WEBVTT - 'Merica! 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:10.160 America. It's one more thing. I thought I would be annoyed, 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:14.200 but I was charmed. But first to follow up from 0:00:14.440 --> 0:00:16.360 uh was it the other day? I can't remember the 0:00:16.360 --> 0:00:19.720 one more thing where Michael Aangelo told his mystifying story 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:29.280 of maybe road rage thing attempt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:33.040 did not get many theories about what was going on 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:35.880 that held water at all. And if you didn't hear it, 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:41.800 I believe it is August fifths. One more thing, anyway, 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:46.479 is that right two days ago? Or was that yesterday? 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:49.879 It was yesterday? Yesterday? Okay, yeah, I guess it was wednesday. 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:51.760 We skipped Yeah, all right, so it was August sixth. 0:00:52.520 --> 0:00:56.680 The only email worth mentioning is Rebecca from Sue Falls, 0:00:56.720 --> 0:00:59.360 who says I work for a well known auto insurance company. 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:03.720 In the claims bar, listening to Michael Angelo described the incident, accident, 0:01:03.960 --> 0:01:06.560 he was almost in raised insurance fraud red flags for me. 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:09.800 Common tactic scammers used to get insurance money, try to 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:12.960 stage or cause an accident and typically have oh, look 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:16.479 a third party you witnessed the event and will testify. 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:20.000 You were here, right, Katie. I was a very short version. 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:20.760 Uh. 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:23.679 Somebody pulls into the parking lot. Michael almost got hit 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:26.080 by a car. Then he pulls into the parking lot 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:27.960 and somebody pulls up and says, hey, you almost hit me. 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:30.160 Then somebody else shows up and says, I was a 0:01:30.160 --> 0:01:34.959 witness he almost hit Uh yeah, that scream scammed to me. 0:01:35.000 --> 0:01:37.080 Well yeah, but they didn't hit him, So what are 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:38.480 you going to claim? 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:42.120 Well, and that's that's the funny thing. Here's Rebecca. The 0:01:42.120 --> 0:01:44.680 fact that these people approached him after their attempt at 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:46.160 causing an accident failed. 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:46.560 They miss. 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:47.800 His mind boggled. 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:52.600 Right again, a lot of criminals are really stupid. The 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.040 one person he says, hey, if you miss, we got 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:58.840 a board, we gotta pull a plug and then try 0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:02.760 an Oh, because she didn't actually with them, I can't 0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:05.360 claim I saw a wreck if I didn't see a wreck. 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:08.560 And then she said I highly recommend dash cameras. 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:10.880 So ah, that's one thing I do like about the Tesla. 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:12.560 I got everything on film all the time. 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:15.680 But the main topic of the podcast today. And I 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:17.480 expected to be annoyed by this because it was from 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:21.480 the New York Times, but I was not. I was 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:26.079 actually amused. The premise of this article is, do you 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:29.960 want to understand America. Look at our stuff. And this 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:33.200 this gal who wrote this, what's her name, Emily Keegan, 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:39.920 Welcome to my Museum of America. Twenty five things Objects 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:44.760 that explain America. And I thought, hey, it's freaking New 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:48.239 York Times. There was a number of sixteen nineteen projects 0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:52.480 spout and sons of bitches. Number one, the four ninety 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:57.920 nine cost Co rotisserie chicken. They say we're a divided country. 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:00.280 They say we have nothing in common. Right, left, urban 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:03.480 rural men, women, Real America, Fake America. Spend a Saturday 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:06.720 afternoon wandering the isles of your nearest Costco. You'll find 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:09.480 quickly that we are no different at all. Americans want 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:12.840 the same thing a four dollars ninety nine cent rotisserie chicken, 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:15.480 a dollar fifty hot dog, and a cartful of enough 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:18.520 stuff to survive a nuclear winter. At Costco, we are 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:21.079 one nation under God with bulk groceries for all. 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:23.280 I'm glad the math works on that, and I suppose 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:25.240 it does on me. I don't know if I've ever 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:27.640 gone in there and just gotten the chicken and walked out, 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:31.040 so uh, but man, that's a dang good chicken, especially 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:31.680 for that price. 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:34.800 Please, and virtually every grocery store in America does it now. 