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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcasts, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information,

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Speaker 1: visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com.

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Speaker 1: And while I hope you love listening to and learning

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Speaker 1: from the podcast, it is not meant to be a

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Speaker 1: substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all,

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Speaker 1: thanks so much for joining me for session seventy of

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Speaker 1: the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. Our episode today focuses

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Speaker 1: on one of my favorite things to discuss, social media

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Speaker 1: and how it impacts our mental health. My dad will

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Speaker 1: all always tell me, when we were growing up and

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Speaker 1: he's a military guiding, you would say, you quote that

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Speaker 1: will go over our heads, but now it makes sense.

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Speaker 1: You would say things like, you know, to live by

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Speaker 1: a man's compliments is to die by the criticism, And

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Speaker 1: I think that's what we're doing when we're on these

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Speaker 1: social media platforms. But before we dive into the episode,

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Speaker 1: I want to share some very important information about our

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Speaker 1: sponsor for this week's episode, Black Girls Hell. If you

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Speaker 1: heard session fifty nine of the podcast, you'll remember my

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Speaker 1: incredible conversation with Sheina Tubs when we discuss some of

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Speaker 1: the issues in No Over Border Law of Queen Sugar

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Speaker 1: might benefit from addressing in therapy. If you haven't already,

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Speaker 1: then I definitely suggest you check it out well. Shena

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Speaker 1: is also the creator of Black Girl's Heel, and she's

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Speaker 1: preparing to start a twelve week program that may be

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Speaker 1: of interest to you if you're struggling with the effects

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Speaker 1: of unresolvedihood trauma, battling self doubt and low self esteem,

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Speaker 1: have a fear of making decisions or being good enough,

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Speaker 1: or if you keep repeating the same mistakes in romantic relationships,

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Speaker 1: as well as dating the wrong person. Focused on giving

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Speaker 1: women active tools to manage anxiety, fear, symptoms of depression,

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Speaker 1: improve boundaries and current toxic relationships with family members and partners,

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Speaker 1: and build their self esteem, the twelve week Black Girls

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Speaker 1: Heal program focuses on giving practical and actionable skills coupled

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Speaker 1: with coaching that women can use in their everyday life

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Speaker 1: while healing and reprogramming negative self beliefs from traumatic wounds.

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Speaker 1: Sheina is a trauma therapist and coach and design the

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Speaker 1: program to start the healing process as you find a

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Speaker 1: therapist or to sup limit your current therapy as an

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Speaker 1: active skill, resource and community. To kick off the launch,

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Speaker 1: Sina will be hosting a free master class on Friday,

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Speaker 1: August at six pm Central Standard Time. The title of

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Speaker 1: the master class is What's the Ache? Uncovering the impact

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Speaker 1: of childhood emotional neglect and Three Steps to Heal. To

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Speaker 1: join the master class and be signed up for notifications

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Speaker 1: when the doors open, you can register by going to

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Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash b g H

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Speaker 1: Master Class And of course all of this information will

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Speaker 1: be in the show notes so you can read more

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Speaker 1: about it and register for the class. Now let's get

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Speaker 1: back to the episode. For this conversation, I'm joined by

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Speaker 1: a very special guest therapist, Dr Audrey Townseil, who is

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Speaker 1: a psychologist in Memphis, Tennis and my line sister. Doctor

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Speaker 1: Tounsel earned an undergraduate degree in psychology from Xavier University

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Speaker 1: of Louisiana and then a master's and doctorate degree and

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Speaker 1: clinical psychology at Nova Southeastern University in South Florida. Doctor

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Speaker 1: Townsel returned to Tennessee in two thousand and ten to

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Speaker 1: become the Director of Psychology at Western Mental Health Institute.

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Speaker 1: Shortly after, she began her career with Shelby County Jails

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Speaker 1: as the director of Mental Health in two thousand and eleven,

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Speaker 1: overseeing mental health services provided to the incarcerated throughout Memphis, Tennessee.

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Speaker 1: Inspired by the obvious lack of psychological resources, she established

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Speaker 1: chelic Psychological Services to meet the needs of the community

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Speaker 1: and to continue educating and attempting to reduce the stigma

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Speaker 1: of mental illness. Dr Tounsel and I chatted about how

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Speaker 1: social media platforms can impact our self esteem, why the

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Speaker 1: comparisons we make between ourselves and others on social media

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Speaker 1: aren't entirely accurate, and she shared her favorite tips for

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Speaker 1: helping you to have a healthier relationship with social media.

