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Speaker 1: This is cole Minor, John, This is cole Minor Sale

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Speaker 1: And we have been digging for stories on the Okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime podcast as long as we can remember saying.

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Speaker 2: And we've pound some diamonds of the rough, how don't we?

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Speaker 3: John?

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Speaker 1: That's right, But before we do that, we have to

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Speaker 1: wade through two more minutes of incredible ads from our

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Speaker 1: sponsors keeping us finding more great stories on the show.

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Speaker 4: I think my boyfriend's son hates me. He's mad whenever

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Speaker 4: he sees me.

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Speaker 5: You not like mommy toime. He like mummy time, not

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Speaker 5: like mommy time.

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Speaker 4: I nineteen, Mail have been in a relationship with Henry

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Speaker 4: for a while now.

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Speaker 2: I moved into his.

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Speaker 4: Place last year after another bad fight with my dad.

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Speaker 4: Things have been going relatively smooth for the most part,

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Speaker 4: except when it comes to visitors. By the way, this

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Speaker 4: comes from user Unwanted House Guest twelve on the r

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Speaker 4: slash Okay Storytime suburn it So, Henry has two sons,

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Speaker 4: Chris twenty six male and Junior twenty nine mal.

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Speaker 2: I know he's nineteen.

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Speaker 4: I think I know why the suns don't like you.

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Speaker 4: Chris visits two to three times a month, and I'd

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Speaker 4: consider us friends.

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Speaker 2: When he's here.

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Speaker 4: He usually comes early and stays the day just to

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Speaker 4: check in and help me with some chores until his

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Speaker 4: dad gets home.

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Speaker 2: Junior, on the other hand, doesn't seem to like me

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Speaker 2: very much.

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Speaker 4: I don't think he's really accepted that his dad is gay,

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Speaker 4: so he can get mad when I'm here. He's only

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Speaker 4: visited a couple of times before, and they all ended

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Speaker 4: up with him glaring at me and my boyfriend. Before

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Speaker 4: his second to last visit in January, we had a

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Speaker 4: sort of mutual civility other than his glaring. During the

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Speaker 4: second to last visit, it ended in a screaming match

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Speaker 4: with Henry about me.

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Speaker 2: He really really doesn't like that I'm there.

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Speaker 4: So Chris broke up with his girlfriend, Emily, who's female

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Speaker 4: twenty seven. They left on a good note, so he

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Speaker 4: decided to let her live in their apartment until his

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Speaker 4: lease ended and they could both move somewewhere else. Chris

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Speaker 4: lives closer to our place than Junior's, so for the

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Speaker 4: first couple of days.

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Speaker 2: He crashed here.

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Speaker 4: Two days ago, Junior came to pick Chris and his

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Speaker 4: stuff up from the house. Knowing this and how upset

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Speaker 4: Junior is with my presence. I asked Henry if I

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Speaker 4: should go out to my friend's place. He agreed, so

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Speaker 4: I packed my overnight bag and left. It turns out

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Speaker 4: I forgot my toothbrush. I remembered it when I was

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Speaker 4: only a couple minutes away from the house, so I

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Speaker 4: circled back to go get it. People were asking why

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Speaker 4: I didn't just buy one, but Henry handles the finances

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Speaker 4: and holds the debit card. I had cash, but I

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Speaker 4: was saving it for food. I went inside the front

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Speaker 4: without seeing anyone and just went upstairs to grab it.

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Speaker 4: Coming down, a very pissed Junior was staring at me

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Speaker 4: from the bottom of the stairs. Turns out he parked

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Speaker 4: in the back. He started to yell again, especially at Henry.

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Speaker 4: Chris shuffled me out of the house and offered to

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Speaker 4: take me back to my dad's place, which it was

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Speaker 4: really odd since I was pretty sure he knew about

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Speaker 4: our bad relationship, so I just went back to my

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Speaker 4: friend's place. A couple days later, I'm back at Henry's

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Speaker 4: and he's asking me to apologize and or talk to Junior.

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Speaker 4: He seems really persistent on it, but I don't think

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Speaker 4: I did anything wrong, even if apologizing would be just

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Speaker 4: keeping the peace. Junior kind of scares me now. I

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Speaker 4: don't want to apologize, but I don't want to damage

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Speaker 4: Henry's relationship with Junior.

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Speaker 2: Am I the What is that butt face?

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Speaker 6: Am I the butt face?

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Speaker 2: AI?

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Speaker 6: TBF?

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Speaker 2: Any who.

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Speaker 7: Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong? That seems like

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Speaker 7: an issue between Henry and his son exactly that.

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Speaker 4: I think they're reckoning with a lot of information they

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Speaker 4: may not have been aware of most of their life.

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Speaker 4: But anyway, let's get into this update. I don't know

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Speaker 4: Reddit protocol, but I think i'd feel like a dung

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Speaker 4: cake if I didn't update. Given all the time you

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Speaker 4: guys took to respond to my last post, especially since

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Speaker 4: some of them seemed very personal, I feel like I

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Speaker 4: worried a lot of you, probably through miscommunication. I'm not

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Speaker 4: the best at explaining things. Also, my dad and Henry

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Speaker 4: weren't exactly best friends, but he wasn't the reason we

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Speaker 4: had that fight. It's unrelated. I read all the comments

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Speaker 4: on my last post. They made me feel weird with myself,

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Speaker 4: so I didn't respond to a lot of them. I

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Speaker 4: assume weird about the age gap. I thought it was

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Speaker 4: just something to sleep off and brush off later. But

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Speaker 4: that night with Henry was really uncomfortable for me, and

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Speaker 4: it just got worse after the next two Henry was

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Speaker 4: still being really persistent about me apologizing to Junior throughout

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Speaker 4: those days, so I got his number and called him.

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Speaker 4: That morning, I went in the other room and apologized

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Speaker 4: to Junior. He said he wasn't mad at me, but

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Speaker 4: kind of responded tiredly, so I wasn't sure what to

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Speaker 4: make of that. Then it sounded like he was just

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Speaker 4: starting to segue into what you guys were saying. I

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Speaker 4: got scared and hung up on him before he started

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Speaker 4: to spiel, and then blocked him. And again, we're not

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Speaker 4: having the context of what the other comments said, but

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Speaker 4: I can almost guarantee the comments are about the age

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Speaker 4: gap and about like something, you know, like the debit

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Speaker 4: card being withheld, sort of like trying to warn him, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: trying to be like, hey, I don't know if this

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Speaker 4: is actually.

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Speaker 2: A good relationship for you.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: It took me a couple hours after Henry left for

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Speaker 4: work to unblock him and call him back. Yes, he

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Speaker 4: was saying what the comments were. I wish I could

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Speaker 4: say I listened really well and voice my opinion, but

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Speaker 4: I just started effing bawling. After a long hour of

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Speaker 4: him trying to calm me down on the other end

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Speaker 4: of the call and me blubbering, I agreed to go

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Speaker 4: visit his and Chris is as of right now place

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Speaker 4: for the weekend for a small break starting Friday afternoon.

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Speaker 7: He was pretty insistent on having Chris pick me up. Okay,

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Speaker 7: so Junior is making a relationship with OPI.

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Speaker 4: All of this was was basically Junior being like, dude,

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Speaker 4: my dad is using you like this is not a

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Speaker 4: good relationship for you. I told Henry certain parts of

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Speaker 4: the conversation when he got home, and he was very

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Speaker 4: happy that I made up with Junior and thought having

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Speaker 4: me stay with them for the weekend was a great idea.

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Speaker 4: Thursday ended with another uncomfortable night. I'm at Chris and Juniors.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 4: I think Henry has noticed Chris took me more than

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Speaker 4: a weekend's worth of clothes for me, which I didn't

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Speaker 4: realize until this morning, and has started texting me and

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Speaker 4: asking when I'll be back. I haven't responded, so he's

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Speaker 4: starting to ask if we could call. I don't know

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Speaker 4: what's happening. I really don't I just wanted to know

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Speaker 4: what to do about my boyfriend's son, not like not

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Speaker 4: liking me, And now I'm lost.

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Speaker 2: I really really love him. He loves me too.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure if I asked I'm sure if I asked him,

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Speaker 4: he'd let me get a job or even go to

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Speaker 4: a community college. But literally everyone else has been calling

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Speaker 4: our relationship creepy, even his own sons.

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Speaker 2: And I'm gonna third that that's creepy. Fourth, it's creepy.

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Speaker 7: Sorry, and everyone else put what fifth or fifth?

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Speaker 2: You are? What place you are? And it's like you

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Speaker 2: can be in love at nineteen.

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Speaker 7: I was in love at nineteen, And you don't need

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Speaker 7: your partner's permission to go to community college or have

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Speaker 7: a job.

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Speaker 4: That is that That's the point. This the dynamic y'all

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Speaker 4: have with you being so young and him being so

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Speaker 4: much older and him basically treating you like, I don't know,

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Speaker 4: like almost like a surrogate child in a way, like

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Speaker 4: where it's like you're not allowed to have a job,

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Speaker 4: you're not allowed to go to school, you can't have

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Speaker 4: the debit card, like when you're gonna be back.

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Speaker 2: Home or how long you be gone? Yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: don't know. His sons know that this is weird.

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Speaker 4: I feel weird making an update because at this point

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Speaker 4: to me, it's like, oh, look at me. But I

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Speaker 4: felt weird or knowing that people were still concerned after

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Speaker 4: my last post, and I don't like making people feel crappy.

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Speaker 4: I'm safe, I'm healthy. Yes, I've been crying. No, I'm

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Speaker 4: not proud of it. It's messy, but I've been working

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Speaker 4: on it. I'm still at Junior. It's been peaceful. He

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Speaker 4: folds his socks oddly. I've wait, Yeah, who folds their socks?

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Speaker 4: I do you don't ball your socks?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Ball them?

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Speaker 5: Never mind?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, who folds socks? I've been trying to find another

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Speaker 4: place for me to go. I don't want to be

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Speaker 4: a burden for the next eternity or witness whatever the

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Speaker 4: heck he's doing to his socks. It Also, it's also

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Speaker 4: kind of awkward living with your boyfriend's son. At least

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Speaker 4: it feels like it to me in my head. He

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Speaker 4: hasn't done anything that makes me feel that way. I

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Speaker 4: could go back to my father's but quite frankly, I

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Speaker 4: really really don't want to. A friend suggested contacting my

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Speaker 4: extended family, which is an option, but I honestly don't

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Speaker 4: know them very well. The last time I've seen any

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Speaker 4: of them was at a funeral over a decade ago.

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Speaker 4: Plus they're three states away. The best option I have

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Speaker 4: right now is getting a job that makes enough for

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Speaker 4: me to rent a room. I've been looking, but it

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Speaker 4: hasn't been easy. It's difficult to get an actual full

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Speaker 4: time job at my age during the summer. Since I

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Speaker 4: live in a college town in an area, everyone assumes

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Speaker 4: i'll quit right before the college semester starts, even if

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Speaker 4: I tell them otherwise. Of Course, I'm going to keep

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Speaker 4: trying until I get enough for consistent rent. I'll need

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Speaker 4: to couch surf. I'll be fine. I have a couple

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Speaker 4: of friends who've offered to let me stay at their

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Speaker 4: places before I even ask. I'll make sure to not

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Speaker 4: overstay my welcome before going to my next friend's house.

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Speaker 4: I haven't told Junior yet, but I'm sure he'll be

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Speaker 4: happy to have his apartment back to himself and teenager

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Speaker 4: free at his old, old, very old nearly thirty age.

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Speaker 2: What you know? Who else has an old.

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Speaker 4: Old, very old age Henry yoh boyfriend who's his father?

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Speaker 2: But that was that was sarcastic. It was like, Okay, yeah, old,

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Speaker 2: come on, I guess for it. I fell you got me,

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Speaker 2: you got me. Ope.

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Speaker 4: Henry has been calling and texting me, and the most

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Speaker 4: I've done is respond to some of the texts. But

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Speaker 4: I've been declining ninety nine percent of his calls for now.

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Speaker 4: The extra one percent was when his text got pretty desperate.

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Speaker 4: I don't have any plans on going back to his

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Speaker 4: place right now, but he's been consistently offering to pay

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Speaker 4: for me to attend our low and pretty big college.

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Speaker 4: I know he can afford it, and I'm not saying

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Speaker 4: I would go for it. I'm just saying it'd be

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Speaker 4: pretty easy to stick it out for another four years

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Speaker 4: for that amount of money and then ditch him a

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Speaker 4: couple ten thousands poor Ooh no, I'm gonna tell you

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Speaker 4: right now, that's a.

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Speaker 2: Terrible Yeah, gives a terrible idea.

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Speaker 7: That gives you four That gives him four more years

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Speaker 7: to like get his claws into even more.

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Speaker 2: He had to sink the hooks in there we go.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like this just doesn't you want to get

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Speaker 4: out of the situation. Four years is a long time,

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Speaker 4: so I'm almost sure that relationships over and through. Thank

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Speaker 4: you all for your help. I needed to get hit

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Speaker 4: over the head with some common sense. I hope you're

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Speaker 4: all happy and well, and we have a third update.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna get right into it. So you guys were right.

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Speaker 4: Junior looked at me as if I was insane when

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Speaker 4: I apologized for being a burden and promised i'd start

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Speaker 4: looking for another place to live. He said, if I

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Speaker 4: felt uncomfortable in any way, I'd be free to go. Otherwise,

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Speaker 4: he doesn't mind having me around.

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Speaker 7: Oh nice, that's nice.

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Speaker 2: Juniors like you can stay here. Oh wow, amazing.

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Speaker 7: I liked that Junior was the villain at first, but

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Speaker 7: he was actually a hero in disguise.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe OP was feeling like some of this. OP

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Speaker 4: was getting some misdirected energy and feelings from Junior. I

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Speaker 4: told him I didn't like being a freeloader, but that

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Speaker 4: I do like it there.

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Speaker 2: I didn't say this.

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Speaker 4: To him, but I didn't remember ever feeling that at

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Speaker 4: ease anywhere else. He told me if it was a

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Speaker 4: thing about freeloading, I could pay him rent by helping

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Speaker 4: with some chores and starting community college. While I agreed

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Speaker 4: to those terms, that sounded crazy easy, and I told

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Speaker 4: him I was looking for a job that I could

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Speaker 4: pay rent with once I had enough money. Chris heard

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Speaker 4: about my job search and helped me get a job.

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Speaker 4: He had some friends at an animal daycare that needed

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Speaker 4: extra staff. All I have to do on my shift

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Speaker 4: is take care of dogs and pet dogs and play

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Speaker 4: with dogs. I literally can't think of a better job

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Speaker 4: I could have gotten. Right now, it sounds like it

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Speaker 4: sounds like an amazing job.

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Speaker 7: Honestly, you probably needed that too, Yeah, just pure toping

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Speaker 7: me in from your job, because yeah, it.

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Speaker 2: Wasn't full time.

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Speaker 4: But eventually I made enough to give a small bit

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Speaker 4: of rent to Junior. He looked at me dead in

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Speaker 4: the eyes and handed it back, saying it was payment

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Speaker 4: for the housework that pissed me off. This went on

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Speaker 4: for two weeks and I gave up. The best I

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Speaker 4: can do is pay for groceries sometimes and stay on

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Speaker 4: track for community college. I feel like I'm definitely doing

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Speaker 4: some type of scamming, but at this point, Junior deserves it.

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Speaker 4: I tried, dude, what is your This guy's mentality is

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Speaker 4: like freaking me out. Junior is doing you a huge solid.

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Speaker 5: He likes you.

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Speaker 4: You've done nothing wrong. He's he's opened his home to you.

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Speaker 4: You're not scamming anybody.

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Speaker 7: I think he has a sense of rejection or feeling

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Speaker 7: of not being wanted. So that's why he is putting

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Speaker 7: himself down so much. Oh oh he is, Yeah, because

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Speaker 7: he's like, uh okay, uh, Like you know, if you

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Speaker 7: if you've been rejected before, you're gonna try and do

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Speaker 7: whatever you can to reject the person first, so then

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Speaker 7: you don't get to hear and know and be rejected

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Speaker 7: again and feel that pain again.

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Speaker 2: So she's probably trying to do that.

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Speaker 7: But Junior and Chris's unconditional love in this scenario is

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Speaker 7: not letting them have it. It's like, dude, you're fine,

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Speaker 7: Just like just help out her on the house. You're

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Speaker 7: you gotta get you gotta get back up on your feet.

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Speaker 7: Everyone knows you're fine.

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Speaker 6: Just take out the trash.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're nineteen, you can go to college. And I'm

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Speaker 2: sorry my dad dated you. Yeah yeah, yeah exactly. I

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Speaker 2: mean it's kind of that too, the obligation of like, man,

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Speaker 2: my dad almost ruined this guy's life. Let me try

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Speaker 2: to get him on track a little bit here. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: let him Yeah, good, dude.

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Speaker 4: We did what user flumby suggested. Port your current number

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Speaker 4: to a burner phone, change the number on your current phone,

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Speaker 4: give the burner phone to Junior, and ask him to

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Speaker 4: hide it somewhere you will never find it. Let Junior

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Speaker 4: monitor it in case Henry is planning something weird. Luckily,

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Speaker 4: my phone is one of the few things Henry didn't

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Speaker 4: pay for, and my dad still pays for my phone.

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Speaker 4: He's made no move of stopping. I'm not sure if

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00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,480
Speaker 4: that's from guilt or what, but he's fine with it.

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Speaker 4: There is some news for Henry. Apparently he's been asking

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Speaker 4: my friends where I am and they never thought about

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Speaker 4: telling me about it. I never thought he'd go that

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Speaker 4: far now since I heard he has a new boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: But here we are a good bit of my friends

311
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Speaker 4: are fine with us splitting, but some have varying views

312
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Speaker 4: on it. A couple of them have tried to convince

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Speaker 4: me that Henry at least deserves an in person explanation

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Speaker 4: and break up. Pretty Much all of them that I

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Speaker 4: didn't know before Henry have been talking that way. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: because they're more Henry's friends than yours.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, you broke Henry's heart. You have to explain it.

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Speaker 2: No, No, you don't this, Yes, get out of there.

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Speaker 2: One of them.

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Speaker 4: Jack twenty four mail short for Jack Jack Glass told

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Speaker 4: Henry where I was after Henry asked him again the Lion,

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Speaker 4: the witch and the audacity of that switch. Henry showed

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Speaker 4: up unannounced last week. We just finished taking groceries in,

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Speaker 4: so the door was still unlocked, and I don't really

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Speaker 4: know what happened after that. Junior told me to go

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Speaker 4: wait to my room and that everything would be fine.

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Speaker 4: At that point, I was too shocked and wanted to

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Speaker 4: disassociate from the situation, so I put my earbuds in

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Speaker 4: and started watching YouTube with the door closed. From what

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Speaker 4: I could hear, they were arguing, but it was all

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Speaker 4: muffled for me.

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Speaker 2: Sorry read it.

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Speaker 4: I can't give you the drama on that conversation.

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Speaker 2: I have failed you.

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Speaker 4: I didn't really realize Henry left until Junior's girlfriend, Sarah

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00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:27,440
Speaker 4: twenty eight female, showed up with takeout over dinner. She

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Speaker 4: said Junior was out somewhere finishing the conversation with Henry

338
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Speaker 4: out in public. Junior came back a bit later and

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Speaker 4: promised that Henry wouldn't be back. Cryptic is all get

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Speaker 4: out but he probably just threatened him with the cops, probably,

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Speaker 4: which is what was he threatening.

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Speaker 7: How could you threaten the cops? Hey, if you come

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Speaker 7: here again, I will get a restrain it order.

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Speaker 2: That's there, you go, that's how you do that.

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Speaker 4: I was nervous the following two days and found myself

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Speaker 4: borderlined insane with checking the peephole, the windows, and locks

347
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Speaker 4: on the windows and doors. I think Junior and Sarah

348
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Speaker 4: noticed because Sarah offered for me to hang out at

349
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,280
Speaker 4: her place, like a place Henry doesn't know the address to,

350
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,120
Speaker 4: while our place was empty. I've been doing that and

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Speaker 4: it's nice. I hope her relationship with Junior continues to

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Speaker 4: work because I really like her dog. This guy, I

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00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,560
Speaker 4: just can't get a beat on on Op's like emotional core.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't do it.

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Speaker 4: It's like these people are like like bringing him in

356
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Speaker 4: and being like, oh, yeah, you don't feel safe here,

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Speaker 4: you can live in my place, and he's like, I

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Speaker 4: hope they don't break up because I like her dog.

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Speaker 7: I think a lot of Op's life have been in

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Speaker 7: shambles and this is how they kind of think and function.

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Speaker 2: Oh they are nineteen as well.

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Speaker 7: Yeah that's fair, but I really hope they can find

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Speaker 7: a therapist or something, because it seems like they need

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Speaker 7: some work now, they.

365
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Speaker 4: Need some stability, yeah, which I think they could get

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Speaker 4: in this situation, but it does make it really weird

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Speaker 4: that they're related.