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:38.320 And you know, I've got a rotisseri on my fancy 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:41.440 new grill that I need to use. But every time 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:44.040 I think, oh, you know, it's delicious, or rotisserie chicken, 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:47.120 and then I think, okay, I'll get a chicken. I'll 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:50.520 get this spice off its head. I'll well, I think 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:54.080 I'll get one pre decavitated. But you know, I'll go 0:03:54.080 --> 0:03:56.520 ahead and spice her up. I'll fire up, I'll figure 0:03:56.520 --> 0:03:59.320 out how the rotisseri works, I'll fire up the grill, 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:00.920 and I think I'm gonna go to the f and 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:04.080 grocery store and buy one because they're really good. Five dollars, 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:06.680 six dollars, seven, eight dollars, It doesn't matter, because they 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:10.840 are really good. But let's continue on her Museum of America. 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:13.200 Plastic lawn flamengos. 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:17.360 We never had them. I always enjoyed people that did. 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:20.520 My family never had the plastic lawn flamingo. Yes, Katie, 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:22.280 you have a flamingo. 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:24.120 Oh, in the town where I grew up, you could 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:26.680 actually flamingo somebody's house. And there was a company that 0:04:26.720 --> 0:04:28.640 would take like fifty to the house and just cover 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:29.400 the whole front lawn. 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:32.359 Loved doing that. And in Wisconsin as a kid, the 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:34.440 people who would dress them up for the season, you know, 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:35.159 winter goats. 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:37.600 Yeah, and what's funny. And I'm not going to read 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:39.680 this whole thing because it's too long. But and she 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:41.920 writes up every item in a very funny way. She's 0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:45.520 a very clever writer. But this entire screed that she 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:50.000 writes is about lawns and not about lawn flamengos at all. 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:55.279 But she says, our lawns might be agriculturally worthless, economic sinkholes, 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:58.320 requiring hard labor and constant maintenance. But the American urge 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:00.520 to tame the wilderness by transforming it in our own 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:03.320 image is hard to deny. What we once called pioneering, 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:06.280 we now call mowing the grass. And I wonder if 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:10.960 she's onto something there, taming the wilderness, making it comfortable 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:16.119 for ourselves and attractive. And I realize this is mostly humor, 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:18.520 but I think she's kind of made a good point there, well, 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:20.480 as if I don't know that humor can make good points. 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:24.680 And she goes with the juicy couture sweatsuit. Oh there 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:27.960 you go, a young Paris Hilton turned the leisure suit 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:31.559 into a power suit by wearing juicy couture volor sets 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:33.719 on the regular. It was a move that said, I'm 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:36.480 so wealthy, I don't even have to get dressed. 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:38.960 Well, and they look so thick and hot also, but 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:41.280 apparently they look comfortable and. 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:45.320 They say juicy across the butt right, which every dad 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:48.400 just loves the idea of their daughter wearing juicy Or the. 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:50.600 First time I saw that, I thought, am I seeing this? 0:05:50.800 --> 0:05:55.680 Or is some sort of cartoon caption in my own head? 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:57.880 Well, does she get credit for kind of launching the 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:00.680 I'm not even going to get dressed today a movement 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:02.359 that is caught on with so many people. 0:06:02.839 --> 0:06:05.440 She's certainly one of the founding mothers of no doubt. 0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:08.760 I live in a college town and it's walking across 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:11.880 in front of me at the stopwalk crosswalk all the time. 0:06:12.080 --> 0:06:13.680 Do you have any opinion about it? Because that is 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:16.839 my husband's g hot. He gets so angry at pajama 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:18.599 pants now not why. 0:06:19.320 --> 0:06:22.000 I don't know. I go back and forth between why 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:23.640 do we wear uncomfortable clothes? 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:23.960 Ever? 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:30.240 And it says something about society and respect and how 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:32.400 seriously do take things so I go back and forth 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:33.440 between those two things. 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:36.320 Yeah, you know, it's funny. I'm back and forth on 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:39.520 that too, partly because you know, I play a lot 0:06:39.520 --> 0:06:42.680 of golf, and I have some golf pants golf slacks 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:47.520 that are incredibly comfortable. They're light, they're stretchy. 