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Speaker 1: Celebrity Book Club. Who's that knocking at the door. It's

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Speaker 1: all your friends, your filthy horse, Your husband's gone and

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Speaker 1: you've got books on a bottle of wine to kill

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Speaker 1: in Hollywood's books. It's gossip. I'm sure it's memoirs. Teeny

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Speaker 1: opifty floor club. Come read it while it's hot. Celebrity

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Speaker 1: book Club, tell your secrets. We won't talk celebrity books.

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Speaker 1: No boys are aloud, celebrit book say it loud and

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Speaker 1: pound Celebrity book Club. Buzz mean I brought the queer

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Speaker 1: Poe boo best friend friend. Hey spook elicious Hoe, my

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Speaker 1: body's too spook delicious fine boom, hey devil? Can you

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Speaker 1: and of this happy? All hallowsy? You crazy bitch? M hell? Yes? Um,

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Speaker 1: And this is just a PSA for costumes this year. Um,

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Speaker 1: just to give it a second thought before you Yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe do sensitivity check in before you wear you're incredibly

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Speaker 1: offensive costume that may be appropriating someone else's culture. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So glad to just get that housekeeping out of the way.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure this I was going to air before

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Speaker 1: after Halloween, but can I ask you have a costume yet?

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Speaker 1: So I do have a costume and I'm pretty excited

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Speaker 1: about it. And you know, I was work because I

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Speaker 1: was like, you know, after the surge rule, i'd be

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Speaker 1: able to costume, right. But I think it's pretty comfy

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Speaker 1: and I do have I've wanted to be this man

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Speaker 1: slash animal for years. Is it a centaur? Yeah? Bugs bunny,

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Speaker 1: what's up? No? Yeah, well you don't have buck teeth,

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Speaker 1: but you kind of do have in some ways. You

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Speaker 1: do kind of have buck teeth. You have these two

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Speaker 1: prominent Yeah, I'm not no, I'm just are friends. I'm

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Speaker 1: not taking a fence at all to this. I do.

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Speaker 1: I have these two bigger, big old kind of front teeth.

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Speaker 1: They're not like or you know, bunny, but yeah, they're

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Speaker 1: bigger and they have like they're bigger than their neighbors randomly,

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Speaker 1: and like it's also because the way your mouth shape

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Speaker 1: frames them a little bit. I'm like now noticing this,

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Speaker 1: Like when I smile, it's very like big gay horse

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Speaker 1: teeth mouth, and like when you smile, it's a little

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Speaker 1: bit more like of a cute little frame around those

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Speaker 1: two bugs bunny teeth exactly. And I used to be

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Speaker 1: self conscious about it, but now I actually think it's

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Speaker 1: kind of cool. It just shows and that is what

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Speaker 1: our author us as all about. Today. It's oral empowerment

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Speaker 1: Week at Celebrity. Okay, so you're gonna be bugs Bunny.

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Speaker 1: We are you going to get a full like a

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Speaker 1: first suit that you're gonna really hot in? Well, no,

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Speaker 1: my gf. This is like the first time I've had

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Speaker 1: the costume plan because my gf for my birthday last

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Speaker 1: year got me a full bugs Bunning costume and you

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Speaker 1: couldn't wear it because of a little thing called the

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Speaker 1: PANDAM mark. Well, my birthdays after Halloween, so it's just

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Speaker 1: been oh, she got it for your birthday, Yeah, for

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Speaker 1: my birthday. So it's just been like in its plastic

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Speaker 1: wrap like rare. And to go getting someone a full

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Speaker 1: first suit costume for their birthday that they're going to

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Speaker 1: wear in ten months is insane. Well, it's very again

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Speaker 1: to a relate to our book, it's very comic con stuff.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like a lot of people do think

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Speaker 1: me and my girlfriend are furries, and we're always like, no,

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Speaker 1: we're not furries. But this does pretty much cement the

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Speaker 1: fact that we are furries that just like in the

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Speaker 1: closet right now, is standing next to each other in

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Speaker 1: a way a sailor moon costume in a bug spunning costume, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's pretty nerd fetish, right, And it only takes like

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Speaker 1: the line between those costumes being next to each other

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Speaker 1: in the closet, to those costumes standing next to each

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Speaker 1: other comic con to those costumes and making their way

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Speaker 1: to the food war. It's a thin lime, a blurry,

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Speaker 1: blurry thin lime. I've tried it on. It's gonna be

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Speaker 1: a pretty comfy costume. The question that I have for

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Speaker 1: you is nice, Yeah, pretty awesome comfortable costume? Is that

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Speaker 1: huge for me? On Halloween? Usually I go to one,

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Speaker 1: maybe two even three events, and over the course of

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Speaker 1: four or five hours, if I'm not comfortable, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be really really grumpy. I mean, it's classic girl in Halloween,

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Speaker 1: like being cold in like spiked heals it just like

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Speaker 1: with like wings tears streaming warm a f is that?

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Speaker 1: So the costume is like a big gray sweatsuit with

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Speaker 1: like the bunny feed and a bushy tail in the ear.

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Speaker 1: But there's nothing I think I need to do, not

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Speaker 1: a big face No, not a big face mask. It's

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Speaker 1: kind of everything else. So that leads me to do

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Speaker 1: do I paint on the buck teeth? Do I? Well,

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Speaker 1: you could do such a like face paint situation, like

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Speaker 1: a child's face paintress comes over and like gives you

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Speaker 1: a full like I guess like it would be like

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Speaker 1: white with face with like whiskers. Yeah, and then you

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Speaker 1: have the ears on. Um, make you have the ears

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Speaker 1: crack over the course of the night in this way

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Speaker 1: that looks weird. We all know what I'm talking about. Um,

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Speaker 1: what are you going to be? Well, as I was

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Speaker 1: mentioning to you, I wanted to be Elliott Page. Well

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Speaker 1: you haven't merned from that to me, I haven't. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I've been missed this to everyone. Did you

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Speaker 1: say you wanted to be Elliott Page with the six pack? Uh? No,

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Speaker 1: I was thinking more like Balenciaga Elliott Page just kind

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Speaker 1: of like a big suit and the like gelled bangs. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I mean I love for you and I Caesar bangs.

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Speaker 1: I mean it's also a costume that's very like you're

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Speaker 1: walking around and someone's like, what are you And you're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm Elliott Page and they're like, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like people of our sort of community

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Speaker 1: will get it. You have to do the Caesar bangs

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Speaker 1: that they are doing. They is just doing. I mean

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Speaker 1: it's like, look, I already have like my bangs were

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Speaker 1: kind of long if I just jell them and our

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Speaker 1: viewers can't see our listeners can't see this, but you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, look at that, well, that

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Speaker 1: looks insanely creepy. I'm pushing my little wig forward. I

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Speaker 1: feel like it could be there anyway. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: know if it's going to be super offensive. Well, now

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Speaker 1: I'm realizing I need to do the Instagram post that

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Speaker 1: Elliott Page should post top surgery that to them, like

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Speaker 1: two weeks after surgery, full six pack, no scars, listening

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Speaker 1: from a pool. I feel like that shot of them

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Speaker 1: was a little like far away, yeah, and like a

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Speaker 1: little bit low reds And I'd maybe like to see

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Speaker 1: the close up studio version of that. Yeah, it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: my body also looks really great from like thirty feet away.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe that costume is a little bit

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Speaker 1: what are you? I see what you mean? I mean again,

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Speaker 1: it's like to go back to your bugs by anything.

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Speaker 1: I always want to be catiness Evergeen from the Hunger games.

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Speaker 1: But it's like I would require like so much planning

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Speaker 1: in advance to get this like bow and arrow and

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Speaker 1: the like black wings that like turn into flames, and

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Speaker 1: like I'm never doing that in time. I mean that's

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Speaker 1: always the Halloween stress is just like your saying thing

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Speaker 1: and you're like, oh am, I really like searching for

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Speaker 1: tarps and bow and arrows like two weeks ahead. And

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Speaker 1: that's why I just needed someone to give me the bugs.

