you know what oxidants are bad? I don't know

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Speaker 1: what oxidants are bad. Actually, it's something I've never really

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Speaker 1: considered before. Think of this for a second, because I

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Speaker 1: was I saw this meme that really like explained a

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Speaker 1: lot of it, which was occident is oxy clean, which

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Speaker 1: is oxygen very clean. And Dent is like Harvey Dent

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Speaker 1: from the Batman sands. Have you seen that You're smarter

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Speaker 1: than I am? I think I need your help. I

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Speaker 1: know this is gonna sound like I'm trying to have

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Speaker 1: a date with you. Would you come over tonight for

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Speaker 1: dinner and just kind of keep my dog in check?

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Speaker 1: I have would love to have actually been really excited to.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna have a sleepover. Oh no, oh no, really, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I'll get to hang up with you for a while.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna have some fun. Yes, I see tonight. Okay,

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Speaker 1: look we hang out at the dog park. You're coming

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Speaker 1: into my environment now, oh then this this is not good.

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Speaker 1: If he's falling for your owner. She's a que and

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Speaker 1: odd weirdo. You know, I know, proxy prooxident. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: she makes you think, she really makes you think. No, no,

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Speaker 1: it's bullshit. All right, Well, we'll talk about it later tonight.

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Speaker 1: I guess whatever she says, do your own research. That's

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Speaker 1: you know, you should run run. Ah, what a mora.

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Speaker 1: I know you're in there. You gotta have read by

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Speaker 1: the end of the day. And I know there's dogs

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Speaker 1: in there. There's no dogs allowed them building. Just just

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Speaker 1: a couple of minutes longer he goes away, we leave

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Speaker 1: the light. It's pretty scary you I'm gonna I'm gonna, okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, he's gonna get out of here. Maybe no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: you can't leave because if he's out in front, we'll

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Speaker 1: see you leave in my place. Anyways, we can turn

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Speaker 1: the lights on now okay, okay, mom is gonna spit

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Speaker 1: some knowledge. Sit back and listen to this. Oh I

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Speaker 1: see that you have a pair of khakish um. Yeah

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Speaker 1: that's khakis. Well I imagine it's I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't know how they're made. So yeah, well they'd like

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Speaker 1: you to think that they would. But honestly, like if

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Speaker 1: you really want to know what they're made out of,

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Speaker 1: it to actually freak you the hell out. They made

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Speaker 1: human intestines about kathies. It's not it's not embarrassing. You're

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Speaker 1: talk Oh, shut, I don't know who that is. Well,

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Speaker 1: usually my landlord knocks, I'll get it. Hello, it's rufus,

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Speaker 1: it's rufus. What are you doing here here to bust

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Speaker 1: you guys out? I just had a feeling is going bad? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's you want to get out of here? Okay, okay, yeah, look,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead and knock the food off the table.

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Speaker 1: Run around all confused because I'm a big dog, I'm

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Speaker 1: all gangly and I'm all lives, and you know that

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Speaker 1: will give your chance to get out to bad. Go there, okay,

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Speaker 1: chanceces you just let that say Bernard in our house.

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Speaker 1: And if I'm having a conversation. Let the dog whiskey.

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Speaker 1: We're getting the funk out of here. Yeah. So this

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Speaker 1: apartment was previously rented out by attendant who had a dog,

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Speaker 1: and I knew he did. Alright, So just for the record,

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Speaker 1: if you do bring a dog into my building, the

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Speaker 1: victories so quick. But besides that, as you can see,

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Speaker 1: there is one hanging light which is yours to use,

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Speaker 1: as well as a bathtub exposed at the back of

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Speaker 1: the room. Sounds good. I'm a person. Yeah, we're all.

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Speaker 1: We're a person. We're a person in person. Good, good, good. Alright,

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Speaker 1: rent is do at the end of the month every

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Speaker 1: month in his damn? Okay, got it all right? It

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Speaker 1: gives us an extra hum. So manna need a deposit

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Speaker 1: right now? Oh that's how they get you checko pooping

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Speaker 1: a box or something. I don't know what he needs.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna need money. What do you mean pooping a box?

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Speaker 1: Those that that's a slang for make a deposit and

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Speaker 1: your landlord's account. Remember, damn, I'm not gonna be able

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Speaker 1: to show this room. That's our first. It's just a room.

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Speaker 1: It's just a room. See to us Scott who wrote

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Speaker 1: Hello otomist, Scott from Utah here, longtime listener, first time caller.