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:50.720 All the guys around here, that's what they wear all 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:52.800 the time. Yeah, like a T shirt and golf pants 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:53.479 and tennis shoes. 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:56.119 Yeah, I get out of those what people are getting 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:59.000 out of the pjs. But I wouldn't wear pjs in public. 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:01.480 I like this one. This is a little more wisdom 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:06.440 and humor. The NASCAR Chevy Impalla. NASCAR Like America is 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:09.200 built on the promise of transformation. Cars that look like 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:11.800 the ones in our driveway are turned into elite machines 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:15.080 capable of doing the unthinkable. That Impala you rented at 0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:17.520 the Deuce on Airport on the highway. It handled like 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:20.840 a mattress souped up for the racetrack. It goes two 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:23.360 hundred miles per hour and takes curves like a racehorse. 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:26.520 NASCAR asked us to rethink our lives. Is full of 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:29.160 possibility and gives us a reason to believe in the 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:32.040 most American fantasy. With the right pit crew, any of 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:33.160 us can be champions. 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:34.760 Wow. I don't know if I agree with that, but 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:35.440 I like the writing. 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:39.640 I do too. I do too. Then she goes with 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:43.600 the ring light. Because the country, the world has reached 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:49.640 peak opinion. Everybody has an opinion. Personal injury lawyer advertisements. 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:53.560 Whoa, Oh, it's more now than it's ever been. Did 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:57.120 something happen with insurance companies? Is it easier to scam 0:07:57.200 --> 0:07:58.960 money now than it used to be? 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:02.760 Yes, it must be. Try lawyers associations have become more 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:05.480 and more powerful in more and more states. 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:07.960 Because a friend of mine got hit with this recently, 0:08:08.080 --> 0:08:10.760 got into a minor fender bender. Guy said he was fine, 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:14.720 asked several times, then got a letter like two weeks later. 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:19.120 Guy was from Mexico. This person hired a one of 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:23.200 those people off of billboard from LA and insurance company said, 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:26.360 we'll take care of it. Just don't if they get 0:08:26.360 --> 0:08:28.040 a hold of you, don't answer any questions or anything 0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:29.600 like that. We'll take care of it. But I wonder 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:31.800 do they always pay out? They must always pay out, 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:36.480 They must always pay out a little bit enough that 0:08:36.679 --> 0:08:39.160 we got to fix that. As a system. Half the 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:41.920 billboards on the interstate shouldn't be saying did you get 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:42.200 in a wreck? 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:42.880 Did you get in wrecked? 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:44.440 Give me called you've gotten e wrecked because I'm gonna 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:46.040 screw somebody, and even though you're not hurt. 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:49.280 It's by far the number one category on billboards in America. 0:08:49.320 --> 0:08:52.600 It's not even close. And back to this gals clever 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:58.199 lighting writing. She writes, you know all of these commercials 0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:01.800 and what you're just saying also be Oh the sheer 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:04.000 number probably implies we are a nation on the brink, 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:07.360 battered and out for blood. But it also might also 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:10.640 be proof of a successful republic. When John Adams wrote 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:13.160 of quote, an empire of laws and not of men, 0:09:13.640 --> 0:09:19.400 was he not dreaming of calling one eight hundred got pain? Oh? 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:24.440 Boy, guess a slightly different, more serious angle on that 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:26.000 that I thought of the other day. I was writing 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:28.840 with a guy in an uber for some reason, and 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:32.080 he was from India, and somehow the topic came up. 0:09:32.440 --> 0:09:34.800 How I always ask people about it? He loves the 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:37.040 United States? And why do he loved the United States 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:38.600 and all that sort of stuff. I don't know if 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:40.599 an ambulance came by us our cup car anyway. But 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:42.920 he brought up the topic of He said, this is 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:45.960 the only country where an ambulance comes along and its 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:47.800 lights are on and everybody moves out of the way. 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:50.719 He said, in India, you're just screwed. Ambulances sit there 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:53.120 with their lights on. Everybody knows they're going to emergency 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:56.080 where somebody is having a heart attack or bleeding or whatever. 