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Speaker 1: And your girlfriend knew that, and that's why she fucking

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Speaker 1: gets you. Yes, you're okay. For your birthday, I will

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Speaker 1: get you the catiness costume. So at age thirty seven,

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Speaker 1: is that correct? Next year? You can be next. When

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Speaker 1: I was thirty seven, I keep thinking that thirty five

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Speaker 1: is the canonically like satta stage of all time. But

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Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe thirty seven's the sadest age of all time.

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Speaker 1: Well maybe we've we've upped it a little bit over

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Speaker 1: the years, because yeah, we're like, no, I actually thirty

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Speaker 1: seven the sadest age. We were like, no, I think

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Speaker 1: thirty nine is safe. Okay, this is gold. We're talking

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Speaker 1: about ages. Okay, look, let's get into the book. We're

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Speaker 1: talking about Halloween because we read the hot It's a

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Speaker 1: lot of people have been talking about it, but I

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Speaker 1: don't know how many of those people have read it. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm guessing a total of zero. Yours Cruelly by Elvira A.

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Speaker 1: Cassandra Peterson. Well, the book is called Yours Cruelly, Elvira.

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Speaker 1: It's like a as in, like, did I say yours truly? Well,

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Speaker 1: you know you said yours cruelly, but you were like,

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Speaker 1: like yours Elvira. It's like a letter memoirs of the

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Speaker 1: Mistress of the Dark is the sub and then it's

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Speaker 1: Cassandra Peterson. I mean, I'm obsessed with her name. I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's the name I choose when I'm like

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Speaker 1: writing any character about the as sensuous middle aged woman

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Speaker 1: who's divorced. I'm just like, my name is Cassandra, and yes, honey,

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Speaker 1: I know how to have an orgasm. Yeah, I need

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Speaker 1: to tell you about this, like sex said teacher I

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Speaker 1: have in college. But well, let's get into the book

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Speaker 1: for a second. No, tell me right now, don't wait, Okay, Anyway,

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Speaker 1: she was just so Cassandra and like led like a

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Speaker 1: human sexuality class or also a sex said teacher you

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Speaker 1: had in college? It wasn't like sex, said, it was

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Speaker 1: being more just like the study of human sensuality and

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Speaker 1: like something something like trying to be such a like

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Speaker 1: theories about sex. What were the theories? Was it all

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Speaker 1: just like desires a reflection? Yeah, she was mostly just

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Speaker 1: like horny and wearing velvet and was so Cassandra Um

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Speaker 1: was like her main vibe. So what's random is like

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Speaker 1: I'm so retro and just like old movies and B

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Speaker 1: movie stuff and leopard print, etcetera, etcetera, dice convertibles. But

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Speaker 1: like I had never seen the Elvira movie. I just

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Speaker 1: watched it two nights ago. Yeah, I will confess that

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Speaker 1: I in prep for this show, I did not watch

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Speaker 1: the Olviron movie because I wanted to have a little

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Speaker 1: bit of tension between us. So you've seen it and

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Speaker 1: you can kind of share with me the fruits of

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Speaker 1: your labor. She's someone who you like, you say al Vira,

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Speaker 1: and like an image comes to mind, Like I think

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Speaker 1: most people do have an associate. It's like, yeah, they

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Speaker 1: know who she is, but then you're just like, well,

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Speaker 1: why like why do I know who she is? And

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Speaker 1: she's just had this sort of B level stardom for

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Speaker 1: like thirty years. But like I actually, even until we

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Speaker 1: read this book, I didn't know what exactly she was

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Speaker 1: famous for. And now you know question question Mark. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: so she hosted this show that is very like Mystery

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Speaker 1: Science Theater three thousand, where she was like introducing movies

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Speaker 1: to like on like a local LA cable station, and

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Speaker 1: then it was like syndicated nationally, I guess, and in

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Speaker 1: the eight yeah, and she would just wear this black

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Speaker 1: wig and be like, I'm spooky by hot, and then

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Speaker 1: she would make like total jokes about the bad movies, right,

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Speaker 1: I mean, the book is very full of these sort

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Speaker 1: of almost divesque jokes, which is like her thing. And

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Speaker 1: so then I watched the Vira movie, which I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: if I saw this, I mean, I did enjoy it.

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Speaker 1: If I saw it when I was seventeen, it would

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Speaker 1: have like become my personality. I mean in the way

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Speaker 1: that like Rocky Horror Picture Show is like a lot

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Speaker 1: of people in high school's personality. Yes, it's very like

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Speaker 1: Rocky Horror where it so it's like about like she

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Speaker 1: plays her character of like someone who has this syndicated

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Speaker 1: She plays Elvira like someone with like a local TV

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Speaker 1: show who like is like spooky, and then they're like,

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Speaker 1: you need a show in Vegas, but you need fifty

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars, which is also kind of like based off

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Speaker 1: her life because she was like a Vegas joker. And

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Speaker 1: so then she has to go to Massachusetts to like

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Speaker 1: inherit her great aunt's like money and then for you

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Speaker 1: like not getting an inheritance in Massachusetts exactly. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: this movie is about me and that she drives there

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Speaker 1: in her convertible and the whole town is being like

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Speaker 1: you're a witch, um and then she has to like

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Speaker 1: fight off an evil uncle and she's being like big

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Speaker 1: tittied in retro and like, I mean yeah. The other

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Speaker 1: thing about her is she has got a rock and

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Speaker 1: a half ironic because you are now down Iraq, right,

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Speaker 1: and she is up a rack. I mean even on

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Speaker 1: the cover of this book, they're being like rack rack

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Speaker 1: rack rack, rack wrack rack wrack rack rack work. I

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Speaker 1: mean like it's the rack is so high. Yeah, kind

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Speaker 1: of crazy, right. The book we read Posted My Top

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Speaker 1: Surgery is about a woman who was one of the

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Speaker 1: rackiest subjects we've ever read. Yeah, big old rack, and

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Speaker 1: that's because the life is all about balance, Yes, the

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Speaker 1: balance of no rack to rack, No rack to rack.

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Speaker 1: I think I will say this book is one of

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Speaker 1: the most boring things that's ever happened to me. You

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Speaker 1: were really bored by this, and okay, I want to

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Speaker 1: hear your well. I mean, maybe if I hadn't read

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Speaker 1: thirty eight other memoirs pro seeing this book, I would

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Speaker 1: be a little less bort But it just felt like

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Speaker 1: a boring version of every story we've ever heard. I'm

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Speaker 1: just like a girl from a small town like dreams

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Speaker 1: of becoming famous and is in some local shows and

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Speaker 1: she loves her dad, and her mom's abusive, but like

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Speaker 1: not that abusive, but like hits her and is kind

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Speaker 1: of insulting. And then she goes to Los Angeles and

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Speaker 1: like meets a guy and she's sexually harassed by a

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Speaker 1: lot of creepy casting couches and works in Vegas and

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Speaker 1: then she auditions and then she's on a show, and

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Speaker 1: then she's on another show, and then that's going well,

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Speaker 1: and then she's on a different show, and then she

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Speaker 1: moves into an apartment and then it's like and now

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Speaker 1: I'm seventy years old, and I look back and I'm

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Speaker 1: so proud and I wouldn't change a thing. And you're like, okay, cool, awesome,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad that happened for you. Thanks for the blow

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Speaker 1: by blow, like like they're really even like the best part.

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Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, okay, Repiner, I mean like okay, and

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Speaker 1: we'll get into it. No, well, I see she may

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Speaker 1: where It's like when I saw these people posting about it,

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Speaker 1: being like, oh my god, Elvira is a lesbian. This

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Speaker 1: is the best day of my gosh darn light No,

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Speaker 1: and I've just like, I'm sorry, where was your Elvira

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Speaker 1: obsession before she became a lesbian, like to promote her book,

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Speaker 1: Like It's kind of like when Little Richard died. All

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Speaker 1: these people started posting that, like Little Richard is their

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Speaker 1: favorite musician and it's like the biggest gender warrior to

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Speaker 1: ever live. And I'm like, I'm sorry, I didn't see

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Speaker 1: you blasting tooty fruity out from her job bone ever

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Speaker 1: heard Richard, Little Richard pastor lips or your job own

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Speaker 1: literally ever a sidebar? This guy this morning. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is not about the buck, but let

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Speaker 1: me let me just say this, say tankerous New Yorker

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Speaker 1: who gets annoyed by people. I can tell you you

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Speaker 1: woke up on the friendly woods side of your bad today.

