1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: Greeting's Hollywood Land listeners, thank you for joining us. I'm 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 1: Jake Brennan here at Double Elvis, and I'm back again 3 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 1: for another week and excited to crack into the archive 4 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:17,480 Speaker 1: and bring you this episode on the Great Robin Williams. 5 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: It's hard to overestimate the power of Robin Williams. For me, 6 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:24,439 Speaker 1: when I think of Robin Williams, I think of two things. 7 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: I think of his manic guestince on David Letterman, Robin 8 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: bouncing all over the studio, taking everyone in the Ed 9 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 1: Sullivan Theater and everyone at home watching on television on 10 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: a wild ride with him. It was the random Tom 11 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 1: Wade's impression that Robin bounced into during that appearance that 12 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: I still think of now. And I also think of 13 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: Letterman's jaw on the floor. I think of that when 14 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: thinking of Robin, and I also think about the first 15 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,879 Speaker 1: podcast episode that I ever listened to, which was the 16 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: heartfelt interview Robin did with Mark Marin back in the day. 17 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: Robin's heart was firmly on his sleeve in that interview, 18 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 1: and it was front and center in most every role 19 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: he brought to the screen. Robin Williams was truly one 20 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: of a kind. Hopefully this episode brings us a little 21 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,000 Speaker 1: closer to an artist who we all miss so much. 22 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 1: Here's Robin Williams in hollywood Land. 23 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 2: This episode contains content that may be disturbing to some listeners. 24 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 2: Please check the show notes for more information. 25 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,959 Speaker 1: Hollywood Land is a production of Double elvis. 26 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 3: O. 27 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 1: The stories about Robin Williams are insane. His manic mind moved. 28 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: It's such a breakneck speed that cocaine had the opposite 29 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: effect that it had on most other people. It slowed 30 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: him down. Speaking of cocaine, he did a line with 31 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: John Belushi at the fame Chateau mar on the very 32 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 1: night Juliet Jake Blues died from shooting up a speedball. 33 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 1: Robin's primary addiction, however, wasn't cocaine. He was addicted to 34 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:14,360 Speaker 1: the company of women. He was addicted to the dopamine 35 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: rush of being on a stage where he could let 36 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: his mind run wild with free association and be rewarded 37 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: with a broarious laughter. He was addicted to proving himself 38 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: as a dramatic actor, even if that meant attempting to 39 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: trigger his own mental breakdown by running in place for hours, 40 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: and when he did die tragically at the age of 41 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 1: sixty three. The cause of his death was surprisingly not 42 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 1: what anyone suspected. It still isn't. And Robin Williams made 43 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: great films, unlike that clip. I played a few at 44 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 1: the top of the show that wasn't a clip from 45 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,079 Speaker 1: a great film that was a fair use sample from 46 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: the Library of Congress of Arthur Collins performing Susie Woozy 47 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 1: in nineteen two. I played you that clip because I 48 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: can't afford the rights to a clip from Jonathan Leevinman's 49 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: teenage mutant Ninja Turtles. And why would I play you 50 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 1: that specific slice of Cowabungco reboot Cheese? 51 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,919 Speaker 2: Could I afford it? Because that was the. 52 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: Number one movie in America on August eleventh, twenty fourteen, 53 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: And that was the day that Robin Williams's body was 54 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,920 Speaker 1: found at his home in California, a shocking death that 55 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: revealed hidden secrets about his life. In this episode, a 56 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: manic mind, cocaine, dopamine, Russians, mental breakdowns, and Robin Williams, 57 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: I'm Jake Brennan. 58 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 2: And this is Hollywood Land. 59 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: Pam Dauber didn't have to turn around to know who 60 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 1: was thrusting something long and hard. 61 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 2: Against her ass. 62 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: She knew her co star would be right behind her, 63 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: dressed in his bright red leotar to Caine in his hand. 64 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 1: He always knew when she was a little off and 65 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: needed a perkmiup. 66 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 2: It worked. 67 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,919 Speaker 1: Pam couldn't help but laugh. This was a typical moment 68 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:34,599 Speaker 1: on the set of Morcan Mindy. Robin Williams had shown 69 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: up late in bleary eyed as usual. Then they immediately 70 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,120 Speaker 1: get to work without missing a beat, only ever interrupting 71 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 1: the rehearsal to pull some endearingly inappropriate prank, like pretending 72 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,600 Speaker 1: to shove a cane up her ass. Pam had a 73 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: sisterly affection for the hairy goofball, so she didn't mind. 74 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: They'd do what they always did, laugh, move on work 75 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 1: another scene. Then she'd go home for the night and 76 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: get ready to do it all again next day, but 77 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 1: not Robin. Once they finished shooting, Robin slipped back into 78 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,719 Speaker 1: his trademark rainbow suspenders, strapped on a pair of roller skates, 79 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,359 Speaker 1: and cruised his way through the Paramount Studio a lot 80 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 1: with a dorky grin on his face. He grabbed a 81 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: ham sandwich as he skated past the Kraft food cart, 82 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 1: spitting his way around frantic production assistants and set dressers 83 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: carrying tables across the way to yet another sound stage. 