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:58.360 Nobody gets out of the way. They're not going to 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:02.080 inconvenience themselves. You just have to wait in traffic like 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:04.000 everyone else. Is an ambulance, he said, are in the 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:05.800 United says everybody gets out of the way, or don't 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:08.040 fly a helicopter there if they need to pick you up. 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:09.800 And you add some sort of wreck that doesn't happen 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:11.920 anywhere else. And I thought that's really interesting. 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:15.080 Yeah, yeah, that's a great point. I'm not sure I 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:17.680 want to do this one. It's about the it's about 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:23.120 Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop company has put out a number of 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:24.240 interesting products. 0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:30.760 I thought she died in the third movie with Iron Man, 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:33.360 and then she turned out to be alive and has superpowers. 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:36.600 To god, dang it, spoiler alert, I was so happy 0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:41.640 she died. It's a personal pleasurement device. This is some 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:42.680 funny writing. 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:45.440 Is it? 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:46.240 Is it the U? 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:49.160 Is it the egg? Yeah? The egg? 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:52.280 Do you put it on top of you or in't you? 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:53.800 Do you just hold it? 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:55.200 Do you hold it gently in your hand? 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:55.680 Now? 0:10:55.840 --> 0:10:56.640 The second one. 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.960 Said like a hen, Yes, exactly, Michael, we thought of 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:04.680 the same thing at the same time. You sit on 0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:05.360 it like a chicken. 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:08.800 Fuck. Well, you can make that noise if you like that, 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:14.640 the noise I make, I'm row I'm reminded. Oh, for 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:21.160 God's sake doing that. Hansen uses these for on air 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:24.720 segments when we're on vacation. And if I read the sentence, 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:27.280 it will be useless for that purpose. 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:29.840 And if I say I crow like a rooster when 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:31.280 I orgasm, that will ruin it. 0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:43.640 Well, something's ruined. It's ruined. I'm going to cleanse it slightly. 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:48.200 She writes why this is such a great example of 0:11:48.240 --> 0:11:52.480 them of America. When asked to shove an egg shaped 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:56.280 rock a power for JJ's for sixty six dollars, a 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:59.560 health neer nation might have said heck no instead of 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:04.440 how far. But in lieu of a functioning healthcare system, 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:06.920 will take what we can get. 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:08.920 Somebody says jump, don't ask how. 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:11.680 Yeah, I also walk like this. 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:16.599 I get out of bed and I walk around, looks he's. 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:18.280 The rooster strutt and stop it. Never do that again. 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:23.400 H dirty soda. They mentioned in the Museum of What 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:25.640 Is America? The T shirt cannon. 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:28.640 What's I gotta? I got it back just batically because 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:30.200 it keeps coming up in my life and I don't 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:32.240 know what it is. What's dirty soda? Every place I 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:33.920 go they got dirty soda. I don't know what it is. 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:38.640 It's an ungodly concoction of soda, pop flavored syrup, fresh 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:39.880 fruit juice, and cream. 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:41.600 Okay, man, it's the hot thing. 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:41.839 Man. 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:44.160 Oh, you don't drink dirty soda? A number of people 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:45.079 have said to me recently. 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.560 She says it once was popular only in Utah. It's 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:51.280 become a nationwide sensation thanks to a cadre of teetotal 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:54.560 Mormon influencers who drink doctored up SODA's instead of coffee 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:54.959 and booze. 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:56.480 I didn't know that's where it came from. But yeah, 0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:58.280 it's super popular and they charge a. 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:02.240 Lot for it. Yeah, yeah, back to the T shirt cannon. 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:05.600 The T shirt canon emerges three American obsessions guns, sports, 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:06.679 and freebe giveaways. 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:07.920 Yeah, that's pretty good. 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:10.280 That is a very American thing. The T shirt, canon 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:12.920 crest white strips. 