1 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Andy and Samantha, and welcome to stuff. 2 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:18,759 Speaker 1: I never told your production of I Heart Radio A 3 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: lot of us might be experiencing some anxiety during this time, 4 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: this time that is changing very rapidly, with a lot 5 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:32,840 Speaker 1: of uncertainty, a lot of us staying in for very 6 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: long periods of time. And I I've definitely felt it myself, 7 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: some some anxiety. And because of that, we thought we 8 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: would bring back classic episode on anxious women and why 9 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 1: they are twice as likely to experience chronic anxiety. And 10 00:00:56,600 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: I'll be interested when we fingers get out of this 11 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: if there's gonna be if we're gonna have data all 12 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:09,039 Speaker 1: right on who has impacted the most um physically, mentally, 13 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:16,000 Speaker 1: um economically, socially, all those things. I honestly don't know. 14 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: I don't write. There's a lot of things that we 15 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,200 Speaker 1: are really kind of anxious. I guess this is the 16 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: best word for it. About as we are watching our 17 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 1: leaders and our government, we're just watching people hoping that 18 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: someone is going to get some enlightening answers and results 19 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: the time of frame, and especially for again, as you're 20 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,960 Speaker 1: talking about the economy as well, and not only that, 21 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 1: for many people who have lost their jobs. And then 22 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 1: for many people who shouldn't have to work because they 23 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 1: don't have enough healthcare coverage, but they are having to work, 24 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 1: whether it's at the grocery store, whether it's being restocking 25 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: stuff or delivering things. That's just a lot of things 26 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: that are out there for sure. Yeah. And if you 27 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: if you feel like you're struggling and you have anxiety, Uh, 28 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 1: we were doing our best to help in any way 29 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: that we can by continuing to to put out episodes 30 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:16,079 Speaker 1: and even more episodes even um. And then this one 31 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: interesting impact on me specifically is it made me face 32 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: something else that used to make me anxious, which is 33 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: social media. So if you want to check out I've 34 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,360 Speaker 1: been posting a lot of goofy videos. I did a 35 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 1: tour of my apartment. You can do that. Like, UM, 36 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: I feel there are ways to make human connection virtually. 37 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 1: There's just a lot of I'm excited for the party 38 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: you watch on Netflix. I got friends on like Switch 39 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 1: that we're playing together. Um. People are really creative and 40 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: I know you listeners are as well. And will we 41 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:54,679 Speaker 1: can find ways to to make this a less anxiety 42 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 1: inducing times. Um, and then sometimes it will abbs and flows, 43 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:04,359 Speaker 1: but just remember we're here with you in this together. 44 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 1: We are in the meantime. Please enjoy this classic episode. 45 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff. Mom never told you from how stuff 46 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 1: works not come hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm 47 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: Kristen and I'm Caroline, and today we're going to talk 48 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 1: about anxiety. Deep breath, yes, deep breath. Maybe close your 49 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: eyes if you need to yourself focus on a positive mantra. Yeah, 50 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 1: maybe lie down you need to, We won't judge. You. 51 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: Find a soft pillow and rest your head against it, 52 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: or squeeze it for dear life. Yeah, like Elmira and pets. 53 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 1: Just squeeze because you love it so much. Yeah, anxiety 54 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: is a topic near and dear to my brain. I 55 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: shouldn't say dear to my brain. My brain hates it 56 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: and it's constantly I like by it. I feel like 57 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: Carolina should go ahead and have a moment of transparency 58 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 1: and let people know I have generalized anxiety disorder. When 59 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 1: were you diagnosed with that? Probably last year when I 60 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 1: really got into therapy for real, zies, Because instead of 61 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: just to play poker with your therapy, yeah, instead of 62 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: just doing it just for the cachet of saying I 63 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: have a therapist look at me. Um. Yeah, I mean, 64 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 1: like things kind of hit a point where, especially with 65 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 1: I think turning thirty, getting engaged to be married, all 66 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 1: of these like big life things happening that made me 67 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: take a bit of a step back, and I want 68 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: to dig into patterns you know, that I didn't want 69 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: to carry with me into the rest of my thirties 70 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:57,279 Speaker 1: and marriage sounds smart. Yeah, I mean, had you struggled 71 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 1: with anxiety your whole Oh yeah, definitely all my life. Um. 72 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 1: And the more I learned about it, the more astounding 73 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:13,799 Speaker 1: it is how those patterns really took root at such 74 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 1: young ages, you know, just like coping mechanisms that you develop, 75 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:23,039 Speaker 1: and how even though I feel like I am very 76 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,359 Speaker 1: different than the person that I was obviously when I 77 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: was like ten or twelve or a teenager, even in 78 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: my early twenties, still those same patterns of just dealing 79 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: with day to day life. Um, they hang around. Yeah. Now, 80 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 1: I definitely struggle with anxiety. I haven't received any sort 81 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: of diagnosis. I'm also in therapy, but I do just 82 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: say it for the cachet. It's true. It's like my therapist, 83 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: this my therapist that she doesn't exist. I really just 84 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 1: go sit at a McDonald's for an hour a day. 85 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: Well now it's breakfast all day, so I never got 86 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,279 Speaker 1: so many egg mcmuffins. But you know, um, you know, 87 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: in our couple Speak episode, we we touched on the 88 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: idea of peaks and valleys in a relationship. And when 89 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I were working on some issues in 90 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: our relationship together, UM, I started having uh like low 91 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: grade I wouldn't say that they were totally debilitating, but 92 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,280 Speaker 1: like low grade panic attacks, if you want to call 93 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 1: them that. And I've noticed that ever since then. Even 94 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: basic stuff that stresses you out, like somebody cuts you 95 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,800 Speaker 1: off in traffic, or like you're trying to prepare to 96 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: record two podcasts or something really basic things now lead 97 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: to like an elevated anxiety level. And I don't just 98 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,239 Speaker 1: mean like you're stressed out, maybe you're sweating a little 99 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,920 Speaker 1: the full on, like I can't get a deep breath, 100 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: I feel like my chest is caving in, there's so 101 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,840 Speaker 1: much pressure on my head. Like all of these sort 102 00:06:55,839 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: of hallmark anxiety symptoms are more likely to crop up, 103 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:05,039 Speaker 1: and I have a feeling it's so common for it 104 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: to take something like a panic attack, low grade, high 105 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 1: grade whatever, because that was a similar experience that I had. 106 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 1: Um something like that happened to me that really got 107 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,840 Speaker 1: my attention, Like there were so many red flags. My 108 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: brain was just finally waving that get us to take 109 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: care of these things that we've just been managing in 110 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: our in our own you know, very bladed kinds of ways, 111 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: not that it's not okay to be flawed, but I 112 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: should say maybe dysfunctional kinds of ways. Yeah, And I 113 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: mean I think what keeps a lot of people not 114 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 1: being a psychologist, but I think in doing reading about 115 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: this topic, what stops a lot of people from getting 116 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: help for anxiety is that for a lot of people, 117 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: it's just a baseline state, like I'm just anxious and neurotic, 118 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,360 Speaker 1: and I can play it off as funny and like 119 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 1: I'm a Woody Allen character or something, but it really 120 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 1: really can be debilitating. I mean, if you're having a 121 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: panic attack, like every time you burn dinner or something, 122 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: you know, like that's not exactly healthy. And so those 123 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 1: are some good red flags, like you said, to actually 124 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: talk to somebody, get help. Maybe you don't need medicine, 125 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: maybe you need therapy, maybe you do need medicine. There's 126 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 1: a whole range of things that that you can do 127 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 1: to help improve your life once you realize, like I 128 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,520 Speaker 1: am super struggling with anxiety. Yeah, And I also feel 129 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: like it's something that we are talking about more and more, 130 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 1: not just you and me, but we do talk about 131 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: our respective anxieties together, which I think is really helpful. 