Speaker 1: Carol, she's queen and talking if she's getting not afraid
Speaker 1: of feel it, so just let it flow. No one
Speaker 1: can with cry car learn this sounds care learned. Okay,
Speaker 1: I am here with the woman, the myth, the legend,
Speaker 1: all of the things Scout sobel she You've just created
Speaker 1: so much credible. You've dreamed up so much. You're such
Speaker 1: an entrepreneur to the point where you are releasing a book.
Speaker 1: But what I love about you so much is you
Speaker 1: are a badass business woman crushing it and like making
Speaker 1: so much money and changing women's lives and doing all
Speaker 1: this stuff. But like you are fully invested in your
Speaker 1: emotions and like putting leading with that, and you don't
Speaker 1: try to just like be this corporate, bold business person.
Speaker 1: You're like all about your feelings and you have a
Speaker 1: big journey. So I started working with you because you
Speaker 1: run a network called Scouts Agency, where you pretty much
Speaker 1: have kind of women who collaborate with you and you
Speaker 1: get them on podcasts, you get there, you get them branding,
Speaker 1: and you crush and like the guests that you have
Speaker 1: brought me have been some of my favorite interviews. Loved them.
Speaker 1: But you have had a long journey to get here,
Speaker 1: so kind of talk to me about your half. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so before we start recurring, I was like, it's so
Speaker 1: good to see you in person, because collaborating with you
Speaker 1: has been the best over the last two years. And
Speaker 1: you know, you know firsthand that we don't talk corporate
Speaker 1: lingo in our emails. And sometimes when I get a
Speaker 1: new employee, UM, I will literally slack her and me like,
Speaker 1: can you add more warmth to that email? You know,
Speaker 1: just because I really believe in human connection and all
Speaker 1: that we do. But where I started, so I suppose,
Speaker 1: you know, dreaming of all of this, running Scouts Agency,
Speaker 1: co hosting O Cases podcast, hosting Scout podcast, coming out
Speaker 1: with my book, The Emotional Entrepreneur is probably not the
Speaker 1: destination people thought that I would kind of end up
Speaker 1: A long time ago. When I was fourteen, I had
Speaker 1: my first suppressive episode and then I was formally diagnosed
Speaker 1: with bi polar disorder. At the age of twenty, I
Speaker 1: dropped out of what is a depressive episode? How do
Speaker 1: you know when you're having? So I'm sure you know
Speaker 1: when you're having. For me, specifically, it looked like just
Speaker 1: a complete dip in mood that lasted a couple of months,
Speaker 1: I stopped taking care of myself. I stopped putting myself
Speaker 1: together for school. You know, I was freshman in high school. Um,
Speaker 1: I started utilizing all these things to try and control
Speaker 1: you know, uh, either not eating or been ing and purging.
Speaker 1: I don't suffer from a needing disorder, but it was
Speaker 1: a way that I kind of attempted to have emotional
Speaker 1: control over what was happening to me. I was self harming,
Speaker 1: I was isolating, and I became very apparent to my
Speaker 1: loved ones and to my friends and family. So I
Speaker 1: knew pretty off the bat, and then my physical appearance
Speaker 1: reflected that in interchange. And then once news of the
Speaker 1: self harm and the restricting avinging came out, my parents
Speaker 1: put me in therapy and it was you know, let
Speaker 1: me see, I'm terrible at math. But it was about
Speaker 1: six years until I was diagnosed officially after going to therapy,
Speaker 1: and I was really the only friend of mine in therapy,
Speaker 1: and I don't remember really receiving quite judgment around it. Yes,
Speaker 1: my friends made funny at times for being the more
Speaker 1: sensitive one, for being the one that's a little bit
Speaker 1: more emotional, and so it was always kind of known
Speaker 1: that I struggle a little bit. Internally, I was known
Speaker 1: for taking ridiculous amounts of mental health days. I would
Speaker 1: just leave um my mom wrote me notes out, or
Speaker 1: sometimes I would just skip school constantly, just to feel
Speaker 1: alone and enter into my own little world. But I
Speaker 1: wasn't really until I got formally diagnosed, or I should
Speaker 1: say it wasn't really until I left for college that
Speaker 1: the symptoms became to a point where I couldn't just
Speaker 1: you could have just tracked me up to teenage hormones anymore.
Speaker 1: It was really something more that was happening in my brain.
Speaker 1: And I started developing paranoia that men were following me home,
Speaker 1: they were in my car, under my bed. I was
Speaker 1: very quickly losing touch with reality, and I remember calling
Speaker 1: my dad crying from the balcony of my apartment at college, saying,
Speaker 1: you know, something's going on here, and him even thinking
Speaker 1: to himself, Okay, well, is this just her being sensitive
Speaker 1: to the fact that she left home, the fact that
Speaker 1: her you know, my parents had just gotten divorced, or
Speaker 1: is something bigger happening to my daughter? And uh, something
Speaker 1: bigger was happening to me, which resulted in years of
Speaker 1: psychiatric medication. Different healing modalities. I unfortunately dropped out of
Speaker 1: college right when I was diagnosed. It was just, you know,
Speaker 1: I was this was ten years ago, nine years ago,
Speaker 1: and I think Instagram had just started. Pashtag self care
Speaker 1: wasn't a thing when they called, when they said I
Speaker 1: was my polar, I was like, my life's sucking over,
Speaker 1: Like that's it. I'm crazy. I'm done for right. It
Speaker 1: feels so scary. It doesn't anymore. But like what you're saying,
Speaker 1: I had a bipolar roommate when I was in college,
Speaker 1: and I remember thinking like I had never met anyone
Speaker 1: who was bipolar, and I didn't understand what it meant.
Speaker 1: And living with her I did get to understand, and
Speaker 1: medication helped her a lot. But like it is, it
Speaker 1: is scary because like it wasn't so talked about before
Speaker 1: social Yeah, and so you know, I always say, my
Speaker 1: husband's in recovery. He's ten years sober, and for for
Speaker 1: his specific mental health issue, which is addiction, there was
Speaker 1: a place for him to go. There was a rehab,
Speaker 1: and then you you go to detox, and then you
Speaker 1: go to rehab, and you go to sober living and
Speaker 1: then you have the rooms in the meeting. There was
Speaker 1: no structure for people who just struggled from mental illnesses
Speaker 1: on a general spectrum, and so I went through a
Speaker 1: period of my life where I was unfunctioning. I quit
Speaker 1: every single job I started. I couldn't even be a hostess,
Speaker 1: I couldn't hold a minimum wage job, I quit the internships, everything.
Speaker 1: And it really wasn't until I started dating my now
Speaker 1: husband then boyfriend, who looked at me and said, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't care if you're depressed. If you're depressed and hopeful,
Speaker 1: I can be in this relationship. If you're depressed and hopeless,
Speaker 1: I can't be here. That's it was a big moment
Speaker 1: for me. And it was the moment that I started
Speaker 1: taking my healing into my own hands, getting really really
Speaker 1: honest about my responsibility in the entire situation where I
Speaker 1: actually had control and where I did it, what narratives
Speaker 1: were holding me back, where depression was keeping me comfortable.
Speaker 1: And that was at the age of twenty one, and
Speaker 1: I've been on a pretty radical healing journey ever since.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure we'll get into it, but finding onto
Speaker 1: prenewership was the thing that allowed me to be functioning
Speaker 1: in society when psychiatrist, therapists and doctors were having conversations
Speaker 1: with me and my parents and loved ones where we
Speaker 1: didn't know what I would amount to. Essentially like hard
Speaker 1: to grasp in your mind, to sit here and to
Speaker 1: know like you probably have just like two totally different
Speaker 1: worlds that you're living because when the but I don't
Speaker 1: I don't know anything really about bipolar. So but when
Speaker 1: you're in the midst of what do you is it
Speaker 1: like an episode or so I'm type two, so Type
Speaker 1: one leans more towards mania, and I lead more towards
Speaker 1: towards depression. So I have hypomania, which I don't really
Speaker 1: talk about too much because quite honestly, it's really fun
Speaker 1: and not really that dangerous for me. Um Yeah, it
Speaker 1: kind of just feels like I'm, you know, a little
Speaker 1: high on life for a little bit, and I have energy,
Speaker 1: and my steering wheel feels amazing when I'm driving, and
Speaker 1: it's great because it hasn't my hypomania never got to
Speaker 1: a point and hasn't gotten to a point where it's dangerous, right,
Speaker 1: It's just kind of a momentary, repped up viewpoint of life.
Speaker 1: Um So, my episodes are really when I just plummet
Speaker 1: down really really quickly that after the hypermania. Hypermania is yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, my my cycles have changed over the years.
Speaker 1: They used to be people can rapid cycle, which means
Speaker 1: they can go in between feeling high and low very
Speaker 1: quickly within the day, within the hour, et cetera. Mine
Speaker 1: were more long, so I would go into depressive episodes
Speaker 1: for like three months at a time. It felt like
Speaker 1: every three months was kind of the way I faced
Speaker 1: And I mean, that's not true for my life today.