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Speaker 1: If you hear something that really strikes a chord with you,

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Speaker 1: please share it with us on social media using the

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Speaker 1: hashtag tb G in session. Here's our conversation. Well, thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for joining us today, Dr Counsel. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for having me. I'm very excited to finally get

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Speaker 1: you on the podcast. So that we can said about

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Speaker 1: all things social media. Um. And of course, you know,

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Speaker 1: like lots of different therapists who come on the podcast

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Speaker 1: have kind of hinted at the impact that they are

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Speaker 1: seeing social media have on their clients. But I definitely

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Speaker 1: wanted to talk with you today specifically about how it

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Speaker 1: is impacting clients self, because I know you worked without

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Speaker 1: a lot with some of your clients, So can you

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Speaker 1: tell me more about what you're seeing? Absolutely, But before

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Speaker 1: I started, I want to let your audience know how

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Speaker 1: proud of you I am, and that this is nothing

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Speaker 1: that we didn't imagine that would happened for you. You've

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Speaker 1: always been, you know, the voice of reason for all

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Speaker 1: of us. So even when I hear your podcast and

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Speaker 1: I hear your tone, I was like, she's always been

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Speaker 1: like that the twenty years that I've known her, She's

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Speaker 1: always been like this. I'm super excited for your success,

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Speaker 1: and I would have imagined anything different, no problem. So

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Speaker 1: as far as um what I'm seeing in social media

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Speaker 1: in regards to my patient population, I first want to

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Speaker 1: say that we all have been impacted in some way,

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Speaker 1: shape or formed by something on social media. Unless you

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Speaker 1: live on a remote island with no Internet accent. We've

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Speaker 1: we've all have encountered some type of influence from social media.

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Speaker 1: But I think social media doesn't always have to be negative.

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Speaker 1: You can find inspiration and motivation from some posts, some

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Speaker 1: social media quotes, and even pictures. You know. I know

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Speaker 1: a lot of um of my clients use Pinterest to

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Speaker 1: find you know, cool do it yourself ideas. I personally,

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Speaker 1: you know, follow style Pantry just to you know, see

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Speaker 1: some nice fashion tips and inspirations on fashion. So social

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Speaker 1: media doesn't always have to be negative. But in regards

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Speaker 1: to what I see in therapy, it is, um. I

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Speaker 1: hear a majority of my clients report and are showing

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Speaker 1: the negative impacts of social media or how they view themselves. Um.

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Speaker 1: But first I want to be very very clear by

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Speaker 1: saying social media is not the call of low selfseems,

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Speaker 1: but it has the right elements to contribute to it.

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Speaker 1: There are plenty of studies out there that correlate depression, anxiety,

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Speaker 1: body image issues to the frequency of social media usage.

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Speaker 1: But the truth of the matter is this is a

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Speaker 1: natural human instinct to judge our progress or our success

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Speaker 1: in life on how we see that we match up

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Speaker 1: against other people. So much. So there was term coined

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Speaker 1: in the nineteen fifty called social comparison theory that really

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Speaker 1: labeled this concept of how we view ourselves in comparisons

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Speaker 1: to other people. Um, but the truth is, joy, we've

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Speaker 1: all done this, right, So if you could think back,

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Speaker 1: but when we were in college and we took biology

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Speaker 1: exam and we got the grades back, what's the first

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Speaker 1: thing that everyone did? Why did you get? Like, well,

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Speaker 1: what did you make? And what we were doing we

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Speaker 1: were measuring how we stacked up against our peers. But

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Speaker 1: the problem that we have with social media comparisons is

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Speaker 1: that we're judging ourselves against perfectly crafted, well thought out

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Speaker 1: posts and altered images. Right, So in essence, we're creating

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Speaker 1: real emotions from false images. People are comparing their realistic

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Speaker 1: offline self to our idealistic online sales of other people

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Speaker 1: that are purely disk images. And so that's the problem

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Speaker 1: that we're seeing with social media alright, Audre, So you

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Speaker 1: have given us a whole word just in this first question.

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Speaker 1: So I definitely want us to break some of this down, right,

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Speaker 1: because I think the first thing you said that really

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Speaker 1: stuck out to me was that social media is not

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Speaker 1: the real culprat here right, Like, it is not what

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Speaker 1: is causing maybe low self esteem or issue with depression,

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Speaker 1: but it definitely heavily contributes to what may be happening. Absolutely. Actually,

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Speaker 1: if you think about a person who would nified themselves

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Speaker 1: with the image that they see online, you have to

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Speaker 1: just imagine there are a lot of underlying issues that

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Speaker 1: help that person develop a self esteem that they have

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Speaker 1: that would cause them to absorb all of those external

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Speaker 1: triggers to kind of come up with this image that

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Speaker 1: they have with themselves. So it's not social media that's

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Speaker 1: causing the most self esteem. Those issues were already fair.

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Speaker 1: It contributes to how we expressed ourselves. Yeah, and you

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Speaker 1: mentioned a good point. I think thinking about you know too,

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Speaker 1: when we were in college, right, because we were kind

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Speaker 1: of right on the brink of like everybody getting email

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Speaker 1: addresses and stuff, and I don't yeah, I don't think

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Speaker 1: we were on Facebook in college. I don't think, uh no,

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Speaker 1: thank god, we all we had was I think my

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Speaker 1: face had just Yes, you're right, yeah, and so thank

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Speaker 1: god we didn't have Facebook. Yes. But I think you

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Speaker 1: bring up a good point though, because it's always been there, right,

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Speaker 1: It's an actual tendency like you to want to compare

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Speaker 1: yourself to your peers to kind of know where do

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Speaker 1: you fall in in the group kind of what you know,

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Speaker 1: how do you compare to other people? So can you

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Speaker 1: talk a little bit more about like what it looked

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Speaker 1: like maybe twenty years ago before we had social media

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Speaker 1: versus like the way that it looks now. Absolutely, I

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Speaker 1: mean we can just use the example that I used