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Speaker 1: Just like everybody else, I'm happy that this show seems

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Speaker 1: to be the only normal thing left after COVID. I

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Speaker 1: like listening to this podcast while I'm doing Utah things,

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Speaker 1: you know, Utah things. As for my favorite scene, snoofa

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Speaker 1: on the Jerry Springer Show has yet to be topped. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: I'd like to draw from personal experience from my scene selection.

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Speaker 1: I work as an environmental engineer, which is Latin for

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Speaker 1: poop water expert. Because my job is so shitty, it

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Speaker 1: has almost zero cultural significance, so I would like for

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Speaker 1: your team to help raise awareness of such a maybe

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Speaker 1: important impress profession. My scene is a day in the

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Speaker 1: life of wastewater treatment. Guys don't know anything about wastewater.

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Speaker 1: That's okay. Here's a few phrases to help you sound legit,

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Speaker 1: mixed liquor, de watering, and of course odor control. Thanks

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Speaker 1: for making our days just a little more weird. Scott, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know it's wrong. I mean, we just they

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Speaker 1: started coming out of the tap weird, so we just

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Speaker 1: I don't know, we just started like I just let

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Speaker 1: her run to see if maybe maybe it was just

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Speaker 1: like a little bit of it, but it just I mean,

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Speaker 1: you can see just with the Mario brothers, but they're

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Speaker 1: booked up. So that's what we called you guys in. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Well listen, Mario brothers are great. They're great. We are better.

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Speaker 1: We're actually more of the science side. It seems. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's right, that's not going to right. We use science.

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Speaker 1: We don't just use we don't just move things and

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Speaker 1: break things and add pipes. We use science. Use science.

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Speaker 1: So are you gonna be able to fix this their?

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Speaker 1: How should we just go forward? Or yeah? So this

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Speaker 1: is how how it works. Um, I actually leave what

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Speaker 1: you see here, I leave it here and I go

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Speaker 1: underground to the watering network like the Mario brothers. No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: because okay, but I have this this, I have this

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Speaker 1: little vial here of chlorine and I test. I test

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Speaker 1: while I'm down there. You see, chlorine will kill anything exactly.

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go down to the underground water network.

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Speaker 1: It's a whole it's a whole world down there. You

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Speaker 1: don't need to all yourselves with it, you guys, relaxed

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Speaker 1: up here. I'm gonna go down there, will welcome to

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Speaker 1: the underground water network. How could I help you? Hi,

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Speaker 1: I'm actually gonna go to two four oh four to

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Speaker 1: four oh four. You got it? Make sure they have

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Speaker 1: your water bad shown Sorry, yeah, there it is careful.

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Speaker 1: The dripping brothers are around here somewhere. Didn't acquitted? They

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Speaker 1: were acquitted? Alright, alright, thanks so much, thanks so much.

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Speaker 1: I can't which two brothers are always dripping? Did dripp

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Speaker 1: be brothers? I'm dripping today, that's for sure, and I'm moist.

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Speaker 1: But what a day. There's so much precipitation in the air.

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Speaker 1: I changed sharks three times. I'm so sticky. Damn. Them's

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Speaker 1: the pits, the op pits. Ship Hey, part of me, fellows.

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Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get one and two four oh

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Speaker 1: soone's trying to get past the drippy brothers. Look at

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Speaker 1: the dry guy here in front of us. Drive along.

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Speaker 1: Not when you get done with the drop pep brother drop.

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Speaker 1: I don't want I don't want any problems. Look, I

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Speaker 1: just I'm here to make some liquor. Uh you know,

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Speaker 1: get that moving so too? Four o four mixed liquor.

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Speaker 1: You know what they say, fear before liquor, never sickle.

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Speaker 1: Let's get him dripping good liquor before fear. Did they

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Speaker 1: say we can't use the bathroom until he's done? Are

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Speaker 1: we allowed to use the bath There was no actually

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Speaker 1: there was like actually nothing said about what it was.

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Speaker 1: I guess excuse a man, there's somebody calling the Futto

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Speaker 1: water guys. We did we actually just talked to them,

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Speaker 1: the wastewater guys. You guys were too busy. Nobody answered

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Speaker 1: the phones. We're never too busy. What's going on? You

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Speaker 1: need us to take a look, if you don't mind

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Speaker 1: to get a second opinion. I mean, we had someone

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Speaker 1: from the Wasteman Wastewater Management Treatment. I don't know where

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Speaker 1: the hell is from, honestly, missus. He's still down there. Hey,

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Speaker 1: you mind if I punched this question? Mark right here?