Speaker 1: But I was not such a rapid cycler. I was
Speaker 1: more like a long term cycler. What you know, what
Speaker 1: provokes the cycle? You know, back then, when I had
Speaker 1: such long, outstanding cycles, there was a lot in me
Speaker 1: that I wasn't taking care of myself. So responsibility was
Speaker 1: a trigger for me significantly, like having to show up somewhere,
Speaker 1: having to do something. Social events were triggers, traveling with triggers,
Speaker 1: basically anything that really had to do with me extending
Speaker 1: out of my comfort zone, putting myself out there and
Speaker 1: actually figuring out my life. So that's why I always
Speaker 1: say my bipolar disorder and depression kept me so comfortable
Speaker 1: and that I really became addicted to that state of
Speaker 1: mind because I didn't have to do anything. I could
Speaker 1: cancel last minute and my friends would be like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's a mental health thing, like she's sick, right, or
Speaker 1: I could not take them minimum wage job and just
Speaker 1: like live at my mom's house. It was a way
Speaker 1: for me to not look at my life in the
Speaker 1: eye and say, Okay, I'm here and I'm a human
Speaker 1: and this was the cards that I was dealt, and
Speaker 1: if I don't take radical responsibility over them, and if
Speaker 1: I don't stop saying, well, that's not fair because Sally
Speaker 1: down the street just went to college and got a
Speaker 1: job and it's fine, and I can't figure out why
Speaker 1: I can't get out of bed. I need to ditch
Speaker 1: that narrative today because it doesn't serve me. It doesn't
Speaker 1: hurt Sally, it hurts me. And once I was able
Speaker 1: to really really just accept that this is what I have,
Speaker 1: this is what I was born with, and not only
Speaker 1: this is what I was born with, but that I
Speaker 1: was born with it for a very divine purpose and reason.
Speaker 1: I was not accidentally born with emotions that overflow into
Speaker 1: dark corners for no reason. And so once I stopped
Speaker 1: playing a passive bystanderd in my life. And once I
Speaker 1: assumed the responsibility for my disorder and my illness, I
Speaker 1: didn't hand it off to my parents. I didn't hand
Speaker 1: it off to my psychiatrist or the medication or any
Speaker 1: of that. UM was when I started realizing that I
Speaker 1: am so much more in control than I ever thought.
Speaker 1: That the narrative that was given to me as someone
Speaker 1: with the mental illness was one of playing small and
Speaker 1: helpelessness and victimhood, and it's just not the narrative that
Speaker 1: that got me anywhere. And so once I had that
Speaker 1: mindset shift within, it didn't mean that I didn't experience
Speaker 1: heavy depression, catatonia, psychosis, I hear voices in my head.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that I don't experience that or haven't
Speaker 1: after making that decision over my life. It's just that
Speaker 1: I'm willing to bear it in the pursuit of other things.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. And that's like a big deal with someone
Speaker 1: diagnoses title on this label and says this is what
Speaker 1: are this is what you probably will amount to? This
Speaker 1: is it? I mean, that's like a huge, huge statement
Speaker 1: for someone to say that. And like, I know doctors,
Speaker 1: medical professionals as their job to like diagnose and stuff that. Like,
Speaker 1: I always struggle with people giving such definite answer to
Speaker 1: what someone is and what they based on circumstances that
Speaker 1: are being presented, because, like you, I believe that anyone
Speaker 1: can amount to anything if they are given their correct
Speaker 1: tools and find the right avenue, which what you said,
Speaker 1: you and given their support. You figured out that entrepreneurship
Speaker 1: was a part of your healing. I mean the fact
Speaker 1: that you figured that out. That's not a doctor would
Speaker 1: never die and give you that as part of your cure.
Speaker 1: I mean that's what you went on a search and
Speaker 1: found it. Like and how how did how does being
Speaker 1: an entrepreneur and spcifically an emotional entrepreneur is your self
Speaker 1: titled book and you're in who you are? How how
Speaker 1: has that helped you in being bipolar? What has that
Speaker 1: done for? So? Entrepreneurship just gave me a framework where
Speaker 1: my bipolar could play everything else my bipolar would flare
Speaker 1: up and take me down. You know. Working as a hostess,
Speaker 1: I could call my psychiatrist and take get a note
Speaker 1: to leave work earlier, not show up. I couldn't handle authority.
Speaker 1: There was just so many things that I didn't fit
Speaker 1: into the box. Seven. When I don't fit into the
Speaker 1: box of something or when something is out of alignment
Speaker 1: to this day, my depression will flare up so bad
Speaker 1: that it'll it'll force me to course correct. So don't
Speaker 1: shut you down, like when you feel like overwhelmed and overburdened,
Speaker 1: and like when like authority, like you're saying it kind
Speaker 1: of shut you down. I'll make a distinction here. It's
Speaker 1: not when I feel overwhelmed or overburdened by things. It's
Speaker 1: when the things on my plate aren't things that light
Speaker 1: me up. Okay, Okay. So I get overwhelmed constantly with
Speaker 1: Scouts Agency, and I'm like, I'll take it all day
Speaker 1: long because this is my dream and this is an
Speaker 1: alignment for me. So the moment I found entrepreneurship, at
Speaker 1: that point, I had garnered up some strength. I was
Speaker 1: working a part time job as a barista. I was
Speaker 1: like in one or two community college classes, just like
Speaker 1: dipping my toes in to see if I could start
Speaker 1: my life over. And I was sitting at a coffee
Speaker 1: shop with a good friend of mine and we were
Speaker 1: looking at a magazine and I just said, do you
Speaker 1: want to start a magazine? It just popped into my
Speaker 1: head and she said yes, and we were just going
Speaker 1: to print that King Goes. It was gonna be an
Speaker 1: onto Craps Project eight, and we were gonna pass it
Speaker 1: out to our friends for free, and my brain switched.
Speaker 1: That night. I went home, I bought the domain the Instagram.
Speaker 1: I researched every printer in Orange County, where I was
Speaker 1: living at the time. I had then set up all
Speaker 1: these meetings on every printer in a freaking fifty mile radius,
Speaker 1: and then I got a quote I needed ten thousand dollars,
Speaker 1: and then I did a Kickstarter and then you know,
Speaker 1: our third issue were distributed across the country and Bartons
Speaker 1: and Noble Emails. Meet a belista who was trying to
Speaker 1: go to community college to distribute my third issue, which
Speaker 1: had Halsey on the cover, and it was crazy, it
Speaker 1: was And all of a sudden, I became the girl
Speaker 1: who couldn't hold a minimum wage job, but I was
Speaker 1: showing up and then some for my own thing. And
Speaker 1: so it showed me that entrepreneurship puts so much responsibility
Speaker 1: on my shoulders that I can't not show up because
Speaker 1: if I don't show up, there's no one else to tap.
Speaker 1: In and so that much responsibility and me having the
Speaker 1: flexibilit reality and freedom to create the type of work
Speaker 1: I did, the speed at which I did the work,
Speaker 1: who I worked with, everything I could hand pick, just
Speaker 1: literally grooved with my mind. I mean by Polar's high
Speaker 1: highs low Lows Entrepreneurship High highs low Lows. I was like,
Speaker 1: I can do this all day long. So it was
Speaker 1: in that moment and that experience running that magazine at
Speaker 1: the age of twenty three, that I realized that I
Speaker 1: got to do my own thing from from here on out.
Speaker 1: And it sounds like you kick into like high turbo gear.
Speaker 1: I do. I kick into high high turbo gear. And
Speaker 1: it's I really shamed myself for it a lot. That's
Speaker 1: a that's an asset. That's amazing. I think that. I
Speaker 1: mean now, I mean I've always seen as an asset.
Speaker 1: But sometimes you know, I think, especially as women, I'm
Speaker 1: sure you can relate like you don't want to be
Speaker 1: too intense, you don't want to be too much, and
Speaker 1: so I've played that down to other people, but I
Speaker 1: think people who have seen me in the zone, it's
Speaker 1: it's a force, and I just don't stop. Tell me
Speaker 1: how you transition from the magazin to Scouts Agency. How
Speaker 1: you Scouts Agency? Because this is a very beach. I
Speaker 1: always say that word wrong, niche. I want to say niche,
Speaker 1: but I think that's wrong. It's niche, right, I say
Speaker 1: niche because oh niche, Okay from French? You know, Okay, niche.
Speaker 1: It's a very niche market that you have. And tell
Speaker 1: me how I feel like you're just an ideas person.
Speaker 1: When you see something and it clicks in your brain
Speaker 1: and it all lines up, you're like yes, and then
Speaker 1: you're like, not only yes, let me just like freaking
Speaker 1: whip this together like a baller and make it awesome. Yes.