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Speaker 2: To his like creepy ex boyfriend.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Oh, if any Bridges end up burned, I'll have to

371
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Speaker 4: break in to pet him, and that's really a hassle.

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Speaker 4: I had no idea how Henry found out where I

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Speaker 4: was until Jack called me this morning to apologize. I

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00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,480
Speaker 4: don't think I'll be speaking to him again. I haven't

375
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,080
Speaker 4: told anyone yet, but I will tomorrow, and it stings

376
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:12,640
Speaker 4: a bit. I thought we were good friends. And by

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00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,639
Speaker 4: the way, if we're good friends, I just want to

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00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:19,359
Speaker 4: let you know that you can listen to other stories

379
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:24,159
Speaker 4: like this one on any of your favorite podcast platforms Spotify,

380
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,600
Speaker 4: Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio.

381
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,320
Speaker 2: Just look up Okay story.

382
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:33,080
Speaker 4: Time, find us and you'll have a plethora of stories

383
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:34,320
Speaker 4: just like this one.

384
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,280
Speaker 2: Just give him a listen.

385
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,480
Speaker 4: So, before we finish this story, we've kind of sprinkled

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00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,320
Speaker 4: in our takes throughout. I think we're kind of at

387
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:45,439
Speaker 4: a place where really, the only thing I would like

388
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,840
Speaker 4: to see is op sort of waking up and realizing,

389
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,879
Speaker 4: oh my god, like these people actually they're people that

390
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,800
Speaker 4: care about me and want to do right by me

391
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,159
Speaker 4: instead of I don't know, kind of I feel like

392
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Speaker 4: OPI's operating a little selfishly or a little maybe not selfish,

393
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,320
Speaker 4: but just like thoughtlessly. Like OP needs to be a

394
00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:07,359
Speaker 4: little more thoughtful about what the others other people around

395
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,639
Speaker 4: him are doing instead of just being like, well, I

396
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,639
Speaker 4: don't know. I guess they deserve it. They deserve to

397
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,520
Speaker 4: be scammed. It's like, no, no, no, these are people who.

398
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,040
Speaker 2: Just like I want to see you do well. Yeah,

399
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,240
Speaker 2: like and please get a therapist. They'll be yes, And

400
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,159
Speaker 2: you're using nineteen very young, so young, nineteen. God, I

401
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,679
Speaker 2: was so stupid when I was nineteen.

402
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,800
Speaker 4: Chris talked me into doing some online therapy about him

403
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:28,480
Speaker 4: on a half ago.

404
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,800
Speaker 2: Let's go, hey, ohye, look at that. Dreams come true.

405
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,720
Speaker 4: It's been good. He says it's free because of some charity,

406
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:41,000
Speaker 4: but I'm calling bs. He's definitely paying. I'll just have

407
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 4: to work harder to get my life on track to

408
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 4: make sure he's won. And that is the end of

409
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:46,840
Speaker 4: that story.

410
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,320
Speaker 2: Ope, you deserve to be loved.

411
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:50,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like, maybe Op is getting that from

412
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,159
Speaker 4: his own upbringing, his own household, because I know he

413
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 4: said the stuff with his dad's really not good. So

414
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,880
Speaker 4: I bet growing up his dad always made it out

415
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,919
Speaker 4: where it's like nothing's given, every thing's earned, like you

416
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 4: have to pay for it, pay.

417
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,200
Speaker 2: Your way, you conal right, exactly.

418
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,639
Speaker 4: So now he's like in an environment where people are

419
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,320
Speaker 4: just like, no, I just want to help you. He's like, yeah,

420
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 4: but do you really, I mean, I'll pay you stupid,

421
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:16,639
Speaker 4: And he's like, you literally don't have to hear nineteen, Yeah,

422
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:20,119
Speaker 4: and you have no job, Like dude, that really turned around.

423
00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:22,880
Speaker 2: That was so nice. Yeah, that's a good story. That's good.

424
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 4: And I mean, you can't say never, but I would

425
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,879
Speaker 4: say the overwhelming majority of the time, if you have

426
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 4: an age gap that large, wely examine that relationship, especially

427
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 4: if you're that young, you might not be able to

428
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,439
Speaker 4: see the red flags that others would be able to

429
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 4: pick up immediately.

430
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Speaker 7: We took in a troubled teen, but now his room

431
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,639
Speaker 7: is an absolute disaster.

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Speaker 2: It just sounds like a normal teen to me. I

433
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Speaker 2: don't know.

434
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 7: Six months ago, a family and my wife's thirty female

435
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 7: in my thirty male church was leaving the state. Their son,

436
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,200
Speaker 7: eighteen mal who will call Fred, was very against what's

437
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,880
Speaker 7: the change and pushed against his family's decision to leave.

438
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,160
Speaker 7: I have been I've been a mentor to this kid

439
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 7: since he was sixteen. His family left anyway and believe

440
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,920
Speaker 7: it and believing that the eighteen year olds are adults

441
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 7: left him without the resources to support himself.

442
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:18,639
Speaker 2: Wow.

443
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 3: Trash.

444
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,919
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from O and Gt. Techy

445
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,600
Speaker 7: on the r slash Okay story tom So Bredditt. So,

446
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 7: my wife and I live in a larger house nearly

447
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 7: four thousand square feet in a major metropolitan city where

448
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,639
Speaker 7: we had already put together an incredible suite for guests

449
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:42,199
Speaker 7: the room. The room includes a bathroom, TV area, furnishing,

450
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 7: and a kitchenette. Naturally, we offered this room to Fred.

451
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,880
Speaker 7: We drafted up alice for the room, with common areas

452
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:54,520
Speaker 7: being the home, gym, theater, kitchen, dining room, everywhere but

453
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 7: our bedroom and offices.

454
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 6: Wow.

455
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:00,680
Speaker 7: Out of the principle, I want him to pay something

456
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 7: for rent, but he knew he couldn't afford the typical

457
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 7: one bedroom rent in the area eighteen hundred plus, so

458
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 7: rent was set at two hundred bucks. Fred works one

459
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 7: day a week at a local grocery store and pays

460
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 7: rent relevantly on time. One time he was two months late.

461
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,040
Speaker 7: Due to his situation, we have become like pseudo parents

462
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 7: to him, teaching him how to use a lawnmower, teaching

463
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 7: him how to cook for himself, how to fix his car,

464
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 7: and helping him with his resume, to name a few.

465
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 7: He is using this period to find himself and is

466
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,880
Speaker 7: constantly asking for life advice. We enjoy helping him out.

467
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 7: About three months in, I notice ants near his door.

468
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 7: In the process of terminating the ants, I noticed his

469
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 7: room is incredibly dirty, food and garbage everywhere. I reminded

470
00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 7: him of a clause in the lease where a waste forbidden,

471
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,400
Speaker 7: and after threats of eviction were brought up, I helped

472
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 7: him clean his room, with me doing the vast majority

473
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 7: of the work. Two days ago, he left his door open.

474
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 7: I could smell spoiling food from the other side of

475
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,680
Speaker 7: the house. I try to locate the source and I'm

476
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 7: shocked by the state he leaves it in. Food everywhere,

477
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,919
Speaker 7: with most of the boxes containing half of their original contents.

478
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 7: Many of these takeout items purchased weeks prior now, God,

479
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 7: here's the rub. I'm legally his landlord, but I am

480
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,679
Speaker 7: paying the role of an uncle or adopted father or

481
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 7: something if I vict He's homeless and he can't afford

482
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 7: anything here. This appears to be a mental health issue.

483
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 7: He doesn't apply himself to get a better job, works

484
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 7: one day a week, no girlfriend, slish boyfriend, and lives

485
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 7: in squalor. I've only seen in rslash neck Beard's nest.

486
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 2: Wow.

487
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, I gotta say that earlier when I said that

488
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,919
Speaker 4: it just sounds like a teenager to me, this is

489
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 4: not that's not just a normal teenager.

490
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,159
Speaker 7: I want him to be happy and healthy, but I

491
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,960
Speaker 7: also don't want my house to be in jeopardy of

492
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:21,159
Speaker 7: pest infestation, horrific smells, and other damage. How can I

493
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 7: approach him and resolve this issue? We have an update.

494
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:28,159
Speaker 7: I think we already let's dig into it update, So

495
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,040
Speaker 7: without further ado, the update is not a good one.

496
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 7: After I posted, I took Fred to a local fair

497
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 7: earth Day where we could get junk food and watch

498
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:43,119
Speaker 7: some remote control boat racing, look at some plants, and talk.

499
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,919
Speaker 7: I sat him down and discussed that there needs to

500
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 7: be significant changes. I explained that he was damaging my

501
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 7: property and it was hurting me emotionally to watch him

502
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:57,120
Speaker 7: suffer and clutter and filth. I told him that within

503
00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,679
Speaker 7: the next two weeks he needs to seek out a

504
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 7: fairpist to talk to due to his perceived paranoria about

505
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 7: his mom and dad. Learning what he tells the therapist.

506
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 7: I explained to him that the therapist would not legally

507
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 7: be able to discuss anything with me, his parents, or

508
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 7: anyone on earth. Furthermore, I told him that if he

509
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 7: does this, I would be willing to completely wave rent.

510
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 7: Fred agreed to seek therapy. Three days later, he got

511
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:30,120
Speaker 7: into a car crash while texting and driving.

512
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 2: Oh no, he was about to be on the upswing.

513
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 2: And now see that's why you don't text and drive.

514
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 7: He seems he just needs to hit rock bottom. Sadly

515
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,239
Speaker 7: for him to come Well, he hits something. Luckily no

516
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 7: one was hurt. Fred's car, however, was not as fortunate. Well,

517
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 7: thank god, no one was hurt.

518
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 4: And I just want to say that this It sounds

519
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 4: like that Op has gone about this the perfect way,

520
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 4: the best way he can in terms of how to

521
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 4: approach that, and now all that's left is if he's

522
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 4: going to reciprocate.

523
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 7: Initially, I thought this may be good for him. He

524
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 7: he was working one day per week at a large

525
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 7: chain grocery store that was located one and a half

526
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 7: hours away from the house.

527
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 2: Why would you do that? Fred showed zero.

528
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,640
Speaker 7: Initiative to transfer stores, so I thought this would force

529
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 7: him to get a local job. I also thought without

530
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 7: the car, he can focus on himself. This thesis would

531
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 7: be proven to be incorrect.

532
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 4: I like the scientific lingo there, because he's grown this.

533
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 4: Fred is probably growing science experiments in his room.

534
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,640
Speaker 7: He's taking these people and not grateful. He's taking everything

535
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 7: for granted.

536
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 6: I think that's true.

537
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 4: But also we got to consider this guy's gone through

538
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 4: like a lot of trauma from his own family.

539
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 2: Probably probably, Yeah, And that's what we see.

540
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,360
Speaker 4: This definitely is a result of like unresolved mental health

541
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 4: issues and like abandonment and neglect. Like can you imagine,

542
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,640
Speaker 4: like can you imagine they get he got home alone? Yea,

543
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 4: his parents his family just like up and moved and

544
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,400
Speaker 4: gave him nothing, did nothing for.

545
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 2: Him, and he was just like, you're eighteen, that would

546
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 2: mess me up, dude.

547
00:25:58,760 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 5: True.

548
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,959
Speaker 7: Well, three weeks pass and the situation has gotten far worse.

549
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 7: He doesn't leave his room. He hasn't gotten a therapist,

550
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 7: no job, and he has stopped bathing. He only leaves

551
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 7: the house to pick up fast food, where he will

552
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 7: sit in the store for hours simply watching people. There

553
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 7: was a noticeable smell beginning to emanate from that wing

554
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 7: of the house. To address this with him and further

555
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 7: assess what I can do for him, I invite him

556
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 7: out to lunch. As we get into my car to

557
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,919
Speaker 7: drive to lunch, Fred informs me that he has to

558
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 7: go clean out his totaled vehicle within the next two

559
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 7: hours or they are sending it to the scrapyard. I

560
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 7: learned that the shop has been threatening this for the

561
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 7: past week, but Fred didn't think that the repair shop

562
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 7: was serious and stopped taking their calls. This guy's is

563
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 7: not getting it.

564
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 2: Fred's got a lot to learn, that's for sure.

565
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 7: We change course and get to the repair shop and

566
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 7: I drop him off near his car to let him

567
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 7: gather his belongings. I spend about thirty minutes like at

568
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 7: the new car offerings, text him to see if he

569
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 7: needs help. No, I'm almost done. I walked back to

570
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 7: my car watched a documentary for another half hour and

571
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 7: text him again almost done. I turn on another YouTube

572
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 7: documentary it concludes and I text him again, you can

573
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 7: pull around so we can You can pull around so

574
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,919
Speaker 7: we can load the trunk. I pull into the repair.

575
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 7: I pull into the repair parking lot and do not

576
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,879
Speaker 7: immediately see him by his car. I park only to

577
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,919
Speaker 7: find a group of mechanics talking with each other. I

578
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 7: asked to see if they've seen Fred. They pointed over

579
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 7: to the curb where Fred was in a fetal position,

580
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,679
Speaker 7: sobbing hysterically. I asked Fred if he was okay, thinking

581
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,679
Speaker 7: he was her no response. I asked Fred if he

582
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 7: needed help. He asked me to move his belongings from

583
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 7: his car to mind. What I found in his car

584
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 7: was shocking food debris, half eaten chicken, nuggets, drinks, burgers,

585
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 7: and other fast food items piled in his car to

586
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 7: an extent that showed me how exactly severe the situation

587
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 7: inside of its head is. The food was power from

588
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,199
Speaker 7: floor to the seats in the passenger seat and in

589
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 7: the rear seats suv. The mess continued to the trunk.

590
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 7: The smell is what I imagine heck to be like.

591
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 7: Remember these food items, most of which months old and

592
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 7: now have been baking in a car under the May

593
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 7: Florida sun.

594
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 4: So I'm gonna go ahead and say executive decision here.

595
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,119
Speaker 4: Everything in that car is going to the scrapyard.

596
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 7: I dug through the filth to find his belongings, clothes,

597
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 7: a toolbox, anime, corn and the like. He was still

598
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 7: in hysterics.

599
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that the important thing here is not

600
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 2: the stuff in his car. You need to be like,

601
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 2: like you're you're having a full blown breakdown on the curb, Like,

602
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 2: let's get you somewhere.

603
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 4: Forget what's in the car. It's not important. Whatever's in

604
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 4: there is clearly not important. It's underneath a mountain of

605
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 4: fast food trash, So it doesn't matter. Dude, We're just

606
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 4: getting you out of here. This just like this breaks

607
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 4: my heart to see it.

608
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 2: Does. You can tell that his.

609
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 7: Growing up with his family was not like good at all,

610
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 7: and this mentor is trying to, like, you know, be

611
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 7: as much submission, be as much emotional support as he can.

612
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 7: But he can only do so much. Yeah, he's already

613
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 7: given him a lot. I think that every kid should

614
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 7: grow up going to the sawmill and working hard so

615
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:28,719
Speaker 7: they can become a great person.

616
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 4: There is something too hard work, working a job that

617
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 4: is hard that instills character in a way that like

618
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 4: few things can like in a way that's like guaranteed.

619
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 7: Almost After gathering what I could find, I asked him

620
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 7: to double check my work. Then he approached me at

621
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 7: the front of the car and took and took off

622
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 7: one of the windshield ripers to remember the car. Fred

623
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 7: then asked me to get him his socket wrench, said

624
00:29:56,520 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 7: that he could take the spare tire. I put my down,

625
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 7: explaining that the spare probably won't fit his next car

626
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 7: and that I would not allow a tire to be

627
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 7: stored in my house.

628
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 2: He saw more.

629
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 7: I called my wife so that she could confirm that

630
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 7: I wasn't being an a hole, which she did, and

631
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 7: I told him it was time to leave. We left

632
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 7: and went to lunch in silence after the four hour ordeal.

633
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 2: It's like taking the spare tire and the windshield wiper

634
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 2: to remember the car. Yeah, you can just remember the car.

635
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 2: I remember every car I ever had.

636
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 7: Yeah. After picking up food and returning home, I sat

637
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 7: Fred down and explained that he isn't healthy. He hasn't

638
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 7: found a job, he hasn't sought out therapy, as he

639
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 7: agreed to, even after I found a therapist for him

640
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 7: and sent him the intake forms two weeks prior, and

641
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 7: that I suspect his room is in the same disarray

642
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 7: as his car. He denied this. I informed him that

643
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 7: I would be inspecting his room in forty eight hours

644
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 7: per the lease. What I found in Fred's room was horrifying.

645
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 7: It was, as I suspected, trashed food containers piled over

646
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 7: his bed, a small path he could get to the door.

647
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 7: I told him he has a week to clean it up,

648
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 7: as well as a drafted up formal notice of the situation.

649
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 7: Fred did not clean his room within the week, and

650
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 7: I informed him that I will be reaching out to

651
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 7: his parents and evicting him if he did not move

652
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 7: out by the end of the month May. He cried

653
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 7: in response, his parents were shocked. I put quotes around

654
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 7: this because I fail to believe they were not aware

655
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,479
Speaker 7: of his mental health and tendencies prior to leaving Fred

656
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 7: to live here, especially when the issues are so substantial.

657
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 7: As his father was coming down, Fred ran away. He

658
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 7: took an uber and was missing for twenty four hours.

659
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 7: Fred eventually came home two hours prior to his father's arrival,

660
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 7: and as in anticipated, his room was barely packed. So

661
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 7: his father and I cleaned out his room. As it

662
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 7: turned out, I was only seeing about half of the

663
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 7: debris in his room. His dresser, night stand, under the bed,

664
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 7: the claws that all were packed with food.

665
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 4: Oh my god, God, I wonder if this is why

666
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 4: the did the parents leave him because he was doing this.

667
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 7: We don't know.

668
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 6: I don't know.

669
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 7: I think I think they were also like shocked. They

670
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 7: were like, what, I will never eat Pope's chicken ever again?

671
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 7: The four ooh, the four month old barely consumed chicken

672
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 7: bucket in the dresser is too much of an experience

673
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 7: for me to handle. There were two liter bottles of urine.

674
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 5: Oh my god.

675
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 7: Whenever I was an ra, they said, if you ever

676
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 7: see like your urine in bottles, you need to inform

677
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 7: someone immediately because that signs of on it like mental

678
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 7: health issues, and like potential essay or not.

679
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 2: Essay, potential s yes s h SA.

680
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 7: My wife had purchased vere Bradley's house for the bathroom

681
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 7: he was using. I didn't have the heart to tell

682
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,239
Speaker 7: her that a few were just thrown away as they

683
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 7: were covered in biological waste. The carpet new to the

684
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 7: room crunched under the feet and was covered in pizza toppings, sauce,

685
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 7: and similar drippings. His father cried through the process. I

686
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 7: peeped twice. Fred frantically packed his belongings, including had a

687
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 7: secretive box he didn't want us to touch or lift

688
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 7: to a van on history. I will never know the

689
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 7: answer to.

690
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 6: Okay, well, at least there's a little bit of humor there.

691
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 2: I guess he's got his secret. Don't touch that box, no, no, no, uh.

692
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 2: It's like that's the thing you're worried about.

693
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 4: You're not more ashamed of, like you know, the the

694
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,959
Speaker 4: four month old bucket of chicken inside of your dresser.

695
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 2: We're like that.

696
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 7: Your carpet floor is now just pete stoppings.

697
00:33:56,560 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 2: This is somebody who like needs or they're gonna be destitute.

698
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 2: He won't be able to live anywhere. He's gonna be homeless.

699
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 2: He's he won't He can't take care of himself like

700
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 2: he needs he needs help. He needs intervention.

701
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 7: Yeah, and op Tom and Tom again has given its home.

702
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 7: But Fred is not doing it. He's not doing it

703
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 7: for himself. So there's nothing you can do there.

704
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 4: At this point, like I think, Ope, can't do anything.

705
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 4: The family needs to take care of their child.

706
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:25,360
Speaker 7: Eviction was successful. I offer to pay for his college

707
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 7: if Fred begins therapy. His parents kicked him out soon

708
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 7: after he returned home, and he is living alone in

709
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 7: a trailer in Royal, Ohio Woods. That is his that

710
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 7: his parents bought for him.

711
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 4: See again again, you know what right there, that's his

712
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 4: parents failing him. That is not gonna help him, That

713
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,320
Speaker 4: is gonna make everything worse.

714
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,799
Speaker 7: College started a few weeks ago, and I didn't have

715
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,840
Speaker 7: to pay as he still has not attended therapy. But

716
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 7: you can pay us a visit on every podcast platform

717
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 7: that you listen to. Just search up Okay story Tom

718
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 7: via Spotify, Apple Podcast, wherever you the pods, because we're

719
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 7: there with.

720
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 2: Stories not as house hoardary.

721
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:07,760
Speaker 4: Is this yeah, no, this is one of the most

722
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 4: like gross sort of horder stories.

723
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 2: We don't use. Yeah, they're not usually this gross, but

724
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 2: we do have a plethora of stories for you.

725
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:16,239
Speaker 7: Yeah, so they're come and come and check it out.