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Speaker 1: as far as school, we were able to compare how

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Speaker 1: we matched up with our immediate peers. You know, these

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Speaker 1: are people that we knew and that we were like

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Speaker 1: on this kind of similar playing fields with well, you know,

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Speaker 1: similar to that we have a group of peers on

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Speaker 1: social media, but a lot of times were not on

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Speaker 1: the equal playing grounds, right. So it's almost like people

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Speaker 1: who are in entry level jobs are looking at Instagram

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Speaker 1: pages or any social media platform of people who have

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Speaker 1: been working in the field for twenty plus years. So

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Speaker 1: that's an uneven playing field. Um. So that's kind of

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Speaker 1: really the dangerous part about social me. You you haven't

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Speaker 1: been able to identify your immediate peer group because of

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Speaker 1: folks differences, and it's just a lack of information you

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Speaker 1: have about the other people. So back in the day,

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Speaker 1: you know, we would sit down and say, you know,

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Speaker 1: who are you? You know, what classes did you take?

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Speaker 1: And you were able to sit down with that person,

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Speaker 1: gather information and be able to compare yourself in an

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Speaker 1: intimate setting, whereas Facebook there's no real intimate setting and

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Speaker 1: being able to identify your peer, but you know are

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Speaker 1: I think that's what oftentimes feels very confusing because I

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Speaker 1: think and of course there's a lot of psychology behind

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Speaker 1: like everything that goes into social media, Like while we

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Speaker 1: spent so much go on and like, of course they

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Speaker 1: hire people to help us stay on these platforms, right, um,

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Speaker 1: a little bit, But I so I do think that

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Speaker 1: there is a real sense of intimacy though that feels

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Speaker 1: like it is created when you are friends with people,

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Speaker 1: or you're kind of seeing people's Instagram stories and they're

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Speaker 1: kind of living out their entire days or most of

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Speaker 1: their days on Instagram, so you're like following them. So

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Speaker 1: I think it does breathe a certain sense of intimacy

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Speaker 1: that is not actual. Yeah, I think that's a facess

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Speaker 1: of intimacy one because what you're seeing on social media

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Speaker 1: is only a movie reel of what they're saying is

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Speaker 1: there's a short clip of their entire life. Right, So

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Speaker 1: it's just like a movie is we see a movie trailer,

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Speaker 1: they're want to show us the most exciting parts of

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Speaker 1: that movie, right to draw us into you know, spending

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Speaker 1: our money in the movie theater. But they never show

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Speaker 1: us the making, the behind the scenes or the making

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Speaker 1: of the movie. They never show us the blooper reels.

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Speaker 1: They never show us the outtakes or the alternative endings. Right,

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Speaker 1: so when we see you know, these uh again highlight

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Speaker 1: reels with someone else's life, we feel like we're connected

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Speaker 1: to them. But that's not all. That's all, that's not

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Speaker 1: that's one moment in that person's entire day, entire life.

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Speaker 1: But most importantly, it's what that person wants to present

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Speaker 1: to us from their experience. So they have control over

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Speaker 1: what we see um how we view them. And so

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Speaker 1: it's really not an actual realistic intimate relationship when someone

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Speaker 1: is not being authentic and not being open and showing

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Speaker 1: you exactly what's going on behind the scene. Right. Very

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Speaker 1: good point, because like you mentioned, you know, like if

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Speaker 1: we're offline, you're seeing me across multiple days. You know,

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Speaker 1: if I've had a bad day and you read it,

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Speaker 1: you knew that, and we could talk about it versus. Okay,

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Speaker 1: if I decided to share this good day I have

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Speaker 1: on social media, then that's the only clip that you're

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Speaker 1: really seeing of me exactly. It's it's like the people

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Speaker 1: that I see, you know, out in public, and they're

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Speaker 1: holding their cameras in the air and then and they're

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Speaker 1: taking like fifty shots in there. You know, it's almost

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Speaker 1: like they're a photo shoot with their camera phone and

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Speaker 1: their turn their head and then trusting to the right angle,

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Speaker 1: you know, to get the right light, and then they

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Speaker 1: choose which image they want to p then and then

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Speaker 1: you see them a week later, they don't have the

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Speaker 1: makeup on, hair pullback in the ponytail. That's not the

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Speaker 1: person that you saw on social media, right, So what

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Speaker 1: does that say about us about the information that we're

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Speaker 1: receiving and how we're filtering what people put out for

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Speaker 1: us to um get from their experience. So we have

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Speaker 1: to be mindful of that. Yes, very good points. So

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Speaker 1: how do you start to chip away at some of

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Speaker 1: this with your clients? Like where would you even start

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Speaker 1: to help them, you know, really understand like the false

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Speaker 1: sens of intimacy that's created in the impact that this

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Speaker 1: is happening me beyond them. First, I start by, you know,

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Speaker 1: just getting the idea of how social media is impacting

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Speaker 1: their life. Again, like I said before, social media is

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Speaker 1: not the call for There are so many other underlying

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Speaker 1: issues that need to be addressed UM in therapy UM

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Speaker 1: and social media is just an avenue of getting to

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Speaker 1: some of those issues. But the one thing I like

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Speaker 1: to you know, work with my clients on is the

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Speaker 1: reality of the situation. You know, just just real hardcore