Speaker 1: And I have done so many things that I've not
Speaker 1: even come to fruition because sometimes I just have an
Speaker 1: idea and I need to get the energy out, which
Speaker 1: is probably where the mania comes from. But I after
Speaker 1: starting that magazine, you know, the one thing I couldn't do,
Speaker 1: or I wasn't able to at that point in my life,
Speaker 1: was make it a viable business that financially made sense.
Speaker 1: So beyond the Kickstarter donation of ten thousand dollars, it
Speaker 1: was very difficult for me to see a situation where
Speaker 1: this made money without bringing an outside investments, etcetera. And
Speaker 1: at that point, like I emotionally, maturity wise, what I
Speaker 1: wanted for my life, I just wasn't there. And so
Speaker 1: I did a bunch of other things and I started
Speaker 1: a podcast. I started Okay, so this podcast with my sister,
Speaker 1: and six months into Okay so this podcast, we would
Speaker 1: have all these amazing women come on our podcast, and
Speaker 1: we were like, how are we taking to the Nestor
Speaker 1: Grimaldi in our hotel room right now? We're just two
Speaker 1: Jewish sisters from southern California who are somehow interviewing all
Speaker 1: these reality TV stars and our favorite entrepreneurs from our
Speaker 1: favorite brands. And so one I saw the power of
Speaker 1: the network that was coming into me and my sister's
Speaker 1: orbit just like five month in. And to what really
Speaker 1: interested me was that when we would have a guest
Speaker 1: on our podcast, our community would follow our guests on
Speaker 1: Instagram by their product and roll in their courses, by
Speaker 1: the book, whatever it was. And I recognized that podcasting
Speaker 1: is the best form of pr period. And when I say,
Speaker 1: when I recount the story, this sounds a lot more organized.
Speaker 1: It was not this linear. I think I just like
Speaker 1: had a bunch of ship in my head and then
Speaker 1: I went for it. Um And at the time, I
Speaker 1: was working for my mom, which is the next best
Speaker 1: thing to being my own boss, and I really wanted
Speaker 1: to get back to running my own thing, and so
Speaker 1: I had a media kit made up I wrote down
Speaker 1: in the beginning, I just started representing podcasters just because
Speaker 1: that was the space that I came from. I created
Speaker 1: myself spreadsheet of a thousand female podcasters and their emails.
Speaker 1: I emailed all a thousand and my Gmail got blocks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure people are like, who is this person? And
Speaker 1: you are incredible? This is amazing. Well, I wanted clients.
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't. I'm not you know, I
Speaker 1: shouldn't say delusional. It's really the wrong word. I believe
Speaker 1: that the it's a statistics game, like the more people
Speaker 1: I email, the more chances I have of creating a
Speaker 1: ten client roster in quitting my day job and being
Speaker 1: financially successful. So I just went at it and Google
Speaker 1: blocked me. My Gmail got you know, I was out
Speaker 1: of my Gmail for twenty four hours. So I started
Speaker 1: another Gmail account to keep emailing, and pretty soon I
Speaker 1: recognized that our services, which we book high profile guests
Speaker 1: if you have a podcast our bread and Butter, and
Speaker 1: what we're known for is that we get women as
Speaker 1: guests on podcasts and run really high profile tours for
Speaker 1: people like Rebecca Mink golf Saddler of Jessica's Wide, uh,
Speaker 1: Kelly Baker, Vanessa rossetto. So that's been kind of tours.
Speaker 1: What do you mean by tour? So we take women
Speaker 1: our clients and similar to if you were to write
Speaker 1: a book and go to ten cities and do a
Speaker 1: book tour, we do that, but we put them on
Speaker 1: a plethora of podcast So it's for the woman who
Speaker 1: really wants to get her brand and mission and voice
Speaker 1: out there through podcasting. So we'll organize a whole podcast
Speaker 1: tour for her where she well she'll go on out
Speaker 1: of podcast Yeah, okay, got it. That's really what we're
Speaker 1: known for. Um. And then we also do traditional pr
Speaker 1: as well. Okay, so you email a thousand people with podcasts?
Speaker 1: Are they all women? Are they all women podcasters? Mhmm? Email?
Speaker 1: Was I in that list? And initially or was I
Speaker 1: in like another round because I was like stoked to
Speaker 1: get hooked up with it. I don't know, I have
Speaker 1: to look into that you don't have to look into it.
Speaker 1: Don't worry, I don't really need Okay, so you email
Speaker 1: all these podcasters and then what do you tell them?
Speaker 1: Do you have clients yet to get on their podcasts
Speaker 1: or what are you saying once you get one on
Speaker 1: the hook. So the first client of mine with was
Speaker 1: Kathie Heller from Don't Keep Your Day Job, which is
Speaker 1: right out of the gate, a huge client. And for her,
Speaker 1: I was booking guests on her podcast and I was
Speaker 1: booking her as a guest on other podcasts. So that's
Speaker 1: your pitch. You're like, I will get you guests for
Speaker 1: your podcasts that are awesome, and I will also pitch
Speaker 1: you to go on other podcasts. Yes, having no idea
Speaker 1: if I could do this. By the way, UM, I
Speaker 1: don't come from an agency, don't know, pr never done
Speaker 1: pitching before. But here we go. Let's balls and you
Speaker 1: got drive and hustle and a vision and that's all
Speaker 1: it takes. That's all it takes. I mean, people, I
Speaker 1: think tend to over complicate industries. Um. I think that
Speaker 1: there's just so much that you can learn just by
Speaker 1: trial and error, if you're willing to get into the
Speaker 1: trial and error on comfortable zone. Yes, and put yourself
Speaker 1: out there and be rejected by guns. But then, but
Speaker 1: all you need is a few yes, is Yeah? All
Speaker 1: I need is a few yes? Is so? I think
Speaker 1: four months into starting I quit my day job. I
Speaker 1: was making more at the agency than it was at
Speaker 1: my day job. And six months in and I opened
Speaker 1: up the roster to representing not just podcasters, but female entrepreneurs, authors,
Speaker 1: brand up owners, et cetera. And hired my first employee
Speaker 1: six months in, and now here we are two and
Speaker 1: a half years later, with a team, including myself, of
Speaker 1: five amazing women. Are you so proud of yourself? I
Speaker 1: am so proud of me. I'm I cry a lot
Speaker 1: out of pride. And why I don't hesitate to say
Speaker 1: it soone apologetically, it's because I don't think we do
Speaker 1: that enough with women. I I truly looked around at
Speaker 1: my life and I'm in total and complete, utter off.
Speaker 1: I am so grateful. I cannot believe I did this,
Speaker 1: and I have so many goals for the future, and
Speaker 1: I love living in both of those spaces at the
Speaker 1: same time being grateful for the now and the excitement. Yeah,
Speaker 1: is that? And do you feel like that's been the
Speaker 1: best remedy and cure for dealing with bipolars. Just like
Speaker 1: the all this hope, you're doing exactly what your husband said.
Speaker 1: It's okay if you have most of depression as long
Speaker 1: as you have hope, and you always have hope. My
Speaker 1: hope turned into faith, turned into evidence that I could
Speaker 1: do things. I always have hope, and at this point
Speaker 1: in my life, I've just really accepted what I have
Speaker 1: to do to take care of my mental illness. I
Speaker 1: feel I haven't said this because I don't know if
Speaker 1: I can go back on it. Of course you can,
Speaker 1: but I feel as if the identity of being bipolar
Speaker 1: is slowly leaving me. I don't know if that is
Speaker 1: so true today. You know, I experienced a catatonic episode
Speaker 1: the other day and I was having really bad anxiety,
Speaker 1: And what does that mean? So Canatonia is something that
Speaker 1: people with bipolar very rarely experience. It's a symptom where
Speaker 1: if I'm too anxious or overwhelmed, or haven't slept enough
Speaker 1: for physically taking care of myself, my nervous system kind
Speaker 1: of fries out and I be um. My cognitive abilities
Speaker 1: really slow down. It's difficult for me to speak. Uh,
Speaker 1: sometimes I'll get paralyzed and I can't move, Like my
Speaker 1: motor skills really slow down. So even with experiencing low
Speaker 1: grade catatonia last week, you know, I've really just adopted
Speaker 1: the narrative that right now I'm just human and then
Speaker 1: I'm just experiencing the human emotions because I honor and
Speaker 1: revere them so much, and I understand that every time
Speaker 1: I have an emotional reaction to something, it's a lesson,
Speaker 1: it's a mentor, it's a guiding sign, it's a warning
Speaker 1: sign potentially. And I've developed such a secure relationship within
Speaker 1: my emotional experience that I'm no longer afraid of it.