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Speaker 1: Where did that come from? Coins? There's literally gold coins

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Speaker 1: right here in your bathroom? Those are mine you that

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Speaker 1: you can't just take you have as theres you give

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Speaker 1: secret gold coins. I mean he found those, he found

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Speaker 1: those coins in our house. He just punched that. You

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Speaker 1: just said that they're hits? Are there yours? Well? I'm

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Speaker 1: just so goddamn confused. Bringing the tools from the truck,

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Speaker 1: My brother, Louis you get the toes from the truck,

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Speaker 1: isn't me? Louis doesn't have to say ring to it,

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Speaker 1: but I say it anyway. It's a catchphrase. So just

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Speaker 1: for the record, guys, if you find any gold coins

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Speaker 1: in in in my house, those are mine. The question

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Speaker 1: marks the press we are We are not arguing now.

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Speaker 1: It's my client here has said before that she believes

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Speaker 1: that her husband or shouldn't be former husband had was

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Speaker 1: hoarding and stealing money from her, and that is one

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Speaker 1: of the reasons for the divor the divorce. Sorry, so

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Speaker 1: just so we're clear, yes, I mean, like he said,

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Speaker 1: he was stealing money. He said, there was like all

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Speaker 1: these coins or something in the house, like where was that?

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Speaker 1: Where was that money? When I needed my surgery? Where

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Speaker 1: is that money? Huh? Where was that? Am I allowed

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Speaker 1: to answer her directly? Or just something that I think

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Speaker 1: we're track here. This, this particular case is about three

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Speaker 1: missing plumbers that you both had hired. Mm hmm. It

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Speaker 1: is about that. That's why that's why I thought we're

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Speaker 1: getting divorced in and think I had anything to do

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Speaker 1: with the money. That had to do with you, didn't

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Speaker 1: You didn't think I had anything to do with that

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00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:11,199
Speaker 1: he probably killed those plumbers. Just correct, did you you are?

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Speaker 1: You're both on the record of saying that they went

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Speaker 1: to an underground water network. Is that correct? Yes? I

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00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 1: believe that's yeah. And you think that's a real thing.

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Speaker 1: You think there's a world of water, land of swords

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Speaker 1: beneath your home. So that's what they said. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: that's that's what they said. That's what they said. Oh,

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Speaker 1: there's another drip for you. Alright, alright, I'm soaking wet already. Okay,

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00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 1: I'm soaking wet. Can I just get the two four

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Speaker 1: oh four. I'm trying to do a job here. Oh

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Speaker 1: you'll know when you're soaking wet. Yeah, you'll know. You'll

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Speaker 1: know what you're done with the drip. Guys, guys, guys.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to have to do this to you,

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Speaker 1: but I will do water you right now. Who whoa, whoa?

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Speaker 1: Put that dry gun down? You put that down. I

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Speaker 1: don't want anybody. This is all we got, man, This

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00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:04,280
Speaker 1: is all we got. This is all life. Okay, we'll

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00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: cry now. I'm dripping, okay, alright, alright, okay, okay, all right.

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Speaker 1: I won't de water anything. I just need to do

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Speaker 1: a clogging situation at two four oh four. Maybe get

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00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 1: a little older control, you know what I mean? Hey,

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Speaker 1: can you let this see? And we got there. We

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Speaker 1: got a job for two four oh four. Oh, this

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00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 1: is an awkward what wait did you let them in?

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Speaker 1: Did they show you their bad or anything? Hey? Good, No, No,

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Speaker 1: the guy who lets me, who let me? And he

365
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 1: just let you guys right in. I'm about break. I

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Speaker 1: think that was at the end. Okay. Look, I've had

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Speaker 1: a real tough day. I don't need any more brothers

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Speaker 1: sucking with me. Look, we did know a fucker with you.

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Speaker 1: We just here to do a job. But you're not

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Speaker 1: here to do what to me with you? Yeah? So

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Speaker 1: this is the room all right? Now. I know you

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Speaker 1: were told me you were divorced on the phone, all right,

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Speaker 1: But I did hear gold coins in the background, so

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Speaker 1: I know you got the money, alright, So rent star

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Speaker 1: at the end of the month. And no dogs in

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Speaker 1: the building. Oh, we don't own dogs. We don't. I'm

377
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 1: allergic dogs. You can count at me to not have dogs.