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Speaker 1: I really did now, And I'll say this, Okay, First

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Speaker 1: of all, I'm sober now. This is ironic because the

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Speaker 1: last episode we recorded, I was hungover and you were

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Speaker 1: sober for surgery. Now you're back on the wagon and

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Speaker 1: downy martinis and I'm unforced medical lead from the alcohol community,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just pissed. And I'm walking in this guy.

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Speaker 1: I'm on my way to therapy, of course, and there's

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Speaker 1: this guy, this tall guy. He's got a knit bag

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Speaker 1: like a nit bucket. He's like, do you mean nit bat?

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Speaker 1: Like a knit like your sister? Little like oh, kind

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Speaker 1: of just like a man, a man with a little

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Speaker 1: faggoty part. I mean he was a faggot obviously. And

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Speaker 1: he's like wearing some fucking outfit. And it's eleven in

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Speaker 1: the morning, and he's blasting some sort of like cheesy

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Speaker 1: like kind of day disco like something you might hear it,

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Speaker 1: like a sober seven am rave like frinchual start being

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Speaker 1: your new thing. We tell like a Brooklyn museum and

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Speaker 1: day d Let me tell you this, I'm someone who

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Speaker 1: is like sober and not pretending that it's fun. I'm

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Speaker 1: hanging out with people out of bar for forty five

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Speaker 1: minutes and then being like I'm ready to leave. I'm

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Speaker 1: not just being like, yes, I'm hanging out all morning.

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Speaker 1: It's awesome anyway. This guy's playing some fucking stupid like

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Speaker 1: day disco from his little satchel, walking like blasting it,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just like, it's too fucking early for this,

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00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,240
Speaker 1: Like get over yourself. You're walking through un square, like

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Speaker 1: letting everyone know that you're this cool guy, just like

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Speaker 1: preventing the soundtrack to Our lives. Fuck yeah, I'm at

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Speaker 1: the green Market. It's like, no, actually, everyone just woke up.

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Speaker 1: We all have somewhere to be. And why don't need

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Speaker 1: your bullshit? You're walking around and your big blazer and

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Speaker 1: your Moscow glasses saying I don't need to hear your

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Speaker 1: sick No, writes the interview column. No, I'm like, I've

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00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,399
Speaker 1: got my fucking Elvira book in one hand. That's boring

300
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Speaker 1: to death. I've got a coffee to wake up from

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Speaker 1: the book. I've got a water, I've got all my

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Speaker 1: anxieties that have got unload on the goddamn therapist. It's

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Speaker 1: just like the last thing I need is mister little

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Speaker 1: day disco walking around with his satchel. It's like, for

305
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:28,120
Speaker 1: whose benefit it's called headphones? No people who play music

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00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:32,960
Speaker 1: on unless you're at the beach. People who play like right, Well,

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00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,840
Speaker 1: it's like I'm talking at a bike messenger, like cool

308
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Speaker 1: on the street. Well, like on the street with your

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Speaker 1: total ghetto blaster, like I'm on a bench like that's whatever.

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Speaker 1: It's cool. It's like eighties. But it's like, I guess

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Speaker 1: it's like cool to have music if you're hanging out

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Speaker 1: with other folk, but it's just like if you're alone,

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Speaker 1: what's with the speaker? Speaking of I went I just

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Speaker 1: went back to wired headphones yesterday. We have to get

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Speaker 1: back to the book. Um, why you I can't find

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Speaker 1: my blue tooth. It finally happened. I knew it, Yeah,

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00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 1: I knew this was coming. It took okay, Sorry, I

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00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,320
Speaker 1: bought those bluetooths. It's been a while. I bought him

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00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:12,919
Speaker 1: an I don't know March brand sides of March my

320
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 1: sound cores and I don't know. I did. I did

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Speaker 1: some photo shoots and there was a lot of bags

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00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 1: and there was a lot of luggage. I thought your

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00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,639
Speaker 1: family a DVD player in high school, and it was

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00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 1: the brand was like Mintech. It's like, what is this

325
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:35,680
Speaker 1: off ass brand? That really cemented our relationship, the power dynamic.

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Speaker 1: When you bought my family a DVD player, it also

327
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 1: defined my family's relationship to money because like, I'm sure

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00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,399
Speaker 1: you bought it with your Visa Bucks card and it

329
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:47,040
Speaker 1: was like forty dollars. Yeah, maybe it was like eighty,

330
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 1: but okay, eighty and I feel like post divorce, so me,

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00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,240
Speaker 1: my mom my sister definitely probably thought that DVD players

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00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,199
Speaker 1: were like three hundred dollars. Well, I think a Sony

333
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,960
Speaker 1: probably was three hundred at that time. But like a

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00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 1: mint Vivo, a minute vo that I bestowed up upon

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00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:13,880
Speaker 1: a needy family in need, Cambridge families in need, I'm

336
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,160
Speaker 1: gonna end you got us. I think of the enough

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00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,160
Speaker 1: DVD because you were like, well, let me catch you

338
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 1: started on your vehicle. I've got a ball rolling here

339
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:25,760
Speaker 1: with this Jennifer Lopez classic thriller about we're sitting with

340
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,800
Speaker 1: the with the DVD player being like, oh gosh, I

341
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 1: don't know if we can't afford a DVD. Those are

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00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:37,680
Speaker 1: seven hundred dollars, which is so alvirus family growing up

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Speaker 1: when her father repaired sewing machines. First singer. This episode

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00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 1: is sponsored by Zoktok. You're trying to find a cause

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00:19:54,680 --> 00:20:00,040
Speaker 1: for your symptoms, akey, back, headache, running, nose itchy. I

346
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,120
Speaker 1: worked on my genitals, So let me guess you stumble

347
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,400
Speaker 1: down a TikTok rabbit hole full of questionable advice from

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00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,920
Speaker 1: so called experts. Suddenly I have cancer. No, thank you.

349
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 1: There are better ways to get the answers you want

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00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,159
Speaker 1: and the care you deserve from trusted professionals and not

351
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 1: random people on the internet. Though randoms, I love you

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00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 1: and my TikTok connection. Yeah it stands, but I'm sorry.

353
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,879
Speaker 1: You shouldn't be getting medical advice from some girn or

354
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:32,040
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355
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,440
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356
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Speaker 1: need and deliver the type of experience you want. That's right,

357
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358
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360
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361
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Speaker 1: No more doctor roulette or scouring the internet for questionable reviews.

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Speaker 1: With zok doc, you have a trusted guide to connect

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Speaker 1: you to your favorite doctor you haven't met yet. I

364
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Speaker 1: love a trusted guide, like the time I climbed to

365
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Speaker 1: Machi Pechu on the Inca Trail with a team of sherpas.

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367
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Speaker 1: dot dot com slash book club and dabbled the zok

371
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00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:39,119
Speaker 1: That's z o c d oc dot com slash book Club,

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00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 1: zok dot dot com slash book Club. Ditch the talk. Okay,

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00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,679
Speaker 1: there was like definitely like stories I was into, but

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00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: reading this book in you know, my recovery, I was like, Okay,

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00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 1: I'm ready to like settle down to like this total

378
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 1: like se Liss crazy Hollywood stories. But I was like

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00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,359
Speaker 1: reading it and the kind of putting it down and

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00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 1: I was like, what is this feeling? That I don't

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00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 1: really want to turn the page right like, and I

382
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 1: was shot because I was like, it has all the ingredients.

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00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 1: It's about like a big tittied retro like actress who's

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00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,600
Speaker 1: like a b movie star. It's about like sleeping with

385
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:33,400
Speaker 1: Tom Jones. I was like, something is not pushing me.