84 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 1: Eventually he made his way to LA's Sunset Strip. He 85 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 1: did a line of cocaine in the parking lot outside 86 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,120 Speaker 1: the comedy store, ordered a rum and coke at the 87 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:39,360 Speaker 1: bar as he watched Richard Pryor or Jonathan Winters or 88 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 1: some no name prankster try to coax a chuckle from 89 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: the crowd. And then Robin Williams hopped on stage and 90 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: grabbed the mic himself. Most comedians had a tightly scripted 91 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:55,040 Speaker 1: ten minute set, but Robin's style was always a bit 92 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: more freewheeling. You couldn't even tell the difference between the 93 00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,840 Speaker 1: jokes that he'd rehearsed and the ones he'd made up 94 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:03,719 Speaker 1: on the spot. Do you think God gets stoned? Just 95 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 1: look at the platypus. As soon as he was done, 96 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: Robin was off to see his buddy Taylor mcgroan at 97 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,720 Speaker 1: the Laugh Factory, do another line, have another rum and coke, 98 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: maybe flirt with the waitress, and then get back on 99 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 1: the microphone. I fucked the prostitute when I turned twenty one. 100 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: I was so bad she gave me a refund. He 101 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: the laugh track in the flood of endorphins. And that's 102 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 1: when Robin would see another old friend in the corner 103 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,480 Speaker 1: of the bar. Maybe this time it would be Jim 104 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: Stall from Happy Days. The two of them would have 105 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,840 Speaker 1: another drink, maybe a quick bump, Okay, just one more, 106 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 1: and find another girl to flirt with. Sometimes you get 107 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 1: to go out of your way to get into trouble. 108 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 1: It's called fun. And then it was off to the 109 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 1: next stop the night. Maybe this time it would be 110 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,840 Speaker 1: the Comedy Magic Club. And that was all the way 111 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,599 Speaker 1: out in her Mosa Beach. But Robin's buddy was dating 112 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: this model who lived around the corner. Her place was 113 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: always packed with beautiful drugs and even more beautiful women. Besides, 114 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 1: the night was young, and he didn't have to be 115 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: on set for another eight hours. And if he was 116 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,720 Speaker 1: still awake when the sun came up again, well that's 117 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 1: why there was cocaine, the Devil's standrift, RuView, merchan powder, 118 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 1: God's way of telling you you're making too much money. 119 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: Ask anyone who knew Robin Williams, and they'd tell you 120 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 1: he was fast, not just on his roller skates or 121 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 1: the way he talked. His brain itself moved at breakneck speed. 122 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 1: It had nothing to do with the cocaine. Hell, most 123 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 1: folks said, the drugs slowed him down more than anything. 124 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: What would have been operas for anyone else. Brought his 125 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 1: manic mind back down to the level that most people 126 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,920 Speaker 1: called reality. Made it easier formed to relate to other 127 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 1: people and focus on the conversation at hand instead of 128 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 1: firing off another impulse in his supersonic synapses. Robin existed 129 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 1: on a totally different wavelength from the rest of the world. 130 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 1: It's what made him such a damn good performer, but 131 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: it also made him lonely. He was always out of sick, 132 00:07:56,120 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 1: functioning on a different frequency than everybody else, and that 133 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 1: way since he was a kid. He was an only 134 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: child as far as he knew. His cold, alcoholic father 135 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 1: had a corporate job. That meant the family moved around 136 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: a lot, which made it harder for Robin to form 137 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: new friendships. His mom was a socialite who used her 138 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 1: wit to charm strangers and maybe to deflect. 139 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 2: From her own loneliness. 140 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: Humor was the fastest way to her affection, and that 141 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 1: left an impression on young Robin, who spent the rest 142 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 1: of his childhood inside of his own head. Making someone 143 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 1: laugh was the only way he knew to make a 144 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: genuine human connection. And that's not to say that Robin 145 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 1: couldn't be serious. After all, he'd attended the prestigious Juilliard 146 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 1: at School for acting, and although he did drop out 147 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:47,599 Speaker 1: once he realized that the school's traditional approach. 148 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 2: Couldn't do much for him. 149 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: Later in life, Robin would be celebrated for his dramatic 150 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: roles in films like Dead Poet, Society, The Fisher King, 151 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 1: and Goodwill Hunting, but his comedy was always a constant. 152 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,439 Speaker 1: More than women, and more than alcohol, and even more 153 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: than cocaine, Robin Williams was addicted to the dopamine rush 154 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: of being on stage, saying whatever came into his mind 155 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: and lighting the audience up in hysterics. 