0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:14.640 Oh, there you go. 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:17.480 We are not the happiest nation on earth, but we 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:24.200 are probably the smiliest. Continuing on the the pizza hut lamp. 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:29.800 In some countries, stained glasses reserved for the holiest of spaces, 0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:34.160 grand cathedrals and stately palaces. In America, Tiffany style glass 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:35.199 is for everybody. 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:39.560 Oh wow, that's right. Those kind of lamps. Is that 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:42.480 what they're called Tiffany lamps? Real ones are crazy expensive, 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:45.559 but yeah, Pizza decided to have them at pizza. That's 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:46.160 what we'll do. 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:50.680 Yeah, you know, I meant to say this at the outset. 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:53.160 The whole tone of this reminds me of the folks 0:13:53.200 --> 0:13:55.920 who came to the US for the World cop and 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:58.120 had a lot of their like negative illusions of the 0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:00.840 country blown up and went away saying these are the 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:04.480 most friendly people on earth. This country is crazy fun. 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:08.640 The stores are nuts. My god, this is amazing. Welcome 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:10.000 to our land. I hope you had a great time. 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:15.160 Come back anytime you want anyway. Uh blinged up crocs. Yeah, 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:16.319 so American? 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:20.800 Yeah, my son just got a pair of blinged up 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:22.520 slip on vans. He really likes. 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:27.240 Wow. Okay, all right, blinging, blinging your shoes wherever, whatever 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:29.800 sort the tree shaped air freshener. 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:36.800 Since it doesn't actually smell like a tree, you gotta 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:39.040 try to put that imagery in your mind, since it 0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:40.680 smells like chemicals of some sort. 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:46.280 It says pine, But no pine has ever grown on 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:49.640 God's Earth with that stank. So they shave it like 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:53.200 a pine tree exactly to convince you. I guess, I 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:56.520 don't know anyway. She says we can be our true 0:14:56.520 --> 0:15:00.160 selves in our cars. That's true. The George Foreman grill 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:10.720 ah dude wipes x L back before the big sewerage 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:13.480 got together and told us we can't use wipes anymore. 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:22.960 Sad desk salad in the Museum of America. Oh that's 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:26.240 fuddy oh boy ring doorbell camera. 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:30.520 So is the sad desk salad. Because in other countries 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:33.600 they don't probably eat lunch at their desk. I know, 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:37.720 my friends in Italy, the idea of sitting at your 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:39.520 desk and working, as opposed to going out to a 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:42.760 restaurant and doing the full two hour lunch would have 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:43.360 been crazy. 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:47.120 Yeah, the very few times I've actually worked in Europe. Yeah, 0:15:47.360 --> 0:15:49.480 lunch is lunch, and it includes a glass of wine 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:53.120 or two. Yeah, generally Yeah. Yeah, the ring doorbell camera 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:57.200 have we've always been so scared of strangers? She asks? 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:04.160 Moving along, the solo cup no quintessential expression of American 0:16:04.200 --> 0:16:07.920 industrial design, A new take on an old standard, made plastic, 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:11.480 disposable and extra strong so it can withstand the pressures 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:14.360 of a mosh pit, parking lot or beer pong tournament. 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:19.239 Yep, they are. They are quite the product. They're so sturdy. 0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:25.840 That's fantastic, Yeah, quoth Toby Keith, You, sir, do not 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:28.800 have a pair of testicles if you prefer drinking from 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:34.120 the glass, the great sage Toby Keith. I don't know. 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:36.600 This real tree print. 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:40.640 Oh that's the that's like a form of camouflage. 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:44.120 The realistic camo print. Not only for like camo, but 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:50.200 travel mugs, streetwear like Hull Street, for chairs. 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:57.880 Yeah, everywhere. Yeah, why that is just a fashion I. 0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:00.280 Guess, I don't know, she says. The further American get 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:02.160 from living in the forest, the more desperate we are 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:04.200 to touch grass. I don't know. Maybe that's true. I 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:06.639 don't know. Let's see what else do we have? The 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.360 bottomless basket of chips and salsa. 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:12.520 Hell yeah, or French fries if you're a red robin. 