Speaker 1: So that's huge. Yeah, one of the lessons in my
Speaker 1: book is all around feeling safe in your emotions, because
Speaker 1: once I realized that most of my suffering came from
Speaker 1: the fear of experiencing my emotions. Okay, so tell me
Speaker 1: that the fear of experience fear that they're gonna be
Speaker 1: so huge that they might like kill you or not
Speaker 1: like literally, but like that they might just like wipe
Speaker 1: you out. Yeah. So whenever I was in a depressive episode,
Speaker 1: my mom would say, it always passes, it always passes
Speaker 1: and I would look at her and I would say,
Speaker 1: but it comes back. I was just so focused and
Speaker 1: scared about impending next episode that was going to hit
Speaker 1: me and take me out. Was it going to ruin
Speaker 1: this internship that I was in? Was it going to
Speaker 1: ruin the trip to Paris I took with my family,
Speaker 1: which it did because I left a very fancy restaurant
Speaker 1: in complete tears and hyperventilating, Like my emotions ruined things
Speaker 1: for me. And I shouldn't say my emotions ruined things
Speaker 1: for me. I should say my reaction to my emotions
Speaker 1: ruined things for me. And so once I got to
Speaker 1: a point where I felt so safe in them, because
Speaker 1: I looked at the evidence of my life and that
Speaker 1: they've never actually permanently taken me out, They've never actually
Speaker 1: destroyed my life. I'm still here standing as a survivor
Speaker 1: of my emotions, which means that I will continue to
Speaker 1: take them and experience them and survive them. I was
Speaker 1: able to. I always say, like, you have anxiety, that's
Speaker 1: your base feeling right, and then you have anxiety about
Speaker 1: the anxiety you are suffering, like the pain is here,
Speaker 1: it's the anxiety, but the suffering is from the anxiety.
Speaker 1: About the anxiety, it's about the catastrophizing, it's about the resistance.
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel this right now? Why am
Speaker 1: I feeling this right now? Get this away from me.
Speaker 1: That actually heightens. It heightens and heightens and heightens the
Speaker 1: emotion to the point where you get so stuck and
Speaker 1: it's so difficult to get out of it. So every
Speaker 1: time I experienced anxiety, let's say, I stop what I'm doing,
Speaker 1: I put my hand on my heart and I sometimes
Speaker 1: out loud, sometimes in my mind, depending on where I am,
Speaker 1: I'll say, I hear you, thank you for visiting me
Speaker 1: right now. So you now view it as a teacher
Speaker 1: and something to get aid and guide you. That's there
Speaker 1: to protect you. Really, it's giving you signs, like you said, yeah,
Speaker 1: that either some things out of alignment, that I'm exiting
Speaker 1: my comfort zone. So it's trying to for text me
Speaker 1: and then I can say, I know you're really scared
Speaker 1: that I'm doing this thing, but I really got to
Speaker 1: do this thing, so get on board. You know. I
Speaker 1: assess if the emotion is trying to hold me back
Speaker 1: from pursuing something, because it's making me grow and grows
Speaker 1: is uncomfortable, or if it's saying, yeah, this isn't the
Speaker 1: right choice for you, of course, correct, please, So it
Speaker 1: gives you the chance to really examine, which is a
Speaker 1: huge blessing before going into something a new venture or
Speaker 1: a new situation like you really your emotions really put
Speaker 1: you in check to examine if this is actually a
Speaker 1: good thing for you. Yeah, incredibly you can view them
Speaker 1: this way. Yeah, I'll say, you know, whenever I talk
Speaker 1: to someone who's diagnosed with bipolar or depression or anything,
Speaker 1: I say, I just want you to know you're one
Speaker 1: of the lucky ones. Because I view myself as the
Speaker 1: most lucky that I have bipolar disorder. I will never
Speaker 1: wake up at the age of seventy and asked where
Speaker 1: my life went, because the minute I do something that
Speaker 1: isn't a total body yes, my disorder, my mental illness,
Speaker 1: my emotions will flare up so significantly that they will
Speaker 1: knock me out and I will not be able to continue.
Speaker 1: So I have the most amazing internal compass, and I'm
Speaker 1: talking it'll knock me out in a matter of two weeks.
Speaker 1: I will know in two weeks if something is not
Speaker 1: what I'm meant to be doing. And so in that way,
Speaker 1: I have decided to listen to them rather than to
Speaker 1: fight them, because they really really show me where to go. Doubt.
Speaker 1: This is like super profound and obviously I'm just listening
Speaker 1: to your story and all and like having thoughts. I
Speaker 1: don't know anything. I'm not medical in any sense. I
Speaker 1: don't every want to like have anything like that. But
Speaker 1: like to me, it's almost like your bipolar is just
Speaker 1: you being so in tune spiritually connected to yourself from
Speaker 1: such a young age that that which is okay, No,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this a long I do not want
Speaker 1: to be disrespectful to any of this, because, like, mental
Speaker 1: illness is a real thing. I actually just got on
Speaker 1: antidepressence myself, Like I like believe in all of it
Speaker 1: so much. But it's like yours is such a Yours
Speaker 1: is so loud, and you're you're that it has to
Speaker 1: have a disorder that people are afraid of because it's
Speaker 1: so intense. But really, when you listen to it and
Speaker 1: use it as your teacher, it is you are so
Speaker 1: in tune and you are so blessed to have this
Speaker 1: guidance that is so loud and so overwhelming that it
Speaker 1: will like shut you down if you're not living your
Speaker 1: life the way you should. That it's really a massive
Speaker 1: blessing when used correctly, like you're using it. But it's
Speaker 1: so hard to navigate those feelings that I'm sure, I'm
Speaker 1: sure so many people don't know how to use it
Speaker 1: as a bless because it is probably has taken you years,
Speaker 1: it has decades years to figure this out and finding
Speaker 1: your passionate entrepreneurship and finding your way. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: hard for a lot of people to get to your
Speaker 1: place done so much work. But really, you're your diagnosis
Speaker 1: is just such a blessing to keep you in alignment.
Speaker 1: And when you're in alignment, you're living the life you
Speaker 1: came here to live. So that's amazing. You hit it
Speaker 1: on the nail. I when you were talking, like, I
Speaker 1: kept interchanging bipolar with God while you were speaking to me,
Speaker 1: because I just think that the gifts that I've been given,
Speaker 1: you know, I was given this and then I chose
Speaker 1: to see it as a gift. And in that choice
Speaker 1: that I made, which anyone can make at any time
Speaker 1: in their life, I was able to receive such guidance,
Speaker 1: such guidance that I really never feel alone or I
Speaker 1: never questioned if something's right or not for me because
Speaker 1: I know I'll be told or I know that the
Speaker 1: truth will feel it the surface. Yeah, you'll feel it
Speaker 1: in your entire being from so and every ounce of
Speaker 1: your makeup. If it's not the right choice, you be
Speaker 1: lit mh. You are like a walking spiritual outlet. I mean,
Speaker 1: we all are spiritual beings, but like you were plugged
Speaker 1: in and now that you know that, I mean you
Speaker 1: literally that's it. I'm I mean, I'm I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: not jealous of your journey, but I am a little
Speaker 1: bit in all slash like positive jealousy of how in
Speaker 1: tune you are. I mean, that is such a blessing
Speaker 1: to be that aligned with God, and I know it
Speaker 1: has a huge other side that you've had to like navigate,
Speaker 1: but like now that you're here, that is just I'm
Speaker 1: literally like speaking, I can't even I've never had I've
Speaker 1: never I've never had a conversation this in depth of
Speaker 1: someone who's had bipolar and then like seeing how you
Speaker 1: have turned this into the way the blessing that it is,
Speaker 1: It's just everything can be a blessing, and it is
Speaker 1: a blessing. Everything is a blessing everything, Like I look
Speaker 1: at everything is you know, for example, take my book Lunch.
Speaker 1: I put so much resources into this time, energy, the
Speaker 1: most money I've ever put into anything, and like my
Speaker 1: attitude to show me what you've got, Like whatever happens
Speaker 1: that week is literally exactly what's supposed to happen. If
Speaker 1: I don't net positive financially, there's another blessing and gifts
Speaker 1: in this, in this whole experience if I don't hit
Speaker 1: certain goals that I've like loosely made for myself. And
Speaker 1: I don't even really want to make goals because I
Speaker 1: can't possibly think that I can dream up the right
Speaker 1: scenario for me. With all of this, I do the work.
Speaker 1: I'm on the podcast, I wrote the book, I'm marketing it.
Speaker 1: I'm putting my life into it and putting my money
Speaker 1: into it, and I'm showing up energetically. The response that
Speaker 1: I received from the world is so out of my control,
Speaker 1: and I know that whatever response I get is the
Speaker 1: exact response I'm supposed to and so like that. There's incredible.
Speaker 1: I love this scout. Thank you. There's a quote from
Speaker 1: a Course of Miracles which I haven't read, but someone
Speaker 1: told me this. They said that those who are certain
Speaker 1: of the outcome can afford to wait without worry. I
Speaker 1: think it's so bad. When I heard that, I was like, WHOA,
Speaker 1: what would I like again? So it's those who are
Speaker 1: certain of the outcome can afford to wait without worry
Speaker 1: because you know what you did had to be done.