386
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 1: The thing. She is old, but she acts even older,

387
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,920
Speaker 1: like she acts like she's from the fucking dust bowl.

388
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 1: Like everything it's in this book, it's so just like, well,

389
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 1: gee willikers like. So then I moved into an apartment

390
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,639
Speaker 1: complex called Hullabaloo. I don't know if it was named

391
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,399
Speaker 1: after the popular radio program at the time, but you

392
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 1: can't imagine my astonishment at the name, and you're like,

393
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 1: what the fuck are you talking about? Like what are

394
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 1: these references? Like the whole time I was like, who

395
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:07,120
Speaker 1: the fuck is she talking about? Well, but also were

396
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 1: you like because it was just like she was talking

397
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,679
Speaker 1: about just like so many random British bands and just

398
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: being like we are in our day glow bikinis. I mean, yes,

399
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 1: British fans, but yes, but then she'd be talking about

400
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 1: just like a little I don't know, it was like

401
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 1: very just like but Nanza the longest running from the

402
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 1: Network program from nineteen sixty one. I was like, girl,

403
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 1: I don't care, but this is why I was saying,

404
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: Like I feel like I, as a child would just

405
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 1: buy one of those really big books of just like

406
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 1: lists of old TV shows, and I also then would

407
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,400
Speaker 1: pretend this book is kind of in the grand tradition

408
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:43,679
Speaker 1: of me pretending I'm into something, because it's like I

409
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 1: had this book called like the Cult Movie Stars Encyclopedia,

410
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,360
Speaker 1: and I would just like read it and page through it,

411
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 1: like reading about some random actress from nineteen thirty two,

412
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: but just being like in the back of my head

413
00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 1: was like, I'm actually not enjoying this. Yeah, this is nope,

414
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,880
Speaker 1: this is cut to you like just watching like Carlos

415
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,919
Speaker 1: Mencia for two hours, just like not even chuckling, just

416
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 1: like dead eyed being like, yeah, I'm a big Mencia fan.

417
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,160
Speaker 1: It's like, are you a bitch? Can I just read

418
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,679
Speaker 1: a passage where I feel like this is something that

419
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 1: could be interesting that's not Yeah, she's like a go

420
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: go dance at a nightclub in the sixties. It was

421
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 1: nineteen sixty six, so most of them were soon to

422
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 1: be deployed to Vietnam. Confined to the base and under

423
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 1: strict supervision before they were shipped out, probably because the

424
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: Army word. They'd both coming to these clubs one of

425
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: their only forms of entertainment. They dubbed me Big Red,

426
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 1: and boy did they love me. I mean, what's not

427
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 1: to love about a fifteen year old girl with long

428
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 1: red hair and big boobs. Weren't a skimpy outfit right

429
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: where it's like, this should be this kind of like

430
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 1: hilarious tale about like horny army guys, I guess like

431
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 1: being into you, but like it is written energy Willoker, Okay,

432
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 1: fucking j Willoker. It's like it's like they're Parts of

433
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 1: it were Danna sickin sand, parts of it were Snat O'Connor.

434
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: But I was just like those books were so much

435
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: better and it's so much more of a voice to

436
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: that mean, she's just been like whelp. Oh yeah. I

437
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 1: was never interested in any of them as boyfriend material,

438
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,199
Speaker 1: partly because I'd be fired for any hanky panky the

439
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 1: phrase hanky panky bitch, like she sleeps with so many people,

440
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 1: She sleeps with Tom, she loses her virgourney to Tom Jones,

441
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 1: and she also like Fox Robert and Nero, and she

442
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 1: liked almost hooks up with Jimmy Hendrix, but then he's

443
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 1: like too blazed, and like she's always like driving to

444
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 1: a festival, and like then like a bunch of sad

445
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: things happen where she's like about to hook up with

446
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 1: some guy. Okay, that song, um sixties song A year

447
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 1: in the Sun, did um do you know it? I

448
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 1: just have to play it? Okay, Well, anyway it searches

449
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 1: on her phone for some song that she doesn't remember

450
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 1: and none of us know. Um. Also like sometimes there's

451
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 1: a little hint that this was like just very much

452
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 1: like edited in twenty twenty one, but like written earlier,

453
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 1: like later in this part of a Vietnam, there was

454
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 1: always one gi in the with too much testosterone who

455
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 1: was gung ho about fighting the gooks but being anti

456
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: warrant anti racism. I sit as far away from them

457
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 1: as I could get. It's just like saying that she's

458
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:15,159
Speaker 1: like being anti racism. It's just like there's that's not

459
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: everything well, which also feels very random, like English teacher.

460
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 1: It's just like I am into anti racism. I guess

461
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 1: the thing about I wish kind of this book like

462
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 1: so much of it was just about like the journey

463
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 1: of being like a show girl and like being dlist

464
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 1: and like going onto the law and this show getting

465
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 1: picked up. And then it's like it is just random

466
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 1: what she goes into detail, because like she doesn't become

467
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,359
Speaker 1: like Elvira Toil, like basically I feel like one eighty

468
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 1: like the end of the book. But then there's a

469
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:48,439
Speaker 1: whole chapter about how she's pregnant and brad Pitt like

470
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,160
Speaker 1: wants to buy her house, but she's like, I'm too pregnant,

471
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,199
Speaker 1: you can't buy my house. But she's still being just like,

472
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 1: way to make this boring, right, It's like this is

473
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 1: a whole chapter. It's like, I don't know, maybe that

474
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 1: would have and interest in if we had like sped

475
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 1: up the show girls stuff. And the brad Pitt story

476
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,679
Speaker 1: was so random. She's like, so I told him no,

477
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: and then he's like, then he came back with another offer,

478
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 1: and I said no. Then he came back with another offer,

479
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 1: and I said, I'm done months pertinent and this is

480
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,359
Speaker 1: just too stressful. So I did take his offer and

481
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 1: we did get a rental house, and then he wanted

482
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 1: to buy my rental house. And then she's like, and

483
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 1: that's what I put my foot down. And then she's like,

484
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: is dishing because it's like who cares. She's like, yeah,

485
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: I watched him like through all of his relationships like

486
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: Angelina and Gwendath and you're like, okay, whole chapter about

487
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: Brad Pitt buying you. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I also

488
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 1: like followed us weekly during that time. Thanks for the

489
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,199
Speaker 1: hot tip. This Okay, reading this book also to me

490
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: felt and I angrily accused Meg Today producer Meg of

491
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 1: choosing this book. So it's like, who the fuck chose

492
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 1: this boringte book? Did we choose because it's pegged to

493
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: a new story? And then you were like, no, I

494
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 1: chose this because the lesbian gossip And this just reminded

495
00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 1: me of like middle school or like high school. I guess,

496
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: like just desperately like going after anything with just a

497
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 1: whiff of homosexual content of just like seeking it out.

498
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 1: And it's just like, and this book is a whiff.

499
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 1: She literally does not mention her nineteen year lesbian relationship

500
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 1: until like page two sixty seven out of two seventy two,

501
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 1: and it's very like and then I met my personal

502
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 1: trainer and we've been together for nineteen satisfying years. What

503
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:30,159
Speaker 1: a great life I've had by and You're just like, okay, awesome,

504
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 1: And she's like and I realized, as I do sit

505
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,920
Speaker 1: with my androgynous partner of nineteen years, it is amazing. No,

506
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 1: it is like that's the thing, and it's like of

507
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 1: all these people posting about it, and I'm like, okay,

508
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 1: I'm ready for like fifty pages of that. Okay, well,

509
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: let me read the passage of the first time she

510
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 1: laid eyes on her lesbian partner Tea. So basically, she's

511
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: married to this like hot surfer guy. It's hot and heavy.