156 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:14,679 Speaker 2: It was the closest he. 157 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,920 Speaker 1: Could come to that ineffable something he was craving, but 158 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 1: it still wasn't quite enough to sate his frantic mind. 159 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 1: Maybe that's why most of Robin's friends were also comedians, 160 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 1: like Richard Pryor and John Belushi. They understood the craving 161 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,560 Speaker 1: and the thrill, the transcendent energy of feeding off the 162 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 1: audience like a vampire. But Robin also envied them as artists, 163 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: the way they turned their own vulnerabilities into weapons of 164 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: hilarious delight. Robin always wanted to create that sort of 165 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 1: confessional comedy, but he was afraid of what he'd find 166 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: when he'd mind the depths of his own brain. During 167 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: one of his many marathon La comedy nights in the 168 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,559 Speaker 1: early eighties, Robin ended up at John Belushi's bungalow with 169 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:03,439 Speaker 1: the Chateau armand Except Boulevard. He got there at two am, 170 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: just as Robert de Niro was leaving. Belushi was pretty 171 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 1: out of it. He could barely form words. He strummed 172 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,079 Speaker 1: a boxy guitar, and the sunken night hippie chick sitting 173 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 1: next to him had a creepy smile. She kept fiddling 174 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:21,240 Speaker 1: with a syringe. It was a bad vibe. Robin stuck 175 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: around long enough to do an obligatory line, and then 176 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 1: he get the hell out of there. And the next day, 177 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 1: back on the set of Morcanmindy, he couldn't stop thinking 178 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: about the night before. Robin wasn't one to judge someone 179 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,440 Speaker 1: else's drug use, but the scene at Belushi's had been 180 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:40,680 Speaker 1: too weird to ignore that girl that needle. When Pam 181 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: Daubern asked her she could talk to him during a 182 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: break in that day shoot, Robin could tell it was serious. 183 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,640 Speaker 1: Pam had been sent by the show's producers to break 184 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:55,280 Speaker 1: the news John Belushi, who was dead. Robin could easily 185 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: guess why Pam was sent to soften the blow. They 186 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: didn't want Robin to get too upset. They also knew 187 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 1: that Robin had been with Belushi during his final hours, 188 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: and they needed to cover their asses in case their 189 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:11,439 Speaker 1: star was an accessory of manslaughter. Robin stood there, wide 190 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: eyed with his hands folded at his waist while Pam talked. 191 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 1: When he finally spoke, Robin just kept repeating, I was 192 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: there last night. 193 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 2: I was with him. I was there last night. I 194 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,000 Speaker 2: was with him. 195 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:28,319 Speaker 1: Pam tried to comfort her friend, but eventually something inside 196 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,720 Speaker 1: of her snapped. She placed her hands on Robin's shoulders 197 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: and looked him straight. 198 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 2: In the eye. 199 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 1: If that ever happens to you, Pam said, I will 200 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 1: find you and kill you first. Robin smiled cautiously. He 201 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: reassured Pam that it would never happen to him. Swear 202 00:11:45,679 --> 00:12:12,199 Speaker 1: to God, he hated lying to his friends. 203 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 2: The Frog Prince was pissed. 204 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 1: You could see it in the deadness of his bulging 205 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: plastic eyes. Fuck ABC, Fuck every single one of those 206 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 1: corporate shitheads and their stupid fucking suits. He ripped the 207 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 1: web fingers off his hands and began to pound the 208 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,120 Speaker 1: green rubber head on his shoulders with his own fleshy fists. 209 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 1: They don't have any fucking taste, wouldn't know a good 210 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,559 Speaker 1: joke if they got their fucking dick's wet. Fuck. 211 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 2: It was nineteen eighty two. 212 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,200 Speaker 1: Robin Williams was playing the title role of the Frog 213 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 1: Prince in the debut episode of Fairytale Theater, a new 214 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 1: anthology series for the cable network Showtime, directed by Monty 215 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 1: Python Sarah Idel. Robin didn't know what was worse, receiving 216 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 1: the news that his sitcom Morecamendi had just been canceled, 217 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 1: or the fact that he had to process that news 218 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,320 Speaker 1: while being stuck inside of a stupid, fucking, sweaty ass 219 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 1: frog costume. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone who 220 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 1: described Robin Williams as short tempered or difficult, but pressed 221 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 1: a little harder, and they'd admit that, yeah, they'd seen 222 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: him have a random meltdown here and there, just maybe 223 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,280 Speaker 1: not while wearing a giant rubber frog suit. At the 224 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,440 Speaker 1: time of the Frog Prince Fiasco, Robin was struggling to 225 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:28,440 Speaker 1: break into movies. Morgan Mindy was a steady paycheck, but 226 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 1: Robin knew he was meant for something else. He just 227 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 1: didn't know what or how do make it happen. His 228 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 1: only other credit at that point was a low budget 229 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: musical version of Popeye the Sailor Man, and even though 230 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,560 Speaker 1: our tour Robert Altman directed the picture, in the legendary 231 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:46,080 Speaker 1: Harry Nilsen composed the music, the end result was so 232 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 1: embarrassingly bad that it became a running gag and Robin's 233 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:52,640 Speaker 1: stand up below me down, are you fucking kidding me? 234 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 1: That line actually worked on a woman. Robin's wife, Valerie, 235 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,400 Speaker 1: had moved back up to Napa Valley in the meantime. 236 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: She wanted to avoid the La spotlight. She knew that 237 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,040 Speaker 1: Robin liked the adoration, but it just wasn't her scene. 238 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,240 Speaker 1: For a while, the two of them only saw each 239 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 1: other on the weekends there in between projects, but something 240 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,960 Speaker 1: changed that summer when Valerie told Robin she was pregnant. 241 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 1: Robin had been trying to take it easy on the 242 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 1: drugs after Belushi's death. The sudden realization that he was 243 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,040 Speaker 1: going to have a son made him finally get serious 244 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 1: about sobriety, and he quit boozing coke straight away. No 245 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 1: twelve steps or therapy or feel good programs, just cold turkey. 