Speaker 1: Your spirit told you this is your calling, this is
Speaker 1: your passion, your brain and your creativity put to put
Speaker 1: together the concept you've built it. How did you know
Speaker 1: that this book had to be written? How did you
Speaker 1: know it was time to write the Emotional Entrepreneur? And
Speaker 1: tell me what this book is all about. My first
Speaker 1: career goal ever since I was I think seven, was
Speaker 1: to write a book and being author. So that's always
Speaker 1: been my first career goal. And it's the only career
Speaker 1: goal that I've waited on, which I think is really
Speaker 1: interesting because usually when I want something, I jumped into it,
Speaker 1: and so I think there was something about me that
Speaker 1: understood that to write a book, you have to live
Speaker 1: a certain amount of experiences, or you have to spend
Speaker 1: a certain amount of time. You know, I'm time of nonfiction. Um,
Speaker 1: you have to come up with something that is so
Speaker 1: aligned and purposeful and valuable to you that you believe in.
Speaker 1: And so writing a book has always been on my
Speaker 1: to do list, and not in a way of like
Speaker 1: I kept putting it off, in a way that I
Speaker 1: just knew in the moment would be right. I get that.
Speaker 1: And you didn't want to rush it, you weren't. You
Speaker 1: had to wait for the timing, right, And you're right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I went into it really in the pandemic, which
Speaker 1: is when I got the idea that it was time.
Speaker 1: And I actually, to be honest, this is weird, but
Speaker 1: um the first week there was like this Instagram post
Speaker 1: that said, don't worry, you don't have to write the
Speaker 1: best selling novel at this time. You don't have to
Speaker 1: do this, and I was like, or I could like,
Speaker 1: or I could like, you know, don't don't shame me
Speaker 1: for wanting to do something during this time. And so
Speaker 1: I think that's really where the seed was with it.
Speaker 1: And then I went to UM. I hired Rhea from
Speaker 1: Right Way to help me with the book proposal in
Speaker 1: the outline and just really thinking of the messaging, and
Speaker 1: like every first time author, I went to her saying
Speaker 1: I wanted to be vignettes of my life a memoir,
Speaker 1: and she said, no, one wants to read your memoir.
Speaker 1: Memoirs are for when you are kind of more at
Speaker 1: the end of your career. And I said, okay, fine,
Speaker 1: So we really I started thinking about what my message
Speaker 1: really is here right now, and through the pandemic, I
Speaker 1: started really being open and vocal about my mental health
Speaker 1: because I recognized that a lot of people needed mental
Speaker 1: health support during that time. And I also recognized that
Speaker 1: there were so many women around me who wanted to
Speaker 1: start businesses, etcetera, but couldn't follow through on their dreams
Speaker 1: because of fear, because of a fear of failure, because
Speaker 1: of what risk feels like, anxiety, all these things. And
Speaker 1: I really recognize after being in business at that point
Speaker 1: for a year and a half of Scouts Agency, we
Speaker 1: hit six figure revenue in the first the second we
Speaker 1: were on track to overdub that um that the reason
Speaker 1: I was successful it was Scott's Agency wasn't because I
Speaker 1: knew how to manage clients, or because I knew how
Speaker 1: to do a piano, or because I knew even how
Speaker 1: to price my services. It was because I emotionally was
Speaker 1: resilient through every single challenge and had been around the
Speaker 1: block when it comes to kind of getting hit in
Speaker 1: the face with depression and anxiety. And so I wrote
Speaker 1: The Emotional Entrepreneur. It's lessons. Each lesson is a different
Speaker 1: emotional mindset tool that will help female entrepreneurs really chase
Speaker 1: after their dreams, whether it's starting a YouTube channel, a podcast,
Speaker 1: an agency, a product based business, whatever it is. And
Speaker 1: I to be honest, it poured out of me. I
Speaker 1: think I wrote it in like a month. I think
Speaker 1: I wrote a third of it in a weekend in
Speaker 1: Palm Springs. It poured out of me so significantly that
Speaker 1: I take credit for the book, But I also know
Speaker 1: something else was moving through me at the same time.
Speaker 1: And so it was. It was the easiest thing I've
Speaker 1: ever done. How did it feel? Once birth it? And
Speaker 1: once you had it all collected in these pages, It's
Speaker 1: poured your soul into it. You received the inspiration, you
Speaker 1: opened up your channel, let it flow, you wrote it down.
Speaker 1: It had been your life, your life's work of gathering
Speaker 1: these lessons, of gathering these tips, of gathering these tools
Speaker 1: to help yourself. That now you were putting them in
Speaker 1: a structured place, in in a in a time capsule
Speaker 1: that can that will be saved forever and given to
Speaker 1: the world and women to help others. Like what does
Speaker 1: that feel like? Because it's a lifetime of your work
Speaker 1: now and and just of your revelation and your life
Speaker 1: in this book. And that's probably why it was so
Speaker 1: easy too and divine, because you lived all this, like
Speaker 1: you of like this is like first hand hardcore. It's
Speaker 1: so interesting you say that. And I've been struggling with
Speaker 1: this a little bit because you know, we're recording this
Speaker 1: obviously before the lunch, and so I think my reaction
Speaker 1: will be different after the lunch, once it's in the
Speaker 1: wild and in people's hands. But I'm notorious for celebrating
Speaker 1: small wins, big wins, medium wins. I celebrate everything in
Speaker 1: my life, and this one has been so exciting as
Speaker 1: like the the event and the lunch and all the
Speaker 1: fancy stuff around it, but the actual book, like thinking
Speaker 1: about the fact that I wrote it, that I'm an author,
Speaker 1: that I'm like holding it in my hands. Let's see that,
Speaker 1: let me see it. It looks good, it's hard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the back, Donny. Yeah, I'll send you a box. Um.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to get my hands on this and
Speaker 1: read it. It's everything in my life has been hard,
Speaker 1: Like running Scouts agency is hard. It's awesome, but it's hard.
Speaker 1: A podcast with my sister can be hard at times.
Speaker 1: This was just not hard at all, and so, which
Speaker 1: is crazy because writing a book sounds hard. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: I don't even know how to celebrate it because I
Speaker 1: usually celebrate things that were difficult that I got through,
Speaker 1: and so this is like a really really big test.
Speaker 1: My next universal assignment right now is receiving. Can I
Speaker 1: just receive a celebration for the sake of something that
Speaker 1: was just my being? Like this book is just my being,
Speaker 1: and so I am proud of my life and where
Speaker 1: I've gotten to. But when it comes to like this product,
Speaker 1: I've actually felt the least amount of pride compared to
Speaker 1: other things because it was so easy to write. If
Speaker 1: that makes sense, so much sense, which I should probably
Speaker 1: explore that in my journal a little bit more. I
Speaker 1: love that you said my next controversal, okay, so tell
Speaker 1: me what you are spreading comes to your connection divine
Speaker 1: because I love all of that. Yeah. So I was raised.
Speaker 1: I am Jewish. I was raised in a Jewish private
Speaker 1: day schoolman. Whole life I did not know anybody. Nobody
Speaker 1: was in my phone that wasn't Jewish until I was eighteen,
Speaker 1: true story. Um. And so of course I grew up
Speaker 1: going to synagogue, high holidays, prying, we had today a classes,
Speaker 1: we read the Torah, etcetera. UM. But I think Judaism
Speaker 1: is an interesting religion in that it can be very
Speaker 1: cultural versus religious. And so my family was much more
Speaker 1: on the cultural side and the tradition side, just keeping
Speaker 1: up the traditions and the holidays, and it's about family.
Speaker 1: And so a connection with God wasn't super what's the
Speaker 1: word encouraged to be developed, you know, it was just
Speaker 1: like a thing that we prayed to God. But I
Speaker 1: never questioned what that meant or if I even believed
Speaker 1: it to be honest. I was like, this is what
Speaker 1: my great grandma said, my great grandma all the way back,
Speaker 1: and it's my role to carry on these traditions. And
Speaker 1: when my husband said that thing about hope, I didn't
Speaker 1: know where to turn. So I went to a depression
Speaker 1: anonymous support group which follows the twelve step program, and
Speaker 1: one of the first steps is to develop a relationship
Speaker 1: with the higher power of your understanding. And so I
Speaker 1: didn't even know what that looked like. I didn't know
Speaker 1: what it meant. I didn't know who God was for me.
Speaker 1: I didn't even have a relationship with God, divine source energy,
Speaker 1: and so I just started praying to God and it
Speaker 1: opened the door. At the age of twenty one, and
Speaker 1: then I started getting into more spiritual practices like acupuncture
Speaker 1: and cutting and Ricky and reading Gabby Bernstein, and I
Speaker 1: suppose subscribing to the more kind of just generalized spirituality,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't really until actually a year ago. I
Speaker 1: knew that I kind of belonged in a spiritual philosophy,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't until a year and a half a
Speaker 1: year ago that I developed such a strong relationship in
Speaker 1: God that it was almost like, should I tell everyone
Speaker 1: on Instagram that I believe in God now? Because it
Speaker 1: was so great. And I remember going upon Spring West
Speaker 1: and staying at a hotel and there was these two women,
Speaker 1: one my age and her mom, and for some reason
Speaker 1: I felt like talking to them, and the mother looked
Speaker 1: at me and I told her about my bipolar disorder.