132 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: But even just among other girlfriends of mine or just 133 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 1: the female conversations that are happening online, I feel like 134 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,599 Speaker 1: I just see it more and more of women acknowledging 135 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 1: that this is something that they deal with, whether it 136 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 1: is a more clinical kind of thing or whether it 137 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: is just the general anxiousness, nervousness, however you want to 138 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 1: describe it. And I think it's it's really interesting that 139 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 1: this is happening. And some people think that there is 140 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 1: almost a millennial anxiety epidemic of foot, which is usually 141 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: blamed on technology, social media, um work life being completely 142 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,160 Speaker 1: imbalanced because they are now blended and they are one 143 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,199 Speaker 1: and the same and so forth. Yeah, we see a 144 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 1: lot of those environmental reasons bandied about when we talk 145 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 1: about why people seem to be struggling more with anxiety. 146 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: And then you see them magnified when people talk about women, 147 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 1: and they all always cite the wage gap, having to 148 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: look beautiful and young all the time, like all of 149 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,719 Speaker 1: these things that are specific to women. But what we'll 150 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: get into more in this conversation is that it's that 151 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: could be a part of it, Like everybody's got pressures 152 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,439 Speaker 1: in their life, but there's also a bit of of 153 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 1: nature to contend with. Two. Yeah, because a statistic that 154 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: we will repeat a number of times in this episode 155 00:09:55,800 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 1: is that women are twice as likely to report anxiety. 156 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:05,319 Speaker 1: And we've talked about this before on the podcast. In fact, 157 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 1: I had even forgotten Caroline that we had done an 158 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:14,439 Speaker 1: anxiety related episode a while back, because that's what happens 159 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 1: when you've made over seven podcasts, when you forget sometimes. 160 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 1: Um But it seems so so current and so relevant 161 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:25,560 Speaker 1: to to right now, because there is still this question 162 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:30,520 Speaker 1: mark of why are women in particular so anxious? And 163 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:35,840 Speaker 1: are we really all that anxious? So first, let's just 164 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: do some anxiety one oh one. This is coming from 165 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 1: the National Institutes of Health UM and and it's important 166 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:49,559 Speaker 1: to distinguish what's normal and what's abnormal, because temporary anxiety 167 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 1: hyper vigilance and even fear. It's completely normal. It's port 168 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: of just being a human. Yeah, But the thing that's 169 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:01,040 Speaker 1: not normal is when all of that stuff sticks around, 170 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 1: so long term anxiety that looms and ends up diminishing 171 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: and interfering in your quality of life. So let's get 172 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 1: more specific than about that dysfunctional long term anxiety. It 173 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,079 Speaker 1: has to do more with the inability to focus away 174 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 1: from concerns despite rationally understanding that your reaction to this 175 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 1: thing is way bigger than the thing itself. And Carolina's 176 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 1: vigorously nodding her head. For instance, So in Georgia, the 177 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 1: company that mails out your tag renewal stickers went bankrupt 178 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: and nobody told anyone. And so my birthday is coming 179 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: up at the end of November. You can send your 180 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 1: presence to just kidding, And so all of a sudden 181 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,960 Speaker 1: last week I realized, wait, I never received the registration 182 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 1: renewal thing in the mail, and you know, with the 183 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: thing where you send in your emissions test and all 184 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:58,600 Speaker 1: of this stuff. And so I start panicking this morning, 185 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 1: like literally to the point of pounding chest, pounding heart, 186 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 1: sweating red in the face, like panicking about what I 187 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 1: need to get my emissions tested. When am I going 188 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,440 Speaker 1: to do that? Like, I've got to get that done. Um. 189 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,760 Speaker 1: And then once I do that, like because they're not 190 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: mailing it out, I actually have to go to the 191 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 1: tag office, which that's anxiety and do thing. I've got 192 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: to bring all these forms, fill out all this stuff. 193 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 1: I've got to have my tag and title and blah 194 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah. And then I talked to my 195 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 1: boyfriend and he's like, no, no, no, no no, it's it 196 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,080 Speaker 1: expires on your birthday. So your birthdays at the end 197 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 1: of November. You literally have like a month from now 198 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 1: to do this. And I was like, but now I 199 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: can't stop panicking. And so even though, like all morning, 200 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:39,079 Speaker 1: I've been like, it's fine, even though I'm panicking about 201 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,040 Speaker 1: this tag thing, which is really not a big deal 202 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: and I can handle it very easily. And oh but 203 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,439 Speaker 1: now I need to read for the podcast. Oh my god, 204 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 1: how can I focus on reading for our podcast today 205 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: if I've got to worry about the tag thing? And 206 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 1: it's like, um, brain, uh, we don't have to worry 207 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 1: about these things. It's fine, But like it's physically just 208 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,800 Speaker 1: took over it like didn't matter how much I rationalized it, 209 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: I still sitting there like, um, my whole life is 210 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:05,720 Speaker 1: crashing down around me. Oh, this is unfortunate. Maybe I 211 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 1: should just drink some more water and less coffee. I mean, 212 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:13,320 Speaker 1: to be fair, Caroline, the whole tag situation is a headache, 213 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,200 Speaker 1: And the fact that they send it on your birthday 214 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,959 Speaker 1: is like the rudest present ever, because like, oh, here 215 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:24,280 Speaker 1: is a couple hundred dollars government. Of course I want 216 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 1: to go have an emissions test um. And also I 217 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,000 Speaker 1: think it's maybe just a sign that you need an assistant. 218 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 1: You know you have a therapist, Now I need an assistance. 219 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 1: I've been I joked about this to my boyfriend the 220 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 1: other day because he is self employed in the music industry, 221 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 1: and I was like, Hey, wouldn't that be funny dot 222 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 1: dot dot if we shared a personal assistant. I don't 223 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: know how we would pay for one. So if anyone 224 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,679 Speaker 1: wants to be an intern of girlfriend and boyfriend, inc. 225 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,800 Speaker 1: That would be much appreciated, isn't it girlfriend dog, boyfriend dog, inc? 226 00:13:54,960 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 1: So correct? Are the couple speak? Yes? People low um? 227 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 1: Well in those kinds of experiences, regardless of whether it 228 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:09,280 Speaker 1: is something that seems as minor as getting your tag 229 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: renewde or something that is some legitimately life altering event 230 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 1: can involve more symptoms of this cyclical long term anxiety, 231 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 1: like that unshakable sadness, which which will lead into depression. 232 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 1: And depression and anxiety often go hand in hand. You 233 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 1: can have all the difficulty just relaxing in general. This 234 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:37,880 Speaker 1: is part of why um, I tend to watch My 235 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 1: Too Guiltiest Pleasures on television, Nashville and Scandal while cleaning. Wait, 236 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 1: so meaning you're like keyed up while you're cleaning, or 237 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:52,080 Speaker 1: you're cleaning and watching these shows to relax. I'm cleaning 238 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,360 Speaker 1: and watching the shows to relax. I would not be 239 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 1: able to just sit down on the couch and watch 240 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 1: an episode of Nashville because you're like, I have these 241 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 1: other things, and I would be like, there there is 242 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:07,840 Speaker 1: dust on the floor, I must sweep it. I mean, 243 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 1: And it's also just a handy way of getting the 244 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 1: house clean while being entertained by Olivia, Pope and co Um. 245 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 1: But those physical symptoms, Caroline that you mentioned are also 246 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,920 Speaker 1: a big part of this as well. Anxiety is a 247 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 1: very physiological kind of thing. It's not all just in 248 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 1: our heads. Because it can lead to fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, difficulties, swallowing, tuckling, twitching, sweating, 249 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 1: As you mentioned, nausea. I get a heat in my chest, 250 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 1: um having to go to the bathroom frequently, which will happen. 