726
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,839
Speaker 2: But this is on the grosser side for sure.

727
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 7: I almost gaged twice. Parents failed them. Yeah, I still

728
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 7: think this is on Fred. He should at least have

729
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 7: some sense of accountability to make himself a better person.

730
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:30,759
Speaker 7: But he's just denying it.

731
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 4: I think it's just mental health crisis. I mean, I

732
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 4: agree with that sentiment.

733
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 2: It's like, at the end of the day, it is

734
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 2: up to Fred to make active changes in his life,

735
00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 2: but there's something like preventing him from doing it. Yeah,

736
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 2: it's it'd be like if it's like, yeah, I have

737
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:46,840
Speaker 2: to work, my arms are weak, I need to like

738
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 2: lift weights. But it's like if your forearm is broken,

739
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 2: it's like you can't lift weights even if you need to. Well,

740
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 2: you gotta you gotta fix the arm first and then

741
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 2: you can live.

742
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:02,680
Speaker 7: But like, if I have the broken arm and working

743
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 7: out in this situation is having a better life. I'm

744
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 7: going to go in my forum's broken. I'm going to

745
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 7: go to a doctor, a therapist for him an example.

746
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 2: To fix that.

747
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 7: But I have to take myself to that therapist to

748
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 7: fix it.

749
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 2: See, he's not taking himself to do it. True.

750
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 7: I understand that there is something probably blocking him from

751
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 7: understanding that, but you still have to take that step

752
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 7: in order to do it. He knows what the right

753
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 7: thing to do is.

754
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 2: And from the parents dude, I really don't know if

755
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 2: he does.

756
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 4: I think I think we're missing a lot of context

757
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 4: from his upbringing in their parents, but just given the

758
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 4: fact that they like after taking him back right the

759
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 4: dad's crying cleaning up his trashed room brings him back

760
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 4: into their home immediately kicks him out, throws him in

761
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 4: a trailer in the woods. That is not going to

762
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,799
Speaker 4: make him better. They're just like out of sight, out

763
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 4: of mind. So I think he just thinks no one

764
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 4: cares about him, so why should care about himself.

765
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 7: We have sins cleaned the room, replaced the bed and

766
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 7: much of the furniture. I totally forgot where your story

767
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 7: in this one. The carpet had to be specially treated

768
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 7: and probably would have been better if replaced entirely. Thousands

769
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 7: of dollars, emotional trauma, lots of learning, and an absolute

770
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 7: repulsion too fast food are my takeaway. He doesn't respond

771
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 7: to my text, and I can only assume that I

772
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 7: am now a bad guy in his life story. I

773
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 7: really wish him the best, and my heart breaks for

774
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 7: him even when I think about this situation. Early this month,

775
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 7: we received a missed addressed Amazon package for him, A

776
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 7: massive package of sauce concentrate for restaurants.

777
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:42,319
Speaker 3: Oh what is that?

778
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 4: So he's ordering like Chickfli sauce, Like yeah, but it's

779
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 4: like the concentrate, so it's like it's not the actual sauce.

780
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 4: It's like concentrated. So you mix that with more like water.

781
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 2: It's like gatorade mix.

782
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 4: It's like he's buying like industrial quantities of sauce. So

783
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 4: it's probably, like I said, trailer in the middle of

784
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 4: the woods, not a good good thing for Fred.

785
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 7: And I know and I know he probably reached guy

786
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 7: like super obese during this time.

787
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:16,839
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I assume he's not in I assume he's overweight. Yes,

788
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 2: oh my god.

789
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, and again again, I don't know how much of

790
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 4: this will make it or how much of my comments

791
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 4: about like sort of I don't know if it's fifty

792
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:27,360
Speaker 4: one fifty.

793
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 6: Or what it's called.

794
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 4: When it's like a sort of psychiatric intervention, but like

795
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 4: he needs serious help. Like very seldom would I say

796
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 4: the right thing to do is to force someone to

797
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 4: get help, but like this might be the one time

798
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 4: since I've started reading these stories where I would advocate

799
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 4: for that. Yeah, because he's just like I mean, he's

800
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 4: he's essentially like eating himself to death or like or

801
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 4: like squaloring it, because it's like it's it's not like

802
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 4: the mold, the fungus, like who knows what's growing in

803
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:03,320
Speaker 4: that trailer right now, and it's like he's just languishing

804
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,400
Speaker 4: and his parents don't seem to care, which is insane.

805
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,320
Speaker 3: Sam, Here, we're gonna get back to the stories.

806
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,399
Speaker 2: But here's three of its bad from our sponsors.

807
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 7: I want nothing to do with my partner's sister. She

808
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 7: outright hates me.

809
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 2: But yeah, that sounds about right.

810
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 7: Nothing a little girls trip can't fix. I, twenty four female,

811
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 7: have been with my partner, let's call him Mike, thirty

812
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 7: mail for the last seven years. We have no children together,

813
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 7: but have been living together for the past five years

814
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 7: and last year buying our first home. All Right, the

815
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:38,319
Speaker 7: first year of our relationship, I had no contact with

816
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 7: his family, as I was worried they would think of

817
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 7: my age eighteen At the time. When I would eventually

818
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 7: meet them, it was Christmas Day and I was invited

819
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,840
Speaker 7: for their family game night and drinks, and they seem

820
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,760
Speaker 7: so lovely and even had a gift for me. Everyone

821
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 7: there except his sister in law, who was spending her

822
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 7: last Christmas at home with her family as she was

823
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 7: regnant and would be starting her own family tradition with

824
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:07,759
Speaker 7: Mike's brother John next year. By the way, this comes

825
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 7: from Blue Lagoons two thousand on the r slash okay

826
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,919
Speaker 7: story tom subreddit. So I met his sister in law

827
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:17,320
Speaker 7: let's call her Annie, twenty nine female on New Year's

828
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 7: and she was.

829
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,360
Speaker 2: Very cold towards me.

830
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 7: I pushed this aside as I assumed it was her

831
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 7: keeping her guard up, as she looked at Mike as

832
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 7: a brother and was protective of him. Fast forward three

833
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 7: months into meeting his family, now a year and a

834
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 7: half together, his sister let's call her Agatha twenty eight female,

835
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 7: and mom let's call her Janis fifty two female, mentioned

836
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 7: that Annie wasn't very talkative to me and wanted to

837
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 7: know if I had noticed it or if I had cared.

838
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 7: I said I had noticed, but just assumed that that's

839
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 7: how she was, and she was pregnant, so it could

840
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 7: be hormonal, but I didn't put a pass on it.

841
00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 7: As Mike said, it takes her a while to open up,

842
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 7: but once she does, I'll love her as she's very

843
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 7: like me and my family conspiracy theory. She wanted Mike's baby,

844
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 7: not John's.

845
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 6: Oh that's a good one.

846
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 7: His mom and Agatha laughed at this and said, we

847
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 7: think it's the age thing Annie has an issue with.

848
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 7: This didn't sit well with me, so I told Mike

849
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 7: later that day and we went home, and he was

850
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,279
Speaker 7: so shocked that they had said that, as Annie and

851
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 7: John had a five year gap, so he doesn't see

852
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 7: how she'd have an issue with our age gap being

853
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,359
Speaker 7: six years.

854
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 2: Which that's honestly not even that weird of an age

855
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 2: gap at because I mean, it'd be like it depends

856
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,760
Speaker 2: on the ages for that to be weird.

857
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:49,399
Speaker 7: So she twenty four and thirty. What is twenty four

858
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:50,400
Speaker 7: minus eighteen.

859
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 2: Twenty four minus eighteen, No, no, no six.

860
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 7: So he was twenty four and she was eighteen when

861
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 7: they met, So it was like me getting with an

862
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:57,839
Speaker 7: eighteen year old.

863
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:01,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that ken be Kennon, that's wow.

864
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 7: But they can't say anything because John that was twenty

865
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 7: four got together with a nineteen year old.

866
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:10,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's exactly. It's like there's and it's hard

867
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 2: like age gap stuff, it's hard, weird, it's hard to know,

868
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 2: it's every situation is different.

869
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 7: Over months, Agatha and Jennie kept mentioning Annie to me,

870
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 7: saying how she really doesn't like me, and how she

871
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 7: said she didn't want me around her new baby as

872
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 7: I was a stranger and basically a kid myself. But

873
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 7: she blames me for Mike and his ex partner splitting up,

874
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 7: and she wished I would f off so Mike and

875
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 7: his ex could get back together and make everyone else happy.

876
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 7: We got the real motive here. The real problem is

877
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:46,319
Speaker 7: Annie wants Mark to.

878
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 2: Get back with his ex. Yes, yeah, this family is wild.

879
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 7: I am now going to add periods and commos as

880
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 7: Opie has not provided them. Obviously, this upset me, but

881
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 7: I told Janis and Agatha that it's her decision and

882
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 7: if that's how she feels, I can't change her mind.

883
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 7: I will be polite to her, but not to make

884
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 7: an effort for a friendship. I told Mike what was said,

885
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:15,280
Speaker 7: and he was not happy. He mentioned to John about

886
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 7: it all and John and John's reply was they are

887
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 7: two very different people. Why force them to get along

888
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,719
Speaker 7: if they don't want to. This caused a tiff and

889
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 7: Mike took a step back from John and Anne and

890
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:31,360
Speaker 7: their new baby Eve.

891
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 4: That is a weird take to be like someone who's

892
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:38,120
Speaker 4: like in your family, essentially just being like no, just

893
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:40,440
Speaker 4: let him not like each other. We don't want any peace.

894
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 4: I don't want peace. I want problems always.

895
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, why are we doing this?

896
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 7: Like what the heck?

897
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:47,839
Speaker 2: I don't like that. It's a bad take.

898
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 4: It's just a take of like now we don't care,

899
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:51,439
Speaker 4: And honestly, I feel like he doesn't like him either,

900
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 4: just because of that, Like oh yeah.

901
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 2: Oh, I know.

902
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 7: I felt awful about the situation, but appreciated Mike standing

903
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 7: up for me. During this time, I had grown very

904
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 7: close with Agatha and Janice and would call down to

905
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 7: them on my days off work, even if Mike wasn't

906
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:11,320
Speaker 7: with me. Fast forward a couple more months, Mike and

907
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:14,919
Speaker 7: John mend their relationship, but stay distant as they don't

908
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 7: want Annie and myself in awkward situations. The virus hit

909
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 7: and Mike and I decided to leave our home and

910
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 7: move states in with his mom and dad, Jim still

911
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 7: paying rent in our home. Agatha and her husband Alan

912
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:34,800
Speaker 7: twenty eight mel and son Alfie also live with Janice

913
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 7: and Jim, so we're all here in a bubble together.

914
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 7: This made myself, Agatha, and Janis even closer than before,

915
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 7: basically best friends. We would spend so much time together, laughing,

916
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 7: playing game nights, movie nights, paper knights, everything. I honestly

917
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:57,360
Speaker 7: felt so loved and welcome into their family. During this time, John,

918
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 7: Annie and Eve would come over for dinner every Thursday night,

919
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,839
Speaker 7: with Annie and Eve coming up to spend the day

920
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 7: with us girls in Alfie. Agatha started making sly remarks

921
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:11,239
Speaker 7: to me about Annie that made me feel uncomfortable. She

922
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 7: would say, here comes our bestie and laugh, or here

923
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 7: comes the only mother in the world because she worked

924
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 7: in childcare. I never responded, as I didn't understand why

925
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 7: she would say anything, as myself and Annie weren't really

926
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 7: on talking terms, but never made it awkward for anyone else.

927
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 7: I mentioned all this to Mike and he agreed that

928
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:36,520
Speaker 7: there's no need to say anything and told me.

929
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,400
Speaker 2: To just be careful with Agatha.

930
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:42,319
Speaker 7: She can stir crap all right. Mike and I moved

931
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 7: back home, but we all continued going for Thursday dinner

932
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 7: nights as a family. During this time, I noticed Alan

933
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,799
Speaker 7: was being quite rude to me. I ignored it and

934
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 7: continued on with life, not thinking much as I had

935
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 7: only seen him once a week. Come November, lockdown hit

936
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:01,960
Speaker 7: again and we decided to move back in with his family,

937
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:05,279
Speaker 7: but this time Mike was still working, so it would

938
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,360
Speaker 7: mean I'd be with his family alone during the days.

939
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 7: No issues with this at all. I just thought I

940
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:14,360
Speaker 7: had a great relationship with them. Alan would pick on

941
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 7: me during the day, but he would be so lovely

942
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 7: when Mike was around. He would call me names, make

943
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 7: fun of my appearance, and bring up things from my

944
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 7: family regarding how my siblings passed away what over the

945
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 7: next Over the few weeks we stayed there, it started

946
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,239
Speaker 7: to take a huge toll on my mental health, and

947
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:35,760
Speaker 7: Mike began noticing this, but didn't know what was happening

948
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 7: as I didn't want to tell him to keep the peace.

949
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 7: One Wednesday, myself, Agatha, and Alan Or sat down on

950
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:47,560
Speaker 7: the couch, chatting away about my childhood and how it

951
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 7: was strange that my hometown is Mike's dad's hometown but

952
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:54,840
Speaker 7: we never crossed paths. When Alan turned around and asked,

953
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 7: which part of the story did your sister get sick

954
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,959
Speaker 7: of looking at you? And she decided to finish herself.

955
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 2: Number fourteen, number fourteen for this guy. Now, this guy.

956
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 2: Very seldom do I advocate like the Muhammad Ali.

957
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 4: Just quick, just a quick straight right, just a quick

958
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:19,240
Speaker 4: straight right, pop him in the mouth.

959
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 6: That's crazy.

960
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 7: I was so taken aback by this and expected Agatha

961
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 7: or Janis to say something, but instead they just laughed,

962
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 7: like he told the funniest joke.

963
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:30,239
Speaker 2: You know.

964
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:33,239
Speaker 7: Dakota was right. Dakota called this from the start. He

965
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 7: had a gut feeling that this was weird and his

966
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 7: family had something wrong with him. And I was like,

967
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:41,839
Speaker 7: I don't see anything, but this man, this man right here,

968
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 7: he freaking called it.

969
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 2: He knew.

970
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:47,280
Speaker 4: I wish I didn't because that this is so terrible.

971
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 4: He knew these people are trash. I left the room

972
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 4: and went to our bedroom and sobbed. I could not

973
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,880
Speaker 4: believe he said that, but I especially couldn't believe they laughed.

974
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:00,240
Speaker 4: I stayed in the room the rest of the day,

975
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 4: and so Mike came home. When he asked where I was,

976
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 4: they lied and said I told them I was going

977
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:08,120
Speaker 4: for a walk. Mike soon came up to find me

978
00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 4: and saw how extremely upset I was. When I told

979
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 4: him what happened. He wanted to go and confront Alan,

980
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 4: but I begged him to leave it to keep the peace,

981
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 4: so we left the house and went to Annie and

982
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 4: John's house. To bear in mind, Annie and I were

983
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 4: still not on really good speaking terms, so it was

984
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 4: awkward at first. John and Mike went out to John's

985
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,880
Speaker 4: home gym so Mike could cool off some anger, so

986
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,840
Speaker 4: I was left with Annie. She seemed to notice something

987
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,319
Speaker 4: was up and began asking questions when I broke down

988
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:41,320
Speaker 4: and opened up to her about everything that had happened

989
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,080
Speaker 4: and what had been said. Okay, two things are about

990
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:45,760
Speaker 4: to happen here. One she's about to be an evil

991
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 4: person or two the same thing happened to Annie. Thus

992
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:52,320
Speaker 4: that's why she's been on the outskirts. I hope Annie

993
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 4: is like, Okay, yeah, this is if they all they

994
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 4: because they all suck. Yes, this all this makes sense

995
00:48:58,040 --> 00:49:00,439
Speaker 4: because they all suck and I love you. They really

996
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 4: really want that to be what happens next to my sourbris.

997
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:06,319
Speaker 7: She left when I mentioned what Janis and Agatha had

998
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 7: said about her. Turns out they were doing the same

999
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 7: thing to her about me and had told her I

1000
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 7: was a one night stand Mike brought home on Christmas Day,

1001
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 7: and when they told me Annie had eve, I apparently said,

1002
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 7: the poor child, imagine having an unfit mother like her.

1003
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 7: Myself and Andy ended up having a full heart to

1004
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 7: heart conversation about everything and realized that Agatha and Janis

1005
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 7: were trying to turn us against one another so the

1006
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 7: boys would no longer be friends slash on speaking terms,

1007
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 7: Holy freaking crap.

1008
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 4: Dude, imagine being exposed this hard like you're you're imagine

1009
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 4: having your devious plot just completely put out in the

1010
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,800
Speaker 4: open organically because you're just so awful.

1011
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 2: They can't help but like talk to each other about it, and.

1012
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,320
Speaker 4: They're like, wait a minute, Well they said some awful

1013
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 4: stuff about you to me.

1014
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, that's not real. Yeah, none of that

1015
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 2: is true. I didn't say any of that.

1016
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's like, man, dude, that's crazy. Fast forward a

1017
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,160
Speaker 7: few years later, Any and myself were best friends, and

1018
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:16,399
Speaker 7: Agatha and Janis are not happy about it so much

1019
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 7: that they kept making up lies and dragging us into

1020
00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:22,920
Speaker 7: arguments we weren't involved in. We tried to keep the

1021
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 7: peace and went on a family holiday, Me Mike, Annie,

1022
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 7: John and their two kids, even Eva Janis and Jim,

1023
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 7: Agatha Allen and their two kids, Alfie and Chase. We

1024
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 7: had lots planned and everyone was getting on, and everyone

1025
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:40,320
Speaker 7: was getting on when Agatha decided to have a temper

1026
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:43,280
Speaker 7: tantrum because she wanted to go on to an Indian

1027
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 7: restaurant and most of us wanted to go to an

1028
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 7: Italian restaurant for food. I turned to Mike and said,

1029
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,640
Speaker 7: I don't like Indian food, so I'm not gonna go.

1030
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:53,840
Speaker 7: But he was more than welcome to go, and I

1031
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 7: will stay back at the hotel to have food and

1032
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:58,919
Speaker 7: drinks and we'll catch up with everyone after. By the way,

1033
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:01,640
Speaker 7: you can catch up with us because we have stories

1034
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:05,720
Speaker 7: just like this on our podcast platforms Spotify, Apple, whatever

1035
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 7: you listen to your podcast on, just search. Okay, story

1036
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 7: time for stories like this. But we have a little

1037
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 7: bit left. What are we thinking here?

1038
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 4: I'm thinking lifelong best friends with Annie yep and with

1039
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:26,000
Speaker 4: the good members and literally just nothing to the bad members.

1040
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,360
Speaker 2: Don't go out of your way to like get revenge

1041
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:32,520
Speaker 2: or like expose them, just nothing these people.

1042
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 7: Mike said no, he would stay with me and we

1043
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 7: will follow everyone out afterwards. This hit a nerve with

1044
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 7: Agatha and she started shouting abuse towards me as I

1045
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 7: told her to shut up and that she's making a

1046
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 7: show of herself, and she said, and I quote, who

1047
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:52,000
Speaker 7: do you think you're telling to shut up?

1048
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:52,879
Speaker 2: You're not a.

1049
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 7: Part of this family. You never will be A family.

1050
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 7: Holiday is for family only, and seeing as you can

1051
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:03,880
Speaker 7: I have kids, you will never be family. So what

1052
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 7: are you doing here? This obviously didn't settle well with me,

1053
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 7: so I called her out for the way she acted

1054
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:13,120
Speaker 7: with me and Annie and that I can afford and

1055
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 7: that I can afford to go on holiday or as

1056
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:19,120
Speaker 7: she used her daddy's money to come on this holiday mix.

1057
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:21,440
Speaker 7: Mom and Dad were furious that I spoke to Agatha

1058
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:24,480
Speaker 7: the way I did and are demanding an apology of

1059
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 7: me to Agatha. But I'm refusing to apologize as I

1060
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,920
Speaker 7: don't think I'm in the wrong here, and told Mike

1061
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,000
Speaker 7: that I won't be apologizing because I don't think I've

1062
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,719
Speaker 7: done anything wrong and don't want to do and don't

1063
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:38,279
Speaker 7: want anything to do with this family ever again other

1064
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 7: than his brother and sister in law and their kids.

1065
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 7: So reddit am I the a hole I'm in?

1066
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 2: Oh?

1067
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 6: No?

1068
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 2: Now the coast taking a breath here.

1069
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 4: If Agatha had said that to me, you know the

1070
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 4: scene from Spider Man. I think I've used this example

1071
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 4: before where the Green Goblin is just tackling him through

1072
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 4: like multiple floors, that would be my instinct.

1073
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 2: Like, I don't know.

1074
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:05,959
Speaker 4: I think I would just go blind with rage, which

1075
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:07,960
Speaker 4: I'm not advocating to do because that is not a

1076
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:11,120
Speaker 4: good thing. But oh my god, Agatha and Allen are

1077
00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:13,720
Speaker 4: a perfect match for each other because they are both

1078
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 4: insufferable dumpster fires of people, like, oh, that's insanity.