Speaker 1: She was reading a book about praying for your husband,
Speaker 1: and she was she's a Christian, and I just wanted
Speaker 1: to be around her because she believed in God, and
Speaker 1: I didn't know who else to be around. And she
Speaker 1: looked at me and she said, God will cure your
Speaker 1: bipolar disorder. And I looked at her, and I think
Speaker 1: if someone had said that to me five years earlier
Speaker 1: and be like, you're nuts, um, But I let that
Speaker 1: be true. I said, what if that is true? Because
Speaker 1: human who said that you had it that you can't
Speaker 1: be cured? I mean, what right did they have to
Speaker 1: tell you what can happen? Yeah, So I started just
Speaker 1: relying and allowing God to support me. When I feel
Speaker 1: so overwhelmed by my my by my emotions, it's an
Speaker 1: immediate prayer time for me. Immediate I now so distinctly see.
Speaker 1: You know, it's so hard for me to talk about
Speaker 1: sometimes I feel like I'm really articulate and everything except
Speaker 1: my spiritual practice, because really it's in your head, it's
Speaker 1: in your It seems like magic. It feels like magic,
Speaker 1: like if I put this out and pray and surrender,
Speaker 1: I receive. And when you start believing in a higher
Speaker 1: power around your life, it's like you don't see coincidences anymore.
Speaker 1: Things just really really connect within And so you know,
Speaker 1: I have a friend I joined her Bible study every
Speaker 1: now and then. Like for me, it's just being in
Speaker 1: the presence of others who have a strong relationship to God.
Speaker 1: I find to be such an inspiring and strong energy
Speaker 1: to be in. I love that, And I love what
Speaker 1: you said about the connectedness, how things don't feel like coincidences.
Speaker 1: And I feel like I grew up Christian, but I
Speaker 1: had very open minded parents and mom top philosophy, so
Speaker 1: we were never like super locked into like it has
Speaker 1: to be this way and there's all these rules and
Speaker 1: all that stuff. Because that really turns me off, and
Speaker 1: I feel like I hate all the like this is
Speaker 1: how life has to be fire and brimstone. You don't
Speaker 1: do this, you're going to hell. Because I'm like it's
Speaker 1: the same way that I feel like diagnosing people are
Speaker 1: giving someone a title like yes, you can do all
Speaker 1: these things, but like anyone is capable to do anything
Speaker 1: that they that they want, and like these are just
Speaker 1: people coming up with their interpretation of religion based on
Speaker 1: what's been passed down to them or you know, and
Speaker 1: like I just think that, like like you're talking about,
Speaker 1: it is such a once you actually feel God in
Speaker 1: you and like figure out how to feel him on
Speaker 1: your own and you're not just like following the religious
Speaker 1: protocol that you've been taught. It's a game changer because
Speaker 1: it really and not I went on a spiritual quest.
Speaker 1: My whole life have been quest, but like really started
Speaker 1: diving into it and my like late twenty thirties and
Speaker 1: now like just like it's so and the same thing
Speaker 1: I got into Abraham Hicks and Gabby Burns. Like I
Speaker 1: was like watching Oprah, Super Sol Sundays all the time,
Speaker 1: and I was just like any place I could go
Speaker 1: to gather spiritual information, I would just go on this
Speaker 1: quest because it's so wide open and it feels so
Speaker 1: overwhelming in the beginning, but then you start to actually
Speaker 1: the connectingness of everyone and how it is magical and
Speaker 1: if you can stay in that positive headspace that there's
Speaker 1: this higher force working for you, it really like it's
Speaker 1: it's everything is magic. And like there was a there's
Speaker 1: a few years of my life where I was like
Speaker 1: hardcore into it and manifesting so positive. I mean, I
Speaker 1: have let life beat me down some and now I
Speaker 1: feel like I go through dips and ways and sometimes
Speaker 1: like I know I got to get back to that
Speaker 1: like awesome pure place of like believing and everything. But
Speaker 1: it's it's hard to stay there all the time. You
Speaker 1: have to have practices rituals yourself there because life can
Speaker 1: take you back down just to the day to day grund.
Speaker 1: But like, it is such a difference between like feeling
Speaker 1: God and spirituality and just like knowing what you've been taught. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when you feel God, it's a different experience, and for
Speaker 1: me it's been I had such a spiritual awakening that
Speaker 1: I was kind of like in the Airy Ferry University,
Speaker 1: like really not grounded zone, which is a cool place
Speaker 1: to be. It's a cool place to be, and it
Speaker 1: can get a little like crippy and a little a
Speaker 1: little destabilizing, a little oh what's happening? And I realized
Speaker 1: that you know, as much as that exists, and that's
Speaker 1: fun to be in, and it's fun to be in
Speaker 1: the metaphysical and the miracles and all of that stuff.
Speaker 1: I also recognize that I'm a human being and my
Speaker 1: soul was put here on earth for a reason, and
Speaker 1: so for me to not live here in the physical world,
Speaker 1: for me to not be grounded and my human experience
Speaker 1: not just my spiritual experience would be a shame for
Speaker 1: this lifetime. And so whenever I get a little too spiritual,
Speaker 1: I really go back down to my soul and remind
Speaker 1: myself that I stull decided to be here on earth
Speaker 1: for a reason, and so I need to look around
Speaker 1: at the earth surroundings, that my three D surroundings, my
Speaker 1: physical surroundings, and be you know, taking care of my body.
Speaker 1: Just it helps me ground a little bit when things
Speaker 1: can get a little crazy expansive, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: That makes perfect sense, and I totally understand. I think
Speaker 1: that you put into words maybe what happened to me
Speaker 1: and like because like they're like like I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: they're was like two years where I feel like I
Speaker 1: was snapping my fingers, magic was happening and I was
Speaker 1: so in tune to God and like I was so
Speaker 1: light positive and like floating and everything was just in
Speaker 1: a cloud. But it was like it's important. I enjoyed
Speaker 1: having that season because it's so nice connect that intensely
Speaker 1: to your spiritual side and like float in that. But
Speaker 1: then life does we are here, like you said, I
Speaker 1: love the way you put that, and then it's like
Speaker 1: finding that balance of like staying connected and being grounded. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Alyssa Romeo, I think that's her name. I wrote the
Speaker 1: book Me Meet Your Soul, and she said that sometimes
Speaker 1: spiritual people live in spirit too much and they don't
Speaker 1: remember that they have a soul here, and so I
Speaker 1: always try to be a soul with spiritual guidance. I
Speaker 1: think it's like the way I view it, like I'm
Speaker 1: here and I have the wisdom of everything up here
Speaker 1: to help me in this experience. But you're turning into
Speaker 1: a real life do room. Um? I mean you really are.
Speaker 1: You're really like you're really like covering some round herself,
Speaker 1: like you've got a lot to offer the world. Thank you,
Speaker 1: I really I really appreciate it. I I this interview
Speaker 1: has really allowed me to see that in a short
Speaker 1: period of time. So I thank you for that gift,
Speaker 1: specifically because you I think acknowledged and seeing things that
Speaker 1: I've thought about, but hearing somebody else put it into
Speaker 1: words and reflecting back my experience is very validating. So happy.
Speaker 1: That makes me feel so validated that I can help
Speaker 1: you see that because I'm always so inspired and you'll
Speaker 1: probably feel this way about your podcast. You have a
Speaker 1: lot of incredible women I am. I started my podcast
Speaker 1: four years ago because I I've never I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: not like really depressed, but I have always struggled with
Speaker 1: antecurity and like a bouts of I don't even know
Speaker 1: if depressure this the word, but like just like I
Speaker 1: get overwhelmed with hadness and feeling and hope of feelings
Speaker 1: and hopelessness, and like I was never like anything hardcore,
Speaker 1: but like moments of just being like rocked to the
Speaker 1: core by my feelings lost, I feel of the world.
Speaker 1: I get overwhelmed by suffering the world I get. I
Speaker 1: just like my feelings completely overwhelmed me, but I can
Speaker 1: still function through them, and it's not like debilitating her,
Speaker 1: but it is in my mind at the point. So
Speaker 1: I always just felt like other people had everything more
Speaker 1: figured out and that everyone was better and more special,
Speaker 1: because I was always like I'm a hot mess. If
Speaker 1: anyone actually gets to know me all the way, they're
Speaker 1: going to realize I'm a total imposter. And then I
Speaker 1: don't have anything figured out in my head and I'm
Speaker 1: a total ship show, and like everything's just like an
Speaker 1: emotional emotional mess out here for me. But like I
Speaker 1: could like put it together and present it in a
Speaker 1: way that looks like I was cool had you know,
Speaker 1: like hey, but really I just was like be so insecure.