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Speaker 1: But the hell we huh, it's just you here, buddy,

379
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Speaker 1: And you told me you were a divorce Who the

380
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 1: hell is we? What? Well? Is there a dog that

381
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 1: you're gonna bring in? Remember your dog? My goddamn bom

382
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 1: and building kick you. Okay, here I am finally two

383
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 1: four oh fourn How shit you've released me? Would you

384
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 1: like a wish Wow? I've heard about you. I'm a

385
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 1: what genie, I'm not a bad gin. Have you seen Wishmaster? No,

386
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 1: but you're a right me. You've never do you water gun?

387
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: Come on, I'm a magic You've never seen the wish

388
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:17,639
Speaker 1: Master for I've never seen that West Craven Master of horror.

389
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 1: He produced it, he didn't direct it that. You want

390
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: us to return your copy of wish Master? I gotta

391
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 1: tell you there's no places the return of anymore you've had.

392
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:36,919
Speaker 1: That was so long? Sorry, I was looking at my phone.

393
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, just when we're just dropping it off, just

394
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 1: dropping it off. No, this is yours to keep. I

395
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: we haven't thought about this in years. But you've seen

396
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 1: it right well, I mean it's remember the drip And

397
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 1: he said hard to remember? What are you talking with that?

398
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 1: There's so many iconic scenes, so many good specialist effects. No,

399
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 1: we haven't watched it. You know why, Dad, he's a landlord.

400
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:15,360
Speaker 1: He died after watch and wish mass that it does

401
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:19,479
Speaker 1: the full life. Mans want to drip our bad Marcus drippy.

402
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: That's right. Well, look, you're no longer welcome in the

403
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 1: pipes of two four oh four. Okay, I gotta do

404
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,360
Speaker 1: with job here. That's fine, But like, have you seen

405
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: any West Craven? I really actually don't know who you're

406
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 1: talking about, And be honest, series yea Master's Craven. I

407
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,480
Speaker 1: think I honestly have heard the name, but I don't

408
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 1: feel like I was the name West Craven. Of course

409
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,440
Speaker 1: you've heard it. It No, you're you're you're you're confusing

410
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 1: that with with Kim Kardashian West or whatever. Listen, who's

411
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 1: the one who did the real ten of bombs? I

412
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: don't know, I haven't seen. We didn't know. Craven is

413
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 1: not to be a Mario. Oh yeah, we are big

414
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 1: fans that people are under the stairs. The stairs, we

415
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 1: under the pipes, but these people do under the stand.

416
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 1: But then, thank you for being here, Mr Anderson, Thank

417
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 1: you for being here, Mr Craven. Look, there's been a

418
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 1: lot of confusion um in this in this industry, there's

419
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 1: just not enough room for two West's, you know what

420
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 1: I mean? Oh, wait, wait, were you looking for Wes Anderson,

421
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: the director of Royal tann Bombs. Yes, I'm west Anderson.

422
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 1: This is kind of what I'm talking about. I'm being honest.

423
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:41,360
Speaker 1: You are Mr Craven? Is that right West Craven? Sorry? Mr?

424
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: I am? I am West Craven. Would you spell that

425
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 1: person for me? Please? Double you? Yeah? Are you a dog?

426
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: Are you talking? What can you hear? Can you hear him?

427
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: He's barking? Oh my god? You know who's at that table?

428
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 1: That's Wet Craven. That's Wet Craven over there. That you

429
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 1: look like a tourist when you point to people like that.

430
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 1: Is that Wet Craven over there? Yeah? Big fans, we're

431
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 1: dripping with admiration for you. Dance right? Hey? Would you

432
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 1: mind signing? Uh di perspiration sticks? Okay? Um, sorry to

433
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 1: hear you got divorced in the time it took me

434
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 1: to clear those pipes. We we're sorry too, because you know,

435
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 1: typically when the Mario brothers do it, they're in and

436
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 1: out and I haven't seen them. And now I've got

437
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 1: cops calling, and there's my wife's gone, hold on it

438
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 1: all happened down there. I'm trying to figure this out too,

439
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 1: because I was playing out the pipes at two four

440
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: oh four, the home in which you lived with your wife. No,

441
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: now you're in a new place, and I popped up here,

442
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 1: Ah the fucking water genie she did this. I bet

443
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 1: the genie is still in two four oh four. You

444
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: know what, Hey, do yourself a paper, get yourself dog? Okay,

445
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: fixes everything. I'm not supposed to have any You're not.

446
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: I'm allergic. I'm a moment. Oh, I'll get a talk. Okay,

447
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 1: thank you? What a sad guy. A long commercial for

448
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 1: adopting Dog C three is from Patreon double V I P.