512
00:28:55,360 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 1: He becomes her manager classic then like he becomes control

513
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 1: rolling and like spend relationship where he spends all of

514
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 1: her money. Yes, but then like is mad at her

515
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 1: for like buying a CD and then he buys a

516
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: surfboard and it's like but she's Elvira and he's like

517
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: pushing her to have her yearly show at Knotsbury Farm,

518
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 1: that amusement park which we will get into. Have you

519
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 1: ever been to knots Farm? No? Is it like is

520
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 1: that a six Flags location now or something? It's like

521
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: in La six Flags Famous been to Disneyland? It's a

522
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: la but never knot spurry. Okay. When we were like

523
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: first starting to become friends, like which was randomly the

524
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 1: end of eighth grade, and we went to Cannaby Lake

525
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: State Park. Um, and I remember you like eating dippin'

526
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 1: dots that like astronaut scream or whatever, and you to

527
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 1: me were being like, you've never had dippin' dots before.

528
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, I love dippin' dots. Me acting like

529
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 1: it's like oysters, just like, oh my god, she doesn't

530
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 1: even know what dippin' dots is. She's no wrong side

531
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 1: of the trucks. Her family doesn't even have a DVD

532
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: player and they don't need dippin' dots. Sad, You're like

533
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 1: orange zip up old navy cargo, still just being like

534
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 1: I love dippin' dots and Lucy loo is my crush.

535
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 1: We're gonna suck one day. Yeah. I was twisted, but

536
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 1: I had a taste for the exotic, the international. I

537
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 1: traveled the world, I go to space, I have dippin' dots. Okay,

538
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 1: speaking of sexuality, so this is the first time Elvira

539
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 1: or sorry Cassandrasandra Sun like son not sand Cassandra, which

540
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 1: is also so nineties. Okay, Often, when I was doing

541
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,719
Speaker 1: my pre workout warm up on the treadmill, I couldn't

542
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 1: help noticing one particular trainer, tan tattooed and muscular, stalking

543
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 1: across the gym floor. Nit Cap pulled so low over

544
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 1: his long brown hair that nearly covered his eyes. Dark

545
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 1: and brooding, brooding. How do you pronounced that? He gave

546
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 1: off such intense energy that when he crossed the enormous

547
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 1: gym floor, the waters parted and people stopped in their

548
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: tracks to stare. A typical sexy bad boy, he was unaware.

549
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 1: He was so charismatic that he garnered his own unofficial

550
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 1: fan club. Watching him from the safety of my treadmill

551
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: made my heart beat faster and the time passed much

552
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 1: more quickly. I mean, come on, I was married, not dead.

553
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: One day, as I was walking into ladies room at

554
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 1: the gym Boom, I ran straight into him on his

555
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 1: way out. Wait a minute, what he was? A sheet

556
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: that really threw me. Not long afterward, Rich announced he

557
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: was leaving Golds, but not to worry. He had someone

558
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 1: taking over his clients, who, in his opinion, was the

559
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: star trainer of the gym. It turned doubt to be

560
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: my former bad boy crush from the infamous Ladies Room incident.

561
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 1: Teresa Weirson or Tea, a former bodybuilder, track runnerant cyclist.

562
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 1: She was an incredibly sweet person despite her tough exterior.

563
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 1: So it's also where in order this happens after she

564
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 1: talks about the relationship, you know, like there's not really

565
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 1: a build up, So it's like she talks about how

566
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 1: like Mark leaves her and then Tea moves in with

567
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 1: her as a friend after Tea gets out of a

568
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 1: long relationship, right, and it's like very um, I mean

569
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 1: that is that is very lesbian the way that that happened,

570
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 1: showing up with all her bags on a virus door

571
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: and alvirus just like, listen, Tea, I'm going through a

572
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 1: lot right now. You can stay with me and we

573
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 1: can be roommates and that's totally okay, well like completely

574
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 1: just like and sending with each other and each other's lives,

575
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,600
Speaker 1: but I'm totally not a lesbian. And then it's just

576
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 1: like and then after like several months of her being

577
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: really handy around the house, okay, when sound like she

578
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 1: was doing so many chores, Okaya, she goes. Tea's basically

579
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 1: like a big kid. It's just like, yeah, I bet yeah.

580
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 1: It was the most like lesbian description of someone. She's

581
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: just a big kid. It's like, oh yeah, I'm sure

582
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: she's so lunchbox. Yeah. It is so Finley from Ju

583
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 1: just sounds like she was describing Finley. She sounds like

584
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 1: she Finley in twenty years. But it's like it's like

585
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 1: she didn't really say wait did she say? Like their

586
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: first kiss? Alvirah comes home and she's just like and

587
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: then a randomly I kissed her and then we started dating. Well,

588
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: it's also very like of Tea. It's so Tea. It

589
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 1: is so it is so it is just so like

590
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 1: lesbian to like have this huge question your straight friend

591
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 1: and like do so many chores around her house and

592
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 1: just like hope that she one day kisses you and

593
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 1: then she does, right, And I think that probably happens,

594
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 1: you know, seventy five percent of the time, and that

595
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: other twenty five percent, the lesbian is just like doing

596
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 1: tons of chores and the straight friend is like thanks,

597
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 1: you think seventy five percent of the times straight frtend

598
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:23,720
Speaker 1: becomes a full blown relationship. I guess I was thinking

599
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 1: in this statistic where the lesbian maybe let's just actually mathematically,

600
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 1: let's think about all the straight girls that you've had crushes,

601
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 1: and you would say seventy five percent of them have

602
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 1: become your girlfriend. I mean zero, because that would mean

603
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,359
Speaker 1: that you've had more than two girlfriends, which I don't

604
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:44,760
Speaker 1: think you've had. Just thinking in terms of numbers, that's interesting.

605
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 1: Shots fired on our first noon recording was my new identity.

606
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: No I am a virgin, and I guess I was

607
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 1: talking sense of like lesbian living together a situation. I

608
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 1: honestly don't know where the fuck the statistic is coming from,

609
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 1: but I do feel like everyone now is a lesbian,

610
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 1: including Elvira. You know what, every Sorry, in my day,

611
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 1: no one was a lesbian, and now everyone is a lesbian.

612
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: I could not agree more. A lot's changed. And in

613
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 1: nineteen sixty two, when I was in Flares and day Glow,

614
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:34,439
Speaker 1: sleeping with the gis yum yum yum. When I first

615
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 1: got to Vegas Doling, women couldn't even hold hands. I

616
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 1: do want to talk about I don't know if you

617
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 1: read this part about per Sinatra running and then Saturday,

618
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,800
Speaker 1: you're kind of you're mild suggestion that me may haven't

619
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 1: read all of this, and like, so not to Priye,

620
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 1: but didn't you read the book? I have no Listen,

621
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 1: I've read, absolutely read parts of that. No, I know

622
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,800
Speaker 1: you have. You know all about here. We are discussing

623
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:09,359
Speaker 1: it again for three hours. Okay, wait, no, no, fill

624
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 1: me on this Sinatra part because that is eluding me

625
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 1: right now because there's just so many choice anecdotes in

626
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:18,800
Speaker 1: here it can't be hard to keep track totally totally. Okay,

627
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 1: So you know I'm a big Sinatra fan and and

628
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,320
Speaker 1: look I don't I'm not going around saying he was

629
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:29,240
Speaker 1: an angel. Okay, I know he was a total chauvinistum.

630
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 1: But you know, she's in Vegas, she's starting to become

631
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 1: a show girl, and she's like with all of the Osmond's,

632
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:35,840
Speaker 1: and she's like on a date with one of the Osmond's,

633
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 1: and she was like, I was not attracted to him

634
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: at all. And that is what I do appreciated this book,

635
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:42,839
Speaker 1: is like she is so seedless, so she can just

636
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 1: be like I thought Donnie Osmond was like he was

637
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 1: never gonna get something that is true. No, because it's like,

638
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: if you're Demi more, you can't really like call someone

639
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 1: ugly because it's like punching down. She's like, see that,

640
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 1: so she can be like he wasn't hot or like people. Yeah,

641
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 1: like Tom Jones did have a big duck. Sure would

642
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 1: she say had a crazy thing dick? Oh, Jimmy Page

643
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: from led Zeppelin. She was like, sorry, Jimmy or a

644
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 1: great guitarist, but like she said, he had pencil dick.