251 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I think this is just like general nervousness 252 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,200 Speaker 1: with a nervous peer. Yeah, I'm definitely a nervous peer. 253 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 1: In fact, I gotta go right now, um, feeling out 254 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 1: of breath, all of the things that you would expect. Yeah, no, 255 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 1: I absolutely get those things and deep breath. Um. I 256 00:15:56,320 --> 00:16:00,360 Speaker 1: also get I have a lot of trouble sleeping. Back 257 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: when I started doing the podcast with you, Kristen, like 258 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,240 Speaker 1: because I had a day job and I was doing 259 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:09,440 Speaker 1: the podcast with Kristen on the side. Um, the podcast 260 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:13,640 Speaker 1: was my side piece, and I it was like a 261 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 1: shake up to my routine. I'm also a very routine 262 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 1: driven person, very regimented, and so here there's like a 263 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,240 Speaker 1: little more work, a little routine shake up, and suddenly 264 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: I'm not sleeping. And it's interesting because I've talked about 265 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 1: this on the podcast before, but during that time, I 266 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,560 Speaker 1: was at my kinnecologist and I was telling her. I 267 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 1: was like you know, I'm really anxious lately. I'm pretty 268 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,440 Speaker 1: sure it's just like circumstantial. I'm having trouble sleeping or whatever, 269 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 1: and she's she just wrote me a prescription for an 270 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,520 Speaker 1: anti anxiety medication. And I was like, you don't know 271 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 1: anything about anything that I'm dealing with right now. I'm 272 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: not going to fill this prescription. But yeah, luckily the sleeping, 273 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 1: the sleeping thing comes in waves, though, Like if I 274 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 1: am the tiniest bit anxious about anything. My dad's the 275 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,120 Speaker 1: same way, Like I'll run into him. When I was 276 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 1: living at home, I'd run into my dad at three 277 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 1: in the morning. I'd be getting home from being out 278 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 1: with friends and he'd be up, like, yeah, I just 279 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:12,640 Speaker 1: got up. I'm awake now, coffee. And so, I mean, 280 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,199 Speaker 1: neither my dad nor I, like I said, have been 281 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:19,639 Speaker 1: diagnosed with any type of specific anxiety disorder. I think 282 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:23,280 Speaker 1: we're just like kind of nervous people. We've probably the 283 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 1: nervous servants, that's right, the nervous urbans. But there are 284 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:34,439 Speaker 1: three primary types of anxiety disorder. We've got generalized anxiety disorder, 285 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,879 Speaker 1: which is what Kristen mentioned, which is that persistent, unrealistic 286 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:41,359 Speaker 1: worry that just sort of interferes with your functioning. It's fun, 287 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:46,840 Speaker 1: it's so fun. You've got panic disorder and also social 288 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 1: anxiety disorder, which is actually the most common, and it's 289 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:54,920 Speaker 1: that extreme fear of being judged. It's it's this feeling. 290 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: I don't get it all the time. It really depends 291 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,480 Speaker 1: on I mean almost the day, but I'm I walk 292 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 1: in somewhere and just immediately get this full body pressure, dread, 293 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 1: feeling like I get hot all over, feeling like everyone 294 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,360 Speaker 1: is looking at me, everyone is judging me, whether it's 295 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:16,160 Speaker 1: what I'm wearing whatever. Uh, and that can be so 296 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: hard to break out of mentally. Yeah, I experienced a 297 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,360 Speaker 1: lot of that, and listeners, you tell us, I think 298 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 1: that it's a topic that we should circle back to 299 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 1: and do our an entire episode on it, because it's 300 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 1: another one of those things where I'm hearing people talk 301 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 1: about it more than ever before, of saying, oh, I'm 302 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 1: so socially anxious, Oh my social anxiety, that, my social 303 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,959 Speaker 1: anxiety that, and uh, this is actually something that especially 304 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:48,120 Speaker 1: happens on YouTube and within the YouTube community, um, where 305 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:54,119 Speaker 1: there's there's even some debate over real social anxiety versus 306 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 1: like legit sociophobia. These people cannot leave their homes, which 307 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,879 Speaker 1: is part of why they're watching so many YouTube videos. Um. So, 308 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,960 Speaker 1: I think that would be a great topic to revisit 309 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:07,399 Speaker 1: because it's it's another thing that I also experience. Um 310 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: but I think that a lot of people confuse just 311 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 1: general social angst with the actual disorder. Yeah so, um 312 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 1: but when it comes to just anxiety disorders, this surprised me. 313 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:23,880 Speaker 1: The average age of onset was thirty one. I got 314 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 1: to turn thirty two. Cool. Alright, well, Caroline, I'm thirty 315 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 1: so I'm a little ahead of the curve. You know, 316 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: my brain well done. And the primary treatments for anxiety 317 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: disorders are cognitive and behavior therapy exposure therapy, which is 318 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,560 Speaker 1: when I think of exposure therapy, I parentulas No, I 319 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 1: think it's just being like thrown into a giant networking 320 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,439 Speaker 1: mixer event where I know no one and there's no 321 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,680 Speaker 1: alcohol being served. Like okay, yeah, no, let me add 322 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 1: to that. Okay, so we're being thrown into a networking 323 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: event with no alcohol. But also the room is hot, 324 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,439 Speaker 1: so my hands are already sweaty from being nervous, but 325 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 1: then it's hot in there, and so then I'm just 326 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,840 Speaker 1: sweaty all over in my hand, So then I what 327 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,959 Speaker 1: I do, Um, this is real life. Like let's say 328 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: I am holding a drink and in this scenario it's 329 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 1: non alcoholic, so I'm holding my ice water and I 330 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,119 Speaker 1: make sure to get my hand super wet and cold. 331 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 1: And then so when it comes to shaking somebody's hand, 332 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,919 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, sorry, hang on, let me wipe my 333 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,440 Speaker 1: hand off, and then I go for the handshake because 334 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,960 Speaker 1: it it's two birds with one stone, like, oh, her 335 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,880 Speaker 1: hand is wet, and I'm just giving so much away. 336 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 1: People are never going to shake my hand. The great tips, 337 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,919 Speaker 1: so Caroline, You're welcome. So yeah, once at least my 338 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 1: hand is cold. Then when I shake it and it's 339 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,320 Speaker 1: been recently wiped off, so I'm like, and then if 340 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,080 Speaker 1: you have a cold hand and you were to shake 341 00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 1: my mother's hand, she was like, oh cold hands warm horror, 342 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,240 Speaker 1: And then I would hug her. But if making your 343 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:52,359 Speaker 1: hands wet and wiping them off slightly, it's not strong 344 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:57,560 Speaker 1: enough therapy. Of course, there are antidepressants, anti anxiety medications 345 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,680 Speaker 1: and also beta blockers. Yeah, and mean what I said 346 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,879 Speaker 1: earlier about not filling the prescription for the anti anxiety 347 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 1: med that my kinnecologies prescribed. Is not to say that 348 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,320 Speaker 1: that's not valid and not important for a lot of people. 349 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 1: I have several friends who are on these types of 350 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: medications and it saves them. I mean, it's critical to 351 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:19,639 Speaker 1: their health. I'm just saying that for me, well, maybe 352 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: I'll need it in the future. Right then, I felt 353 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,320 Speaker 1: very uncomfortable accepting a prescription from a health professional who 354 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: wasn't fully familiar with my mental health stuff. Yeah, that's 355 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 1: completely understandable. I would be nervous about getting on something 356 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,280 Speaker 1: that a doctor who didn't know me very well, just 357 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,320 Speaker 1: you know, quickly wrote she knows my vagina really well, 358 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 1: but not what's going on up here in the brain part. 359 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 1: It's like, well, your vagina is a little anxious, so 360 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:53,919 Speaker 1: I'm sure it is all nervous. He and but who 361 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: is this happening to? Um? In the United States, a 362 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:02,679 Speaker 1: commonly sided statistic is it seventeen percent of us we 363 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:08,159 Speaker 1: are the seventeen percent well experience disordered anxiety at some 364 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 1: point during any given years, So it's very common. And 365 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 1: around the world I thought this was notable. Around seven 366 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:20,120 Speaker 1: point three percent of the population live with generalized anxiety disorder. 367 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: There's so many people. That is so many people. I mean, 368 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,439 Speaker 1: that's seventeen percent in the U s alone, equates to 369 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,880 Speaker 1: forty million people. Yeah, that's a lot of computeople. It's 370 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 1: a lot of anxiety, a lot of nervous vaginas, and 371 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,639 Speaker 1: it's definitely on the rise, at least the diagnosis of it. 372 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 1: For instance, in Reuters reported that anxiety disorders were up 373 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 1: twelve hundred percent since nineteen eighty. And this really isn't news. 374 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,440 Speaker 1: I mean, we hear about it all the time, like, oh, 375 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,719 Speaker 1: Americans are more depressed than ever before, were more anxious 376 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,439 Speaker 1: than ever before. Other countries don't have these problems that 377 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:11,280 Speaker 1: we're having. What's going on? So what is going on? 378 00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,200 Speaker 1: I mean? And and the thing is, that's a very 379 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:17,160 Speaker 1: tough question to answer, because there's no one factor that 380 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: explains anxiety disorders. Or as psychiatrist George McCary put it 381 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 1: more poetically in The New York Times, he said, quote, 382 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:32,120 Speaker 1: they implicate a possible symphonic interaction of DNA hormones, neurons, 383 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:36,960 Speaker 1: anticipatory fantasies, memories and thoughts, as well as the constraints 384 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:41,359 Speaker 1: and opportunities of our culture. So it's inescapable, is what 385 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 1: I'm and complex. Yeah, And so not only do we 386 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,600 Speaker 1: want to talk about this because selfishly because we struggle 387 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 1: with anxiety, and also forty million Americans struggle with anxiety, 388 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,880 Speaker 1: but also because, like Kristen said, it reportedly affects twice 389 00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:00,639 Speaker 1: as many women. But first, let's to a moment and 390 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,160 Speaker 1: and look at the language of anxiety, because to me, 391 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:10,000 Speaker 1: this is relevant to how we're how we're talking about 392 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:14,080 Speaker 1: and considering anxiety today, because anxiety is such a catch 393 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 1: all term because it can mean something diagnostic, or it 394 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:22,520 Speaker 1: can just mean feeling nervous about having to take a 395 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,879 Speaker 1: test or record a podcast. Its very normal kinds of feelings. 