246 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 1: A few weeks later, his next movie, Outing the World 247 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 1: According to Garb, hit theaters, and the John Irving book 248 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: became an almost instant hit at the box office. Things 249 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:49,200 Speaker 1: were finally looking up in more ways than one. Later 250 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 1: in life, in a letter to his son Zach, Robin 251 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 1: would write that his birth gave him a new sense 252 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 1: of meeting and focus into his life. It also gave 253 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 1: him plenty of new material. It's a boy, and he's 254 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: hung like a bear. Wait no, that's the umbilical cord. 255 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: Of course, there were some habits Robin still couldn't break. 256 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 1: One was his addiction to the rush of stand up 257 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 1: comedy and the high that he come from the crowd. 258 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,760 Speaker 2: He'd find any excuse to. 259 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 1: Leave Valerie behind with the baby and Nappa, and had 260 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 1: to la to indulge in another one of those in 261 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,720 Speaker 1: miss all night comedy marathons. He even learned to enjoy 262 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 1: them without the help of mind altering substances, which brings 263 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: us to the other habit that Robin Williams couldn't break women. 264 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,360 Speaker 1: Robin had always messed around in the past. Valerie would 265 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: either give him her blessing or at least forgive him. 266 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 2: She knew her husband was a star. 267 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 1: She couldn't help the fact that women threw themselves at him. Besides, 268 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 1: he was out on the road a lot all by himself. 269 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: But after Zach was born, it got harder for her 270 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 1: to go along with it. She resented the fact that 271 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 1: she was stuck at home with a baby while her 272 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 1: husband was off gallivanting with some hot young thing. And 273 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 1: Robin wasn't dumb. He knew it was getting He tried 274 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 1: to keep it in his pants for a while, but 275 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 1: then another opportunity would present itself, and as Valerie once said, 276 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 1: you'd have to be a saint to resist, and Robin 277 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 1: was certainly no saint. God gave me a penis in 278 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: a brain and only enough blood to use one at 279 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: a time. Robin met Michelle tash Carter at the improv 280 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: in nineteen eighty four, where she was working as a 281 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 1: cocktail waitress. The twenty one year old it spent her 282 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: teenage years touring the country as a musician, and now 283 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,560 Speaker 1: she was looking for her big break in la Robin's 284 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 1: career wasn't quite in a spot where he could help 285 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 1: her out with that, but he. 286 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 2: Could still take her home. Again. 287 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 1: This wasn't Robin's first affair, and again Val insisted she 288 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 1: was fine with it at first on the surface, anyway, 289 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 1: It's not like Robin had any investment in Michelle that 290 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:52,040 Speaker 1: had no emotional relationship. They were just fucking casually and regularly. 291 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 1: For about two years. Well, Robin and Val drifted further 292 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 1: and further apart, and by the time Robin called things 293 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 1: off with Michelle, his marriage was already dead in the water. 294 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:05,240 Speaker 1: And then Michelle told Robin she was also pregnant with 295 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,679 Speaker 1: his child and that he had given her herpes. A 296 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,000 Speaker 1: woman would never make something as deadly as a nuke. 297 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 1: She'd invent something worse, like a bomb that makes you 298 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 1: feel really bad for a while. It turned out Michelle 299 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,360 Speaker 1: was not telling the truth, instead just trying to extort 300 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,199 Speaker 1: Robin for his money when he refused to give it 301 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,879 Speaker 1: to her lies. She sued him for six million dollars 302 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:29,920 Speaker 1: for personal injury, fraud, an intentional infliction of emotional distress. 303 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,640 Speaker 1: At this point, Robin and Valerie were just starting their 304 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 1: formal divorce process. Michelle Carter wasn't the reason for the split, 305 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: but the added stress didn't make it any easier. Robin 306 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,159 Speaker 1: was already ashamed that he had let his marriage fall apart, 307 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: and now he also lived in constant fear that Michelle's 308 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: baseless claims would create a pr nightmare that would skewer 309 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 1: his career. The Love Comedian settles herpes' lawsuit and forty 310 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,719 Speaker 1: eight point font on the front page. More than anything, 311 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,040 Speaker 1: he was terrified of what it might do to three 312 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 1: year old Zach. Robin couldn't bear the thought of disappointing 313 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 1: his son, especially after the estrangement he had felt from 314 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,960 Speaker 1: his own father, who Robin had just reconnected with after 315 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:16,440 Speaker 1: learning that the elder Williams was dying of cancer. While 316 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,719 Speaker 1: all of this was happening, the divorce, the cancer, the affair, 317 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:23,919 Speaker 1: the lawsuit, Robin also began a new relationship with Marcia Grace, 318 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 1: who had been Zack's nanny and later Robin's personal assistant. 