645
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:10,839
Speaker 1: Oh well wait, why did I miss that? Okay, wait,

646
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 1: let me look him up and see if that's true.

647
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 1: Because when she said that Tom Joe's did a big dick,

648
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, big dick face. It really

649
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: confirmed my theory because his face is kind of inflated

650
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 1: in this way. It's kind of bulbous. Oh yeah, he

651
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,840
Speaker 1: does have a like bulbous like lips and nose. What

652
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:32,799
Speaker 1: hold on, I have the Jimmy Page page pencil. You

653
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 1: see pencil? Okay, she goes, it was my first dick. Oh,

654
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 1: it's the first dick she touches. It was my first

655
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 1: experience touching a penis, and all I remember thinking is

656
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,360
Speaker 1: that it felt like a long, skinny worm. Parentze's sorry

657
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 1: Jimmy to think I was actually there lying on the

658
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: bed making out with v Jimmy Page from the Yardbirds

659
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: was thrilling for about two minutes, but then reality struck.

660
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 1: I was still a virgin and my aunt was waiting

661
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:57,760
Speaker 1: the lobby right downstairs. What a buzz kill? I suddenly panicked.

662
00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 1: I snatched my hand off his wang and flew off

663
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: the bed, grabbing Aunt Lucy's sweater from the floor in

664
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 1: the process. I ran to the door and through it open.

665
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,239
Speaker 1: I'm a fucking virgin, I screamed at Jimmy, which she

666
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 1: didn't make a lot of sense that I thought it

667
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: sounded good at the time. She claims me a virgin

668
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: like five times in this book. Yet it's like, well,

669
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:20,359
Speaker 1: what are you um? I love that though, just screaming

670
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: I'm a fucking virgin. When she has sex with Tom

671
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: Jones's tick is like so big that it like breaks

672
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 1: her him in again or something, and she's like bleeding

673
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 1: and she's like in soo much pain, and he like

674
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 1: sends a car for her and like and then she's

675
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 1: like pets and like she so sad because she's like, wait,

676
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,760
Speaker 1: I'm not going to marry Tom Jones. And she tells

677
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 1: him that she's also a virgin and She's like, well,

678
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: that makes sense because I think she was just going

679
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 1: to give Jimmy Page a hand job. So you're saying

680
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: that she is a virgin in both times. Yes, I

681
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,720
Speaker 1: feel like she had a lot of like almost sex,

682
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:55,399
Speaker 1: like the tip right stuff. But yeah, I do feel

683
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 1: like it's kind of I also forget that Tom Jones

684
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 1: is British. I forgot that too until you just said that,

685
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 1: because he doesn't really sing with a British accent. No.

686
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 1: And when when I say I forgot that, I mean

687
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. What do I mean by that phrase? Wait?

688
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: So what So she sees Sinatra? I guess she sees

689
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 1: Anatra and he comes over to the table. They're like,

690
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 1: come over like to Sinatra, and everyone's like introducing themselves,

691
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,839
Speaker 1: and she reaches her hand out to shake his hand

692
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,920
Speaker 1: and he doesn't shake it. He just like gives her

693
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:33,760
Speaker 1: the up and down and says like nice pair of tips,

694
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: and like then walks away and won't even shake her hand. Wow,

695
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 1: he really hamanized women. Because you don't think of Sinatra

696
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 1: as like that. I knew, well, I knew he was

697
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: a total playboy. I guess I thought of him as

698
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,720
Speaker 1: a little more of a charming chauvinist, right, same, although

699
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 1: I mean I guess it's like, I mean he can't

700
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 1: get you know, he can't term everyone, right, I mean right,

701
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 1: how many show girls is he meeting a day? Move

702
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 1: on at some point and then she's like, I got

703
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 1: my revenge, like years later working out like Amelia's doing

704
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 1: door check, I spit in his vdor okay, go off. Yeah,

705
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: that's very like the waiter equivalent of spinning in a

706
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 1: soup for the chef equivalent. Did you as coach check

707
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 1: at City Winery? Ever? I know, I just had that feeling.

708
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I never just like abused my

709
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 1: coach check power. I wish I'd done that thing that

710
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 1: she does in the movie The Pianist Isabel Hupa when

711
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 1: she puts broken glass in the pockets of a coat,

712
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 1: like sabotage this girl's hands, who she's like jealous of.

713
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,839
Speaker 1: I need to watch that movie. It's so psycho and

714
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 1: this girl puts her hands in the pockets of a

715
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 1: coat and then like her fans get so cut up

716
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: and then she can't like play at the recital anymore. Uh. Yeah,

717
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 1: I never did that. I just like my only thing

718
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 1: I did at Coacheck. My only like subterfuge was that

719
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:56,839
Speaker 1: I would put my own cash into the tip jar

720
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: to make it look like everyone was tipping, so that

721
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 1: people felt pressure to tip because they felt like everyone

722
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 1: else was tipping. And then did you take the cash out? Well, yeah,

723
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:08,359
Speaker 1: I mean it was my cash. I kept all oh,

724
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 1: but it wasn't like a tip pooling situation. There was

725
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 1: no tip pooling that city, because I was like that

726
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: would also just be such a weird, like back like

727
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 1: thing where then they like they're like, why are you

728
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: stealing from like the pool tip jar, and You're like, no,

729
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,280
Speaker 1: I was just doing it as like a bus skirt trick.

730
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 1: It wasn't such a like classic restaurant thing where you're

731
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 1: tipping pool and then there's tip out and then like

732
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 1: you're in a class actually lawsuit later because they're like

733
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 1: garnishing your wagers or whatever. It was very just like

734
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:38,359
Speaker 1: I'm keeping my seventeen dollars and I'm getting and I'm

735
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 1: spending that on my fifty percent off dinner at City Winery,

736
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 1: which was like wedding chicken anyway. Uh yeah, Frank Sinatra's

737
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,840
Speaker 1: not charming, I guess. And you know my grandmother always

738
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 1: said to me. You know, she said, I love his voice,

739
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,400
Speaker 1: but he's not a good man. And I mean, honestly,

740
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 1: it's nach is better than just like all the like

741
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 1: sixties rock stars that like raped her in this book

742
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 1: or like almost dead. So okay, one thing, I just

743
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 1: wanted to say that for a forget, I do feel

744
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 1: like so, you know how like a trumpet would notice

745
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 1: in memoirs, it's like every person being like I was

746
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,840
Speaker 1: so skinny but tall, but like tiny but thin but

747
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: had a huge breast, but was so hot, but like

748
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 1: I was so awkward and I'm so gangly because like

749
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 1: I was the thinnest model like in the whole town.

750
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 1: M I feel like she has a version of that

751
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 1: when she's in the beginning just being like before me,

752
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:36,919
Speaker 1: no one was funny and hot, like you could either

753
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 1: be hot or you could be funny, but the funny

754
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 1: people were all Joan Rivers or she like calls Joone

755
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 1: Rimbers ugly. She was like it looks like Harold Channing

756
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:49,360
Speaker 1: or Joan Rivers before the searcher, like you couldn't actually

757
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 1: be dropped at gorgeous like me with a stunning rack

758
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:57,320
Speaker 1: and be hilarious and I like changed the game and

759
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: I invented Jenny McCartney by being hot and funny. I'm like,

760
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:22,359
Speaker 1: wasn't it say it's like stimber spoo zack? What does

761
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 1: she how does she okay? Horse girl stuff? Hey? What

762
00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 1: does she wear? Um? I mean simply she's wearing the

763
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 1: rap a lot in this ald vibrac costume. It's just

764
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 1: like tight off the rock, long sleeve dress with like

765
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 1: deep v cut tits out, like white body makeup, white

766
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:55,239
Speaker 1: face makeup, and then this like teased dry wig. But

767
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 1: she does have a lot of good fun descriptions in

768
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: the beginning of like and she's being like a random

769
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 1: fifteen year old go go dancer and she's like, we

770
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: did Daglo paint on my boobs. Then I was in

771
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 1: like orange bell bottoms. Then I was in like a

772
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 1: brawl with tassels. She was doing like titty tassel movement.