Speaker 1: And so I kind of started this podcast because I
Speaker 1: knew a lot of people and I had been in
Speaker 1: the entertainment and I had tons of connections to interest people.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm just and I was at
Speaker 1: a very low point in my life in my career life.
Speaker 1: My music career had just fallen apart, and I felt
Speaker 1: like I was just this loser on the planet. And
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I'm just had a friends start
Speaker 1: a podcast, you know, all these incredible people to start
Speaker 1: a podcast, and I just went full force and I
Speaker 1: realized and I got like my first interview was Darius Rucker,
Speaker 1: he lead singer of Fooding in the Bluefish now his
Speaker 1: huge country star, And like I had all all these people.
Speaker 1: I just like kind of like how you started? Like
Speaker 1: I was able to like access all these incredible people,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, how is this happening? Like don't they
Speaker 1: know that I'm a total fraud and that this is
Speaker 1: like a total I don't know what I'm doing and
Speaker 1: I'm like scrambling on a hamster wheel and like I
Speaker 1: have no idea how to even I'm not qualified, like
Speaker 1: all this stuff. My my my critic was just like
Speaker 1: screaming at me. But then like I got to know
Speaker 1: people that I put on pedestals and story everyone felt
Speaker 1: like it's everyone has felt like a total loser. Everyone
Speaker 1: has had bouts of moments where they are so lost
Speaker 1: that they feel and some people have had intense trauma
Speaker 1: and like tons of abuse, like mentally, physically, sexually, all
Speaker 1: of it. Like some people have overcome so much and
Speaker 1: the light like yourself, like overcoming what you've overcome, is
Speaker 1: like the stories that they have and the life that
Speaker 1: they have that they're living in spite of what was
Speaker 1: pulling them down now is a huge blessing in their
Speaker 1: life and it's a part of who they are and
Speaker 1: there's it's turned their life into something spectacular because of
Speaker 1: what felt earth shattering at the time. And that has
Speaker 1: just freed me so much. And so getting to talk
Speaker 1: to women like you who have done that, who have
Speaker 1: had something that felt so crippling and debilitating for you,
Speaker 1: but you have witched it around and found your purpose
Speaker 1: with it, and now you use it to your highest
Speaker 1: good and it is like blessing the world that to
Speaker 1: me is everything and it gives me so much hope
Speaker 1: for life because I feel like everyone has ability to
Speaker 1: do that. It does take a lot of work and
Speaker 1: a lot of pain to go through, but but if
Speaker 1: you do it, then you get to the other side,
Speaker 1: like you, And how what if you wouldn't have gone
Speaker 1: through all the work to get here, you wouldn't be
Speaker 1: living this life that you're obsessed with now. And yes,
Speaker 1: you still have moments where you have to deal with things,
Speaker 1: but like you appreciate them now in a different way
Speaker 1: and you're not scared of scared of your emotions. But like,
Speaker 1: if you hadn't gone through everything you went and got
Speaker 1: to the other side, you wouldn't be living this life
Speaker 1: of magic that you're living. And what a shame would
Speaker 1: that have been to miss this? I write basically that
Speaker 1: exact sentiment in my book because I think that a
Speaker 1: lot of us are afraid to move through that discomfort,
Speaker 1: through that imposter syndrome, throughs insecurities towards healing and it
Speaker 1: chapter in my book I talked about fear, and I
Speaker 1: asked the question, what has fear already robbed you from
Speaker 1: in your own life, Like all of this wouldn't be
Speaker 1: you know, you, your podcast wouldn't be here if you
Speaker 1: decided to say yes to fear and insecurity and playing small,
Speaker 1: and all of these conversations that you've had with people
Speaker 1: wouldn't exist, not only for yourself, but for the thousands
Speaker 1: of people listened. Like, imagine the ripple of fact from
Speaker 1: the decision that you made to act despite of your insecurities.
Speaker 1: And I think I think about that now because when
Speaker 1: I started it, it was just me and my own
Speaker 1: little bubble trying to do something that I felt like
Speaker 1: my heart wanted to do, but not feeling like I
Speaker 1: was qualified. And now, like, I know how I have
Speaker 1: been so blessed by these stories. But now I view
Speaker 1: it exactly what you're saying, Like, I now know I
Speaker 1: have an outlet that really blesses others and it's not
Speaker 1: about me and my insecurities and moving through that and
Speaker 1: having it having the validation for myself. It's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is actually something that is helpful, you know, And
Speaker 1: I have the ability to give gifts that to the
Speaker 1: world because it's a gift that I have, like you
Speaker 1: have these gifts, and like, once you can see it
Speaker 1: in that way. It's so powerful and like the fear
Speaker 1: has actually gone now because I know, like this conversation
Speaker 1: that we're having is going to be so powerful for
Speaker 1: so many people because what you have walked through. The
Speaker 1: women especially need to hear this. No. Yeah, it's sometimes
Speaker 1: I get caught up ensure you can relate in podcast
Speaker 1: interviews because it's just the two of us right now,
Speaker 1: right it feels so intimate, like no one's ever going
Speaker 1: to listen to this thing, and there's no way for
Speaker 1: us to ever value the impact that this conversation will
Speaker 1: have on the world. You know, I was thinking Scouts Agency.
Speaker 1: In the last two and a half years, we've looked
Speaker 1: over six hundred podcast episodes, meaning we facilitated women telling
Speaker 1: over six hundred impactful stories. Imagining the ripple effect of
Speaker 1: that is huge, which is why I love the podcasting medium,
Speaker 1: because it's just it takes this intimacy, it takes our lives,
Speaker 1: it takes our insecurities or challenges or success says our pride,
Speaker 1: and it just amplifies it to a large audience of
Speaker 1: people who can relate to it. And the other thing
Speaker 1: I was like thinking, like, in what world can I
Speaker 1: just listen to Matthew McConaughey talked to Dak Shepherd, like
Speaker 1: what world other than this one? That is so true?
Speaker 1: And you know what, I think part of the bed
Speaker 1: of podcasts is like this does it is just you
Speaker 1: and now this is a private conversation for you and
Speaker 1: me right now. If we never hit then to the
Speaker 1: you never put it out there, no one would ever
Speaker 1: hear this. But so we are having a very personal conversation.
Speaker 1: But because it's a podcast, there's a reason to have
Speaker 1: this conversation. There's a point to it, and then we
Speaker 1: share it with the world. But I think the intimation
Speaker 1: of it being in a private space where it's just
Speaker 1: you and me, it allows us to actually feel like
Speaker 1: it's just as so we have a real conversation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I I forgot until we started talking about the impact.
Speaker 1: I always forget, Like I always forget every podcast. I'm like, oh, right,
Speaker 1: that goes out and you know, for better for worse,
Speaker 1: Like who knows what I'm talking about with my sister
Speaker 1: on Okay SAT talking about circumcision. Oh god, It's like
Speaker 1: I always tell my sister, you know, I I don't
Speaker 1: know podcast episode with her five minutes we talked about
Speaker 1: uncircumcised penis penises, and then forty five minutes we talk
Speaker 1: about how, you know, people in their twenties field this
Speaker 1: immense pressure to be something and how we need to
Speaker 1: be gentle on ourselves. And I'm like feeling all this
Speaker 1: ship and what is my sister put on TikTok? Not
Speaker 1: me in my element? No, no, no, but me talking
Speaker 1: about the uncircumcised penises. So you know, you, Betta, you
Speaker 1: gotta keep it well rounded, for better or for worse, truly,
Speaker 1: Oh scout, Okay, So tell me what your desire is book,
Speaker 1: not like sales or anything like that, not like not
Speaker 1: like not like marks on a four card for like
Speaker 1: what it's gonna do? You know what I'm talking about? Like,
Speaker 1: what is your goal for this book? Spiritually soulful? My
Speaker 1: goal is that the book helps women feel safe in
Speaker 1: their emotions so that they can do that exact thing
Speaker 1: that you did, which was pushed through despite fear, insecurities
Speaker 1: and imposter syndrome. It's really I hope a dose of
Speaker 1: emotional courage for everybody, and I think just an equalizer
Speaker 1: and that we all experience these emotional roadblocks in our lives.
Speaker 1: I want the book to create a new narrative that
Speaker 1: if we develop a beautiful relationship with our emotions, and
Speaker 1: if we allow ourselves to feel safe within them, we
Speaker 1: can create the life that we want. All of those
Speaker 1: things that we see that we didn't do this year
Speaker 1: that we wanted to is because our emotions held us back.