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Speaker 1: facts about what we're dealing with right now. So, you know,

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Speaker 1: the one thing I work with them on is realizing

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Speaker 1: that one there's plenty of happiness, plenty of beauty, and

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Speaker 1: plenty of success to go around the world like ten

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Speaker 1: times if not more. Um, just because someone post hashtag

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Speaker 1: yolo on their pictures doesn't mean that you can yolo too, right,

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Speaker 1: So you know, I tell them like, it's it's enough

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Speaker 1: of that to go around, So you don't have to

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Speaker 1: feel like this because someone else happiness is only limited

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Speaker 1: to that person. So just getting them to understand that

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Speaker 1: you can if that's what you choose to you can

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Speaker 1: also do that as well. But also being aware of

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Speaker 1: their energy ship, meaning that when you're on social media

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Speaker 1: and you're in a positive movie, but then your energy

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Speaker 1: starts to shift in a self critical you know area.

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Speaker 1: That's why I really work with them or being aware

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Speaker 1: of that type of energy is and then in those

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Speaker 1: moments like digging deep inside and asking what is it

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Speaker 1: about what I saw? What is it about this moment

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Speaker 1: or this experience that's really bothering me and causing me

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Speaker 1: to shift my energy? And just like you shifted that

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Speaker 1: energy to a self critical space, you have the power

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Speaker 1: to shift it that you have the power to shift

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Speaker 1: to making that posted inspirational post. So working with that

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Speaker 1: with my clients on learning how to take control of

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Speaker 1: their thoughts, take control of their energy, and being empowered

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Speaker 1: to know that you don't have to stay in the

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Speaker 1: space where you're self critical and you're using fuel to

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Speaker 1: deceat yourself. But I also work with them on being

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Speaker 1: um less reactive and more proactive. So it's reactive when

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Speaker 1: you get emotional or when you get self critical, when

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Speaker 1: you see a social media post, that's a reaction to

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Speaker 1: that trigger. But I use that moment to say, Okay,

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Speaker 1: what about that reaction it's causing you to feel this way,

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Speaker 1: and what can you do to reach whatever goal that

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Speaker 1: you feel that this image represents, so turning it into

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Speaker 1: being proactive setting goals actually do? I tell my clients

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Speaker 1: all the time. It's always a dream and a dream

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Speaker 1: will stay in your head until you write it down

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Speaker 1: and put a date on it and did it's a

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Speaker 1: goal right? And then when you start writing down steps,

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Speaker 1: then it's a plane. So how can we take using

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Speaker 1: shifting that energy from being self critical to making an inspiration,

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Speaker 1: turning that dream that you have that's fueled by that image,

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Speaker 1: turning it into a plan. So that's what we really

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Speaker 1: work on, and I challenge a lot of my clients

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Speaker 1: by taking the step further. So if you see a post,

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Speaker 1: if you see an image on on on a social

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Speaker 1: media platform that causes you to shift your energy to

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Speaker 1: being self critical, not only can you create your own plan,

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Speaker 1: but why not you're positive vibes to that person, then

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Speaker 1: positive energy to that person by complimenting them that in

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Speaker 1: that person though that they are inspirational, or asking just

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Speaker 1: simply you know, how did you get that? I can

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Speaker 1: tell you my fitness journey started with a Facebook pope

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Speaker 1: to me asking someone how did you get that body,

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Speaker 1: you know. So it's simple, that's that it's difficult to

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Speaker 1: um be inspired by someone and also the envious of

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Speaker 1: that person to the point where yourself defeated. So that

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Speaker 1: caused a level of cognitive dissonance within ourselves that it

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Speaker 1: is difficult for us to kind of sit in that space.

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Speaker 1: So challenging my clients to go a step beyond that

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Speaker 1: and making sure you shift that energy in a positive

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Speaker 1: way and sim positive vibes to that person. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: it really sounds like doing a lot of kind of

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Speaker 1: cognitive behavioral we're kind of you know, like journaling about Okay,

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Speaker 1: what was trigger for me when I saw that post?

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Speaker 1: You know what kinds of things came up for me?

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Speaker 1: Because like you said, you know, the post was only

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Speaker 1: the trigger. Whatever it was there was already there even

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Speaker 1: before you saw the post, right, And so it's just

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Speaker 1: that there is some work to be done in this area,

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Speaker 1: and now we need to focus on what that area

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Speaker 1: is versus the actual social media Absolutely absolutely, tememorial clients

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Speaker 1: um kind of open up. You start to see that

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Speaker 1: this is a systemic, kind of chronic problems for them

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Speaker 1: for a very long time. It didn't start with them

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Speaker 1: getting uh a log into a social media platform. This

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Speaker 1: has been going on for quite some time, and so

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Speaker 1: just working with them on the route of the problem

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Speaker 1: and not just you know, the pedals that we see,

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Speaker 1: but really kind of dig indep into really how do

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Speaker 1: we resolve this overall issue of self esteem. So one

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Speaker 1: of the questions that I asked, so this whole month,

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Speaker 1: of course, is Minority Mental Health Awareness Month, and so

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Speaker 1: I've been doing a question to day to help people,

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Speaker 1: you know, kind of think about the different ways they

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Speaker 1: could be mentally will And one of the questions I