1079
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:24,759
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's kind of crazy, dude, I don't like it.

1080
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't.

1081
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 4: And you know what, I fully support going no contact

1082
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 4: with anybody who supports those people, especially anyone who is

1083
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 4: saying that you need to apologize to them after the

1084
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,400
Speaker 4: way that they've treated you and spoken to you and

1085
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 4: spoken about like the trauma that has happened to you.

1086
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 2: It's queezy, it's wild. Oh, so, where's your husband backing

1087
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,920
Speaker 2: you up? Your husband should be backing you way up.

1088
00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:53,280
Speaker 4: And if he doesn't know what's going on, you need

1089
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:54,239
Speaker 4: to tell him.

1090
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,520
Speaker 2: He needs to be informed.

1091
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:01,320
Speaker 5: I found spicy pigs of someone else on my boyfriend's phone.

1092
00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:04,359
Speaker 5: His excuses their AI generated.

1093
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 6: Oh, then it's chill.

1094
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:10,239
Speaker 5: Then it's totally ex Makina. I just watched that movie.

1095
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:11,240
Speaker 6: It's great movie.

1096
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:14,960
Speaker 5: I'll change all the names for privacy. I twenty six female,

1097
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,080
Speaker 5: have been dating my boyfriend Miles twenty nine male for

1098
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:22,480
Speaker 5: just over a year. Miles is an architect, passionate about

1099
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 5: his work, constantly sketching and dedicating time to his craft. Overall,

1100
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 5: our relationship has been great. I genuinely thought he was

1101
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:34,880
Speaker 5: the one. Oh recently, though, something happened.

1102
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:37,120
Speaker 6: Eh.

1103
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from throwaway I Hate my

1104
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:43,799
Speaker 5: boyfriend on the Okay story time Separate. A few months ago,

1105
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:48,440
Speaker 5: Miles introduced me to Ava at a mutual friend's birthday party.

1106
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:50,839
Speaker 5: I'd heard about her before, and now I got a meeter.

1107
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:56,440
Speaker 5: She was funny and surprisingly stylish does that mean yeah

1108
00:54:56,480 --> 00:54:59,160
Speaker 5: as a fashion buyer. We ended up chatting about trends

1109
00:54:59,200 --> 00:54:59,720
Speaker 5: and what's.

1110
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 6: In right now.

1111
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 5: I've never felt weird about her, even though she and

1112
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 5: Miles have been friends for years. I was sort of

1113
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,560
Speaker 5: glad she was in his life. She seemed like a

1114
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:11,320
Speaker 5: good influence compared to some of his other friends. But lately,

1115
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 5: Miles has been more secretive with his phone always tilting

1116
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:18,000
Speaker 5: it away from me. I didn't say anything at first

1117
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 5: because I didn't want to be that girlfriend. Last week,

1118
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:23,759
Speaker 5: I was at his place when his mom showed up

1119
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:26,359
Speaker 5: saying her car battery had died and she needed help

1120
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:29,960
Speaker 5: jumpstarting it. Miles rushed out, saying it wouldn't take long.

1121
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:33,840
Speaker 5: He left his phone behind on the on the coffee table.

1122
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:37,080
Speaker 5: It screened out, don't.

1123
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 6: Do it, don't do it, do it, She's gonna do it.

1124
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:42,680
Speaker 5: I kept myself busy scrolling through TikTok, but his phone

1125
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:48,160
Speaker 5: started buzzing repeatedly Pandora's books. I'm not insecure, so I

1126
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:51,359
Speaker 5: wouldn't snoop through my boyfriend's phone, but I couldn't shake

1127
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:55,840
Speaker 5: my anxiety. After hesitating, I picked up his phone. All

1128
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:58,920
Speaker 5: I saw were just work messages, making me feel stupid

1129
00:55:58,960 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 5: for snooping.

1130
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 6: She's like, I would never snoop his phone. And then I.

1131
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:06,480
Speaker 5: Snooped, and then and then I did. I did do that.

1132
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:07,840
Speaker 6: I did. Yeah, that happened.

1133
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 5: But then I checked everything, including the gallery. She's like,

1134
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 5: I didn't see anything, so I snooped much more, went

1135
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 5: through every little everything. What I saw made my heart drop.

1136
00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:27,600
Speaker 5: Explicit photos of Ava, Oh, some looked professional, while others

1137
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:30,720
Speaker 5: seemed spontaneous, but they were a stual.

1138
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:34,239
Speaker 6: Maybe her boyfriend just has a side career as a

1139
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:35,080
Speaker 6: new photographer.

1140
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:38,799
Speaker 5: Maybe it's like a boudoir, you know, photographer.

1141
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:39,759
Speaker 6: Sounding classy and respectful.

1142
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean they said the professional so yeah, I

1143
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:45,160
Speaker 5: felt like throwing up.

1144
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:46,080
Speaker 6: Sorry, but.

1145
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:51,840
Speaker 5: When myles returned, I couldn't hold back. Why do you

1146
00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:57,440
Speaker 5: have photos of Ava unclothed on your phone? His reaction

1147
00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 5: was strange. You didn't freak out or did not? Instead

1148
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:04,360
Speaker 5: he just stared, then said, it's not what you think.

1149
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,720
Speaker 5: He insisted it's nothing, and you're overreacting.

1150
00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:10,640
Speaker 6: I think it sounded more like, it's not what you think.

1151
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 6: It's like he was just not even it's not what

1152
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 6: you think. You're overreacting.

1153
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:18,200
Speaker 5: He was really calm about it. That's super calm, never

1154
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:22,360
Speaker 5: addressing my concerns. Eventually he got defensive, making me feel

1155
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 5: wrong for invading his privacy.

1156
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 6: Because you you did his privacy. Yeah.

1157
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:30,080
Speaker 5: I just decided there and then that I should leave.

1158
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 5: He's been texting NonStop, but I'm too angry to respond.

1159
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 5: I can't stop thinking about those photos and can't eat

1160
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 5: without feeling sick. Why Ava, Why was she sending him

1161
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:44,480
Speaker 5: that stuff? Why was he even saving them? He can't

1162
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 5: think I'm that dumb not to find out is this salvagable?

1163
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 5: What am I supposed to do?

1164
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 6: Now that's the end of the story.

1165
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 5: And there are ravin comments and an updates.

1166
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,080
Speaker 6: Thank god, I want an update, I know.

1167
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 5: But I think you leave him. I think you stay gone.

1168
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's expressing his passion with art.

1169
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 6: It's art, Sophia, Are you not a fan of he's

1170
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 6: an artist?

1171
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 5: Geez, why can't the female body just be art?

1172
00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 6: Are shaming the female form?

1173
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:13,680
Speaker 5: Right now?

1174
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 3: It's just culture.

1175
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:19,560
Speaker 5: But there is more to the story.

1176
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 8: There's a huge conversation of a simple question, why are

1177
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:25,960
Speaker 8: their naked photos on your phone?

1178
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:30,160
Speaker 5: She asked? He said, there's there's an explanation. There's a

1179
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:31,040
Speaker 5: reasonable explanation.

1180
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:33,800
Speaker 6: There's a reasonable explanation.

1181
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:36,360
Speaker 5: He's not gonna you think, okay, and that's it.

1182
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:38,439
Speaker 6: Okay, period. Well she's gonna come back.

1183
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 8: Yeah, obviously she's still gonna be upset, but at least,

1184
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 8: you know, not be as triggered. And then hopefully the

1185
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 8: conversation is like, okay, what is this explanation of this

1186
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:49,480
Speaker 8: nude person on your phone?

1187
00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 5: Exactly relevant? Comments rit posit Writt says, it's not what

1188
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:57,080
Speaker 5: you think is only a valid response if it is

1189
00:58:57,120 --> 00:59:01,680
Speaker 5: immediately followed by the surprisingly innocent truth explanation that makes

1190
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 5: total sense once revealed. Failing that, one must assume it

1191
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,080
Speaker 5: is what you think. You found his wank bank and

1192
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:12,160
Speaker 5: Ava is the star. I like that coming. Lord mo

1193
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 5: Haha says this. If it's not what you think, then

1194
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:18,560
Speaker 5: he needs to immediately follow up with what it is. Yes,

1195
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 5: he didn't, because it is exactly what Opie thinks. It's

1196
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 5: not coms are just copied exactly what the other commenter said.

1197
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 6: But it was still true.

1198
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:26,200
Speaker 5: It was still true.

1199
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1200
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 5: Yeah. France's baby Houseman says, well, it all looks clear

1201
00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:32,600
Speaker 5: to me. He's interested in her. Nothing you can do

1202
00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:35,760
Speaker 5: about it, save yourself some trouble and delete him from

1203
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:38,560
Speaker 5: your life. Opie says, I don't know if I could

1204
00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 5: live with myself not knowing everything that happened between them.

1205
00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1206
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:46,880
Speaker 5: Small Fairy says, don't worry. You definitely can remember wise

1207
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:50,120
Speaker 5: words from Tam and Paula. The less I know, the better.

1208
00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:56,560
Speaker 5: None Cable Echo nine seven two says do you want

1209
00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:59,240
Speaker 5: to salvage it? And if so, why I could never

1210
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 5: be with someone I can trust. You'll always wonder every

1211
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:04,880
Speaker 5: time he picks up his phone and texts, comes home,

1212
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:08,320
Speaker 5: a little late, rows a little quiet. Trust doesn't come

1213
01:00:08,360 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 5: back no matter what people say. What happens is you

1214
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 5: lower your standards, you go numb. Part of you dies

1215
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:16,800
Speaker 5: as you bury your head. But the guy who you

1216
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:18,800
Speaker 5: can trust and who will love you and be loyal

1217
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 5: is out there, and you may miss him by staying

1218
01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 5: with the cheater. Opie says, as corny as it sounds,

1219
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 5: it felt different this time. I've dated my share of

1220
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:30,000
Speaker 5: men before, and I assure you this isn't my fear

1221
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:33,360
Speaker 5: of being single forever speaking. It's more like I genuinely

1222
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:36,480
Speaker 5: believed he was perfect. That's what I thought. At least

1223
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 5: we have similar interests and both of us were cleany.

1224
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:42,720
Speaker 5: That's why this doesn't make sense. When would he have

1225
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:44,080
Speaker 5: the time to pull all of this?

1226
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 6: But I think, what do you think? She's a what

1227
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 6: is it? She's a style immediate, fashion buyer, a fashion.

1228
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:54,880
Speaker 3: Lady, she's a fashion nista.

1229
01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 8: So when you style someone, you got to start from

1230
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:01,120
Speaker 8: point playing. Yeah, you know, you got to start from

1231
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:04,000
Speaker 8: the base and build on that. Yes, So he's trying

1232
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 8: to style her, and he needs to understand her, her form, portions,

1233
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:10,960
Speaker 8: her proportions, and all these things. So he needs, you know,

1234
01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:14,120
Speaker 8: the blank canvas, Yeah, the blank canvas to then add

1235
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 8: the clothes on.

1236
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,920
Speaker 6: Absolutely, and he needs like a lot of.

1237
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:20,880
Speaker 8: Angles, some professional, some amateur to be able to make

1238
01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:22,320
Speaker 8: sure he could style her properly.

1239
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:23,160
Speaker 6: This is care.

1240
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:26,520
Speaker 5: Well, the amateur ones were just like test shoots, yeah,

1241
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:27,520
Speaker 5: just to get positions.

1242
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:30,880
Speaker 6: And there's care and this is respect for his damn craft.

1243
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 5: I agree.

1244
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:32,640
Speaker 3: Oh you agree.

1245
01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 6: Okay, that was easy.

1246
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:34,800
Speaker 5: There we go.

1247
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:35,760
Speaker 3: That's the end of the story.

1248
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:36,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, we figured it out.

1249
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 5: But it is also Op's craft, not his. But he's

1250
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:41,680
Speaker 5: he's he's helping.

1251
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:43,600
Speaker 6: All right, let's see the update.

1252
01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:47,200
Speaker 5: First of all, thank you to everyone who reached out

1253
01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:50,320
Speaker 5: to me privately or responded to my original post, whether

1254
01:01:50,360 --> 01:01:52,840
Speaker 5: you were understanding or trying to give me a reality check,

1255
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:56,640
Speaker 5: I genuinely appreciate all of it. I know many of

1256
01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:59,480
Speaker 5: you advised against reaching out to him, but I decided

1257
01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:04,320
Speaker 5: to do it anyway. I texted him. There were tons

1258
01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:08,480
Speaker 5: of unanswered messages, and it wasn't too long before he responded.

1259
01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 5: I invited him to a cafe we used to get

1260
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 5: bagels from every Saturday morning to make him feel nostalgic

1261
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:18,840
Speaker 5: and sad about throwing away her sweet traditions. This is

1262
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:20,480
Speaker 5: what you're this is what you're gonna lose.

1263
01:02:20,560 --> 01:02:22,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, you're gonna lose all these bagels.

1264
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:25,240
Speaker 5: And partly because I felt a public space would force

1265
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 5: us to keep things civil. He tried hugging me when

1266
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:30,280
Speaker 5: he came, but I just wanted to get straight to

1267
01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:34,800
Speaker 5: the point. The explanation he gave me was honestly confusing.

1268
01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:38,400
Speaker 5: Apparently he and Eva had dated a few years back.

1269
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:40,240
Speaker 6: I didn't I didn't expect that.

1270
01:02:40,240 --> 01:02:41,440
Speaker 5: That wasn't on my.

1271
01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:44,080
Speaker 6: Expectations.

1272
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:47,160
Speaker 3: No, not on a Bengal card and.

1273
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:51,080
Speaker 6: Chocolate chocolate. Oh, it looks so good with that in

1274
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:51,640
Speaker 6: your mouth.

1275
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:55,360
Speaker 5: Okay, And he thought I'd make him drop her as

1276
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:58,240
Speaker 5: a friend if I found out. He went on to

1277
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:00,720
Speaker 5: say that he deleted her spicy pick, but because of

1278
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:04,160
Speaker 5: some storage issue, they were still on his iPad. It's

1279
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 5: a storage issue.

1280
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:08,760
Speaker 6: I believe that makes that doesn't even make sense.

1281
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,440
Speaker 5: If it was a storage issue, you would have to

1282
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:12,280
Speaker 5: delete more, not have more.

1283
01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:14,760
Speaker 6: Well, No, he needed to add it to other devices

1284
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:17,320
Speaker 6: to say that, because the storage might delete them and

1285
01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:19,120
Speaker 6: that would be disrespectful to her form.

1286
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:22,640
Speaker 5: They're professional. Yeah, and when his phone SYNCD with the iPad,

1287
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:26,720
Speaker 5: the photos got downloaded onto his phone. That's a terrible excuse.

1288
01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:30,400
Speaker 6: It's it might be true. It might be true.

1289
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 5: This felt like a huge reach, but I decided to

1290
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:35,520
Speaker 5: play along with it until the next day when I

1291
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:37,200
Speaker 5: decided to start my own investment.

1292
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:40,440
Speaker 6: Okay, so that's that's how the conversation ended. It was like, babe,

1293
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:43,400
Speaker 6: you don't understand storage. So he like takes out a paper,

1294
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 6: He's like, So what I decided was true was that, Yeah,

1295
01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:50,280
Speaker 6: they were on my iPad and then they transferred to

1296
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 6: my phone.

1297
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 5: I took it to the Apple Genius Bar and they

1298
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:54,640
Speaker 5: actually said this happens a lot.

1299
01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:55,720
Speaker 3: It is pretty sick.

1300
01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:58,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, oh yeah, we could help with this.

1301
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, only guys do this.

1302
01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:03,960
Speaker 6: Yes, strange huh.

1303
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:08,320
Speaker 5: I found Ava on Instagram through miles following list, messaged

1304
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 5: her and asked her to get the story straight. After

1305
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:15,520
Speaker 5: about thirty minutes, Ava responded with, we never dated.

1306
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:16,160
Speaker 3: Dang.

1307
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:20,720
Speaker 8: Oh that was just the So it turns out I

1308
01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:21,760
Speaker 8: wasn't professional.

1309
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:22,680
Speaker 5: I wasn't professional.

1310
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:23,440
Speaker 6: I was wrong.

1311
01:04:24,160 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 5: Shortly after getting Ava's message, I called her and gave

1312
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:31,960
Speaker 5: her all the facts. She was absolutely petrified. She said

1313
01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:35,360
Speaker 5: he could not have possibly gotten her spicy picks.

1314
01:04:35,720 --> 01:04:35,880
Speaker 1: What.

1315
01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:38,760
Speaker 5: I tried to describe the photos from what I remembered,

1316
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:40,920
Speaker 5: but she reassured me that not only did she not

1317
01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 5: take pictures like that, there was also no possibility they

1318
01:04:44,360 --> 01:04:45,720
Speaker 5: existed in the first place.

1319
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:47,800
Speaker 6: What this story is getting wild?

1320
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:53,040
Speaker 5: I was cautious, but her reaction was convincing. At that point,

1321
01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:55,680
Speaker 5: I felt like I was going insane. I said goodbye

1322
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:57,960
Speaker 5: to Ava because this was too much for both of us.

1323
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 5: I went straight to his house. When he let me in,

1324
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:04,560
Speaker 5: I demanded answers and told them to stop be asking me,

1325
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 5: don't do it. That's when he broke down and admitted

1326
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:11,840
Speaker 5: the truth. He made AI generated photos with their face.

1327
01:05:12,480 --> 01:05:12,840
Speaker 6: God.

1328
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:15,560
Speaker 5: He mumbled something about it being a mistake, but I

1329
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:18,160
Speaker 5: stopped listening. I just needed to leave.

1330
01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:20,280
Speaker 6: That is terrified, My god.

1331
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:24,240
Speaker 5: That's terrifying. That is literally disgusting.

1332
01:05:24,400 --> 01:05:25,440
Speaker 6: I've never heard of this.

1333
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:27,160
Speaker 5: No, well, I mean this is a thing that like

1334
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:32,680
Speaker 5: people have been doing where they ai generate like celebrities.

1335
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:36,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, but oh, that is just so strong. To do

1336
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:40,800
Speaker 6: it to a friend, a friend interact.

1337
01:05:40,320 --> 01:05:46,080
Speaker 3: With I think it's the highest form of compliment ie.

1338
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:49,200
Speaker 8: A general only, like is this guy doing that in general?

1339
01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:51,760
Speaker 8: It's a friend, which is just disgusting.

1340
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:57,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, just grossly inappropriate, very inappropriate, huge violation of any

1341
01:05:57,960 --> 01:06:00,280
Speaker 5: like privacy, friend anything.

1342
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:03,600
Speaker 6: But he's doing this. Wow, he's in a relationship and

1343
01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:06,640
Speaker 6: his partner knows his friend that he's doing It's like

1344
01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 6: such a lack of respect to all parties involved. So inappropriate.

1345
01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:14,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, I wish you could like go to jail for them. Honestly,

1346
01:06:14,960 --> 01:06:15,840
Speaker 5: it's disgusting.

1347
01:06:15,960 --> 01:06:18,080
Speaker 3: I mean I know they're doing it with the voiceover

1348
01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:20,960
Speaker 3: things like the AI voices. They're making that illegal.

1349
01:06:21,040 --> 01:06:22,360
Speaker 6: So oh really, Oh.

1350
01:06:22,240 --> 01:06:24,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, I think there should be like I think,

1351
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:30,040
Speaker 5: I honestly think there should be you know, restrictions regulations

1352
01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:32,080
Speaker 5: on that because that is like, that's.

1353
01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 3: Dangerous, dangerous, that is what the internet's wild.

1354
01:06:34,880 --> 01:06:36,960
Speaker 8: Yeah, I love how I mean, I don't love, but

1355
01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:40,200
Speaker 8: it's go on funny how he he like deep faked.

1356
01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:42,560
Speaker 6: He was like, I want professional nudes, yeah, and I

1357
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:44,800
Speaker 6: also want amateur want to.

1358
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:46,640
Speaker 5: Send me like a personal one.

1359
01:06:46,760 --> 01:06:49,640
Speaker 3: You know what I really love is he lied? He

1360
01:06:49,720 --> 01:06:52,000
Speaker 3: like lied and then lied again. Yeah, and he's like,

1361
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:54,680
Speaker 3: my my girlfriend is never going to go to the source.

1362
01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:56,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's not gonna check.

1363
01:06:56,120 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 6: She's stupid the check stupid. But yeah, he he made

1364
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:02,560
Speaker 6: up a relationship as a lie, and I didn't think

1365
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:04,240
Speaker 6: she would ask what a wild lie?

1366
01:07:04,320 --> 01:07:09,120
Speaker 3: If you were Opie, would you tell Ava for sure? Like, oh, absolutely,

1367
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:10,000
Speaker 3: like he's doing this?

1368
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:13,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean she deserves to know. Yeah she did.

1369
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:16,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, she'd but like if you were yeah, if you

1370
01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:19,440
Speaker 3: were OPI like, would you hide that like white lie? Like,

1371
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:21,040
Speaker 3: oh he just said you were in a relationship, not

1372
01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:23,160
Speaker 3: the he has the deep No, I.