319 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,119 Speaker 1: Things with Valerie were over and done before anything happened 320 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,040 Speaker 1: with Marcia, but the press still spun it into a bigger, 321 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 1: uglier drama than it actually was. And of course this 322 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:43,639 Speaker 1: all exploded publicly right as Robin's dramatic acting career was 323 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 1: finally taking off. It was like the ups and downs 324 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 1: he'd experienced in the eighties had also helped him tap 325 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: into the darkness he'd been carrying around for his entire life. 326 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,320 Speaker 1: Nowhere was this more apparent than on the set of 327 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,479 Speaker 1: The Fisher King, the nineteen ninety one film directed by 328 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 1: Terry Gilly, another former Monny Python member. Robin was cast 329 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,560 Speaker 1: in the role of Parry, a man dealing with homelessness 330 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 1: and severe mental illness who thinks he's on a quest 331 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,959 Speaker 1: to find the Holy Grail. Robin beat himself up on 332 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,159 Speaker 1: set most days, either because he was worried about disappointing 333 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,480 Speaker 1: fans who liked him for his comedy, or because he 334 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 1: didn't think that he was going dark enough. One day, 335 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 1: he was filming a scene on a treadmill running in 336 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,400 Speaker 1: place so that Gilliam could get some close ups during 337 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 1: what became a terrifying hallucination sequence. It was late at night, 338 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:38,000 Speaker 1: but Robin kept running. He'd scream in agony, gripping at 339 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 1: his heart with sweat pouring down his face as he 340 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,720 Speaker 1: tried to trigger his own breakdown. Gilliam said he'd got 341 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 1: the shot he needed. Robin flipped, no, it's not real yet. 342 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 1: He was heaving short of death, feet still pounding on 343 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,240 Speaker 1: the mat as he screamed, I can go deeper, I 344 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:58,600 Speaker 1: can feel more, show more. Gilliam reminded Robin that it's acting, 345 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,880 Speaker 1: it's not supposed to be. He encouraged him to save 346 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 1: his energy, but Robin wouldn't listen. He yelled at the 347 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,639 Speaker 1: crew for rushing him through the scene, even though he'd 348 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:12,879 Speaker 1: already been running in place for hours. These outbursts became 349 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 1: more common as they kept filming. There were some nights 350 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:20,440 Speaker 1: when Robin's intensity legitimately terrified the crew, but he showed 351 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,760 Speaker 1: his silly side just as often, using his improv skills 352 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,360 Speaker 1: to scare away the vagrants who'd wander onto set. During 353 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,480 Speaker 1: late night shoots in Central Park, he reveled in the 354 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,919 Speaker 1: scenes that had him running naked through the park, proudly 355 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 1: shaking his hairy ass at the new York City Skyline. 356 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 1: Another night, a pack of pigeons unleashed an onslaught of 357 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,879 Speaker 1: runny white shit onto him and his co star Jeff 358 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,919 Speaker 1: Bridge's right when they finished filming an emotional scene at 359 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,920 Speaker 1: four in the morning. Bridges said it was the only 360 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 1: time he saw Robin at a loss for words. After 361 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,879 Speaker 1: the movie came out, Robin sat for an interview with 362 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 1: Playboy magazine. At the end of the conversation, the interviewer 363 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: asked Robin if he had any fears of losing the 364 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:05,600 Speaker 1: balance between his public and his private life. He responded 365 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:09,040 Speaker 1: by comparing himself to Jersey Kazinski and a claimed author 366 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,480 Speaker 1: who had just recently died by suicide after suffering a 367 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: debilitating stroke. He just didn't want to become a vegetable. 368 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 1: He didn't want to lose his sharpness. Robin said, if 369 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,480 Speaker 1: I felt like I was becoming not just dull but 370 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 1: a rock that I still couldn't spark, still fire off 371 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:29,359 Speaker 1: or talk about things, I'd get afraid. Robin explained that 372 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 1: he had to keep finding new ways to let his 373 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:36,159 Speaker 1: mind run wild because that's what kept him stable. He 374 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 1: didn't mention the bird shit. 375 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 2: We'll be right back after this we're were were? 376 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 1: The sudden knock on the door made Robin Williams jump 377 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 1: so high he almost dropped his bottle. It's hard to 378 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 1: get that sour mash smell out of the carpet. Harder 379 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,200 Speaker 1: still to hide it from your friends. 380 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:01,720 Speaker 2: Who is it? 381 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:05,960 Speaker 1: It was Men's, Robin's longtime makeup artists. A new drug 382 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,000 Speaker 1: store was opening up downtown. Men's heard they might cut 383 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 1: a ribbon, blow up some balloons, might even be cake. 384 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,200 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, wow, that sounds like a rollicking way to 385 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 1: spend the day. Robin rolled his eyes and took another 386 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 1: swig of jack. If only there was literally anything else 387 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 1: to do here in nowhere, Yukon Territory. They were there 388 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 1: to work on an indie flick called The Big White. 389 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,400 Speaker 1: It was a smaller production than Robin and his team 390 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,960 Speaker 1: were used to. It was a lot colder and more 391 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,720 Speaker 1: desolate than they expected. We could always go outside and 392 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 1: throw a cup of coffee up in the air, Robin said, 393 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 1: we can see if it'll freeze before it hits the 394 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:43,600 Speaker 1: fucking ground. As he took another drink, he realized Min's 395 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:47,280 Speaker 1: was right. A pharmacy opening probably was the most exciting 396 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,200 Speaker 1: thing that was ever going to happen there, fine, he'd 397 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 1: be right out. Robin opened the door to find Men's frowning. 398 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:57,159 Speaker 1: She looked him up and down once twice, and then again. 