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Speaker 1: asked last week was how would you describe your relationship

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Speaker 1: with social media? And so that gave me some great

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Speaker 1: a vision. People had lots of different responses, But one

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Speaker 1: thing that I found really interesting was that people have

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Speaker 1: different reactions to different platforms. So, you know, love or

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Speaker 1: hate Instagram for one thing, or they love or hate

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Speaker 1: Twitter for something, or love or hate Facebook for a

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Speaker 1: different thing. Have you seen the different platforms kind of

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Speaker 1: foster different kinds of feelings and emotions. When you gave

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Speaker 1: me this topic, I pulled my clients and I asked them,

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Speaker 1: you know, how how do they feel about these particular

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Speaker 1: tropics and really I hear um that some people really

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Speaker 1: gravitate towards the visual images of Instagram versus you know,

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Speaker 1: the commentary of Facebook. Uh. And I think it really

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Speaker 1: just depends on the person, you know what, what's your

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Speaker 1: personal preference is, um. But not only that, I feel

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Speaker 1: like there's so many social media platforms that we have

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Speaker 1: to be mindful of their intents. I was so shocked

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Speaker 1: to hear, you know, and my client saying I am

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Speaker 1: older than I am because I'm really not on a lot.

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Speaker 1: I'm on no one social media platform and they told

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Speaker 1: me that, you know, they're finding dates on LinkedIn. M hmm,

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Speaker 1: I'm and I'm thinking to myself, when did LinkedIn become

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Speaker 1: you know, Christian mingle or tender? Like what is going on? Right?

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Speaker 1: And so really, any social media platform is really what

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Speaker 1: you make it out to be, how you use it,

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Speaker 1: and so it can it can come up with you know,

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Speaker 1: it can be created for its own antisate purposes, but

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Speaker 1: it's really how that individual purpose that person uses that

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Speaker 1: platform and you know, how they see themselves in that space. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then you know, in some of the discussions last week,

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Speaker 1: it feels like people had the strongest like negative reactions

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Speaker 1: to Facebook, like people. And I'm sure it has had

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Speaker 1: something to do with like all of the news we've

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Speaker 1: been hearing about Facebook, right or related to that big

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Speaker 1: news and um, you know, all of the stuff around

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Speaker 1: the elections. And I think a lot. I think because

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Speaker 1: Facebook is more of a discussion platform, you know, it

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Speaker 1: has just bringing a lot of like very tense conversations

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Speaker 1: for people, you know, especially since the election, whereas is

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Speaker 1: more visual, right, and so you're kind of posting captions,

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Speaker 1: but you're not necessarily having a whole bunch of discussion

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Speaker 1: on Instagram. So there was a negative emotion related to Facebook. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna take that a step further because I

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Speaker 1: was having this debate with with the colleague yesterday. I

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Speaker 1: don't think we want to hear what's real. I don't

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Speaker 1: think we want to hear someone's true emotions about something

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Speaker 1: that there. We want to be happy. We want to

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Speaker 1: go on Facebook, Instagram and all these other social media

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Speaker 1: platforms to see what they are and what they and

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Speaker 1: what we are. We we want this idealistic image of

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Speaker 1: the world. And and for example, how many times have

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Speaker 1: you read when someone is really you know, emoting or

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Speaker 1: you know saying how they really feel about something and say, oh,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe they said that. Don't Facebook, but that's

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Speaker 1: how that person really felt about that, you know, Or

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Speaker 1: when someone puts, you know, something personal on facebooking our responses, Oh,

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Speaker 1: this is not the place. Why but why why wouldn't

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Speaker 1: it be the place that that's where they choose to

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Speaker 1: share that information. We want to only see, you know,

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Speaker 1: a person's happy side, so that we have something to

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Speaker 1: compare that too. But this is real life. When people

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Speaker 1: you see social media platforms to kind of express who

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Speaker 1: they are, and with some people who they are is

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Speaker 1: not always do it. But we don't want to see that.

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Speaker 1: We don't want to hear that. We block them, or

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Speaker 1: you know, we screenshot it and say, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: look what they did. But that's who that person is.

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Speaker 1: So I think that, you know, and I agree, I

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Speaker 1: agree with you. People are gravitating away from Facebook for me,

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Speaker 1: I think because of their reason and moving more towards

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Speaker 1: less commentary, less um social interaction in the way of,

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Speaker 1: you know, going back and forth in a conversation versus

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Speaker 1: I just want to see pictures and that's all I

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Speaker 1: want to see. Hmmm, that's a good point. I hadn't

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Speaker 1: considered that. So another thing that I think that has

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Speaker 1: kind of been fostered on social media is fomo right,

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Speaker 1: like this whole fear of missing out, Like you see

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Speaker 1: your friends snapchatting from a party that you didn't get

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Speaker 1: in by into and you feel like you're being left out.

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Speaker 1: So tell me what are your thoughts about that? Well,

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Speaker 1: I think it's real, and I think that it's all again,

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Speaker 1: It's always been there, you know, going back to when

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00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,360
Speaker 1: we were younger. You remember when um, what's the show?

432
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 1: It's a different world without it. We had to make

433
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 1: sure that we saw it, you know, and your side,

434
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,439
Speaker 1: so that the next day we can go to school

435
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,719
Speaker 1: and we can be a part of the table talking.