1373
01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:25,240
Speaker 5: Would tell her, Yeah, I would absolutely touch her. I

1374
01:07:25,280 --> 01:07:26,160
Speaker 5: think she deserves to know.

1375
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:27,640
Speaker 6: Yeah. I don't need to protect him.

1376
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:31,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, avoiding his pathetic attempts to touch or comfort me,

1377
01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:35,200
Speaker 5: I left his place, took an uber home, and spent

1378
01:07:35,280 --> 01:07:38,440
Speaker 5: the rest of the night crying. He's been blocked everywhere.

1379
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:42,120
Speaker 5: He won't be reaching me again. After I informed Ava

1380
01:07:42,160 --> 01:07:45,120
Speaker 5: about the vile things he had done, she started tearing up.

1381
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:50,840
Speaker 5: She cried. I cried it was a mess, such a violation. Yeah,

1382
01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:53,360
Speaker 5: I kept apologizing to her. It felt like I had

1383
01:07:53,360 --> 01:07:58,240
Speaker 5: some part in this horrible situation. By the way, it's

1384
01:07:58,320 --> 01:08:02,480
Speaker 5: never horrible if you joins live every weekday three VMPSD

1385
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:07,200
Speaker 5: on YouTube, TikTok and Facebook just to her profile, and

1386
01:08:07,240 --> 01:08:08,800
Speaker 5: there is a little bit left to the story. But

1387
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:11,160
Speaker 5: I feel so bad for Eva, Like I feel bad

1388
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:14,919
Speaker 5: for Op obviously because she's been grossed. Yeah, just yeah

1389
01:08:15,120 --> 01:08:18,800
Speaker 5: part like yeah, but that is really really awful for Eva,

1390
01:08:18,840 --> 01:08:23,240
Speaker 5: who's just this innocent bystander, like it was just his friend. Yeah, disgusting,

1391
01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:25,759
Speaker 5: But there is a little bit left to the story.

1392
01:08:25,960 --> 01:08:28,320
Speaker 6: Oh, this just feels so achey and so.

1393
01:08:28,280 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 5: Wiki, so wiky. The rest will stay private, but I'll

1394
01:08:32,479 --> 01:08:35,120
Speaker 5: be supporting Ava with whatever she decides to do with

1395
01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:39,479
Speaker 5: this information. I'm just glad it's over. My friend will

1396
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:41,720
Speaker 5: be staying over for a few days to help me

1397
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:44,439
Speaker 5: get through it all. Thank you to everyone who shared

1398
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:47,760
Speaker 5: kind words and cared. I'm still figuring things out, but

1399
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:50,799
Speaker 5: I'll be okay. And that is the end of that story.

1400
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:52,599
Speaker 5: Damn damn.

1401
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:56,080
Speaker 6: Yeah. It's scary, I mean, just around the future where

1402
01:08:56,120 --> 01:08:58,760
Speaker 6: this stuff is just so accessible, so accessible.

1403
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:01,120
Speaker 8: I mean in the past, it was like, oh, yeah,

1404
01:09:01,160 --> 01:09:04,439
Speaker 8: you know, people make art or you know, and and

1405
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:08,080
Speaker 8: could make things. But this is just indistinguishable, and that

1406
01:09:08,240 --> 01:09:10,880
Speaker 8: was something that was being done with celebrities. But now

1407
01:09:10,920 --> 01:09:13,120
Speaker 8: with you know, AI advancement doing.

1408
01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:15,800
Speaker 5: And also just like how accessible it is exactly.

1409
01:09:16,200 --> 01:09:20,320
Speaker 6: It's one is just scary, and then two it's it's

1410
01:09:20,400 --> 01:09:25,080
Speaker 6: dangerous if you know, like relationships can be broken apart.

1411
01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:28,960
Speaker 6: People could be accused of sending this or someone of

1412
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:32,760
Speaker 6: someone owning it, and there's no like indicator it's going

1413
01:09:32,840 --> 01:09:35,799
Speaker 6: to be. It's becoming this is like real or not exactly, it's.

1414
01:09:35,640 --> 01:09:41,240
Speaker 5: Becoming increasingly harder to distinguish what is real and fake online,

1415
01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:42,679
Speaker 5: which is which is scary?

1416
01:09:42,880 --> 01:09:46,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, and then just poor op, poor op again, like

1417
01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:49,400
Speaker 6: you said it'd be this innocent bystander. Yeah. And then

1418
01:09:49,479 --> 01:09:53,719
Speaker 6: to like have trust in relationships completely broken apart. Yeah,

1419
01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:59,400
Speaker 6: that's that's super wounding and incredible, like incredible, total like

1420
01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:02,320
Speaker 6: mess of your Pris're also gaslight her in the beginning.

1421
01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:04,760
Speaker 6: I make care feel bad with a wild gas light Yeah,

1422
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:08,679
Speaker 6: of like, oh we dated, and she's like she's like, no, no.

1423
01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:10,880
Speaker 5: I don't believe that. It doesn't sound right.

1424
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:12,680
Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here.

1425
01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:14,120
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1426
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:16,040
Speaker 1: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

1427
01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:19,719
Speaker 6: I told my boyfriend I wanted more attention. His reaction

1428
01:10:20,040 --> 01:10:20,479
Speaker 6: scared me.

1429
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:24,800
Speaker 8: We've been together for two years now and our anniversary

1430
01:10:24,920 --> 01:10:27,960
Speaker 8: was just over a week ago. However, we haven't got

1431
01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:30,519
Speaker 8: in the chance to properly celebrate, as we have both

1432
01:10:30,600 --> 01:10:32,519
Speaker 8: been really busy and I was out of the city

1433
01:10:32,560 --> 01:10:35,720
Speaker 8: on our actual anniversary. There are plans to celebrate it

1434
01:10:35,840 --> 01:10:38,680
Speaker 8: this weekend over a picnic, but even then I told

1435
01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:40,800
Speaker 8: him not to worry about it if he or were

1436
01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:44,040
Speaker 8: both still busy, which he appreciates. By the way, this

1437
01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:46,880
Speaker 8: comes from you worldly basis three poet three nine on

1438
01:10:46,920 --> 01:10:50,519
Speaker 8: the r okay Storytime subreddit. So the reason I felt

1439
01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:52,479
Speaker 8: the need to come on here and write about it

1440
01:10:52,520 --> 01:10:55,120
Speaker 8: is the nature of our past arguments in the past

1441
01:10:55,160 --> 01:10:59,320
Speaker 8: couple of weeks. For example, the other day, I felt

1442
01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:01,960
Speaker 8: as if I was not getting enough affection for the

1443
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:05,080
Speaker 8: amount of affection I was giving and said, you're not

1444
01:11:05,160 --> 01:11:08,240
Speaker 8: affectionate charged me anymore in a powdy way, as I

1445
01:11:08,280 --> 01:11:11,360
Speaker 8: just wanted to feel babied at the moment, not realizing

1446
01:11:11,400 --> 01:11:14,679
Speaker 8: the implications it had on his feelings, Sophia.

1447
01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:18,599
Speaker 5: Not the best way to bring that up, Yes, agreed, Yeah,

1448
01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:20,719
Speaker 5: could have could have been brought up in a little

1449
01:11:20,720 --> 01:11:22,600
Speaker 5: bit more of like, hey, i've been noticing you know,

1450
01:11:22,640 --> 01:11:24,920
Speaker 5: you're kind of pulling back. Yeah, is there you know?

1451
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:27,879
Speaker 8: Or even to own it everything my need for affection

1452
01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:30,760
Speaker 8: is being met, and then make a request attached to a.

1453
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:32,840
Speaker 5: Need and be like is there anything going on?

1454
01:11:33,240 --> 01:11:37,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, curiosity or cerocity, or just like can I receive

1455
01:11:37,040 --> 01:11:37,559
Speaker 6: more affection?

1456
01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:39,240
Speaker 5: Can I get a little harp?

1457
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:40,559
Speaker 6: Give me, give me a little smooch?

1458
01:11:40,920 --> 01:11:41,479
Speaker 3: How you ask?

1459
01:11:41,680 --> 01:11:46,840
Speaker 6: So I want to hugo?

1460
01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:50,200
Speaker 4: All right?

1461
01:11:50,200 --> 01:11:53,240
Speaker 6: So he got upset, which usually happens when you blame someone,

1462
01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:56,360
Speaker 6: as he felt like I was accusing him of something

1463
01:11:56,439 --> 01:11:59,280
Speaker 6: really bad and then I was dismissing him talking to

1464
01:11:59,320 --> 01:12:01,720
Speaker 6: me as a way to affectionate and the show loved me.

1465
01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:03,519
Speaker 6: He got very upset at this.

1466
01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:05,760
Speaker 8: I tried to explain to him that I did not

1467
01:12:05,960 --> 01:12:08,120
Speaker 8: do it as an attack towards him, and that I

1468
01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:10,519
Speaker 8: grew up seeing couples do it around me and I

1469
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:14,160
Speaker 8: was expected, expecting to be babied and showered with affection,

1470
01:12:14,320 --> 01:12:16,920
Speaker 8: as that is what I saw growing up. There are

1471
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:20,920
Speaker 8: such I'm sympathized, Like, I'm not making Opie wrong for this,

1472
01:12:21,240 --> 01:12:24,880
Speaker 8: It's just not like functional communication. No, but like she's right,

1473
01:12:25,080 --> 01:12:27,960
Speaker 8: Like we grow up in a culture of terrible models

1474
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:29,519
Speaker 8: of what healthy.

1475
01:12:29,280 --> 01:12:32,120
Speaker 6: And functional relationships look like. So the majority of people

1476
01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:34,320
Speaker 6: we have to relearn what it means to relate to

1477
01:12:34,320 --> 01:12:37,640
Speaker 6: people in healthy ways. So to this, he thought that

1478
01:12:37,680 --> 01:12:41,960
Speaker 6: I was too influenced by internet couples. Is this is

1479
01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:44,960
Speaker 6: this a thing or people getting information about internet couples?

1480
01:12:45,280 --> 01:12:47,439
Speaker 5: I mean, I mean, I can't say what op he's

1481
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:50,080
Speaker 5: you know, doing, But I think that everyone just has

1482
01:12:50,120 --> 01:12:55,200
Speaker 5: different like ideas of how much affection you're supposed to

1483
01:12:55,320 --> 01:12:57,479
Speaker 5: you know, for sure get in a relationship because I

1484
01:12:57,479 --> 01:13:00,320
Speaker 5: think I'm personally a very physical, physically affectionate person.

1485
01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:02,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, I would say.

1486
01:13:02,720 --> 01:13:05,160
Speaker 3: So, I expect that I don't know the way you

1487
01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:07,839
Speaker 3: did that hugging thing may egg.

1488
01:13:11,200 --> 01:13:15,800
Speaker 6: No, I think of me too, me too, all right,

1489
01:13:16,240 --> 01:13:18,560
Speaker 6: And yeah, everyone has different levels of what amount of

1490
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:19,680
Speaker 6: affection feels good to Some.

1491
01:13:19,840 --> 01:13:22,320
Speaker 5: People like less physical touch, which is also okay, it's

1492
01:13:22,360 --> 01:13:23,200
Speaker 5: just communicating that.

1493
01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:24,400
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1494
01:13:24,439 --> 01:13:26,720
Speaker 8: To this, he thought that I was too influenced by

1495
01:13:26,840 --> 01:13:29,360
Speaker 8: internet couples and people around me, that I was trying

1496
01:13:29,360 --> 01:13:32,599
Speaker 8: to emulate other people's relationships with ours when I simply

1497
01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:36,639
Speaker 8: had no other intention but to ask for affection. He said,

1498
01:13:36,640 --> 01:13:39,160
Speaker 8: I should just ask for like a grown adult to

1499
01:13:39,200 --> 01:13:41,519
Speaker 8: which I understood, and I owned up to my mistake

1500
01:13:41,600 --> 01:13:43,639
Speaker 8: as it did not know that he saw that way.

1501
01:13:44,280 --> 01:13:46,400
Speaker 8: I kept explaining to him that I was not trying

1502
01:13:46,439 --> 01:13:49,680
Speaker 8: to accuse him of anything or dismiss everything that he's

1503
01:13:49,720 --> 01:13:52,439
Speaker 8: done to me to show me affection in his way.

1504
01:13:52,960 --> 01:13:57,000
Speaker 8: I desperately explained that I understood that it is different

1505
01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:59,200
Speaker 8: for him, and my obligation as a partner is to

1506
01:13:59,200 --> 01:14:03,040
Speaker 8: respect that and act accordingly. I explained that I can

1507
01:14:03,200 --> 01:14:06,360
Speaker 8: and will have the capability to change, and that he

1508
01:14:06,439 --> 01:14:09,719
Speaker 8: is being heard. Despite this, he was still very upset

1509
01:14:09,760 --> 01:14:11,639
Speaker 8: and kept saying that I was accusing him.

1510
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:16,280
Speaker 6: It seems like from what I'm understanding the story that

1511
01:14:16,600 --> 01:14:20,040
Speaker 6: OP you know messed up. Yeah, he explained it and

1512
01:14:20,120 --> 01:14:22,720
Speaker 6: was upset, and Op you know took responsibility and.

1513
01:14:22,760 --> 01:14:25,880
Speaker 8: Was like, yeah, I done something else. And then it

1514
01:14:25,880 --> 01:14:29,720
Speaker 8: seems that he's like still upset. Yeah, But also we're

1515
01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:31,599
Speaker 8: not there for the conversation, so we don't know how

1516
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:34,599
Speaker 8: it actually went. So I understand the situation as us

1517
01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:37,639
Speaker 8: being in different individuals with different needs and different ways

1518
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:39,840
Speaker 8: of reacting to things, And in this case, I've learned

1519
01:14:39,840 --> 01:14:42,080
Speaker 8: that I should have not said what I said, as

1520
01:14:42,120 --> 01:14:44,559
Speaker 8: it means something else to him, which I respect. I

1521
01:14:44,640 --> 01:14:46,720
Speaker 8: was so desperate to get him to understand that I

1522
01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:48,479
Speaker 8: never meant anything and that I am on.

1523
01:14:48,479 --> 01:14:49,639
Speaker 6: His side, but to no avail.

1524
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:54,440
Speaker 8: He started speaking really aggressively, and I got really overwhelmed

1525
01:14:54,479 --> 01:14:57,120
Speaker 8: and started crying, begging him to stop, but he kept

1526
01:14:57,200 --> 01:15:01,519
Speaker 8: talking over me. I was sobbing and pouring my heart out,

1527
01:15:01,520 --> 01:15:03,599
Speaker 8: but he just stared at me with an angry look

1528
01:15:03,640 --> 01:15:04,280
Speaker 8: on his face.

1529
01:15:05,120 --> 01:15:10,080
Speaker 6: Wow, feel bad for Ope. Why is he getting so upset?

1530
01:15:10,360 --> 01:15:13,800
Speaker 5: I don't know. This is very strong. It feels like

1531
01:15:13,840 --> 01:15:18,200
Speaker 5: he is kind of like was feeling maybe self conscious

1532
01:15:18,200 --> 01:15:20,840
Speaker 5: about how much affection he was showing, or was pulling

1533
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:23,639
Speaker 5: back for some other reason, and now maybe he's feeling

1534
01:15:23,680 --> 01:15:26,240
Speaker 5: guilty and now it's like projecting that on toy.

1535
01:15:26,520 --> 01:15:29,400
Speaker 6: There's this thing called like a shame screen, which is essentially,

1536
01:15:30,520 --> 01:15:33,559
Speaker 6: when like a situation comes that shame comes up, there's

1537
01:15:33,640 --> 01:15:36,200
Speaker 6: a screen and like other parts of us step in

1538
01:15:36,280 --> 01:15:39,240
Speaker 6: to try to block that screen or excuse me, block

1539
01:15:39,320 --> 01:15:42,440
Speaker 6: the shame, and oftentimes it like can come off in aggression,

1540
01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:44,679
Speaker 6: and maybe that's what's happening. He's like getting this big

1541
01:15:44,720 --> 01:15:46,920
Speaker 6: trigger and like like oh no, and then.

1542
01:15:46,920 --> 01:15:49,160
Speaker 5: Like can you think that blah blah blahah. Yeah.

1543
01:15:49,360 --> 01:15:52,640
Speaker 8: Interesting, so it felt really dehumanizing. Please ENLiGHT to me

1544
01:15:52,720 --> 01:15:54,720
Speaker 8: if there are other words that describe the feeling, but

1545
01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:57,320
Speaker 8: for now, this is the best I could describe it.

1546
01:15:57,320 --> 01:15:59,680
Speaker 8: It makes me feel sad because I can never just

1547
01:15:59,720 --> 01:16:02,960
Speaker 8: stay I at him crying without having my heart crushed

1548
01:16:03,320 --> 01:16:07,280
Speaker 8: at the sight. It always ruins me whenever he cries.

1549
01:16:07,520 --> 01:16:09,640
Speaker 8: I expressed this, and he said, you want everyone to

1550
01:16:09,680 --> 01:16:11,520
Speaker 8: be soft like God.

1551
01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:14,800
Speaker 6: Now he's just explicitly shaming her. Yeah.

1552
01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:17,519
Speaker 5: Well, I mean it went from she asked in a

1553
01:16:17,600 --> 01:16:20,280
Speaker 5: bad way to him being like, you are just being

1554
01:16:20,280 --> 01:16:23,439
Speaker 5: influenced by TikTok couples and you are like, you know,

1555
01:16:23,640 --> 01:16:27,360
Speaker 5: you're soft, and just attacking her and yelling at her.

1556
01:16:27,560 --> 01:16:28,240
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1557
01:16:28,600 --> 01:16:30,200
Speaker 8: So he went from like being upset that she was

1558
01:16:30,200 --> 01:16:34,720
Speaker 8: attacking him to now like very much attacking her. I

1559
01:16:34,760 --> 01:16:36,720
Speaker 8: expressed this, and he said, you want everyone to be

1560
01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:39,720
Speaker 8: soft like you. I'm expressing my feelings. Who else am

1561
01:16:39,760 --> 01:16:42,280
Speaker 8: I supposed to express my feelings to? If I told

1562
01:16:42,320 --> 01:16:44,840
Speaker 8: my sister, you'd be angry. So who else do I

1563
01:16:44,880 --> 01:16:48,280
Speaker 8: express my feelings to? You want me to stop expressing

1564
01:16:48,280 --> 01:16:52,080
Speaker 8: my feelings. I'm expressing my feelings and you're scared. Do

1565
01:16:52,120 --> 01:16:54,320
Speaker 8: you expect me to baby you when I'm upset and

1566
01:16:54,360 --> 01:16:57,040
Speaker 8: be like, oh baby, it's okay, I know you're sorry.

1567
01:16:57,760 --> 01:17:05,479
Speaker 5: Oh my god, oh just really he really did not

1568
01:17:05,520 --> 01:17:06,200
Speaker 5: handle that well.

1569
01:17:06,439 --> 01:17:09,080
Speaker 3: It went from zero to a trillion.

1570
01:17:09,439 --> 01:17:11,760
Speaker 5: Yeah. It went from like oh, she like shouldn't have

1571
01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:14,000
Speaker 5: said that, to like, oh, wow, this guy is crazy.

1572
01:17:14,439 --> 01:17:15,799
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1573
01:17:15,080 --> 01:17:19,439
Speaker 8: I think so many people make this mistake of like

1574
01:17:19,720 --> 01:17:23,080
Speaker 8: thinking expressing my feelings is getting upset at someone.

1575
01:17:23,240 --> 01:17:23,519
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1576
01:17:23,520 --> 01:17:27,080
Speaker 8: And there's a difference between owning emotion of like I'm

1577
01:17:27,080 --> 01:17:31,240
Speaker 8: feeling really angry right now, rather than like accusing someone

1578
01:17:31,680 --> 01:17:35,080
Speaker 8: and attacking them and like projecting your anger on them

1579
01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:37,280
Speaker 8: and making them wrong. There's a big difference in like,

1580
01:17:37,360 --> 01:17:38,960
Speaker 8: I'm just feeling really angry right now.

1581
01:17:39,080 --> 01:17:40,240
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1582
01:17:40,479 --> 01:17:43,879
Speaker 8: So when it was just me feeling really overwhelmed and scared,

1583
01:17:44,040 --> 01:17:46,360
Speaker 8: I felt like he was being seen for only my

1584
01:17:46,439 --> 01:17:48,920
Speaker 8: mistake and that he's forgotten that he is talking to

1585
01:17:48,960 --> 01:17:53,040
Speaker 8: his girlfriend who just wants to talk with no intention

1586
01:17:53,160 --> 01:17:55,920
Speaker 8: to argue and to just make things better. It also

1587
01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:58,280
Speaker 8: does not help when he said I'm standing up for

1588
01:17:58,360 --> 01:18:01,120
Speaker 8: myself and my feelings. When I asked him why he

1589
01:18:01,240 --> 01:18:04,160
Speaker 8: is speaking so aggressively, I told.