Speaker 1: And so instead of allowing our emotions to hold us back,
Speaker 1: actually viewing them differently and propelling them forward. So I
Speaker 1: suppose my biggest thing is that I want to inspire
Speaker 1: action within women to take control over their lives or
Speaker 1: to finally do the thing want or to at least
Speaker 1: feel safe in taking risks and getting out of their
Speaker 1: comfort zone. Bigger, kind of more tangible goals would be
Speaker 1: to create a community of women who are interested in
Speaker 1: this exact, exact, very specific thing, which is emotional strength,
Speaker 1: emotional intelligence within entrepreneurship or building a you know, a
Speaker 1: purposeful or dream life, etcetera. So to create some sort
Speaker 1: of a hub, whether it's like really honestly like, I
Speaker 1: have so many ideas, right, I want to create an
Speaker 1: emotional entrepreneur academy for women to walk through these lessons
Speaker 1: with me. I want to create masterminds conferences, whatever, and like,
Speaker 1: I know what the women who read my book, they
Speaker 1: will tell me what to do next, They will tell
Speaker 1: me what they need next. And so for me, it's
Speaker 1: just being it's just being okay or accepting the assignment,
Speaker 1: which is whatever the community needs is where I will
Speaker 1: take this next, where I will take this movement next.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's so freeing because I don't need to
Speaker 1: be in control of this, Like this isn't about me,
Speaker 1: it's I've been chosen to maybe write the lessons and
Speaker 1: get it out there and do all the masculine doing, doing, being, being, creating,
Speaker 1: and then whatever the universe needs from these messaging is
Speaker 1: what I will show up to do. Oh I love
Speaker 1: that so much. I love that. I feel like I
Speaker 1: try to live that way. I've never put that in words,
Speaker 1: but like, but like I feel and I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm always a hot mess express so like I'm always
Speaker 1: like but like in my gut and heart, that's how
Speaker 1: I feel like I want to live too, because, like
Speaker 1: you said, with this book, you can write all these
Speaker 1: goals of what you want to happen. Like I wanted
Speaker 1: to be a best seller, I wanted to be on
Speaker 1: Oprah supersool Sunday. I wanted to be whatever, but like
Speaker 1: you don't know, there's no way you can know where
Speaker 1: this book is going to go. It could go anywhere,
Speaker 1: and so all you can do is answer the call
Speaker 1: that's been put on your heart and that your community
Speaker 1: is asking. That's amazing, and then you give it up
Speaker 1: and let the universe in the force take it. You know,
Speaker 1: I've been in my masculine for so long, that's yeah,
Speaker 1: like okay to write that down, like doing creating action
Speaker 1: steps like DODA and more and more and more and
Speaker 1: more and more and more, and the masculine interview that
Speaker 1: makes sense. And so I have never really superban in
Speaker 1: my feminine when it comes to business, and I don't
Speaker 1: think I can be quite in my feminine with my agency.
Speaker 1: But my book has a different energy to it. And
Speaker 1: so you know, I'm as we're recording this a week
Speaker 1: and half away from book launch, technically this should be
Speaker 1: a very stressful time in my life. And I've decided
Speaker 1: to end work early every single day for the next
Speaker 1: week and a half because I am going to enjoy
Speaker 1: this through the ends. Degree I have done what I
Speaker 1: can and right now I am just going to sit back,
Speaker 1: and receive. I was actually thinking this kind of sounds weird.
Speaker 1: I am to this out loud. I was thinking about
Speaker 1: doing like a into ceremony with myself where I just
Speaker 1: surrender the outcome of this book launch to God and
Speaker 1: I almost like, I almost like seduce life to being
Speaker 1: even more expansive for me through this experience. Okay, how
Speaker 1: are you going to do the ceremony? I want to learn?
Speaker 1: I don't know, because I don't know who does this.
Speaker 1: I was thinking of like putting on really feminine music.
Speaker 1: I think, like using my body and dancing and writing
Speaker 1: a letter and maybe doing some prayer. You know, it
Speaker 1: could be a five minute thing, but just to really
Speaker 1: get in touch with my femininity and my ability to
Speaker 1: receive and my trust in all of this. I don't
Speaker 1: know if that sounds ridiculously rubal, but it came through
Speaker 1: for me. I love that. Yeah, I love that. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna remember that. I'll tell you what I end
Speaker 1: up doing. I mean yeah, and maybe like that becomes
Speaker 1: one of your next things that you share. What would
Speaker 1: you tell your fourteen year old self at night I
Speaker 1: just had the first bout with depression. Your nightself, you
Speaker 1: got diagnosed. People ask me this question, and I maybe
Speaker 1: I take it too literally. I probably wouldn't tell them
Speaker 1: anything like just keep walking into the fire, girl, you'll
Speaker 1: get burned enough. You still need to get burned, you
Speaker 1: still you need more. That wasn't enough, Clearly, keep going
Speaker 1: for another few years. Literally if that's where if I
Speaker 1: was time traveling to them, that's what I would say
Speaker 1: metaphorically for the lessons, I would say that you're going
Speaker 1: to be really proud of yourself one day. That's all
Speaker 1: I could say. What do you want to tell someone
Speaker 1: who feels like you can because you are. You're in
Speaker 1: it right now, and if you say you can't, you're
Speaker 1: lying because you just said you can't, which means you're
Speaker 1: in it, which means that you're surviving. And if you're
Speaker 1: still listening to this, you're still surviving. And in five
Speaker 1: more seconds, you will still survive. And so the idea
Speaker 1: that you can't walk through the fire is a limiting belief.
Speaker 1: You just haven't accepted that through the fire is your
Speaker 1: purpose and beauty and wisdom. And so once you accept that,
Speaker 1: you will walk through a lot faster. But the idea
Speaker 1: that you can't is false because you are what's the
Speaker 1: first step who at that break? Breaking points are so
Speaker 1: hard and so individualized and custom for every single person.
Speaker 1: I really would just say to infuse hope. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: tell them to do anything differently. If you're listening, Like
Speaker 1: if you're in a really bad depressive episode or in
Speaker 1: a really low phase in your life and you've become
Speaker 1: addicted and used to those low feelings, if you try
Speaker 1: to do something about it, sometimes it threatens the depression.
Speaker 1: And so I'm not here to threaten your comfort zone.
Speaker 1: We're not here to do that. We're here to add in,
Speaker 1: we're not here to take away. So what would your
Speaker 1: life look like if right now you decided to add
Speaker 1: in hope? That's it to start there. See, we're adding
Speaker 1: in that type of an emotion and feeling into that process.
Speaker 1: How it changes things within small it's a small step,
Speaker 1: totally doable for any the little hope. Where can you
Speaker 1: add in hope? Yeah? Because I think if you told
Speaker 1: me when I was at my debts, like Okay, we're
Speaker 1: going to have a two hour morning routine, and we're
Speaker 1: going to eat right, and we're going to gratitude and
Speaker 1: we're going to do all these things. I think I
Speaker 1: beat you overwhelmed because it's you're threatening the foundation, You're
Speaker 1: threatening my life, You're threatening my habits too much. It's
Speaker 1: too much, it's too much of a shock to the system.
Speaker 1: So don't don't change anything, don't take anything away, just
Speaker 1: add in hope. That's amazing. Yeah, I have thoroughly loved
Speaker 1: this conversation with you so much. I'm so happy to
Speaker 1: get to chat with you. I mean, like we said,
Speaker 1: we've been a communication now for years, and you've brought
Speaker 1: me so many amazing guests. Every time I get an
Speaker 1: email from you or one of your amazing women that
Speaker 1: work with you, I'm always like WHOA. And I always
Speaker 1: loved to interview all the women that you present to me.
Speaker 1: It's been a true blessing. So thank you for bringing
Speaker 1: me into your realm, and thank you for this conversation
Speaker 1: and sharing your heart and your vulnerability and your gifts
Speaker 1: and how you have just used your life in a
Speaker 1: spectacular way. And I always end would leave your life
Speaker 1: super opening. The question, but what do you that they're
Speaker 1: safe in their emotions? Your book comes out next week?
Speaker 1: What's the exact day? The book comes out on August
Speaker 1: the Monday, So you can get it on Amazon, Emotional
Speaker 1: the Emotional Entrepreneurs Scouts sobel um or you can follow
Speaker 1: me on Instagram at Scott Sobel. I will have the
Speaker 1: link to purchase in my bio and i'll get you
Speaker 1: the link for the show notes all the things. How incredible, Scout.
Speaker 1: You're such an inspiration. Your story is so inspiring, and
Speaker 1: not only has it inspired me, but I know everyone expired,
Speaker 1: everyone that you can uch. Thank you for sharing and
Speaker 1: being vulnerable, because, like we've said in this it's hard
Speaker 1: care like this, But now that you have gotten to
Speaker 1: the other side, you're blessing so many with your story.
Speaker 1: So thank you sharing. And I cannot wait to get
Speaker 1: your book and just to read these hips and techniques
Speaker 1: that you have assessed throughout your life and put them
Speaker 1: in written form. What a beautiful pleasure. Thank you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's wild. It's it's exciting and wild and definitely
Speaker 1: a vulnerability hangover for sure, I know, but you know
Speaker 1: what I shouldn't. That's what life, that's what we're here for.
Speaker 1: Their only here for the vulnerable. I mean that's right. Well,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you coming on and I'm just so excited
Speaker 1: for you. Thank you I'm so excited. All Right, okay
Speaker 1: by scout by, talk to you soon.