399 00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 1: She took a big, cartoonish whiff of him and crossed 400 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,760 Speaker 1: her arms. What Robin tried to play innocent, but he 401 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,040 Speaker 1: knew that she knew exactly what was going on. He 402 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 1: reeked of whiskey. He was wasted. He was eager to 403 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 1: make some mistakes. The Big White seemed like a small 404 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,199 Speaker 1: commitment when Robin took the job in the spring of 405 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,239 Speaker 1: two thousand and four, a few weeks in Yukon, and 406 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,119 Speaker 1: then another few in Skagway, Alaska, and then back to 407 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:27,200 Speaker 1: the Yukon before wrapping up in Winnipeg. Besides, he'd never 408 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,399 Speaker 1: acted in sub zero temperatures before, so it sounded like 409 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:33,760 Speaker 1: a fun challenge. But the lonely tundra also gave him 410 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,879 Speaker 1: plenty of time to reflect on his failings. There were 411 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,200 Speaker 1: no comedy clubs out there, no laughing crowds to distract 412 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 1: him from himself. Robin's mind had nowhere to hide, and 413 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:48,520 Speaker 1: he didn't like his own company. At a local grocery store, 414 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,199 Speaker 1: a nip of Jack Daniels caught his eye. It had 415 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 1: been almost twenty one years since he got cold turkey, 416 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 1: so he figured he could handle it, just to take 417 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 1: the edge off right Within a week, you could hear 418 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:04,399 Speaker 1: the bottle clinking everywhere he went. In the decade or 419 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 1: so leading up to his relapse, Robin's career had been 420 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 1: a roller coaster. Straight off the Fisher King, he starred 421 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,280 Speaker 1: in massive Hollywood hits like. 422 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:13,439 Speaker 2: Hook and Jumanji. 423 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,679 Speaker 1: He had even more success with his voiceover work on 424 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,239 Speaker 1: Fern Gully and Aladdin, although he got into a bit 425 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,400 Speaker 1: of a pissing match with Disney over using his voice 426 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: to sell shitty toys to children. As an alcoholic, you 427 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,720 Speaker 1: will violate your standards. 428 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,040 Speaker 2: Quicker than you can lower them. 429 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 1: Robin had spent the nineties working to the bone, filming 430 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 1: projects back to back and releasing it before films a year, 431 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,479 Speaker 1: and all those highs were met with even deeper lows. 432 00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,239 Speaker 1: For every Missus doutfire, there was a flubber or a 433 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:46,800 Speaker 1: Father's Day, an absolute critical and financial disaster. Even Robin's 434 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 1: most successful projects still put him in the crosshairs of 435 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,160 Speaker 1: the critics who said he was too silly, or two 436 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,639 Speaker 1: sacrin or too sentimental. 437 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,960 Speaker 2: Or just two Robin Williams. 438 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 1: Phoning in some weird performance that was maybe entertaining on 439 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,200 Speaker 1: its own, but never quite connected to the rest to 440 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,920 Speaker 1: the movie. He finally won his first oscar in nineteen 441 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 1: ninety eight for his role as a therapist in goodwill Hunting, 442 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:11,359 Speaker 1: and eighteen months later he was a joke again thanks 443 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 1: to buy Centennial Man. By the time Robin got to Alaska, 444 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:18,919 Speaker 1: he had plenty of regrets to dwell on, so he 445 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,000 Speaker 1: crawled inside a bottle to quiet his thoughts. Then six 446 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:27,320 Speaker 1: months later, his best friend passed away. Robin had met 447 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,000 Speaker 1: Christopher Reeve in college and there as sent and to 448 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,680 Speaker 1: stardom have been almost parallel. Chris was even godfather to 449 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,159 Speaker 1: Robin's son, Zach. They both struggled with the balance of 450 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,639 Speaker 1: their personal and professional lives, except that Chris had literally 451 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:44,520 Speaker 1: been both Clark Kent and Superman. After a horse riding 452 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,520 Speaker 1: accident left Chris paralyzed, Robin renovated his friend's entire home 453 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,600 Speaker 1: to make sure everything was still accessible for Chris's new wheelchair. 454 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:56,960 Speaker 1: The news of Chris's death sent Robins spiraling further. Being 455 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 1: a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic Lapman. 456 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 1: You can do it, just not as well as the others. 457 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,439 Speaker 1: Things came to a head the next year at Thanksgiving. 458 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,280 Speaker 1: Imagine a shit faced Robin Williams with an uncooked turkey 459 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,359 Speaker 1: neck dangling out of his pants as he slurred his 460 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,159 Speaker 1: way through a monologue about his tender meat. Do you 461 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 1: think God was high when he made Dix? And Yeah, 462 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:19,920 Speaker 1: we'll just pull this part back and put a mushroom 463 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 1: at the tip in Bam, We're done. Oh, let's put 464 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:23,399 Speaker 1: some balls at the bottom. 465 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,879 Speaker 2: Balls are fun. Who doesn't like balls? 466 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,240 Speaker 1: It got so bad that Zach Now in college, had 467 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,520 Speaker 1: to carry his father up the stairs and wrestle him 468 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: onto the bed. But Robin still hadn't found his rock bottom, 469 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 1: not even in two thousand and six. It can when 470 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,159 Speaker 1: he drunkenly dropped hundreds of thousands of dollars at a 471 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:45,919 Speaker 1: charity auction. At one point, Robin stumbled up to the 472 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,320 Speaker 1: podium with a pair of designer sunglasses on to hide 473 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 1: his bloodshot eyes, and proudly proclaimed, I just bought a 474 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:55,360 Speaker 1: forty thousand dollars coke file. It was actually a diamond 475 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:59,520 Speaker 1: necklace from Harmani. The paparazzi were there to document the night, 476 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 1: so Robin thought the ruse was up. He was so 477 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,159 Speaker 1: clearly tanked that someone had to figure it out. But 478 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,720 Speaker 1: everyone else thought it was one big joke, and everyone 479 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:13,640 Speaker 1: adored Robin's wacky improv skills. Everyone that is, except his wife, Marcia. 