436
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,119
Speaker 1: We can say yo, we saw it too right. We

437
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 1: wanted to be accepted, we wanted to be included, we

438
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: wanted to be validated, so and we wanted to be

439
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: a part of that in crowd. And that's no different,

440
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 1: you know than what we're seeing now with the social

441
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 1: media platforms. People want to be included and they want

442
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 1: to be validated. But again, going back to the danger

443
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: of social media is we don't know our true peer group, right,

444
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: We don't know a lot about the people who we

445
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: want to be in the in crowd with. We don't

446
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 1: know a lot about their values. We don't know about,

447
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: you know that, their thoughts and their views on the

448
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 1: world or themselves. Again, this is only just a clip

449
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: of what's going on in their lives. And when we

450
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 1: want to be in an in crowd of people that

451
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 1: we don't know, then our views of what's important and

452
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:00,919
Speaker 1: our mores becomes somewhat cused, because now we're chasing um

453
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 1: that in crowd and want to be included in that

454
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 1: in crowd, and want to be validated by that in crowd.

455
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 1: But again, we really don't know that crap, you know.

456
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,919
Speaker 1: And so it kind of reminds me of what my

457
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 1: dad would always tell me when we were growing up,

458
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: and he's a military guy, and he would say, quote

459
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 1: that will go over our heads, but now it makes sense.

460
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 1: You would say things like, you know, to live by

461
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:26,399
Speaker 1: a man's compliments is to die by their criticism. And

462
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 1: I think that's what we're doing when we're on these

463
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 1: social media platforms, is that we're chasing the like we're

464
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 1: chasing you know. I even had, you know, a client

465
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 1: tell me that she counts up the lights and the

466
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 1: heart and there's a difference between the lights and the hearts.

467
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 1: And she gave me permission to talk about this, but

468
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 1: that stood out to me because we're what would happen

469
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 1: if you don't get a heart or like, how does

470
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 1: that validate you or or invalidate you in regard to

471
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 1: being a part of that pure roup, a pure group

472
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,879
Speaker 1: that you know little to nothing but out And so

473
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 1: that's the scary part about, you know, having to navigate

474
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 1: social media. How we're using it to validate our sense

475
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 1: of self and you know, feeling included and involved in

476
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 1: a peer group again that we don't know anything about. Yeah,

477
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 1: and it definitely you know, and there has been also

478
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 1: been researched that talks about like you could be having

479
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:24,440
Speaker 1: a perfectly good time at a party and like enjoying yourself,

480
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: and then you go on Instagram and some of your

481
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 1: other friends at another party, and then that lessons the

482
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: good time that you're having at your party. Um, you know, yeah,

483
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: so it's like even though you were initially having a

484
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 1: good time, now maybe this party doesn't seem as fun

485
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: because you're not another one. Absolutely, And I use the

486
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 1: analogy sometimes when you know I have clients to talk about.

487
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 1: You know, there are reactions to social media post or

488
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 1: what someone comments on their page. You know, I say, well,

489
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 1: why don't you call them and give them you a

490
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 1: social security number? And they looked at me like I'm

491
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 1: not doing that. I'm like, well, you're not gonna do

492
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 1: that calling me giving me a bank account number. I'm

493
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 1: not doing that. Well why wouldn't you because you're giving

494
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: them free rein over how you feel about yourself, which

495
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: is actually more important than you're so security number and

496
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 1: you know your bank account number. Your self esteem kind

497
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 1: of drives everything that's important about you. But you give

498
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 1: them all free access to that. So challenge that you know,

499
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: framal thinking about you give. You're giving them, you know,

500
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 1: all this access to you or how you feel, on

501
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 1: how you think, or how you validate yourself. But there

502
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: are some things that you feel are awful limits. But

503
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 1: why is your self esteem not as valued as other

504
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: parts of your life? I love that analogy order that

505
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 1: I think is a great way to think about things.

506
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 1: So the point that I was thinking about earlier you mentioned, um,

507
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: you know, like people will share certain things on social media,

508
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 1: you know, and people will say like, oh, this is

509
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 1: not your proper place to share that or you know what,

510
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: why we because this is And I do feel like

511
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: likeeople who have kind of grown up with social media

512
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: being so accessible don't necessarily have the same boundaries around

513
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 1: like what you're shared online versus not um and so

514
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: in some ways I sometimes see that as like oversharing,

515
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: But I think you're right, like, because it's just what

516
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 1: they do, that's what they do. UM. But I'm curious

517
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: about your ideas about like what kinds of things do

518
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 1: feel like oversharing online? Or does nothing feel like that

519
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: to you? Again, according to my clients, I am the

520
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 1: Grandma of social so um. But you know, I think

521
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 1: that if it's something that you wouldn't feel comfortable sharing

522
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 1: with your family but you share on social media, I

523
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 1: think you should take a step back and say, you know,

524
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 1: why do I feel comfortable sharing in this platform and

525
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 1: not with people who I trust and who you know

526
00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 1: actually know me and actually care about me. So you know,

527
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 1: you have to you have to question a person's um

528
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 1: comforts and you know their intentions on doing that. You know,

529
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 1: what what are they getting to? You know, what are

530
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: they trying to get from sharing this particular information with

531
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 1: the crowd of people who you don't know their response.