449
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 1: Katherine Fosser or way, sir. I'm not sure w A

450
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,959
Speaker 1: S E R who first wrote to us via email,

451
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 1: and here's that. Hello Kevin. First off, thanks for using

452
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 1: my first ever seen suggestion. New Astronaut arrives at I

453
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 1: S S station for six months shift. What a lovely

454
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 1: Christmas surprise. So now I've been listening to Alchemy this

455
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 1: for about six months, working my way slowly both ways

456
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 1: through your podcast. I bet Joey could explain how you

457
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 1: can time travel in both directions at once, but maybe

458
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: better not so you all make me laugh. So hard,

459
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: and after six months, I just feel like, Okay, that's

460
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 1: enough of a free ride. I should start supporting their

461
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 1: efforts to monetize their work via the web. This does

462
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 1: not come natural to me. I'm a librarian by training,

463
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 1: editor by trade, and I believe deeply in the information

464
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 1: wants to be free model because A I'm mid century

465
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: modern myself, so not native to social media land. And

466
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 1: B I've been more into books since the cat in

467
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: the Hat clicked for me at age five. But as

468
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: the mom of one of my best friends always said,

469
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: say lah, God, damn v That's why I signed up

470
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 1: as a patron of v i P earlier today. Okay, okay, okay,

471
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: does that sound just too smart me to be true?

472
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 1: You're right, I am so busted. Yeah, it's really about

473
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 1: getting v i P access from my scene suggestions. And

474
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 1: here's my ladies, I bought it. The top marketing team

475
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 1: of a big pharma company is meeting to finalize the

476
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 1: name of their latest drug to hit the market, which

477
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,400
Speaker 1: they expect to be a huge money maker. Have fun,

478
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: Katherine from Tucson, Arizona. Now, look, we all agree that

479
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: khakis are taking a huge hit. Okay, people are finally

480
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 1: coming wise into what makes khaki. So we gotta figure

481
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 1: out something else. Okay, hello, hub up, hub up, hubbub.

482
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 1: Peas and carrots, peas and carrots, hubbub. We've already suggested,

483
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 1: hubbub and peas and carrots, Dwayne, that's all I got.

484
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 1: It just doesn't sound like a drug. It sounds like

485
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: food and a synonym for sound. And if I mean honest,

486
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: calm down. Look here, let's just background work before. I'm sorry,

487
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 1: I had to say that I've done background work before,

488
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 1: and that's the way we're talking. Okay, you bring it

489
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: up with every time. Christ Everyone do an adderall right now?

490
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 1: Everyone doing an adderall right now, Jesus, just don't snorted.

491
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:00,120
Speaker 1: I chopped it up and snorted it. I saw what

492
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 1: you did. Okay, Oh my gosh. All right, listen, we

493
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 1: need to focus up. We need to get this going

494
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 1: with your phone. Wait a second, that's it. It's sitting

495
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 1: right in front of us, chopped up adderall chopped up,

496
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 1: chopped up, snorted up, snort was good. I put it

497
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 1: in my board with the board though. We just gotta

498
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 1: figure out what the board is. And there were goal

499
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 1: is this just the adderall talking or is this amazing

500
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: what we're doing? This is good. This is good, This

501
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 1: is good, This is good. Okay, okay more everyone, okay, okay, okay,

502
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 1: so when I did background work, when I did background work,

503
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: shut up? What okay? Okay, okay, okay, so good, let's

504
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 1: past this around. This is pretty good to here. Okay,

505
00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 1: I mean, no extacy, ecstacy, start anything. I have the marker.

506
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: I'm standing in front of the white board. I had

507
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 1: to ask one question. Let me just play this. I

508
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: got some music right here, let me just play. Oh

509
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 1: oh yeah, that sounds good. Let's let's see some of

510
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 1: my let's do somes Okay, what the hell was? So

511
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 1: this is the reporter you're giving me? Huh? You all

512
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 1: look strong out of your fucking minds. We just need

513
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: a little comment. Was this whiteboard that you just brought

514
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 1: in here? That makes no goddamn sense. That's a picture.

515
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 1: We drew a cheeseburg and it sir, So what do

516
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 1: you have for me? What are we gonna do? Cheeseburger? Um?

517
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 1: I think what we're trying to say is we probably

518
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: need twenty four one more day, just one more with

519
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 1: this close, with this close there, I'm going to give

520
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 1: you not only day. I'm gonna give you a week,

521
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: and I want to make sure that you guys can

522
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: focus soul. You're being sent to Las Vegas. You gave

523
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 1: them another week? Yes, can you pass the grady? What's

524
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,320
Speaker 1: the problem? Dad? Huh? You put me in charge of this,

525
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 1: didn't you. I'm gonna get it done. If we don't

526
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 1: come up with a name for this new drug, then

527
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 1: little farm is gonna take over. Boys yelling at the

528
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 1: dinner table, Grandpa, We're sorry, but listen, I'm in charge

529
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:32,080
Speaker 1: of this now. This is my time. This is our opportunity. Guys,

530
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 1: this is gonna be a little farmer's day. Think about it.