480 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:17,680 Speaker 1: Grace was mortified until she saw how much money he'd 481 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:21,359 Speaker 1: spent on that private wyeclough Sean concert eighty grand. 482 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,880 Speaker 2: Then she was just pissed. 483 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,840 Speaker 1: A few weeks later, Robin sat naked in a hotel 484 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,399 Speaker 1: room with his pal Jack Daniels by his side. Fuck life, 485 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,920 Speaker 1: he said out loud. A little voice inside his head 486 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 1: was sober enough to hear him. It spoke back, seriously, 487 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,360 Speaker 1: what the fuck you know? You got it pretty fucking good, right? 488 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,400 Speaker 1: You think maybe that bottle there might be influencing your 489 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,440 Speaker 1: thought process? Great, so let's save the suicide discussion for 490 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:55,639 Speaker 1: another day, maybe after we started therapy. Not long after 491 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,680 Speaker 1: Zach got the family together to stage an intervention, Robin 492 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,920 Speaker 1: agreed to spend the summer of two thousand and six 493 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,680 Speaker 1: at a residential rehabilitation center in Oregon. He was still 494 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,760 Speaker 1: a little hesitant about the twelve step program and after all, 495 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,320 Speaker 1: he'd gone cold turkey once before, he could do it 496 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 1: again right. 497 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,080 Speaker 2: But then he realized that was exactly the problem. 498 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,080 Speaker 1: He had never stopped to reflect on why he'd been 499 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:24,560 Speaker 1: abusing drugs and alcohol the first time around. Robin's time 500 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 1: in Oregon brought him clarity and helped him find a 501 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 1: new perspective on life. His new commitment to sobriety meant 502 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,359 Speaker 1: new beginnings. Zach had just moved to New York with 503 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,919 Speaker 1: his own fiance, and Robin was eager to get to 504 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,480 Speaker 1: know him as an adult instead of just as a son. 505 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,719 Speaker 1: He was just as excited to see his daughter, Zelda 506 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,880 Speaker 1: finish high school and moved to la to start her 507 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 1: own acting career, but his relationship with Marcia Grace never 508 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:53,080 Speaker 1: quite recovered. The betrayal of his relapse and the lies 509 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 1: that came along with it, had left a wound too 510 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: deep to heal. But it wasn't just emotional wounds that 511 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 1: Robin at the cat with or the crazy shit he 512 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,840 Speaker 1: had done while he was high. It was something else, 513 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,200 Speaker 1: something inside of him waiting to go out of sync 514 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:31,160 Speaker 1: one final time. Robin Williams couldn't stay single for long. 515 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,240 Speaker 1: In twenty eleven, he got married again, this time to 516 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:39,480 Speaker 1: a visual artist named Susan Schneider. Together they settled into 517 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,800 Speaker 1: a new home in the Bay Area, in a small 518 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 1: town of ten thousand people. When he wasn't doing stand 519 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 1: up at the local community theater or nearby playhouse, he 520 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 1: went to regular meetings for his twelve Step program, even 521 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:55,480 Speaker 1: returned to Broadway for a stint. As Robin entered into 522 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,760 Speaker 1: his sixth decade of life, he was finally feeling content 523 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,160 Speaker 1: and ready to enjoy things at a slower, steadier pace. 524 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:07,240 Speaker 1: But Robin's brain was always fast, and it slowed down 525 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:13,680 Speaker 1: even faster. In twenty thirteen, Robin took another TV gig 526 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 1: on a show called The Crazy Ones. It was his 527 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 1: first regular sitcom role since Mork and Mindy and seemed 528 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 1: like a nice, easy paycheck at the time, But he 529 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,400 Speaker 1: had trouble keeping up his energy and even more trouble 530 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,680 Speaker 1: hiding it. He thought maybe it was a lack of 531 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,720 Speaker 1: a live studio audience to feed off of, and then 532 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,640 Speaker 1: his body started aching in new and unexpected ways, and 533 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,120 Speaker 1: things got worse from there. At one point, the producers 534 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,760 Speaker 1: convinced his old More co star Pam Dauber, to come 535 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,080 Speaker 1: out of retirement for a recurring role in the show 536 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 1: in the hopes that it might get Robin's spirits up. 537 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:49,200 Speaker 2: It didn't. 538 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:53,240 Speaker 1: After the show ended, Robin traveled to Vancouver to reprise 539 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,640 Speaker 1: his role as Teddy Roosevelt in the third night at 540 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 1: the Museum Movie Men's, His longtime makeup artist went with 541 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 1: him as usual, and once again she knew something was up. 542 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,680 Speaker 1: She found him in his hotel room sobbing. The hell 543 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,680 Speaker 1: is wrong with me? Robin asked, can't even remember my 544 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 1: goddamn lines. Men's thought maybe he just needed that audience 545 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,959 Speaker 1: adrenaline and that always cheered him up. She gotten him 546 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,720 Speaker 1: by the arm to try and pull him off the bed, 547 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,840 Speaker 1: which was far easier than she expected. He'd lost a 548 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,600 Speaker 1: lot of weight. She reminded him about a comedy club 549 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 1: down the street and they should go check it out. 550 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 1: Robin looked at Men's with sunken eyes. His heart began 551 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:35,480 Speaker 1: racing faster, faster, faster, still, a steady rhythm pounding in 552 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,160 Speaker 1: his ears, a pulsing pain that started in his core 553 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,240 