1590
01:18:04,080 --> 01:18:08,680
Speaker 5: Him to be aggressive to stand up for yourself. That

1591
01:18:08,760 --> 01:18:10,200
Speaker 5: actually makes it worse.

1592
01:18:11,600 --> 01:18:14,639
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, back to this story.

1593
01:18:14,760 --> 01:18:16,880
Speaker 8: I told him there was no need for hostility, and

1594
01:18:16,920 --> 01:18:18,800
Speaker 8: I am here to listen to him and give him

1595
01:18:18,840 --> 01:18:21,840
Speaker 8: what he needs. It felt like a bigger barrier was

1596
01:18:21,880 --> 01:18:24,799
Speaker 8: built between us when he said that. In my desperate

1597
01:18:24,840 --> 01:18:26,800
Speaker 8: attempt to get him to understand that I grew up

1598
01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:29,639
Speaker 8: in an environment where forgiveness was taught as a good thing,

1599
01:18:30,120 --> 01:18:32,400
Speaker 8: I told him how I used to get into heated

1600
01:18:32,520 --> 01:18:34,920
Speaker 8: arguments with my mother and how we would always make

1601
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:36,920
Speaker 8: up an end where my mother would try to get

1602
01:18:36,920 --> 01:18:39,000
Speaker 8: to the root of the problem and ask me if

1603
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:42,280
Speaker 8: she has done anything that contributed to me doing what

1604
01:18:42,400 --> 01:18:42,920
Speaker 8: upset her.

1605
01:18:43,320 --> 01:18:43,920
Speaker 6: That's sweet.

1606
01:18:44,640 --> 01:18:47,719
Speaker 5: It sounds like, oh, he grew up in a nice household. Yeah,

1607
01:18:47,800 --> 01:18:50,280
Speaker 5: And maybe he grew up in a household where it

1608
01:18:50,400 --> 01:18:53,479
Speaker 5: wasn't super big on communication.

1609
01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:58,280
Speaker 6: Or just where there was no space for probably where

1610
01:18:58,400 --> 01:19:00,000
Speaker 6: he was attacked a lot. Yeah.

1611
01:19:00,360 --> 01:19:03,880
Speaker 8: So if he's being so triggered by her, you know, yeah,

1612
01:19:04,080 --> 01:19:07,840
Speaker 8: expressing upsetness about something and then he gets all aggressive,

1613
01:19:08,320 --> 01:19:11,960
Speaker 8: it's probably you know, he didn't have any room for

1614
01:19:13,439 --> 01:19:19,559
Speaker 8: like healthy communication. So all right, we would always hear

1615
01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:22,920
Speaker 8: each other out reach an understanding and forgive my mother

1616
01:19:23,080 --> 01:19:25,800
Speaker 8: never forgets to address the root issue that caused me

1617
01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:29,120
Speaker 8: to act in a certain way. My boyfriend kept asking

1618
01:19:29,160 --> 01:19:32,040
Speaker 8: me things like, did you hear your mom out? Did

1619
01:19:32,040 --> 01:19:35,360
Speaker 8: you apologize to her in a really hostile way? And

1620
01:19:35,439 --> 01:19:37,439
Speaker 8: I had to at a point remind him that he

1621
01:19:37,479 --> 01:19:39,839
Speaker 8: was not there and I should not speak on my behalf,

1622
01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:43,040
Speaker 8: especially when I am telling the truth. I was simply

1623
01:19:43,040 --> 01:19:46,560
Speaker 8: trying to get his understanding. Is this like other circumstances

1624
01:19:46,600 --> 01:19:49,200
Speaker 8: other than this, because now she's like ding her mom

1625
01:19:49,200 --> 01:19:49,519
Speaker 8: in here.

1626
01:19:49,920 --> 01:19:52,000
Speaker 5: I yeah, I don't know, I'm sure.

1627
01:19:53,040 --> 01:19:56,000
Speaker 8: However, with my boyfriend, he gets really angry at how

1628
01:19:56,040 --> 01:20:00,559
Speaker 8: I addressed the issue, despite me already genuinely apologies and

1629
01:20:00,600 --> 01:20:03,800
Speaker 8: owning up to my mistake, and explodes about how I

1630
01:20:03,920 --> 01:20:06,519
Speaker 8: said things, but would never address the root problem, which

1631
01:20:06,560 --> 01:20:08,880
Speaker 8: was what I was trying to express to him in

1632
01:20:08,920 --> 01:20:09,679
Speaker 8: the first place.

1633
01:20:10,240 --> 01:20:12,559
Speaker 6: The most recent argument, okay, so now we're going.

1634
01:20:12,479 --> 01:20:17,120
Speaker 8: Genuine yeah general argument first started with yeah, this very

1635
01:20:17,160 --> 01:20:21,280
Speaker 8: specific about affection and him getting aggressive, and now she's

1636
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:25,559
Speaker 8: going generally to how the hate he communicates in conflict

1637
01:20:25,560 --> 01:20:26,120
Speaker 8: in the whole.

1638
01:20:25,920 --> 01:20:28,080
Speaker 5: Relationship, which doesn't seem good.

1639
01:20:28,720 --> 01:20:31,800
Speaker 8: The most recent argument we had was just last night.

1640
01:20:31,880 --> 01:20:33,760
Speaker 8: We both had long days and so we ended up

1641
01:20:33,800 --> 01:20:36,280
Speaker 8: calling each other at two thirty am in the morning.

1642
01:20:36,680 --> 01:20:38,800
Speaker 8: I was a little sensitive and cranky, as I just

1643
01:20:38,880 --> 01:20:40,719
Speaker 8: woke up and missed him a lot, and he pointed

1644
01:20:40,760 --> 01:20:43,720
Speaker 8: this out, which I apologized to him right away. A

1645
01:20:43,720 --> 01:20:46,080
Speaker 8: few minutes later passed and I realized that he didn't

1646
01:20:46,240 --> 01:20:48,920
Speaker 8: video call me. He would usually just voice call me

1647
01:20:48,960 --> 01:20:51,840
Speaker 8: and I would turn it into a video call. Realizing

1648
01:20:51,880 --> 01:20:54,639
Speaker 8: that I'm the only one always doing that, I switched

1649
01:20:54,680 --> 01:20:57,240
Speaker 8: the call to video call and said I'm always the

1650
01:20:57,240 --> 01:21:01,439
Speaker 8: one video calling, but you always just voice call, and

1651
01:21:01,479 --> 01:21:04,520
Speaker 8: he exploded at this, once again, telling me I'm accusing

1652
01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:07,720
Speaker 8: him of something huge. I explained to him that I

1653
01:21:07,800 --> 01:21:10,000
Speaker 8: was not trying to, and that I just wanted for

1654
01:21:10,080 --> 01:21:13,120
Speaker 8: once to feel like he always wants to video call

1655
01:21:13,320 --> 01:21:16,120
Speaker 8: me too. I never intended for it to be serious

1656
01:21:16,240 --> 01:21:18,600
Speaker 8: or deep, and I was not even that upset. I

1657
01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:20,679
Speaker 8: told him all of this, and he was still talking

1658
01:21:20,800 --> 01:21:24,800
Speaker 8: very angrily, and once again desperately tried to tell him

1659
01:21:24,800 --> 01:21:26,920
Speaker 8: that I was sorry and that I hear him owning

1660
01:21:27,040 --> 01:21:29,160
Speaker 8: up to my mistake and explaining to him where I

1661
01:21:29,240 --> 01:21:29,920
Speaker 8: was coming from.

1662
01:21:30,400 --> 01:21:33,360
Speaker 5: Now, it just feels like anytime Opie brings up anything,

1663
01:21:33,400 --> 01:21:34,639
Speaker 5: he just lashes out.

1664
01:21:35,280 --> 01:21:39,120
Speaker 8: It seems like the pattern is when Opie's need isn't

1665
01:21:39,160 --> 01:21:43,000
Speaker 8: being met, she turns it into an accusation. Yeah, but

1666
01:21:43,080 --> 01:21:45,680
Speaker 8: it not like a huge accusation, but it's just kind

1667
01:21:45,680 --> 01:21:48,880
Speaker 8: of phrased a little accusatory. And then it seems like

1668
01:21:49,120 --> 01:21:52,160
Speaker 8: that very much triggers him, and then he launches into

1669
01:21:52,479 --> 01:21:53,799
Speaker 8: anger and then attacking.

1670
01:21:53,840 --> 01:21:57,920
Speaker 5: She's just unhealthy and I don't know how much longevity

1671
01:21:58,000 --> 01:21:59,400
Speaker 5: this relationship has.

1672
01:21:59,680 --> 01:22:02,720
Speaker 8: Yeah, if not addressed, it seems like this pattern is

1673
01:22:02,760 --> 01:22:04,080
Speaker 8: just gonna keep on going.

1674
01:22:04,640 --> 01:22:07,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, to the point where he's making her cry every time, Yeah,

1675
01:22:07,479 --> 01:22:08,320
Speaker 5: they have a conversation.

1676
01:22:08,479 --> 01:22:11,360
Speaker 3: Point, there's no point if you can't change how he's

1677
01:22:11,360 --> 01:22:13,519
Speaker 3: gonna react every time. Yeah, I would get out.

1678
01:22:13,720 --> 01:22:16,240
Speaker 8: I think I think there's room to like go to

1679
01:22:16,280 --> 01:22:19,559
Speaker 8: a meta level and like, hey, I love you, I

1680
01:22:19,560 --> 01:22:21,599
Speaker 8: want to have a healthy relationship with you, but.

1681
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:23,000
Speaker 5: Only if they can have that conversation.

1682
01:22:23,160 --> 01:22:24,719
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't, which a lot of people can't.

1683
01:22:24,720 --> 01:22:24,840
Speaker 4: Do.

1684
01:22:24,880 --> 01:22:26,200
Speaker 3: You think he's gonna lash out.

1685
01:22:26,040 --> 01:22:28,720
Speaker 5: Then, and then yeah, I think she's gonna be like, oh,

1686
01:22:28,720 --> 01:22:30,200
Speaker 5: I want to like have a better conversation.

1687
01:22:30,600 --> 01:22:31,080
Speaker 2: I love you.

1688
01:22:32,040 --> 01:22:34,360
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think if it's possibly phrase in a way

1689
01:22:34,520 --> 01:22:36,519
Speaker 8: like I love you, I want to have a healthy

1690
01:22:36,680 --> 01:22:40,479
Speaker 8: relationship with you. And I'm noticing this pattern. I'm doing

1691
01:22:40,560 --> 01:22:42,960
Speaker 8: this and it seems like this is what happens on

1692
01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:46,120
Speaker 8: your end. How can we go around creating a different.

1693
01:22:45,880 --> 01:22:50,120
Speaker 5: Pattern based on the story I think you would read poorly, sure,

1694
01:22:50,520 --> 01:22:53,320
Speaker 5: but we can read more and see if anything changes.

1695
01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:57,439
Speaker 6: Oh right, So the space just did not feel safe anymore,

1696
01:22:57,479 --> 01:22:59,800
Speaker 6: and I could feel my hands getting really cold from

1697
01:22:59,800 --> 01:23:03,200
Speaker 6: being fearful. I don't really remember what was being said

1698
01:23:03,280 --> 01:23:06,280
Speaker 6: because it's only the afternoon after and I'm still shaken

1699
01:23:06,320 --> 01:23:08,280
Speaker 6: by it. But whenever I was trying to tell him things,

1700
01:23:08,320 --> 01:23:11,479
Speaker 6: he would accuse me of things that aren't true. I

1701
01:23:11,560 --> 01:23:13,160
Speaker 6: point this out and he tells me that it's not

1702
01:23:13,280 --> 01:23:16,080
Speaker 6: the same because I accuse him of worse things you

1703
01:23:16,160 --> 01:23:20,800
Speaker 6: accused me of not video calling you. I desperately tried

1704
01:23:20,840 --> 01:23:22,559
Speaker 6: to tell him that I'm on his side, and then

1705
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:26,040
Speaker 6: I just want the conversation to be a conducive, efficient,

1706
01:23:26,680 --> 01:23:29,120
Speaker 6: kind and loving where we are talking to be better

1707
01:23:29,160 --> 01:23:31,200
Speaker 6: and to improve. He kept going.

1708
01:23:32,640 --> 01:23:34,919
Speaker 8: Sometimes I feel like he holds a lot of resentment

1709
01:23:34,960 --> 01:23:38,639
Speaker 8: towards me, and it just feels really bad because they

1710
01:23:38,760 --> 01:23:40,840
Speaker 8: are for things I have learned from. And he would

1711
01:23:40,880 --> 01:23:44,559
Speaker 8: suddenly bring it up in a related conversation and tell

1712
01:23:44,600 --> 01:23:46,639
Speaker 8: me he has been putting up with it when I

1713
01:23:46,720 --> 01:23:48,960
Speaker 8: always tell him to come forward to me if I've

1714
01:23:49,000 --> 01:23:52,640
Speaker 8: done anything that upset him. Instead of acknowledging this, he

1715
01:23:52,680 --> 01:23:55,519
Speaker 8: got upset because I said, I didn't like that you

1716
01:23:55,640 --> 01:24:00,040
Speaker 8: let me hurt you repeatedly. Because I don't like that

1717
01:24:00,120 --> 01:24:02,720
Speaker 8: you let me hurt you repeatedly. I don't know what

1718
01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:03,040
Speaker 8: that means.

1719
01:24:03,040 --> 01:24:05,600
Speaker 5: I don't know what that means either. Neither of these

1720
01:24:05,640 --> 01:24:06,920
Speaker 5: people are very good at communicating.

1721
01:24:07,680 --> 01:24:08,320
Speaker 6: I would agree.

1722
01:24:08,800 --> 01:24:11,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you think that's the root of why he's

1723
01:24:11,280 --> 01:24:13,400
Speaker 3: getting so aggressive, Like.

1724
01:24:13,320 --> 01:24:15,360
Speaker 6: It's just the communication. But I think it's on both ends.

1725
01:24:15,360 --> 01:24:17,760
Speaker 3: It's on both ends. It's like it's so bad that

1726
01:24:17,880 --> 01:24:22,559
Speaker 3: like maybe he's just getting so like aggressive because it's

1727
01:24:22,560 --> 01:24:24,640
Speaker 3: like so upsetting. Yeah, yeah, but no one, I mean

1728
01:24:24,880 --> 01:24:26,479
Speaker 3: you should I'm not defending it at all.

1729
01:24:26,640 --> 01:24:27,240
Speaker 5: No, I get it.

1730
01:24:27,760 --> 01:24:31,280
Speaker 8: I mean we're getting Op's context inside of the story.

1731
01:24:31,360 --> 01:24:33,599
Speaker 6: We don't know how the conversations are going, but.

1732
01:24:33,560 --> 01:24:36,240
Speaker 5: It seems like they're both bad at communication. It's frustrating

1733
01:24:36,280 --> 01:24:39,240
Speaker 5: me and every time that they try to communicate. It's

1734
01:24:39,280 --> 01:24:45,080
Speaker 5: this constant cycle of the ope you know, says something

1735
01:24:45,560 --> 01:24:48,880
Speaker 5: like asks for something in a bad way, like communicator. Yeah,

1736
01:24:48,920 --> 01:24:51,479
Speaker 5: the cue story way. He starts yelling and then she

1737
01:24:51,479 --> 01:24:54,920
Speaker 5: starts crying, and then he starts attact.

1738
01:24:54,600 --> 01:24:56,840
Speaker 6: For her being hurt by him yelling.

1739
01:24:57,000 --> 01:25:00,439
Speaker 3: It's it's like a screaming match of like yeah, it's

1740
01:25:00,479 --> 01:25:05,040
Speaker 3: like yeah, so yeah, it seems like communic good communication

1741
01:25:05,120 --> 01:25:06,439
Speaker 3: is not happening from any parties.

1742
01:25:06,439 --> 01:25:09,160
Speaker 8: But it seems like he's not to make a bad guy,

1743
01:25:09,200 --> 01:25:10,720
Speaker 8: but it seems like he's.

1744
01:25:10,439 --> 01:25:11,920
Speaker 6: Doing way more harm.

1745
01:25:12,040 --> 01:25:16,080
Speaker 8: Yeah, by acting so aggressive, and especially for a woman

1746
01:25:16,160 --> 01:25:17,840
Speaker 8: to receive aggression and anger.

1747
01:25:17,520 --> 01:25:18,000
Speaker 5: It's scary.

1748
01:25:18,120 --> 01:25:18,679
Speaker 6: It's scary.

1749
01:25:18,840 --> 01:25:20,600
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1750
01:25:19,360 --> 01:25:22,839
Speaker 8: Yeah, it is really taking a toll on me mentally,

1751
01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:24,960
Speaker 8: as I am just trying to have conversations that are

1752
01:25:25,080 --> 01:25:28,160
Speaker 8: really constructive and loving. I realized that there was nothing

1753
01:25:28,160 --> 01:25:30,280
Speaker 8: to say at this point because everything I say will

1754
01:25:30,320 --> 01:25:32,720
Speaker 8: not be understood or listened to it openly, and will

1755
01:25:32,760 --> 01:25:35,639
Speaker 8: be deflected. I just told him I do not want

1756
01:25:35,680 --> 01:25:37,840
Speaker 8: to talk at this moment, and want to only talk

1757
01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:41,080
Speaker 8: when we are both talking with intention to improve and

1758
01:25:41,160 --> 01:25:44,080
Speaker 8: not argue. He kept going, but I just stayed quiet.

1759
01:25:44,360 --> 01:25:46,880
Speaker 8: My hands got colder and colder, but I just stayed

1760
01:25:46,920 --> 01:25:50,680
Speaker 8: quiet because I knew that nothing could have been said anymore.

1761
01:25:50,800 --> 01:25:55,479
Speaker 8: Last night he stopped eventually, eventually, I hope she just

1762
01:25:55,520 --> 01:25:59,000
Speaker 8: didn't stand there and just let her let him attack her.

1763
01:25:59,120 --> 01:26:00,000
Speaker 8: I hope that's not what happen.

1764
01:26:00,280 --> 01:26:01,440
Speaker 5: This is not your relationship.

1765
01:26:02,160 --> 01:26:04,519
Speaker 8: He used to just let me sleep upset or when

1766
01:26:04,560 --> 01:26:06,559
Speaker 8: we're not in good terms. And I expressed to him,

1767
01:26:06,600 --> 01:26:09,280
Speaker 8: and he promised it he wouldn't let me sleep like

1768
01:26:09,320 --> 01:26:11,840
Speaker 8: that anymore. Anna, I will only sleep once we have

1769
01:26:11,960 --> 01:26:14,320
Speaker 8: established that we will get back to the issue kindly,

1770
01:26:14,640 --> 01:26:17,840
Speaker 8: and after reassuring that we love each other well. Last night,

1771
01:26:17,880 --> 01:26:21,400
Speaker 8: I asked him if he loves me to this. He said,

1772
01:26:22,040 --> 01:26:25,120
Speaker 8: why can't you tell me you love me? Do you

1773
01:26:25,200 --> 01:26:25,600
Speaker 8: love me?

1774
01:26:26,479 --> 01:26:27,599
Speaker 6: I told him I do.

1775
01:26:27,920 --> 01:26:31,000
Speaker 8: I'm sorry crying at this point, I just wanted to

1776
01:26:31,040 --> 01:26:34,639
Speaker 8: ask a reassurance. As an environment felt unsafe, I felt

1777
01:26:34,680 --> 01:26:37,720
Speaker 8: so helpless. I asked him for reassurance that when we

1778
01:26:37,800 --> 01:26:41,120
Speaker 8: revisit the situation, it will be a kind, loving, an

1779
01:26:41,240 --> 01:26:45,439
Speaker 8: understanding situation. He told me I was going around in

1780
01:26:45,479 --> 01:26:48,320
Speaker 8: a loop. I asked him to please just answer the question,

1781
01:26:48,400 --> 01:26:50,920
Speaker 8: and he answered with a tone where he sounded frustrated

1782
01:26:51,120 --> 01:26:53,719
Speaker 8: and just answered to make me stop so we could sleep.

1783
01:26:55,040 --> 01:26:55,400
Speaker 2: Okay.

1784
01:26:55,640 --> 01:26:59,920
Speaker 6: Another factor that's going on is that OP seems to

1785
01:27:00,160 --> 01:27:02,519
Speaker 6: be sensitive. And I'm not saying that in a in

1786
01:27:02,560 --> 01:27:04,000
Speaker 6: a negative sense at all.

1787
01:27:04,200 --> 01:27:06,040
Speaker 5: It does seem like he needs a lot of reassurance.

1788
01:27:06,080 --> 01:27:06,160
Speaker 6: She.

1789
01:27:06,479 --> 01:27:10,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, it seems like she's very anxious in her attachment style. Yes,

1790
01:27:10,439 --> 01:27:13,120
Speaker 5: like I need a lot of physical affection. I need

1791
01:27:13,160 --> 01:27:15,719
Speaker 5: you to video call me or otherwise you're not.