396 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,919 Speaker 1: And written descriptions of anxiety go back to ancient Greece 397 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 1: and Rome, but it's really not until the early nineteenth 398 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:39,120 Speaker 1: century that closer medical examinations and descriptions of anxiety emerged. 399 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:43,040 Speaker 1: And this was something that psychiatrist Makari was writing about 400 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,320 Speaker 1: in the New York Times, and I really enjoyed him 401 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:51,399 Speaker 1: laying out how it it takes on different meanings within 402 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 1: different languages. Yeah, in French, for instance, we have the 403 00:24:55,600 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 1: word anglass, which equates to tortured misery that sounds pleasant. 404 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:05,080 Speaker 1: The German word angst, which that should sound familiar, is 405 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,919 Speaker 1: that foreboding feeling in the pit of your stomach, like 406 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,160 Speaker 1: when you're me and you walk into a room full 407 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 1: of people. The Spanish have the word angustia, which is 408 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:20,640 Speaker 1: that breathless panic that I experienced all the time. And 409 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,480 Speaker 1: in Britain the word panic derived from the Greek myth 410 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:29,800 Speaker 1: of the god Pan whose woodzero revel rousing induced terror 411 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 1: and people. Pan was like the half goat, half man 412 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,639 Speaker 1: guy who like messed with people. I was going to 413 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 1: say a bad word and then I remember where we were. Anyway, 414 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 1: he was a woodsy revel rouser. Sums it up well. 415 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 1: But it was actually Old Freud who was the first 416 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,040 Speaker 1: to coin anxiety as we think of it today, and 417 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,800 Speaker 1: he called it signal anxiety, and he was the first 418 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 1: to propose it being purely physiologically. And of course froy 419 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,960 Speaker 1: to dam the anxiety just had to do with sex. 420 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 1: He thought that it was a result of essentially your 421 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 1: libido being all clogged up, and that if you just 422 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 1: needed to have more and better sex. I don't want 423 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 1: I clogged up. No, I reject that in my brain. Um, yeah, 424 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:18,880 Speaker 1: He talked about signal anxiety as being that small amount 425 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:23,359 Speaker 1: of anticipatory discomfort basically that leads you to like snowball 426 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,119 Speaker 1: into an anxiety spiral. But in Freud's terms, could it 427 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:33,679 Speaker 1: be like an anxious vagina? Yeah, I'm sure if he 428 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,160 Speaker 1: didn't think that, I would be surprised. But even today, 429 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 1: some clinicians and anxiety sufferers worry that the way we 430 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:47,880 Speaker 1: talk about anxiety is still too nebulous and casual, because 431 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: I mean, anxiety itself, especially like clinically, is already murky 432 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,960 Speaker 1: and and the fact that we don't have more precise 433 00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 1: language to define it is why some people think that 434 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 1: we still don't fully understand it, or maybe reflects how 435 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 1: we don't fully understand it, because like I said just 436 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:11,679 Speaker 1: a minute ago, anxiety has multiple meanings, but when it 437 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:20,240 Speaker 1: comes to this diagnostic criteria, anxiety is already murky territory. 438 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 1: So the fact that we don't have more precise language 439 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,640 Speaker 1: maybe reflects how there are so many question marks when 440 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 1: it comes to what is causing this on an individual level, 441 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:33,200 Speaker 1: because their theories about our autonomous nervous system acting past 442 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:37,520 Speaker 1: trauma imprinted on the brain, cultural and technological forces making 443 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:42,480 Speaker 1: life unbearable because seriously, Instagram makes everything looks so perfect. 444 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:46,879 Speaker 1: Why can't we have Instagram filters for our lives? I 445 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:50,680 Speaker 1: r l um. Then there are questions of genetic or 446 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 1: maybe it's just like a hodgepodge of all of these things. 447 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,160 Speaker 1: So I mean, I guess in a way too, that's 448 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:01,040 Speaker 1: an awful lot for one word to some up. Yeah, 449 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:04,200 Speaker 1: that's why I like all those all those uh, foreign words. 450 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,160 Speaker 1: That sounds like a really American thing to say, those 451 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,720 Speaker 1: foreign words, all those foreign wars France fraz. I don't know. 452 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 1: I like the Spanish word better, just the idea of 453 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 1: breathless panic because I'm like, oh my god, a word 454 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,960 Speaker 1: from my life, and honestly it just sounds, you know, 455 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 1: there's a little romance to it. I like it. Yeah, 456 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,919 Speaker 1: A lot of anxiety is romantic. Like maybe if I 457 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,560 Speaker 1: had a daughter, I could name her that, oh poor girl. 458 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 1: But personally I did like Patricia Pearson's definition of it. 459 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 1: In her anxiety memoir A Brief History of Anxiety. She 460 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 1: defined it as fear in search of a cause. That's 461 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 1: so perfect because I think she talks about as does 462 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:48,120 Speaker 1: anyone who struggles with anxiety, and myself she talks about 463 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 1: how like, even when things are going great, your brain 464 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 1: still is in like seek and destroy mode in terms 465 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,440 Speaker 1: of like I need to find something to be worried 466 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,640 Speaker 1: about because it's again, like I was saying earlier, it's 467 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 1: like it's a baseline state for a lot of people. 468 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 1: So if something's going really well, and I mean this 469 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,479 Speaker 1: is something that I've worked through with my therapist, I 470 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 1: have definitely gotten the stereotypical therapist question of like, are 471 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: you just causing trouble for yourself because things are going 472 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 1: really well in your life, and it's like, well, yeah, probably, August. 473 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:27,240 Speaker 1: I know. I feel like if I were named that, 474 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,000 Speaker 1: I would totally be in like Victorian Garb on a 475 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,880 Speaker 1: fainting couches. That's how I just pictured myself with my 476 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,760 Speaker 1: like my arm over my face. But you, as either 477 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:42,960 Speaker 1: you or Victorian Augusta, you is the quintessential anxiety patient. 478 00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:49,080 Speaker 1: And that is another huge question mark that researchers and 479 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 1: doctors are still trying to figure out of this anxiety 480 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:57,080 Speaker 1: gender gap, because across the board, it's not just anxiety. 481 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 1: Stress related diseases are are common among women hands down, 482 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,960 Speaker 1: and some of it might be because men simply aren't 483 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,600 Speaker 1: going to therapy, They aren't seeking out treatment for things 484 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,080 Speaker 1: that might be going on in their minds and their brains. 485 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,600 Speaker 1: Um Slate reported that men make up just thirty seven 486 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:20,040 Speaker 1: per cent of therapy patients, for instance, And when it 487 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: comes to our physical doctors, men are less likely to 488 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,080 Speaker 1: go as well. So if they're not going to see 489 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 1: their doctor, they're less likely to be having these issues 490 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,760 Speaker 1: come up and having medications being written in, diagnoses being 491 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,360 Speaker 1: handed out. Well, we also talked about language in the 492 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,480 Speaker 1: way that we talk about anxiety and like, oh my god, what, 493 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 1: what's the cause? Is that? Nature and nurture blah blah 494 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:44,960 Speaker 1: blah all this stuff. Well, part of the problem could 495 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,760 Speaker 1: be also the way we talk about anxiety, not only 496 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:50,880 Speaker 1: where it comes from, but the fact that we tend 497 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:54,800 Speaker 1: to frame anxiety is a woman thing. I know plenty 498 00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: of guys who struggle with some form of anxiety, and 499 00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 1: maybe if something is framed as like the feminine problem, 500 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 1: the woman problem, maybe that could also put some men, 501 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 1: not all men, some men off of seeking help for 502 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:12,520 Speaker 1: that particular problem. Yeah, and that whole issue is something 503 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,160 Speaker 1: that will circle back around to when we're talking about 504 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:21,240 Speaker 1: the nurture side of the anxiety nature nurture conversation. Um, 505 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 1: but if we look at kids up until eleven years old, 506 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,800 Speaker 1: boys and girls are equally prone to anxiety disorders. And 507 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:33,200 Speaker 1: this is something we've seen happen with so many issues 508 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:39,160 Speaker 1: because once puberty hits, the girls change, our periods, change everything. 