773
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:19,759
Speaker 1: Um a lot of like Daglo titty tassels when you

774
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 1: had not to pry, but when you did, did you

775
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 1: ever put a tassel on and try to maneuver a

776
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 1: tassel in that circular motion kind of way? God? I

777
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,600
Speaker 1: mean talk about wish I could. Yeah, sorry, I should have.

778
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 1: I should have brought this up a couple of weeks ago.

779
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:39,720
Speaker 1: You should have. I feel like that was a boob

780
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 1: thing I never did. I don't know, the chance never

781
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,440
Speaker 1: came up. And I guess I never like volunteered to

782
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 1: go to the Tassels store and you were never had

783
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 1: to like be in disguise as like a belly, like

784
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 1: a bond girl, where I'm like, have like lasers in

785
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 1: my nipples and it's being so casino royale and I'm

786
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 1: like shooting I ulso be like my boobs were. I

787
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,359
Speaker 1: guess I've said so low so that the Tassels would

788
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:08,279
Speaker 1: have been a little more. It would have been more

789
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: like dangle unless like helicopter. Yeah, so what do we

790
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 1: think her like casual like around the house with her

791
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:19,839
Speaker 1: lesbian butch Trainer style is right? I mean we know

792
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 1: that Trainer's style is completely insane. In the Beanie, the

793
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 1: photos she includes in the glossy photo section is just

794
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 1: so insane, Like you don't even see her face, her beanies,

795
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: your beanies pulled out to her chin. I'm like, so

796
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 1: it's actually just a ski mask at this point. Yeah,

797
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 1: full beanie. I feel like her style. I feel like

798
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:46,319
Speaker 1: she's like going to Gelson's or like is going toose

799
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,800
Speaker 1: La Smeran and just like is showing off. She's I

800
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 1: feel like she isless pants. Yes, I had a babysitter

801
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 1: who had jeans with a fly down the crack of

802
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 1: the ass. And I feel like she has a style

803
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:06,879
Speaker 1: for sure, like a half sexy, sexy, sexy babysitter, which

804
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 1: is kind of going back like low Rise is like

805
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,720
Speaker 1: now in like such style. I feel like she never

806
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 1: went to mid Rise as a place. No, I think

807
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 1: she was like sixties seventies low Rise and just kind

808
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,360
Speaker 1: of stay there. But I think she probably looks so

809
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 1: because she always talks about how like she wants to

810
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 1: look different on the street. Right, So do you think

811
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 1: that she's so like I guess I just picture her

812
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:28,239
Speaker 1: because she's so comic con it's kind of renfair and

813
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 1: doing like so many um like corseted like like you know,

814
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 1: sleeveless like vests that have the like you know, kind

815
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 1: of peasant. Why can't I think of the word like lace,

816
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 1: like a lace up lace up the front, like a

817
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 1: lace up kind of rope corset. Yes, I feel like

818
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 1: she has some of those. And then as also maybe

819
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 1: just like in a suede vest, but nothing else like

820
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 1: because she at some point mentions she's like, oh so

821
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 1: I was hosting like a peta gala and my two

822
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 1: fair performers, Melissa Ethart and Katie Lang. And it's like

823
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:04,799
Speaker 1: this is when she doesn't know she's a lesbian. Yeah,

824
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 1: she's just mean, like I mean she's by but yeah,

825
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:11,920
Speaker 1: I'm getting the vibe that she's eraise her decades of

826
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 1: being and here I am. And she says in the

827
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 1: book she's like, I'm attracted to men. I like sex,

828
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:25,880
Speaker 1: but I also support the me too movement. She hat

829
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 1: as that's another question. That's the bottom, Like is it

830
00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:34,360
Speaker 1: so weird melissas aards she's like in flares of vest,

831
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 1: nothing else like boobs to like the chin and then

832
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,760
Speaker 1: isn't a huge wide brim hat That's what I'm picturing,

833
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 1: Like it's just seeming so like kind of Southwestern cow girls,

834
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 1: even though she's from Colorado Springs. Yeah, I think it is.

835
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:53,600
Speaker 1: There's a desert vibe to it and just like sexy

836
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: tops and flares, low rides, low cut peasant flares and

837
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 1: her big red mane bounce because her actual hair is

838
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:08,839
Speaker 1: red yes, rare, very rare. What Okay, what does she eat?

839
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,360
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read this passage here. So she is a

840
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 1: venger Terian. Yes, she brings up pa a lot. And

841
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 1: it's like, who asked? I was so excited to be

842
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 1: hosting the special sit down dinner that I spent in

843
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 1: days preparing for it. I cooked a huge pumpkin stuffed

844
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 1: with wild rice, nuts, raisins, and various veggies any yummy

845
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:33,040
Speaker 1: fresh corn and green chilly castrole, among other things. What

846
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 1: the fuck? And then like River Phoenix like passes out

847
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 1: or something in her big pumpkin and she has to

848
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 1: like take out all of his greasy hair out of

849
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 1: the pumpkin. And it's like she sounds very Moosewood Cookbook

850
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:48,800
Speaker 1: like hippie mom, fucked up stir fry. She's making this

851
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:54,279
Speaker 1: made a big pumpkin. It's just like so weird, like

852
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: what in your what in your aja stove and your cauldron?

853
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 1: Again like where I'm just like what are you from

854
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 1: this sixteen eighties? Like you just made a pumpkin? So yeah,

855
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:05,759
Speaker 1: she's making fucked up. I mean I guess she's not

856
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 1: again because she's so like not a modern figure like

857
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 1: she does not exist in the contemporary times. She's not

858
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 1: being so satan. She's not being tofu and like all

859
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 1: the like impossible burgers. No, I don't. I don't think

860
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 1: she's being impossible burger. But I bet she's tofu. I

861
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 1: mean that's okay. Tofu is a little bit. Yeah, she's

862
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:26,880
Speaker 1: making like a big tofu ster fry for her and

863
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 1: Tea and it is having like a big glass of chardonnay.

864
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:37,359
Speaker 1: Let's ask the real question, is Tea sober? Tea is sober?

865
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:42,720
Speaker 1: We've never met anyone more sober than Tea. Great. Her

866
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 1: and Tea are sitting down to like some vegetarian place

867
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 1: in the valley, and she's just kind of ordered, I'll

868
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 1: have your white wine. Yeah, and Tea is like all

869
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,760
Speaker 1: of our cranberry juice. Yeah, and there, and like Tea

870
00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 1: loves the fact that Elvira gets down with some subter

871
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:09,359
Speaker 1: home at this just like vaguely Panasian like strip mall restaurant. Yeah,

872
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 1: I'm really now I am having a vision of Cassandra, Yeah,

873
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:18,719
Speaker 1: a Trader Joe's wine store, just kind of looking at

874
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:21,359
Speaker 1: the four ninety nine. That's good, sure works for me.

875
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 1: I mean the way that she probably pulls in just

876
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 1: like seventy five K a year. Yeah, I'm sure, and

877
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 1: you know, now she it's like with all of the merch,

878
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 1: it's confusing with her divorce agreement. What's going on with

879
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,480
Speaker 1: the con and the merch and the Knotsbury. Yeah, I've

880
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 1: been I've been trying to put the numbers together, and

881
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 1: it's just it's it's I'm getting a little bogged down

882
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 1: as well. I mean sounded with the divorce very like dark.