1792
01:27:15,880 --> 01:27:18,880
Speaker 6: I want to be lovely assured. Yeah, And we're not

1793
01:27:18,920 --> 01:27:19,639
Speaker 6: making it wrong.

1794
01:27:19,800 --> 01:27:22,200
Speaker 8: We're just saying it's like she has a big need

1795
01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:24,760
Speaker 8: for that, and it seems like at this point her

1796
01:27:24,800 --> 01:27:26,480
Speaker 8: partner can't meet that need.

1797
01:27:26,439 --> 01:27:31,160
Speaker 5: Doesn't want so, and actively has a capacity to actively Yes,

1798
01:27:31,360 --> 01:27:32,200
Speaker 5: actively thinks is.

1799
01:27:32,120 --> 01:27:36,120
Speaker 8: Wrong and that point is dangerous territory when our needs

1800
01:27:36,160 --> 01:27:39,880
Speaker 8: are made to be wrong by our partners. Yeah, okay,

1801
01:27:40,040 --> 01:27:42,200
Speaker 8: I told him I know you need silence, and I

1802
01:27:42,240 --> 01:27:44,880
Speaker 8: could give it to you. I'm just asking for reassurance

1803
01:27:44,960 --> 01:27:48,280
Speaker 8: before that, and he told me I think you need silence.

1804
01:27:49,200 --> 01:27:50,280
Speaker 6: No, she doesn't.

1805
01:27:50,360 --> 01:27:51,960
Speaker 5: She specifically said what she needed.

1806
01:27:52,240 --> 01:27:55,840
Speaker 8: Yeah, she needs reassurance when I just wanted reassurance. I'm

1807
01:27:55,840 --> 01:27:58,000
Speaker 8: truly tired of being talked to and treated this way.

1808
01:27:58,160 --> 01:28:00,040
Speaker 8: He is valid for being upset, but it is so

1809
01:28:00,120 --> 01:28:03,880
Speaker 8: hard for him to forgive and understand. He has a

1810
01:28:03,920 --> 01:28:06,520
Speaker 8: hard time believing me when I tell him my perspective.

1811
01:28:06,880 --> 01:28:09,479
Speaker 8: He always tells me that the circumstances I grew up

1812
01:28:09,520 --> 01:28:11,519
Speaker 8: in and had known are wrong.

1813
01:28:11,720 --> 01:28:12,719
Speaker 6: Whenever I tell him.

1814
01:28:12,560 --> 01:28:14,679
Speaker 8: That we are both different people who grew up differently,

1815
01:28:15,080 --> 01:28:16,559
Speaker 8: I always feel looked down upon.

1816
01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:17,439
Speaker 6: Whenever he does this.

1817
01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:20,439
Speaker 8: It hurts because I'm always down to listen to him

1818
01:28:20,439 --> 01:28:23,000
Speaker 8: and to understand him. He tells me why he thinks

1819
01:28:23,040 --> 01:28:25,200
Speaker 8: I did certain things and will stand on his assumption

1820
01:28:25,360 --> 01:28:26,919
Speaker 8: even though I've explained myself.

1821
01:28:27,280 --> 01:28:30,360
Speaker 6: I'm just sad. I'm torn between feeling like he's valid

1822
01:28:30,640 --> 01:28:32,680
Speaker 6: and he has the right to express his feelings with me,

1823
01:28:32,760 --> 01:28:34,679
Speaker 6: and not giving him a permit to talk and treat

1824
01:28:34,720 --> 01:28:37,840
Speaker 6: me however he likes whenever he is upset, especially when

1825
01:28:37,840 --> 01:28:41,280
Speaker 6: I have shown nothing but support for him and us.

1826
01:28:41,520 --> 01:28:44,280
Speaker 6: If you want support in your life, you could join

1827
01:28:44,400 --> 01:28:48,439
Speaker 6: us live on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok. Every week did

1828
01:28:48,520 --> 01:28:50,479
Speaker 6: three pmpst Just tap our profile.

1829
01:28:50,720 --> 01:28:51,160
Speaker 5: Tap it.

1830
01:28:51,560 --> 01:28:54,120
Speaker 6: So there's another relevant update. But let's discuss I feel

1831
01:28:54,120 --> 01:28:54,799
Speaker 6: like we've discussed.

1832
01:28:54,920 --> 01:28:57,599
Speaker 5: I feel like we've discussed. I think at this point

1833
01:28:58,760 --> 01:29:02,240
Speaker 5: it's no where like this, this relationship is over. Yeah,

1834
01:29:02,360 --> 01:29:05,800
Speaker 5: I think they've reached a stand still. Op is in

1835
01:29:07,439 --> 01:29:12,320
Speaker 5: an immovable object and her boyfriend is an unstoppable for uce,

1836
01:29:12,400 --> 01:29:16,760
Speaker 5: and they keep yeah different directions.

1837
01:29:16,439 --> 01:29:20,360
Speaker 6: D Read zero four their Love Language and Conflict Resolutions Class.

1838
01:29:20,600 --> 01:29:24,599
Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, that's a great Yeah. I think that's exactly yes.

1839
01:29:25,040 --> 01:29:29,880
Speaker 8: And also I think it goes beyond communication in the

1840
01:29:29,960 --> 01:29:33,439
Speaker 8: sense that when our needs are made to be wrong

1841
01:29:33,479 --> 01:29:36,720
Speaker 8: by our partners, it is dangerous and it is damaging

1842
01:29:37,280 --> 01:29:38,439
Speaker 8: and very wounding.

1843
01:29:38,520 --> 01:29:39,000
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

1844
01:29:39,080 --> 01:29:39,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1845
01:29:39,280 --> 01:29:41,799
Speaker 5: It's like not even that their love language is just different,

1846
01:29:41,880 --> 01:29:45,639
Speaker 5: it's that they actively are saying that the other one

1847
01:29:45,760 --> 01:29:48,160
Speaker 5: is like incorrect for having that type of love language.

1848
01:29:48,160 --> 01:29:52,240
Speaker 8: Well, it seems like he's harming her a lot with

1849
01:29:52,520 --> 01:29:54,280
Speaker 8: the way he's communicating, and.

1850
01:29:54,960 --> 01:29:56,559
Speaker 5: She's crying every time they have a conversation.

1851
01:29:56,560 --> 01:30:00,000
Speaker 6: You're just too sensitive and you need too much reassurance

1852
01:30:00,120 --> 01:30:02,320
Speaker 6: to all these things. That's so damaging to someone.

1853
01:30:02,400 --> 01:30:03,800
Speaker 5: It's like, if that's how you think, then why are

1854
01:30:03,840 --> 01:30:04,800
Speaker 5: you in this relationship?

1855
01:30:05,120 --> 01:30:05,320
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1856
01:30:06,160 --> 01:30:09,200
Speaker 8: Okay, he text me this morning asking to talk about

1857
01:30:09,200 --> 01:30:15,280
Speaker 8: the situation later and apologizey as he thinks he overreacted

1858
01:30:15,320 --> 01:30:18,280
Speaker 8: last night because he was already feeling dense prior to

1859
01:30:18,360 --> 01:30:22,360
Speaker 8: us talking to him, maybe defensiveness prior to us talking

1860
01:30:22,360 --> 01:30:23,920
Speaker 8: on the phone, as he had a lot going on

1861
01:30:24,000 --> 01:30:25,280
Speaker 8: in his day.

1862
01:30:25,320 --> 01:30:27,160
Speaker 6: But I don't want to feel like this anymore.

1863
01:30:27,560 --> 01:30:29,240
Speaker 8: I need advice and I want to go into the

1864
01:30:29,280 --> 01:30:32,800
Speaker 8: conversation later knowing what I want to say and what

1865
01:30:32,840 --> 01:30:33,519
Speaker 8: I can improve.

1866
01:30:33,840 --> 01:30:36,360
Speaker 6: Please help me. Thank you so much for reading this far.

1867
01:30:37,280 --> 01:30:38,400
Speaker 6: It's frownie face.

1868
01:30:38,520 --> 01:30:45,040
Speaker 5: Frownie face. I think going into the conversation.

1869
01:30:47,760 --> 01:30:50,760
Speaker 8: I would ask you ope, like do you think there's

1870
01:30:50,800 --> 01:30:55,880
Speaker 8: a possibility where you guys could adapt to communication in

1871
01:30:56,000 --> 01:30:58,280
Speaker 8: order for you both to feel good in a relationship

1872
01:30:58,520 --> 01:31:01,040
Speaker 8: or if it feels it was like that is like

1873
01:31:01,240 --> 01:31:04,920
Speaker 8: too big of a goal and like just being realistic

1874
01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:07,760
Speaker 8: with yourself and the state of your relationship thus far,

1875
01:31:08,280 --> 01:31:10,559
Speaker 8: like could you ever get to that point? Yeah, with

1876
01:31:10,600 --> 01:31:12,920
Speaker 8: the way you guys interact, and you might have to

1877
01:31:12,920 --> 01:31:15,479
Speaker 8: be honest with yourself and it might be no, we can't,

1878
01:31:15,800 --> 01:31:17,680
Speaker 8: we can't get there, And it's not really you know,

1879
01:31:17,880 --> 01:31:20,600
Speaker 8: faulting anyone, it's just maybe reality. You guys are just

1880
01:31:20,600 --> 01:31:23,200
Speaker 8: too different and so it might need to be something

1881
01:31:23,240 --> 01:31:25,600
Speaker 8: that you reflect on before going into the conversation of

1882
01:31:25,680 --> 01:31:27,680
Speaker 8: do you think there's even a repair here? Do you

1883
01:31:27,680 --> 01:31:29,240
Speaker 8: think there's a possibility for repair?

1884
01:31:30,520 --> 01:31:34,439
Speaker 5: Can either of you change or just.

1885
01:31:36,000 --> 01:31:37,799
Speaker 6: Adapt your authentication style?

1886
01:31:38,080 --> 01:31:40,879
Speaker 5: That's true, yeah, but that's the end of that story.

1887
01:31:41,120 --> 01:31:44,400
Speaker 5: My boyfriend says he loves me, but I'm getting messages

1888
01:31:44,439 --> 01:31:46,360
Speaker 5: from girls warning me about him.

1889
01:31:46,720 --> 01:31:50,320
Speaker 6: Oh, both are true at the same time.

1890
01:31:51,720 --> 01:31:54,000
Speaker 5: I twenty two female, have been in a relationship with

1891
01:31:54,040 --> 01:31:57,920
Speaker 5: my partner, twenty male for over two years. The relationship

1892
01:31:57,920 --> 01:32:01,439
Speaker 5: with my partner is great. He's very sweet, attentive, pays

1893
01:32:01,479 --> 01:32:05,160
Speaker 5: attention to the little details, and loves spoiling me. And

1894
01:32:05,240 --> 01:32:08,320
Speaker 5: he always cares about my feelings and he's always showing

1895
01:32:08,360 --> 01:32:09,479
Speaker 5: me how much he loves me.

1896
01:32:09,760 --> 01:32:11,320
Speaker 6: Not like the last story we read.

1897
01:32:11,560 --> 01:32:14,720
Speaker 5: No, by the way, this comes from Lovely Jasmine ten

1898
01:32:14,840 --> 01:32:17,960
Speaker 5: on the Okay storytime Separate it. But in the past

1899
01:32:18,160 --> 01:32:21,240
Speaker 5: two girls have contacted me on Instagram to complain about

1900
01:32:21,240 --> 01:32:24,880
Speaker 5: my boyfriend. The first girl contacted me saying this, Hey,

1901
01:32:25,240 --> 01:32:27,400
Speaker 5: I know you're dating X and I just wanted you

1902
01:32:27,439 --> 01:32:30,200
Speaker 5: to know that he's been texting me and thayings some

1903
01:32:30,439 --> 01:32:34,120
Speaker 5: questionable things. Even if he's just joking, and I just

1904
01:32:34,160 --> 01:32:35,960
Speaker 5: thought I would let you know because it makes me

1905
01:32:36,040 --> 01:32:39,559
Speaker 5: uncomfortable in general, and it makes me especially uncomfortable knowing

1906
01:32:39,600 --> 01:32:40,920
Speaker 5: he has a girlfriends.

1907
01:32:41,560 --> 01:32:42,639
Speaker 6: Girls girls.

1908
01:32:42,640 --> 01:32:44,360
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, girls, girl girls.

1909
01:32:44,560 --> 01:32:47,759
Speaker 5: The screenshot she sent me wasn't anything bad in my opinion.

1910
01:32:48,040 --> 01:32:50,240
Speaker 5: There was a moment he asks her what she's doing.

1911
01:32:50,479 --> 01:32:52,720
Speaker 5: She responds with we're going to eat, and then he

1912
01:32:52,760 --> 01:33:00,200
Speaker 5: answers with Dee's nuts. What she replies with not funny

1913
01:33:02,400 --> 01:33:04,040
Speaker 5: depends on how well he knows this girl.

1914
01:33:04,520 --> 01:33:05,520
Speaker 6: It's hilarious.

1915
01:33:05,800 --> 01:33:09,360
Speaker 5: Then she text me saying I don't have anything else, unfortunately,

1916
01:33:09,439 --> 01:33:12,280
Speaker 5: but he keeps talking about giving him head. Who being

1917
01:33:12,280 --> 01:33:14,559
Speaker 5: a bit pushy too. I wish I had more to

1918
01:33:14,600 --> 01:33:17,120
Speaker 5: give because I know I can't say anything without proof.

1919
01:33:17,280 --> 01:33:21,160
Speaker 3: Where's the proof of? Yeah, you have the one screenshots nuts.

1920
01:33:22,520 --> 01:33:24,240
Speaker 5: The other one's much much worse.

1921
01:33:24,080 --> 01:33:27,280
Speaker 6: From's nuts to trying to get her to give you head.

1922
01:33:27,400 --> 01:33:30,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's much damning, much more damning. After that, she

1923
01:33:30,920 --> 01:33:33,240
Speaker 5: sent me a screenshot she took from a snappy center.

1924
01:33:33,479 --> 01:33:36,599
Speaker 5: The picture was he was lying in bed only showing

1925
01:33:36,600 --> 01:33:38,320
Speaker 5: his legs but in black underwear.

1926
01:33:38,400 --> 01:33:38,799
Speaker 6: Oh.

1927
01:33:38,840 --> 01:33:40,960
Speaker 5: I know it was him because it was his room

1928
01:33:41,320 --> 01:33:43,120
Speaker 5: and I also knew it was recent because in the

1929
01:33:43,160 --> 01:33:45,439
Speaker 5: picture I was only able to see something that was

1930
01:33:45,520 --> 01:33:48,120
Speaker 5: mine and I, oh, I was able to see something

1931
01:33:48,120 --> 01:33:50,040
Speaker 5: that was mine. And I want to add that they

1932
01:33:50,120 --> 01:33:51,320
Speaker 5: dated in middle school.

1933
01:33:51,840 --> 01:33:56,160
Speaker 6: Okay, well this is starting out real frisky. Go he's

1934
01:33:56,160 --> 01:34:00,000
Speaker 6: sending underwear picks to a girl. It's highly questionable.

1935
01:34:00,280 --> 01:34:03,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was not good. Sighs, sighs.

1936
01:34:03,840 --> 01:34:06,880
Speaker 5: I thanked her, and I apologized for what happened. I

1937
01:34:06,920 --> 01:34:09,280
Speaker 5: talked to him and he said that I was misunderstanding.

1938
01:34:10,200 --> 01:34:12,000
Speaker 6: You don't get it, baby, It's not what you think.

1939
01:34:12,120 --> 01:34:13,439
Speaker 6: It's not what you think. But I'm not going to

1940
01:34:13,520 --> 01:34:14,400
Speaker 6: tell you what's reality.

1941
01:34:14,479 --> 01:34:16,479
Speaker 5: Yeah, and that nothing bad happened, that it was just

1942
01:34:16,600 --> 01:34:20,240
Speaker 5: joking around. I asked him about the giving head part, and.

1943
01:34:20,160 --> 01:34:21,200
Speaker 6: He said it wasn't true.

1944
01:34:22,000 --> 01:34:23,680
Speaker 5: I didn't have the proof, so all I could do

1945
01:34:23,800 --> 01:34:26,519
Speaker 5: was believe him that's not true. What I don't think

1946
01:34:26,600 --> 01:34:28,680
Speaker 5: people are always like, oh, I needed the proof. You

1947
01:34:28,720 --> 01:34:30,840
Speaker 5: can just we don't have to stay with someone.

1948
01:34:31,680 --> 01:34:34,280
Speaker 8: Well, yeah, but this isn't this is hopefully, and I

1949
01:34:34,320 --> 01:34:36,720
Speaker 8: held the relationship that you know, if someone's making an

1950
01:34:36,720 --> 01:34:39,160
Speaker 8: accusation of your boyfriend and there's no proof that you

1951
01:34:39,360 --> 01:34:42,000
Speaker 8: could trust your partner, but there is.

1952
01:34:41,960 --> 01:34:44,800
Speaker 5: A proof of other things. I don't think you necessarily

1953
01:34:44,840 --> 01:34:47,559
Speaker 5: need the proof of Oh, I asked her to give

1954
01:34:47,600 --> 01:34:53,000
Speaker 5: me head to see that he's clearly being pretty pretty

1955
01:34:53,040 --> 01:34:55,559
Speaker 5: sneaky and doing bad stuff.

1956
01:34:55,760 --> 01:34:59,120
Speaker 6: It's so far it's very questionable. We don't know if

1957
01:34:59,120 --> 01:34:59,840
Speaker 6: you asked for head.

1958
01:35:00,479 --> 01:35:02,479
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know. I think he's already I think

1959
01:35:02,479 --> 01:35:06,719
Speaker 5: he's already out even before that, without that proof about

1960
01:35:06,760 --> 01:35:09,080
Speaker 5: the underwear, he said that his phone brightness was low,

1961
01:35:09,360 --> 01:35:11,960
Speaker 5: so he didn't realize that his thing was poking out

1962
01:35:12,000 --> 01:35:20,639
Speaker 5: a little bit. Geeesh, what bretak up with this man?

1963
01:35:21,160 --> 01:35:24,120
Speaker 5: He didn't it was dark and he even showed me

1964
01:35:24,200 --> 01:35:26,559
Speaker 5: and made sense not really at the same time, because

1965
01:35:26,560 --> 01:35:28,720
Speaker 5: his phone is bright twenty four to seven and he

1966
01:35:28,760 --> 01:35:31,200
Speaker 5: doesn't like when we were watching videos on my phone

1967
01:35:31,240 --> 01:35:35,080
Speaker 5: and the light is low. Does that make it suspicious?

1968
01:35:35,760 --> 01:35:38,519
Speaker 5: But I believed him. Stop believing in him.

1969
01:35:38,640 --> 01:35:41,880
Speaker 6: Well, we're about to add to evidence with another person.

1970
01:35:42,360 --> 01:35:46,040
Speaker 5: Then another person sent me screenshots of different snap saying,

1971
01:35:46,200 --> 01:35:49,120
Speaker 5: run the picks and pull up and dang, do you

1972
01:35:49,120 --> 01:35:51,960
Speaker 5: have four picks of you? Tell me about you? Yeah,

1973
01:35:52,200 --> 01:35:54,320
Speaker 5: by the way, where are you at right now? This

1974
01:35:54,560 --> 01:35:58,760
Speaker 5: he's clearly trying to cheat and what you're doing? I yeah,

1975
01:35:58,840 --> 01:36:00,719
Speaker 5: the only reason he hasn't cheated on you is because

1976
01:36:00,720 --> 01:36:02,960
Speaker 5: no one wants to cheat on you with him.

1977
01:36:03,680 --> 01:36:03,920
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1978
01:36:04,200 --> 01:36:07,040
Speaker 5: I don't remember what exactly happened on this one in

1979
01:36:07,080 --> 01:36:09,960
Speaker 5: the end. I remember talking to him about it, but

1980
01:36:10,000 --> 01:36:12,559
Speaker 5: I don't remember what happened. But looking at it again,

1981
01:36:12,600 --> 01:36:14,639
Speaker 5: it makes me feel so weird.

1982
01:36:14,840 --> 01:36:20,680
Speaker 6: This guy's an f boy, He's terrible. Yallo baby to

1983
01:36:20,800 --> 01:36:21,760
Speaker 6: not sh where are you at?

1984
01:36:22,280 --> 01:36:22,720
Speaker 2: But for real?

1985
01:36:22,760 --> 01:36:22,880
Speaker 3: Though?

1986
01:36:23,640 --> 01:36:26,280
Speaker 5: The last one was with another girl who contacted me,

1987
01:36:26,360 --> 01:36:33,040
Speaker 5: also a third girl after the first one out shame

1988
01:36:33,120 --> 01:36:40,040
Speaker 5: on you, shame on me only three times on shame

1989
01:36:40,160 --> 01:36:44,280
Speaker 5: shame probably was like a Facebook group against him. Hey,

1990
01:36:44,520 --> 01:36:46,439
Speaker 5: I don't know if you know. Your boyfriend added me

1991
01:36:46,479 --> 01:36:48,360
Speaker 5: on Snap and was asking me if I was a

1992
01:36:48,439 --> 01:36:50,360
Speaker 5: throat for his friend.