532
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 1: You know, you can't trust that everyone's intention will be

533
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 1: good when they're you know, giving you comments on your

534
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 1: on your social media seats. So I think that's where

535
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: I would start as asking, you know, what about what

536
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: you posted? Did you not feel comfortable sharing with people

537
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 1: who actually know you and care about you? And so

538
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: I think when it gets to that point when you

539
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: wouldn't share it with your family, but you're shared with

540
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 1: the group of strangers, and that's something that we can

541
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: kind of talk about a little bit more. You and

542
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 1: I know plenty of people who have reported sexual assaults

543
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: and sexual molestations or you know, even come out as

544
00:31:55,920 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: homosexual on social media platforms, and so you know, sometimes

545
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: it's a freeing experience, but you also you know it's

546
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: in the back of your mind, like what was it

547
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: about this platform? Did you feel comfortable not, you know,

548
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: expressing yourself to people who actually know and they're intention

549
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 1: is to care for you? Right? And I do think

550
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 1: that again, kind of going back to our conversation about

551
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: like how intimacy is created, I do think that people

552
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: have legitimately formed some very strong relationships with people online, right,

553
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: Like that may even be more supportive than family members.

554
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 1: I agree, I definitely agree. Everyone's family is not the

555
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: same and so you know, everyone's family may not support

556
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 1: some of the views that you will post online. Um,

557
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 1: But again, you still have to think about You have

558
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 1: to wonder what they're wanting to get from this open

559
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 1: form of people who don't really know them, right, Because

560
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: I think it's one thing like if you formed a

561
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: connection with people online and then you have like a

562
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: private group that you're shared to vernon Facebook where those

563
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 1: people will see it, But it's also in some ways

564
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 1: exposed for people who may not love you in those

565
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 1: same ways, right, And you're kind of opening to commentary

566
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 1: from people who you wouldn't have necessarily intended to see

567
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 1: the post or whatever. And and not only that, being

568
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 1: an employer, these posts never go away, so you have

569
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 1: to be mindful of that your your image of how

570
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 1: you view yourself today may change in the next five years.

571
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:34,280
Speaker 1: The things that you think about today may not be

572
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 1: the same tomorrow. You never know. You know, again, I

573
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 1: am so grateful that we didn't have in college because

574
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 1: I don't think, um, I would be a psychologist. But

575
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: but but, but that's an example of being mindful of

576
00:33:55,800 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 1: what you put out for public consumption and how people

577
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 1: develop their filter around what you with the information that

578
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 1: you give them. How they can change throughout, you know,

579
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: throughout the years and all the time. So you have

580
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: to be mindful of that. Yeah, and I do think

581
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:14,799
Speaker 1: it's important to reiterate that, you know, because we see

582
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:19,399
Speaker 1: people dig up screenshots of tweets from five years ago, like, oh,

583
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 1: remember what you saying? You know, So, yeah, it's absolutely

584
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 1: even when you think you've deleted it, somebody likely has

585
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: the screenshot of it, so you should screen shot. That

586
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 1: is the enemy, the screen shot. I ever think that

587
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: anything is ever permanently gone exactly. So what are your

588
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 1: tips and strategies are for how we can set some

589
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 1: like healthy limits around social media usage. I like to

590
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,120
Speaker 1: have my clients walk away with practical tools that they

591
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 1: can you you know, not just always sit and talk

592
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: about theo radical concept about you know, social media and

593
00:34:55,200 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 1: sealth esteem. But the three most influential practical tool that

594
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: I give them is the first one is limit your

595
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 1: access and your convenience. So what I mean by that

596
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:12,240
Speaker 1: is most most people, majority of people have every uh,

597
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: social media account. You know, a log in for every

598
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 1: social media count they have a Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, um, Instagram, Tumbler.

599
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 1: But do you need all of them if a majority

600
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 1: of them are serving the same purpose, why not limited

601
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,839
Speaker 1: to the one that you like the most. So if

602
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 1: you have one for entertainment and one for professional, you

603
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 1: just limited to those two and kounter deactivate the others.

604
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 1: Um that The second part of that is the convenience part.

605
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,840
Speaker 1: A lot of the social media platform has app Delete

606
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 1: the apps from your phone. If the issue is you're

607
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 1: being inundated by a lot of um negative comments and

608
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 1: it's caused me to steal a certain way or even

609
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 1: images that's causing you to compare yourself to other just

610
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,880
Speaker 1: delete the out from your phone. Because if you have

611
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 1: to go the long route about going through a search engine,

612
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:09,359
Speaker 1: typing in the web, the website, typing in your user name,

613
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 1: the long it takes a lot of fun out of it.

614
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 1: So you know, take it off your phone and it

615
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 1: will reduce the frequency and by which you utilize those

616
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: web forms. The second one is set screen time. So

617
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 1: for all of the parents out there, you know the

618
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 1: importance of not letting your kids sit in front of

619
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 1: the TV for eight outs. Right, So you say you

620
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:33,840
Speaker 1: only get one or two hours a day and that's

621
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:35,919
Speaker 1: it and you have to do other things to people.