531
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 1: We've just been growing drugs in the backyard for years

532
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,839
Speaker 1: and we can we can do this. We have an opportunity.

533
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 1: It's time for a little farmer to step up. Who's

534
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 1: got ideas? Who's got ideas? We gotta do this. U huh?

535
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,439
Speaker 1: What was the reason why we're a little farmer? Guys?

536
00:34:55,480 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 1: That it showed right up alright is penthouse in Vegas.

537
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,840
Speaker 1: This is where the ideas, This is where the ideas flow.

538
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: Speaking to flow. Yeah, look I'm looking down to the strip.

539
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:10,719
Speaker 1: I see a little farmer here, Little farmers here too?

540
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 1: Oh are you locking kidding me? They might be here,

541
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 1: but do they have t sto here with us? They don't,

542
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,799
Speaker 1: they don't, they don't. Alright, guys, this is I got

543
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:23,719
Speaker 1: us little something for the weekend. Okay, just so we

544
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,280
Speaker 1: can get our minds right. Okay, now this is fucking

545
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 1: pure grade heroin. He weend. You started when questions about

546
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 1: there you go everybody that was still in there. Jeez,

547
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 1: that's a that's a plastic nozzle. Ye there man, I

548
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 1: can't get it out. All right, go round table right now,

549
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:55,840
Speaker 1: spin on names und table. Okay, cool, galahad good. I

550
00:35:55,960 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 1: like it, Arthur, Arthur, I like Berlin thing. Now? Who

551
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 1: the somebody orders some chicks and nuggets both genders. That's

552
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:23,919
Speaker 1: not what I want. I want to take nuggets. Dad,

553
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: Just listen to me. It's gonna be fine. Okay. Could

554
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 1: someone pass the gravy please? How much are we spending

555
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 1: on this Vegas weekend? Nothing? Minimal cost at a couple

556
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 1: of hundred million, nothing, just to get the juices flowing?

557
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: Uh huh. Do we have a name yet? That's what

558
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 1: we need a name for the product. Right now. It's cheeseburger.

559
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: I like it like this is a This is an antidepressant.

560
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 1: And what's more antidepressant that cheeseburger. Look I like cheeseburgers,

561
00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 1: like where you have to check with legal. She's dead,

562
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 1: She's sucking dead. Guys. This guy's waving his dick in

563
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 1: my face. Get out of your nuggets. You killed this

564
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 1: chicken for sure, no one be practical. Just bury her

565
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 1: under these thousand dollar bills that they gave us. Okay, okay, okay,

566
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 1: we get a dog, right, we put a dog because

567
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,840
Speaker 1: he put the dog up, piece of the dog in

568
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: her up. We came out of my nose and im

569
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 1: pale nuggets nuggets with my whippet. Okay, Tiesto saw at all.

570
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 1: He's trying to go to the door. Someone stopped, Tiesto.

571
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:57,920
Speaker 1: Get him, get just sto. Okay, so you're telling me

572
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: we have to cover up a multiple murder. Now, the

573
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 1: one thing I'm telling you is that we gonna don't

574
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:09,839
Speaker 1: call me man gives give me the gray beans, give

575
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:13,279
Speaker 1: your grandather green beats. All right, listen, I guess some

576
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: bad news. Okay, bad news Papa and people. Okay, it

577
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 1: looks like my marketing team has uh, kill someone, kill someone,

578
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 1: pest the gravy. There are multiple gravies in front of you,

579
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:41,839
Speaker 1: in front of you. Fine, are you sad? Are you down?

580
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 1: You don't have to be cheeseburger for you know you're

581
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 1: in there. Don't make a stone, make a sound, guys,

582
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 1: don't make a sound. Man. If we're all the human

583
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 1: we can get this cheeseburger looks so good. I mean

584
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 1: I look kind of you when i'm big. Hey, you

585
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,880
Speaker 1: do rufus. We should send you to the pharmacy and

586
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 1: get some cheese. Go to the pharmacy. Yeah, yeah, go

587
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:16,800
Speaker 1: to the pharmacy. I'll go get someburger. Next. Hello is

588
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 1: me doctor Morris? Fish bine here? Big up? Uh re

589
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 1: refilling gede burger? Are you thirsty? Do you want some

590
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 1: of my neck whiskey? I'm fine? Thank you? Doctor. I mean,

591
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 1: what do you mean you went out for a drink

592
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 1: with a customer? Nothing? Is he's a doctor, he's a regular.