0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:20.000 Yeah, the live laugh love sign, boy first s ch 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:23.760 optimistic people. We sure do need constant reminders to cheer up. 0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:32.119 Oh boy. Yeah. The dog stroller. Oh lord. 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:34.439 I had a weird moment leaving a restaurant the other 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:37.720 day and I had my son in his regular stroller 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:39.320 and I was right next to a woman who had 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:40.720 a Yorkie in her stroller. 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:45.080 Man, that was an odd moment. Had that conversation many 0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:50.479 times with my h my kids, my son, my oldest, 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:54.159 partially because living at home when we had lots of 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:56.240 dogs all the time and they were a lot, and 0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:59.240 so he's kind of anti dogs because of that experience. 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:02.879 And but he can't imagine, like when we're traveling, the 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:04.440 number of people that have their dogs with me. He 0:18:04.440 --> 0:18:07.280 always says, that looks so miserable. You know, they're fighting 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:09.160 the dog in the lobby at the hotel and trying 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:11.359 to do this and everything. I get the furnish and 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:13.160 I agree, I don't want to take my dogs with 0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:15.840 me when I go to hotels and stuff like that. 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:18.679 But so the other day we saw somebody. They crossed 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:21.480 in front of us, and he's got a double stroller 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:25.520 and he's walking two dogs. And I thought, oh my god, 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:28.120 so you're dealing with the two little kids and you're 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:30.040 walking the dogs at the same time. That's a lot. 0:18:30.200 --> 0:18:32.120 Then when I pulled by them, I realized he had 0:18:32.160 --> 0:18:34.720 two little dogs in the front of the stroller, well 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:37.480 walking two bigger dogs. He had four dogs, two in 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:38.760 the stroller, two he's walking. 0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:43.720 Wow, wow, all right, dude, all right. Final exhibits in 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:44.159 the music. 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:47.680 Because the dogs can't walk or they don't want to walk. 0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:49.560 Is it like the Will Ferrell from Saturday Night Live? 0:18:49.760 --> 0:18:51.399 He doesn't walk, he hates it. 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:54.760 Oh, in the case of that, dude, he has two 0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:57.520 big dogs that can go for miles and two little dogs. 0:18:57.560 --> 0:18:59.040 They had to have tiny little legs. 0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:03.800 All right, So they're stroller. So making see the neighborhood. 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.000 That it's a good question to change a scene. I 0:19:08.040 --> 0:19:10.600 don't know, does a dog, Thank my god, these four walls. 0:19:10.600 --> 0:19:13.800 I'm going crazy. Final a few exhibits in the Museum 0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:20.400 of America. The gas station bathroom key. She talks about 0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:24.000 the ritual humiliation of asking the attendant for the bathroom key, 0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:28.000 then galloping down the aisles holding a giant keychain. Traditionally 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:30.159 one is no smaller than a wooden spoon and no 0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:33.639 larger than a ten pound turkey. Escaping with it is 0:19:33.680 --> 0:19:36.680 nearly impossible. You know what it is. It's a great 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:40.120 practical American innovation. It's not escaping with it. It's forgetting 0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:44.840 you had it. You can't possibly forget it or lose it, 0:19:45.280 --> 0:19:48.359 which is something Bathroom's probably dealt with fifty thousand times. 0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:50.840 Then some guy thought, I'm gonna put about a foot 0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:51.280 and a half. 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:53.840 Of a two by four and attach it to that 0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:56.399 damn cake, the giant chunk of heavy metal. 0:19:56.760 --> 0:19:59.400 Right then I'll take a sharpie and write bathroom on it. 0:20:02.119 --> 0:20:09.040 Final couple of exhibits Bowtox, The world's greatest melting pot 0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:11.560 is increasingly made up of a bunch of faces that 0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:15.439 look the same funny. We may look ridiculous, irl, but 0:20:15.520 --> 0:20:18.359 on camera we are glowing audio s, laugh lines. The 0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:22.280 future is deadpan. I had to get some plastic surgery 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:27.080 because of cancer removal on my nose, and the place 0:20:27.080 --> 0:20:30.120 where I went, everybody was delightful and helpful, probably because 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:33.920 they make lots of money. But everybody was so botoxed. 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:37.320 It was like a weird Stepford Wives thing. I mean, 0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:40.280 all the women there had had work done and they 0:20:40.280 --> 0:20:42.920 were all botoxed. Yeah. 0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:44.760 I ran into that the other day too. I don't 0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:47.000 remember what kind of doctor's office it was, but everybody 0:20:47.040 --> 0:20:50.320 had the Jeff Bezos's wife look that worked there. 0:20:50.840 --> 0:20:55.639