509 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,640 Speaker 1: It seems like by fifteen years old, girls are six 510 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: times likelier to have an anxiety disorder. But it takes 511 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,840 Speaker 1: an average of nine to twelve years between the onset 512 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,800 Speaker 1: of these anxiety symptoms and getting a diagnosis. And this 513 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 1: is nothing new. If you've listened to other Sminty episodes 514 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 1: about women's health issues, this should not be a new concept. 515 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 1: And even once these women go get a diagnosis, even 516 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:11,200 Speaker 1: then some people think that it's still underdiagnosed. And then 517 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,080 Speaker 1: on top of that too, there's a question of getting 518 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,760 Speaker 1: the right kind of treatment and sticking with that treatment 519 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,960 Speaker 1: long enough for it to make a real difference. Because 520 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:24,720 Speaker 1: here's the bonus information. I hear breathless pan, my AGS 521 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:29,200 Speaker 1: is coming up. It doesn't get better with age. More 522 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,760 Speaker 1: recent research is actually found that as we get older, 523 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:39,640 Speaker 1: anxiety and depression worsens and becomes complicated by physical aches, pains, 524 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,680 Speaker 1: and panics. Well, I'm sure it also worsens if you're 525 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,720 Speaker 1: not if you're one of the people who considers it 526 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,400 Speaker 1: such a baseline state that you're not doing anything to 527 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:53,920 Speaker 1: counteract it, that you're not actively using those techniques of breathing, 528 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:59,280 Speaker 1: maybe seeking cognitive behavioral therapy, seeking medication to help cope, 529 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 1: help deal with it. Well. And if we think that 530 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 1: women's reported self reported health care needs are often delegitimized, 531 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:13,400 Speaker 1: think about it in terms of our senior population and 532 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 1: how you know they're often brushed to the side as well. Um. 533 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,920 Speaker 1: But one thing I wanted to mention in terms of 534 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 1: getting older and anxiety, and something that jumped out to 535 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,800 Speaker 1: me and my personal experience and something that I have 536 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,040 Speaker 1: talked with other friends about because it's happened to them 537 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:36,160 Speaker 1: as well, is that just in our late twenties, the 538 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:42,960 Speaker 1: anxiety that happens after drinking alcohol is out of control, 539 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 1: the old anxiety hangover. And when I was looking for 540 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,360 Speaker 1: sources on this, there really wasn't that much on it 541 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:53,600 Speaker 1: outside of posts on like sobriety websites and like calumn 542 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 1: Clinic dot com. Um. But it's something that I know 543 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,760 Speaker 1: so exists because I've talked to so many people about it, 544 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,080 Speaker 1: where it's like, yeah, when we were in college, we 545 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,640 Speaker 1: could drink all we wanted and we'd feel bad. We'd 546 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,480 Speaker 1: have the headache and the physical symptoms the next day. 547 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:11,799 Speaker 1: But hitting thirty, if I have a hangover, it is 548 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,480 Speaker 1: not so much physical. It is one mental that's interesting. 549 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,400 Speaker 1: So you feel, do you feel more anxious or do 550 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,960 Speaker 1: you I mean, what's Yeah, I mean, that's it's an 551 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:25,320 Speaker 1: anxiety hangover. Interesting. Yeah, I mean, and it's from maybe 552 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,440 Speaker 1: I'm just staying out with a lot of alcoholics, but 553 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,200 Speaker 1: I know a lot of people that it happens to, 554 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,600 Speaker 1: and among my circle of friends, this was not something 555 00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,440 Speaker 1: that we talked about in our twenties. Yeah. No, I 556 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,160 Speaker 1: know that because I drink so much, I drink far 557 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,360 Speaker 1: less than I used to, far far, far far less 558 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:46,400 Speaker 1: than I used to, And that does coincide with the 559 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:50,800 Speaker 1: rise of my anxiety in my experience, because I was 560 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:54,080 Speaker 1: always using it as a way to like get through 561 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,520 Speaker 1: social engagements and be funny and let loose and not 562 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,640 Speaker 1: be uptight and regimented. And so now that I'm like 563 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,759 Speaker 1: dealing with life issues not by drinking them away or 564 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:07,520 Speaker 1: literally like running away from them, I'm having all of 565 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,799 Speaker 1: those panic symptoms because it's like, oh, I really have 566 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,479 Speaker 1: to dig into this now. Well, and it's also worth 567 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:16,440 Speaker 1: keeping in mind too that just physically, as we get older, 568 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,120 Speaker 1: and by older, I mean just like out of our twenties, 569 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:24,080 Speaker 1: our liver's capacity to process alcohol drastically slows down, so 570 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,040 Speaker 1: our bodies are just getting old in general, we're just 571 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,800 Speaker 1: breaking down and turning to dust. It's fine, it's fine, 572 00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:34,360 Speaker 1: But now it's really focused in on this gender gap question. 573 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:40,279 Speaker 1: That statistic that women are twice as likely to have anxiety, 574 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:46,239 Speaker 1: so our women wired to worry. It seems like so 575 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,680 Speaker 1: much of the stuff that we read about anxiety points 576 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,879 Speaker 1: to women as being the more anxious sex, the people 577 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,200 Speaker 1: who are not only more likely to be anxious, but 578 00:35:55,280 --> 00:36:00,120 Speaker 1: more likely to seek help for anxiety. And in the 579 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:04,239 Speaker 1: reading that we've done, it's clear that perhaps our brains 580 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:08,200 Speaker 1: are a little bit more sensitive to certain stress hormones 581 00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:12,600 Speaker 1: and possibly less able to adapt to high levels of them. Yeah, 582 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:16,440 Speaker 1: that was something that l magazine talked about with Dr 583 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:21,239 Speaker 1: Rita Valentino because she's done some pretty groundbreaking research on 584 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,440 Speaker 1: rats brains. Because a lot of what we know about 585 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:27,880 Speaker 1: our own brains come from rats, which is funny, um, 586 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:32,960 Speaker 1: and she found that female rats brains were more sensitive 587 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:39,359 Speaker 1: to the stress neuropeptide corticotropin releasing factor or CRF, and 588 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:45,080 Speaker 1: CRF essentially jilts your arousal vigilance and changes in attention. 589 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:48,520 Speaker 1: It's that hyper vigilance that we think of and just average, 590 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:53,200 Speaker 1: you know, the lower case a anxiety. So it's good 591 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,080 Speaker 1: when a bear is chasing you, yeah, or a human 592 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,520 Speaker 1: that wants to kill you because you're a rat and 593 00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:01,200 Speaker 1: you're running away with the cheese. I guess it would 594 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:04,080 Speaker 1: be more a cat than a human. I'm thinking now 595 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,960 Speaker 1: if Tom and Jerry and my mind has officially entered 596 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,800 Speaker 1: tangent Land. But Valentino found that these female rat brains 597 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:15,160 Speaker 1: are a more sensitive to it and less, like you said, 598 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:19,560 Speaker 1: able to adapt when that CRF flooding happened. So it's 599 00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:23,239 Speaker 1: like we're already prone to experience these heightened feelings, and 600 00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:27,440 Speaker 1: when those heightened feelings happen, we're also prone for them 601 00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:31,439 Speaker 1: to handicap us. Yeah, so me getting stressed out about 602 00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:35,000 Speaker 1: my tag renewal and then once all of those stress 603 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,880 Speaker 1: hormones just flood my brain, I think you need to 604 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,160 Speaker 1: get that tag renewed as soon as we finish this podcast. 605 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:42,319 Speaker 1: I think I'm a little worried about it. I just 606 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:44,640 Speaker 1: need to like grab a sandwich and go handle this. 607 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:49,920 Speaker 1: A sandwich could make the tag office better. I think, yeah, sandwich. 608 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:54,239 Speaker 1: And speaking of drinking your anxiety way sandwich on a cocktail, 609 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:56,640 Speaker 1: I'm fun to hang out with the d m V. 610 00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:01,520 Speaker 1: But speaking of these these chemicals in our brain, hormones 611 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:06,200 Speaker 1: have also been implicated. And my assumption going into this 612 00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:09,279 Speaker 1: was like, oh, of course estrogen is to blame. It's 613 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:13,120 Speaker 1: got to be estrogen. But estrogen, it turns out, correlates 614 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:20,319 Speaker 1: to higher fear extinction capacity. What pretty cool estrogen. But 615 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:24,240 Speaker 1: early in our menstrual cycles, when our estrogen is low, 616 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:29,000 Speaker 1: we might be more anxiety prone, probably because estrogen is 617 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:32,799 Speaker 1: lower and progesterone is all like, oh, hey guys, I'm 618 00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,839 Speaker 1: gonna hang out on your brain and making nervous. Yeah. 619 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,760 Speaker 1: And research has found that women on birth control pills 620 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,759 Speaker 1: when it comes to anxiety, act like the women who 621 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:45,480 Speaker 1: have naturally low estrogen. And so it's important to note 622 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,200 Speaker 1: that your hormones will likely influence how those anti anxiety 623 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:54,319 Speaker 1: medications work. And in terms of dudes, because anecdotally, dudes 624 00:38:54,400 --> 00:39:01,120 Speaker 1: also have hormones. The enzyme aromatase converts testosterone into estrogen, 625 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:05,560 Speaker 1: therefore giving them that same benefit that women have when 626 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:12,280 Speaker 1: they have higher higher estrogen. Yeah, so testosterone definitely buffers 627 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:17,480 Speaker 1: against you know that that that fear and anxiety as well. 628 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:22,120 Speaker 1: And progesterone, though, is the real culprit. It seems like 629 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:26,319 Speaker 1: hormonally speaking, as I just mentioned, because high levels of 630 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:31,319 Speaker 1: progesterone have been linked to actually changing the shape of 631 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:37,040 Speaker 1: our brain receptors that manage anxiety, and so for that reason, 632 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:43,520 Speaker 1: some researchers think that progesterone might explain things like prenatal 633 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:47,239 Speaker 1: and postpartum anxiety, considering that the body produces about a 634 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,600 Speaker 1: thousand times the normal amount of progesterone just in the 635 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,560 Speaker 1: third trimester of pregnancy, not to mention all of the 636 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,439 Speaker 1: hormonal stuff going on as you are and right after 637 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,840 Speaker 1: you give birth yea, And so it shoots up in 638 00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:01,400 Speaker 1: the third trimester and then or back down once the 639 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:05,160 Speaker 1: baby pops out. So your hormones are doing all sorts 640 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,560 Speaker 1: of crazy things to you, and then you have to breastfeed. 