622
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 1: Duc The same applies to social media platforms. Set screen

623
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 1: time for yourself. You can set durations, meaning that you're

624
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 1: not going to use social media platforms any more than

625
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: two hours a day. Right. You can set frequencies only

626
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: get four times or three times a day to look

627
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:56,800
Speaker 1: at social media. And then you can also set times

628
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,719
Speaker 1: of the day. But I'm only gonna check social media

629
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: doing in my lunch break. So setting your screen time

630
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 1: is really important. And I also recommend to my clients

631
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 1: that they refrain from checking social media early in the

632
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 1: morning and right before they go to bed. And that's

633
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 1: because you don't want to start your day off being

634
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:19,879
Speaker 1: innundated with everyone else's clutter, right, and you don't want

635
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: to start your day off in a negative, you know,

636
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: frame of mine. But also you don't want to go

637
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 1: to sleep that way either. You don't want to go

638
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 1: to sleep with the comparisons and they the thaws, the

639
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 1: images of what you wish you could have done. So

640
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 1: you want to refrain from, you know, checking social media

641
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 1: early in the morning, before you wake up and late

642
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: at night. You know, I even recommend if you charge

643
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 1: your phone, don't charge it by your bed, charge it

644
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,799
Speaker 1: in another room. So and even if you wake up

645
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 1: in the middle of night, you don't feel inclined to

646
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: roll over check your phone and check social media, so

647
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 1: just take it out of your room put it in

648
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 1: another room. Um. But lastly, be intentional and purposeful when

649
00:37:56,680 --> 00:38:02,439
Speaker 1: you're choosing social media again, my mind was blown when

650
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 1: they told me LinkedIn was the new tender completely. So

651
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:12,320
Speaker 1: if you're intent for a social media platform for entertainment,

652
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 1: use it for entertainment. If you're intent is to use

653
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 1: it for professional use, use it for for professional use,

654
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 1: and try your best not to get them intertwined and

655
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 1: mix up, because then you won't have, you know, separation

656
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 1: between your personal life and private life. And if everything

657
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:33,799
Speaker 1: starts to get muddled together and starts to get really

658
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 1: confusing and now you don't know which one is which

659
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 1: are being purposeful and intentional with how you use the

660
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 1: social media though some great practical strategies. Under your client

661
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 1: is love that kind of stuff, I would hope, So,

662
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,320
Speaker 1: so tell us where we can find you are g

663
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,280
Speaker 1: what is your website? As well as any social media

664
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 1: handle where you said you only have one, so probably

665
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 1: not a lot to where. All right, so my website.

666
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,440
Speaker 1: You can find me on the web at Kalix Psychological

667
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: dot com and that's Kalix c A l y X

668
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:15,240
Speaker 1: Psychological dot com. Or you can email me at info

669
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:19,839
Speaker 1: I n f O at kalg Psychological dot com on Facebook.

670
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 1: On our Facebook candle is Kalix Psychological Services again at

671
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 1: c A l y X. And if you're in the

672
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 1: Memphis area, you can call us schedule a consote or

673
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 1: an appointment on the numbers nine zero one four one

674
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 1: three eight six six three perfect. And of course all

675
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:40,320
Speaker 1: of this will be included in the show notes for

676
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 1: anybody who can't take it down while they're driving or something.

677
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 1: All right, Well, thank you so much for joining us today,

678
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:49,880
Speaker 1: r J. I really appreciate it. Oh no, it was

679
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 1: a pleasure. I'm finally glad that we were able to

680
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: get our schedule, you know, on the same energy wavelength

681
00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 1: that we can schedule this. The talks are really really

682
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: um enjoyed it, and again I'm so so proud of you.

683
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 1: I'm so thankful Dr Townsel was able to share her

684
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:13,320
Speaker 1: expertise with us today. You can find more information about

685
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 1: her practice in the show notes at Therapy for Black

686
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:20,399
Speaker 1: Girls dot com slash seventy And we would also love

687
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: it if you made sure to share this episode with

688
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 1: two new people in your life, or you can share

689
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 1: your takeaways in your i G stories. Make sure to

690
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:34,720
Speaker 1: use the hashtag t b G in session. I'd also

691
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 1: like to again thank our sponsor for this episode and

692
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 1: encourage you to check out the master class offered by

693
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:44,759
Speaker 1: China of Black Girls Heel this Friday by going to

694
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash b g H

695
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 1: master Class. If you're looking for a therapist in your area,

696
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 1: be sure to visit the therapist directory at Therapy for

697
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: Black Girls dot com slash directory. And don't forget that

698
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 1: the tb G merch store is now open, so if

699
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,280
Speaker 1: you want to grab a T shirt or a mug

700
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 1: to show your love for the podcast, you can do

701
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Speaker 1: that at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash shop.

702
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: And if you want to continue this conversation and join

703
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 1: a community of other sisters who listen to the podcast,

704
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 1: join us over in the thrive tribe. You can request

705
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 1: to join at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash Tribe.

706
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 1: Make sure you answer the three questions that are asked

707
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 1: to gain entry. Thank y'all so much for joining me

708
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 1: again this week, and I look forward to continue in

709
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:42,359
Speaker 1: this conversation with you all real soon. Take good care,

710
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:21,720
Speaker 1: actor all oft oft oftt