593
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 1: It's nothing. He's a doctor. So because I'm not a doctor,

594
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,800
Speaker 1: because your father doesn't think that what I do for

595
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 1: a living is good enough, because I'm in waste water management,

596
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 1: you can just go have drinks with your customers now,

597
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 1: is that right? Look, my dad doesn't like you because

598
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,879
Speaker 1: you don't know any of his his immense catalog of work.

599
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 1: All right, he's the master of horror. Oh what are

600
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:09,320
Speaker 1: we doing? What are we doing? I don't know, but

601
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:15,839
Speaker 1: it feels so right, it feels so right. I don't know. Oh,

602
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:20,399
Speaker 1: I'm flying, I'm flying. Oh, come lady, you didn't jump

603
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 1: out of the building. Alright, bad news. Everybody gather roll

604
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:30,360
Speaker 1: turns out cheeseburger. It's a side effect cheeseburger, and it

605
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:34,760
Speaker 1: makes you think he would kill somebody. Man, Daniel, Daniel,

606
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:39,919
Speaker 1: we'll talk about that. Talking about that, I can still

607
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 1: see that whippet shooting into his brain. Shut the funk up,

608
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:48,359
Speaker 1: Shut up. You're really hanging out by a threat. Here, guys,

609
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 1: Tiesto is laying low. But he could go forward with

610
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 1: this information and anytime because no one tackled him. Just

611
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 1: let him go out. A lot of us made a

612
00:40:57,200 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 1: lot of bad decisions that weekend. And look, did we

613
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: include the side effects in that commercial? I mean no,

614
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:07,359
Speaker 1: we gotta just do the same commercial. Daniel. We're gonna

615
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 1: need you to read outside effects. Okay, can you do

616
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: that for ust man? All right? All right, here we go.

617
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:19,080
Speaker 1: Are you sad depressed? You don't have to be. Ask

618
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 1: your doctor if Hamburger is right for you. Shacks inability

619
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 1: for dud earworms. Look, I'm just coming and get the

620
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,800
Speaker 1: less of my stuff and then I'm out of here. Okay, okay,

621
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 1: here with me. I'm going to talk to my ex.

622
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: Just give me a second. I didn't. When did you

623
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 1: get the new Talk New talk? More like new Man.

624
00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 1: He's a doctor. I'm doctor more fish mine. Oh, Janet, team,

625
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 1: I just coming over here for a second. Why are

626
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 1: you going to propose me? No, let's just have a secret.

627
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 1: I'd like to tell you, okay, Janet, that that that's

628
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 1: a dog, or it's a person that's not wearing any

629
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 1: clothes except for a necklace that has a barrel of

630
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 1: whiskey around his neck. Janet, you're smarter than this. You're

631
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 1: the one that stopped me so much. Don't you see

632
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,399
Speaker 1: what you're doing? You got your You're with a dog.

633
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 1: You are so sad. You are so sad, halfne in

634
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: your new life with all your gold coins. All right,

635
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 1: we got a problem, guys. A little farmer came up

636
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 1: with Hamburger. Put your mouth in the barrel. This guy

637
00:42:52,000 --> 00:43:04,359
Speaker 1: you're all here, you're all here. We had you. He's right.

638
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 1: They just released Hamburger. That the commercials on TV right now?

639
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:11,919
Speaker 1: Are you said? Are you the press? You should dry

640
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: Hamburger because the dripping brothers loving brothers side effects may

641
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:27,320
Speaker 1: include dripping, And that's right. But that's the side of

642
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 1: that's pretty much it pretty much. That's the drippingge Is

643
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 1: that the whole commercial? Yeah, it sounds like they stole

644
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,359
Speaker 1: our product and they just sit there like, not saying

645
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 1: anything for another twenty five seconds. It's kind of soothing

646
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 1: in a weird I figured it out. I figured it out, Daniel.

647
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 1: There's only one bullet in this wenna. A quick round

648
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 1: of roulette. Okay, that kind of roulette, that's not a

649
00:43:54,840 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 1: spinning kind of spinning the guns? Why do you snort it?

650
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,319
Speaker 1: Do I snort it? Wait? Wait, we'll see what We'll

651
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 1: see who it lands on. We'll see who it lands on.