641 00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:13,640 Speaker 1: But not everyone is convinced with this idea that female 642 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:18,160 Speaker 1: brains are just wired to be anxious. In fact, Taylor 643 00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:23,120 Speaker 1: Clark wrote a book partially about this called Nerve and 644 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:27,319 Speaker 1: and one of the excerpts from Nerve Clark attempts to 645 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:34,040 Speaker 1: debunk the nature argument and really places a lot of 646 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:37,560 Speaker 1: the onus on nurture, saying that listen, this is all 647 00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:41,600 Speaker 1: about culture and parenting and how we raise girls different 648 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,880 Speaker 1: from boys. Yeah, so he attributes a lot of the 649 00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:47,520 Speaker 1: gender gap to this thing. He calls the skinned knee 650 00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:52,560 Speaker 1: effect basically coddling girls when they are anxious, upset, afraid, hurt, 651 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,840 Speaker 1: And he says that this predisposes them to react to 652 00:40:55,960 --> 00:41:01,120 Speaker 1: unpleasant situations by being more anxious getting that attention. And 653 00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,280 Speaker 1: I was reading this and I was like, oh crap, 654 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,319 Speaker 1: I am totally like that. When I fight with my 655 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,680 Speaker 1: boyfriend or when just like someone disagrees with me or 656 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,640 Speaker 1: is like disapproving of me in some way, I totally 657 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,840 Speaker 1: get a little too hurt and anxious about it. And 658 00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:21,239 Speaker 1: so the skinned knee effect is alive and well in 659 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:25,359 Speaker 1: Caroline nervous servan you know what are you gonna do? Oh? Well? 660 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:30,240 Speaker 1: And he calls women actually quote needlessly nervous adult, which 661 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,920 Speaker 1: it is hard where I'm studying to not take a 662 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:36,040 Speaker 1: little personally, So I'm like, I know, I'm needlessly nervous, 663 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:41,720 Speaker 1: but I I and I rationally understand that. But turning 664 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:46,560 Speaker 1: it off is where I don't necessarily by all of 665 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:50,640 Speaker 1: the culture explanations. But also people just have different brains 666 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:54,879 Speaker 1: because to Clark's point, a study found that we perceive 667 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:59,319 Speaker 1: women to be more anxious and nervously emotional than men. 668 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,680 Speaker 1: I mean, these are just qualities that we are likelier 669 00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,680 Speaker 1: to attribute to a group of women versus a group 670 00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:08,640 Speaker 1: of men. And this is also something that extends to 671 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:12,440 Speaker 1: issues like doctor's reluctance to treat women who are in 672 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:16,520 Speaker 1: pain reporting pain compared to men, because there's an assumption that, oh, well, 673 00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:20,400 Speaker 1: women are just over dramatizing things. She's just very nervous 674 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:25,120 Speaker 1: and anxious. Just calmed down, Just relax, just relax, honey, 675 00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:29,640 Speaker 1: all right, I will um. Yeah. Speaking of that whole 676 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:33,400 Speaker 1: perception thing, Clark talked about how we do have a 677 00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:37,400 Speaker 1: tendency to label women as anxious even when they aren't. 678 00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:39,840 Speaker 1: And there was one study that he talked about that 679 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,839 Speaker 1: said that showed that even when men and women are 680 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:46,600 Speaker 1: experiencing the same levels of an emotion of any given emotion, 681 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:52,440 Speaker 1: Women are seen and feed themselves as being more emotional. 682 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,560 Speaker 1: So I mean, I mean, there you've got a bias, 683 00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,759 Speaker 1: internal bias and an external bias toward women being like 684 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,840 Speaker 1: the emotional anxious ones. And I wonder too, just considering 685 00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:20,799 Speaker 1: how much more people are talking about their anxiety, how 686 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:25,200 Speaker 1: much more open women are about their patterns of anxiety 687 00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:28,640 Speaker 1: and their lives, I wonder if there is a limit 688 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,640 Speaker 1: to how much that's healthy and how much that is 689 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,560 Speaker 1: playing into that a little bit, almost like creating these 690 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:39,400 Speaker 1: self fulfilling prophecies of like, oh, I'm just so anxious, 691 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,760 Speaker 1: I'm just really really anxious. So of course when something happens, 692 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:46,280 Speaker 1: it almost gives this permission to feel anxious and nervous 693 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:50,280 Speaker 1: rather than trying to work through that anxiety. This also 694 00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:53,400 Speaker 1: is is a solely Christen conquer pet theory. I mean, 695 00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,239 Speaker 1: I think that's a that's a good point. I mean, 696 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,880 Speaker 1: I know that, um, when I start to experience like 697 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:03,600 Speaker 1: this physical anxiety, the debilitating physical anxiety feelings, you know, 698 00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,400 Speaker 1: my boyfriend tresed to talk me down, and he's like, 699 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,640 Speaker 1: the listen, the more you focus on the fact that 700 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:09,719 Speaker 1: you feel like something's sitting on your chest like the 701 00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,279 Speaker 1: worst it's going to be, like, we've got to distract you. 702 00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:14,400 Speaker 1: You know. My therapist just told me, like to start 703 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:15,960 Speaker 1: looking around the room and play a game of I 704 00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:19,680 Speaker 1: Spy with myself basically, like just sound fun. I know, 705 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,399 Speaker 1: I spy something gray. It's Kristen's shirt. Crap. I knew 706 00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:28,400 Speaker 1: the answer already. Um. But I also think that talking 707 00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,759 Speaker 1: about it helps. I know, like when you and I 708 00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:34,680 Speaker 1: discuss our anxiety, it actually kind of almost reduces mine. 709 00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:36,759 Speaker 1: Not because I'm like ha ha, she has it too, 710 00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:40,000 Speaker 1: but because it's like, oh, well, this is normal. Other 711 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,719 Speaker 1: people struggle with this, and it sort of helps reduce 712 00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:47,800 Speaker 1: anecdotally in Christian and Caroline universe, helps reduce my feelings 713 00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:52,440 Speaker 1: of I am so weird and not special, but like 714 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:56,040 Speaker 1: I I struggle with something that somebody else might not understand. 715 00:44:56,719 --> 00:44:59,359 Speaker 1: And then again, there's a whole thing of like with 716 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,200 Speaker 1: a lot of their conditions, not just anxiety. The more 717 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,759 Speaker 1: we talk about it and understand it, the more it's 718 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:09,280 Speaker 1: inevitably going to be diagnosed in people, because diagnostic techniques 719 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,520 Speaker 1: are going to be better and more people who are 720 00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:14,520 Speaker 1: educated about it or suspect they might struggle with it, 721 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,920 Speaker 1: whatever that condition may be, will end up going to 722 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,399 Speaker 1: the doctor and saying please help me. Yeah. I think 723 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,759 Speaker 1: that that is absolutely a healthy side of talking about it. 724 00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:26,239 Speaker 1: I similarly feel less crazy when I talk about it 725 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,840 Speaker 1: with you, because it's like, oh, here is a smart, 726 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:35,760 Speaker 1: cool lady who also experiences similar patterns of irrational worry. Totally, 727 00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:41,200 Speaker 1: it's gonna be okay. And that impact of destigmatizing anxiety 728 00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:45,200 Speaker 1: is so important because while yes, it's so often framed 729 00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:48,560 Speaker 1: as a woman's issue, I know there are so many 730 00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:52,240 Speaker 1: guys out there who, because of how anxiety has talked about, 731 00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:54,200 Speaker 1: how it is considered kind of a weak sort of thing, 732 00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:56,719 Speaker 1: how it is something that's really more acceptable for women 733 00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:59,319 Speaker 1: to go to a therapist and get help for versus men, 734 00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,840 Speaker 1: and they're not getting to help that they really do need, 735 00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,960 Speaker 1: you know, And and that impacts your quality of life. 736 00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:11,680 Speaker 1: Um so what do we do though about this? Well, 737 00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:16,359 Speaker 1: start exercising, like right right now, right now. And it's 738 00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,399 Speaker 1: funny because this is something that of course we all 739 00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,960 Speaker 1: know right anecdotally and surface level, we all know that 740 00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:24,520 Speaker 1: a we should exercise because we'll be healthier. It will 741 00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:27,720 Speaker 1: improve bones, strength, heart health, all of that good stuff. 742 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,319 Speaker 1: And yes, we even anecdotally know that exercise is best 743 00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:34,520 Speaker 1: to help with anxiety. It blows off steam. But but why, like, 744 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:37,760 Speaker 1: what is the steam blowing off nous? There's actual science 745 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,319 Speaker 1: behind that which I didn't realize, and it's that it 746 00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:48,280 Speaker 1: almost helps train your body to recognize those physical anxiety 747 00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:52,120 Speaker 1: symptoms the pounding heart, the chest pressure, the sweating and 748 00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,720 Speaker 1: nervousness and breathlessness as just like a normal like, oh, 749 00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,759 Speaker 1: we were just jogging. We're just jogging and at the 750 00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:00,800 Speaker 1: end of this, we're going to have a kill me 751 00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:04,520 Speaker 1: crazy smoothie Kristen, Okay, and we're gonna feel so much better. 