Speaker 1: and pushed up through the center of a skull. He 554 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,600 Speaker 1: clenched a hand against his chest as if he could stop. 555 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,520 Speaker 1: His lungs were shriveling tighter inside of him. I can't mind's, 556 00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:48,000 Speaker 1: he said. 557 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:49,280 Speaker 2: I don't know how. 558 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,840 Speaker 1: The room seemed to shrink and then collapse all around him. 559 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,120 Speaker 1: The walls heaved in and out. He tried to breathe, 560 00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 1: but it was like someone was squeezing his throat shut. 561 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,600 Speaker 1: There's no way out, no way out of the room, 562 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:06,480 Speaker 1: no way out of his mind. Several weeks after Robin 563 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,960 Speaker 1: suffered a full blown panic attack, a doctor diagnosed him 564 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:14,080 Speaker 1: with Parkinson's decease. Robin probably had at least ten good 565 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 1: years left in him if he did things right. But 566 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,320 Speaker 1: Robin's relief was short lived. He wasn't having any trouble 567 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 1: with motor functions. Whatever was happening to him, it was 568 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:28,360 Speaker 1: in his mind. Robin went home to his wife Susan, 569 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:32,240 Speaker 1: and suddenly started losing entire days as soon as they happened. 570 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,760 Speaker 1: I just want to reboot my brain, he told her. 571 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:39,120 Speaker 1: Some days he'd call Zach ranting paranoid about how Susan's 572 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,360 Speaker 1: friends were all drug addicts out to steal his money, 573 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:45,960 Speaker 1: and then forget the entire conversation. One night, Robin saw 574 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 1: fellow comedian Dana Carvey in the parking lot of the 575 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,480 Speaker 1: Bay Area theater that had become a second home. Robin 576 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,520 Speaker 1: ran after him, pleading, tears streaming down his face. I'm 577 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,640 Speaker 1: sorry about my dick, he said, how I call it, 578 00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,800 Speaker 1: mister Happy, That was your joke. I stole it from 579 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 1: you all those years ago, and I just pretended like 580 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:05,480 Speaker 1: it never happened. I'm so sorry, Dana hell Robin, while 581 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,120 Speaker 1: he cried, and gently tried to explain that actually, that 582 00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,080 Speaker 1: wasn't his stick joke. If Robin had stolen it, he 583 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:15,040 Speaker 1: must have gotten it from someone else, and this just 584 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:18,920 Speaker 1: made Robin even more confused. Over the course of that 585 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:23,200 Speaker 1: summer in twenty fourteen, Robin's friends and family became increasingly 586 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:26,440 Speaker 1: concerned about his behavior. They all tried in their own 587 00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:30,320 Speaker 1: ways to gently intervene. On a Sunday night in August, 588 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 1: he said good night to his wife, did some reading 589 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 1: on his iPad, then went into the other room and 590 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:44,560 Speaker 1: hanged himself. After Robin's death by suicide, a medical autopsy 591 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 1: revealed that nearly every single neuron in his brain had 592 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:51,280 Speaker 1: been ravaged by Louis bodies. These are the same degenerative 593 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:55,280 Speaker 1: proteins that caused Parkinson's, but Robin was actually suffering from 594 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:59,440 Speaker 1: a different disease, a cousin of Parkinson's, called Louis body dementia. 595 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,040 Speaker 1: Several doctors said he had the single worst case they 596 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,920 Speaker 1: had ever seen. Instead of affecting Robin's motor skills, the 597 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:10,680 Speaker 1: Louis bodies attacked his amignala in his brain, rapidly destroying 598 00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 1: his ability to process memories, make decisions, or regulate his emotions, 599 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,880 Speaker 1: and by the time of his death, nearly half of 600 00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:22,960 Speaker 1: the dopamine neurons in his brain had been destroyed. There's 601 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,360 Speaker 1: an old joke. Guy goes to a shrink, says he's depressed. 602 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,120 Speaker 1: Shrink tells him to go see a clown called Polyacci 603 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 1: who's performing in. 604 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,080 Speaker 2: Town that night, and that'll cheer him up. 605 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:35,799 Speaker 1: And then the guy says, but doctor, I am Polyacci. 606 00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: It's not uncommon to hear about the pressed comedians. But 607 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:44,440 Speaker 1: that's not what happened with Robin Williams. Sure he struggled 608 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,760 Speaker 1: with his mental health for other reasons throughout his life. Obviously, 609 00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:49,359 Speaker 1: no one can know what was going through his head 610 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 1: at the time of his death, but the Louis body 611 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,560 Speaker 1: dementia meant that he was literally losing his entire sense 612 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:58,720 Speaker 1: of pleasure or reward. By the time he died, Robin 613 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:04,440 Speaker 1: was physiologically in capable of being happy. Robin Williams the 614 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 1: Blitzkrieg Brain was his greatest gift to the world. It 615 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 1: was also the thing that killed him. But like the 616 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:15,360 Speaker 1: man himself once said, death, it's just nature's way of saying, 617 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:26,120 Speaker 1: your table's ready. I'm Jake Brennan and this is hollywood Land. 618 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,960 Speaker 1: Hollywood Land was created by Years Truly and is produced 619 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:41,840 Speaker 1: in partnership with Double Elvis. Follow like, rate and review 620 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,160 Speaker 1: hollywood Land wherever you get your podcasts, and get in 621 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:45,360 Speaker 1: touch with us on social. 622 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:46,760 Speaker 2: Media at double Elvis. 623 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,279 Speaker 1: If you like hollywood Land, check out my other show, 624 00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,080 Speaker 1: the award winning Disgraceland, which looks at the world of 625 00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:54,239 Speaker 1: music through the lens of true crime. Just search for 626 00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,640 Speaker 1: Disgraceland or wherever you get your podcasts. 627 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:03,640 Speaker 3: That's there's a wive