1993
01:36:50,520 --> 01:36:50,800
Speaker 3: Wow.

1994
01:36:51,320 --> 01:36:52,679
Speaker 2: Wow, this guy's wild.

1995
01:36:52,840 --> 01:36:53,639
Speaker 3: This guy is unhid.

1996
01:36:53,800 --> 01:36:56,439
Speaker 6: This guy is hein is an unhanded And.

1997
01:36:56,479 --> 01:36:58,120
Speaker 5: I don't know how true that is, but I wanted

1998
01:36:58,160 --> 01:37:00,200
Speaker 5: you to know either way and probably have a talk

1999
01:37:00,280 --> 01:37:03,280
Speaker 5: with him about objectifying women like that, because I don't

2000
01:37:03,280 --> 01:37:06,160
Speaker 5: know why they thought I'd be down for that. She

2001
01:37:06,280 --> 01:37:10,520
Speaker 5: showed me the proof. Finally, we have proof. I apologized

2002
01:37:10,520 --> 01:37:12,080
Speaker 5: to her and told her I was going to speak

2003
01:37:12,120 --> 01:37:14,360
Speaker 5: with him, which I did, and he said that he

2004
01:37:14,400 --> 01:37:16,760
Speaker 5: asked about it for his friend, but he understood that

2005
01:37:16,800 --> 01:37:18,680
Speaker 5: it wasn't right, and I got over it.

2006
01:37:18,760 --> 01:37:22,479
Speaker 6: My friend wanted to know, girl, if you were a.

2007
01:37:24,000 --> 01:37:28,320
Speaker 5: Girls, you're twenty two. I'm sorry. You're twenty two. You're

2008
01:37:28,320 --> 01:37:28,880
Speaker 5: not stupid.

2009
01:37:29,000 --> 01:37:29,799
Speaker 6: This is wild.

2010
01:37:30,000 --> 01:37:33,720
Speaker 5: I don't know. So you are stupid, but you shouldn't be.

2011
01:37:33,800 --> 01:37:34,439
Speaker 5: You're twenty two.

2012
01:37:34,560 --> 01:37:35,360
Speaker 6: This is wild.

2013
01:37:35,520 --> 01:37:38,040
Speaker 5: He's twenty like an idiot dude.

2014
01:37:38,040 --> 01:37:42,200
Speaker 6: The way he's talking throw go, you're in inappropriate.

2015
01:37:42,280 --> 01:37:45,640
Speaker 3: He sounds so skibbitty.

2016
01:37:45,720 --> 01:37:48,920
Speaker 5: Why are you with him? Stop apologizing to the girls?

2017
01:37:48,960 --> 01:37:52,120
Speaker 6: I apologizing for you.

2018
01:37:52,120 --> 01:37:52,840
Speaker 5: Break up with him.

2019
01:37:53,240 --> 01:37:55,599
Speaker 3: I'm so shocked, Like what the other girls are like, Hey,

2020
01:37:55,640 --> 01:37:58,799
Speaker 3: I gave you the facts. I gave you literally the details,

2021
01:37:58,840 --> 01:37:59,720
Speaker 3: and you're still with him.

2022
01:38:00,160 --> 01:38:02,559
Speaker 5: Well, I wasn't quite sure. I didn't have the proof.

2023
01:38:02,760 --> 01:38:04,400
Speaker 6: I don't know what he meant by throat go.

2024
01:38:04,880 --> 01:38:07,559
Speaker 5: Like, girl, you're not in a court of law. There

2025
01:38:07,640 --> 01:38:10,519
Speaker 5: is no innocent until proven guilty. You can just break

2026
01:38:10,600 --> 01:38:11,040
Speaker 5: up with him.

2027
01:38:11,080 --> 01:38:17,120
Speaker 6: But she got evidence, not from one person, from multiple

2028
01:38:18,560 --> 01:38:19,639
Speaker 6: You have the evidence?

2029
01:38:22,120 --> 01:38:24,479
Speaker 2: All right, All that happened a year ago.

2030
01:38:25,000 --> 01:38:25,439
Speaker 5: A year.

2031
01:38:25,600 --> 01:38:27,160
Speaker 6: It's been a year, and.

2032
01:38:27,120 --> 01:38:31,360
Speaker 5: I decided to believe him. Even after all that. I

2033
01:38:31,400 --> 01:38:32,000
Speaker 5: believed him.

2034
01:38:32,040 --> 01:38:35,120
Speaker 6: Girl, Well, this is like another story when OPI was

2035
01:38:35,160 --> 01:38:39,000
Speaker 6: being so ridiculously forgiving that.

2036
01:38:39,240 --> 01:38:41,320
Speaker 5: Yes, I am pissed off at you, Op, because what

2037
01:38:41,320 --> 01:38:45,640
Speaker 5: do you mean you believed him? He confessed? He confessed,

2038
01:38:45,840 --> 01:38:48,240
Speaker 5: he said, oh, I did say that. I did say that.

2039
01:38:48,439 --> 01:38:50,200
Speaker 6: Was like, I shouldn't have said that he was.

2040
01:38:50,160 --> 01:38:52,720
Speaker 5: For a friend, But I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry,

2041
01:38:52,920 --> 01:38:59,639
Speaker 5: He confessed, You're stupid twenty two years old. This isn't

2042
01:38:59,680 --> 01:39:02,840
Speaker 5: even like, oh, they were eighteen, you're twenty two. I

2043
01:39:02,880 --> 01:39:04,000
Speaker 5: was twenty two last year.

2044
01:39:05,120 --> 01:39:06,080
Speaker 3: Really, yeah, it's hip.

2045
01:39:08,520 --> 01:39:13,599
Speaker 6: Thanks, you're that I would never have before you twenty three.

2046
01:39:13,840 --> 01:39:15,720
Speaker 6: He well, you don't get jam.

2047
01:39:16,439 --> 01:39:20,599
Speaker 5: I'm just checked, no wonder. I'm not a jealous person

2048
01:39:20,680 --> 01:39:22,759
Speaker 5: because I know that if I'm in a relationship with someone,

2049
01:39:22,960 --> 01:39:26,120
Speaker 5: it's because I trust them and I know they're going

2050
01:39:26,160 --> 01:39:28,320
Speaker 5: to give me my place, and if they cheat, I'll

2051
01:39:28,360 --> 01:39:30,400
Speaker 5: find out one way or the other, no matter how

2052
01:39:30,479 --> 01:39:31,759
Speaker 5: much time needs to pass.

2053
01:39:31,960 --> 01:39:36,120
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'll.

2054
01:39:35,680 --> 01:39:36,479
Speaker 5: Stress about it.

2055
01:39:36,640 --> 01:39:36,920
Speaker 3: Girl.

2056
01:39:37,360 --> 01:39:40,120
Speaker 6: Girl, I think I think she's a little too secure.

2057
01:39:41,280 --> 01:39:44,640
Speaker 5: Or too secure. You're on the Titanic and you're like

2058
01:39:44,760 --> 01:39:45,400
Speaker 5: it's fine.

2059
01:39:45,800 --> 01:39:48,360
Speaker 6: It's like everyone's screaming and it's drowning.

2060
01:39:48,160 --> 01:39:50,800
Speaker 5: Like, oh gods, guys, they said the ship was unsinkable.

2061
01:39:51,080 --> 01:39:57,000
Speaker 6: They were good. They're like, we're good. Oh way, but

2062
01:39:57,040 --> 01:39:57,599
Speaker 6: I'm more true.

2063
01:39:58,560 --> 01:40:01,680
Speaker 5: But a month ago, something happened. Because for all that

2064
01:40:01,800 --> 01:40:03,880
Speaker 5: happened with him on Snapchat, he told me he was

2065
01:40:03,880 --> 01:40:06,120
Speaker 5: going to delete Snapchat because he didn't want to have

2066
01:40:06,200 --> 01:40:13,920
Speaker 5: more misunderstandings misunderstandings. I told him he didn't have to,

2067
01:40:14,080 --> 01:40:16,920
Speaker 5: but he said he was going to do it. So continuing,

2068
01:40:17,280 --> 01:40:19,160
Speaker 5: a month ago, I needed him to help me with

2069
01:40:19,160 --> 01:40:21,200
Speaker 5: a math problem. He was on the couch and when

2070
01:40:21,200 --> 01:40:24,200
Speaker 5: I got close to him, I show I saw him

2071
01:40:24,320 --> 01:40:26,040
Speaker 5: texting with a girl on Snapcho.

2072
01:40:26,479 --> 01:40:28,120
Speaker 6: After he said he was going to delete.

2073
01:40:27,880 --> 01:40:31,280
Speaker 5: It, but then he turned off his phone. My heart

2074
01:40:31,320 --> 01:40:34,040
Speaker 5: started beating so fast. I went back to my room.

2075
01:40:34,320 --> 01:40:35,960
Speaker 5: I knew if I asked him about it, there was

2076
01:40:35,960 --> 01:40:38,519
Speaker 5: a chance he was going to delete the messages. So

2077
01:40:38,600 --> 01:40:40,760
Speaker 5: I went back and asked him if I could use

2078
01:40:40,760 --> 01:40:43,120
Speaker 5: his phone because I needed a calculator and I was

2079
01:40:43,200 --> 01:40:47,120
Speaker 5: using my phone to watch the YouTube explanation he gave

2080
01:40:47,160 --> 01:40:49,559
Speaker 5: it to me. I know what I did was wrong

2081
01:40:49,840 --> 01:40:52,519
Speaker 5: going through his phone without his consent, but I needed

2082
01:40:52,520 --> 01:40:52,840
Speaker 5: to know.

2083
01:40:53,160 --> 01:40:55,040
Speaker 6: Do you think what do you think she's gonna.

2084
01:40:54,760 --> 01:41:02,960
Speaker 5: Find everything that he told her about? If he told

2085
01:41:03,000 --> 01:41:05,519
Speaker 5: me before that he downloaded Snapchat, I would have been

2086
01:41:05,560 --> 01:41:09,200
Speaker 5: fine with it, but he didn't even have me added.

2087
01:41:09,680 --> 01:41:11,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, so he was like hiding it because he wasn't

2088
01:41:11,920 --> 01:41:12,720
Speaker 6: even friends with her.

2089
01:41:12,960 --> 01:41:16,639
Speaker 5: Oh yeah. I went back to my room and started scrolling.

2090
01:41:17,840 --> 01:41:19,880
Speaker 5: My anxiety was going through the roof and I didn't

2091
01:41:19,920 --> 01:41:22,120
Speaker 5: take the time to read. He went to my room

2092
01:41:22,160 --> 01:41:23,600
Speaker 5: and said, can I have my phone? I need to

2093
01:41:23,600 --> 01:41:26,840
Speaker 5: call why his friend? He did, and I gave him

2094
01:41:26,880 --> 01:41:30,040
Speaker 5: his phone back. There we go. When I type Snapchat

2095
01:41:30,040 --> 01:41:32,599
Speaker 5: on his phone, it was gone. He deleted it in

2096
01:41:32,640 --> 01:41:34,720
Speaker 5: front of my in front of me while trying to

2097
01:41:34,760 --> 01:41:37,040
Speaker 5: call his friend, and left the room because he needed

2098
01:41:37,040 --> 01:41:37,880
Speaker 5: to look for something.

2099
01:41:38,080 --> 01:41:38,439
Speaker 3: Damn.

2100
01:41:38,800 --> 01:41:42,240
Speaker 5: That made my anxiety worse. Why would he delete the app,

2101
01:41:42,520 --> 01:41:45,439
Speaker 5: I asked myself, because he's she didn't he wants to

2102
01:41:45,479 --> 01:41:48,200
Speaker 5: cheat on you because he's texting other girls and asking

2103
01:41:48,760 --> 01:41:50,400
Speaker 5: to sleep with them and they're refusing.

2104
01:41:50,520 --> 01:41:52,680
Speaker 8: Well, he's not asking to sleep with them, he's just

2105
01:41:52,680 --> 01:41:53,880
Speaker 8: asking if their throat goats.

2106
01:41:54,000 --> 01:41:55,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, so's way different.

2107
01:41:55,960 --> 01:41:57,880
Speaker 5: It's such a different You're right, you're right.

2108
01:41:57,960 --> 01:41:58,880
Speaker 6: Can you just be fair?

2109
01:41:59,120 --> 01:42:00,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, hasn't done anything wrong.

2110
01:42:01,040 --> 01:42:03,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, and it's and he's asking for a friend, by

2111
01:42:03,479 --> 01:42:04,960
Speaker 6: the way, Yeah, it's.

2112
01:42:04,880 --> 01:42:08,320
Speaker 5: Not for him. Yeah. When he came back, I confronted

2113
01:42:08,400 --> 01:42:10,840
Speaker 5: him about it. He got upset at me because I

2114
01:42:10,880 --> 01:42:13,360
Speaker 5: went through his phone, saying that those chats are with

2115
01:42:13,439 --> 01:42:16,360
Speaker 5: people who trust him to open it and he doesn't

2116
01:42:16,360 --> 01:42:19,080
Speaker 5: feel comfortable showing their messages, which makes sense.

2117
01:42:21,280 --> 01:42:22,080
Speaker 6: She's his biggest fan.

2118
01:42:22,240 --> 01:42:24,680
Speaker 5: She's like, yeah, that's that's that. I get that, So

2119
01:42:24,800 --> 01:42:26,600
Speaker 5: I shouldn't have done that on me.

2120
01:42:26,880 --> 01:42:27,040
Speaker 6: Oh.

2121
01:42:27,080 --> 01:42:29,720
Speaker 5: I told him to not show the other chat chats,

2122
01:42:29,840 --> 01:42:32,040
Speaker 5: just the one girl he was talking with, and he

2123
01:42:32,080 --> 01:42:34,439
Speaker 5: said no, because she's opening up to him about her

2124
01:42:34,479 --> 01:42:35,200
Speaker 5: past trauma.

2125
01:42:35,520 --> 01:42:36,679
Speaker 6: He's a respectful king.

2126
01:42:37,240 --> 01:42:40,880
Speaker 5: She's like, she's opening up to me in many ways

2127
01:42:40,920 --> 01:42:42,080
Speaker 5: and I can't share that with you.

2128
01:42:42,240 --> 01:42:45,599
Speaker 6: Some of them visual, but you can open.

2129
01:42:45,479 --> 01:42:48,320
Speaker 5: Up to us by Johnny's Live every WEEKDA I THREEVMPSD

2130
01:42:48,439 --> 01:42:50,280
Speaker 5: on YouTube, on Facebook, on TikTok.

2131
01:42:50,439 --> 01:42:52,080
Speaker 6: It's just tap her profile, sometimes.

2132
01:42:51,840 --> 01:42:56,360
Speaker 5: Visual, sometime visually. But there is a more to this story.

2133
01:42:58,840 --> 01:43:00,960
Speaker 5: But I'm kind of shocked. How Opie is still here?

2134
01:43:01,360 --> 01:43:01,880
Speaker 6: Yeah.

2135
01:43:01,960 --> 01:43:03,840
Speaker 5: I asked him to show me a chat with another

2136
01:43:03,880 --> 01:43:06,880
Speaker 5: female because I saw a few, and he said no,

2137
01:43:09,400 --> 01:43:12,599
Speaker 5: asking me, don't you trust, which I responded with I

2138
01:43:12,720 --> 01:43:16,559
Speaker 5: used to, but right now I don't.

2139
01:43:16,640 --> 01:43:18,280
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, blow the hair.

2140
01:43:18,840 --> 01:43:24,080
Speaker 5: Wait wait, oh, it's the opposoite away. I'm going to

2141
01:43:24,240 --> 01:43:26,880
Speaker 5: text all my friends if they're okay with you going

2142
01:43:26,880 --> 01:43:29,639
Speaker 5: through their messages, and if they say yes, I will

2143
01:43:29,640 --> 01:43:32,280
Speaker 5: show you, which upset me because I wasn't trying to

2144
01:43:32,280 --> 01:43:34,439
Speaker 5: be nosy and know all about their lives. Oh. So

2145
01:43:34,520 --> 01:43:36,919
Speaker 5: he was like, I'm going to text all my friends

2146
01:43:36,960 --> 01:43:39,400
Speaker 5: and ask them if I can show you the messages.

2147
01:43:39,760 --> 01:43:41,160
Speaker 5: So he's trying to make her feel bad. I guess.

2148
01:43:41,200 --> 01:43:41,760
Speaker 6: Yeah.

2149
01:43:41,800 --> 01:43:43,839
Speaker 5: All I wanted to know was if I was wasting

2150
01:43:43,880 --> 01:43:46,000
Speaker 5: my time or not you are. In the end, he

2151
01:43:46,080 --> 01:43:48,320
Speaker 5: never showed me his phone and apologized, but asked me

2152
01:43:48,360 --> 01:43:50,320
Speaker 5: to understand his point of things.

2153
01:43:52,720 --> 01:43:53,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, say en, say it.

2154
01:43:54,040 --> 01:43:56,759
Speaker 5: What is she You're dumb? You're dumb?

2155
01:43:56,960 --> 01:43:57,320
Speaker 2: Say it.

2156
01:43:57,600 --> 01:43:59,960
Speaker 5: You're twenty two and you don't have any excuses.

2157
01:44:00,200 --> 01:44:01,280
Speaker 3: I don't know about you.

2158
01:44:01,720 --> 01:44:04,440
Speaker 2: I'm feeling really stupid exactly.

2159
01:44:05,040 --> 01:44:07,160
Speaker 5: Since then, I've just been thinking about it because he

2160
01:44:07,200 --> 01:44:11,200
Speaker 5: treats me with so much love, and he's never been distant.

2161
01:44:11,760 --> 01:44:14,320
Speaker 5: He always wants to spend time with me and makes

2162
01:44:14,320 --> 01:44:16,759
Speaker 5: me happy. So it makes it so confusing and hard.

2163
01:44:17,520 --> 01:44:22,360
Speaker 5: Am I overthinking? Underthinking? You're underthinking? You only have one

2164
01:44:22,400 --> 01:44:25,400
Speaker 5: brain cell and it's not working. Damn, it's not.

2165
01:44:25,439 --> 01:44:28,360
Speaker 3: You're not using No.

2166
01:44:27,720 --> 01:44:33,120
Speaker 5: No, no, he's tough with your boyfriend.

2167
01:44:34,320 --> 01:44:37,200
Speaker 3: It's not even tough love anymore. Just just god, you're stupid.

2168
01:44:37,840 --> 01:44:39,320
Speaker 6: She's she wants to believe.

2169
01:44:39,680 --> 01:44:40,000
Speaker 5: I don't.

2170
01:44:40,160 --> 01:44:46,320
Speaker 2: Don't wants to believe that her partner is faithful to.

2171
01:44:46,320 --> 01:44:49,879
Speaker 5: Her, But he's proven time. When someone shows you pictures

2172
01:44:49,920 --> 01:44:52,480
Speaker 5: and they say, hey, I'm being unfaithful to you.

2173
01:44:53,439 --> 01:44:57,280
Speaker 8: We're all delusional and self biased in our own ways.

2174
01:44:57,360 --> 01:44:59,840
Speaker 3: I guarantee you. I guarantee you. The boyfriend's like not,

2175
01:45:00,000 --> 01:45:01,920
Speaker 3: they're just jealous of you. Babe.

2176
01:45:02,080 --> 01:45:06,519
Speaker 5: You're the only one for me. These ten other girls

2177
01:45:06,560 --> 01:45:08,080
Speaker 5: are meaningless.

2178
01:45:08,200 --> 01:45:09,720
Speaker 6: These ten other throat coats.

2179
01:45:09,720 --> 01:45:10,760
Speaker 5: They're meaningless.

2180
01:45:11,280 --> 01:45:15,800
Speaker 3: They won't talk to me. Yeah, babe, you know you

2181
01:45:15,840 --> 01:45:17,679
Speaker 3: know what they say, shooters got to shoot.

2182
01:45:18,600 --> 01:45:21,839
Speaker 5: I simply am trying. I actually say that, I'm actually

2183
01:45:21,920 --> 01:45:27,639
Speaker 5: practicing for you. I'm like trying to you know, that's kind. Yeah,

2184
01:45:28,080 --> 01:45:31,439
Speaker 5: it's consideration if you think about it. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah,

2185
01:45:31,800 --> 01:45:33,600
Speaker 5: you're actually not doing enough for me.

2186
01:45:33,760 --> 01:45:36,439
Speaker 6: Oh so o P needs to practice with other men

2187
01:45:36,960 --> 01:45:37,800
Speaker 6: at this point.

2188
01:45:37,560 --> 01:45:39,799
Speaker 5: And then maybe also break up with your boyfriend.

2189
01:45:39,840 --> 01:45:41,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, probably too, but that's.

2190
01:45:41,240 --> 01:45:43,080
Speaker 5: The end of the story. So if you love us,

2191
01:45:43,280 --> 01:45:44,480
Speaker 5: make sure to subscribe.