752 00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:08,600 Speaker 1: And so it really is like kind of a tricking 753 00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:13,560 Speaker 1: of your physical being. Yes, Caroline, I can personally attest 754 00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:19,840 Speaker 1: to the life changing importance of exercise. I've always been 755 00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:23,600 Speaker 1: a bit of an exerciser, but once I in the past, 756 00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:27,920 Speaker 1: like five years, once I really started ingraining it into 757 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:35,040 Speaker 1: my routine of biking, running, yoga, Like it is so different, 758 00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:39,000 Speaker 1: how ideal When I can feel the anxiety coming on, 759 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:42,360 Speaker 1: if I'm able to go exercise, it's such a different 760 00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:45,120 Speaker 1: outcome than what I used to do of like, well, 761 00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,719 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna have a glass of wine and I'll 762 00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:51,680 Speaker 1: still have that glass of wine, but that not being 763 00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:55,960 Speaker 1: the go to, like alcohol is not a great is 764 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,319 Speaker 1: really not a cure for that. It might dull it 765 00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:03,319 Speaker 1: for a moment, but exercise is such a good thing 766 00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:05,040 Speaker 1: that you can do for your body. Well yeah, and 767 00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:08,120 Speaker 1: beyond getting your heart rate up, it's also and I mean, 768 00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:10,400 Speaker 1: I know that the snarky side of me wants to 769 00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:14,160 Speaker 1: say that this is not true, but um, it's almost 770 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:17,040 Speaker 1: a type of meditation. Like literally maybe you are doing 771 00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:20,160 Speaker 1: yoga and you're meditating as part of that, but I 772 00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:23,560 Speaker 1: mean getting into the groove of jogging and you're literally 773 00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,800 Speaker 1: just thinking about taking the next step, taking the next breath. 774 00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:30,879 Speaker 1: It does sort of take you out of that anxiety 775 00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:35,000 Speaker 1: spiral about renewing your tag. One thing that doesn't help, though, 776 00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:38,200 Speaker 1: which I am loath to give up, its caffeine. All 777 00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:40,920 Speaker 1: all the kind of lifestyle tips that you will read 778 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:44,799 Speaker 1: about anxiety is give up the caffeine. I like, but no, no, no, 779 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:48,640 Speaker 1: I so here I am. I'm gonna I'm telling you 780 00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:50,920 Speaker 1: listeners that other people say that this is good, and 781 00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:54,000 Speaker 1: I'm sure that it is good. But I love coffee. 782 00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:58,120 Speaker 1: There I said it. I love it. Too. We are Garfield. 783 00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,239 Speaker 1: Wait now Garfield's was on. Yeah, well we're Garfiel too, 784 00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:03,279 Speaker 1: But we're Kathy. Is Kathy a coffee person? I feel 785 00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:06,799 Speaker 1: like she drank coffee. We're every stereotypical cartoon We are 786 00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:11,080 Speaker 1: Nancy Botwin. She always had coffee. Yes, and perfect segue 787 00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:15,360 Speaker 1: to weed. Nancy Botwin, the leading character of the Gingi 788 00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:19,359 Speaker 1: Cohen Show weeds. UM. One thing I wanted to look 789 00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:24,200 Speaker 1: in was whether or not smoking pot is good for 790 00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:27,399 Speaker 1: anxiety A because pot is becoming more legalized, more women 791 00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,160 Speaker 1: are smoking pot than ever before. UM, women are getting 792 00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:35,279 Speaker 1: into the weed industry. There's a whole marijuana renaissance a foot, 793 00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,560 Speaker 1: especially for women. And one of the things that has 794 00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:43,160 Speaker 1: often talked about in terms of UM why marijuana should 795 00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:47,239 Speaker 1: be legalized. The way people get prescriptions for medical marijuana 796 00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:52,200 Speaker 1: is that, oh, it helps my anxiety, and you have 797 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:56,440 Speaker 1: a skeptical look on your face a little bit. Well, yeah, 798 00:49:56,480 --> 00:50:00,680 Speaker 1: just because I was remembering the this guy that I 799 00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:02,600 Speaker 1: dated who was a jerk. And he wasn't a jerk 800 00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,719 Speaker 1: because of this, but he was just a jerk. But 801 00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:08,600 Speaker 1: I remember that he was constantly one of those unhelpful 802 00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:11,280 Speaker 1: people that all anxious people are familiar with in their lives. 803 00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:14,040 Speaker 1: He's just like, would you just relax? Would you just 804 00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,759 Speaker 1: chill out? Like I mean, I don't care who you are. 805 00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,640 Speaker 1: Like that gets real old hearing that. But his go 806 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,799 Speaker 1: to thing was always like, we just need to get 807 00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:23,880 Speaker 1: you some weed. We just need to get you some weeds. 808 00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:26,480 Speaker 1: You'll relax well. And that's why I was curious to 809 00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:31,160 Speaker 1: look at the research on it, because paranoia is often 810 00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:34,080 Speaker 1: a side effect for many people if they smoke pot. 811 00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:39,640 Speaker 1: Not that I've ever ever never done that, um and 812 00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:44,400 Speaker 1: studies do find mixed results. So if you have a 813 00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:51,560 Speaker 1: panic disorder, research suggests weed, we'll probably amplify that. But 814 00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:58,279 Speaker 1: Vanderbilt study located a can of annoyed receptor in our amygdala, 815 00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,280 Speaker 1: which is sort of that the emotional seat of the brain, 816 00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:04,160 Speaker 1: and they think that it might be linked to anecdotal 817 00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:08,359 Speaker 1: reports of weed chilling us out. If we're really anxious, 818 00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:13,839 Speaker 1: then perhaps smoking pot can be a temporary fix. Now, 819 00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:15,680 Speaker 1: I will go on the record as saying I don't 820 00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:20,680 Speaker 1: think that there should be any substance, whether it's marijuana 821 00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:23,480 Speaker 1: or wine or chocolate, you know, anything like that that's 822 00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:26,640 Speaker 1: going to cure your anxiety. It needs to be part 823 00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:30,040 Speaker 1: of a whole lifestyle kind of thing. But I think 824 00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:33,280 Speaker 1: it's interesting to see how there is science is looking 825 00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:41,440 Speaker 1: into how pot can interact with our anxious or depressive symptoms. 826 00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,600 Speaker 1: So are you telling me that even my cannabinoid receptors 827 00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:49,279 Speaker 1: are anxious possibly, or maybe they're just judging because they're 828 00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:53,239 Speaker 1: not receptive. Well, I mean it could also it could 829 00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:55,880 Speaker 1: also shift depending on the kind of strain of marijuana 830 00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:57,960 Speaker 1: that you're smoking. Yeah, but we're now just getting into 831 00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,480 Speaker 1: a whole other podcast. Yeah, we'll podcast wait for letters 832 00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:04,120 Speaker 1: from people from listeners to tell us about that. Yeah, 833 00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,400 Speaker 1: I do. I would love to hear letters from listeners. 834 00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:08,200 Speaker 1: I know we've got a lot of letters out on 835 00:52:08,239 --> 00:52:10,400 Speaker 1: the West Coast, and we even have some weed farmers 836 00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:12,680 Speaker 1: who listen, so let us know. Yeah, let us know. 837 00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:16,520 Speaker 1: Another thing, So similarly to what I was saying about exercise, 838 00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:18,600 Speaker 1: of like, yes, we all know that it's good for 839 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,879 Speaker 1: you and you need to do it for general health, 840 00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:23,839 Speaker 1: but also dealing with anxiety. It's the same thing with 841 00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:27,040 Speaker 1: diet and Kristen, this is something I had never heard 842 00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:29,440 Speaker 1: before in terms of shifting your diet in order to 843 00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:32,520 Speaker 1: deal with anxiety. Well, yeah, because think about it, Like, 844 00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:34,640 Speaker 1: I don't know if you ever have weeks like this, Caroline, 845 00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:37,240 Speaker 1: where you have no time and you're just eating out 846 00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,719 Speaker 1: and maybe you had cheese it's and diet coke for 847 00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:45,760 Speaker 1: lunch yesterday. Oh wait no, that was me And that's disgusting. Um. 848 00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:50,720 Speaker 1: And it will impact how you feel, it can. Food 849 00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:54,800 Speaker 1: definitely impacts our moods and so a really good article 850 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,960 Speaker 1: on women in anxiety in Glamour magazine cited an Australian 851 00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:02,279 Speaker 1: study which found that women on whole foods diets that's 852 00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:07,480 Speaker 1: lowercase whole foods, not the store, but things like fruits, veggies, 853 00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:11,640 Speaker 1: whole grains, lean meats and fish were less likely to 854 00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:16,080 Speaker 1: experience anxiety, whereas women on high fattened processed food diets 855 00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:20,960 Speaker 1: were more prone to depression. That's that's do you hear that? 856 00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,839 Speaker 1: So the sound of my mind being blown not only 857 00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,839 Speaker 1: by those facts about eating better or whatever, but like 858 00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:30,000 Speaker 1: the persons, that's crazy. My boyfriend and I talk all 859 00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:32,960 Speaker 1: the time. So we're doing the Blue Apron meal delivery 860 00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,920 Speaker 1: service thing, which is great, which you should go to 861 00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:37,680 Speaker 1: blue Apron dot com slash mom stuff, right, let's true 862 00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:40,239 Speaker 1: to get your Blue Apron deal. But we've really been 863 00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:42,560 Speaker 1: enjoying it because it's really healthy food. It's easy to 864 00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:45,200 Speaker 1: cook