883
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, but she is doing some you know,

884
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,239
Speaker 1: I'm sure she's doing some like sixty forty split with

885
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 1: the like merchandising people at the Comic Con and then

886
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:02,879
Speaker 1: she's paid for her like hotel room at the San

887
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:06,759
Speaker 1: Diego Double Tree, and you know, it's like at the

888
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 1: end of the day, just like I don't think her

889
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 1: take comes that big, and they're extremely modest, like Van

890
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:17,919
Speaker 1: Nuys two bedroom. How does she live? Yeah, I mean,

891
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:22,439
Speaker 1: I'm feeling it's Mediterranean. I was just like she said,

892
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 1: I just I was thinking I was imagining it wrought

893
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:29,400
Speaker 1: iron coffee table, but with a ceramic like surface. So

894
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 1: it's like almost like the ceramic tile like tiles, little tiles,

895
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 1: little tiles, and then the like pretty little tiles everywhere,

896
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 1: and then the wrought iron kind of curved legs and

897
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,680
Speaker 1: this like Mediterranean like I bet there's like colored glass,

898
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 1: you know, in different areas of her home. I know

899
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:50,319
Speaker 1: it like is she practicing pottery? Maybe outside I don't know.

900
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 1: It's like a small garden and like Tea definitely has

901
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 1: some tomato plants and stuff. This tattoo in the garden. Yeah. Yeah,

902
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 1: I think she's Buddha. I think she's Buddha outdoor, not

903
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 1: heavily outdoor, heavily Buddha, like not an indoor Buddha, but

904
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:06,840
Speaker 1: just like a Buddha statue outside like in the garden.

905
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,520
Speaker 1: She is more like right memorabilia. I feel like she

906
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,799
Speaker 1: is more just like oh man, my who lyric like my,

907
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 1: you know the lyrics that I have. Frame that brings

908
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:17,759
Speaker 1: up the question like is it actually so horror? And

909
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:20,480
Speaker 1: you walk in and there's just like so many dolls

910
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 1: and so your house and it's just like it's like

911
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 1: so like b Indie horror girl and there's just like

912
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 1: and these are like the framed underpants that just like

913
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 1: like Koola Woo wore in this like c list being

914
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 1: mistress of the dark and well, I guess it used

915
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 1: to it and then that's her whole thing. She sold

916
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 1: all that stuff like after her divorce to make money,

917
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:50,279
Speaker 1: so she probably just has like hung up on this divorce. Sorry,

918
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 1: you want me to move on? No, that's so easy

919
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 1: for you someone a product of a happily married couple.

920
00:52:57,280 --> 00:53:03,240
Speaker 1: So happily married. Oh wait, who are you in the book?

921
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 1: Or I feel I mean, yeah, I am. I mean,

922
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,720
Speaker 1: I guess I just kind of feel like either we

923
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:17,279
Speaker 1: were both doing her like pe Town Cabaret with her

924
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 1: and like the Summer of eighty four, or we were

925
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 1: just like in the groundlings with her. Yeah am i

926
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:29,759
Speaker 1: Phil Heartman in your PBR man? Basically? Yeah, I mean

927
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,240
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm definitely more likely to be arrested

928
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 1: for jacking off in a movie theater than you are.

929
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:37,320
Speaker 1: Right now, I'm Phil Hartman. I'm getting I'm hilarious, and

930
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:39,840
Speaker 1: then I'm getting murdered by my wife and you're just like,

931
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 1: oh wait, did his wife wanted him not? Yeah? Then

932
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 1: she killed herself. God, that's so creepy that he said

933
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 1: I could die tomorrow and then he did. Um. Note

934
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:53,240
Speaker 1: to self, don't ever say shit like I'm I'm feeling

935
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:57,840
Speaker 1: so contented in my life I could die tomorrow. Absolutely

936
00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:02,759
Speaker 1: not knock on ward. Du Yeah, no, I think you

937
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 1: are Phil Hartmann and your wife will murder you and

938
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:11,439
Speaker 1: it's a tragedy. It'll be so sad. And I'm I'm

939
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:14,279
Speaker 1: Paul Rubbins, but you know, and you're it's like you

940
00:54:14,320 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: are getting caught in a movie that are drinking off.

941
00:54:16,040 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 1: But it's like you're also calling Elvira up and helping

942
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:21,279
Speaker 1: her with the book and just still put an out

943
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:23,680
Speaker 1: amazing con Oh yeah, And I'm like I've been totally

944
00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:26,239
Speaker 1: there for her, and she's been there for me when

945
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:29,400
Speaker 1: I get canceled, like Elvira will be there and vice versa.

946
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,399
Speaker 1: She just feel like this me too stuff has gone

947
00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 1: too far? Peebe me too far? Okay, I honestly give

948
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:41,040
Speaker 1: this book one out of five pumpkins. I just I

949
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:44,319
Speaker 1: actually kind of this is my newliest favorite book. As

950
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 1: I said, this book is the most born what's ever

951
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 1: happened to me. I'm just like, there are just there's

952
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:51,240
Speaker 1: not one element of this book that it does better

953
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:54,160
Speaker 1: than another book. Like there's just no standout part of

954
00:54:54,160 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 1: this Yeah, I'm giving it two point eight Pumpkins lesbian

955
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:04,120
Speaker 1: section shorter than the lesbians parts of talking about like

956
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:08,600
Speaker 1: all just like the random sixties gossip. Sorry, I guess yeah,

957
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:11,839
Speaker 1: like Tom Jones has a big deck. Yeah, just like

958
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 1: you know, the willingness to share and then kind of

959
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,320
Speaker 1: lesbian stuff. I'm not really recommending this book to anyone,

960
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:19,800
Speaker 1: I guess, but I feel like if you are a

961
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:23,960
Speaker 1: huge Elvira fan, like by narc title Willingness to Share

962
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:29,439
Speaker 1: by Lillian, but it is so true what she said.

963
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, I don't know. If we have like

964
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:34,959
Speaker 1: not read any memoirs before and I read this, I'd

965
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:37,880
Speaker 1: be like, this is so like selacious, but kind of

966
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 1: when you've read Jannas and you've read Jennifer Lewis, and

967
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:43,240
Speaker 1: you've heard other actresses of like seventy year old age

968
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,799
Speaker 1: like talk about fucking guy in the seventies, it's kind

969
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:49,080
Speaker 1: of like, well, you need some like humor. I mean,

970
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 1: she's like being like definitely like a little bit funny,

971
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 1: but just like not it's mostly still just kind of

972
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 1: like listing story after story after story. Feel like this

973
00:55:57,640 --> 00:55:59,839
Speaker 1: would be better and kind of an e true haul

974
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 1: would like I want to hear her talk more. You

975
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 1: know it's like her in the outfit, maybe talk telling

976
00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:08,719
Speaker 1: some of these stories rather than in the written in

977
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:13,319
Speaker 1: the book form. Yeah, wells on the couch. Yeah. She's

978
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:17,839
Speaker 1: famous for being on television not being on book, right,

979
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,839
Speaker 1: which is why some beyond book and some beyond don't

980
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:26,799
Speaker 1: think for danger. All right, Um, next week we will

981
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:35,320
Speaker 1: be reading none other than Patriot Christian Center, LGBT Activists,

982
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:42,240
Speaker 1: Best Friend, all Around hair Icon Megan McCain, and Book

983
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:46,480
Speaker 1: Bad Republican. Bad Republican can't wait to dive into that

984
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:52,880
Speaker 1: our nation's first daughter and our nation's last daughter, The

985
00:56:53,000 --> 00:57:00,160
Speaker 1: last Daughter, the last, the last ever was so will

986
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:02,320
Speaker 1: be just like in its seventh season. You're like, who's

987
00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 1: still long in the last and it's literally you You're

988
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:08,920
Speaker 1: still watching? I know, I really want to watch The

989
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,879
Speaker 1: Last Daughter now, okay, okay, let's get along, rate along,

990
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 1: rate fast. Celebrity is presented by Long Projects, The shows

991
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:40,840
Speaker 1: by Wicked, which of the new Megaminine without a toorial

992
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 1: support Andrew Pond and then our production manager. He is

993
00:57:54,280 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 1: a sorcerers by the name of Original des Are by

994
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 1: wild Cat Steve and fur loves Horsed by the Great

995
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:22,480
Speaker 1: Master Chatty Blacks. Ships follow us on Twitter, that CBC

996
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 1: the Pod, subscribe on your beat, leave us a room

997
00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 1: you and don't forget to tell your friends about our story.

998
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 1: Just you, Joe Hell