652
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm not I don't care. I'm still spinning.

653
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 1: It's still spinning, spinning. Well, I don't care where lands

654
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:14,960
Speaker 1: I'm not going to click that thing not stopping spinning.

655
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe maybe we've been insected by small pharma. What

656
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 1: the small so as you can see, the patients who

657
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:35,920
Speaker 1: were given the placebo felt okay. But the four gentlemen

658
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 1: in that room they were giving high dousins of cheeseburger.

659
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 1: It turns out there are some pretty radical side effects.

660
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 1: When you say radical, I just want to make sure

661
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 1: that we are on the same page, because I think

662
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 1: that sounds kind of radical. Take a look through that

663
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 1: two way mirror, sir. Do you see you see that?

664
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 1: Those men they think they've killed somebody. They think they've

665
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:03,879
Speaker 1: got on a bender, they think they've been all over

666
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 1: you ever ever looked at these mirrors and think like, hey,

667
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 1: what if? What if we could see through it? Shut

668
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 1: the funk up? Shut the funk up. We kill somebody, man,

669
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 1: we kill somebody, We took a life. That means that,

670
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 1: that means just have you seen found destination? Have you

671
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: seen found this detination? I don't know. I think so.

672
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 1: I think it's great. Is it not? Is it not?

673
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 1: I don't know? Is it I? No, I don't know

674
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 1: anymore not. I don't know if it is. I don't

675
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: know if it is. Do do do do do Chester

676
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 1: chests here here here's some me to you. Tripping, oh

677
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 1: ship tripping No, No, I see him too. I see

678
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:03,879
Speaker 1: him too, boff Y. Can I make a wish? Yeah?

679
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:06,919
Speaker 1: I still think radical sounds good. I mean, they look

680
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 1: like they're having a fun time. Look, it's up to you, Okay,

681
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 1: we just we run. We run the test here, you do,

682
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 1: you do what you want with with the fund. So

683
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 1: you're telling me that as long as I advertise that

684
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 1: these pills might give people a radical time, that my

685
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:25,360
Speaker 1: company will be safe because we've disclosed the truth. I

686
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:30,400
Speaker 1: think that's accurate. Yeah, No, it's a nude. It's up

687
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 1: to you. You can release them now, or or we

688
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:38,399
Speaker 1: can put them down. Oh I didn't know we could

689
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 1: put it down. Put them down, Oh, put them down. Okay.

690
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:53,160
Speaker 1: Hey guys, hey, hey, hey, a couple of things. You're fine.

691
00:46:53,200 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 1: You're fine, and that's our show. Thank you to your alchemists.

692
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: See what they're up to. Chris Oliverado, Hey, thank you

693
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,160
Speaker 1: so much. That was so much fun. Cole, it's so

694
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:16,879
Speaker 1: fun to have you um guesting again. We just love

695
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 1: you so much. Thanks. Of course you got some of

696
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,359
Speaker 1: my stuff at Chris I'll burn on Instagram Chris dash

697
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 1: dot com for some website fun. Thank you everybody. It's

698
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 1: Craig Tikowski. Yeah, let's get some action on that Alchemy

699
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,960
Speaker 1: this reddit page, you know some chatter and uh you know,

700
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 1: follow Alchemy that to uh immediately find out if the

701
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 1: episode you just listened to is any good or not.

702
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 1: Jay z h Yeah, thanks for tuning in. Check out

703
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 1: bear Supply on Twitch every Wednesday at eight p m pst.

704
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:58,440
Speaker 1: Uh It's Twitch dot tv. Slash bs Comedy, Nice Joey Greer,

705
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 1: check me out online of God bless chim Chum spelled

706
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 1: exactly as you think. Thank you too, Tighter clothes and

707
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,720
Speaker 1: I'm cool Stratton, Take me out at at Cool Stratton

708
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 1: or at Stratton Cole. On social media, please go to

709
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: s S sketch Fest dot com. Our big benefit shows

710
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 1: on jan that's sure when this is gonna air, but

711
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 1: it fits before that. Please go check it out. Hundred

712
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: plus performers, big Stars, little Stars, big farm, a little Farma.

713
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 1: They're all there, so go check it out. It will

714
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 1: help us keep us afloat during all of this. Let's

715
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 1: thanks our engineer and producer Doug Babe and the fine

716
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 1: folks at i heeart Media dot com. Please write to

717
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: us at your name here at alchemy this dot com.

718
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 1: That's your name here at alchemy this dot com until

719
00:48:49,719 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 1: next time, And a football pepper and a football pepper.

720
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 1: Al