all that good stuff. But when we're not doing that, 865 00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:48,040 Speaker 1: we do have a tendency to eat out and we 866 00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:50,960 Speaker 1: try not to do the pad tie all the time. 867 00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:53,600 Speaker 1: But we've been talking in that way that you do 868 00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:55,719 Speaker 1: when you're trying to do something healthy but you don't 869 00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:57,400 Speaker 1: have the time or the desire to get around to it, 870 00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,759 Speaker 1: where we're like, you know, we really should go back 871 00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:04,560 Speaker 1: to eating like fish and asparagus all the time. Are 872 00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:08,880 Speaker 1: we really should? Because we both struggle with anxiety. Well, Caroline, 873 00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:13,000 Speaker 1: I did not run across any studies on correlations between 874 00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:17,600 Speaker 1: asparagus consumption and anxiety, but you can give it a shot. 875 00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:21,040 Speaker 1: I will. I will report back on things besides how 876 00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:25,200 Speaker 1: my pea smells after I eat asparagus. Thank you. And 877 00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,799 Speaker 1: another thing that's important to keep in mind as you 878 00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:34,440 Speaker 1: might be integrating more exercise, healthier diet, yoga, weed brownings 879 00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:40,600 Speaker 1: into your lifestyle is really learning your anxiety triggers and 880 00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:45,120 Speaker 1: planning accordingly. That is one thing that my therapist is 881 00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:49,520 Speaker 1: pretty adamant about, is having a plan if there are 882 00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,680 Speaker 1: situations where I know that certain things tend to happen. 883 00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:55,480 Speaker 1: Then have a plan, and that can be very helpful. 884 00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:59,600 Speaker 1: That's your plans. Stop dropping roll, yes, because I'm always 885 00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:02,120 Speaker 1: terrified that everything is just going to burst into flames. 886 00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:05,600 Speaker 1: But also too, you have to give these management techniques 887 00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:10,160 Speaker 1: a genuine chance of working. If you go to yoga 888 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:13,080 Speaker 1: twice and you're like, oh, I'm so feel awful, yeah, 889 00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,880 Speaker 1: of course you do. You know, like you you usually 890 00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:18,600 Speaker 1: need at least two months sticking with these kinds of 891 00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,920 Speaker 1: things to really start feeling a difference. And that is 892 00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:24,240 Speaker 1: the challenge of a lot of this mental health stuff 893 00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:28,200 Speaker 1: is that it is an everyday process and there's no 894 00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:31,800 Speaker 1: quick fix, and you have to be compassionate with yourself 895 00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:39,479 Speaker 1: and patient with yourself and give your self time. Yeah exactly, Yeah, 896 00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:42,880 Speaker 1: be practice self compassion. And also in terms of like 897 00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:45,680 Speaker 1: when I feel anxiety come on, it's a good time 898 00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:49,560 Speaker 1: to go for a jog. Also, my therapist recommended when 899 00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:51,640 Speaker 1: I do feel like when I get the type of 900 00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:54,480 Speaker 1: anxiety that's totally out of proportion to what's going on, 901 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,400 Speaker 1: Like I literally feel like I'm about to be chased 902 00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:58,640 Speaker 1: by a lion or something, She's like, just drop and 903 00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:02,360 Speaker 1: give yourself twenty and I was what she literally said. 904 00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:05,120 Speaker 1: Your fight or flights kicking in, So give it something 905 00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:09,520 Speaker 1: to fight with and do push ups. It helps a little. 906 00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:11,439 Speaker 1: I have been known to, like, if I'm at home 907 00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,319 Speaker 1: and I start to feel anxious, I have been known 908 00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:15,080 Speaker 1: to drop down and start doing push up yeah, and 909 00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,480 Speaker 1: it kind of gets some of that energy out. Well, yeah, 910 00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:19,040 Speaker 1: because then by then I'm like, oh my god, I'm 911 00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:21,439 Speaker 1: so distracted by how I can't push my body off 912 00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:25,480 Speaker 1: the floor that it just turns into embarrassment and then like, hmm, 913 00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:32,280 Speaker 1: it's time for a snack. It's time for asparagus snack. Yeah. Well, listeners, 914 00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:38,439 Speaker 1: I hope this has been comforting and maybe enlightening for you. 915 00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:41,080 Speaker 1: I'm I'm really curious to hear from you. I'm sure 916 00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:45,640 Speaker 1: that there are people listening who have very similar mental 917 00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:48,360 Speaker 1: patterns that you deal with on a daily basis. And 918 00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:50,520 Speaker 1: I think it's also helpful for people who don't have 919 00:56:50,560 --> 00:56:54,120 Speaker 1: anxiety but no, people with anxiety in your life to 920 00:56:54,719 --> 00:57:01,040 Speaker 1: hear this as well, because it's so irrational and we 921 00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:04,120 Speaker 1: should be able to relax and just chill out. Stop 922 00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:06,759 Speaker 1: telling us to relax, but it's but it's hard to 923 00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:11,080 Speaker 1: and I think it's it's really, um, it's worthwhile to 924 00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:17,080 Speaker 1: take a moment and understand why just relaxing is sometimes 925 00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:19,760 Speaker 1: sometimes feels impossible. I don't want to say it is impossible, 926 00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:24,280 Speaker 1: but it feels impossible. It does just more asparagus, More asparagus. Please, 927 00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:27,520 Speaker 1: So with that, mom Stuff at house stuff works dot 928 00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:31,080 Speaker 1: com is our email address because we'd love to get 929 00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:34,520 Speaker 1: your letters. We want to know what kinds of things 930 00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:39,080 Speaker 1: you've experienced in regard to anxiety and any additional tips 931 00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:41,480 Speaker 1: that you have for managing it. Let us know Mom's 932 00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:43,240 Speaker 1: have at house stuff works dot com again is our 933 00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:45,840 Speaker 1: email address. You can also tweet us at mom Stuff 934 00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:48,760 Speaker 1: podcast or message us on Facebook. And we've got a 935 00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:55,280 Speaker 1: couple of messages to share with you right now. And 936 00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,920 Speaker 1: both of these letters, Caroline are from our Couple Speak 937 00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:03,160 Speaker 1: episode be because it was adorable and people had so 938 00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:06,320 Speaker 1: many letters to send us, and Paige wrote, I'm a 939 00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:08,240 Speaker 1: longtime fan of your show and was listening to a 940 00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:10,920 Speaker 1: couple of speech and wanted to write in regard to 941 00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:13,880 Speaker 1: my different experiences with it. I've been dating my boyfriend 942 00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:16,000 Speaker 1: for close to two years now, and while we usually 943 00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,440 Speaker 1: refer to each other as baby or babe, we have 944 00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:21,400 Speaker 1: a couple other names. One of them actually came from 945 00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:23,880 Speaker 1: a typo I made. I was texting him and went 946 00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:27,440 Speaker 1: to call him baby and managed the type babo instead. 947 00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:31,120 Speaker 1: He thought it was hilarious. And now when we're feeling goofy, 948 00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:34,480 Speaker 1: we refer to each other as Babo. We also call 949 00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,040 Speaker 1: each other bab and I call him my night and 950 00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:40,000 Speaker 1: rusted armor because rusted armor shows that a night has 951 00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:42,560 Speaker 1: been in battle and is willing to fight. Thanks for 952 00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:45,200 Speaker 1: having such an entertaining show, You ladies make the workday 953 00:58:45,240 --> 00:58:48,720 Speaker 1: go buy so much faster. That just makes me think 954 00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:52,280 Speaker 1: of Babar the elephant. Uh huh yeah, And I might 955 00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:57,880 Speaker 1: be mispronouncing it. Perhaps it's baboo or baboo. I like baboo, 956 00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:01,320 Speaker 1: and our intrepid producer justin him to us that baboo 957 00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:04,400 Speaker 1: is a Charlie Brown reference. I knew it sounded familiar, 958 00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:08,560 Speaker 1: but I just thought it was because of Fabar, baboo, baboo, 959 00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:13,360 Speaker 1: Charlie Brown. Football's Well, I have a letter here from Cliff, 960 00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:17,200 Speaker 1: uh and I love it. Uh. Cliff said, I enjoyed 961 00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:19,840 Speaker 1: listening to your podcast about couple speak. My wife and 962 00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:23,400 Speaker 1: I do have pet names. I am the rooster and 963 00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:25,640 Speaker 1: she is the chicken, is I am the rooster? Knows 964 00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:29,120 Speaker 1: I'm the walrus? Okay, uh, he said. It's started after 965 00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:31,840 Speaker 1: we heard a funny commercial about egg whites, the chicken 966 00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:34,040 Speaker 1: and the stories and group in a group therapy session, 967 00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:37,120 Speaker 1: explaining that her eggs have changed. At the end, she says, 968 00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be okay because I'm a good chicken. Well, 969 00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:43,080 Speaker 1: the joke took, and from there on, when things get rough, 970 00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:45,520 Speaker 1: she states she is going to be okay because she's 971 00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:48,760 Speaker 1: a good chicken. Naturally, we started calling each other chicken 972 00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:52,480 Speaker 1: and rooster. Actually I call her my pretty little chicken. 973 00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,600 Speaker 1: Enjoy your perspective on various topics. Keep up the great 974 00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:59,160 Speaker 1: work and keep listening. Cliff, thank you and thanks everybody 975 00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:01,520 Speaker 1: who's written into to us Mom Stuff at how stuff 976 01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:04,600 Speaker 1: works dot com is our email address and for links 977 01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:06,520 Speaker 1: to all of our social media as well as all 978 01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:09,920 Speaker 1: of our blogs, videos, and podcasts, including this one with 979 01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:12,360 Speaker 1: links to all of our sources. So you can learn 980 01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:16,640 Speaker 1: more about anxiety, head on over to stuff Mom Never 981 01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:23,320 Speaker 1: Told You dot com for more on this and thousands 982 01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:33,640 Speaker 1: of other topics. Is it how stuff works dot com